Self-Review – The Great Cleanup

Let’s Look at The Great Cleanup

Because I was writing every day in 2021, sometimes I had to reach back to what is almost bible fan fiction. The Great Cleanup is one such story, as is The Field Gleaner.

I wrote this story during the first quarter of 2021. The prompt was the word innocents.

Background

One thing that should trouble any student of the Hebrew tanakh (the so-called ‘Old Testament’) is that when the Genesis flood comes, it doesn’t spare obvious innocents, such as infants.

With this idea in mind, I decided someone would have had to have protested, in some manner.

Plot

As the flood waters recede, Noah’s sons and daughters-in-law notice, to their horror, that the land is littered with corpses. Men, women, children, domestic and wild animals—you name it.

As Japheth’s wife (the narrator) looks at the sea of dead faces, she sees small babies and children. And she starts to wonder about how they ever could have been wicked enough to deserve such an all-encompassing, final punishment.

When she and the other daughters-in-law start to bury the many corpses, Noah declares these necessary tasks to be ‘women’s work’. He’s too busy drinking heavily (which is biblically canon).

While the three sons of Noah do not object to this characterization of the work, they also, apparently, quietly help out by burying the dead overnight while Noah is sleeping it off.

Then they meet other people, and she asks about the ages of the children she sees. When the numbers don’t add up, she realizes her family aren’t the only survivors. And when Noah offers ever-increasingly outlandish explanations for why this is so, it confirms that she’s right.

When she asks one last question, Noah finally slaps her. She and Japheth agree to move their family away from Noah, his ‘facts’ that don’t make any sense, and his inebriated tyranny.

Characters

The characters are Japheth’s wife (in the Jubilees, her name is Adataneses), Japheth, Ham and his wife (her name is Na’eltama’uk), Shem and his wife (her name is Sedeqetelebab), and Noah and his wife (her name is Emzara).

Plus, there are some other people, but I do not name them.

The Book of Jubilees is canon to the Ethiopian Orthodox Church as well as Beta Israel.

But the book isn’t considered to be canonical in any mainstream Jewish theology or sect. So, your mileage may vary. Since I don’t name the women, it kind of doesn’t matter to the overall point of the story.

Memorable Quotes from The Great Cleanup

Now that the great flood is over, and the ground is more or less dry, I have gotten to wondering about the ones who were left behind. We got into the ark, we took whichever animals and plants we could, and the floodwaters carried us for more than a month. Thank the Lord for Japheth. He’s proven to be a wonderful companion. I’m not so sure Ham’s wife feels the same way. I’ve heard them quarreling at times.

When the ark was first lifted by the floodwaters, there was screaming outside, and I heard pounding. My father-in-law, Noah, he said to ignore them. He said they were all wicked, chosen to die for their sins. He said it was God’s righteous judgment.

But I cannot believe that this is so. I have never confided this nagging feeling to anyone before, and I suspect I will take it to my grave. But I know there were newborn babes, foals and calves and others. They must have been innocent. And so, I believe there may have been others.

The judgment, it would appear, was not so righteous after all.

Rating

The story has a K rating.

Takeaways from The Great Cleanup

A biblical flood story is the ultimate disaster epic for Iron Age people. It’s also easier to claim the ones who are lost didn’t deserve to live. But a closer look shows the seams in such a narrative.

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Want More of my Short Stories and Novellas?

If this story resonates with you, then check out some of my other blog posts about my shorter works.

Short Stories

Finally, for a complete list of my shorter works, please be sure to check out the Hub Page—Short Stories.