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I review my own work all the time. But why? Isn’t editing enough? Welll, not quite.

Why Review, Ever?

Beyond standard editing, I think it is important to kind of see the forest amidst that big ole bunch o’ trees.

Editing, I feel, is more for the weeds and the trees. It is, in essence, the nitty gritty guts of a piece.

It’s selecting the word luggage instead of the word baggage, for example. I had to do this for The Real Heart of the Universe.

But reviewing, I feel, is a whole other ball of wax.

Here, I feel, there is a space to get a faraway, bird’s eye view of the piece.

Did the characters work? Did the plot move along well? And did the conclusion satisfy?

I feel that reviewing is also where I start to see the similarities in my works, even when a shared universe is not my intention.

A review is a good place to spot and to highlight Easter eggs in my work, as well.

When is the Best Time for Reviewing?

I would say the piece has to be more or less complete. But it does not have to have a bow on it or be published, etc. And I do not necessarily think that it even has to have gone to beta readers.

Do not hesitate! If you want to check your work in this particular fashion, then you have my blessing, for what it’s worth.

You do you.

What Does Reviewing Accomplish?

Probably the best part of this kind of an exercise is that it can be a great place to spot plot holes. And plot holes are essentially opportunities.

Consider your standard fan fiction writer, if you will.

The show or film or book has a fade to black for a love scene. But the fan ficcer wants to make it clearer as to exactly what happened. That fade to black is an ideal opportunity.

Now, of course it does not have to be about a love or a sex scene. But look for the gaps. You might just find a sequel or a prequel in them—and you would never know that unless you reviewed your work!

Self-Review – The InterviewShort Stories, Road, My Aliens, Last Patient, interview, Surprises, Props, shipwrecked, child, Killing Us Softly, Ditte, Band, three minutes, Longest Night Watch, Nothing Good Ever Happens, Complications, Your Call, Darkness into Light, canaries, gentrification, Cynthia, True Believer, Short Stories, Wilder Bloom, Dish, Mitalisque, kitten, Last Try, Minnesota Wish, Dominick and Angela, Alix, Alix’s Apocalypse, A Chance Encounter in Time, A Crime in Time, A Show for the Galaxy, Alien Justice, And the Band Played the Apocalypse, Babel 2.0, Side Pages, Frozen Assets, Julie's Dollar, Mandy Goes to Aspen, Martin's Choice, Mike’s Grades, Out of the Work Camp Frying Pan, Sarah’s Invention, Small Acts of Defiance, The Future Has No Foundation, Unexpected Help, You Will Drink Your Coffee and Like It, Unreliable, East Side of the Universe, Eros vs Thanatos, Dust Between Our Stars, A Show for the Galaxy, A Fairy Tale for Skeptical Adults, A School for Scavengers, Frozen Assets, Out of the Work Camp Frying Pan, 1960s Temporal Crimes, Lizzie Borden is Vital to the Timeline, Walls Came Tumbling Down Again, The End, Will's Dog, Building Trust, Message in an Odd Bottle, The New Kid, What's an Animal, A Touch of Gray Hair, Guilty of Imperfection, Jared's World Turned Upside Down, Caring for Carole, Nuremberg Redux, Art Has All Sorts of Effects, When Russia Invaded Texas, Failure, Tumble in a Tomb, Beauty is Only Earth Deep, Peddler, Escape Violinist, Shimmering Wasteland, Cave Canem and Cave, Skating, Uninformed, Stellar Stowaway, dinosaurs, fragments, none of this is real, buzz, quartz, water, verity, quarrel, rivalry, breakout,

Self-Review – The Interview

Published by Janet Gershen-Siegel on September 19, 2023

My Review of My Short Story – The Interview

The Interview came about because I conjured up a kicker of an opening line. So then it immediately started to fall into place.

Background

Since I have been on countless job interviews, this one was rather easy to write. So I brought forth a memory I have of an interview being conducted over lunch. It was an odd situation. Two guys met with me and neither of them ate anytime. I ate Caesar salad by myself.

Also, as I recall, they were supposed to take me to some swanky-ish place. But instead, we went to Pizzeria Uno. At that moment, I should have known damned well it was not going to go well.

Plot of The Interview

The narrator meets a woman who runs an agency which hunts demons. And then things go a little haywire from there. In particular, during their meeting, the narrator gives away how she can sense demons. So this is vital information. But not when the story ends, it isn’t. Then it turns into an albatross around her neck.

As for the restaurant, it is a combination of a number of places I have been to. The parking lot, in particular, is from Jasper White’s Summer Shack in Cambridge, Massachusetts. But with the wine steward and all, the pretend restaurant in The Interview is a lot more hoity-toity.

Characters

The characters are the narrator and the head of the agency.  The narrator is the interviewee.

Memorable Quotes from The Interview

“So, how long have you wanted to hunt demons?” The question hung in the air for a second.

