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Month: May 2023

Self-Review – Time Addicts: Everything is Up For GrabsTime Addicts, No One is Safe, Nothing is Permanent, Everything is Up for Grabs

Self-Review – Time Addicts: Everything is Up For Grabs

Published by Janet Gershen-Siegel on May 18, 2023

And Finally, it’s Time to Review Time Addicts: Everything is Up For Grabs

So what, exactly, do I mean by ‘everything is up for grabs’? Because as the timelines get ever more confusing, what isn’t on the table?

So, this trilogy of terms came to me after I had been writing the first book for a few weeks. But it snapped it all into sharp focus with these terms. With this, the final book in the trilogy, it seems as if everything is unraveling for Josie and co.

But in a society where you can change time on a whim, how could anything ever be permanent? Also, just as importantly, are there any anchors in life? Or are we all simply destined to be buffeted around by time forever?

With this, the final book in the sub-trilogy, the anchors feel as loose and ephemeral as a sack of feathers. But the bad guys, of course, offer a way to again achieve stability and equilibrium.

If she wants to go that route.

Background

Josie thinks she has seen the most drastic of the timeline changes already. But now they are getting focused, and the bad guys, calling themselves the Yester Gang, are tired of playing around.

Now, their focus is no longer split and they are going after nothing short of all-out genocide of the Obolonk race.

Plot

As the Yester Gang focuses more, Josie receives more mysterious messages which seem to be telling her that she has to act—but how?

The support beams in her life are being kicked out from under her, and Josie has no idea who she can trust. Maybe the best answer is, no one.

Characters

For this piece, the characters are Josie James, Dalton Farouk, Keisha Darnell, Bobby Brodie, Tad Lewis, Cyndi Mendez, Dr. Carmen D’Angelo, and Tommy 2000. Plus there’s also Josie’s enormous family, who flit in and out of the storyline.

Bad guy characters include Marty Quinlan and also his two nonbinary employees/lovers – Velvet Monroe and Daisy Dukes. There’s also Elston Young and Corwin Zachary.

Memorable Quotes from Time Addicts: Everything is Up For Grabs {Josie is talking to her Wingbot. The time change? All the time zones have been changed}

She waved her left hand over her right wrist and a display came up, also in midair. Into it, she said, “Time. Date. Temperature.”

Downstairs, with background noise of gentle wingbeats, came the answer from her Wingbot, 42753, “December the fourth, twenty-five twenty-seven. The time is six AM Eastern-Atlantic time. The temperature is one point sixty-six seven degrees Celsius.”

“Wait, what?”

“It is December the fourth…”

Josie scrunched up her face. Something felt off. “No, not that, Wing. The other part.”

“The temperature?” asked the Wingbot. There was a slight sound of small mechanical feet landing on the kitchen counter.

“No, wait a second.” She rubbed her forehead. Regular early morning nausea—for more than a decade of her life—made morning coffee a nice idea in theory but a terrible one in practice. Fully waking up would have to wait until she got to work, which was on another continent. “The time, Wing.”

“Six oh three.”

“You didn’t say that before.” Absently, she pulled a blue towel from the rack and started to dry her auburn hair.

“Well, the time has changed.”

Josie fought to not become angry with the small, semi-sapient robot, that was only doing its job. “I get that part. You mentioned the time zone?”

“Oh, do you like that? I recently received new instructions from Central Programming, to include a time zone whenever time is requested. If it is bothersome, I can remove it from that subroutine.”

“No, that’s fine.” Albeit weird.

Rating for Everything is Up For Grabs

The story has a K+ rating.

Upshot

I think I ended this middle trilogy well. But I know that the third book didn’t really get cooking until maybe Chapter 21 or so. Also, it’s over 167,000 words long! But at the time of writing this blog post, I had not yet started to edit it.

The second book is short and the first is kind of in the middle. I would rather not append the first 20 or so chapters to the end of the second book and call it a day.

Rather, I need to edit this beast with a chainsaw.

Wish me luck.

When everything is up for grabs, do timelines have any meaning at all? #amwriting

Want More About The Time Addicts Trilogy?

If this article resonates with you, then check out my other articles about this sub-trilogy that’s all about time travel and how it can go more than a little bit, shall we say, ca ca.

