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Month: December 2024

Self-Review – Sarah’s InventionShort Stories, Road, My Aliens, Last Patient, interview, Surprises, Props, shipwrecked, child, Killing Us Softly, Ditte, Band, three minutes, Longest Night Watch, Nothing Good Ever Happens, Complications, Your Call, Darkness into Light, canaries, gentrification, Cynthia, True Believer, Short Stories, Wilder Bloom, Dish, Gentrification, Mitalisque, kitten, Last Try, Minnesota Wish, Dominick and Angela, Alix, Alix’s Apocalypse, A Chance Encounter in Time, A Crime in Time, A Show for the Galaxy, Aenor the Wanted, Alien Justice, And the Band Played the Apocalypse, Babel 2.0, Back, Front, and Side Pages, Camp, Courier to the Soviets, Frozen Assets, Julie's Dollar, Mandy Goes to Aspen, Martin's Choice, Mike’s Grades, Out of the Work Camp Frying Pan, Saddle Up, Bank Teller, Sarah’s Invention, Small Acts of Defiance, The Future Has No Foundation, The Ides of the Secretarial Pool, Unexpected Help, You Will Drink Your Coffee and Like It, Unreliable, East Side of the Universe, Eros vs Thanatos, Dust Between Our Stars, A Show for the Galaxy, A Fairy Tale for Skeptical Adults, A School for Scavengers, Frozen Assets, Out of the Work Camp Frying Pan, 1960s Temporal Crimes, Lizzie Borden is Vital to the Timeline, Walls Came Tumbling Down Again, The End, Will's Dog,

Self-Review – Sarah’s Invention

Published by Janet Gershen-Siegel on December 19, 2024

Review – Sarah’s Invention

I really love Sarah’s Invention, because its message is, in essence, that you can pull yourself out of poverty using just your ingenuity.

Because my father is an inventor, I know his experiences were in the back of my mind when I started to write this one.

I wrote this story during first quarter 2021.

Background

Sarah and her family are poor. Her mother and her brother both work several jobs. She’s just a nine year old kid in elementary school, so she’s not working. Yet.
Like a lot of kids, she mainly wants to use her after school time to play. And maybe do a bit of her homework. She is certainly not trying to change anyone’s life.

Plot

Alone in the family trailer after school, Sarah combines the contents of a few dozen different flavors of toothpaste and some coarse salt. When she brushes her teeth with her new concoction, it tastes horrible. But her teeth are the whitest they have ever been.

When her invention whitens her mother’s teeth, and it completely clears up the chewing tobacco stains on her brother’s teeth, Sarah’s mother LaToya decides they need to talk to someone about what to do next.

Characters

The characters are Sarah, her brother Randy, her mother, and the members of the law firm—Jenkins, Rollins, and Joan, a legal secretary.

Memorable Quotes {This Section is from the POV of Jenkins, a Lawyer}

It has been the weirdest day in the history of days, or at least it sure as hell feels like it.

I was having one of these days where I just have no idea how or if I’ll ever make it in the firm. You’re supposed to be a damned rainmaker, and bring business in. But it’s not exactly easy. I’ve been having a lot of those doubtful days lately.

Then in walks this woman—Joan said she didn’t have an appointment but hey I was free, so could I? Sure, what the hell.

Her name was LaToya Carling. And she had a tube of toothpaste with her. At least, that’s what she told me it was, but it was in one of those old guacamole tubes from the local fast food place.

She told me it could whiten teeth, and it had cured her toothache.

Now, I’m skeptical by nature, so I asked a bunch of questions. But at least I have the mental wherewithal to not laugh at the poor woman.

She said if someone brushed their teeth with it, that she could prove the stuff worked.

I called Joan back in, and she said she’d do it. She’s an older woman, with the weight of the world on her face and, a bit, on her teeth, which were dull.

And I said ‘were’ because I’ll be damned. The stuff worked as advertised. The moment Joan had rinsed her mouth, I swore her to secrecy. I would have to talk to old man Rollins. Mrs. Carling gave me the tube and I promised to have it analyzed.

