Category: Writing

Let’s Look at Beauty is Only Earth Deep

Beauty is Only Earth Deep is kind of a small snack of a story. It’s a little better than a vignette, and I suppose I could expand upon it. Or not.

It might even be the kind of thing that could end up as a drabble or in a collection of flash fiction. It’s kind of the ultimate cut to the chase story, I suppose you could say.

I wrote this story during the third quarter of 2021.

Background

The original prompt word was iris.

I love irises, and I grow them in my yard. I even carried them in my bridal bouquet!

Plot

Humanity’s first contact with unnamed aliens comes with a demand for the most beautiful things we can muster—in ten minutes. And if we can’t do as they require, then we’ll be destroyed.

No pressure.

Can Colette, her neighbors, and everyone else on the planet ever hope to satisfy the aliens’ demands in time?

Characters

The characters are Colette and her neighbors, who I don’t name.

Memorable Quotes from Beauty is Only Earth Deep

Colette stared at the aliens’ instructions for a moment.

Bring the most beautiful thing to us in one one-hundredth of your planet’s rotation or be destroyed.

“Pretty damn straightforward,” she muttered. “At least everybody got the same message. Those aliens are going to end up with seven billion roses is if they don’t watch out.”

Rating for Beauty is Only Earth Deep

The story has a K rating. This story is very short and does not have the time to get into anything nasty, messy, or unsuitable for mixed company.

Much like Colette, I had to find what I wanted post haste.

Takeaways for Beauty is Only Earth Deep

Like the vast majority of the one part, quickie stories I wrote in 2021, this one is more of a fragment than anything else. Still, I like the idea of making it so our last, best hope of survival can come from just giving up something beautiful.

But if the aliens would prefer velvet Elvis paintings or AstroTurf or dumpsters, then I guess we’ve had a good run.

And maybe, when I want to add some more depth to this one, I could make something more of it. After all, who are these aliens, anyway? And who are they to dictate such terms to us?

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A Review of Prom Night was Never Like This

It’s time to look at Prom Night was Never Like This.

I wrote this story during the second quarter of 2021. The original prompt word was just the word kick.

Background

The prompts are more or less random. My only requirement to myself was to keep them in alphabetical order in 2021. But once I fulfilled that need, the idea was that I could do with the prompts whatever I pleased.

In this case, my first thought was about Kathleen Kennedy, who was known as Kick. And I mean the older one, the one who died in the 1940s. But I didn’t really want to write about her, per se.

However, one great idea that came out of this story is the one about translating programs assigning almost random words for unpronounceable alien names. I pick this idea up again in Alien Allies from 2023 and The New Kid from 2024.

I truly love this particular idea of our translator program just sort of doing this, so I will undoubtedly use this method again.

Plot

A young Yttrianite known as Kick buys a diary to record their innermost thoughts about a human teenaged boy asking them to the prom.

The details of a prom date are causes for confusion in Kick. These details include whether they should wear a gown or a tux or something else. And, what should they do with their vestigial wings?

These are just so many puzzlements for an exotic yet extremely friendly species.

Characters

The characters are Kick, a Yttrianite, and human Kevin Chandler. But I never show Kevin, and Kick doesn’t describe him in their diary entries.

Er, sorry, Kev.

Memorable Quotes

I’m called Kick, just like Kathleen Kennedy was. But my real name isn’t Kathleen or anything like it. And I’m not human. And I’m not even what humans would call female. Or male.

I’m just … Kick.

The whole Kennedy connection comes from our ancestors landing in the Charles River, lo these many centuries ago. I know that in the nineteenth century, Boston was called the Hub of the Universe. But I think Oliver Wendell Holmes was just joking around.

Except now it really is.

We had to study all that junk in school. Brahmins and Yttrianites like me. The name stuck—we’re the same color as Yttrium. Silver and black. I guess humans wanted something that sounded kind of alien to their ears, as our real native name is impossible for them to say. I think they also chose it because Yttrium is toxic to Earth life.

I guess they were afraid of us. Little did they know that we’re harmless, really just exploring. Cosmic creampuffs. A bunch of us settled here, a bunch of them settled there, and we’re kind of the species equivalent of peanut butter and jelly these days.

That reminds me, I need to get a snack.

So, diary, I bought you—old-fashioned paper and cover with a lock and all—because I need a place off the grid to record my inmost, deepest thoughts.

Which are—Kevin Chandler asked me to the prom.

What am I gonna do? It feels so… weird. More later.

Rating for Prom Night Was Never Like This

The story has a K rating. Even though Kick’s gender does not correspond to any of ours, nothing untoward or even terribly odd happens.

