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Month: December 2023

Writing Progress Report – Fourth Quarter 2023

Progress Report – Fourth Quarter 2023

How was fourth quarter 2023 for writing? So I spent fourth quarter 2023 planning for, writing, and recovering from the crown jewel of the year, NaNoWriMo! So, it was great fun…

Fourth Quarter 2023 Posted Works

First of all, I worked on a few new short stories I’d been writing all year. A lot of these had been drafted on paper and so I spent some time editing them.

Then on Wattpad I posted on the WattNaNo profile, and nowhere else.

Milestones

Also, I have written over 3.5 million words (fan fiction and wholly original fiction combined). So right now my stats on Wattpad for wholly original works are as follows:

  • Dinosaurs – 42+ reads, 11+ comments
  • How to NaNoWriMo – 26,183+ reads, 340+ comments
  • My Favorite Things (like kibble) – 988 reads, 133 comments
  • Revved Up – 59,478+ reads, 531+ comments
  • Side By Side – 21 reads, 2 comments
  • Social Media Guide for Wattpad – 16,408+ reads, 592+ comments
  • The Canadian Caper – 509 reads, 37 comments
  • The Dish – 250 reads, 24 comments
  • There is a Road – 189 reads, 28 comments

Published Works as of Fourth Quarter 2023

Also, I am amassing quite the collection of published works!

So, here’s everything that has found a home so far.

Untrustworthy, which is my first published novel. So yay!

A True Believer in Skepticism, published in Mythic MagazineAlmost Shipwrecked, a story in the January 2019 edition of Empyreome.

Canaries, a short story in the March 29, 2019, edition of Theme of AbsenceComplications, a story in the Queer Sci Fi Discovery anthology. So this is an anthology where the proceeds went to supporting the QSF website.

Cynthia and Wilder Bloom, stories in the Longest Night Watch II anthology.

Props, a story in the Longest Night Watch I anthology. So this is an anthology where the proceeds go to Alzheimer’s research.

Surprises, a story in Book One of the 42 and Beyond Anthology set.

The Boy in the Band, a story in the Pride Park anthology. So this is an anthology where the proceeds go to the Trevor Project.

The Interview, the featured story in the December 14, 2018 edition of Theme of Absence. So they even interviewed me!

The Last Patient, a story in the Stardust, Always anthology. This was an anthology where the proceeds go to cancer research.

The Resurrection of Ditte, a story in the Unrealpolitik anthology.

This is My Child, a short story published in the April 8, 2019 edition of Asymmetry FictionThree Minutes Back in Time, a short story published in Mythic Magazine.

Killing Us Softly, a short story published in Corner Bar Magazine. And Darkness into Light, a short story also published in Corner Bar Magazine.

WIP Corner

So my current WIPs are as follows:

The Obolonk Murders Trilogy – so this one is all about a tripartite society. But who’s killing the aliens?

The Enigman Cave – can we find life on another planet and not screw it up? You know, like we do everything else?

The Real Hub of the Universe Trilogy – so the aliens who live among us in the 1870s and 1880s are at war. But why is that?

Mettle – so it’s all about how society goes to hell in a hand basket when the metals of the periodic table start to disappear. But then what?

Time Addicts – No One is Safe – so this one is all about what happens in the future when time travel becomes possible via narcotic.

Time Addicts – Nothing is Permanent – this is the second in this trilogy. What happens when time is tampered with and manipulated in all sorts of ways? It’s the ultimate in gaslighting, for one thing.

Time Addicts – Everything is Up For Grabs – as the timelines smack together and continue to diverge, it gets harder to tell the “real” timeline from all the newer fake ones. And what if some of the changes are for the better?

Prep Work

So currently, my intention, for 2025’s NaNoWriMo, is to write the third trilogy in the Time Addicts/Obolonks universe. But I need to iron out the plot! So a lot of this year has been spent on that. I have no name for this one yet.

For 2022 – 2024 NaNoWriMo, I have decided to create a prequel for each of the 5 main universes: Real Hub of the Universe, Obolonks, Time Addicts (while the Obolonks and Time Addicts are in the same universe, I just plain want to write two separate prequels!), Untrustworthy, The Enigman Cave, and Mettle.

In 2022, I wrote the prequels for Time Addicts and The Real Hub of the Universe. For 2023, it’s the Untrustworthy prequel and the prequel to the Obolonks (first trilogy).

So, I anticipate a lot of fun and perhaps a little confusion. But it’s all good!

Fourth Quarter 2023 Queries and Submissions

The older ones have moved. You can find them on my Publishing Stats page.

It’s been quiet. But that has been by design. Right now, I just plain don’t feel like putting myself out there these days. There, I said it.

In Progress

As of fourth quarter 2023, the following are technically still in the running for publishing:

This list is the name of the story and then the name of the potential publisher.

  • I Used to Be Happy – Gemini Magazine
  • Justice – Adbusters
  • Mettle – RAB
  • Soul Rentals ‘R’ Us – A Thousand One Stories
  • Who Do We Blame for This? – Sonder Review

Fourth Quarter 2023 – Productivity Killers

So it’s looking for work, what else? I am working on a ton of things and since that is also writing, it can sometimes burn me out. Because fourth quarter 2023 will not be the end of that!


