Self-Review — Building Trust

Let’s Look at Building Trust, a Short Story

This is another short story that I started up during a year when I was writing every day. The original prompt for Building Trust was the word fire.

I wrote two sections and then ran out of gas. But it’s a good thing I left it. This means that I started this story during the third quarter of 2021.

But I finally finished it during the fourth quarter of 2024.

Background

Like a lot of young girls, I was into horses when I was a tween. I took plenty of riding lessons and went to a horse camp when I was eleven. I’ve also been to places like Belmont race track and the track at New Orleans, which is apparently Fair Grounds.

I don’t think I had written a story about working with horses before, not even for the Real Hub of the Universe trilogy. So, it was a great, untried source for a plot.

Also, leaving it for a good three years meant I could remake it into something very new. I have no idea what I was originally planning, and probably didn’t have much of a plan at all.

Plot

Bethany has been running Shortman Stables for a while and the stables are going under financially. So, she takes a chance and buys an untamable filly named Running Wildfire.

To keep the stable going, she’ll lead trail rides or accept fees for her stud, Dark Materials to do his thing. She sells foals out of Rose Tattoo, Marylou Cha-Cha, and Basket Case. Plus, she has a track and sulkies that others can rent.

Er, did I mention that these are Standardbred horses? They’re the kind who pull a sulky (a small cart resembling a chariot) for racing.

Bethany works with Running Wildfire and slowly gets her accustomed to people again. Along the way, she learns the filly was abused.

As she gains the filly’s trust, Bethany hires a driver, Tanya. But Tanya comes with baggage of her own, and has a lot in common with Running Wildfire.

When Tanya’s ex-husband finds out where she lives, and wants his son back, things get dicey, and just when Running Wildfire is starting to show some real promise.

Characters

The human characters are Bethany Shortman (the POV character) and her brother Sean. We also see Sean’s wife Libby and their two kids, Sarah and Brian.

Bethany hires Tanya Matthewson-Wilson to be a driver, and there’s Tanya’s son Marcus and her ex-husband Troy. There are also Dave Derricko (a TV reporter) and an intern who’s working the camera for him named Tracy. Lots of T names there. Sorry!

There’s also Henry Williams (yes, Bethany calls him Hank), who owns horses in Houston, and Andy the postmaster and Ralph the sheriff. Plus there’s a groom named Ken.

Horse characters are Running Wildfire (AKA Cherry or Cherry Bomb), Dark Materials (Matty), Rose Tattoo (Rosie), Basket Case (Casey), Marylou Cha-Cha, and Smoky, a mule. I mention another dozen or so horses but never name them.

At Henry Williams’s farm, there’s Running Total, who is Running Wildfire’s dam (mother). And there are also the other fillies in the Oak Grove Open Trot race.

Building Trust with Memorable Quotes

{She} was … seventy-three to one. But she wasn’t the longest shot. … [N]umbers always change at a race, particularly as late bettors get their wagers in. Running Wildfire was elevated to fifty-eight to one for a while there, and then came back down to earth, ending up at sixty-seven to one when the betting windows closed.

With my bet for our gal to win, I could end up with a payout of a few hundred bucks. Or just be out a twenty. Either way, I was happy.

“And, they’re off! Motormouth Mabel starts off hugging the rail with jackrabbit Dancing Poodle hot on her heels. Cataclysm and Alison Wonder Girl are battling for third. Then rounding out the field it’s Pretty Portia; Trial of the Century; Running Wildfire; All or Nothing; Katy Bar the Door; Irish Colleen; Galloping Grace; Ravenswood, Marcia, Marcia, Marcia; Too Short a Season; Antagonist; Out of Joint; Sweet Sioux; and Book ‘em Danielle bringing up the rear.”

The middle of the pack wasn’t the greatest place for my gal to be. But it wasn’t horrible, either. The last four horses were far enough back that the chances of them catching up and passing the first three was virtually zero.

“Rounding the turn, Irish Colleen starts making her move as Dancing Poodle starts to tire. Cataclysm has pulled up to Motormouth Mabel and they’re duking it out. Alison Wonder Girl has faded. Trial of the Century is coming around and looking for an opening. Running Wildfire is on the outside, making a move and looking to stave off Irish Colleen. Ravenswood and Katy Bar the Door are still in contention as the others fade.”

I crossed my fingers and gritted my teeth. The top seven was respectable for a first outing. Don’t get greedy, Bethany.

Rating for Building Trust

The story has a T rating. I describe some violence to the horses but it’s not ‘on camera’ and there are threats to Bethany and Tanya. Sean is knocked out, and Troy gets hit with a tranquilizer dart in a rather, ahem, sensitive area.

Plus, I mention domestic violence although I don’t get into the specifics.

Takeaways

I really like how this one turned out. It was definitely promising, and the stuff I wrote in 2024 changed it from just a horse story to a tale of female empowerment.

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