It was maybe seven before Rollins could see me. Joan, God love her, stayed late. And we showed it to him. He was impressed.

It was his idea to see if the invention could be duplicated. It’s the only really good way to secure a patent. He was truly flabbergasted when I related what Mrs. Carling had told me: it was the work of her nine-year-old daughter.

The next few days were kind of a blur. I spent half my time working with Mrs. Carling to help her get the raw materials together for her daughter—and not to say why she was doing so.

The other half was divided between working with an analytical chemist, sending both Joan and Mrs. Carling to a dentist to be checked out, and discussing money with Rollins.

I even went to the trailer to watch the girl, Sarah, mix up the stuff again. This time, I tried it, and it worked like a charm. A little too well, I’d say. I look like a damned Osmond.

Rating for Sarah’s Invention

The story has a K rating.

Takeaways for Sarah’s Invention

Sarah is just a kid and has no idea what she is doing. She isn’t trying to invent anything. She really just wants to combine a bunch of different toothpaste types and flavors to see what they taste like.

I like to think that if something like this ever really happened, that lawyers like Jenkins and Rollins would have the wherewithal to not only help the family get the invention to market, but to also not exploit them.

Want More of my Short Stories and Novellas?

If this story resonates with you, then check out my other articles about my shorter works.

Short Stories

Finally, for a complete list of my shorter works, please be sure to check out the Hub Page—Short Stories.

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Self-Review – And the Band Played the ApocalypseShort Stories, Road, My Aliens, Last Patient, interview, Surprises, Props, shipwrecked, child, Killing Us Softly, Ditte, Band, three minutes, Longest Night Watch, Nothing Good Ever Happens, Complications, Your Call, Darkness into Light, canaries, gentrification, Cynthia, True Believer, Short Stories, Wilder Bloom, Dish, Gentrification, Mitalisque, kitten, Last Try, Minnesota Wish, Dominick and Angela, Alix, Alix’s Apocalypse, A Chance Encounter in Time, A Crime in Time, A Show for the Galaxy, Aenor the Wanted, Alien Justice, And the Band Played the Apocalypse, Babel 2.0, Back, Front, and Side Pages, Camp, Courier to the Soviets, Frozen Assets, Julie's Dollar, Mandy Goes to Aspen, Martin's Choice, Mike’s Grades, Out of the Work Camp Frying Pan, Saddle Up, Bank Teller, Sarah’s Invention, Small Acts of Defiance, The Future Has No Foundation, The Ides of the Secretarial Pool, Unexpected Help, You Will Drink Your Coffee and Like It, Unreliable, East Side of the Universe, Eros vs Thanatos, Dust Between Our Stars, A Show for the Galaxy, A Fairy Tale for Skeptical Adults, A School for Scavengers, Frozen Assets, Out of the Work Camp Frying Pan, 1960s Temporal Crimes, Lizzie Borden is Vital to the Timeline, Walls Came Tumbling Down Again, The End, Will's Dog,

Self-Review – And the Band Played the Apocalypse

Published by Janet Gershen-Siegel on December 17, 2024

Review – And the Band Played the Apocalypse

And the Band Played the Apocalypse harkens back to my childhood. Now, of course I didn’t live through an apocalypse. And I hope I never do! Rather, whenever my family would visit my grandmother in Brooklyn, I would have very little to do.

I’d get really, really bored. I would be so bored that I would search for something, anything to read. There were two books there which I read and reread, over and over again. One was The Wizard of Oz.

The other was a set of Greek and Roman myths. These had been adjusted for what we would now call middle grade readers. It might even be this book.

The latter book had a story called Baucis and Philemon. In that story, an old married couple who provide hospitality to disguised gods are rewarded with being saved from a flood. Their wish is to die at the same time. The gods grant their wish.

They die by being transformed into trees. It was this bit of the story that I decided to emulate as the end of this story (oops, big spoiler alert!).

I wrote this story during second quarter 2021.

Background

This story came from a one-word prompt, when I was writing every day and creating random prompts in alphabetical order. This prompt was the word Jazz.