If my works resonate with you, check out my other articles about my progress:

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Character Review — Rachel Gifford

Consider Rachel Gifford, One of My Original Characters

So, who is Rachel Gifford?

The exceptionally wealthy head of one of the biggest robotics companies in the Solar System, Rachel’s got … issues. For one, she’s horribly prejudiced against the relatively newcomer aliens in society, the Obolonks. But she is also running a company which she has no real business (heh) doing so. She’s not a leader. Yet she is thrust into a leadership role all the same.

Her own personal dissatisfaction stems from a number of things (see below), and a lot are of her own making. Yet, being the speciesist that she is, she pins a lot of her troubles on the orange folks who are not human.

You would think that her wealth would isolate her. But money can’t buy her solutions, not really—she wants action.

Where Did Rachel Gifford Come From?

In order to get anywhere, the antagonist had to have access to money. A lot of money, like ridiculous peak Michael Jackson or Tom Cruise or Oprah Winfrey wealth. Money where you can buy a private island or three, if you like.

I also needed a motive for them. Enter Rachel.

The Past is Prologue — Backstory for Rachel Gifford

Just before and during the events of the first Obolonk trilogy, Rachel’s mother, Camille Gifford, starts to exhibit the signs of Lewy Body dementia. I chose this diagnosis after Robin Williams’s suicide and the revelation that he had it. But it also serves a rather specific purpose.

Why? Because it’s a disease with delusions and paranoia, manifesting at the start of its progression. It’s also inheritable.

But back to Camille and Rachel. Rachel’s really just an engineer. But she gets thrust into Camille’s role—CEO—without enough preparation. And with very little desire to be in that role in the first place.

At the same time, she starts to become a victim of cyberbullying. Rachel puts all of this together and to her it spells an attack by Obolonks. With this kind of fuel for her prejudice—which isn’t exactly uncommon during this time period—she decides that the Obolonk people as a whole need to leave, and collectively pay the price for, well, being mean to her, more than anything else.

Do motives have to be highfaluting and complex? Do they need to be proportional to a villain’s reactions and plans?

Of course not.

Description

Mousy and slender, Rachel is a wealthy woman and an engineer/CEO. But she’s still not much for public speaking or the like. So, essentially, she’s the kind of woman in a twinset, sensible flats, and a gray tweed skirt who you might find at a meeting of the Junior League. She’s also someone who can quickly write a check if she decides to endow a hospital wing or college dormitory.

I don’t have an actress analog for her look. But I figure that’s all right. After all, even Nicole Kidman can get a mousy look with the right makeup, posture, lines, and gestures.

So can Jamie Lee Curtis.

Given that Rachel is in her fifties or early sixties, I would be looking for an actress more or less within their age range if I really wanted to discover an analog.

Purpose/Theme/Motivation

In The Obolonk Murders, anti-Obolonk prejudice is widespread enough that Rachel can find plenty of people who are simpatico with her. She is, in some ways, like the equally (if not more) prejudiced Robin McKenna of Time Addicts.

But one of the main differences is that Robin needs someone to bankroll her scheme—Corwin Zachary. But Rachel is wealthy enough that she can run that part of the show all by herself.

Quotes {Peri, Tommy, Lester Norris, and Luke Brody Question Rachel}

“Okay, we’re recording. State your full name for the record.”

“My name is Rachel Elizabeth Gifford.”

“What do you do for a living?”

“I’m the Chief Engineer at Polychron Enterprises. We make robots.”

“Tell us what happened from the beginning,” Norris said.

“A few years ago, every time I got on the grid, I was attacked in cyberspace. It was the worst sorts of flaming and trolling, insulting and cyber bullying.”

“Can you give us specifics?” asked Brody.

“I was called incompetent. They claimed I’d never had an original idea. The same old accusations of stealing technology and blueprints from Perfect Carol, Ltd. resurfaced. Only this time, with new twists.”

“Such as?” asked Tommy.

“They claimed to have intimate knowledge of my mother, Camille Gifford, CEO of the company.”

“What kind of knowledge?” the robot persisted.

“It was about what she was like in bed, if you must know.”

“Oh,” Tommy said softly.

“That was their first mistake. It’s how they made it clear they were orange freaks.”

“Got it,” Luke said. “So, it was about a supposed sexual relationship with an Obolonk?”

“Yes.” Gifford looked down. “My mother, until a few months ago, before she got really sick, was an avid hiker.”

“Sick?” asked Peri.

“Yes, Dorothy. You’ve been underground for a while. The Solar System keeps on spinning, even without you there to watch it,” Gifford cracked.

“Wait—why’d you call her Dorothy?” Luke asked.

Relationships

Rachel Gifford mainly keeps to herself, the poor little rich girl that she is. But she still has some relationships.

Rachel and Camille

Because I see Camille as being the kind of CEO who kept everything close to the vest and wrote nearly nothing down, I see Rachel as resenting this aspect of her mother’s pre-dementia personality. Rachel, understandably, is resentful of Camille’s utter lack of planning for a succession. Even without her diagnosis, Camille was not going to live forever.

But a lot of people do act that way, so I wanted Camille to be like that. And, as a result, Rachel is left holding the bag. And she doesn’t enjoy that one bit.