In fact, about the only thing that’s strange is that I say Kick is a Yttrianite. But otherwise, these could pretty much be the diary entries of any teen or tween human.

Except for the wings.

Takeaways for Prom Night Was Never Like This

If we are ever in a position where we humans are more or less equivalent in technology and understanding to an alien species, then issues like Kick’s could become almost commonplace. And if those are our toughest problems to solve with aliens, then we would be exceptionally lucky.

I like Kick, and I think the story could have had some potential. There is a lot that’s undiscovered here. But unless I want to write more in this universe/scenario, then I have no idea how I’ll revisit them.

However, it is kind of cool that Kick references the hub of the universe, thereby neatly dovetailing with Ceilidh’s world.

And there’s no doubt that prom night was never like this before.

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A Review of A Tumble in a Tomb

After a tumble in a tomb, is there any way to get out of a dark Egyptian pyramid?

I wrote this story during the first quarter of 2021. The prompt word was key.

Background

I love ancient Egypt and its pyramids, and the possibility of someone being trapped for all eternity is, of course, not fiction at all.

Plot

Without too much of a plot to speak of, the narrator starts off in pitch dark. But how did they get in such utter blackness? I never really say whether it’s an earthquake or a terror attack or something else entirely.

Or it could be that someone else in their class or digging party tripped some sort of old alarm or failsafe booby trap.

If the details sound sketchy, though, it’s because they absolutely are.

Characters

The characters are just the unnamed narrator. They mention their professor, but that’s it.

Memorable Quotes

It’s dark as all get out in here, like I was trapped in a big stick of licorice and not an Egyptian tomb. Fourth dynasty. I think. Not that it matters right now.

I can’t even estimate how much oxygen I have left. Lighting a match, if I even could, would just eat up some of my air. I guess a few extra seconds of life are worth knowing. But I don’t want to risk it.

Digging should be second nature to me. And I have pulled on any bit of stone where my fingers can get purchase. This isn’t even a main chamber. My professor sent me over here to work. I think he thought I would be out of the way. Well, he was right about that.

I would scream, but there’s no one to hear me. I mean, I heard the cave-in. I doubt my professor is still alive, for I haven’t heard him shouting. And I haven’t heard rescuers. No dogs, no drills, and no shovels.

I have to be careful not to get turned around, but it’s so damned easy to do just that. I’m trying to stay facing where I came in—but that means I can’t check behind me.

Rating for a Tumble in a Tomb

The story has a K rating. Although it’s highly likely that the narrator is quite simply not going to live to see another day, they are surprisingly unbothered by it all.

At the same time, though, they are well aware that panicking is not going to help them out in any manner.

Takeaways for A Tumble in a Tomb

This one ends rather abruptly, so I suppose I could have fleshed it out a bit more. But I was starting to get into a bit of a bind.

After all, my choices for an endgame were for the main character to survive, or not. There really isn’t anything in between.

And looking at it now, a good four years later, I am not so sure I know which way I would prefer to take this short tale. Any ideas, trusty readers?

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Let’s Look at The Great Cleanup

Because I was writing every day in 2021, sometimes I had to reach back to what is almost bible fan fiction. The Great Cleanup is one such story, as is The Field Gleaner.

I wrote this story during the first quarter of 2021. The prompt was the word innocents.

Background

One thing that should trouble any student of the Hebrew tanakh (the so-called ‘Old Testament’) is that when the Genesis flood comes, it doesn’t spare obvious innocents, such as infants.

With this idea in mind, I decided someone would have had to have protested, in some manner.

Plot

As the flood waters recede, Noah’s sons and daughters-in-law notice, to their horror, that the land is littered with corpses. Men, women, children, domestic and wild animals—you name it.

As Japheth’s wife (the narrator) looks at the sea of dead faces, she sees small babies and children. And she starts to wonder about how they ever could have been wicked enough to deserve such an all-encompassing, final punishment.

When she and the other daughters-in-law start to bury the many corpses, Noah declares these necessary tasks to be ‘women’s work’. He’s too busy drinking heavily (which is biblically canon).

While the three sons of Noah do not object to this characterization of the work, they also, apparently, quietly help out by burying the dead overnight while Noah is sleeping it off.

Then they meet other people, and she asks about the ages of the children she sees. When the numbers don’t add up, she realizes her family aren’t the only survivors. And when Noah offers ever-increasingly outlandish explanations for why this is so, it confirms that she’s right.

When she asks one last question, Noah finally slaps her. She and Japheth agree to move their family away from Noah, his ‘facts’ that don’t make any sense, and his inebriated tyranny.

