Self-Review – Miss Milky Way

It is Time for a Review of Miss Milky Way

Here she comes, Miss Milky Way…

Okay, maybe not that, exactly.

I wrote this story during the third quarter of 2018. But I do not believe there was any sort of prompt for it.

Background

The whole idea of an alien civilization requiring us to somehow pass a kind of test is not new to me. In that way, the plot of this one is rather similar to A Show for the Galaxy.

I suppose it comes from the standard nightmare of being suddenly thrust into a situation where you are taking a test with no preparation. But here, naturally, the stakes are even higher.

Plot

If beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder, then what happens if that eye just so happens to belong to a sapient non-human species?

With a lot of the usual weirdness that goes on in beauty pageants, there’s only one small problem in the contest to crown a new Miss Milky Way. It’s really tiny.

I probably shouldn’t even bother mentioning it.

What is it?

The losers will have their home planets destroyed.

Not even the runner-up to Miss Milky Way will be able to save her planet.

Characters

The characters are Earth competitor Kristi Smithers; Baenifa, who has glittery scales; Divix, who has lobster-like claws; Baenifa, who has glittery scales; Hruvna, who has numerous feather-like skin tags; and Kyiya, a jellyfish with a methane tank which she breathes from.

Then there are a number of contests who I do not name. One is composed entirely of vapor; another looks like a wolf on two legs; a third looks like a large eggplant with feet. Plus, there are a number of other contestants from other worlds in our galaxy.

Memorable Quotes from Miss Milky Way

“They’re all beautiful, ladies and gentlemen and intersex and non-gendered beings. Let’s all give them a round of applause!”

Applause was a relative term. Sometimes it was like human clapping. At other times, it was like whale songs or clicking or humming. Some of it was silent, and achieved by waiting. Such were the many ways the attendees at the first-ever Interstellar Pageant – at least it was the first one where Earth had sent a contestant – showed their appreciation.

The pride of Bayonne, Kristi Smithers, took it all in, smiling her best pageant smile, the one she had used since she was a child going to toddler pageants and sweeping those awards. Victory was all but assured. The Solar System pageant had been a piece of cake – as if she ever ate cake. This level would be no different.

Smile! Genre and Overall Mood for Miss Milky Way

The genre is science fiction. The mood runs the gamut from silly and cheerful to tense to defiant.

Rating for Miss Milky Way

The story has a K+ rating. A lot of this story is lighthearted and kind of silly. But the consequences of losing the pageant are rather frightening, and they are very, very final.

Takeaways

I like Kristi, who has spunk and heart and is a lot like the USO kick line character in Guilty of Imperfection, Jennifer Wesley. But unlike Jennifer, Kristi has a chance to stop things early.

And the best part about how Kristi can turn the tables is by scrapping the idea of a competition completely. So, the key to victory is to cooperate with the competition.

For the glittering prize of becoming the most beautiful woman in the galaxy pales in the face of potentially saving billions of lives. Kristi will take that tradeoff any day of the week.

Want More of my Short Stories and Novellas?

If this story resonates with you, then I hope you will check out some of my other blog posts about my shorter works.

And finally, for a complete list of my shorter works, please be sure to check out the Hub Page—Short Stories.