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Month: February 2022

Character Review — Elise Jeffries, MD

Consider Elise Jeffries, One of My Original Characters

Who is Elise Jeffries?

She sprang, semi-formed, when I was first starting to put together Mettle. I needed for Noah to have a bounce-off person. I also needed to have at least one medical character.

Elise became a runner while I was writing Mettle. That was not my initial idea for her. And so, since I didn’t have a surname for her then, I gave her the last name of a friend who is a marathon runner.

Where Did Elise Jeffries Come From?

By the time I started to put together Mettle, I had already written snarky characters like Peri Martin, Greg Shapiro, and Trixie LaRue.

I had also written LGBTQ+ characters, most notably Ixalla and Tathrelle, in Untrustworthy. So, Elise wasn’t a wholly unfamiliar idea. But her execution was different. In particular, I saw her as being mixed-race but essentially identifying as Black.

The Past is Prologue — Backstory for Elise Jeffries

In Chapter 11 – Sb, Elise reveals that she and Noah have known each other for almost twenty years. That book was written before the pandemic, and originally took place in 2020. Hence they would have met in about 2000 or 2001.

Apart from her divorce from her wife, there’s virtually nothing on Elise’s history. Although I don’t see her as a native New Englander. So, she came from somewhere or other.

Descriptions

My first description of Elise is from Chapter 2 – Ti:

… a dark-skinned woman in her early fifties already seated at the table. Her curly hair sprang in all directions, barely contained by a red bandanna which accessorized a lab coat that had Suffolk County Morgue, E. Jeffries embroidered on the breast pocket.

So, she didn’t have a lot of description, and I don’t believe I ever really rectified that in the book.

For an actress who I would use as inspiration, I originally thought of Angela Bassett. But after seeing Star Trek: Picard, it was Michele Hurd all the way.

Michele Hurd in PicardShe has a good mix of snark and smarts, and feels like she could play a character who swears pretty much nonstop, but is also, most of the time, the smartest person in the room.

Quotes

“But what? Craig, in case you hadn’t noticed, the world is ending or just about there and we are totally isolated and that’s about the best way to describe our situation. We don’t even know if there’s anyone else out there at all when you really think about it. We’ve seen no one else in months, and we sure as hell haven’t heard anyone. So maybe wrap your head around the concept that you should cut one of the last women on Earth a little slack, particularly seeing as you’re not Prince Charming yourself. Go and grab the little gusto you can because God only knows how long we’re gonna be able to sustain this.” (Mettle, Chapter 21 — Nb)

Relationships

Offscreen, Elise is a divorcée, already estranged from her ex-wife, Tony, for a few years when Mettle starts. She and Noah Braverman are extremely good friends. Noah has an idea that he would like more. But Elise is unsure. She doesn’t want to mess up an excellent friendship.

By the time Mettle ends, she still isn’t in a romantic relationship.

Conflict and Turning Point

Much like for the rest of the cast of Mettle, the conflict is a slow burn of how the world is ending as the metals of the period table start to disappear or undergo a transformation.

And, for the rest of the cast, the turning point is the same: the chapter where a vital metallic element starts to transform into … something.

Continuity/Easter Eggs

Much of the book takes place on the real street I live on (the street names have been changed). Elise’s home is an illegal apartment inside an old Victorian which was probably a boarding house at one time. The exterior is a house around the corner which is up an enormous, steep hill.

And the interior ground floor matches the ground floor of a house my husband and I looked at before we bought our home. That building is around the other corner from our home. As for the inside of Elise’s apartment, it’s fairly generic.

Finally, because Elise is a snarky professional woman, I can trace some of her origins back to Marnie Shapiro and even Peri Martin. All three of them could easily spout sarcasm 24/7.

Future Plans

Unfortunately, I don’t have any future plans for her because there are no future plans for any of the characters in Mettle, a one-off. But I like the character, so maybe I’ll give her a backstory one of these days.

Elise Jeffries: Takeaways

This smart, sarcastic character also loves fiercely. She was a lot of fun to bring to life.

Elise Jeffries — because doesn’t your story need a smartass?


Want More of Elise and the Rest of Mettle?

If Mettle resonates with you, then check out my other articles about how changes in the periodic table nearly kill us all.

Character Reviews: Mettle

The Mettle Universe
Self Review: Mettle

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PitMad on Twitter

The Late, Lamented PitMad on Twitter

Oh PitMad, why hast thou forsaken us?