The job interview was being conducted over lunch and I had just taken in a big forkful of Fettuccine Alfredo. I washed it down with iced tea, swallowed, wiped my mouth, and tried not to look stupid. “It’s since I was just out of school. My classmates didn’t see them. But I did.”

Rating

The Interview has a K rating. While there is some menace behind it, nothing violent happens “on screen”.

Upshot

I was so happy when The Interview was the featured story in the December 14, 2018 edition of Theme of Absence. So they even interviewed me! Canaries is another story in Theme of Absence. So I guess they like me.

Fortunately I have never had an interview quite like this. #amediting

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Self-Review – MettleMettle Universe Draft Cover

Self-Review – Mettle

Published by Janet Gershen-Siegel on September 14, 2023

Review – Mettle

Mettle is a punny title. And it just may be one of the best things I have ever written. Yes, really.

The story sprung out of a dream I had where my wedding ring dissolved while still on my hand. Amateur psychologists, take note!

It also came from reading about the 1816 ‘Year Without a Summer‘.

I had the basic plot sketched out in an afternoon. I don’t believe I have ever gotten a book together that fast. And I probably won’t ever again, although The Duck in the Seat Cushion comes close. This was just an insane creativity timeline.

And throughout the writing of this book, I felt like I was taking dictation.

So the characters are a mix. Some of them came very quickly. Craig Firenze sprang, almost fully formed, and almost immediately. I heard his voice the loudest and the clearest.

Then, as I recall, came Elise Jeffries, Nell Murphy, and Noah Braverman. Kitty Kowalski and Mink Lopez arrived together — Kitty and Mink. But the others took longer. However, I had Mei-Lin’s name pretty early on. But I did not know too much about the character to start.

Background

This story was exceptionally easy to outline. I changed nearly nothing. The storyline came to me, I wrote it down quickly, and then added a few little flourishes. I made sure it was in a coherent order. And then it was ready.

Which is amazing and kind of rare, seeing as I had struggled over the Time Addicts outline for Everything is Up For Grabs. In fact, even Untrustworthy was harder to put together.

Plot

In early 2020 (this date will likely change), Mount Tambora erupts as an earthquake hits Southeast Asia. So which came first? That’s sort of irrelevant, as a huge pyroclastic cloud springs up. This cloud blocks out a lot of sunlight and starlight. The world gets colder, and considerably dimmer.

Yet at the same time, Chinese students claim their experiments on chromium changed when the chromium somehow converted to vanadium. But that story about possible real-life alchemy is buried. Because Tambora and the earthquake are front page news.

When more elements start to convert to vanadium, people notice and experience the effects. This includes the loss of gold, which hits financial markets hard. And losses of plutonium and uranium, which put countries on high alert, afraid of a nuclear war.

The more things change, the harder it is to live the way we all used to. So, keep in mind that the quoted scene, below, takes place after the power goes out.

Characters

Mettle was an odd story for me because there almost isn’t a main character. Instead, the point of view shifts from chapter to chapter. The character with the most ‘screen time’ is probably Colonel Craig Firenze, but the more observational sections tend to come from Nell Murphy.

The scene is mostly Brighton, Massachusetts, although there are some scenes in Houston or in downtown Boston, plus a chapter is set mainly on an aircraft flying from Houston.

In a lot of ways, the story more or less takes place in my house.

There are about a dozen characters of note, mainly listed here in order of importance:

• Craig Firenze
† Nell Murphy
• Noah Braverman
† Eleanor Braverman
• Olga Nicolaev
† Elise Jeffries
• Mei-Lin Quan, MD
† Dez Hunter
• Minka Lopez
† Kitty Kowalski
• Jeannie Scutter Firenze
† Chet McKey
• Jerome Cordry
† Jackie (no last name)
• Shelley (no last name)

There are a few other characters who I name, but the reader sees these the most, although Jackie and Shelley are only in one chapter. Which happens to be the same chapter. The last six on the list do not get a POV chapter. Although Kitty will likely get one for the prequel. And Jeannie might, assuming I have more story to tell.

Memorable Quotes from Mettle

He started to dump the corn into a bowl.

Mink came into the kitchen. “What’s left in the cabinets?”

“Green beans, some tuna, I think I saw tomato paste in there,” Dez said as Mink opened the cabinets and started to look for herself.

“There’s pumpkin pie filling, too, and we still have peanut butter. I wish we had bread.”

“Want some corn?” He offered her the second bowl and fork.

“Yeah, sure, thanks.” He dumped about half of his bowlful into her bowl. “Kitty, what are you gonna have?”

“I want French toast.”

“If we had eggs, we could make French toast, if we had bread. And a working toaster. Aunt Doreen used to say shit like that.”

“Yeah, she’s hysterical,” Kitty sniped. “This blows.”

Mink just shrugged and ate as did Dez. When they were done, she bussed the dishes to the sink and washed them, and then started to wash the other dishes. “Man oh man, we don’t have to live like pigs. Can somebody dry?”

