How was third quarter 2024 for writing? So I spent third quarter 2024 writing new short stories. Also, I spent time seriously considering the final Obolonk trilogy and its plot.
Third Quarter 2024 Posted Works
First of all, I worked on a number of new short stories. A lot of these had been drafted on paper and so I spent some time editing them. Current shorter works include A School for Scavengers and The Duck in the Seat Cushion.
Then on Wattpad I posted nowhere, and really just went there in order to check on my stats.
Milestones
Also, I have written over 3.5 million words (fan fiction and wholly original fiction combined). So right now my stats on Wattpad for wholly original works are as follows:
• Dinosaurs – 42 reads, 11 comments
† How to NaNoWriMo – 26,183 reads, 340 comments (pulled from Wattpad due to their severing their association with NaNoWriMo)
• My Favorite Things (like kibble) – 992 reads, 133 comments
† Revved Up – 59,486 reads, 531 comments
• Side By Side – 21 reads, 2 comments
† Social Media Guide for Wattpad – 16,862 reads, 592 comments
• The Canadian Caper – 510 reads, 37 comments
† The Dish – 251 reads, 24 comments
• There is a Road – 189 reads, 28 comments
Published Works as of Third Quarter 2024
Also, I am amassing quite the collection of published works! So, here’s everything that has found a home so far.
Untrustworthy, which is my first published novel. So yay!
A True Believer in Skepticism, published in Mythic Magazine.
Almost Shipwrecked, a story in the January 2019 edition of Empyreome, a site which unfortunately is no more.
Canaries, a short story in the March 29, 2019, edition of Theme of Absence.
Complications, a story in the Queer Sci Fi Discovery anthology. So this is an anthology where the proceeds went to supporting the QSF website.
The Obolonk Murders Trilogy – so this one is all about a tripartite society. But who’s killing the aliens?
The Enigman Cave – can we find life on another planet and not screw it up? You know, like we do everything else?
The Real Hub of the Universe Trilogy – so the aliens who live among us in the 1870s and 1880s are at war. But why is that?
Mettle – so it’s all about how society goes to hell in a hand basket when the metals of the periodic table start to disappear. But then what?
Time Addicts – No One is Safe – so this one is all about what happens in the future when time travel becomes possible via narcotic.
Time Addicts – Nothing is Permanent – this is the second in this trilogy. What happens when time is tampered with and manipulated in all sorts of ways? It’s the ultimate in gaslighting, for one thing.
Time Addicts – Everything is Up For Grabs – as the timelines smack together and continue to diverge, it gets harder to tell the “real” timeline from all the newer fake ones. And what if some of the changes are for the better?
Prep Work
So currently, my intention, for 2025’s 30Day50k, is to write the third trilogy in the Time Addicts/Obolonks universe. But I need to iron out the plot! So a lot of this year has been spent on that. I have no name for this one yet. However, I think I’m getting closer….
It’s been quiet. But that has been by design. Right now, I just plain don’t feel like putting myself out there these days. There, I said it.
In Progress
As of third quarter 2024, the following are still technically in the running for publishing:
This list is the name of the story and then the name of the potential publisher.
† I Used to Be Happy – Gemini Magazine
• Justice – Adbusters
† Mettle – RAB
• Soul Rentals ‘R’ Us – A Thousand One Stories
† Who Do We Blame for This? – Sonder Review
But it’s highly doubtful any of them will become acceptances this late in the game.
Third Quarter 2024 – Productivity Killers
So it’s looking for work, what else? But third quarter 2024 is about to segue into this year’s 30Day50k. I. Can’t. Wait.
Consider Devon Grace, One of My Original Characters
Who is Devon Grace?
Dr. Devon Grace arose from, among other things, Peter Capaldi being tapped to play Dr. Who.
Where Did Devon Grace Come From?
Once Ceilidh is ensconced in Massachusetts, she needed something to do that wasn’t going to be just endless cookery and housework. And then the idea for Devon sprang up, and I realized it could drive the plot rather well.
The Past is Prologue — Backstory for Devon Grace
Rich and privileged, all Devon wants to do is heal people. But it’s the Victorian era, and he’s got a major secret.
He’s gay.
And so, his very existence is essentially illegal.
Female patients seem to sense something about him, so Devon becomes essentially an OB-GYN. He delivers babies and, eventually, women start to trust him to perform abortions. His track record is decent (after all, he’s no quack), but women still die.
It all goes wrong when a relative of a member of Parliament dies on the table.
Arrested, but then charged with buggery, Devon ends up in prison for a year. But he’s lucky. Since Dr. Grace is wealthy, at least he’s not executed.
Post-Disgrace
Banished from practicing medicine in the UK, he comes to America. But he feels horribly guilty and wants to atone. He does so by becoming what we would now call a Public Health Officer. In particular, he helps a morphine addict turn her life around.
Description
Peter Capaldi, who is the only person I see as Dr. Devon Grace
I see Peter Capaldi, hands down. There is no one else.
Purpose/Theme/Motivation
Like the other characters in the Universe of The Real Hub of the Universe, his motivation is to protect the Earth. Much like Ceilidh, he has a redemption arc. Finding love, and finding purpose, are key.
