But that should change in the future. How soon in the future? Er, what am I, a fortune teller?
I have ambitions, and I also have content. God knows that I have content.
But right now, I just plain do not have the bandwidth.
So, a big part of my life these days is getting my act in gear enough so that I can get the bandwidth.
And these days, it is not even a lack of organization.
So, what did Dolly Parton write?
Stumble out of bed and off to the kitchen
Pour myself a cup of ambition
I will take that entire vat of ambition, thank you very much.
Drink it Up
Oh, if it were only that easy!
And I do not think that it is, necessarily, a lack of ambition. It is more a problem with facing a mountain. Every damned day.
But of course, I know that you face a mountain of your own every single day, too. Maybe you are writing but are also taking care of kids. Or maybe you are working a full-time job and also a side gig.
Everyone has their own troubles. Every single person has their own issues and obstacles.
So, Dolly, I think you had better pour a vat for each and every one of us. And ever and anon.
Because I am so not giving up on this dream. No way.
And Finally, it’s Time to Review Time Addicts: Everything is Up For Grabs
So what, exactly, do I mean by ‘everything is up for grabs’? Because as the timelines get ever more confusing, what isn’t on the table?
So, this trilogy of terms came to me after I had been writing the first book for a few weeks. But it snapped it all into sharp focus with these terms. With this, the final book in the trilogy, it seems as if everything is unraveling for Josie and co.
But in a society where you can change time on a whim, how could anything ever be permanent? Also, just as importantly, are there any anchors in life? Or are we all simply destined to be buffeted around by time forever?
With this, the final book in the sub-trilogy, the anchors feel as loose and ephemeral as a sack of feathers. But the bad guys, of course, offer a way to again achieve stability and equilibrium.
If she wants to go that route.
Background
Josie thinks she has seen the most drastic of the timeline changes already. But now they are getting focused, and the bad guys, calling themselves the Yester Gang, are tired of playing around.
Now, their focus is no longer split and they are going after nothing short of all-out genocide of the Obolonk race.
Plot
As the Yester Gang focuses more, Josie receives more mysterious messages which seem to be telling her that she has to act—but how?
The support beams in her life are being kicked out from under her, and Josie has no idea who she can trust. Maybe the best answer is, no one.
Characters
For this piece, the characters are Josie James, Dalton Farouk, Keisha Darnell, Bobby Brodie, Tad Lewis, Cyndi Mendez, Dr. Carmen D’Angelo, and Tommy 2000. Plus there’s also Josie’s enormous family, who flit in and out of the storyline.
Bad guy characters include Marty Quinlan and also his two nonbinary employees/lovers – Velvet Monroe and Daisy Dukes. There’s also Elston Young and Corwin Zachary.
Memorable Quotes from Time Addicts: Everything is Up For Grabs {Josie is talking to her Wingbot. The time change? All the time zones have been changed}
She waved her left hand over her right wrist and a display came up, also in midair. Into it, she said, “Time. Date. Temperature.”
Downstairs, with background noise of gentle wingbeats, came the answer from her Wingbot, 42753, “December the fourth, twenty-five twenty-seven. The time is six AM Eastern-Atlantic time. The temperature is one point sixty-six seven degrees Celsius.”
“Wait, what?”
“It is December the fourth…”
Josie scrunched up her face. Something felt off. “No, not that, Wing. The other part.”
“The temperature?” asked the Wingbot. There was a slight sound of small mechanical feet landing on the kitchen counter.
“No, wait a second.” She rubbed her forehead. Regular early morning nausea—for more than a decade of her life—made morning coffee a nice idea in theory but a terrible one in practice. Fully waking up would have to wait until she got to work, which was on another continent. “The time, Wing.”
“Six oh three.”
“You didn’t say that before.” Absently, she pulled a blue towel from the rack and started to dry her auburn hair.
“Well, the time has changed.”
Josie fought to not become angry with the small, semi-sapient robot, that was only doing its job. “I get that part. You mentioned the time zone?”
“Oh, do you like that? I recently received new instructions from Central Programming, to include a time zone whenever time is requested. If it is bothersome, I can remove it from that subroutine.”
“No, that’s fine.” Albeit weird.
Rating for Everything is Up For Grabs
The story has a K+ rating.
Upshot
I think I ended this middle trilogy well. But I know that the third book didn’t really get cooking until maybe Chapter 21 or so. Also, it’s over 167,000 words long! But at the time of writing this blog post, I had not yet started to edit it.
The second book is short and the first is kind of in the middle. I would rather not append the first 20 or so chapters to the end of the second book and call it a day.
Rather, I need to edit this beast with a chainsaw.
Wish me luck.
When everything is up for grabs, do timelines have any meaning at all? #amwriting
Want More About The Time Addicts Trilogy?
If this article resonates with you, then check out my other articles about this sub-trilogy that’s all about time travel and how it can go more than a little bit, shall we say, ca ca.
It’s Time to Review Time Addicts: Nothing is Permanent
So, what, exactly, do I mean by ‘nothing is permanent’?
A certain trilogy of terms came to me after I had been writing the first book for a few weeks. But it snapped it all into sharp focus with these terms. I loved the terms so much that they are the subtitles of each of these three books.
So, in a society where you can change time on a whim, how could anything ever be permanent? And, just as importantly, are there any anchors in life?
As the timelines start to really melt and change, Josie’s life turns upside-down.
Background
After receiving the aforesaid message, Josie realizes she’s feeling physically worse and, at the same time, getting more confused about the shifting timelines. They are still relatively coherent. At least, for a while.
Plot
As the timelines continue to shift, Josie witnesses odder and odder changes. Many of them seem to be almost pleasant. Could the other side be, perhaps, trying to change time in order to please her?