Kitty made a beeline out of the kitchen. Dez came over. “Just leave ‘em on the rack. I can get ‘em later.”

Rating for Mettle

Let me make this perfectly clear: Mettle has an MA rating. I am not kidding. While there are no sex scenes (a few are implied, though), every single main character has a potty mouth.

Plus there are any number of violent scenes. Some are more graphic than others but the worst should be rather disturbing.

I 100% mean this. Enter at your own risk if you don’t believe me.

Upshot

One thing which was great fun about this story was writing it with 9 1/2 points of view. I say a half because the first chapter is mainly news stories and flits from person to person and scene to scene. So that one doesn’t quite count. And with rewrites, I have changed it to add little scenelets but the common thread is still the news.

Each chapter worked as a separate POV. This is a style of writing I had not attempted before. And I found it exhilarating but it’s important to not confuse the reader. So I would really love to get beta readers on this one!

Wouldn’t the end of the world test anyone’s mettle? #amwriting

Click to buy Untrustworthy on Amazon

Want More of Mettle?

If Mettle resonates with you, then check out my other blog posts and pages about how changes in the periodic table nearly kill us all.

Character Reviews: Mettle

† Eleanor Braverman
• Noah Braverman
† Craig Firenze
• Dez Hunter
† Dr. Elise Jeffries
• Minka Lopez
† Nell Murphy
• Olga Nicolaev
† Dr. Mei-Lin Quan

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Self-Review – The Last PatientShort Stories, Road, My Aliens, Last Patient, interview, Surprises, Props, shipwrecked, child, Killing Us Softly, Ditte, Band, three minutes, Longest Night Watch, Nothing Good Ever Happens, Complications, Your Call, Darkness into Light, canaries, gentrification, Cynthia, True Believer, Short Stories, Wilder Bloom, Dish, Mitalisque, kitten, Last Try, Minnesota Wish, Dominick and Angela, Alix, Alix’s Apocalypse, A Chance Encounter in Time, A Crime in Time, A Show for the Galaxy, Alien Justice, And the Band Played the Apocalypse, Babel 2.0, Side Pages, Frozen Assets, Julie's Dollar, Mandy Goes to Aspen, Martin's Choice, Mike’s Grades, Out of the Work Camp Frying Pan, Sarah’s Invention, Small Acts of Defiance, The Future Has No Foundation, Unexpected Help, You Will Drink Your Coffee and Like It, Unreliable, East Side of the Universe, Eros vs Thanatos, Dust Between Our Stars, A Show for the Galaxy, A Fairy Tale for Skeptical Adults, A School for Scavengers, Frozen Assets, Out of the Work Camp Frying Pan, 1960s Temporal Crimes, Lizzie Borden is Vital to the Timeline, Walls Came Tumbling Down Again, The End, Will's Dog, Building Trust, Message in an Odd Bottle, The New Kid, What's an Animal, A Touch of Gray Hair, Guilty of Imperfection, Jared's World Turned Upside Down, Caring for Carole, Nuremberg Redux, Art Has All Sorts of Effects, When Russia Invaded Texas, Failure, Tumble in a Tomb, Beauty is Only Earth Deep, Peddler, Escape Violinist, Shimmering Wasteland, Cave Canem and Cave, Skating, Uninformed, Stellar Stowaway, dinosaurs, fragments, none of this is real, buzz, quartz, water, verity, quarrel, rivalry, breakout,

Self-Review – The Last Patient

Published by Janet Gershen-Siegel on September 12, 2023

Review – The Last Patient

The Last Patient was a story I wrote for the Stardust, Always anthology. All of the proceeds go to the American Cancer Society. Please give generously, even if you never buy the book. Cancer is horrid, and I have seen what it can really do to people. Let’s end this scourge in our lifetimes.

This short story is based on real events from my life.

Background

When I was in my first two years of college, I had a therapist. He was a fun guy; I liked him. Then I left Boston for the summer between sophomore and junior year. Yet when I returned, I noticed he was more stooped and paler. He seemed to be tired and weak.

I asked him what was wrong and he told me he had lung cancer. Keep in mind, this was late 1981 and that was essentially a death sentence.

I saw Dr. Brodie a few more weeks, with our last session happening before Halloween of that year. He told me that he didn’t want to see his other patients, who were all a lot older. At age nineteen, he felt I was lively and that helped him. He told me that I was his last patient.

Plot

I lifted this story directly from my memories: hook, line, and sinker. A few of the quotes are precisely as I remember them. It wasn’t writing. This was me taking dictation from my own memories.

Characters

The only characters are the unnamed narrator and Dr. Richard Brodie.

Memorable Quotes

Thirty-five years ago, a sacred trust was unexpectedly given to me, to be a friend and confidant to the man who was supposed to be mine. I did what I could, but I was not ready for it.

Rating for The Last Patient

The story has a K rating.

The Last Patient: Upshot

I would have liked to have shown him works like Untrustworthy. I think he would have been happy for me.