Time Addicts Characters:

† Josie James
• Dalton Farouk
† Dr. Carmen D’Angelo
• Tommy 2000

Time Addicts Books:

† No One is Safe.
• Nothing is Permanent
† Everything is Up for Grabs

The Obolonk Universe
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Self-Review – Time Addicts: Nothing is PermanentTime Addicts, No One is Safe, Nothing is Permanent, Everything is Up for Grabs

Self-Review – Time Addicts: Nothing is Permanent

Published by Janet Gershen-Siegel on May 16, 2023

It’s Time to Review Time Addicts: Nothing is Permanent

So, what, exactly, do I mean by ‘nothing is permanent’?

A certain trilogy of terms came to me after I had been writing the first book for a few weeks. But it snapped it all into sharp focus with these terms. I loved the terms so much that they are the subtitles of each of these three books.

So, in a society where you can change time on a whim, how could anything ever be permanent? And, just as importantly, are there any anchors in life?

As the timelines start to really melt and change, Josie’s life turns upside-down.

Background

After receiving the aforesaid message, Josie realizes she’s feeling physically worse and, at the same time, getting more confused about the shifting timelines. They are still relatively coherent. At least, for a while.

Plot

As the timelines continue to shift, Josie witnesses odder and odder changes. Many of them seem to be almost pleasant. Could the other side be, perhaps, trying to change time in order to please her?

The idea is intriguing. Because, could it be that she’s somehow, and in some way, being recruited?

Nothing is Permanent But the Characters

The characters are Josie James, Dalton Farouk, Keisha Darnell, Jerry Brodie, Tad Lewis, Cyndi Mendez, Dr. Carmen D’Angelo, and Tommy 2000.

Plus there’s also Josie’s family, who flit in and out of the storyline. And, there are the bad guys, namely Marty Quinlan and his two nonbinary employees, who go by the names Velvet Monroe and Daisy Dukes.

Memorable Quotes from Time Addicts: Nothing is Permanent {Josie and Bobby are entering the office at the New Howard Theater, where there are puzzles and barriers to entry to OIA HQ}

But it turned out that she didn’t need the umbrella, as she did not arrive alone. “Hi, Bob.”

“Heyas.” He was carrying a fairly large bakery box from Ashmont Annie’s.

“You’re here early,” she said, as she started the process of getting through the first barrier to entry.

“What are you talking about, Josie? I’m always bright and early.”

“No, you aren’t.”

“Yes, I am.”

“No, really, I have never, ever seen you early. Your habit is not to be early.”

“I am always bright and early. C’mon,” he said, voice taking on an edge of frustration.

“I, no, I don’t think so. I don’t think anyone in the Department of Temporal Narcotics has ever seen you come in early. You just aren’t an early kind of a guy.”

“For fuck’s sake, Josie, I am.”

She backed off.

No, you aren’t. You have never, ever been early in all the time I’ve known you, Bobby Brodie.

“Sorry.”

“No problem; we’ll all under stress. Can you hold these so I can get the wheel on the ceiling?”

“Sure thing.” She peeked inside the box. It was a dozen assorted doughnuts, including her absolute favorite, Boston Cream.

“Who’re all these doughnuts for?” she asked as he turned the wheel and a door slid open to yet another antechamber.

“The team, silly.”

“Really? Since when do you bring in doughnuts for everybody?”

“Since when do I not?”

“Since ever.”

“Wrong again, Josie. Y’know, if you piss me off enough, I will stop bringing in Boston Creams for you.”

“You buy those just for me?”

“Yeah. And I get blueberry for Tad, sour cream – I have no idea why she likes it – for Carmen, you know.”

No, I don’t know.

Rating

The story has a K+ rating.

Upshot

So, one thing about middle books, for me, is they tend to be more romance-centric. Also, they tend to be the shortest books. And while I do not amp up the romance, it is still the shortest of the three books, clocking in at under 70,000 words before editing.

I don’t feel the need to increase this one. Rather, I still want to cut it and the first and the first 40% of the third book. So, while I won’t go until 50,000 words, I will still, I hope, get this one to under 60,000.

When nothing is permanent, where are your temporal anchors? #amwriting

Want More About The Time Addicts Trilogy?