At the same time, though, Rachel makes no moves to assure her own succession, or to hire someone to help her or become the CEO instead of her. The truth is, a lot of Rachel’s issues are real and they would be problematic to just about anyone. But others are her own damned fault.

Rachel and Ted

Rachel’s not exactly looking for love, or at least some sort of a connection. And, with her wealth, she’d be cautious about a lot of people. But the Reverend Theodore Moore is basically the Jimmy Swaggart of the story. And so, with money coming out of his ears, Ted isn’t a threat to Rachel’s fortune.

It also helps that they bond over their mutual prejudice against Obolonks.

Conflict and Turning Point

Much like in the rest of the story, Rachel’s turning point comes during the characters’ time on Sedna. When her identity and scheme are discovered, she fights back. But Rachel fights dirty.

Continuity/Easter Eggs

She has no continuity with other stories and, if I recall correctly, I don’t mention her in the Time Addicts trilogy. In addition, she is not a part of the prequels to either the Obolonk trilogy or Time Addicts. So, no pun intended, she is a bit unmoored.

Future Plans

Since she did not show up during the Obolonk prequel, I am at a loss as to where I could put her again. And a character like her—resentful of having to be the adult in the room, spoiled, and with a superiority complex—would likely be a lot of fun to really get into writing. Imagine her point of view!

Rachel Gifford: Takeaways

So, what I truly love about this character is that she doesn’t look like she could do anything worse to anyone beyond blackballing them at the local country club. But underestimating Rachel is a very bad idea.

Rachel Gifford — because sometimes it really is the quiet ones.


Want More of Rachel Gifford and the Rest of the Obolonk Universe?

If the story of the Obolonks resonates with you, then check out my other articles about how our society turns tripartite, with humans, robots, and Obolonks.

Character Reviews: The Obolonk Murders

Humans

Robots

Obolonks

Character Reviews: Time Addicts

The Good Guys

The Bad Guys

The Obolonk Universe

Self-Reviews: Obolonk Trilogy

Self-Reviews: Time Addicts Trilogy

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Hot or Cold, Rough or Smooth, Hard or Soft—Tactile Cues in Writing

So, is your book running hot or cold?

Hot or Cold and Other Touch Cues

Touch is a somewhat complex sense because it can evoke temperature, pressure, and our experience of surfaces—often at the same time.

Your readers are already feeling your book in their hands or on their Kindle or phone, or feeling their computer thrum if they’re reading on a laptop or a desktop.

But how do you get them to feel what your characters are truly feeling?

Let’s start by breaking down tactile cues into a few separate categories.

Hot or Cold is Only the Beginning When it Comes to Touch

No doubt I will miss something or other. But let’s look at what I’ve got, okay? And if I think of something else, I can always update this post.

Touch can also be referred to as haptic feedback or kinesthetics.

Temperature

So, this is probably the easiest area to talk about because we all understand it intuitively. Every person has been hot or cold at some time in their life. Even if you live in the tropics, you may feel cold at night—and cold is a relative feeling (as is heat).

That is, you ever notice how, at the end of winter, 50 degrees Fahrenheit or so feels warm? But at the end of the summer, that same temperature can make you shiver. It’s just a relative feeling. You get used to feeling one way or the other.

In my work, the character who easily feels the coldest is Peri Martin. But no wonder, as she ends up on Sedna! The folks in Mettle also feel a lot of cold.

Ceilidh tends to feel more heat, but that’s because it’s the Victorian era and she constantly has to wear all these layers, no matter the weather. The heat even makes her faint.

Pressure

While it’s not as varied or parsed as temperature, there are different types of pressures we feel. Consider the obvious one of holding weight. But there’s also sinus pressure. And, technically, there’s also the pressure of deadlines or the like. We can often get a rather visceral reaction to stress.

Who has the most pressure on them in my works? Probably Marnie Shapiro, who has to conduct a First Contact mission while the Earth government collapses into tyranny back home.

Pain, Itching, and Other Medical Feelings

Ouch! There’s the sting of a slap, labor, touching a hot stove, phantom limb pain, and more. And good lord, don’t get me started on mosquitoes, the singular most dangerous animal to humans on the planet. Yep, they even beat out hippos. Nasty little buggers!

Nausea and acid reflux are certainly medical feelings although nausea can often be associated with smell or taste (er, sorry!) as well.

My character with the most sickness (particularly nausea) is Josie James, hands down. She gets it so often that she’s even fetishized the cleanup.

Skin, Sex, Friction, Fondling, Kisses, and Kink

Ooh la la! Well, I am not going to go into too much excruciating detail here. But keep in mind that sensual touch can take many forms. There are sweaty palms during hand holding and the thrill or fear of almost being caught during various stages of the act. And of course there’s kink, whether it’s wearing leather or the like or inflicting pain or humiliating someone.

Marnie and Lex, and Dave and Peri all have rollicking sex lives. Tathrelle and Ixalla are also very touching and affectionate with one another.  But there’s a certain point where explicit can get too explicit, and I’ve tried not to cross it. Even harder core stuff should have some sort of a limit, I feel.

Surfaces

There’s something about walking in wet grass in the summertime. But there’s also the feeling of running your hand along a wooden surface—and getting a splinter.