And, along the way, he even finds a more traditional-ish family, marrying Ellen Remy and adopting her son, Richard, who was born out of wedlock.
For Devon, Ellen, and Richard, it’s truly the best of all possible outcomes. She gets security and a degree of respectability, with her son’s future assured. Richard gets a father and a more stable life. And Devon gets a way to return to Scotland legally.
Quotes (to help out Ceilidh in the Charles Street Jail, Devon poses as her husband)
When the church bells rang for one, the jailhouse’s bell rang and Gregory Ashford arrived, looking concerned. Less than half an hour later, the bell rang again, and Ceilidh heard Devon’s voice. “I will visit this prisoner when I please,” he complained.
“Oh, really? And who might you be?” asked the captain.
Devon came close to the bars and Ceilidh could see he was wearing an unfamiliar cloak. Either he had purchased something new, or it was Shannon. He nodded to her and she approached. Unexpectedly, Devon took both her hands in his and kissed them and then said to Marsh, “I am her husband.”
Relationships
For someone who wanted to be left alone in his misery, he ends up making friends and more.
Ceilidh O’Malley
As originally his employee, Ceilidh is a combination serving girl, maid, valet, and confidante. They become closer when they reveal their secrets to each other.
At her annulment hearing, he cosplays as a priest, the third necessary for a hearing. No one needs to be the wiser.
Ellen Remy
Devon loves children and sees an injustice in how Ellen and Richard are treated by most people. He proposes marriage to fix that, but also for his own purposes.
If he can convince the authorities that he’s a changed man (which we would just see as him being forced even further into the closet), he can go back to Scotland to live.
At first, Ellen is afraid he’s in love with her but she doesn’t feel the same way about her. But they come to an understanding.
Carlos
Devon’s old friend is an important member of SPHERE in Europe. They can joke and laugh and end up in love.
Shannon Duffy
The entity known as Shannon Duffy has odd relationships with most human beings. With Devon, the relationship is cordial. They play draughts a lot, and team up to help Ceilidh and Jake and the rest of SPHERE.
Conflict and Turning Point
When the Yarinduin and the Xolana attack, Devon is right in the thick of it.
Continuity/Easter Eggs
Since I also see Capaldi as David Shepherd, I’ve had an intriguing idea. Perhaps Shepherd’s real name should be Devon Grace? I confess I rather like the idea.
Peter Capaldi, who I see as Dr. Devon Grace. Image is for reference purposes only.
If I write another prequel, he would be a fascinating character to cover.
Devon Grace: Takeaways
Complex, sardonic, rueful, but ultimately kind, Devon Grace was a great character to create.
Devon Grace — a doctor character ahead of his time.
Want More of Devon Grace?
If Devon resonates with you, then check out my other articles about Ceilidh, Johnny, Devon, Frances, Shannon and everyone else as they work to prevent a temporally jacked-up genocide.
Consider Ceilidh O’Malley, One of My Original Characters
Who is Ceilidh O’Malley?
The main character in The Real Hub of the Universe series is someone I originally thought of as “a plucky Irish scullery maid”. But then she grew and changed. And I like her better now. Readers seem to love her, too. To get truly technical and formal, this character is Ceilidh Aisling O’Malley Barnes Radford.
Oh, and her name is pronounced Kay-Lee, and her middle name, Ashling. Dance and dream.
Where Did Ceilidh O’Malley Come From?
The name came to me first. Because the idea behind Real Hub was to marry science fiction with the Victorian Era, the perfect character to observe the goings on would be in the serving class. With a story that goes from the serving class to the Boston Brahmins and back again, she could be there for all of it.
The Past is Prologue — Backstory for Ceilidh O’Malley
Considered an old maid in her tiny home village of Ballyvaughan, Ceilidh, her sister Maeve, and her mother are starving. The crops are unreliable, and the entire village is barely on the right side of grinding poverty. And that even includes the most powerful family in Ballyvaughan, the Barneses.
Ceilidh has stayed away from the men in her village. She’s a cousin of some degree to near all of them. But it’s more than that. She’s just plain not interested in them.
A part of this is because she (and one of the Barnes sons) is the best student in the one-room, multi-year schoolhouse. The teacher? Her father. But by the time she’s in her teens, her father has died of what was likely food poisoning. Things are not looking good.
And so, even though Maeve likes him, it’s Ceilidh who’s married off to the middle Barnes son, Johnny. When Johnny attacks her, she flees the country and the story begins, as does the Real Hub of the Universe series.
Description
Extremely pale, yet with the map of Ireland on her face, Ceilidh is semi-unique looking. But not so much that she should seem out of place. What I didn’t want was a stereotypical redheaded, freckle-faced Irish Colleen.
I decided Ceilidh would resemble Naomi Watts, an actress I like a great deal, particularly because she doesn’t seem to be afraid of looking her age.
This is Naomi Watts (as Gertrude in Ophelia) – looking a bit like Ceilidh O’Malley but probably too well-dressed and not as young as I’d like
Purpose/Theme/Motivation
Ceilidh’s original motivator is getting away/lying. When she leaves Ballyvaughan, it’s essentially under false pretenses. But she can’t stay.
Her struggle to not only survive, but to turn her life around, is at the heart of the series.
Quotes (Ceilidh is talking to Dr. Devon Grace, who speaks first)
“And so you left?”