Even now, over forty years later, I remember how he looked a bit like Broderick Crawford. Funny, the things you remember.

I was his last patient. #amwriting

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Self-Review – All My Aliens

Published by Janet Gershen-Siegel on September 7, 2023

Self Review – All My Aliens

All My Aliens? What the hell?

Background

This was a story originally created for a competition. But it also came from a very wacky idea I had had several years previously.

The concept was, how would First Contact happen? And so I hit upon a very strange way to do it.

Plot

Because TV is more important to many of us than we would care to admit, the idea was a simple one.

My aliens would have to originally contact us on television. And, even better, it would have to be via the medium of fiction. But what would be the best means of doing this? After all, TV shows are cancelled all the time. It would have to be something long-term, with little to no chance of cancellation.

And then I hit upon the more or less perfect answer.

Soap operas.

And so the idea was born – my aliens would make contact with us via the soaps.

My Aliens: the Characters

The characters are not of this earth, of course. The only two who really get names are Chaz and Katherinemma. Katherinemma got her name because Alyssa Milano had (at the time) recently named her daughter Elizabella. So K got her name as a kind of homage to that.

And Chaz, of course, was the most typical and obvious male soap star name we could think of.

The Action

Some of my favorite parts of this story are how the action zooms from the strangers thinking about contacting Earth to the stars getting here. And then, of course, they have to get to Area 51 (because, reasons). And, of course, the daytime Emmy awards.

No good soap opera would ever be complete without a dramatic scene with a slap. No good story about celebrities would ever be complete without some crazed fan screaming about having her idol’s baby. And no good science fiction yarn would ever be complete without something with tentacles.

Fortunately, the story has all of that.

It also has what, I feel, is perhaps the funniest ending line I have ever written.

Rating

All My Aliens is probably a K when you get right down to it.

All My Aliens: Upshot

You can find it in the Longest Night Watch II, if I recall correctly.

All My Aliens — because TV is a logical choice for communicating with humans. #amwriting

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Self-Review – There is a RoadAdventures in Career Changing | Janet Gershen-Siegel | There is a Road

Self-Review – There is a Road

Published by Janet Gershen-Siegel on September 5, 2023

Review – There is a Road

There is a Road originally came about as a response to an image prompt on the old Trek United. However, I do not have the rights to use that image, and Trek United is a mere shell of its former self.

Background

The original image was a dreamy almost black and white, very shades of gray type of image. It was a wooden pathway into the woods, bending and seemingly with no ending.

Plot

The narrator is never named. She talks about her grandmother’s death from smoking, and her father’s from a transport accident. She mentions aliens and flying. Hence the time must be the future, and perhaps it is a rather deep future versus right now.

And then the narrator talks about making art. As she describes her process, the reader begins to understand that the narrator has screwed something up royally. Whether there has been an explosion or a fire, it hardly seems to matter. Because all that matters is that (spoiler alert), the narrator numbers among the dead.

Characters

The only character is the unnamed narrator, although she refers to her father and her grandmother. Since it’s a narration, it doesn’t really have quotes.

The Road to Story Postings

This story is really only available on Wattpad.

There is a Road on Wattpad

Rating

The story is Rated K.

Takeaways from the Road

This story is odd and dreamy and probably a little too spiritual for regular consumption. Also, there is just no way it could ever get a sequel or the like. Could I take it off Wattpad and submit it to an anthology? I suppose I could but, frankly, I do not think it stands as one of my better works.

The piece is old and the seams do show. Still, it is an interesting premise, and perhaps I should rework it one of these days.

There is a road — and it leads to this. #amwriting

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Character Review — Noah BravermanCraig Firenze, Noah Braverman, Minka Lopez, Dez Hunter, Eleanor Braverman, Olga Nicolaev, Kitty Kowalski, Mei-Lin Quan, Nell Murphy, Elise Jeffries,

Character Review — Noah Braverman

Published by Janet Gershen-Siegel on August 1, 2023

Consider Noah Braverman, One of My Original Characters

Who is Noah Braverman?

Noah Braverman is a linchpin character in Mettle. But he was downgraded from leading man status in favor of Craig Firenze.

Where Did Noah Braverman Come From?

Noah (like Josie James in the Time Addicts trilogy) actually lives in my house. Because Mettle takes place in my neighborhood, what better place but the one I know the best?

The Past is Prologue — Backstory for Noah Braverman

Noah has the best defined family in all of Mettle. Apart from Craig and Jeannie, and Nell with Gran, he is the only person who the reader ever sees with a family member.

Description

The only person I have ever seen for Noah is the actor David Schwimmer. In part, it’s the air of intelligence. Noah is no dope, even though he’s not a doctor like Elise Jeffries or Mei-Lin Quan, and he’s not a PhD like his mother, Eleanor.

It is also because I try to pair characters with actors who are similar in terms of background. I wanted only a Jewish actor to play this Jewish character.

And, it’s also because of Schwimmer’s hangdog look, which he should probably just patent already.