Probably the most surface feeling happens in Mettle, where elements change and transmute whatever they are made of.

Hot or Cold Takeaways

Tactile sensations such as hot or cold can almost become a species of character if they are vital to the plot. A pebble in your shoe can sideline you in a way that a gunshot wound does not. Too much cold means characters have to address the matter, whether it’s to wear more clothes, get inside, or build a fire.

Just… try to stay away from weather reports unless you really need them to drive the action.

How does your prose feel to the touch?

Want More of Using Hot or Cold or Other Tactile Cues and Other Background to Evoke the Senses in Writing?

If the idea of leveraging hot or cold or other tactile cues in your writing resonates with you, then check out my other articles about using sense cues.

Sense Cues:

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Disgusting vs Delicious—Taste Cues in Writing

Are the tastes in your prose disgusting or delicious? It does matter, you know.

Tastes: Disgusting vs Delicious or In Between?

As writers, we may sometimes forget to add any sense cues beyond vision and sound. But there’s more to life than just those two. How much of the tastes of things do you put into your prose?

So, let’s look at adding tastes to your prose.

Food, Glorious Food!

It’s pretty much a cliché, but the bottom line is, if you’re struggling to meet word count during NaNoWriMo, one of the easiest ways you can do that is to sit your characters down for some food.

Disgusting vs Delicious Main Courses

I know that I have Ceilidh do a lot of cooking, and some of that was, yes, to meet word count. But it’s also because it’s a large part of her job. She originally gets a job at the Edwards House because she washes dishes and doesn’t break anything. But to get a job at the Lowell House, she makes the master of the house an omelet.

And the truth is, that’s kind of an odd thing to make for anything other than breakfast in the 1870s. However, I know I will need to edit out a lot of her cookery.

In The Enigman Cave, the crew eat from farms on board, including goats, fish, and chicken. But the Enigmans on the surface eat fern fronds. A big part of first contact is sharing food.

On the other hand, not everyone is such a good cook. In the Time Addicts prequel, the kids joke that their mother has burned soup. This is taken from real life—my mother actually left a pot of soup on the stove for too long, the water evaporated and, long story short, she burned the soup.

But there are also foods which we may find disgusting.

In Mettle, the food becomes hit or miss very quickly. Characters are eventually grateful to share a meal of squirrel. But before that, as a part of the foreshadowing, every character wastes food in some way or another.

If the story had gone on any longer, the characters would have ended up dining on rats.

Sides, Appetizers, and Snacks

Josie eats nearly nothing for breakfast, and her suppers are almost as parsimonious. But her lunches are huge, and they include everything from soup to salad to whatever appetizer works, like Crab Rangoon or jalapeño poppers. She likes to eat—she just doesn’t like being sick.

Dessert!

Whether it’s stale candy bars pilfered from Kitty’s locker, or a cake for Marnie‘s birthday, or tangerines smuggled to Peri, characters have sweet tooths. But then again, so do I.

Protein Pills and Other Oddities

The Cabossians in Untrustworthy don’t eat the same kinds of foods that we do. They subsist off manufactured nutritional supplements and wild herbs which grow along the banks of the Central River.

For spaceships like the Valentina Tereshkova or the Orlando, the last thing I wanted was to have them eating weird cubes or getting injections instead of meals. Eating is, after all, one of the great pleasures of life. It would be a shame for us, as a species, to realize we never wanted to eat normally again.

Diets and Religious Restrictions

Because Josie’s sister Hayley is modern Orthodox, she keeps a strictly kosher home. This means she won’t always eat at her siblings’ homes. It also means she’s a lot less likely to go out for a meal unless she knows for certain that a restaurant keeps kosher properly.

In The Enigman Cave, Jazzie puts Marnie on a diet—and Marnie hates it.

Drink

It’s a big part of Untrustworthy for characters to go to taverns. But they don’t drink what we drink. Rather, their drink of choice is fermented Aromossian oil. No, I don’t know what it tastes like, either. Yet tellingly, it’s not the vagrants getting drunk—it’s the so-called ‘respectable Cabossians’.

As the events of Mettle go on, characters take to drinking a lot of tea to try to stay warm. But this is not before a vat of coffee is made outdoors, in an enormous pot, with no filter for the grounds… and the occasional leaf.

During the Time Addicts prequel, Drusilla and Kent share a bottle of wine, but that happens off-camera, as it were.

And in the first Obolonk trilogy, Peri and Dave go to a number of swanky restaurants, and that often means wine or even Champagne with their meals.

Legal and Illegal Drugs

While Josie is sick, she isn’t on any sorts of medications. But in Mettle, Dez is a pot dealer—and he’s not above taking the medical marijuana that belongs to Mink’s Aunt Doreen. Marnie is treated for knee problems, but those are injections and not swallowed.

Disgusting vs Delicious Takeaways

Not all of your characters have to eat. In fact, you can go through an entire NaNo-sized novel without feeding any of them.

But eating scenes are relatable and easy to put together. And, if you’re pressed to meet word count, they are life savers!

How good does your prose taste?

Want More of Using Disgusting vs Delicious Tastes and Other Background to Evoke the Senses in Writing?

If the idea of leveraging disgusting vs delicious tastes in your writing resonates with you, then check out my other articles about using sense cues.