“Yes. I packed and my cousin was still in the village but he was leaving. So I went with him. He took me to Kinvara and I got passage on the Atlas because Captain Underwood took pity on me. We stopped in Cornwall and I met his wife and befriended her. She agreed to be the go-between for me and my mother and sister. Helen has kindly forwarded letters and even money to them for a few years now. She has exceeded my expectations a thousandfold.”
“And your mother and sister know nothing of your whereabouts?”
“That’s correct. They don’t even know I’m in America.”
Relationships
Ceilidh, like many characters, is well-defined by her relationships in life. Friend, family member, and employee—and eventually employer—she does it all.
Friendships
A true, understanding friend, Ceilidh feels it’s important to help her friends whenever she can.
Frances Miller Ashford
Ceilidh’s first friend in the states is fellow scullery maid, Frances Miller. In fact, Frances makes it easier for Ceilidh to pass a test to be able to work at the Edwards House. To return the favor, Ceilidh works to bring Frances’s admirer, plumber’s assistant Gregory Ashford, to the house more often so the two can get to know one another. The two women are so close that they are in each other’s weddings.
Shannon Duffy
Shannon is a strange creation of mine, essentially a colony of tiny cells which, together, make up a form of collective intelligence. The colony chooses her by vote, as they choose virtually everything else. When they meet, it’s almost by random. Shannon, at the time called Levi Altschuler, is being chased by a number of bullies in the Boston Public Garden. Running from them, Shannon runs directly into Ceilidh and knocks her down. But when the bullies catch up, Ceilidh rises to defend Shannon, even though they have never seen each other before.
Shannon helps her in several different ways (trying to avoid too many spoilers here!), including helping Dr. Grace to save her life.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
This very real figure from history is initially snobbish and somewhat mean to a mere serving girl. But they grow on each other, and he takes the place of her father in some ways. As he ages, he slows down, and suffers what we would recognize as a form of senile dementia, possibly Alzheimer’s disease. She cares for him whenever they are in the same room together, and mourns him when he dies.
Dr. Devon Grace
Devon is Ceilidh’s originally stern and mysterious employer. He likes her discretion and company, and she, initially, enjoys bouncing ideas off him. In that way, he’s also something of a father surrogate to her. She accepts his faults, smooths out at least some of his rough edges, keeps his secrets, and they both make each other better.
Devon’s greatest gift to her is given in Ireland.
Ellen Remy Grace
As Ellen lives in somewhat genteel poverty, Ceilidh can relate. And when Ellen’s employment prospects are nearly zero due to her having an illegitimate child, it’s Ceilidh who gives the semi-starving woman a sandwich. And it’s Ceilidh who treats Ellen like a friend and not a pariah. In her own way, Ceilidh also realizes Ellen is in mourning and has lost a great deal more than just her reputation.
Judge John Lowell and the Other Members of SPHERE
SPHERE, the secret society at the heart of the story, is the source of several relationships for Ceilidh.
Apart from Winthrop Edwards, all the members of SPHERE are real historical figures. Lowell is Ceilidh’s second employer. He treats her well and gives her responsibilities she would normally never have gotten. He and his wife treat her fairly.
Henry Adams is mainly aloof, but in the third book, he confides that he and a woman he corresponds with are involved in what we would nowadays call an emotional affair. George Weld had been a yachtsman, but by the time Ceilidh knows him, he’s becoming disabled (possibly due to a stroke). Much like with Emerson in his later years, Ceilidh fetches him tea, helps him up and down stairs, and otherwise treats him with special care. Alexander Graham Bell joins later, and he’s initially suspicious that a woman could possibly be a good confidante. She wins him over, in a way—but lets Mrs. Lowell speak up when Bell argues at a party that women should never be working.
When Emerson dies, Ceilidh turns to SPHERE member Bronson Alcott to take his place as the father figure in her life. Delighted, Alcott makes her promise to keep in close touch.
Finally, Winthrop Edwards is her Ceilidh’s first employer in the US. Snobbish and very private, we get to know him better in the second and third books than we ever do in the first.
Family
Ceilidh’s family relationships are complex, mainly due to the tininess of her home village (so she’s related to pretty much everyone) and her immediate family’s grinding poverty. Her beloved father dies when she is young, and so her mother, her, and her sister are forced to fend for themselves. And it does not go well at all.
Mam (Mary O’Malley)
When the first book starts, Mary has been backed into a financial corner. She and her family are members of the cottier class, a kind of tenant farmer. But when the crops fail too many times in a row, Mary knows that Maeve in particular probably won’t survive for too much longer. As a result, Mary surveys her valuables and essentially “sells” one of them—Ceilidh—for more food for all of them.
For the time, Mary’s actions are justifiable and even kind. Giving up Ceilidh to the Barnes family means her elder daughter will never starve. And it also means that the meager rations she, Maeve, and Ceilidh have been living on can instead be split among two people. Furthermore, a connection to the Barnes family means occasional meals or at least allowances to be late with the rent. Jack Barnes is already Mary’s cousin. But handing over Ceilidh strengthens that.
When we finally meet her in Book Two, Mary is a doting grandmother but still starving, giving her share to her grandsons even if that means it could eventually kill her.