Purpose/Theme/Motivation

Noah doesn’t have the last name of Braverman by accident, of course. But his bravery is not based on anything like battle skills or the like.

Rather, it is based on trust. Without knowing much about most of the other characters, Noah takes in Craig and gets to know and truly love and appreciate people he would never normally run into, like Nell Murphy, Minka Lopez, and Dez Hunter.

In fact, he is one of the reasons why the story seems to not quite get started until chapter 7 or so. I needed for Noah to know Craig at least a little bit, for why would he take in a stranger to live with him, particularly while people are going nuts?

Quotes {the Power Outage is Happening; He is Taking Craig to Brighton}

Noah did a fast three-point turn, getting the car onto Cambridge Street and abandoning Storrow Drive altogether. He gunned the engine, running red lights and weaving in and out of traffic. “Sorry for the white-knuckle ride.”

“That’s fine. You’re handy with the jalopy.”

“I learned how to drive in this car. Hang on.”

Noah turned in front of St. Botolph’s where some flickering lights were still on. But other lights were going out all over the rest of the area. He gunned it down Adams, passing a drug store and a taco place before the car sputtered to a halt and died across the street from the organic market.

Noah and Craig got out. “This way,” Noah said, “Go here and then straight for a while. It’s a bit downhill, then left on Hancock, number three oh one if you can see anything. If you can’t, the house has smooth pillars in front.”

The two men strode quickly, Craig holding the carryon and Noah holding the briefcase. One by one, lights in the houses started going out. Striding turned into jogging and then full-blown running as they turned onto Hancock and all the lights went out and even ambient car noises went silent.
Click to buy Untrustworthy on Amazon

Relationships

Much like any other character, Noah has interactions with the main cast, but he also has pointed and more important ones with a select few.

Noah and Elise

Best pals for years, he has a bit of thing for her but she doesn’t really reciprocate. It’s not that she doesn’t care. It’s more that she just plain does not feel a spark with him.

But they can clown around and kid each other, and they do a lot of that. Elise is also pretty much the only person who Noah knows by name in his neighborhood, apart from the people he lives with.

And speaking of them…

Noah and Olga

Olga Nicolaev is the caregiver for Noah’s mother, and she has a semi-thankless job as Eleanor slips deeper and deeper into Alzheimer’s.

Noah involves Olga in care decisions about Eleanor and trusts (there’s that word again) her wise counsel. And this is despite the fact that Olga has major issues with English.

Yet when the story starts, and throughout it, she refers to him as Mr. Braverman whereas he calls her by her first name. Now, that is pretty much something you would expect in a relationship between and employer and employee, but still!

Considering the intimacy of their lives together (nothing romantic), you would think he would insist on her calling him Noah.

But he never gets a chance to.

Noah and Eleanor

An exceptionally devoted son, Noah has never actually left home. Rather, when his father died and his mother became ill, the best response was to simply stay.

However, when the story starts, he is getting a little tired of Eleanor continually asking about his late father. She doesn’t know any better, of course. And he does have a great deal of patience. But his reservoirs of it are not without limit.

Conflict and Turning Point

Noah’s turning points are virtually the same as those for the other characters in the story. When it seems as if the entire world has gone mad, he has but one purpose—to get home. There is nothing else he can think about.

And this should follow for a character who is, in part, defined by family and home.

Continuity/Easter Eggs

Noah isn’t really the one with the Easter egg. It’s his mother, whose maiden name is Shapiro.

Future Plans for Noah Braverman

I do not have any future plans for him, but he will show up in the prequel, as will the rest of the cast.

Noah Braverman: Takeaways

Noah Braverman is a somewhat different kind of hero, sort of a hero as homebody, if you will. While Craig turned out to be the lead, it’s Noah who holds the story together.

Mettle would fall apart without him.

Noah Braverman — the character who brings everyone together.

Want More of Noah Braverman and the Rest of Mettle?

If Mettle resonates with you, then check out my other blog posts about how changes in the periodic table nearly kill us all.

Character Reviews: Mettle

† Eleanor Braverman
• Noah Braverman
† Craig Firenze
• Dez Hunter
† Dr. Elise Jeffries
• Minka Lopez
† Nell Murphy
• Olga Nicolaev
† Dr. Mei-Lin Quan