The idea is intriguing. Because, could it be that she’s somehow, and in some way, being recruited?
Nothing is Permanent But the Characters
The characters are Josie James, Dalton Farouk, Keisha Darnell, Jerry Brodie, Tad Lewis, Cyndi Mendez, Dr. Carmen D’Angelo, and Tommy 2000.
Plus there’s also Josie’s family, who flit in and out of the storyline. And, there are the bad guys, namely Marty Quinlan and his two nonbinary employees, who go by the names Velvet Monroe and Daisy Dukes.
Memorable Quotes from Time Addicts: Nothing is Permanent {Josie and Bobby are entering the office at the New Howard Theater, where there are puzzles and barriers to entry to OIA HQ}
But it turned out that she didn’t need the umbrella, as she did not arrive alone. “Hi, Bob.”
“Heyas.” He was carrying a fairly large bakery box from Ashmont Annie’s.
“You’re here early,” she said, as she started the process of getting through the first barrier to entry.
“What are you talking about, Josie? I’m always bright and early.”
“No, you aren’t.”
“Yes, I am.”
“No, really, I have never, ever seen you early. Your habit is not to be early.”
“I am always bright and early. C’mon,” he said, voice taking on an edge of frustration.
“I, no, I don’t think so. I don’t think anyone in the Department of Temporal Narcotics has ever seen you come in early. You just aren’t an early kind of a guy.”
“For fuck’s sake, Josie, I am.”
She backed off.
No, you aren’t. You have never, ever been early in all the time I’ve known you, Bobby Brodie.
“Sorry.”
“No problem; we’ll all under stress. Can you hold these so I can get the wheel on the ceiling?”
“Sure thing.” She peeked inside the box. It was a dozen assorted doughnuts, including her absolute favorite, Boston Cream.
“Who’re all these doughnuts for?” she asked as he turned the wheel and a door slid open to yet another antechamber.
“The team, silly.”
“Really? Since when do you bring in doughnuts for everybody?”
“Since when do I not?”
“Since ever.”
“Wrong again, Josie. Y’know, if you piss me off enough, I will stop bringing in Boston Creams for you.”
“You buy those just for me?”
“Yeah. And I get blueberry for Tad, sour cream – I have no idea why she likes it – for Carmen, you know.”
No, I don’t know.
Rating
The story has a K+ rating.
Upshot
So, one thing about middle books, for me, is they tend to be more romance-centric. Also, they tend to be the shortest books. And while I do not amp up the romance, it is still the shortest of the three books, clocking in at under 70,000 words before editing.
I don’t feel the need to increase this one. Rather, I still want to cut it and the first and the first 40% of the third book. So, while I won’t go until 50,000 words, I will still, I hope, get this one to under 60,000.
When nothing is permanent, where are your temporal anchors? #amwriting
Want More About The Time Addicts Trilogy?
If this article resonates with you, then check out my other articles about this sub-trilogy that’s all about time travel and how it can go more than a little bit, shall we say, ca ca.
The trilogy of terms came to me after I had been writing this, the first book, for a few weeks. But then it snapped it all into sharp focus.
So, the premise was, to me, irresistible. What would happen if you could travel in time via the application of drugs? And with the idea of drugs came the idea of addicts.
So, what if people were addicted to time travel?
Background
Josie James is an ordinary cop in the Boston Meg, about 500 years from the present time. But then she gets a semi-mysterious invitation to a large, group job interview.
She’s not dissatisfied, but she is intrigued, as the invitation comes from the OIA—the Orb Intelligence Agency. The OIA is the successor agency to the CIA. The money is off-the-charts excellent. And it looks interesting. But there are a few… irregularities.
Plot
A group is brought together to handle a problem with temporal addiction and the illegal manufacture of time travel drugs. But all is not as it seems, for the illegal acts are organized and may even have an overall purpose.
Plus, we see Kevin O’Connor and his spouse, Addie.
Memorable Quotes from Time Addicts: No One is Safe {Chapter 13; Dalton and Josie are talking; he speaks first}
“Even though. So, tell me, outlaw Josie James, you said plural brothers and sisters. Just how many are we talking about? And more importantly, how many of them can beat me up?”
“You’ll laugh.”
“No, I won’t.” He crossed his heart. “Nonexistent scout’s honor.”
“Okay, you asked for it. I am the youngest of ten.”
He nearly spit his drink. “Holy crap. You already had your own squad the day you were born.”
“Pretty much. As for the beating up part, I’m thinking the only ones who might, maybe, be able to do that are Deb and Em. And they’re twins, so you’d get tag teamed.”
“I see. Why them?”
“They got bit by the farming bug but so did Aaron. But he’s a few years from sixty so I’m thinking his beating up days are over unless it’s a viewer remote when the Pintos lose.”
“Big baseball fan then. So, wait, he’s twentysomething years older than you?”
“Yep. And before you ask, he’s not the outlier; I am. He’s twenty-three years older than me and is the oldest. Going on down to Ian, the ninth in our merry little band, who’s nine years older than me. Aaron’s first born is older than I am by a few months.”
“Whoa. See, me, I’m the eldest. It’s just me and Maryam. She raises schnauzers and shows them. I think our mom’s getting tired of showing, so she and Dad are grooming Maryam to pass the torch and stuff. I’m the Black Sheep of the family, the only one on the force. Or rather I was. What do your folks do?”
She pinched the bridge of her nose and took a swig of coffee before answering. “They died when I was eleven. Skimmer accident over Nereid.”
No One is Safe (from a) Rating
The story has a K+ rating.
Upshot
I loved kicking off this series although I can see places to cut this one. When I ended NaNoWriMo, it was just under 97k words long, and it is should probably go down to the upper 80s or so.