Sadly, I am here to report that PitMad is no more.

So had you ever seen the #PitMad hashtag on Twitter? But, why should you have cared about PitMad?

So, let’s take a look at what PitMad was.

What was #PitMad?

PitMad was a quarterly pitch session on Twitter. So essentially what you would be doing was tweeting about your work. But it was only on specific dates, and agents and publishers were watching.

In addition, it only happened in March, June, September, and December.

It was a great idea. Agents and publishers would essentially scour the Twittersphere, searching for anyone using the hashtag. And, preferably, also using a genre hashtag or two. If an agent liked your pitch, then that was an invitation to query, or at least pitch a bit more.

Your friends could rally around you and offer their support by retweeting your tweets—but liking them was considered to be a faux pas.

When it was still going on, I would dive deep into hashtag and search for people who had not been retweeted much, if at all. And I would retweet them, either with words of encouragement or a comment about how interesting their premise sounded.

And if it were to return, I would do the same. Other writers aren’t my competition. After all, how many books do you have in your home or on your phone or e-reader? How many are in the library? Your book most likely won’t knock mine out of any of those places. And mine won’t do that to yours, either.

Getting Ready With PitMad Hashtags

So you could do yourself a favor, and create your tweets in advance. As in, today.

The idea was to know what to tweet. And you wanted to be able to fit both the #PitMad hashtag into your tweet, but also the hashtag specific to your genre. So, according to Sub It Club and Brenda Drake, the hashtags were as follows:

Main Hashtags for PitMad

  • #AC – Action
  • #AD – Adventure
  • #BIZ – Bizarro Fiction
  • #CON – Contemporary
  • #CR – Contemporary Romance
  • #E – Erotica
  • #ER – Erotic Romance
  • #ES – Erotica Suspense
  • #F – Fantasy
  • #FTA = Fairy Tale Retelling
  • #GN = Graphic Novel
  • #H – Horror
  • #HA – Humor
  • #HF – Historical Fiction
  • #HR – Historical Romance
  • #INSP – Inspirational
  • #LF – Literary Fiction
  • #M – Mystery
  • #MA = Mainstream
  • #Mem – Memoir
  • #MR – Magical Realism
  • #NF – Non-fiction
  • #P – Paranormal
  • #PR – Paranormal Romance
  • #R – Romance
  • #RS – Romantic Suspense
  • #S – Suspense
  • #SF – SciFi
  • #SFF – Science Fiction & Fantasy
  • #SH = Superhero
  • #SHRT = Short Story Collection
  • #SPF = Speculative Fiction
  • #STEM = Science, Technology, Engineering, Mathematics
  • #T – Thriller
  • #TT = Time Travel
  • #UF – Urban Fantasy
  • #VF = Visionary Fiction
  • #W – Westerns
  • #WF – Women’s Fiction

Age Categories

So, per the Pitmad site, you had to use an age category. And here they were:

  • #A – Adult
  • #C – Children’s
  • #CB – Chapter Book
  • #MG – Middle Grade
  • #NA – New Adult
  • #PB – Picture Book (this is the youngest age category)
  • #YA – Young Adult

Added Hashtags (Optional)

  • #DIS = Disability subject matter
  • #IMM = Immigrant
  • #IRMC = Interracial/Multicultural subject matter
  • #LGBT = LGBTQIA+ subject matter
  • #MH = Mental Health subject matter
  • #ND = Neurodiverse subject matter
  • #OWN = Own Voices
  • #POC = Author is a Person of Color

Older Hashtags

  • #AA – African American (might not be used anymore?)
  • #CF – Christian Fiction (might not be used anymore?)

So there did not seem to be particular hashtags for Zombies or Vampires or the like.

What Were The Rules?

Per Ms. Drake and PitchWars (run by the same people), the rules were:

  • You could only pitch complete, polished manuscripts. This meant, no works in progress were allowed!
  • So, you couldn’t pitch anything already published, no matter how many changes had been made to it.
  • You had to keep the feed clear, so you were not supposed to favorite your friends’ pitches. But you could always retweet and even add commentary to the original post with the #PitMad hashtag.
  • Also, you were not supposed to tweet agents or publishers unless they tweeted you first.
  • Plus you had to be courteous and professional, of course.
  • In addition, if you couldn’t be there, you could use HootSuite or TweetDeck to schedule your pitches.
  • You could only pitch three times during a dedicated #PitMad day. And the tweets had to differ somehow, even if it was just a difference of a period.
  • But if you had more than one MS to pitch, you would get three tweets per MS.
  • Finally, if you were invited to submit a manuscript, you had to be sure to put PitMad Request: TITLE in the subject line of your email when sending your request. Plus, of course, you had to follow all other submission guidelines for the requestor.