Maeve O’Malley Barnes
With Maeve, things are complicated. But that’s understandable. Much like in the Old Testament story of Rachel and Leah, it’s Maeve who’s originally pledged to Johnny. But things go south when the family goes through yet another bad winter. And Johnny doesn’t want to wait for what at the time was called ‘wifely duties’.
Mary is cognizant enough of Maeve’s ill health to offer up Ceilidh instead. Ceilidh is about twenty, an old maid pretty much anywhere. Maeve is fifteen, and technically old enough to wed. After Ceilidh flees Ballyvaughan, Johnny and Maeve take up anyway. And when Ceilidh, Jake, Shannon, and Devon go to Ballyvaughan in the third book, Ceilidh discovers Maeve is living in her cottage. Ceilidh’s cottage, that is.
Yep, like they say on Facebook, “it’s complicated”.
People Ceilidh Doesn’t Like
While technically Johnny Barnes should be here, he belongs in the next section. These people aren’t necessarily enemies, per se. But they’re not pals with Ceilidh all the same.
Margery Cabot Edwards
Like in many wealthy American households of the time, it’s the lady of the house who is in charge of the servants. Mrs. Lowell is fair and smart, running her house like a business. Margery Cabot Edwards, on the other hand, is a snobby, spoiled rich girl, more than happy to treat all of her household help like dirt. But her maltreatment is a catalyst to get Ceilidh to find work elsewhere, with the Lowells.
Gerald Price
The lesser of the two louts working for the Lowell House, Gerald is a sexist, but that was par for the course at the time. This stable hand is a bit too nosy for his own good, but otherwise he and Ceilidh mainly stay out of each other’s way. Ceilidh’s semi-revenge is to hire Gerald in Book Three.
Gerald has his name because I’ve been in more than one working situation where a guy named Jerry was just the biggest jerk. My apologies to those who love people named Jerry (and hey, how about Jerry O’Connell?)! But I will often name a jerk in my writing Jerry, and that’s the case in the Time Addicts trilogy as well.
Donald Smith
This character got his name due to the election of the 45th president, a person who has never impressed me.
In the books, Donald is the gardener to not only the Edwards and Lowell Houses, but really to all or most of the Boston Brahmins. Talented and hard-working, he turns that on its head and uses his good qualities to get away with a lot. As a result, he has a girlfriend in nearly every house he works in, and most if not all of those relationships are sexual in nature.
With Ceilidh, he’s rough and nasty. Jealous of her education and her position with Devon, he’s also sexually attracted to her. He calls her Duchess, and he’s not trying to be flattering.
Donald’s comeuppance happens in Book Three (if you’ve only read the first two, trust me, it’s coming), and I spent a lot of time trying to come up with what would punish him the most. Did I succeed? You tell me.
Romantic Relationships
Johnny Barnes
The first time we see Johnny, he’s attacking Ceilidh for having the audacity to try to bring him home after he’s been on a multi-day bender. Most women of the time would have accepted his treatment, although a lot of Irish villages and towns would have held a shivaree.
While Johnny’s behavior is far from defensible, some of it stems from marrying the wrong sister. In some small way, he loves Maeve, but he doesn’t treat her much better than he does Ceilidh. But at least with Maeve, he ostensibly provides care for her and their sons. Well, kinda.
Jacob Radford
Their meeting is far from auspicious, as they first see each other at the Charles Street Jail, on opposite sides of bars. But there is something about Jake. Originally, he’s just her handsome, pleasant, polite suitor. And when he learns the truth of her marital status (covered in her quote, above), he’s all set to do the honorable thing and bow out. But when he learns why she’s in America, he takes up her cause, and is a large part of proving her case in the annulment hearing.
When they wed, he reveals real heat under his manners and Southern charm, and their sex life is certainly more active and consensual than it was for a lot of women at the time. But the time they truly grow close is when he reveals his secrets to her about his service in the Civil War. And when both of them see a possible future for themselves, he includes her in the decision-making, treating her far more like an equal than most husbands did in the 1870s and 1880s.
Conflict and Turning Point
Ceilidh experiences several turning points within the series, and the first one happens in the first scene. Wwhen the series starts, it’s 1876. In this time period, most women would have accepted abuse as their lot in life. But not Ceilidh. She’s not going to continue pretending everything is fine.
In the second book, I tackle more of her marriage to Johnny. The abuse is just the cherry on a nasty sundae.
Without giving away too many spoilers, Ceilidh changes with major upheavals in her life. This is whether they’re from the start or end of relationships, or from external factors like trouble with the law. And, of course, the main change in her life is by aliens.
Continuity/Easter Eggs
Ceilidh lives in two separate houses when she gets to the states. The first is at 85 Mount Vernon Street (the second Harrison Gray Otis House, pictured above). The other one is at 60 Beacon Street. Both are on Beacon Hill in Boston, and are exceptionally expensive properties.
Future Plans for Ceilidh O’Malley
I don’t necessarily have a lot of plans for Ceilidh, because I have already finished the trilogy. But people love her, and I suspect her early life or her future could be of interest to readers. So, I may not have seen the last of her.
Ceilidh O’Malley: Takeaways
For a character whose first appearance is a beating, Ceilidh O’Malley grows to become a somewhat middle class. She grows to become a certainly respectable member of Boston society.