Which timeline is right, when no one is safe? #amwriting
Want More About The Time Addicts Trilogy?
If this article resonates with you, then check out my other articles about this sub-trilogy that’s all about time travel and how it can go more than a little bit, shall we say, ca ca.
Time Addicts Characters:
• Josie James
† Carmen D’Angelo, MD
• Dalton Farouk
† Tad Lewis
• Cyndi Mendez
† Bobby Brodie
• Keisha Darnell
† Vera Travers
Josie’s Family:
• Aaron James
† Avalon (Loni) James
• Bryan James-Rosen
† Harvey James-Rosen
• Chasten James-Rosen
† Ellen James-Rosen
• Matthew James-Rosen
† Connie James
• Deborah James Vinson
† Tyrell Vinson
• Nichelle Vinson
† Troy Vinson
• Emily James
† Frances James Walsh
• Gina Walsh
† Gregory James
• Mercedes Perez James
† Hailey James Shapiro
• Dov Shapiro
† Dinah Shapiro
• Saddik Shapiro
† Ian James
Plot creation can be a somewhat personal experience. And I will be the first to admit that my methods can often be haphazard.
So sometimes, for me, plots come from prompts (my own or others’) or even from dreams. Or I will connect seemingly disparate things, people, scenes, characteristics, etc.
In addition, I like to engage in what I like to call thought experiments. So why is something the way it is? And what happens if one key element changes? Does the thing fall apart? Or can it become something new and different? Or even better?
A big part of writing well is making your plot—even if you’re mostly flying by the seat of your pants.
Getting to the Point
Because I tend to plan out what I write, I often write with a point in mind. Now, this isn’t necessarily that I want to lecture anyone. Instead, it’s more that I want to say something perhaps a smidgen grander than just the plot and the characters.
For example, the point of Untrustworthy is about not letting your personal freedoms slip away. The point of the Obolonks is to look beyond the surface at people. So for The Enigman Cave, the point is that evolution works, no matter where you go.
In addition, in Real Hub, the point is to set aside class and wealth and judge intelligence and talent instead. And finally, in Mettle, the point is to work together for the greater good.
The Germ of an Idea
But before we can get to the point, we have to start from somewhere. For Untrustworthy, The Enigman Cave, and The Real Hub of the Universe, a killer opening line drove the plot bus.
Untrustworthy: There was nothing easy about it.
The Enigman Cave: Life is common.
The Real Hub of the Universe: The greatest treasure in the galaxy is the truth.
Other plots came about in other ways (of course). The Obolonks originally came from two things. One was a means of using The Wizard of Oz in a perverse fashion. The other was to show a tripartite society.
Mettle absolutely came out of a thought experiment: what would happen if some of the elements on the periodic table started to disappear?
And Time Addicts came about because I wanted to see what could happen if you could travel in time by taking drugs. Drugs led to the idea of addicts, and I was off to the races.
Plot Creation: Some Takeaways
Let your mind wander as you consider plots. Have you ever wondered about something or other? Or have you thought: I can do or make something better than what’s out there? Those can form the framework for plots!
How do YOU create a plot? Here’s how I do it. #amwriting
I didn’t originally have much of a plan for her. She was a necessary character, because I did see Eleanor Braverman needing this kind of medical help. But unlike others such as Kitty and Mink, or Craig or Elise, Mei-Lin didn’t have too much of a voice to start.
A bit like Ixalla, I didn’t really start to understand her until I started writing her.
The Past is Prologue—Backstory for Dr. Quan
When we first see Mei-Lin, she’s packed and leaving Los Angeles, bound for Boston. One of her last acts in California is to write to her ex and tell him to quit bothering her, or else she’ll block him. But that’s most of what we (and I) know.
Characteristics
I wanted at least one character to be a bit overweight, so I essentially elected her to the task. Because the first seven or so chapters exist to foreshadow much of the rest of the story, her weight does the job admirably. For, who to better contrast with starving characters than an overweight one?
As I wrote her, I learned that she has a high voice, almost like a child’s. In addition, she gets lost easily, with virtually no sense of direction. Furthermore, her family is from Taiwan. And, at least one relative still calls that island Formosa. I also got to know that she had an ex, Chou.
And Chou wasn’t so happy with being her ex.
Purpose/Theme/Motivation: Dr. Quan at Work
There are four characters who I show at work. Five, I suppose, if you count Olga—and I suppose you should. I show Noah at the Boston Globe. And I show Elise working in the St. Botolph’s morgue. In addition, I show Craig working at NASA. And I show Olga caring for Eleanor. Now, the kids and Eleanor understandably do not have jobs.
But I show Mei-Lin at work more than anyone else but Craig. There are scenes of her getting to work, and starting and ending her day. Plus, I’ve got her seeing patients and even performing surgery. Mei-Lin Quan is, like any other orthopedic surgeon, busy.
Her motivation throughout the piece is to be a healing peacemaker. Unlike the other characters, she doesn’t toughen up much, not even at the end.
Portrayal
I came up with Japanese actress Keiko Kitigawa, and it was mainly due to the above image. But I am open to persuasion to change my mind and choose someone else. If American audiences know her at all, it’s from The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift. But I think it would be better to have an actress of Chinese extraction. I don’t know. Landi Li is too young (although I do like that she was born on my birthday!).
So, if you’ve got a better idea for a portrayal, let me know in the comments section, thanks.
Quotes
The door to the sedan opened, and out staggered a woman of Asian descent with red eyes and messed up hair that looked like she had been sleeping in the sedan for days. She had her purse with her, along with a plastic bag with the logo of St. Botolph’s printed on the side, and a small gym bag. She squinted at Elise. “Do I know you?”