What was the Schedule?

It was March, June, September, and December. Also, the times were 8 AM – 8 PM, Eastern Time.

For 2021, the dates were:

  • March 4
  • June 3
  • September 2 (hey, that’s my birthday!)
  • December 2

Note: all of these were Thursdays.

Pitmad: Takeaways

So, I am keeping the hashtags in this post because they are still useful on Twitter. Publishers and agents are still there—they’re just not running under the auspices of PitMad anymore.

All in all, there are still many agents and publishers out there. Consequently, you need to get their attention!

So you’d better get crackin’!

And Now a Word About Twitter, in 2023

So, it’s probably just as well that Pitmad has gone to that great tweet in the sky, for Twitter itself is currently on the brink. Of course, that could change tomorrow. But right now, things look a little grim.

However, while there have been some alternatives (I’m looking at you, Post and Mastodon), they are a bit lacking for one reason or another. Mastodon has a ton of individual servers (a bit like Discord). But these seem to be silos. How do you find all your friends? Post seems just to be so new and not very big yet.

So, even if PitMad were to be resurrected, those platforms aren’t necessarily the best new home for it. Perhaps they will be in time. But right now, despite its clear current problems, Twitter still has its place.

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Dialogue Tags — How to Use them the Right Way

“It’s time,” I said, “to talk about dialogue tags.”

What are dialogue tags? Why do they matter? For anyone who writes fiction—and even for a lot of people who write nonfiction—inevitably, a character says something or other.

Yes, yes, I know about picture books. But I’m not talking about them here. They are a rather small subset of the writing experience. And virtually ever other genre is 100% filled with books where there is at least one line of dialogue.

Oh, and if you’re here for social media advice, sorry! This one’s only for writers. Unless dialogue tags float your boat. #NotJudging

What are Dialogue Tags, Anyway?

So, what is it that I’m writing about?

These are the bits of written speech where a person is designated as being the speaker.

Er, what?

“I like cheese,” she said.

Over there ↑, that she said part? That is a dialogue tag.

So, can we pack up this blog post and go home now?

Not yet.

Because this tends to be a very misused part of the writing experience.

It also tends to be a missed opportunity (and yeah, I’ve messed these up, so I feel your pain).

Punctuation

Let’s start here. Get to know and love the humble comma (,). Because it is about to be nearly a 100% go-to for you, when it comes to writing dialogue tags.

However, I must give you one enormous caveat: British, Canadian, Australian, and other non-US English-speaking countries tend to treat punctuation differently from Americans. Neither one is specifically ‘right’ or ‘wrong’. All I can tell you is: pick one style, and stick with it.

Nearly always, these tags are married to at least one comma and often one period as well.

Let’s return to our thrilling example:

“I like cheese,” she said.

See that comma before the closing quotation mark? That sucker there is mandatory. Yeah, you’ve gotta use it, too.

But, but the speaker has made a complete statement. Shouldn’t there be a period there instead? Nope! The period, in this instance, comes after the tag. I’ll get to placement in a moment.

Just know that, nearly always, commas and dialogue tags are the literary equivalent of peanut butter and jelly.

Exceptions

There are not too many. One is body language attributions, which I will also get to later. But another is the incomplete or interrupted sentence. Such as:

“I like—” she said.

Now, can you use an ellipsis (…) instead of an emdash (—)? Eh, maybe. But I like the emdash, and I feel it looks cleaner. I’m not the only one.

And, apart from looking cleaner, it is very easy to become what is essentially an emdash addict. FYI, this is a longer dash than the one which MS Word gives you if you toss a hyphen between two spaces, or you smash two hyphens together (those are endashes).

You can make it by typing alt-0151. And if you ever need to make the shorter endash, that’s just alt-0150. Technically, the endash is used for a range of numbers or dates.

So, if you’re interrupting speech, either with an aside, or action, or other dialogue, you can use an emdash.

Examples

Here’s one (interrupted speech):

“I like—” she said.

Here’s another (interruption with other dialogue):

“I like—”

“You like everything.”