Characters

The characters are Japheth’s wife (in the Jubilees, her name is Adataneses), Japheth, Ham and his wife (her name is Na’eltama’uk), Shem and his wife (her name is Sedeqetelebab), and Noah and his wife (her name is Emzara).

Plus, there are some other people, but I do not name them.

The Book of Jubilees is canon to the Ethiopian Orthodox Church as well as Beta Israel.

But the book isn’t considered to be canonical in any mainstream Jewish theology or sect. So, your mileage may vary. Since I don’t name the women, it kind of doesn’t matter to the overall point of the story.

Memorable Quotes from The Great Cleanup

Now that the great flood is over, and the ground is more or less dry, I have gotten to wondering about the ones who were left behind. We got into the ark, we took whichever animals and plants we could, and the floodwaters carried us for more than a month. Thank the Lord for Japheth. He’s proven to be a wonderful companion. I’m not so sure Ham’s wife feels the same way. I’ve heard them quarreling at times.

When the ark was first lifted by the floodwaters, there was screaming outside, and I heard pounding. My father-in-law, Noah, he said to ignore them. He said they were all wicked, chosen to die for their sins. He said it was God’s righteous judgment.

But I cannot believe that this is so. I have never confided this nagging feeling to anyone before, and I suspect I will take it to my grave. But I know there were newborn babes, foals and calves and others. They must have been innocent. And so, I believe there may have been others.

The judgment, it would appear, was not so righteous after all.

Rating

The story has a K rating.

Takeaways from The Great Cleanup

A biblical flood story is the ultimate disaster epic for Iron Age people. It’s also easier to claim the ones who are lost didn’t deserve to live. But a closer look shows the seams in such a narrative.

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Let’s Look at Failure

The truth is, I really despise the concept of ‘failure is not an option’. Of course it is! It always is, like it or not. Sometimes, stuff just…happens.

I wrote this story during the first quarter of 2021.

Background for Failure

The prompt word for this one is, of course, its title. I’ve always found the old cliché about failing not being an option as being kind of short-sighted. After all, stuff just plain happens. Or people simply do not follow through.

I think because I am really not very adversarial, and I tend to dislike competition in most forms, these ideas tend to resonate with me.

Plot

There truly is not a whole hell of a plot going on here. Essentially, this little vignette is just a student complaining to someone in charge. It could be the coach, the gym teacher, or the principal of the school.

But it does not really matter that there is no designation for this authority figure. Whoever they are, they are telling this kid what to do. And he is having none of it.

Characters

The characters are the narrator, who is clearly a kid in either middle school or high school. He (probably) is talking to a coach or teacher, or possibly the principal, Mr. Morris.

Memorable Quotes

Of course there are exceptions. You don’t want the heart surgeon to fail, or the health inspector. Or the soldier.

But failing to turn out the lights before you go to sleep? The difference in the bill is mere fractions of a penny—and you aren’t putting off the inevitable final loss of all fossil fuels. You’re only bringing it a day closer at the most. No biggie.

Rating

The story has a K rating.

Failure and Takeaways

If I could find a way to lop off something like nineteen words, I could conceivably enter this little dollop of story as a drabble for wherever those are being published these days.

But at this point in time, I am not so sure that it would be worth the time and effort, however small.

Failure indeed.

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A Review of When Russia Invaded Texas

When Russia Invaded Texas originally started out as a shorter story called Odessa. But that ended so abruptly that I felt I could expand on it in a big way.

As a result, Odessa is now just the first section.

I started to write this story during the third quarter of 2021. But I did not finish it until the first quarter of 2025. The original prompt was the word Odessa.

When Russia Invaded Texas: the Background

One thing that I think is kind of cool is that there are a few rather different places in the world called Odessa. Probably the best-known one is in Ukraine. But there are also towns and cities with that name in Texas and Delaware, among other American states.

And so, when I wrote the first part, I wanted it to be a surprise that the Russian army was in America. Everything about the first chapter is coded Russian. That is, except for the last line, where I finally mention Texas.

And then, when I wanted to finish it, the story got some depth and a name change.

Plot for When Russia Invaded Texas

In more or less the present time, everything goes to hell in a handcart when the earth’s magnetic poles shift while, at the same time, the planet’s core starts spinning in the opposite direction.

The power goes out, magnets stop working reliably, and batteries become useless paperweights.

Within a few years after this upheaval, Russia has sent troops over the Bering Strait. The soldiers have to navigate using the stars, and they can only walk, take a simple boat, or travel on horseback.

Welcome back to the 1800s, and a cold war that’s gotten rather hot indeed.