“St. B’s, right?” asked Elise. It was as reasonable a question as any, considering the hospital was one of the few places Elise ever went where there ever were other people.
“Yeah, Orthopedics, Mei-Lin Quan. I think I gave you a ride home a week ago? Days ago? I can’t figure out what day it is.”
“I hear that. And yeah, I remember now. Elise Jeffries. This your car?”
“No. Mine’s in the lot up there, back at St. B’s, if it still is at all.”
“You mean someone stole it?”
“No, at least, hell, I have no idea.” Mei-Lin said, putting her gym bag down and rubbing the bridge of her nose in the cold. “More like wrecked it. There was, God, it was anarchy at the hospital.”
“Anarchy?”
Relationships
I have nearly nothing on Mei-Lin and Chou, save for her family pressuring her to marry him—and her refusal. But this will come when I write the prequel.
With Craig Firenze, she’s nervous and excited. They joke around but are also serious. They’re awkward and romantic, too.
Conflict and Turning Point
On what would normally have been a hot summer solstice, there’s a nor’easter. Mei-Lin (like a lot of other people during pressure drops) feels wonky all day. But hope returns when she looks at Craig.
Continuity/Easter Eggs
There really aren’t any Easter Eggs for this character.
Future Plans
Like with the other characters in Mettle, I don’t have any future plans for Mei-Lin beyond the prequel.
Dr. Mei-Lin Quan: Takeaways
This character turned from functional to essential as I wrote her. A lot like Ixalla!
Dr. Mei-Lin Quan — a character who found herself while I found her.
Want More of Mei-Lin and the Rest of Mettle?
If Mettle resonates with you, then check out my other articles about how changes in the periodic table nearly kill us all.
And, much like a fan fiction novel called Reversal, it begins with a dream. Yet that makes perfect sense, as a dream inspired it.
And the dream, originally, was of seeing scenery change before my eyes. I have had this same dream before and since, and have written about it before and since, yet in different ways every time.
Yes, I am well aware that this is a cliché. Ah, well.
Plot
As Tathrelle begins the part of her life related by the story, the reader sees flashbacks of what seems like a dream and then seems like an earlier existence. However, the older life gets cut short in favor of the new.
Tathrelle’s waking life, instead, centers around her wife Ixalla, and the children they are about to have. Past is prologue.
The Cabossians, a species made up by me, can have children in any combination, so long as both parties are fertile. Hence both mpreg and all varieties of marriage (same- and mixed-sex) figure in the plot.
Furthermore, Tathrelle’s new job drives a lot of the action, as she has just won an election and represents the people in what obviously starts off as a military dictatorship. Also, in the background, a disembodied voice tells the people what to do.
The first statements come out more as helpful hints and requests, such as to thank the public transportation driver or set the thermostat to a particular setting.
The main characters are Tathrelle, Ixalla, Velexio, Adger, and Students Number Five and Seventeen, along with a character just referred to as the unknown girl. The scene is solely on the planet Caboss, in the Central City.
One thing that surprised me as I wrote is that the main character, Tathrelle, did not turn out to be my favorite. Instead, that honor belongs to Ixalla. Ixalla was originally not much more than an expository mouthpiece. But she really took flight when she became a revolutionary.
Memorable Quote
Ixalla yelled to them all, “This is the very last vestige of your privacy, and it is going up in smoke! You are all voluntarily giving it up! And for what? Is it for some vague notion of security? For the new requirement that anyone who is fertile is not just privileged, but that they are – we are – somehow, now, required to prove our fecundity? What will we have to prove next?”
Music
The inspirational song for this book is Bastille’s Pompeii. Over ten years later, and I am still incapable of hearing the song without thinking of the book, and vice versa.
Story Postings
Unlike some of the other works in this blog (as of now), this story is for sale (see below). It is not truly ‘posted’ anywhere. Even on the NaNoWriMo site, all you can find is a very short snippet.
There is a prequel, Unreliable. I suspect it will be better for me to make and keep that one permanently free. Perhaps it could be a perk for signing up for my writer newsletter? I’m not sure yet.
Rating for Untrustworthy
The story is Rated T. When the messages from the disembodied voice start to turn nasty, the story becomes violent very quickly.
Untrustworthy Takeaways
Without giving away more of the plot, I think the story is okay but the truth is, I have written better since then.
However, I feel it is a great first effort for publication. Furthermore, I feel it works in some ways to get me into the publishing game, but then what?
I feel the book had pretty good promotions but not great promotions. I know it has more reviews than a lot of other indie works, but not as many as others. Sales come few and far between.
And, I can lay a lot of the blame for lackluster sales on myself. I needed to be more proactive.
Can Untrustworthy serve as an entrée for diverse works such as the space opera of The Enigman Cave, the science fiction detective stories in The Obolonk Murders and its successor series, the Victorian urban fantasy of The Real Hub of the Universe and its two sequels?
Or the odd science fiction dystopia of Mettle? Or the fictional coming of age story/memoir of The Duck in the Seat Cushion?
Stay tuned, and I thank you, as always, for your kind and unwavering support. I appreciate you every single day.
Untrustworthy has been good to me. But it is tough to make it a hashtag! #amreviewing
Consider Elise Jeffries, One of My Original Characters
Who is Elise Jeffries?
She sprang, semi-formed, when I was first starting to put together Mettle. I needed for Noah to have a bounce-off person. I also needed to have at least one medical character.
Elise became a runner while I was writing Mettle. That was not my initial idea for her. And so, since I didn’t have a surname for her then, I gave her the last name of a friend who is a marathon runner.
Where Did Elise Jeffries Come From?
By the time I started to put together Mettle, I had already written snarky characters like Peri Martin, Greg Shapiro, and Trixie LaRue.