And here’s a third (speech interrupts the action):

She opened the fridge door— “I like cheese”—and all the dairy promptly fell out and onto the kitchen floor.

But again—for the cheap seats (see how easy it is to get addicted to emdashes? I need help)—almost always, you’ll use a comma.

Toss Your Dialogue Tags Up Front and Introduce the Speaker Immediately

There are three separate places where you can put dialogue tags. The beginning, middle, or the end. And no, I am not being facetious here. So, let’s start at the, well, the start.

She said, “I like cheese.”

There ya go. As with nearly any initial letter in a sentence, the s in she is capitalized. Then, after the verb comes the comma. And then, the quotation marks and your glorious sentence of speech.

Mary said, “I like cheese.”

Immediately, we know the speaker.

But try not to use this construction:

Said Mary, “I like cheese.”

That is, unless you’re trying to imitate more archaic forms of writing. To most of us, it sounds and looks wrong (even though, technically, it’s okay). Avoid this and you won’t trip up your readers.

Let’s move further into the sentence.

Middle Placement—and How it Can Help You Avoid Emdashes and Other Interruptions

Heh. But seriously, folks, the overuse of anything in fiction is not a good idea. So, how do you interrupt speech with dialogue tags? By shoveling them into the middle, of course!

“I like cheese,” she said, “and I also like lettuce.”

If the speech was all together, then it would look like this:

“I like cheese, and I also like lettuce.”

This speech is a compound sentence, which means it’s just two separate, complete thoughts, bound together by a comma, which is directly followed by a conjunction (fan, and, nor, but, or, yet, so are the big ones. And yes, the acronym is fanboys).

You can use this method for two separate sentences, too.

“I like cheese,” she said. “I also like lettuce.”

Whoa! Wait a second. There’s a period there.

Well, of course there is. Because if the speech was kept together, it would look like this:

“I like cheese. I also like lettuce.”

No comma, no conjunction? Then in this instance, it’s just a pair of simple sentences. Hence the dialogue tag picks up the period.

Tossing dialogue tags in the middle is one way to create a level of drama, because the reader naturally pauses (this is also why so many of us love emdashes, but I digress).

Middle placement is also great when someone talks for a long time. Lots and lots of speaking in one shot can be harder to read. Hence, adding dialogue tags in the center gives the reader a break.

Caboose Dialogue Tags—Save ’em for the Bitter End

This is a very common usage. Now, our speech reads:

“I like cheese,” Mary said.

Or

“I like cheese,” said Mary.

Either is fine. You can mix those up until the cows come home.

There is one disadvantage to this. Unless the reader can immediately infer who’s speaking, they might start reading, thinking it’s John who’s talking. But then they get to the end and, oops, it’s really Mary declaring her love of dairy products.

I wouldn’t recommend putting dialogue tags at the end of very long speeches, either. It helps the reader out a lot more for the speech to either be interrupted by a tag or at least introduced by one.

No Dialogue Tags? No Problem!

Tired of using them? It’s okay. There are times when you can avoid them entirely.

If you’re good at differentiating your speakers, then at least some of your speech can go without dialogue tags.

“Mary, you’re being selfish, hogging all the cheese.”

“No, John, you will never come between me and my dairy addiction.”

“But sweetie, I was saving that cheese for our anniversary.”

Or whatever (this example has taken a turn, eh?).

But people don’t normally say each others’ names that often in realistic speech. Still, if you can make the speaker obvious, you can probably scotch a few dialogue tags. One way to do so is with what they say. Another is with how they say it.

Maybe John is from the sticks and has a thick accent.

“But sweetie, I was savin’ that thar cheese for our anniversary.”

But beware: overdoing accents and dropping letters and using dialect will not endear you to your readers.

Let’s have Mary tell us she’s speaking without using a tag or saying John’s name:

“No, you will never come between me and my dairy addiction. I’ve craved it throughout my pregnancy.”

Or

“… ever since I was in Girl Scouts.”

If you prefer.

I would also caution you: no matter how fabulously unique your characters’ speech patterns are, don’t lose all the dialogue tags. That way, readers won’t lose their place.

Body Language Attributions Instead of Dialogue Tags

Er, what?

A body language attribution is when you toss out said and go with an action instead.

“I like cheese.” Mary winked at the cheesemonger, and hitched up her skirt.

Or:

John threw the brie across the room. “How ya like your cheese now?”