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Mixing a Score in Words and Music—Sound Cues in Writing

Let’s consider words and music in writing.

Sound and Fury, Full of Words and Music, Signifying, Well, What, Exactly?

Of course, our books are full of words! Otherwise, they would be picture books. And not very good picture books, to boot! Because even picture books for the newest reader will have some sort of verbiage in them.

Words and What They Do In Your Writing

I have blogged a lot about writing, including descriptive prose, etc. But I haven’t really gotten into word choice and other aspects of the very instrument we use to create books—the words themselves.

Words and Culture

How do your characters talk? Not so much what they say. But how do they say it?

Josie comes from a big Jewish family. Her sister Hayley is the most Orthodox of her siblings. So, she might lapse into Yiddish at times. Or Hebrew, because Hayley lives in what was once Tel Aviv.

Ceilidh is Irish through and through. So, when she meets Barry Marsh, he talks to her a bit in Gaelic.

In The Enigman Cave, Trixie is from London, Kentucky, whereas Jazminder is from Leeds, England. They have different expressions, different slang, and different ways of expressing everything from fear to disgust to taking a stand.

In Mettle, all the characters have potty mouths. It’s practically a requirement. In fact (by design), the first word anyone utters is an f-bomb.

The characters in Untrustworthy don’t really use contractions. As a result, reviewers have said their speech seems stilted. But that’s by design.

In the Obolonk universe, certain terms change over time. Peri might say dollars to doughnuts, whereas Josie would say mercs to doughnuts, because dollars no longer exist, and the Solar System’s unit of currency is the mercury. The phrase loses its alliteration. So, maybe I’ll change to something like mercs to muffins, so it can get its alliteration back.

In all of my works, intelligent people tend to use longer words and discuss more complex concepts.

Political Correctness or Its Lack

Not all of the talking is words of affection or pleasantries. Sometimes, there’s a sting in there.

Peri and her pal Greg trade witticisms and ironic pet names, including mook, which basically means an idiot.

In Mettle, Elise refers to Noah as a genius most of the time, and it’s often to put him in his place and remind him that he’s not the only smart person in the room. Kitty in particular is mean and definitely not PC in her insults, often using the R-word and her one use of the N-word is cut off mid-syllable.

Sweet Music in Your Works

Characters might hum or belt out show tunes. Music is important to a lot of people. For youth, it’s often a means of expression. Don’t leave it out of your storylines!

Soundtracks to Your Prose AKA YouTube is Your Friend

You will need to keep copyright in mind. Lyrics are subject to copyright. But common turns of phrase aren’t. In Respect, when Aretha Franklin sings about giving her her ‘propers’ when she gets home, there is nothing that her estate can copyright in that one word or even in that short phrase. It would be a lot like trying to copyright the letter B.

But too much wholesale copying will get you into hot water. So, if you’re thinking of starting each chapter with a stanza from a pop song, think again.

But don’t despair. There is nothing wrong with creating a playlist (like a soundtrack) for your prose. I have, and I highly recommend it. Not just to help your readers get into the storyline, but for you to get into it. During Novembers in particular, I tend to listen to at least one applicable playlist song before I start to write for the day. It gets me going!

Without further ado, here are my playlists.

Untrustworthy

The truth is that this story really just has one song. It was everywhere when I was writing the book, and parallels a lot of the action. How much was I influenced? How much of this was by design? Even I don’t know anymore.

The song? It’s Bastille’s Pompeii. It’s the only soundtrack for the prequel as well.

The Enigman Cave

I didn’t put a lot into this playlist, but I wanted to give some tunes over to Marnie’s conflicted feelings and problems. I probably won’t create a separate one for the prequel.

The Obolonk Universe

The playlist for the first Obolonks trilogy is loaded with songs either connecting to Boston or about machines or the like. I even have a playlist for its prequel, which is dominated by songs about breaking up and making up.

Time Addicts

For this story about the abuse of time travel, all the songs in the playlist are about time or are about units of time (days, etc.).

Since I wrote the prequels for both Time Addicts and Real Hub for the same NaNo, they ended up on the same playlist. The dividing line is, of course, Black 47’s Funky Ceili.

Words and Music in the Third Obolonk Trilogy

This trilogy is still in a very amorphous state (which is why I’m writing prequels these days—I need to work out the plot better), and so is the playlist.

The Real Hub of the Universe

To evoke Ceilidh’s roots, the playlist for this trilogy is dominated by Irish songs.

Words and Music in Mettle

The playlist for Mettle is all songs by groups related in some way to Boston or at least Massachusetts. A lot of these songs are directly related to chapters (although I may end up rearranging some of them). The prequel works with the same playlist.

Takeaways for Your Choices of Words and Music in Your Books

Words and music can give your stories window dressing. They can set a mood and they can subtly indicate class, education, intellect, status, and more. Now go add a few earworms to your works!

Which sounds are ringing through your prose? What’s the soundtrack to your story?

Want More of Using Words and Music and Other Background to Evoke the Senses in Writing?

If the idea of leveraging words and music in your writing resonates with you, then check out my other articles about using sense cues.

Sense Cues:

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Aroma vs Odor or Stench—Olfactory Cues in Writing

Well, which one is it, when you’re considering aroma vs odor or stench in your writing?