The Mettle Universe
Self Review: Mettle

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Self-Review – Fatima’s Minnesota WishShort Stories, Road, My Aliens, Last Patient, interview, Surprises, Props, shipwrecked, child, Killing Us Softly, Ditte, Band, three minutes, Longest Night Watch, Nothing Good Ever Happens, Complications, Your Call, Darkness into Light, canaries, gentrification, Cynthia, True Believer, Short Stories, Wilder Bloom, Dish, Mitalisque, kitten, Last Try, Minnesota Wish, Dominick and Angela, Alix, Alix’s Apocalypse, A Chance Encounter in Time, A Crime in Time, A Show for the Galaxy, Alien Justice, And the Band Played the Apocalypse, Babel 2.0, Side Pages, Frozen Assets, Julie's Dollar, Mandy Goes to Aspen, Martin's Choice, Mike’s Grades, Out of the Work Camp Frying Pan, Sarah’s Invention, Small Acts of Defiance, The Future Has No Foundation, Unexpected Help, You Will Drink Your Coffee and Like It, Unreliable, East Side of the Universe, Eros vs Thanatos, Dust Between Our Stars, A Show for the Galaxy, A Fairy Tale for Skeptical Adults, A School for Scavengers, Frozen Assets, Out of the Work Camp Frying Pan, 1960s Temporal Crimes, Lizzie Borden is Vital to the Timeline, Walls Came Tumbling Down Again, The End, Will's Dog, Building Trust, Message in an Odd Bottle, The New Kid, What's an Animal, A Touch of Gray Hair, Guilty of Imperfection, Jared's World Turned Upside Down, Caring for Carole, Nuremberg Redux, Art Has All Sorts of Effects, When Russia Invaded Texas, Failure, Tumble in a Tomb, Beauty is Only Earth Deep, Peddler, Escape Violinist, Shimmering Wasteland, Cave Canem and Cave, Skating, Uninformed, Stellar Stowaway, dinosaurs, fragments, none of this is real, buzz, quartz, water, verity, quarrel, rivalry, breakout,

Self-Review – Fatima’s Minnesota Wish

Published by Janet Gershen-Siegel on June 27, 2023

Review – Fatima’s Minnesota Wish

In 2021, I tried to write or at least start one short story per day. Fatima’s Minnesota Wish came from a single-word prompt: carousel. It is the third story I wrote during the first quarter of 2021.

Background for this Minnesota Wish

Fatima’s sister Aaliyah is dying of some unnamed heart or muscular disease. Their parents have brought their children to the Mayo Clinic, in the hopes that somewhere, somehow, there can be a miracle and there will be a suitable donor. But Aaliyah’s time is running out.

For Fatima, who is in the seventh grade, school is a mystery. She is learning English on the fly, but at least she understands math, for the numbers are the same. In order to help her acclimate better (and faster), the school offers the services of its speech therapist for some individualized instruction.

Into this difficult and sometimes bewildering world comes an expression from the speech therapist, Miss Crane: Go for the brass ring.

The first part of the story is Fatima figuring out just what that is, and hoping against all hope that it will be the one thing that saves her dying baby sister.

Plot

It’s all the Hussein family can do to try to keep their younger daughter Aaliyah alive. But every day, that gets harder and harder. Fatima, their elder daughter, is just trying to navigate life.

Fatima’s own grief and sadness are spiked with a dose of the novelty of being in the United States and learning English. And maybe talking about boys with her new friends. But then there’s that brass ring, and all it symbolizes.

Characters

The characters are mainly Fatima, her parents, Ali and Maryam, and her sister, Aaliyah. At school, Fatima’s teacher is Mrs. Murphy. Her speech teacher, helping Fatima learn English, is Miss Crane. Fatima’s friends are Nicole and Debbie.

At the hospital are Mr. and Dr. DePels and their daughter, Doris, along with Dr. Rosenthal. Also, there are Shmuly Baum’s parents, Herschel and Raya.

Memorable Quotes

Months went by, and of course Mrs. Murphy was right about the Minnesota winter. But it was only my parents and me who ever saw it. Aaliyah stayed in the hospital, month after month.

In the meantime, I was making friends with some girls: Nicole and Debbie. My father went to work at an engineering firm whenever he could. He would switch off with my mother, who would work in architecture, from home. But I could see how worried she was. It was hard for her to be creative. I suppose that’s understandable.

When May rolled around, the lovely weather got us all itching to go outside. Miss Crane used a rather odd expression with me. She said I should “reach for the brass ring”.

Rather than ask her what she meant, I decided to figure it out for myself. I just asked her for a hint, and she told me to go to a local park, to the carousel. She had to show me a picture, as I had never seen one before.

The park was open that weekend, and so I, in my halting English, asked the man running the carousel what the brass ring was. So, he showed me. There are rings in the center and, as your ride goes up and down and around, you lean over and reach out to try to grab one. And he said I could get any prize if I brought him one.

Rating

The story has a K rating.

Upshot for Fatima’s Minnesota Wish

I like the idea of this story probably more than how it actually came out. In part, this may be because it does not quite end. Rather, it just sort of runs out of gas. Which can happen with stories, naturally. And it follows vis a vis how her sister’s health is declining.

Perhaps I will try to pick it up again in the future, particularly if it becomes a story to query or to self-publish.

Fatima’s Minnesota wish is truly heartfelt. And maybe one day medicine will be able to grant it. #amwriting

Want More of my Short Stories and Novellas?

If this story resonates with you, then check out my other articles about my shorter works.

Short Stories

Finally, for a complete list of my shorter works, please be sure to check out the Hub Page—Short Stories.