Or:

“We’ve got a lovely camembert.” Dave the cheesemonger glanced around. “Are you sure your husband didn’t follow you into the shop?”

Showing Over Telling with BLAs (Body Language Attributions)

Using BLAs is directly related to showing versus telling. Mary’s flirtatious. We can tell this immediately from her wink and her flashing a little leg. John’s angry. We can tell this because he threw the cheese and then the follow-up line reads as angry sarcasm. Dave’s nervous. His looking around isn’t enough to tell us that. But the second half of his dialogue makes his jitters a lot clearer to the reader.

BLAs add interest to a story, and they work as a supplement to standard dialogue tags.

Mary smiled, but there was lipstick on her teeth. “I got to the shop as fast as I could. Do you think John followed me?”

What does the lipstick on Mary’s teeth mean? Maybe she was in a rush, which she says in her speech. Or she could also be nervous, which the second line of speech tells us.

“Just how tall did you say your husband is?” Dave wiped the sweat from his brow.

Now Dave’s not just nervous. He’s scared, too.

John paced around the room. “Where did Mary go?” He punched the wall and gouged a hole in the cheap drywall.

John’s doing more than wondering. He is mad as hell. The brie might not be the only thing that goes flying. But without the BLAs, his question feels innocent and caring.

Now, let’s address something you may or may not have noticed—and don’t worry if you didn’t see it.

Say, Say, Say

For every one of these dialogue tags, I used a form of the verb to say. But, but—I hear you cry—that’s so boring!

dialogue tags

Fret not.

Boring is kinda the point.

Wait, what?

Repeat after me:

The dialogue tags are not as important as the dialogue.

Seriously.

Using to say (and its forms) is economical and unobtrusive. Here’s what happens when you don’t:

“I like cheese,” Mary breathed.

John hissed, “How ya like your cheese now?”

“We’ve got a lovely camembert,” Dave stated. “Are you sure your husband didn’t follow you into the shop?”

“Maybe,” Mary screeched.

Dave babbled, “I’m a dead man.”

“Yer darn tootin’,” announced John.

It’s too much, isn’t it? And if it doesn’t feel like too much, then feel free to grab my stellar—heh—prose and add several more lines of dialogue. And use a thesaurus to lard it up with a bunch of words that call far too much attention to themselves.

I know, I know, you love your SAT words. I’m a fan of them, too. But they’re a lot like habanero peppers. A few touches here and there are lovely. Too many, and you end up in the Emergency Room.

A little is enough.

Exceptions to Say

It wouldn’t be a rule if it didn’t have exceptions. To say will work about 85% of the time. What about the other 15%?

A good 10% of the overall should be forms of the verb to ask. Not inquire. Ask.

That last 5%? 4.5% should go to terms like whisper and shout (and many of shout’s synonyms, like yell, holler, and scream). These are useful because they do more than act as dialogue tags. They are also a form of body language attribution.

And that final .5%? Knock yourself out with your SAT words, if you like. You’ll probably find you don’t miss them much, or that they have a lot more power when they have a lot less volume.

“Where were you last night?” John demanded.

“N-nowhere,” Mary sobbed.

“She’s in love with me and my cheese,” Dave revealed.

Sprinkle, don’t shovel.

Dialogue Tags: Takeaways

Use a form of to say almost all the time, and use a form of to ask for any questioning. Anchor with a comma at the start or end, and with two commas (one on either side) if you’re putting dialogue tags in the middle of sentences or paragraphs. Break it up by varying where you put the tags, and even drop them altogether if the speaker’s identity is clear. Spice up your prose with body language attributions. Use alternative speech verbs sparingly.

Which Dialogue Tags to Use How often?
To say and its forms 85.00%
To ask and its forms 15.00%
Whisper and shout (and its synonyms) and their forms   4.50%
Other verbs    0.50%
TOTAL 100.00%

And now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to make a grilled cheese sandwich.


Dialogue Tags—make them work for you!

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Character Review — Ixalla

Consider Ixalla, One of My Original Characters

Who is Ixalla?

When I first started to write Untrustworthy, the idea what that Tathrelle was going to be the main character. But I fell in love with Ixalla. Now, Tathrelle is still the protagonist. But her wife became something more while I was writing her.

Where Did Ixalla Come From?

The circumstances under which I wrote Untrustworthy are maybe a little odd. The main idea for the book came to me in a dream, as some of my book ideas have. But initially, the only ‘face’ I saw was Tathrelle’s.