How Choosing Aroma vs Odor or Stench Affects Your Writing

I can’t recall where I read this (and it may have just been in a Facebook group on writing), but using three or more senses can really get your readers into the story. It’s a lot more intimate than just sketching.

For many of us, the visuals and the sound are kinda, sorta a no-brainer. At least, we realize that we should do them. But what about smells?

Perhaps the most vital part of this is knowing that we have a few different words for smells. It’s not just aroma vs odor or stench. Don’t forget there are also bouquet, smell, scent, stink, trace, perfume, and redolence.

Even the verb form can run the gamut of a delicate whiff to an animals’ sniff to a snort. So, let’s pull your readers in, by using smells.

You know, just like bakeries and their freshly-made cakes and cookies can bring in customers.

Why and How Aroma vs Odor or Stench Can Change Readers’ Perceptions

Your readers want to get into the storyline. But they might not be ‘getting it’. So, if you add some smells, they can, potentially, become more immersed.

The Pleasant Stuff: Aromas

In the prequel to The Real Hub of the Universe, Ceilidh sees roses for the first time, in the Barnes House in Ballyvaughan. For a life spent in poverty, roses are an exceptional luxury. It’s a testament to how wealthy the Barnes family is. At the same time, the aroma is a far cry from the working people of the village (I’ll get to them in a moment).

In The Obolonk Murders, Peri jokes with Dave that he has more personal grooming products than she does. During a particularly (ahem) intimate sex act, she smells one of his products, which is redolent of the tropics.

And in Mettle, when Mink returns, she uses very expensive shampoo and conditioner, left behind by the previous tenants.

There’s also, of course, the aromas of cooking in most of my work. The chef on Marnie’s ship makes chicken soup with matzoh balls—even though the chef is an Irish Catholic.

The Middle-of-the-Road Stuff: Smells

One of my favorite conceits in the Obolonk universe is that terraforming operations give off an odor that people want to mask. As a result, the orbs have their own signature smells. Venus, for example, smells like pineapple. These aren’t always the greatest smells (there’s an orb that smells like a fireplace). But, for the most part, it’s a pleasant experience.

It’s also an easy way to tell which orb you’re on.

The Icky Stuff: Stenches

In Ceilidh’s world, people quite simply don’t bathe as often as we do these days. And, when they do, her fellow villagers bathe in the deepest part of the Ballyvaughan creek. But in between occasions to go to the creek, the people work hard and they wear wool or flax for the most part.

In short, they’ve probably got a lot of body odor. This doesn’t get any better when she gets on a ship. There’s rotting fish, and of course it reeks.

And for Josie, a lot of the smells of cooking can make her gag, particularly in the morning. So, we might not be bothered by the smell of slightly burned meats. For her, it’s probably going to mean a trip to the head.

No Smells at All!

And finally, the aliens in Untrustworthy don’t have much in the way of noses. So, it’s not a big deal one way or the other how things smell.

Takeaways

You can truly elevate your writing by tackling multiple senses. It can be subtle like perfume, or overpowering, like a carcass.

Our sense of smell is fleeting. And, compared to dogs, it’s weak. But it can still evoke memory, and it can add another dimension to any scene.

Which aromas are wafting through your prose?

Want More of Using Aroma vs Odor or Stench and Other Background to Evoke the Senses in Writing?

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Hairstyles and Costumes—Visual Cues in Writing

What do hairstyles and costumes really have to do with writing?

Hairstyles and Costumes and How They Can Help Your Readers Out

Now, you may very well be thinking that this kind of stuff doesn’t, truly matter. So what if a character wears shorts or jeans? How could it matter if they wear their hair down, or in a ponytail?

A lot more than you may think.

Let’s start with clothes.

Clothes Maketh the Character

When I tell you that Nell‘s clothes are often too big for her, and that the burgundy down jacket she wears is really big on her and is shedding feathers, what do you think of? How about when I tell you that Jeannie wears a Gucci blouse that’s over the top?

And these are just examples from Mettle.

But there’s really no substitute for Untrustworthy when it comes to leveraging what the characters are wearing as a plot point. In that book, the people are told what to wear. There’s no choice. It’s a mandate.

So, as Tathrelle starts to figure out something is going on, the divisions between people based on clothing get deeper and deeper. And while I didn’t intend it that way, the thugs end up wearing black.

So, let’s go from top to bottom and see what we can determine, all right?

Hats

In Mettle, people wear hats for warmth. But in The Real Hub of the Universe, people wear them for style, and to indicate class.

Ceilidh‘s original hat is just a flat little thing to wear because you can’t go outside without a hat on. But when they want her to look rich, Devon buys her a better one. And she knows things are serious with Jake when he purchases her the latest style in bonnets.

As for Jake himself, I wanted the hat which Rhett Butler wears in Gone With the Wind—a plantation owner’s hat.

Plantation Owner's Hat (for sale at Poshmark). Image is for reference purposes only.
Plantation Owner’s Hat (for sale at Poshmark). Image is for reference purposes only.

This wasn’t just because his family is wealthy, and they had owned slaves. It’s also because, frankly (heh) I didn’t like the looks of other hats of the time.

Shirts and Blouses

There’s a big difference between a low cut, tight blouse versus a boxy, nondescript garment that someone’s swimming in.