And she ends up with powerful friends, a great love, and a promising future. Her happy ending is the kind any of us would wish for.
Ceilidh O’Malley — a character who turns around completely.
Want More of Ceilidh O’Malley?
If Ceilidh resonates with you, then check out my other articles about Ceilidh, Johnny, Devon, Frances, Shannon and everyone else as they work to prevent a temporally jacked-up genocide.
Consider this: positive reviews are the lifeblood of any independent author. We live for them! And they help us sell more books, which is really awesome. But how can you make them even better?
Caveats
Don’t provide a positive review in exchange for a positive one you just got. And don’t provide one in the hopes that you’ll get one in return. Personally, I very rarely give out five stars. A book has to truly leave me sock-free. I can enjoy a book immensely but still not give it five stars. However, I give out a lot of 3- and 4-star reviews, particularly to indie authors.
And if my review is a positive one, I spread it to as many places as I can.
Length
Just saying you loved a piece is not enough. It’s better than nothing, of course. But you, too, are a writer. You can do better than that! While you don’t have to hit an actual word count, it is more helpful if you give the review some time and attention. Naturally, if you are pressed for time or you have to do a lot of reviews, then you will not get into things like you would if your time was more open.
Plus it does not have to be a novel. A 50 – 150 word review should do nicely, unless it is a blog post. In that case, best practices for blog posts is 300 or more words. So adjust accordingly.
Specificity
Writers often get crippling self-doubt. Imposter syndrome is common. Generalized reviews don’t help much. Be clear about what you loved.
Scarlet O’Hara was a strong female character in a man’s world. What is most impressive about her is the fact that she was written in 1936. Hence Margaret Mitchell was almost revolutionary in writing her. While today we might scoff at some of Scarlet’s machinations, she still manages to be a memorable and memorably flawed character. Her motivations are clear and logical. Her endgame is satisfying.
While the author is no longer alive to read my praise, the paragraph still gets across my admiration for the work (I do, for real, like the book, although it’s not one of my absolute favorites, and I know it’s problematic). This is also a meatier review than just “It’s great!” The review does not just make the writer feel good; it also provides vital information for potential readers. As a result, it’s can help more with sales.
Spoiler-Free Positive Reviews
Please don’t give away the ending! My above review snippet about Gone With the Wind does not give away the ending. In fact, it gives away just about none of the plot at all.
I would write a longer review (the above bit is really just a part of it) where I would probably mention the US Civil War and Rhett Butler. I might get into Ashley Wilkes and Melanie Hamilton, particularly if I were writing a blog post and needed to make word count.
Spread the Love
There are several online places which take reviews.
Amazon reviews most directly affect a writer’s sales and potential sales. If you provide positive reviews on an obscure book blog read by only a few people, then the impact will not be as great. You can also review on other countries’ versions of Amazon (UK, Canada, etc.), GoodReads, CreateSpace, Barnes & Noble, or iBooks.
Positive Reviews Should Have a Call to Action to Read the Author’s Other Works
A call to action is anything from ‘click here’ to ‘buy this’. It is a statement online whereby you are asking someone to do something. It does not have to feel like a hard sell. Instead, you can write things like:
This book was fun and I can’t wait to see what else the writer has written.
I hear there is a sequel and I can’t wait.
I checked out the writer’s Amazon page (provide the link) and they are blogging there. I’m excited to read what they have to say.
Bad reviews can be tough to write! However, you need to write the occasional less than wonderful review in order to establish and maintain credibility. Not every novel is a stellar one. And not every effort is perfect and pristine. Pretending everything is awesome helps no one, and it undermines your credibility as a reviewer.
This blog post is about reviewing badly-written works. But if a work is out and out plagiarized, then have at it. That’s just plain wrong, and it may be copyright infringement.
Soothing Hurt Feelings and Maintaining the Relationship
Let’s face it. A less than glowing review is going to engender some hurt feelings. Plus there is every possibility a friendship will end over it. That’s not someone being a prima donna (at least, that isn’t necessarily the case). Rather, it’s that you just told someone their baby was ugly.
Yeah. It’s like that.
So, what do you do?
I believe one reasonable response is to essentially perform a cost-benefit analysis. Not everyone is a critic of any sort. Consider how hard it is to get your own work reviewed at all. It’s work!
And people like to be pleasant, plus they want very much to be liked. They may be a part of the community and hoping for positive feedback in return.
Or they might be friends or family. Hence we are all essentially graded on a curve. Know that going in.
One thing you can do is, delay and defer. Maybe that’s weasel behavior. But it will soften the blow if the negative review is not the first one anyone sees when researching a book. If someone already has 100 reviews, then it won’t be quite so noticeable.
Of course, lots of indie writers never get that many reviews. But you might be able to delay a bit.
Another idea is to go fast. Detail and length are not your friends here, so make it quick.
Consider the Audience
I suggested this for middling reviews. But it holds true here as well. Who is more likely to read your review? If the writers asks you to review on Amazon, then you are going to rather directly affect someone’s sales and potential sales.
But if you are being asked to review on an obscure book blog read by sixteen people, then the impact will not be as great. Plus you can initially post your negative review only on the obscure book blog.