In fact, there originally wasn’t a lesbian relationship. But as I got to know the characters and the plot (and keep in mind, I was writing this during 2013 NaNoWriMo, so everything happened a lot faster than it usually would), Ixalla started to take on more importance.

The Past is Prologue — Backstory for Ixalla

The truth is, there isn’t much of one. Unlike Tathrelle, Ixalla just kind of appears fully formed, as if she was the armored Athena springing from the head of Zeus.

When the story starts, all we really know about her, apart from her being pregnant, is that she’s a schoolteacher. She teaches the Tenth Form which is meant to be the high school level.

Description

Without giving away too much of the plot of Untrustworthy, Ixalla’s appearance does change within the context of the story. When we first see her, she has blonde hair and blue eyes. But later, she has brown hair, and reddish eyes.

Oh, did I mention that she’s an alien?

Yep, Ixalla is a Cabossian. There are no humans in that book. None!

So, there’s really no actress who I can point to and say, “That’s Ixalla.”

As for how she sounds, the aliens in this book have very stilted speech—and that’s the idea. They’re aliens. They shouldn’t be talking, acting, or looking like us.

Quotes

“Student Number Five!” Ixalla exclaimed, “I will remind you of the rules. You are referred to by a youthful number and not by name, and there is a very good reason for this. It is because students have varying degrees of wealth and status. By using your youthful number designations – and those are your classroom designations, and not your actual numbers, which will come when you are of age – we can educate everyone, regardless of whether their parents are in the government or drive a transportation sleigh. As a result, you cannot speak about what either of your parents does, or even if both of your parents are male, or they are both female, or if they are mixed. I trust I make myself clear? Or would you prefer having the Lead Educator explain it to you again?”

Relationships

Ixalla’s main relationship is with Tathrelle. But as the book goes on, Tathrelle is essentially taken away from her. When Ixalla leaves, an authority officer flirts with her. But it’s nothing serious.

And even later, she essentially adopts two lost children. One is just called Student Number Seventeen, whereas the other has even less of a designation. I just called her the Unknown Girl.

Conflict and Turning Point

Even though she’s technically not the main character, Ixalla essentially picks up the main thread of the narrative. She acts as the main character whenever Tathrelle is off-screen. Hence the conflict for her is virtually the same as Tathrelle’s—something is changing their world, and those changes are not for the better.

For Ixalla, the turning point comes when she arrives at the school drunk and yells at the Tenth Form. She starts off as an outsider and spectator and the kind of person who doesn’t get involved.

And then she becomes a revolutionary.

Continuity/Easter Eggs

This work has the least amount of continuity with my other works, as it kind of can’t. The characters are far too different and the scenario is way too dissimilar. Hence there’s little to no continuity with her, or cross-referencing.

One of the closest characters to her in another universe is possibly Elise Jeffries in Mettle. Elise is just as intelligent and is also a not-so-main character who gets a lot of airtime anyway. But that’s about where any similarities end.

Future Plans

Again, without getting into spoiler territory too much, I can’t have future plans for this character because the book is, at heart, a tragedy.

But I love her spirit, how she goes from being domestic and intellectual to a street smart, resourceful, scrounging survivor.

Ixalla and Future Inspiration

For this character, I think the main form of inspiration I can get from her is the idea that a character can even surprise the writer. You may have certain plans, but it’s the character’s voice and the character’s desires that will win out in the end.

Ixalla showed me that she was more than just a place to bounce Tathrelle’s thoughts off. And once she had showed me that, she became three-dimensional.

Ixalla: Takeaways

For this character, perhaps my favorite bit about her is that she was never intended to be this big and this vital. But after a few days of writing her and Untrustworthy, the genie was out of the bottle, and she became more.

Ixalla—for when you need a revolutionary in your prose.


Want More of Ixalla and the Rest of Untrustworthy?

If Untrustworthy resonates with you, then check out my other articles about how an alien society devolves into fascism.

Character Reviews: Untrustworthy

Untrustworthy Universe

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Writing Various Ages

Let’s Look at Writing Various Ages

Ages change if we write about more than a year in a character’s life. And we can also find we are writing a clash of them, as parents and their offspring collide, or teachers and students collide.