So, what better place to convey the prompt word than New Orleans? And then the plot took a few weird turns.

Plot

As the last of the human race dies out due to the effects of a virus meant to only kill rodents, the anti-Adam and Eve meet for one last song. One last riff.

Characters

The characters are the Saxophone Woman (not-Sally) and the Tambourine Guy (not-Lloyd). Plus the countless dogs and cats still alive, haunting the streets of New Orleans.

Memorable Quotes

“Pretty soon, there won’t be any more language. Except for dolphins, I guess. We should’ve been cetaceans. No opposable thumbs, no civilization. But at least no self-inflicted genocide.”

The stranger touches the instrument’s keys. “Then again, no saxophones, either. Whatever will some future alien explorers think of us? What fossils will we leave? Will it be the grillwork fences here on Bourbon Street, rusted to a fare-thee-well? Bones for my chorus’s dinner? The marble mausoleums? Stone and bone, I bet. Crumbling, rusty dust where there were once cars, and buildings. And, hell, clipboards and knitting needles. All the ephemera of our existence. Gone, like swallows at the end of summer.” A few coughs.

“Yes, yes, I am well aware that I’m being dramatic. But I don’t think overly so. After all, the end is nigh. If I can’t get bombastic now, then when can I?”

A jangle.

“What was that?”

The stranger glances around and spots a dog that still has its collar and tags. The stranger kneels, knees cracking. “C’mere! Come on! Good doggie. Good doggie.”

The dog trots over, its matted reddish-brown fur daubed with mud. “Just a sec.” The stranger unbuckles the collar and reads from the tags. “Rusty. You’re a good dog, Rusty ole pal.”

Another jangle.

The stranger freezes. In a moment, trembling, she straightens up. “More collars, I bet. Well, I suppose there are worse ways to spend your last hours. I can spend mine freeing Fido and Spot from the oppressive yoke of ownership. Humanity in our final moments goes commie. Who’d’ve thunk it?”

More jangling. But this time, in a semblance of rhythm.

Trembling, the stranger calls out, “Who’s there?” And then, thinking better of it, the stranger blows a few notes on the sax. An old song by Bob Dylan. “… there ain’t no place I’m going to.”

A pause.

“Ain’t that the truth?”

Rating for And the Band Played the Apocalypse

The story has a K rating. While the prospect of the end of the world is always going to be unsettling, the characters do their best to make do in a bad situation. Nothing violent happens ‘on screen’.

Takeaways for And the Band Played the Apocalypse

I think my biggest takeaway is that inspiration can strike in all sorts of wacky and unexpected ways.

As writers, everyone tells us to read—constantly—and this story is proof of that concept. Essentially, you can get ideas this way. And in the case of this particular story, my memory of the myth I had read during my childhood came in handy a good four decades later.

Want More of my Short Stories and Novellas?

If this story resonates with you, then check out my other articles about my shorter works.

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Finally, for a complete list of my shorter works, please be sure to check out the Hub Page—Short Stories.

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Self-Review – … And the Walls Came Tumbling Down AgainShort Stories, Road, My Aliens, Last Patient, interview, Surprises, Props, shipwrecked, child, Killing Us Softly, Ditte, Band, three minutes, Longest Night Watch, Nothing Good Ever Happens, Complications, Your Call, Darkness into Light, canaries, gentrification, Cynthia, True Believer, Short Stories, Wilder Bloom, Dish, Gentrification, Mitalisque, kitten, Last Try, Minnesota Wish, Dominick and Angela, Alix, Alix’s Apocalypse, A Chance Encounter in Time, A Crime in Time, A Show for the Galaxy, Aenor the Wanted, Alien Justice, And the Band Played the Apocalypse, Babel 2.0, Back, Front, and Side Pages, Camp, Courier to the Soviets, Frozen Assets, Julie's Dollar, Mandy Goes to Aspen, Martin's Choice, Mike’s Grades, Out of the Work Camp Frying Pan, Saddle Up, Bank Teller, Sarah’s Invention, Small Acts of Defiance, The Future Has No Foundation, The Ides of the Secretarial Pool, Unexpected Help, You Will Drink Your Coffee and Like It, Unreliable, East Side of the Universe, Eros vs Thanatos, Dust Between Our Stars, A Show for the Galaxy, A Fairy Tale for Skeptical Adults, A School for Scavengers, Frozen Assets, Out of the Work Camp Frying Pan, 1960s Temporal Crimes, Lizzie Borden is Vital to the Timeline, Walls Came Tumbling Down Again, The End, Will's Dog,