Characters

The characters are Carly Marshall (she’s the POV character); her younger brother Travis; the Russian Commander, Colonel Petroff; and Russian soldier, Vladislav Perchak. Vlad is a translator, and he speaks decent English.

There are a few other soldiers, and Travis and Carly refer to their parents. But we never see the parents, and I don’t give the other soldiers any names and only a few lines.

Memorable Quotes {Carly and Travis are figuring out what to do with a prisoner}

“And then we’ll all sing Kumbaya as the sun sinks slowly in the west and a bunch of rabbits kick in a chorus line.”

Yep, you’re a jackass more often than only sometimes. “You got a better idea?”

Travis was quiet for a few seconds. “Y’know, I don’t. So, when do you want to break it to him?”

“No time like the present.”

“If we end up with a rabbit kick line, I will be seriously bummed if there isn’t at least one of them that looks like Jessica Rabbit.”

“Travis, you’d be lucky if any of them look like Bugs Bunny in drag.”

Rating

The story has a K+ rating. There’s some language, and Carly’s a bit worried about what the soldiers will possibly do to her.

Takeaways

I really like the premise of this one and would have liked to have expanded it some more. And maybe I will someday. At the time, I really just wanted to be done with it. Hmm.

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Let’s Look at Handle

The fun part about Handle is that, unless you were alive in the 1970s in the United States, the idea that this was so important will seem kind of weird. So, what am I talking about?

Why, CB radios, of course!

I wrote this story during the third quarter of 2021.

Handle This Background with Care

I was a kid/teenager in the 1970s, and I did not turn eighteen until late in 1980. In 1973, when the first of the oil shocks happened, long haul truckers started to really use CB radios as a means of warning each other of speed traps or the like.

At my age at the time, it seemed like a truly nifty idea. Of course now, it’s just quaint. But then? The idea of being able to be in touch without being tethered to a place? It was irresistible.

And so, you’ve got to figure that this is a part of why cellphones caught on so quickly, and so ubiquitously.

Plot

With no real plot to speak of, this one is much more of a slice of life than anything else. If you were around the United States during that time in history, it may feel somewhat nostalgic. Otherwise, you may be wondering what, exactly, was the point.

Characters in Handle

The characters are Sandcastle and Fast Eddie.

Memorable Quotes

“Break, break, this is Sandcastle your front door, over.”

“Four, this is Fast Eddie, your back door here. Got a Smokey in the rearview in a gumball machine, over.”

“Copy that. Bear in the air by exit twelve, over.”

“Big bear party looks like. They got a customer, a Buster Brown. Best bet is to leave the slab at exit eleven and head straight for the balcony, over.”

“Copy that. Look out for baby bears on bikes, over.”

“Bikes? Your tax dollars at work, boys and girls, over.”

And now that same conversation, but in English this time:

“Hello, this is Sandcastle, driver of the leading vehicle in a group that watches for police officers approaching from the front or for speed traps on the side of the road.”

“Understood, this is Fast Eddie, the rearmost vehicle driver in the group. Got a police officer behind me with his lights flashing.”

“Understood. There’s a police helicopter in the air by exit twelve.”

“Looks like there’s lots of police. They’ve pulled over a UPS truck. Your best bet to avoid them is to get off the highway at exit eleven and drive on the service road instead.”

“Understood. Look out for rookie officers on bikes.”

“Bikes? Your tax dollars at work, everyone.”

Rating

The story has a K rating.

Takeaways for Handle

There really isn’t a lot to take away from this one. And it is not even short enough to just trim off a bit and call it a drabble! So, ewps on that, I suppose.

But one thing I do like is that I used the name Fast Eddie, which denotes not only fast driving, but also the fictional character Fast Eddie Felson. Felson is from The Hustler and The Color of Money.

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A Review of That’s Alien Entertainment!

I love the title for That’s Alien Entertainment! But I have written similar stories, including Miss Milky Way, which is a longer and more complete tale. Another such story is A Show for the Galaxy which is short, but still more complete than this one.

I wrote this story during the first quarter of 2021. The prompt word was understanding.

Alien Entertainment: Some Background

Given the prompt word, my idea was about a number of misunderstandings. At the same time, I wanted a story about entertaining aliens for some reason or another. I had already written Miss Milky Way, but I wanted this one to be a lot more hopeful.

Since I don’t go into the stakes, it’s possible that this show is simply for the sake of entertaining aliens, versus trying to save our species and our planet.

Plot

An enormous, multilingual and multicultural film shoot is threatened by a translator not working. As the director scrambles to make up for lost time—and not lose too much more money—they have to rely on everyone’s intuition and common sense.

And both of those are in short supply.

