Self-Review – Bet on Marnie

Let’s Look at Bet on Marnie

How did Mariana Shapiro Chase get into space? She had to beat the odds. But never count her out. Always bet on Marnie.

I wrote this story during the fourth quarter of 2024. It is the first story that I designated as #30Day50K. It serves as a prequel to The Enigman Cave. One thing that I am rather pleased with is that it bolsters the main storyline rather nicely.

And, with some of the storyline covered here, I can probably edit the original a lot more ruthlessly. Which, I am certain, is a really good idea.

When I am through with both of these stories, they will most likely look a lot different.

Background

To make my life easier as I continue to try to come up with a detailed and reasonable third Obolonk trilogy, I decided to write prequels for my major properties. These would work from 2022 until at least 2025 and potentially into 2026 or 2027.

Hey, I can find all sorts of fun ways to procrastinate, heh.

Plot

Marnie’s life takes a turn as she gets into Deep Space Training School while her marriage founders. Complicating matters is the fact that the government, which runs the school, has superficial preferences for people who are young and pretty.

But they don’t know Marnie.

Characters

The characters are Marnie Shapiro Chase, Ben Chase, Harrison N’Beki, Patricia (Trixie) LaRue, Rosa Perrault, Missy Mahoney, Don Chandler, and a number of candidates for deep space exploration.

Memorable Quotes {This is the First Time We See Ben Chase}

It was nearly three in the morning when she heard the sound of the front door unlocking in response to Ben inserting his key card.

She got up and met him in the front hall. “Well?”

“Well, what?” Ben slurred. He reeked of scotch and soda.

If you weren’t so damned fine-looking, I’d have had it out with you long ago. “Well, where have you been?”

“You didn’t get my texts?”

To humor him, she checked her tablet. “The most recent text from you is from four days ago. Your ultra-romantic message was that you wanted me to pick up Cornish game hens.”

“Oh. Well, then it was a voice mail.” Ben staggered into the house. Mariana shut the door behind him as he lurched for the bathroom.

Mariana pressed on the tan card on her lanyard, and it lit up for a moment. It was an amber color, signifying older messages but nothing since she had last checked. “My last voice mail from you was from a week ago. You told me you didn’t want to go to Hilton Head, and I quote, ‘Deal with that kid.’ You’re so paternal.” God, I hope you can recognize sarcasm in your current state. But I’m not holding my breath on that.

“Maybe it was a, an email. Yes, that’s what they’re called. Did you move the toilet, or something?”

Mariana got behind him. She took him by the shoulders and marched him into the bathroom. “No, I did not move the toilet, for fuck’s sake. You are totally plastered, Ben.” God, I hope you’re not going to get sick on me. The last time you did, I had to get robotic help to clean up the place.

Rating for Bet on Marnie

The story has a T rating. There are a few moments, including a few with people being found in flagrante delicto. Plus, there’s some swearing, including in the sample, above. So, if such things bother you, proceed at your own risk, I suppose.

Takeaways for Bet on Marnie

I like this story a lot, and I feel it conveys a lot of what the actual deep space program is like. Plus, it delves deeply into Marnie and Ben’s marriage in a way that I didn’t do so when I was originally writing The Enigman Cave.

And as I look at it, it strikes me that, first off, I can edit out quite a bit of it. There is quite simply way too much detail on the courses they take. But at the same time, I believe there are likely to be places where scenes or quotes can work with either story.

Hence, editing both may turn out to be something I do at the same time. And, I suspect each will trade with the other, almost making two different stories. We shall see.

Want More of my Short Stories and Novellas?

If this story resonates with you, then I hope you will check out some of my other blog posts about my shorter works.

Finally, for a complete list of my shorter works, please be sure to check out the Hub Page—Short Stories.