In The Enigman Cave, when they conduct first contact, Marnie doesn’t want uniforms. So, the squad get different shirts. These include a shirt worn to remember a deceased person and another to commemorate a band.

Belts and Shoes, Pants and Skirts, Dresses and Jumpsuits

Much like Ceilidh needs a hat for basic decency, men probably needed belts. And, characters will likely need to be shod somehow. And, if they aren’t, the best example I can give of that mattering is in the film Die Hard.

Essentially, if a character is barefoot, is broken glass or the like too far behind?

Whether a character wears a skirt can depend on gender, tradition (kilts), or just fashion. But if Ceilidh was to wear pants, it would most likely be for only one purpose—to hide and play at being a man if necessary.

Dresses are Ceilidh’s uniform, more or less, even when she’s not working.

But what about jumpsuits? They give off a cool sci fi vibe to a lot of people. One reason may be that they’re less fussy. Also, the wardrobe department might not have to conjure up futuristic buttons. Although they will have to repair zippers, most likely.

Undergarments

For Ceilidh, it’s corsets all the way. I had to research whether they would lace up in the front, or in the back, like for Scarlett in Gone With the Wind. Fortunately, I found that she could wear a corset with the laces in the front. Otherwise, I would have had issues with her taking it off to sleep at night while traveling by ship (and not with another woman to help her).

Peri occasionally wears a black nightie for rollicking times with Dave Shepherd. Otherwise, I don’t really delve into underwear because I generally didn’t need to.

Outerwear

Apart from Nell’s down jacket, outerwear can be stylish, warm, waterproof, or an advertisement to everyone that the wearer is wealthy. Or, it can be none of these things. A shabby jacket with holes in it says a lot about a character. When Ceilidh goes from wearing a shabby old cloak to a new pink coat which Devon buys for her, it’s a major step up in status.

Of course, there are other categories of clothing, but you get the idea, yes?

Hairstyles

There’s a difference between the bun Ceilidh wears originally, but in the prequel to Real Hub… she starts to wear her hair in a chignon. It’s a relatively similar hairstyle, except that it sits lower on the neck. In part, it’s a symbol of leaving younger and more girlish times behind and facing womanhood, ready or not.

For Marnie, a change in her attitude about herself starts to come about when she has the quartermaster touch up her dye job and give her a long-overdue haircut. But you may notice that Lex is nervous around her even before she undergoes this small makeover.

Peri’s hair is chin length, but in a flashback (so it’ll show up in the prequel), it’s long enough for a ponytail.

In Mettle, anyone with longish hair braids it, including Elise, who hasn’t done that since she was a kid. And, in part, you can gauge the passage of time with Craig’s crewcut growing out—and it comes full circle, with Jeannie going from big Texas-style hair to culturally misappropriating dreadlocks.

In Untrustworthy, Tathrelle and Ixalla wear their hair a particular way because it’s the law.

Facial Hair

While I made Jake Radford and Devon Grace clean-shaven, many men of the Victorian era had at least a moustache. Another gauge of time passing in Mettle is the appearance of beards, and then their length. Craig says of his own that he could make a fine living selling cough drops.

Hairstyles and Costumes Leads Me to Makeup

I don’t want to go too nuts with this. Ceilidh doesn’t wear makeup as that would be vulgar. Peri uses some and even jokes that Dave has more personal grooming products than she does. Marnie uses it at times.

As for Josie, it’s a display which she can control with a wave of her hand.

Ixalla and Tathrelle have never heard of it. And as for the people of Mettle, Kitty and Mink use a lot, but only at the start of the book. Otherwise, it becomes another thing to just drop as no longer being important.

Takeaways on Hairstyles and Costumes (and Makeup!)

Do your characters want to look sexy? Straightlaced? Cool? Like they belong? These basic details can clue your readers into how you see your characters—and how you want your readers to see them as well.

Hairstyles and costumes maketh the characters!

Want More of Using Hairstyles and Costumes and Other Background to Evoke the Senses in Writing?

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Set Dressing—Visual Cues in Writing

Let’s Steal from Film and Talk About Set Dressing in Writing

Er, okay, you may be thinking, sure, let’s go along with this. But just what is set dressing?

According to PluralSight,

Set dressing is a term that comes from theater and film and entails decorating a particular set with curtains and furniture, filling shelves and generally making it look real and lived-in.

So, just like you have pictures on your walls or a chair with one uneven leg, or an indoor swimming pool, film characters have those sorts of things. In any decent film in terms of budget and artistry, these things are far from random.

And we, the audience, make judgments about the characters based on what we are seeing.

You can do this with fiction. But let’s look at a couple of my favorite examples of this understated art/science.

Smart Set Dressing on a Budget

Scene from the movie Office Space — image is for reference purposes only
Scene from the movie Office Space — image is for reference purposes only

I love how Office Space is put together! For those of us who worked during the era it’s set in, the cubicles and the drabness are all too familiar.

And while the film itself doesn’t look or feel particularly low budget, putting together the sets had to have been relatively straightforward and certainly cost-effective.

Peter’s apartment has furnishings that look like Ikea knockoffs. The casual restaurant where Joanna works is probably just some adaptation of a Chili’s or the like.