Characters

The characters are the director (the narrator) and the sweeping multilingual, multicultural cast for an unnamed production..

Memorable Quotes

Iceland is gorgeous. There’s no wonder why everyone wanted to film here, myself included.

Even with no working translator, we are still doing pretty well. Romance is, after all, romance. Kisses, moonlight, flowers—all of that.

This shoot is the weirdest, wackiest one I have ever been on. If it were but two languages, then someone could be found to act as a go-between. Or maybe a few people. I know Spanish, you know Spanish and Dutch, your Dutch pal knows Arabic or whatever.

But instead, we have people from every single country on Earth. A romance was chosen by popular acclaim. After all, horror would not get the right point across. And science fiction might offend our alien audience.

Rating for That’s Alien Entertainment!

The story has a K rating. While the narrator refers to giving a difficult diva a rather earthy gesture, I never mention it by name or show it. But grownup readers will know exactly what I mean.

And, let’s face it, so will just about any kids reading this piece.

Takeaways

There are definitely places where I could improve this one. But my main question is, as always, is it really worth it?

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Let’s Look at Glad All Over the Galaxy

The title for Glad All Over the Galaxy comes from the old Dave Clark Five hit: Glad All Over.

I wrote this story during the third quarter of 2021. The prompt word was jollity.

Background for Glad All Over the Galaxy

Because I was writing every single day in 2021, sometimes the stories (such as they are) are kind of thin. This is definitely one of those.

The essential premise is looking a kind of alien gift horse in the mouth, as it were.

Plot

A narrator who has probably suffered from clinical depression for most if not all of their life is suddenly happy. There’s just ‘something in the air’. That’s it. There is no other explanation.

But there is a hint of menace behind the narrator’s sudden change of heart. And when they refer to lights in the sky, it becomes abundantly clear: whatever is making them giddy was put there deliberately by actors from outside the earth.

Are they bad actors? I never actually say. As a result, the reader can use their imagination.

Characters

The characters are the unnamed narrator and certain people he or she refers to, including an ex with male pronouns.

Memorable Quotes

I’ve never been happy.

I’ve been… okay.

But never giddy, never pleased, and never contented.

Until now.

It’s the wackiest thing.

And it’s all due to the stuff in the air.

I don’t know who put it there, but I don’t care about that.

Nothing matters but this feeling.

Rating

The story has a K rating.

Takeaways for Glad All Over the Galaxy

Somewhat like with the far superior Killing Us Softly, I wanted to give an invasion a weird angle, and kind of turn it on its head. What if an alien species started to, quite literally, kill us with kindness?

So, I love the premise here, and I will most likely find some other place for it. I feel it’s just too good an idea to just let it sink into obscurity.

Or I could do my best to clip off eighteen words, and query it as a drabble. I don’t know just yet.

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Let’s Look at Art Has All Sorts of Effects

The idea behind Art Has All Sorts of Effects was exceptionally random. And it probably can’t really happen in real life.

But I really love the idea that aliens are truly different from us. And from that, the idea that something utterly unexpected would get people high just devolved naturally.

I wrote this story during the second quarter of 2021. The prompt word was freaking.

Background

This story came about from an odd thought experiment. What if the act of painting (and perhaps art in general) could be a means for aliens to get high?

This strange idea led me to thinking about aliens in a human high school.

Plot for Art Has All Sorts of Effects

Bird knows it’s forbidden. Their parents are going to be furious! But they’re going ahead anyway. They are going to make art and see how it affects them.

Characters

The characters are Bird Ruzanti, Mrs. Mariel Graf, and Mr. Burke. Graf and Burke are teachers at Bird’s school. Just like in Alien Allies and The New Kid, Bird’s name is something which the translation program assigns.

Memorable Quotes from Art Has All Sorts of Effects

I started freaking when I was fourteen years old in human years. It’s really weird, and nobody knows why us Ruzanti get it. Humans sure as hell don’t.

Of course, my four parents were disappointed and upset. They contacted the school, demanding to know what the principal was going to do about it.

In particular, they wanted her to pressure the superintendent to just out and out cancel every single art class in the district.

But she told them—Look, I have no idea how this happened, but you can’t blame the school without proof of a closer and firmer connection than just some feeling or another.

So, my parents backed off.

And I would sneak out when I could. Forbidden fruit, you know?

Rating

The story has a K rating.

Takeaways

I think this is one that has a decent idea, but it suffers from somewhat poor execution. Of course, I could change this, and perhaps I should.

But I don’t show how Bird gets high or how they know they are. And I also never actually describe the Ruzanti!

So, as a result, I think I can file this one under Swing and a miss.

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Short Stories

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