I had also written LGBTQ+ characters, most notably Ixalla and Tathrelle, in Untrustworthy. So, Elise wasn’t a wholly unfamiliar idea. But her execution was different. In particular, I saw her as being mixed-race but essentially identifying as Black.
The Past is Prologue — Backstory for Elise Jeffries
In Chapter 11 – Sb, Elise reveals that she and Noah have known each other for almost twenty years. That book was written before the pandemic, and originally took place in 2020. Hence they would have met in about 2000 or 2001.
Apart from her divorce from her wife, there’s virtually nothing on Elise’s history. Although I don’t see her as a native New Englander. So, she came from somewhere or other.
Descriptions
My first description of Elise is from Chapter 2 – Ti:
… a dark-skinned woman in her early fifties already seated at the table. Her curly hair sprang in all directions, barely contained by a red bandanna which accessorized a lab coat that had Suffolk County Morgue, E. Jeffries embroidered on the breast pocket.
So, she didn’t have a lot of description, and I don’t believe I ever really rectified that in the book.
For an actress who I would use as inspiration, I originally thought of Angela Bassett. But after seeing Star Trek: Picard, it was Michele Hurd all the way.
She has a good mix of snark and smarts, and feels like she could play a character who swears pretty much nonstop, but is also, most of the time, the smartest person in the room.
Quotes
“But what? Craig, in case you hadn’t noticed, the world is ending or just about there and we are totally isolated and that’s about the best way to describe our situation. We don’t even know if there’s anyone else out there at all when you really think about it. We’ve seen no one else in months, and we sure as hell haven’t heard anyone. So maybe wrap your head around the concept that you should cut one of the last women on Earth a little slack, particularly seeing as you’re not Prince Charming yourself. Go and grab the little gusto you can because God only knows how long we’re gonna be able to sustain this.” (Mettle, Chapter 21 — Nb)
Relationships
Offscreen, Elise is a divorcée, already estranged from her ex-wife, Tony, for a few years when Mettle starts. She and Noah Braverman are extremely good friends. Noah has an idea that he would like more. But Elise is unsure. She doesn’t want to mess up an excellent friendship.
By the time Mettle ends, she still isn’t in a romantic relationship.
Conflict and Turning Point
Much like for the rest of the cast of Mettle, the conflict is a slow burn of how the world is ending as the metals of the period table start to disappear or undergo a transformation.
And, for the rest of the cast, the turning point is the same: the chapter where a vital metallic element starts to transform into … something.
Continuity/Easter Eggs
Much of the book takes place on the real street I live on (the street names have been changed). Elise’s home is an illegal apartment inside an old Victorian which was probably a boarding house at one time. The exterior is a house around the corner which is up an enormous, steep hill.
And the interior ground floor matches the ground floor of a house my husband and I looked at before we bought our home. That building is around the other corner from our home. As for the inside of Elise’s apartment, it’s fairly generic.
Finally, because Elise is a snarky professional woman, I can trace some of her origins back to Marnie Shapiro and even Peri Martin. All three of them could easily spout sarcasm 24/7.
Future Plans
Unfortunately, I don’t have any future plans for her because there are no future plans for any of the characters in Mettle, a one-off. But I like the character, so maybe I’ll give her a backstory one of these days.
Elise Jeffries: Takeaways
This smart, sarcastic character also loves fiercely. She was a lot of fun to bring to life.
Elise Jeffries — because doesn’t your story need a smartass?
Want More of Elise and the Rest of Mettle?
If Mettle resonates with you, then check out my other articles about how changes in the periodic table nearly kill us all.
“It’s time,” I said, “to talk about dialogue tags.”
What are dialogue tags? Why do they matter? For anyone who writes fiction—and even for a lot of people who write nonfiction—inevitably, a character says something or other.
Yes, yes, I know about picture books. But I’m not talking about them here. They are a rather small subset of the writing experience. And virtually ever other genre is 100% filled with books where there is at least one line of dialogue.
Oh, and if you’re here for social media advice, sorry! This one’s only for writers. Unless dialogue tags float your boat. #NotJudging
What are Dialogue Tags, Anyway?
So, what is it that I’m writing about?
These are the bits of written speech where a person is designated as being the speaker.
Er, what?
“I like cheese,” she said.
Over there ↑, that she said part? That is a dialogue tag.
So, can we pack up this blog post and go home now?
It also tends to be a missed opportunity (and yeah, I’ve messed these up, so I feel your pain).
Punctuation
Let’s start here. Get to know and love the humble comma (,). Because it is about to be nearly a 100% go-to for you, when it comes to writing dialogue tags.
However, I must give you one enormous caveat: British, Canadian, Australian, and other non-US English-speaking countries tend to treat punctuation differently from Americans. Neither one is specifically ‘right’ or ‘wrong’. All I can tell you is: pick one style, and stick with it.
Nearly always, these tags are married to at least one comma and often one period as well.
Let’s return to our thrilling example:
“I like cheese,” she said.
See that comma before the closing quotation mark? That sucker there is mandatory. Yeah, you’ve gotta use it, too.
But, but the speaker has made a complete statement. Shouldn’t there be a period there instead? Nope! The period, in this instance, comes after the tag. I’ll get to placement in a moment.
Just know that, nearly always, commas and dialogue tags are the literary equivalent of peanut butter and jelly.
Exceptions
There are not too many. One is body language attributions, which I will also get to later. But another is the incomplete or interrupted sentence. Such as:
“I like—” she said.
Now, can you use an ellipsis (…) instead of an emdash (—)? Eh, maybe. But I like the emdash, and I feel it looks cleaner. I’m not the only one. But be aware that a lot of people and AI tests will flag emdashes because AI programs love them so much.