If this article resonates with you, then check out my other articles about this sub-trilogy that’s all about time travel and how it can go more than a little bit, shall we say, ca ca.

Time Addicts Characters:

• Josie James
† Dr. Carmen D’Angelo
• Dalton Farouk
† Tad Lewis
• Cyndi Mendez
† Bobby Brodie
• Keisha Darnell
† Vera Travers

Time Addicts Books:

† No One is Safe
• Nothing is Permanent
† Everything is Up for Grabs

The Obolonk Universe

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Self-Review – Time Addicts: No One is SafeTime Addicts, No One is Safe, Nothing is Permanent, Everything is Up for Grabs

Self-Review – Time Addicts: No One is Safe

Published by Janet Gershen-Siegel on May 11, 2023

Time to Review Time Addicts: No One is Safe

What, exactly, do I mean by ‘no one is safe’?

The trilogy of terms came to me after I had been writing this, the first book, for a few weeks. But then it snapped it all into sharp focus.

So, the premise was, to me, irresistible. What would happen if you could travel in time via the application of drugs? And with the idea of drugs came the idea of addicts.

So, what if people were addicted to time travel?

Background

Josie James is an ordinary cop in the Boston Meg, about 500 years from the present time. But then she gets a semi-mysterious invitation to a large, group job interview.

She’s not dissatisfied, but she is intrigued, as the invitation comes from the OIA—the Orb Intelligence Agency. The OIA is the successor agency to the CIA. The money is off-the-charts excellent. And it looks interesting. But there are a few… irregularities.

Plot

A group is brought together to handle a problem with temporal addiction and the illegal manufacture of time travel drugs. But all is not as it seems, for the illegal acts are organized and may even have an overall purpose.

Characters in Time Addicts: No One is Safe

The characters are Josie James, Dalton Farouk, Keisha Darnell, Bobby Brodie, Tad Lewis, Cyndi Mendez, Dr. Carmen D’Angelo, and Tommy 2000. Plus there’s also Josie’s family, who flit in and out of the storyline.

Plus, we see Kevin O’Connor and his spouse, Addie.

Memorable Quotes from Time Addicts: No One is Safe {Chapter 13; Dalton and Josie are talking; he speaks first}

“Even though. So, tell me, outlaw Josie James, you said plural brothers and sisters. Just how many are we talking about? And more importantly, how many of them can beat me up?”

“You’ll laugh.”

“No, I won’t.” He crossed his heart. “Nonexistent scout’s honor.”

“Okay, you asked for it. I am the youngest of ten.”

He nearly spit his drink. “Holy crap. You already had your own squad the day you were born.”

“Pretty much. As for the beating up part, I’m thinking the only ones who might, maybe, be able to do that are Deb and Em. And they’re twins, so you’d get tag teamed.”

“I see. Why them?”

“They got bit by the farming bug but so did Aaron. But he’s a few years from sixty so I’m thinking his beating up days are over unless it’s a viewer remote when the Pintos lose.”

“Big baseball fan then. So, wait, he’s twentysomething years older than you?”

“Yep. And before you ask, he’s not the outlier; I am. He’s twenty-three years older than me and is the oldest. Going on down to Ian, the ninth in our merry little band, who’s nine years older than me. Aaron’s first born is older than I am by a few months.”

“Whoa. See, me, I’m the eldest. It’s just me and Maryam. She raises schnauzers and shows them. I think our mom’s getting tired of showing, so she and Dad are grooming Maryam to pass the torch and stuff. I’m the Black Sheep of the family, the only one on the force. Or rather I was. What do your folks do?”

She pinched the bridge of her nose and took a swig of coffee before answering. “They died when I was eleven. Skimmer accident over Nereid.”

No One is Safe (from a) Rating

The story has a K+ rating.

Upshot

I loved kicking off this series although I can see places to cut this one. When I ended NaNoWriMo, it was just under 97k words long, and it is should probably go down to the upper 80s or so.

Which timeline is right, when no one is safe? #amwriting

Want More About The Time Addicts Trilogy?

If this article resonates with you, then check out my other articles about this sub-trilogy that’s all about time travel and how it can go more than a little bit, shall we say, ca ca.