Self-Review – … And the Walls Came Tumbling Down Again

Published by Janet Gershen-Siegel on December 12, 2024

Due to the rise in antisemitic incidents since October 7, 2023, I decided to write … And the Walls Came Tumbling Down Again in order to, essentially, create a story with Jewish heroes and heroines.

Review – … And the Walls Came Tumbling Down Again

For this story, I dug back. Way back.

My idea was to treat the Hebrew Tanakh (the 5 books of Moses plus the rest of the Torah) as historical fact—and for those facts to be jeopardized by careless time traveling by bad actors.

I wrote this story during first quarter 2024.

Background

After the awful attack on October 7, 2023, I wanted to write a story where Jewish people in particular would be heroic.

Their power and heroism would not come from oppression. Rather, they would come from cooperation. And from smart, fast, out of the box thinking.

This meant digging back to a person in any of our ancient books who was at all like an action hero—Joshua.

Plot

It’s the December holidays, 3863. When a new guy comes to work at the temporal experience, change, travel control agency (TECTA), the Jewish employees take him under their wing. But while they’re meeting to shmooze and get to know him, time changes.

Suddenly, place names are changed. So are people’s names. The menorah (chanukiah), Kwanzaa candleabrum, and Christmas tree in the main reception area are gone. In their place, there’s a barbecue pit for animal sacrifices. And there’s a golden calf.

Can Rachel Shapiro and her team find the problem and fix it, even as their boss calls her Athena Arno and threatens the death penalty for daring to say that slavery is wrong?

Characters

The characters are Rachel Shapiro, Max Freedman, Chief Engineer Kevin O’Connor, Quartermaster Penelope Schulman, Cheri Nicolaev (an analyst), Dave Miller (in PR), Steve Bernstein (a historian), Diana St. John, their boss Victoria Chilton, and Mohammed Hamdi.

Rachel also refers to two other travelers on her team, Phil and Sharon. Sharon is Sharon Ensley, thereby neatly giving her more of a backstory.

Nicolaev is a direct link to the character Olga Nicolaev in Mettle

There are also characters on the planetary Senate committee, Chair Margaret Johnson, Michael Peterson, Jerome Simon, David St. James, and Elizabeth Angelini. Angelini is a direct link to a minor character in The Real Hub of the Universe.

But that reference is fleeting and I do not make it at all obvious.

Memorable Quotes

It was December 19, 3863. Offices were decked in all manner of holiday fluff. There was an enormous Christmas tree in the front reception area, plus a menorah, and a Kwanzaa candelabra. Along with my usual mezuzah on my office door, there was an electric chanukiah on my credenza. I was in the middle of dictating a report on a recent trip to 1976 Romania and had my door shut. There was a knock. “Computer, pause. Come in.”

The guy who had knocked was maybe in his twenties, a little nebbishy-looking and short, with the start of a beard. “Hi,” he said. “I hope I’m not intruding.”

“Not at all. Late-stage communism isn’t the most exciting thing to report on. What brings you here, stranger?”

“Oh, yes, I’m Max Freedman. I couldn’t help but notice your mezuzah, Ms…..” his voice trailed off as he checked the name plate mounted on the wall, just outside my office door, “… Shapiro. I’m hoping you celebrate Chanukah.”

“I sure do. I had sufganiyot sent over from a deli on Pluto, but I bet the break room already looks like a tornado went through it. Please call me Rachel. Come in and have a seat, Max.” As he sat down, I asked, “Which department are you in? I know you’re not a traveler, as I do the hiring for my team.”