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Self-Review – Wilder BloomShort Stories, Road, My Aliens, Last Patient, interview, Surprises, Props, shipwrecked, child, Killing Us Softly, Ditte, Band, three minutes, Longest Night Watch, Nothing Good Ever Happens, Complications, Your Call, Darkness into Light, canaries, gentrification, Cynthia, True Believer, Short Stories, Wilder Bloom, Dish, Mitalisque, kitten, Last Try, Minnesota Wish, Dominick and Angela, Alix, Alix’s Apocalypse, A Chance Encounter in Time, A Crime in Time, A Show for the Galaxy, Alien Justice, And the Band Played the Apocalypse, Babel 2.0, Side Pages, Frozen Assets, Julie's Dollar, Mandy Goes to Aspen, Martin's Choice, Mike’s Grades, Out of the Work Camp Frying Pan, Sarah’s Invention, Small Acts of Defiance, The Future Has No Foundation, Unexpected Help, You Will Drink Your Coffee and Like It, Unreliable, East Side of the Universe, Eros vs Thanatos, Dust Between Our Stars, A Show for the Galaxy, A Fairy Tale for Skeptical Adults, A School for Scavengers, Frozen Assets, Out of the Work Camp Frying Pan, 1960s Temporal Crimes, Lizzie Borden is Vital to the Timeline, Walls Came Tumbling Down Again, The End, Will's Dog, Building Trust, Message in an Odd Bottle, The New Kid, What's an Animal, A Touch of Gray Hair, Guilty of Imperfection, Jared's World Turned Upside Down, Caring for Carole, Nuremberg Redux, Art Has All Sorts of Effects, When Russia Invaded Texas, Failure, Tumble in a Tomb, Beauty is Only Earth Deep, Peddler, Escape Violinist, Shimmering Wasteland, Cave Canem and Cave, Skating, Uninformed, Stellar Stowaway, dinosaurs, fragments, none of this is real, buzz, quartz, water, verity, quarrel, rivalry, breakout,

Self-Review – Wilder Bloom

Published by Janet Gershen-Siegel on March 9, 2023

Review – Wilder Bloom

I wrote Wilder Bloom quickly as I was under a time crunch. I wrote this short story for the second volume of The Longest Night Watch. And all of the proceeds go to the Alzheimer’s Association.

So with the (at the time) very recent death of actor Gene Wilder to Alzheimer’s, the participants decided to honor his memory. So this was much as the original volume was to honor Sir Terry Pratchett.

The story is a simple one. Wilder – called by his real name, Jerome Silberman, cycles through his many roles as he loses his true sense of self. And so the reader, by definition, sees his roles as essential facets of his personality.

Wilder Bloom: Background

With Wilder’s death, it became imperative to me to commemorate him in some fashion. But how? And then it came to me.

Since I know Alzheimer’s often affects your short-term memory first, longer term memory would work for my purposes. But what would a long-term actor remember?

Their roles.

Plot

So much like in Props, Mr. Silberman is in a nursing home where he is slowly and not so slowly losing himself. But while in Props the main character plotted her escape, Silberman instead relives his biggest roles.

No longer able to distinguish fantasy from reality, he becomes his characters again.

And so, the story essentially turned into countless Easter eggs.

The following films get shout outs:

• Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
† The Producers
• Silver Streak
† Blazing Saddles
• Young Frankenstein

I went with these as they are, more or less, his best-known film roles. And I also decided on these because the characters are so indelible. I felt that they would resonate with Mr. Silberman and, by extension, with the reader.

Characters

The only character is an unnamed nurse who observes Mr. Silberman. Through her, the reader learns about Mr. Silberman (Wilder).

Memorable Quotes from Wilder Bloom

He said his second wife – perhaps she was his third – she was a comedienne who died young, of ovarian cancer. He did not speak about her much, but it was always with great affection.

Rating

This story has a K rating.

Upshot

The anthology is stalled in developmental hell. Sad, really.