Once the writer sees the review, I doubt he or she will push for you to share it on Amazon, GoodReads, CreateSpace, Barnes & Noble, or iBooks.
And, if you really want to be sensitive to the author’s feelings, you can also show them the review before you post. They may very well tell you not to bother.
Providing Constructive Criticism in Bad Reviews
While this is a good idea in theory, it’s not really what someone is looking for when they request a book review. Instead, rather than hearing that they should learn dialogue tags by checking out this Grammar Girl link, they want to read about how their book moved you.
However, you still might be able to slip in some constructive criticisms, and write things like I would love to see this book with shorter chapters; it might benefit from another round of edits or some strategic splitting. Or I was hoping for a less challenging mystery. This one was hard.
You’re not damning with faint praise but you’re also not putting lipstick on things.
And there’s no law that says you can’t privately message the writer and help them out with that kind of constructive feedback.
A Few Escape Hatches for Your Lousy Reviews
Preface a bad review with some escape hatches which will help the writer. After all, you’re not there to trash them, right? Here are a few ideas:
† I am not the intended audience for this work or genre. – For example, if you’re over 60 and asked to review YA, you probably aren’t in the intended audience. Maybe younger folks would be big fans.
• The work is unique. – Unless it’s plagiarized, this is nearly always going to be 100% honest and accurate.
† It is a good freshman effort. – This is straying into the realm of damning with faint praise. But it’s not a horrible thing to write about a work. Most people are not going to do well with their first novel. And that’s okay. Overnight successes are rare, and they should be.
• I really liked this one thing and think you should have written a lot more of it. – Liked one of the supporting characters? Enchanted by the setting? Think the plot was a good idea but poorly realized? Then this suggestion is for you.
Of course, you are not rewriting the piece for the writer. But your suggestions might just become helpful plot bunnies for them for later. Maybe they really will write a sequel or prequel, or revisit the scene, or rework the plot in another piece.
Salvage the Relationship by Privately Reviewing
You might be able to save things by privately telling someone – you don’t want me to post this review. There are review sites which will do this, and will often give the writer a choice. If a writer really wants reviews, they might be okay with a less than wonderful one.
You are presumably friendly or at least cordial with the writer. Give them a break and give them the option.
By the way, negative reviews can often help a new writer. Not only do they give the writer what could end up being really valuable feedback, they can even boost sales.
For consumers considering taking a chance on a new, unknown author, a rash of 5-star super-perfect reviews can seem suspect. But a few poor reviews can give the whole thing more credibility.
And here’s the kicker. No matter how bad your review is, it will still be listed on your reviewer page on Amazon (yes, they exist; just click on a reviewer’s name). This is a small spreading of news/linking back, and it will be helpful—almost no matter what you say. Almost.
How about Bad Reviews for Famous People?
If you only write 4- and 5-star reviews, then you are probably selling everyone short. Just like bad reviews can give a writer more credibility, they can also give the reviewer more credibility.
But if you don’t want to hurt your friends’ feelings, what do you do?
One idea is to review all sorts of books. Review classics where the writer is long dead. Or review popular works with hundreds or thousands of reviews where no one will notice your review much, anyway.
Did you hate reading The Scarlet Letter? Then go ahead and trash it on any review site you can find.
It’s not like Nathaniel Hawthorne is going to rise from the grave and complain, right?
Er, right?
Bad reviews are a little like medicine. Often unpleasant, but they can help cure problems! #amreviewing
Let’s be honest: fair to middling reviews are harder to write than either positive or negative ones. Why? Because there is definitely a skill involved. But you are probably going to write more of them than any other type of review. Why is that? Because truly superlative works are uncommon. At least, they should be.
As always, kindness should be your guide. The work isn’t out and out awful. It just needs some help. Mid-level reviews can be extremely helpful. They can provide valuable feedback for a new author. Because it is sweetened with praise and other positives, it is more palatable.
Consider the Audience
But who is most likely to read your review? If you review on Amazon, then anything you write is going to rather directly affect someone’s sales and potential sales. If you review on an obscure book blog read by only a few people, then the impact will not be as great.
So what happens if you post your middle of the road review only on the obscure book blog? Once the writer sees the review, he or she might not want to push for you to share it on Amazon, GoodReads, CreateSpace, Barnes & Noble, or iBooks. Or maybe the author will want to see your review spread all over the internet. It’s hard to say. Your mid-level review may be the best one they get.
And consider that the sheer number of reviews an author gets on Amazon will help with sales. A book with 500 reviews of varying stars and enthusiasm levels will have a link in at least 500 places (each reviewer has a page—wait, you didn’t know that?). If you click on the name of a reviewer, it lists all of their reviews. But a book with 5 stellar reviews? It’s only listed on the pages of 5 reviewers.
Now, both are important. But you can see that a volume of reviews will help an author. And if the best you can muster up is a fair to middle review, then go for it.
The Value of Middling Reviews
For a new author, potential buyers are often suspicious of 100% stellar reviews. Hence if the 5-star reviews are peppered with some 3-stars, then potential buyers tend to feel more comfortable that they are seeing accurate reviews that were not bought and paid for.
Furthermore, if the author has enough reviews (the number seems to be ten or more), Amazon will sort them by most helpful positive and most helpful negative. If your middling reviews are the most helpful negative reviews, that can actually help writers.