And, apart from looking cleaner, it is very easy to become what is essentially an emdash addict. FYI, this is a longer dash than the one which MS Word gives you if you toss a hyphen between two spaces, or you smash two hyphens together (those are endashes).
You can make it by typing alt-0151. And if you ever need to make the shorter endash, that’s just alt-0150. Technically, the endash is used for a range of numbers or dates.
So, if you’re interrupting speech, either with an aside, or action, or other dialogue, you can use an emdash.
Examples
Here’s one (interrupted speech):
“I like—” she said.
Here’s another (interruption with other dialogue):
“I like—”
“You like everything.”
And here’s a third (speech interrupts the action):
She opened the fridge door— “I like cheese”—and all the dairy promptly fell out and onto the kitchen floor.
But again—for the cheap seats (see how easy it is to get addicted to emdashes? I need help)—almost always, you’ll use a comma.
Toss Your Dialogue Tags Up Front and Introduce the Speaker Immediately
There are three separate places where you can put dialogue tags. The beginning, middle, or the end. And no, I am not being facetious here. So, let’s start at the, well, the start.
She said, “I like cheese.”
There ya go. As with nearly any initial letter in a sentence, the s in she is capitalized. Then, after the verb comes the comma. And then, the quotation marks and your glorious sentence of speech.
Mary said, “I like cheese.”
Immediately, we know the speaker.
But try notto use this construction:
Said Mary, “I like cheese.”
That is, unless you’re trying to imitate more archaic forms of writing. To most of us, it sounds and looks wrong (even though, technically, it’s okay). Avoid this and you won’t trip up your readers.
Let’s move further into the sentence.
Middle Placement—and How it Can Help You Avoid Emdashes and Other Interruptions
Heh. But seriously, folks, the overuse of anything in fiction is not a good idea. So, how do you interrupt speech with dialogue tags? By shoveling them into the middle, of course!
“I like cheese,” she said, “and I also like lettuce.”
If the speech was all together, then it would look like this:
“I like cheese, and I also like lettuce.”
This speech is a compound sentence, which means it’s just two separate, complete thoughts, bound together by a comma, which is directly followed by a conjunction (for, and, nor, but, or, yet, soare the big ones. And yes, the acronym is FANBOYS).
You can use this method for two separate sentences, too.
“I like cheese,” she said. “I also like lettuce.”
Whoa! Wait a second. There’s a period there.
Well, of course there is. Because if the speech was kept together, it would look like this:
“I like cheese. I also like lettuce.”
No comma, no conjunction? Then in this instance, it’s just a pair of simple sentences. Hence the dialogue tag picks up the period.
Tossing dialogue tags in the middle is one way to create a level of drama, because the reader naturally pauses (this is also why so many of us love emdashes, but I digress).
Middle placement is also great when someone talks for a long time. Lots and lots of speaking in one shot can be harder to read. Hence, adding dialogue tags in the center gives the reader a break.
Caboose Dialogue Tags—Save ’em for the Bitter End
This is a very common usage. Now, our speech reads:
“I like cheese,” Mary said.
Or
“I like cheese,” said Mary.
Either is fine. You can mix those up until the cows come home.
There is one disadvantage to this. Unless the reader can immediately infer who’s speaking, they might start reading, thinking it’s John who’s talking. But then they get to the end and, oops, it’s really Mary declaring her love of dairy products.
I wouldn’t recommend putting dialogue tags at the end of very long speeches, either. It helps the reader out a lot more for the speech to either be interrupted by a tag or at least introduced by one.
No Dialogue Tags? No Problem!
Tired of using them? It’s okay. There are times when you can avoid them entirely.
If you’re good at differentiating your speakers, then at least some of your speech can go without dialogue tags.
“Mary, you’re being selfish, hogging all the cheese.”
“No, John, you will never come between me and my dairy addiction.”
“But sweetie, I was saving that cheese for our anniversary.”
Or whatever (this example has taken a turn, eh?).
But people don’t normally say each others’ names that often in realistic speech. Still, if you can make the speaker obvious, you can probably scotch a few dialogue tags. One way to do so is with what they say. Another is with how they say it.
Maybe John is from the sticks and has a thick accent.
“But sweetie, I was savin’ that thar cheese for our anniversary.”
But beware: overdoing accents and dropping letters and using dialect will not endear you to your readers.
Let’s have Mary tell us she’s speaking without using a tag or saying John’s name:
“No, you will never come between me and my dairy addiction. I’ve craved it throughout my pregnancy.”
Or
“… ever since I was in Girl Scouts.”
If you prefer.
I would also caution you: no matter how fabulously unique your characters’ speech patterns are, don’t lose all the dialogue tags. That way, readers won’t lose their place.
Body Language Attributions Instead of Dialogue Tags
“I like cheese.” Mary winked at the cheesemonger, and hitched up her skirt.
Or:
John threw the brie across the room. “How ya like your cheese now?”
Or:
“We’ve got a lovely camembert.” Dave the cheesemonger glanced around. “Are you sure your husband didn’t follow you into the shop?”
Showing Over Telling with BLAs (Body Language Attributions)
Using BLAs is directly related to showing versus telling. Mary’s flirtatious. We can tell this immediately from her wink and her flashing a little leg. John’s angry. We can tell this because he threw the cheese and then the follow-up line reads as angry sarcasm.
Dave’s nervous. His looking around isn’t enough to tell us that. But the second half of his dialogue makes his jitters a lot clearer to the reader.
BLAs add interest to a story, and they work as a supplement to standard dialogue tags.
Mary smiled, but there was lipstick on her teeth. “I got to the shop as fast as I could. Do you think John followed me?”