“Mechanics, actually.”

“Temporal or tinkering with the hardware?”

“A bit of both.” He scratched the back of his neck for a second. “Rachel, I am so glad I saw your door. I was starting to think I was the only Jew working on TECTA.”

Rating for …And the Walls Came Tumbling Down Again

The story has a K+ rating. There’s a very small amount of swearing and a woman is murdered. But her killing takes place offscreen.

Takeaways for … And the Walls Came Tumbling Down Again

Unlike a lot of my other short stories from 2024, I like the ending. It conveys a sense of menace and opens up the storyline for sequels. This, easily, could become a series for Rachel Shapiro, but also for Sharon Ensley.

Want More of my Short Stories and Novellas?

If this story resonates with you, then check out my other articles about my shorter works.

Short Stories

Finally, for a complete list of my shorter works, please be sure to check out the Hub Page—Short Stories.

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Self-Review – Lizzie Borden is Vital to the TimelineShort Stories, Road, My Aliens, Last Patient, interview, Surprises, Props, shipwrecked, child, Killing Us Softly, Ditte, Band, three minutes, Longest Night Watch, Nothing Good Ever Happens, Complications, Your Call, Darkness into Light, canaries, gentrification, Cynthia, True Believer, Short Stories, Wilder Bloom, Dish, Gentrification, Mitalisque, kitten, Last Try, Minnesota Wish, Dominick and Angela, Alix, Alix’s Apocalypse, A Chance Encounter in Time, A Crime in Time, A Show for the Galaxy, Aenor the Wanted, Alien Justice, And the Band Played the Apocalypse, Babel 2.0, Back, Front, and Side Pages, Camp, Courier to the Soviets, Frozen Assets, Julie's Dollar, Mandy Goes to Aspen, Martin's Choice, Mike’s Grades, Out of the Work Camp Frying Pan, Saddle Up, Bank Teller, Sarah’s Invention, Small Acts of Defiance, The Future Has No Foundation, The Ides of the Secretarial Pool, Unexpected Help, You Will Drink Your Coffee and Like It, Unreliable, East Side of the Universe, Eros vs Thanatos, Dust Between Our Stars, A Show for the Galaxy, A Fairy Tale for Skeptical Adults, A School for Scavengers, Frozen Assets, Out of the Work Camp Frying Pan, 1960s Temporal Crimes, Lizzie Borden is Vital to the Timeline, Walls Came Tumbling Down Again, The End, Will's Dog,

Self-Review – Lizzie Borden is Vital to the Timeline

Published by Janet Gershen-Siegel on December 10, 2024

So, Lizzie Borden is Vital to the Timeline is a short story I wrote to try to get into an anthology.

Review – Lizzie Borden is Vital to the Timeline

Yes, it’s really about that Lizzie Borden, from Fall River, Massachusetts.

I wrote this story during third quarter 2024.

Background

The Lizzie Borden House and Riverdale Avenue Books teamed up to create an anthology all about Lizzie. One of the suggested genres was time travel. So, I took that and ran with it.

Plot

When temporal criminal Franklin Milhouse goes back to the 1890s to try to save the Bordens from their daughter’s axe, it’s not to help them out. Rather, it’s to get Lizzie’s father to slay Joseph Kennedy, the father of JFK. And by doing so, propelling Milhouse’s ancestor, Richard Nixon, to the White House in 1960 rather than 1968.

But this is going to mess up so much of the timeline that time traveler Julia Rosen has to go back and undo it all. For bad news for the elder Bordens is good news for the timeline.

Characters

The future characters are time traveler Julia Rosen, her boss Sylvia Kowalsky, and Chief Engineer Kevin. Plus temporal criminal Franklin Milhouse. Future robotic AI characters are Grant and Betsy.

The characters from the past are Lizzie Borden, Andrew Borden, Emma Borden, and Abby Borden. These were all very real people.

Memorable Quotes {Julia’s Cover Story is She’s a Maid Named Julia Doherty}

A younger woman, her hair coming undone, looked in on the kitchen. “Are you the new maid?”