So, how do you get started?
The Shit Sandwich
Yeah, you read that right. Since this is not going to be a wholly negative review, you can split it into thirds. This makes it feel less unremittingly negative. The first third should be the smallest or smaller positive thing you have to say. In the middle is the negative thing you need to say. Finally, end with your strongest positive.
But why am I suggesting this particular order? Let’s look at some examples.
Consider These Examples of Middling Reviews
The Cowardly Lion character was fantastic and very credible. The Tin Woodsman was dull. Dorothy was okay.
The Dorothy character was all right but could have used some work. The Tin Woodsman was hard to take at times. My favorite character was the Cowardly Lion.
The Tin Woodsman was terrible. Dorothy was passable. The Cowardly Lion was amazing.
In the first example, you might think it’s a purely positive review. It’s easy to forget the negative in the middle when the positive starts off so strongly. In the third example, the writer is put on the defensive nearly immediately. The review feels negative, even though the end is positive.
Further, in the second instance, the first part is generally positive albeit with constructive criticism. The middle part is negative. But it gives a specific reason for the reviewer’s negative reaction. This is also something the writer could potentially build on and fix in later works. And the final part adds a positive personal touch.
Of course you would never write such a simplistic review. Plus you are reading this blog but you are not the author of The Wizard of Oz. So, these quickie reviews are not personal to you. Therefore, substitute your own work, and consider how each review would make you feel.
Length
Because this is not a negative review, you can add some length to it. But because it’s not unremittingly positive, it does not have to be lengthy. The ideal length is probably about 50 to 100 words. If you want to say more, contact the writer in private. For self-published works, editing and republishing are usually pretty easy. Hence if you find a glaring translation error, the writer can fix it. You can save the day with your review.
Ending on a High Note
End with a positive. Seriously. Don’t lie, but there is no reason to be nasty. Be encouraging; so many indies suffer self-doubt. This is your opportunity to be kind. After all, next time, you may be in the hot seat.
Middling reviews — semi-tough love for writers. #amreviewing
Dammit. So, have you heard the latest, about how NaNo has essentially shot themselves in the foot, again? This one is harder to forgive than the community management debacle. And so, I am drawing a line in the sand (finally, I suppose). Sorry, but RIP NaNoWriMo.
Why Would I Ever Say RIP NaNoWriMo? And Why Now?
I’ll start from the semi-beginning. NaNoWriMo was fun and cute and kinda wholesome. It’s how Untrustworthy was published in the first place. Then, in the last year or so, their forums moderation truly fell apart. Apparently, pedo-type content was being served to minors. Lovely, not.
And so, NaNo decided, okay, we’ll certify our volunteer moderators. But then I thought, well, it’s not great, but it’s something. And, I’ve seen plenty of places simply fall down when it came to moderation. Yeah, I’m looking at you, Facebook.
And, in retrospect, it feels like the issue with content moderation was almost inevitable. Why? Because they really didn’t have good safeguards in place, and there were minors on the site, with very little supervision.
It all started on my birthday. Er, thanks, universe. NaNoWriMo put out this FAQ about AI.
In case it’s yanked later, it starts off like this:
NaNoWriMo does not explicitly support any specific approach to writing, nor does it explicitly condemn any approach, including the use of AI.
Sounds kinda promising, eh?
If they had stopped there, I could have cautiously thrown my support, albeit with some personal reservations about it. But then, they added this:
We believe that to categorically condemn AI would be to ignore classist and ableist issues surrounding the use of the technology, and that questions around the use of AI tie to questions around privilege.
Wait, what?
Classism
NaNo wrote:
Not all writers have the financial ability to hire humans to help at certain phases of their writing. For some writers, the decision to use AI is a practical, not an ideological, one. The financial ability to engage a human for feedback and review assumes a level of privilege that not all community members possess.
Using AI as a spellchecker or a grammar checker is not the issue, or at least it should not be. And if people aren’t in critique groups or can’t find one or don’t like them, using AI instead is, I suppose, a decent substitute.
So far, so good. Kinda, sorta.
But I’m already uncomfortable.
Ableism
NaNo wrote:
Not all brains have same abilities and not all writers function at the same level of education or proficiency in the language in which they are writing. Some brains and ability levels require outside help or accommodations to achieve certain goals. The notion that all writers “should“ be able to perform certain functions independently or is a position that we disagree with wholeheartedly. There is a wealth of reasons why individuals can’t “see” the issues in their writing without help.
This is why editors exist. Critique partners and groups. Friends. Hell, the reviews on Amazon (assuming they’re not just from someone with an axe to grind) can help to do this.
As real-life writers who I know, who are disabled have said—we (er, they) may do it more slowly, but they can still git ‘er done. And without dragging AI into it.
General Access Issues
NaNo wrote:
All of these considerations exist within a larger system in which writers don’t always have equal access to resources along the chain. For example, underrepresented minorities are less likely to be offered traditional publishing contracts, which places some, by default, into the indie author space, which inequitably creates upfront cost burdens that authors who do not suffer from systemic discrimination may have to incur.