A wilder Bloom there never was. #amwriting

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Self-Review – A True Believer in SkepticismShort Stories, Road, My Aliens, Last Patient, interview, Surprises, Props, shipwrecked, child, Killing Us Softly, Ditte, Band, three minutes, Longest Night Watch, Nothing Good Ever Happens, Complications, Your Call, Darkness into Light, canaries, gentrification, Cynthia, True Believer, Short Stories, Wilder Bloom, Dish, Mitalisque, kitten, Last Try, Minnesota Wish, Dominick and Angela, Alix, Alix’s Apocalypse, A Chance Encounter in Time, A Crime in Time, A Show for the Galaxy, Alien Justice, And the Band Played the Apocalypse, Babel 2.0, Side Pages, Frozen Assets, Julie's Dollar, Mandy Goes to Aspen, Martin's Choice, Mike’s Grades, Out of the Work Camp Frying Pan, Sarah’s Invention, Small Acts of Defiance, The Future Has No Foundation, Unexpected Help, You Will Drink Your Coffee and Like It, Unreliable, East Side of the Universe, Eros vs Thanatos, Dust Between Our Stars, A Show for the Galaxy, A Fairy Tale for Skeptical Adults, A School for Scavengers, Frozen Assets, Out of the Work Camp Frying Pan, 1960s Temporal Crimes, Lizzie Borden is Vital to the Timeline, Walls Came Tumbling Down Again, The End, Will's Dog, Building Trust, Message in an Odd Bottle, The New Kid, What's an Animal, A Touch of Gray Hair, Guilty of Imperfection, Jared's World Turned Upside Down, Caring for Carole, Nuremberg Redux, Art Has All Sorts of Effects, When Russia Invaded Texas, Failure, Tumble in a Tomb, Beauty is Only Earth Deep, Peddler, Escape Violinist, Shimmering Wasteland, Cave Canem and Cave, Skating, Uninformed, Stellar Stowaway, dinosaurs, fragments, none of this is real, buzz, quartz, water, verity, quarrel, rivalry, breakout,

Self-Review – A True Believer in Skepticism

Published by Janet Gershen-Siegel on September 22, 2022

Review – Self-Review – A True Believer in Skepticism

So the concept for A True Believer in Skepticism came from a few stray thoughts which ended up coming together rather nicely. It was at this time that I was actively trying to write every single day. Hence, I needed to find inspiration anywhere I could.

And in this case, it was the Home Depot. No lie.

Background

When I wrote True Believer… my husband and I had just come back from ordering flooring from the Home Depot. We had met a very pleasant and knowledgeable salesman named Reynaldo.

And I loved that name, because, to me, it evoked mystery. Hence the story started to come together.

Plot

Denise lives an ordinary life in a dull, ordinary town. But when a fair comes to town, she eventually goes to it. But she scarcely knows why.

While there, she meets the Great Reynaldo, who tells her fortune. Denise is skeptical, feeling that fortune tellers are only so much hokum. And she isn’t fully convinced that the Great Reynaldo can do what he claims he can.

It’s not until she leaves the fair that the first part of his predictions start to come true….

Characters in A True Believer in Skepticism

The characters are Denise and the Great Reynaldo. While there are other people at the fair. While the story refers to them, they don’t have names. And those other people don’t speak, either.

Denise, of course, is the True Believer.

Memorable Quotes

There was a booth which she had not noticed amidst the crowds. A fellow was seated on a stool, wearing a turban. There was a banner at the front top of the booth which said, ‘The Great Reynaldo Will Tell Your Fortune.’

Denise laughed a little. Fortune tellers were just so much hokum, the product of willing believers who were so chatty they would give their secrets away willingly. A scam artist merely needed to be good at reading body language, asking leading questions, following up on the answers, and convincingly recover from unexpected or out and out wrong answers.

Rating

The story has a K rating.

A True Believer in Skepticism: the Upshot

I really love the title of this one, and am particularly happy that it found an audience. It is to be published by Mythic Magazine, which also published Three Minutes Back in Time.

Are YOU a true believer in skepticism?

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Self-Review – CynthiaJake to represent Cynthia

Self-Review – Cynthia

Published by Janet Gershen-Siegel on August 25, 2022

Review – Cynthia

So the thing about Cynthia is, it’s a fun although ultimately sad story.

You see, Cynthia is a Great Dane.

And to her sorrow, her master is succumbing to Alzheimer’s. This short story was written for the second volume of The Longest Night Watch. All of the proceeds go to the Alzheimer’s Association.

I love the canine point of view. There is just something about writing about a species that is so incredibly close to us yet their ‘language’, such as it is, is vastly different.

Furthermore, even science says that dogs experience so much more than we do when it comes to scent. And so, I firmly believe that their perceptions have to be rendered in that manner.

Background

I have always been a dog lover, and I even have some fan fiction where the POV comes from a canine perspective. As a result, I had the itch to write something similar yet wholly original. I also wanted it to reflect the overall subject matter, Alzheimer’s. What better way, than to show that the creature keeping their faculties is one who didn’t have quite so many to begin with?

Plot

The plot is small and compact, and it reflects how Daniel’s life is shrinking in on itself. The dog even says that there is more food when Keisha arrives, and the walks are longer. You don’t need to be human to know that Daniel is faltering. Because this status quo will change, and the center will not hold.

Characters

The characters are the narrator, Cynthia the dog, Daniel Robinson, her owner, and Daniel’s daughter, Keisha. However, we only see Keisha at the end, although there is a mentioning of her before.

Memorable Quotes from Cynthia

I love him.

He smells good.

Rating

The story is Rated K.

Cynthia: Upshot

Canine POV, as I noted above, is great fun to write. But the story is truly a sad one. For Keisha in particular, her father is slipping away. And even though she’s a nurse, she can do nothing to slow down or stop his decline.

Cynthia’s devotion and love are as real and true as any human’s. #amwriting

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