Infants and Toddlers

The very young can change in rather rapid and surprising ways. Fortunately, any number of developmental charts exist to give you an idea of what a baby or child can do at a certain stage. Hence, for example, a newborn should not hold his or her head up unless they have help or you are writing some sort of fantasy. Furthermore, while these charts give an idea of what to expect, they’re not laws.

Kids develop at their own paces. So recognize that while your newborn character holding her head up is probably not going to be believable, you can still write a range for these milestones. Furthermore, you can also use standard milestones as a way to signal problems with a baby, such as by showing the reader a child who should be crawling as barely holding his head up.

Preschoolers and Elementary School Children

The start of school is a major event in a young child’s life. And so are other firsts, such as learning to read and beginning to really socialize. And their vocabularies are growing as their worlds continue to expand.

By this time, they probably have a good idea of their sexuality even if girls are icky and boys are gross.

Tweens and Teens

As with younger children, these older kids have their own developmental milestones. Puberty in girls comes with not only the development of secondary sex characteristics, but also menarche. Adolescence in boys can arrive later than in girls. Or maybe we’re all just socially conditioned to believe that. Hmmm…

Writing a historical novel? Then recognize that menarche (a girl’s first menstrual period) occurs about three years earlier now than it did a century ago, due to, among other things, better nutrition.

Kids in these age groups tend to start to get interested in relationships (although asexual folks beg to differ) and everything can be ultra-dramatic. Some may be losing their virginity or facing pregnancy issues. And others might be late bloomers, wondering why things are happening to everyone but them.

Still others may be finding out they’re asexual or aromantic.

Our present-day culture attaches a number of privileges to this time, including becoming old enough to drive, work, drink, marry, go to war, and even vote.

Young Adults

Young adults taper off from teenaged drama as they generally begin higher education or work or join the military. Their high school relationships might not survive long distance and college. They might go wild for their first time away from home. Maybe drugs and alcohol are suddenly freely available. And maybe sex is possible more often, particularly as they may be able to find more private spaces.

Or maybe they buckle down, get jobs and apartments. Some might marry, some might have children, and those sets don’t necessarily fully intersect.

Adults in Their Thirties

Not everyone has children, but by this time most people have finished their educations. And many of them are settling into work or into long-term relationships. Those with children have everything from infants to elementary schoolers, for the most part.

Furthermore, they may be starting to see their peers divorcing or even dying, and they may be seeing their parents starting to become frail.

Adults in Their Forties: Welcome to the Middle Ages

The kids – if they have any – are older, and starting to think about colleges, or at least are preparing and tracking one way or the other. Divorced folks (or those never married or in long-term relationships) may find it harder to find love. Perimenopause is common.

And for some people, this is the decade of early-onset Alzheimer’s.

Adults in Their Fifties

Things break, and people may find it harder to run or walk if knees or hips begin to go. Women go through menopause if they haven’t already. People may find they are paying for earlier mistakes made with too much tanning, or smoking, or poor nutrition or dental care. And their own parents are generally elderly if they still number among the living.

Pretty much everyone has clear signs of aging by now. These include crow’s feet, creaky knees, gray or white hair (or balding), or age spots on their hands.

Furthermore, this can also be the start of the era of the grandparent, or at least of seeing their children graduate, marry or form long-term bonds, and start to get on their own two feet (with exceptions, of course). However, it can also be a time of significant work responsibilities and stress. Hence some may suffer heart attacks or need coronary bypass surgery.

Adults in Their Sixties

It’s the countdown to retirement! And if a person hasn’t saved enough money, that countdown will take a lot longer. However, younger-feeling adults can do well for quite a while, so long as they maintain healthy lifestyles. This is the age of the so-called ‘young-old’. Yet one in nine people aged 65 and older have Alzheimer’s.

Also, if these adults have parents who are still alive, those parents are pretty much guaranteed to be frail. So, these adults may be finding themselves taking over their parents’ finances or taking away the car keys.

Adults in Their Seventies: the Young-Old Ages

These are generally still young-old people. However, this is also a stage when cancer diagnoses become more common. Alzheimer’s incidence is highest in this age group (it’s 44% for ages 75 – 84) and, because Alzheimer’s has a 4 – 8 year average span, many of those people won’t make it to their eighties.

Now, it’s exceptionally rare for anyone to have a living parent, although that’s not 100% impossible. And if the generations are particularly short (as in, having kids in one’s teens or very early twenties), a few of these people may even start to welcome great-grandchildren.