Time Addicts Characters:

• Josie James
† Carmen D’Angelo, MD
• Dalton Farouk
† Tad Lewis
• Cyndi Mendez
† Bobby Brodie
• Keisha Darnell
† Vera Travers

Josie’s Family:

• Aaron James
† Avalon (Loni) James
• Bryan James-Rosen
† Harvey James-Rosen
• Chasten James-Rosen
† Ellen James-Rosen
• Matthew James-Rosen
† Connie James
• Deborah James Vinson
† Tyrell Vinson
• Nichelle Vinson
† Troy Vinson
• Emily James
† Frances James Walsh
• Gina Walsh
† Gregory James
• Mercedes Perez James
† Hailey James Shapiro
• Dov Shapiro
† Dinah Shapiro
• Saddik Shapiro
† Ian James

Time Addicts Books:

† No One is Safe
• Nothing is Permanent
† Everything is Up for Grabs

The Obolonk Universe

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Descriptions in Fiction WritingPromotions, Swag, Exposition, Better Dialogue, Character Sexuality, Starting, Personal Writing Process, Starburst Method, how do I write a book, Supporting Indie Authors, Snowflake, Libraries, Descriptions, Ages, Dialogue Tags, Gender Swap, Pocket conflicts, Giveaways, Plotting, mental energy, Character Creation, Scene Setting, Transitioning, Genre Treatments, Easter Eggs, Accents, Plot Creation, Complex evil characters, Bechdel test, Writer Newsletter, Wattpad gets into the Digital Publishing Game, character reviews, Universal Explorations, Libraries, Awards, Social Signals, Blog Community, Query Letter,

Descriptions in Fiction Writing

Published by Janet Gershen-Siegel on May 4, 2023

Descriptions matter. A lot.

All About Descriptions

Descriptions are a must. You need them for any type of writing beyond the barest drabbles. Involve the reader in the piece. And that means pulling descriptive prose out of your head. You must commit it to paper or pixels.

But there is a balancing act that comes along with this. Too much describing turns it all into a boatload of exposition. While you do need some exposition, too much will grind your storyline to a screeching halt.

Scenes

Scene setting is covered elsewhere in this blog. However, that’s closely related to your descriptive abilities. Consider what is important. And try not to turn it into a tour of a city or country (or planet’s) greatest hits.

People

Describe human beings as soon as you can. Unless the character’s appearance is some sort of spoiler, you should get their basics down quickly. Otherwise, your readers will picture one thing and, when they are told something different about the character, it will feel jarring to them.

If I think your Mary character is Asian, and then you later (finally!) tell me she’s a blonde, that has the potential to take me right out of the story.

I will blog about describing people of color elsewhere. For now, just concentrate on basic descriptors. Those are, generally: gender, age range, height, body size and shape, hair color (or baldness), facial hair if appropriate, and eye color. Furthermore, add any unique identifiers. These are a disability or tattoos or the like.

Think about what is normally considered in a standard police lineup. For example, police officers can’t conduct an overly suggestive American police lineup. And it might even be unconstitutional. That is, if the witness claims the suspect is male, then the lineup is no good if it consists of four females (not transmen) and one male.

More Natural Exposition and Descriptions

You don’t have to dump a garbage can full of expository data in the first sentence. A female pronoun or name can give away gender. A nickname might indicate age, such as Junior or Grandma. Maybe you can comment on agility or speed or fatigue in order to get physical condition across.

And height can come up fairly naturally if your character has to reach something on a high shelf, or look up or down at another character. Or maybe they have to determine if they’re tall enough to get onto an amusement park ride.

Any of these is better than a list of vital statistics. Those don’t really come up naturally unless you’re writing about medicine or, maybe, a beauty pageant or a sporting competition.

Aliens

Describe aliens very quickly. The basics should still be your guide. However, you might need to cover other issues, such as whether they can speak or hear, or whether they can breathe our air.

Descriptions: Takeaways

Give your readers as much of the picture as is necessary. Don’t describe the corners of the room unless you need to. But at least tell them there’s a room.