… and what? The fact that some writers have less financial means than others is nothing new. And the fact that a good cover is expensive? Not news, either. Is this to somehow wrap the use of AI for a cover in virtue? Well, I got some virtue-style news for NaNo.
Given that AI is trained on all sorts of stuff with no artist permissions, it is the biggest copyright infringer on the planet. So, what’s better? A lousy cover that at least you own? But you don’t sell anything? Or a sharpish AI cover which infringes and looks creepy?
Don’t they both stink, not just in terms of virtue, but in terms of feeling like you’re doing the right thing?
Or, hey, here’s an idea.
How about paying an actual artist?
But, but Costs!
Yeah, I get it. It’s not cheap. Nope, it’s not. Writing is a pretty expensive hobby/side gig.
So, try Fiverr.
Here’s another idea. Work with someone you know who’s got a decent handle on Photoshop or Adobe Indesign, and get a good photograph. How do you get a good photograph? Take one if you’re talented or pay someone you know who’s talented. Or buy one from a place that sells stock photos.
Another idea? Save your pennies. And yeah, it won’t happen immediately. Maybe your up to the minute, ripped from the headlines thriller is a rush and should be out there ASAP.
But that’s an exception, not the rule.
Here’s a Little Secret
Shh. Tell no one!
But seriously, folks. The world can wait a bit for your novel about a vampire rodeo rider from Alpha Centauri who fights crime in their spare time.
Dang, now I want to write this.
But in the meantime, I hate to say it, but I will.
I’m sorry, but it’s over. It’s not me, it’s you. So RIP NaNoWriMo. We had a good run, you and me. I loved you fiercely. But it’s over.
But What About This November and the Others, Ever Onward?
Here’s another little secret.
You don’t need them, and neither do I. We can write whenever we want to. I loved the urgency of it, and the event feeling of it. But the event feeling has been gone for a while now. And guess what? I (and you, too) can create my own urgency.
I like doing this in November, partly for nostalgic reasons but also because it’s a holiday-like event. And I like that it’s near the end of the year, but not quite.
So, I’ll be doing something similar. But I’ll call it 30Day50k.
You want to join me? It’s free. There are no forums. No police. And no counters. It’s totally the honor system. Ain’t got no prizes.
This post is a riff on a rather old post, Do You Know What You Look Like Online. Essentially, the question is, if you were searching for someone (someone just like you, perhaps), what sorts of judgments would you make? What seems off?
What’s being suppressed, which aspects should you be promoting, and vice versa? Is the picture clear or fuzzy?
The gist of that article is, take control of your information, keep it as a uniform brand and check it every month or so. The corollary to this is one from Shama Hyder Khabani, which is, essentially, don’t spread yourself too thin. Concentrate in only a few places.
My Own Information—What I Look Like Online
Absolutely agreed. When I google my own last name, 40,900 hits come up. And, fortunately, my own website is on page 1 (Yay, SEO!). My Entrepreneur profile (writing I did for work) comes up on the first page of results. So do my Twitter/X and LinkedIn profiles.
Also on the first page are my Facebook profile, and my Amazon author page. Get to page 2 and there’s my profile on YouTube.
Another Angle
Putting my last name into quotation marks yields 6,480 hits. All of the same usual suspects come up on Page One of the results. And nothing is too weird or scandalous. Even MuckRack, which essentially just scrapes for your name, doesn’t have anything bad.
To my mind, checking and rechecking every single month might just be a bit excessive. Is there a need to keep your profile accurate? Sure. Flattering, or at least not damaging? Yes, particularly if you are looking for work.
But to keep it sterile and perfect, as you scramble to make it perfect every moment of every day? Eh, probably not so much.
My own profile is the product of just doing a lot, and it being published. It’s easy to find flattering info on me. What I look like online is competent more than anything else. There’s nothing radical.
As for less flattering stuff, well, let’s just say that I am glad the internet wasn’t around when I was in high school.
Yikes.
But…
I would like to think (am I naïve? Perhaps I am) that potential clients and employers will see the occasional typo and will, for the most part, let it slide unless the person is in copyediting.
I am not saying that resumes, for example, should not be as get-out perfect as possible. What I am saying, though, is that this kind of obsessive and constant vigilance seems a bit, I don’t know, much.
Will the world end if I accidentally type there instead of their on this blog? And, does it matter oh so much if I don’t catch the accident immediately? Even when you consider that I’m a writer. After all, I should know better, yes?
I mean, with all of this brushing behind ourselves to cover up and/or perfect our tracks, and all of the things we are leaving behind, where’s the time and energy to make fresh, new content and look in front of ourselves?
Clean Up Your Presence
To me, there is little joy in reading a blog post or website that looks like the person who put it together was barely literate. But there is also little joy in reading sterile, obsessively perfect websites and blog posts.
A little imperfection, I feel, is a bit of letting the ole personality creep in there. Genuineness – isn’t that what the whole Social Media experience is supposed to be about, anyway?
I refuse to believe – I hope and I pray – that a bit of individuality never cost me potential jobs or any company I’ve ever worked for potential clients.
And if it has, then that saddens me, to feel that, perhaps, people are paying a lot of lip service to the genuineness of Social Media but, when the chips are down, it’s just the same ole, same ole.
Genuineness is great. One you can fake that, you’ve got it made? Please, say it ain’t so.
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