What does the lipstick on Mary’s teeth mean? Maybe she was in a rush, which she says in her speech. Or she could also be nervous, which the second line of speech tells us.
“Just how tall did you say your husband is?” Dave wiped the sweat from his brow.
Now Dave’s not just nervous. He’s scared, too.
John paced around the room. “Where did Mary go?” He punched the wall and gouged a hole in the cheap drywall.
John’s doing more than wondering. He is mad as hell. The brie might not be the only thing that goes flying. But without the BLAs, his question feels innocent and caring.
Now, let’s address something you may or may not have noticed—and don’t worry if you didn’t see it.
Say, Say, Say
For every one of these dialogue tags, I used a form of the verb to say. But, but—I hear you cry—that’s so boring!
Fret not.
Boring is kinda the point.
Wait, what?
Repeat after me:
The dialogue tags are not as important as the dialogue.
Seriously.
Using to say (and its forms) is economical and unobtrusive. Here’s what happens when you don’t:
“I like cheese,” Mary breathed.
John hissed, “How ya like your cheese now?”
“We’ve got a lovely camembert,” Dave stated. “Are you sure your husband didn’t follow you into the shop?”
“Maybe,” Mary screeched.
Dave babbled, “I’m a dead man.”
“Yer darn tootin’,” announced John.
It’s too much, isn’t it? And if it doesn’t feel like too much, then feel free to grab my stellar—heh—prose and add several more lines of dialogue. And use a thesaurus to lard it up with a bunch of words that call far too much attention to themselves.
I know, I know, you love your SAT words. I’m a fan of them, too. But they’re a lot like habanero peppers. A few touches here and there are lovely. Too many, and you end up in the Emergency Room.
A little is enough.
Exceptions to Say
It wouldn’t be a rule if it didn’t have exceptions. To say will work about 85% of the time. What about the other 15%?
A good 10% of the overall should be forms of the verb to ask. Not inquire. Ask.
That last 5%? 4.5% should go to terms like whisper and shout (and many of shout’s synonyms, like yell, holler, and scream). These are useful because they do more than act as dialogue tags. They are also a form of body language attribution.
And that final .5%? Knock yourself out with your SAT words, if you like. You’ll probably find you don’t miss them much, or that they have a lot more power when they have a lot less volume.
“Where were you last night?” John demanded.
“N-nowhere,” Mary sobbed.
“She’s in love with me and my cheese,” Dave revealed.
Sprinkle, don’t shovel.
Dialogue Tags: Takeaways
Use a form of to say almost all the time, and use a form of to ask for any questioning. Anchor with a comma at the start or end, and with two commas (one on either side) if you’re putting dialogue tags in the middle of sentences or paragraphs.
Break it up by varying where you put the tags, and even drop them altogether if the speaker’s identity is clear. Spice up your prose with body language attributions. Use alternative speech verbs sparingly.
Which Dialogue Tags to Use
How often?
To say and its forms
85.00%
To ask and its forms
15.00%
Whisper and shout (and its synonyms) and their forms
4.50%
Other verbs
0.50%
TOTAL
100.00%
And now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to make a grilled cheese sandwich.
When I first started to write Untrustworthy, the idea what that Tathrelle was going to be the main character. But I fell in love with Ixalla. Now, Tathrelle is still the protagonist. But her wife became something more while I was writing her.
Where Did Ixalla Come From?
The circumstances under which I wrote Untrustworthy are maybe a little odd. The main idea for the book came to me in a dream, as some of my book ideas have. But initially, the only ‘face’ I saw was Tathrelle’s.
In fact, there originally wasn’t a lesbian relationship. But as I got to know the characters and the plot (and keep in mind, I was writing this during 2013 NaNoWriMo, so everything happened a lot faster than it usually would), Ixalla started to take on more importance.
The Past is Prologue — Backstory for Ixalla
The truth is, there isn’t much of one. Unlike Tathrelle, Ixalla just kind of appears fully formed, as if she was the armored Athena springing from the head of Zeus.
When the story starts, all we really know about her, apart from her being pregnant, is that she’s a schoolteacher. She teaches the Tenth Form which is meant to be the high school level.
Description
Without giving away too much of the plot of Untrustworthy, Ixalla’s appearance does change within the context of the story. When we first see her, she has blonde hair and blue eyes. But later, she has brown hair, and reddish eyes.
Oh, did I mention that she’s an alien?
Yep, Ixalla is a Cabossian. There are no humans in that book. None!
So, there’s really no actress who I can point to and say, “That’s Ixalla.”
As for how she sounds, the aliens in this book have very stilted speech—and that’s the idea. They’re aliens. They shouldn’t be talking, acting, or looking like us.
Quotes
“Student Number Five!” Ixalla exclaimed, “I will remind you of the rules. You are referred to by a youthful number and not by name, and there is a very good reason for this. It is because students have varying degrees of wealth and status. By using your youthful number designations – and those are your classroom designations, and not your actual numbers, which will come when you are of age – we can educate everyone, regardless of whether their parents are in the government or drive a transportation sleigh. As a result, you cannot speak about what either of your parents does, or even if both of your parents are male, or they are both female, or if they are mixed. I trust I make myself clear? Or would you prefer having the Lead Educator explain it to you again?”
Relationships
Ixalla’s main relationship is with Tathrelle. But as the book goes on, Tathrelle is essentially taken away from her. When Ixalla leaves, an authority officer flirts with her. But it’s nothing serious.
And even later, she essentially adopts two lost children. One is just called Student Number Seventeen, whereas the other has even less of a designation. I just called her the Unknown Girl.