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Writing ExpositionPromotions, Swag, Exposition, Better Dialogue, Character Sexuality, Starting, Personal Writing Process, Starburst Method, how do I write a book, Supporting Indie Authors, Snowflake, Libraries, Descriptions, Ages, Dialogue Tags, Gender Swap, Pocket conflicts, Giveaways, Plotting, mental energy, Character Creation, Scene Setting, Transitioning, Genre Treatments, Easter Eggs, Accents, Plot Creation, Complex evil characters, Bechdel test, Writer Newsletter, Wattpad gets into the Digital Publishing Game, character reviews, Universal Explorations, Libraries, Awards, Social Signals, Blog Community, Query Letter,

Writing Exposition

Published by Janet Gershen-Siegel on May 2, 2023

Exposition Should Be Your Superpower

This is because exposition works.

First of all, exposition basically means a literary device intended to describe a character’s background, or “our story so far”. It can be done elegantly, with flashbacks or dialogue or even a character finding something or other.

It can be clunky, like when characters say, “As you know, …” and then proceed to clue in the reader but then tell the other characters everything they should, logically, already know. For example, one doctor telling another one how chemotherapy works would denote really clunky exposition.

Clunkiness was rather memorably skewered by the Basil Exposition character in Austin Powers, International Man of Mystery. However, you and I don’t want that to happen with our works. So we’ve got to try to be a lot more eloquent. Hence we’ve got to figure out how to clue in our readers in a more natural fashion. So consider your setting.

Using Settings for Exposition

What do I mean by this? Your story’s circumstances and your characters’ specifics might be places to sneak in some background. Are they spies? Spies get briefings. Are they museum goers? Museums have docents (specialized guides) and tours, and they also have guidebooks and even identification for paintings or artifacts. Hikers use trails. Motorists use maps (or GPS, if the time period is right).

There is nothing wrong with a character reading a street sign, either out loud or to themselves.

Here Now the News

Love or hate it, but a character reading a newspaper or listening to radio news or watching it on television can provide a level of exposition to your story which can be seamless and even elegant.

Chapter Titles

When your chapter title is Sunday, August 6, 2017, 11 AM, San Francisco Chinatown, you get across a ton of information in a very short space. And you do so without interrupting the flow of the story unnecessarily.

Character Names and Occupations

These are more subtle, but if your characters have names like Maria, Vito, Anna, Guido, and Antonio, your reader will think Italy or at least an Italian family. If your characters have occupations such as blacksmith, miller, alchemist, and barber surgeon, your reader will think of medieval times.

The New Guy

There is a damned fine reason why a lot of television pilots involve someone coming to a new city or starting a new job. This is because explaining the story and the plot and characters to the new kid in town is perfectly natural.

“Excuse me, but where’s the spaceship parking bay?”

“Oh, it’s next to the mess hall. I’m Dave; I do the regular run to Venus every Thursday.”

It’s natural, it flows, and it doesn’t bog down the story.

Interweaving Exposition

Yet another method is to weave the exposition into the story or the dialog.

“You have great eyes. I love that color blue.”

“My mom always said they looked like the ocean. But I grew up in Kansas and I confess I didn’t see the ocean until I was thirty.”

Or

“You look like hell.” She nodded toward the wound on his arm.

“Oh, you should see the other guy.”

Get it?

Exposition, Scenes, and Character Descriptions

While not 100% the same as character descriptions, your standard bit of exposition is really just another flavor of describing … something. And while it’s a problem if the only time you describe people is when they aren’t white, it’s less of an issue when you don’t go into detail about something we should already know.

A modern day city is likely to have streets with traffic, perhaps outdoor vendors, maybe office buildings, and definitely crowds of people. Mainly, you may need to separate Philadelphia from Mumbai, or the like. For God’s sake, read some maps (and make sure they are for the correct year!) before describing a city you don’t know.

Hell, do that even for a city that you do know. And let me make one thing perfectly clear. Try not to turn it into a travelogue. I can practically guarantee to you that, unless they work there or are showing a tourist around, New Yorkers do not go waltzing into the Empire State Building all the time.

Takeaways

Exposition is truly vital in writing but you need to get it across without a dump of information. Read back your exposition. If it reads like a text book, or it goes on for too long, see about changing it but also about breaking it up. A bit of exposition here and there, even if it’s the same amount as in your big info dump, will stick out a lot less.

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