“Yes,” I said, elbows deep in suds.

“Of course she is. You’re such an ignorant girl, Lizzie,” said Mrs. Borden. “And you! Those dishes had better sparkle when you’re through with them. Don’t be taking all day, either. Oh, and, Doherty, a broken plate means you’re fired.”

“I understand.” Yeah, it’s official. I hate her.

“Could you also clean the front steps, please?” Lizzie asked me. “The pigeons made a bit of a mess.”

“You’ll do that on your own time,” said Mrs. Borden.

“Which one of us will?” I asked.

“Doesn’t matter to me. But while you’re paid by me, you’re working for me.”

I turned to Lizzie. “Sorry, but you’re on your own.”

“Ah, well, it was just a thought.”

“See, that’s your problem,” scolded Mrs. Borden. “Always trying to think when you haven’t got half a brain in your head. Such a stupid girl, don’t you think, Doherty?”

Well, this is awkward. “I, er, well, you don’t pay me to provide my opinions, ma’am.”

Mrs. Borden raised a hand as if to strike me, but then laughed. “See, Lizzie? You pay attention and you’ll get things right from time to time. Oh, and Doherty, you missed a spot.”

“I’ll go over that part again carefully. Thank you for your instruction.” And kiss my future ass.

Rating for Lizzie Borden is Vital to the Timeline

The story has a K rating. Even though Borden probably really was a murderer, there’s nothing really about it on screen.

Takeaways for Lizzie Borden is Vital to the Timeline

I think it’s okay. I was under a time crunch, and that probably shows. Also, while rereading, I discovered an inconsistency. Oh, well.

Short Stories and Novellas

Want More of my Short Stories and Novellas?

If this story resonates with you, then check out my other articles about my shorter works.

Short Stories

Finally, for a complete list of my shorter works, please be sure to check out the Hub Page—Short Stories.

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Self-Review – 1960s Temporal CrimesShort Stories, Road, My Aliens, Last Patient, interview, Surprises, Props, shipwrecked, child, Killing Us Softly, Ditte, Band, three minutes, Longest Night Watch, Nothing Good Ever Happens, Complications, Your Call, Darkness into Light, canaries, gentrification, Cynthia, True Believer, Short Stories, Wilder Bloom, Dish, Gentrification, Mitalisque, kitten, Last Try, Minnesota Wish, Dominick and Angela, Alix, Alix’s Apocalypse, A Chance Encounter in Time, A Crime in Time, A Show for the Galaxy, Aenor the Wanted, Alien Justice, And the Band Played the Apocalypse, Babel 2.0, Back, Front, and Side Pages, Camp, Courier to the Soviets, Frozen Assets, Julie's Dollar, Mandy Goes to Aspen, Martin's Choice, Mike’s Grades, Out of the Work Camp Frying Pan, Saddle Up, Bank Teller, Sarah’s Invention, Small Acts of Defiance, The Future Has No Foundation, The Ides of the Secretarial Pool, Unexpected Help, You Will Drink Your Coffee and Like It, Unreliable, East Side of the Universe, Eros vs Thanatos, Dust Between Our Stars, A Show for the Galaxy, A Fairy Tale for Skeptical Adults, A School for Scavengers, Frozen Assets, Out of the Work Camp Frying Pan, 1960s Temporal Crimes, Lizzie Borden is Vital to the Timeline, Walls Came Tumbling Down Again, The End, Will's Dog,

Self-Review – 1960s Temporal Crimes

Published by Janet Gershen-Siegel on December 5, 2024

I wrote 1960s Temporal Crimes by the seat of my pants. But I don’t think it shows its seams too badly.

Review – 1960s Temporal Crimes

Welcome back to my universes, time traveling bounty hunter (at times) Sharon Ensley.

I wrote this story during first quarter 2023. It’s kind of long. So, I’m not so sure it qualifies as a short story. Maybe it’s a novella? I don’t know. I just work here. 😉

Background

It was maybe half a year after I had been working closely with a critique group. It went all right, but they were on the west coast. When time switched to daylight savings, I could not make the meetings any longer.