Adults in Their Eighties

If they’ve gone past age 84 and not contracted Alzheimer’s, the incidence drops to 38%. But there can be other forms of dementia. New cancer cases also drop, but that might simply mean a person already had cancer and is now suffering from a recurrence.

Even more people in this age group may have grandchildren or even great-grandchildren. Or they might be great-aunts and great-uncles or even great-grand aunts and uncles. Work should be long past them, and they may be considering mortality and their estates.

Life expectancy varies, but a man aged 65 today can expect, on average, to reach 84.3 years of age. And a woman aged 65 today can expect, on average, to make it to 86.6.

How many will still have at least one living parent? There are a few but their numbers are very small. And yes, there’s an occasional person in their nineties with at least one living parent. But that’s just about getting to be the stuff of record books.

The Nineties and Beyond – the Ages Near the End of the Line

It is harder to avoid some sort of mobility or memory issue by this age group. Adults in this group are usually no longer fully in charge of their own money. It’s rare for anyone to be driving at this age. And living conditions are generally going to mean either being cared for by a professional aide or family member, or independent or assisted living—or memory care.

Being cared for can happen in a person’s own house or apartment, or in a relative’s, or in a community or retirement home. Adults in this age group may have issues with toileting, showers, and shopping for necessities. Travel can be tough. Falls are scary, as are hospital stays. Either can end up being fatal.

A gender disparity becomes extremely pronounced by this time. How many men are there to women? Per the US Census in 2011, it’s 38 men for every 100 women. For ages 95 – 99, it drops to 26 to 100. And in the hundreds, the ratio of men to women is 24 to 100.

Also according to that same study, the nineties are overwhelmingly white, at 88.1%. But for all ages in the US, whites are about 75% of the population.

What’s the Uppermost Limit?

We… don’t really know. Maybe there isn’t one. But as of the writing of this blog post, the oldest person to have ever lived (where the age was independently verified) was Jeanne Calment, who lived to about 122 and a half.  But she’s the only person verified to have survived past age 120.

Also, the eight people with the longest verified lifespans were all women. The oldest man ever? He only made it to 116. But to crack the top eight, you’ve got to make it to 117 and about four months.

How Do You Get More People to Make it to the Oldest Possible Ages?

What makes a person more likely to make it to, say, 110? Or just (just!) 100? Here are a few vital factors in real life; perhaps you can use them in fiction.

Medical and Healthcare-Related Help

  • Vaccinations – with many childhood diseases close to being wiped out (don’t get me started on the anti-vax crowd), people make it past age two. It may not seem like much, but it’s one of the first hurdles.
  • Antibiotics – as a result of having antibiotics, many if not most infections don’t kill people. Of course, this is all dependent upon not unleashing pathogens that are resistant.
  • Good nutrition – get enough vitamin C (citrus and other fruits and vegetables, mainly), and you won’t get scurvy. Get enough vitamin D (seafood is a good source) and you’ll avoid, among other problems, osteoporosis. Or at least it won’t have an early onset. Exercise is important, too.

Societal and Invention-Related Help

  • Safety belts and airbags – these devices save the lives of millions of people every single year.
  • Drug purity laws – one of the reasons a lot of illegal drugs are so lethal is what they’re cut with. But the legal stuff has to be pure, and manufacturers are subject to inspections.
  • Companionship – mental health is vital to longer life! So, mental health treatment is also important. Preventing suicides will, of course, prolong lives.
  • Gun control – argue with me all you like, if you’re so inclined. But fewer guns mean fewer stray bullets, unlocked cabinets, etc.
  • Fair and equitable (and vigilant) law enforcement – getting drunk drivers off the roads and keeping neighborhoods safe from prowlers is another preventative measure.

Of course, there are others. But these are a start. If your characters are missing one or more of these conditions, then the society you’re wrapping them around won’t have as many people making it to a ridiculously old age, if anyone.

Ages and Takeaways

So, what does this all mean when it comes to writing? Beyond the obvious issues of childhood developmental stages, a character of a certain age can be expected to have certain ailments, opportunities, relationships, injuries, responsibilities, and concerns.

In fact, society will make judgments on a person’s age, so be prepared for your readers to judge your characters based on their ages.

Ages matter. Character ages make a difference. And understanding general differences among ages can make your characters even more believable.

Oh, and please don’t give all the good lines and all the adventure to the very young. They shouldn’t be the only characters of yours who get to have any fun.

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