And the office itself is so soulless and unfamiliar, it could be just about anywhere. Hell, I think I may have worked there…

Now, I don’t pretend to know how much it all cost. But anything you don’t have to do too much to? It’s got to be inexpensive. And the best part is that it fits the movie’s vibe perfectly.

Lavish Set Dressing on an Obviously Much Bigger Budget

Of course, with the epic film Titanic, James Cameron had the real thing as a reference. But a lot of people probably would have been okay with it if he had missed a detail here or there. Except, that doesn’t seem to be the case. The reproduction appears to be more or less flawless.

Consider the grand staircase. It’s sumptuous and beautiful and apparently was built more to be an actual room than just a movie set.

Image of grand staircase from the film Titanic. Image is for reference purposes only.
Image of grand staircase from the film Titanic. Image is for reference purposes only.

It is, of course, a real live staircase that the actors could walk on, etc.

There’s an incredible attention to detail—they just don’t make ’em like that anymore.

Except, evidently, it was built in Mexico City for the film!

Now, you and I probably wouldn’t notice if the carvings weren’t as unbelievably ornate. But Cameron of course would. With good money (obviously!) behind him, he could make these kinds of set decisions.

Dressing the Titanic set means it looks and feels as if money is no object. Because that’s pretty damn accurate.

But What Does This Have to do With Writing?

Quite a bit! When you are putting together your universe, you will need to get a few things straight. And one of them is the set/scenery. So, take some inspiration from how Hollywood and elsewhere makes movies?

Do a few thought experiments. When does the story take place? Are the people wealthy? Poor? In the middle? How can you reflect that in your prose, without hitting the reader over the head with it?

After all, you can say X character is poor. Or you can say that X character is catching a cold because of holes in their shoes. Terry Pratchett has a particularly great quote on boots and wealth. But of course you don’t have to copy him in order to make a rather similar point.

For Richer or Poorer

Consider, also, the come up (or down) in circumstances that may accompany a marriage or other commitment in your world. Picture coming home to a new place with your new spouse and finding out their credit score is in the tank and they’re living on ramen and handouts from the local food bank.

Or, on the flip side, imagine coming home and finding out that the bills will always be affordable, and you don’t have to turn the heat down to freezing.

Work Spaces

Beyond Office Space, and even the Titanic, where your characters work deserves some attention to detail as well. Do the stairs creak? Are there cigarette burns in the carpeting? Do dragons fly by every hour or so?

Immersion into such a scene means cueing in your readers on things like whether a character has little toys on their desk at work, or they always have a suitcase packed. Does the building have a cafeteria? Is the parking garage safe?

How many women are in the workplace, and what do they do? Who makes the coffee? And who fetches it? Who has the corner office, and who can work from home (if applicable)?

Do some research if you are writing about the past, to be sure you don’t accidentally introduce anachronisms. Even into the mid- to late-1990s, not every white collar worker had a computer at their desk, for example (I know, I lived this). And what better way to show a company is on the skids than by saddling its employees with obsolete technology?

Medical Spaces

Beyond them obviously being a subset of work spaces, there is a real difference in look and feel between, say, M*A*S*H, General Hospital, and Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman. The treatment options available will be apparent if you keep the equipment nearby. That equipment could be anything from ether to an MRI machine to the condition of the building or tent where characters practice medicine.

Do they make house calls? Treat people at a battlefield or an accident scene? And without getting into casting, think about the ages, genders, and races of the people practicing medicine. Can women be doctors? How much knowledge do the people have? With medical spaces, you can also tell a lot about them by showing if they’re clean or not.

Spaces for Education

The one-room schoolhouse is a far cry from a modern school with assorted classes, professional teachers, and perhaps bilingual students. Books or laptops? Or slates? How industrial-looking is the building? Are there metal detectors? Armed guards? Someone dressed as the school mascot running around?

Is there a trophy case? An office? There is an enormous difference between a scholastic environment where there’s a swimming pool, versus one where the paint is peeling off the walls.

Are special education students separate from everyone else? Or is there mainstreaming? Or do they just not go to school at all?

Go back a bit, and students would have had to pump their own water. The style of teaching is also extremely different. Without going down that rabbit hole just now, consider how schooling changes just from one generation to another. Is it rote memorization? Phonics? Recitations?

And don’t get me started on how they’re teaching math ….

Transportation

Your transportation setting could very well be a horse with a saddle and a bridle. Hell, go back far enough, and there aren’t even really saddles.

Or your characters could be riding in a 1970s Lincoln Continental or a Stanhope gig or the lunar rover. Even disabled and bedridden characters may have to go somewhere or other, whether it’s to shop or for medical care (see above). Is there a walker in the home? Are the stairs off limits, with a baby gate in front of them? Or are there tripping hazards everywhere, in a place where someone’s a hoarder?

If you think this is another way to show versus tell, then give yourself a cookie.

Takeaways

Your characters need spaces—to live in, work in, fight in, get sick in, have a party in, or even to die in. Give those spaces some details and your readers will love how you’ve decorated your worlds.

There is more than just the visuals, and we’ll get to the other senses soon.


Scene setting is an important skill in writing!

Want More of Using Senses in Writing?

If the idea of using set dressing with your writing resonates with you, then check out my other articles about using sense cues.

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