One of the stories was about a Jewish gangster. This may very well have been on my mind when I dreamt up small time Jersey thug Ray Hall.

Plot

On her first solo trip in time, Sharon Ensley’s tech cracks. Unable to get home, she enlists the help of small time mobster Ray Hall. Sharon has to capture criminal Marcus Vandermore and bring him back to their time. And the only way she’ll be able to do that is to take Marcus’s tech.

But the trip to 1961 New Jersey isn’t all it seems, because Ray isn’t what he seems. For Sharon to do the right thing, but also do her job, it’ll take some fancy footwork. Is the rookie time traveler up to it?

Characters

The characters are Sharon Ensley, Ray Hall, Peggy O’Shaughnessy and her father Declan, Marcus Vandermore (in the past, he calls himself Victor), mob boss Les Hargreaves, and mob lieutenant Ralph Appleton.

I really enjoyed giving the hoods such all-American/nonethnic names.

Ray also refers to nurse’s aides named Rosalie (with her son, Jean-Paul) Baptiste, Juanita Rodriguez, May St. John, Micheline St. John, and Deborah Toussaint.

The story is from Sharon’s point of view.

Memorable Quotes {Ray and Sharon are Speaking}

“Oh, no, you don’t. Don’t be changing the subject on me. How can I help you? Tell me, flat out, the whole truth.”

Peggy arrived with the fries. “The complete, flat out, whole truth is these were reheated.” She winked at Sharon. “But you never heard me say that.”

“Of course not.” Sharon took a still-hot fry and tasted it. Good Lord, real potatoes are amazing. I don’t even care that they were reheated. These people have no idea what they’ve got.

Once Peggy was gone again, Ray leaned over, closer to Sharon. In a low voice, he asked again, “What’s the whole truth? You know, so help you God and everything.”

Sharon sighed. If this wasn’t my first time soloing, I’d probably have a good answer for that. So, I guess my only choice is to tell the truth. “The guy I’m looking for, Vandermore, can be dangerous. I figure you can put your hand on weapons if you ever have to.”

“And?”

“And part of my taking him back is taking possession of his tech.”

“Er, why? Don’t you have some sort of a machine or whatever of your own? Otherwise, how could you have gotten here in the first place?”

“I do. But it’s not working quite right.”

“Ah, and there it is.” He stole one of her fries. “You’re afraid you’re stuck here.”

“Well, yeah. And you’ve got fries of your own.”

“I prefer a little petty larceny. But in all seriousness, there are other people you could have turned to. So, I repeat, why me?”

“When I scanned you, I found traces of Vandermore’s DNA. Ray, you met him.”

Rating for 1960s Temporal Crimes

The story has a K+ rating. There is no real violence, although there are hints of it. Also, there is some swearing, but not too much.

Takeaways for 1960s Temporal Crimes

Like a lot of my stories, I am not too thrilled with how it ends. So, I will most likely start to think of an alternative one of these days.

It was fun bringing Sharon back. This story works as a prequel to A Chance Encounter in Time. But since both stories involve her being stuck due to her tech failing, I should probably rethink the pretext as well.

Short Stories and Novellas

Want More of my Short Stories and Novellas?

If this story resonates with you, then check out my other articles about my shorter works.0

Short Stories

For a complete list of my shorter works, please be sure to check out the Hub Page—Short Stories.

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Self-Review – Out of the Work Camp Frying PanShort Stories, Road, My Aliens, Last Patient, interview, Surprises, Props, shipwrecked, child, Killing Us Softly, Ditte, Band, three minutes, Longest Night Watch, Nothing Good Ever Happens, Complications, Your Call, Darkness into Light, canaries, gentrification, Cynthia, True Believer, Short Stories, Wilder Bloom, Dish, Gentrification, Mitalisque, kitten, Last Try, Minnesota Wish, Dominick and Angela, Alix, Alix’s Apocalypse, A Chance Encounter in Time, A Crime in Time, A Show for the Galaxy, Aenor the Wanted, Alien Justice, And the Band Played the Apocalypse, Babel 2.0, Back, Front, and Side Pages, Camp, Courier to the Soviets, Frozen Assets, Julie's Dollar, Mandy Goes to Aspen, Martin's Choice, Mike’s Grades, Out of the Work Camp Frying Pan, Saddle Up, Bank Teller, Sarah’s Invention, Small Acts of Defiance, The Future Has No Foundation, The Ides of the Secretarial Pool, Unexpected Help, You Will Drink Your Coffee and Like It, Unreliable, East Side of the Universe, Eros vs Thanatos, Dust Between Our Stars, A Show for the Galaxy, A Fairy Tale for Skeptical Adults, A School for Scavengers, Frozen Assets, Out of the Work Camp Frying Pan, 1960s Temporal Crimes, Lizzie Borden is Vital to the Timeline, Walls Came Tumbling Down Again, The End, Will's Dog,

Self-Review – Out of the Work Camp Frying Pan

Published by Janet Gershen-Siegel on December 3, 2024

Out of the Work Camp Frying Pan could have been just another escape story. But I think it’s a bit more.

Review – Out of the Work Camp Frying Pan

I wrote this story during second quarter 2021. This was a year when I was writing every day, and I started the year off with various short stories. These were mainly from one-word prompts I wrote myself. For this particular story, the prompt word was X-axis.

Background

The vast, vast majority of the short stories from 2021 had no outline. There was no background, and no plan. I was flying by the seat of my pants.

But then again, so were the characters.

Plot

When four humans escape from a Ziranqui forced work camp, they do so in a stolen alien craft. They don’t understand the written language, and the instruments are unfamiliar.

And, they don’t even know how to point the craft toward Earth. But at least they’re free.

And then, they come across a planet…

Characters

The human characters are Chris Delaney, Lana Marshall, Zach Peyton, and Gail Aronovich. Tronian characters include White Wing, Golden Beak, Gray Down, Bright Plumes, and Gentle Whisper. If you haven’t guessed it by now, the Tronians are birdlike.

The story is from Lana’s point of view.

Memorable Quotes from Out of the Work Camp Frying Pan

Outer space is three dimensional. If you really want to get technical, all space is. But driving along on a country road on Earth, even if the road goes up and down in altitude, all you really need to know are two dimensions. Horizontal, the x-axis. And vertical, the y-axis. All the myriad variations on that particular theme are our directions. West, east, north, and south.

But space has more up and down, no matter what your garden variety science fiction show might lead you to believe. The familiar compass rosette goes in all directions, almost like a dandelion that’s gone to seed.

And so, our breakout from the forced labor camp is an extraordinary thing. I won’t deny that. But Delaney really has no idea where we’re going. I would tell him to pull over and ask directions, but I doubt speaking the right language for asking is possible. Or anyone knowing directions, anyway.

Or even effectively and semi-safely pulling over, for that matter. I’m sure he really doesn’t know how to fly this thing. We could be flying the alien version of going backward, and we would never know.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I don’t blame Delaney, and I don’t mean to sound so critical. He got us out of the camp, and that was truly amazing all by itself. We all owe him a debt of gratitude. We all owe him our lives. But never has the expression ‘going from the frying pan to the fire’ ever been more apropos.

Rating

The story has a K+ rating. The characters have just gotten out of a horrible place. But they don’t really talk about it all that much.

Takeaways for Out of the Work Camp Frying Pan

One rather subtle bit is a callback to another short story I wrote in 2024, Alix’s Apocalypse.

When Gail mentions the Earth being hit with a ‘poisoned radiation beam’, it’s the exact same weapon which hits the planet in Alix’s Apocalypse. I like to think of them as being in the same universe and timeline.

Maybe Chris, Lana, and the others can come back and save Alix in some possible future sequel? I currently have no intention of writing a sequel. But never say never!

And as for the bad guys, the Ziranqui? I’ve used them in a few different stories, and I do believe they will show up in the third Obolonk trilogy as well.

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