Conflict and Turning Point
Even though she’s technically not the main character, Ixalla essentially picks up the main thread of the narrative. She acts as the main character whenever Tathrelle is off-screen. Hence the conflict for her is virtually the same as Tathrelle’s—something is changing their world, and those changes are not for the better.
For Ixalla, the turning point comes when she arrives at the school drunk and yells at the Tenth Form. She starts off as an outsider and spectator and the kind of person who doesn’t get involved.
And then she becomes a revolutionary.
Continuity/Easter Eggs
This work has the least amount of continuity with my other works, as it kind of can’t. The characters are far too different and the scenario is way too dissimilar. Hence there’s little to no continuity with her, or cross-referencing.
One of the closest characters to her in another universe is possibly Elise Jeffries in Mettle. Elise is just as intelligent and is also a not-so-main character who gets a lot of airtime anyway. But that’s about where any similarities end.
Future Plans
Again, without getting into spoiler territory too much, I can’t have future plans for this character because the book is, at heart, a tragedy.
But I love her spirit, how she goes from being domestic and intellectual to a street smart, resourceful, scrounging survivor.
Ixalla and Future Inspiration
For this character, I think the main form of inspiration I can get from her is the idea that a character can even surprise the writer. You may have certain plans, but it’s the character’s voice and the character’s desires that will win out in the end.
Ixalla showed me that she was more than just a place to bounce Tathrelle’s thoughts off. And once she had showed me that, she became three-dimensional.
Ixalla: Takeaways
For this character, perhaps my favorite bit about her is that she was never intended to be this big and this vital. But after a few days of writing her and Untrustworthy, the genie was out of the bottle, and she became more.
Ixalla—for when you need a revolutionary in your prose.
Want More of Ixalla and the Rest of Untrustworthy?
If Untrustworthy resonates with you, then check out my other articles about how an alien society devolves into fascism.
How was fourth quarter 2021 for writing? So, I spent fourth quarter 2021 working on Time Addicts 3: Everything is Up for Grabs for NaNoWriMo! This was the third novel in the Time Addicts trilogy.
Fourth Quarter 2021 Posted Works
First of all, I worked on pretty much just NaNoWriMo. While I did some short story work, most of my time was devoted to wrapping up Time Addicts.
Then on Wattpad I posted on the WattNaNo profile and the Star Trek Fans profile, and nowhere else.
Milestones
Also, I have written over two and a half million words (fan fiction and wholly original fiction combined). So right now my stats on Wattpad for wholly original works are as follows:
• Dinosaurs – 37 reads, 9 comments
† How to NaNoWriMo – 23,475 reads, 320 comments
• My Favorite Things (like kibble) – 974 reads, 133 comments
† Revved Up – 59,350 reads, 530 comments
• Side By Side – 17 reads, 1 comments
† Social Media Guide for Wattpad – 14, 720 reads, 591 comments
• The Canadian Caper – 493 reads, 37 comments
† The Dish – 250 reads, 24 comments
• There is a Road – 189 reads, 28 comments
† WattNaNo’s Top Picks 2018 – 1,870 reads, 45 comments
• WattNaNo’s Top Picks 2019 – 1,630 reads, 10 comments
† What Now? – 2,500 reads, 104 comments
More Published Works
Also, I am amassing quite the collection of published works!
Untrustworthy, which is my first published novel. So yay!
A True Believer in Skepticism, to be published in Mythic Magazine. Almost Shipwrecked, a story in the January 2019 edition of Empyreome (link no longer works, alas!). Canaries, a short story in the March 29, 2019, edition of Theme of Absence.
Complications, a story in the Queer Sci Fi Discovery anthology. Also, this is an anthology where the proceeds went to supporting the QSF website.
The Obolonk Murders Trilogy – so this one is all about a tripartite society. But who’s killing the aliens?
The Enigman Cave – can we find life on another planet and not screw it up? You know, like we do everything else?
The Real Hub of the Universe Trilogy – so the aliens who live among us in the 1870s and 1880s are at war. But why is that?
Mettle – so it’s all about how society goes to hell in a hand basket when the metals of the periodic table start to disappear. But then what?
Time Addicts – No One is Safe – so this one is all about what happens in the future when time travel becomes possible via narcotic.
Time Addicts – Nothing is Permanent – this is the second in this trilogy. What happens when time is tampered with and manipulated in all sorts of ways? It’s the ultimate in gaslighting, for one thing.
Time Addicts – Everything is Up For Grabs – this is the third in this trilogy. When timelines are continually shifting and changing, it gets harder and harder to determine what’s supposed to be real. And what’s not.
Prep Work
So currently, my intention, for next year’s NaNoWriMo, is that I am going to start writing the third trilogy of three in the Time Addicts/Obolonks universe. But I will need to iron out the plot! And as I look at what I’ve got written and its loose ends, I will try to formulate … something. We’ll see.
Fourth Quarter 2021 Queries and Submissions
So here’s how that’s been going during fourth quarter 2021.
In Progress
As of fourth quarter 2021, the following are still (allegedly) in the running for publishing:
This list is the name of the story and then the name of the potential publisher.
I Used to Be Happy – Gemini Magazine
Justice – Adbusters
Mettle – RAB
Soul Rentals ‘R’ Us – A Thousand One Stories
Who Do We Blame for This? – Sonder Review
All Other Statuses
So, be sure to see the Stats section for some details on any query statuses for fourth quarter 2021 which were not in progress.
Stats
So, in 2018, my querying stats were:
68 submissions of 19 stories
• Acceptances: 4, 5.88%
† In Progress-Under Consideration: 3, 4.41% (so, these don’t seem to have panned out)
• In Progress: 10, 14.71%
† Rejected-Personal: 14, 20.59%
• Rejected-Form: 24, 35.29%
† Ghosted: 13 (so, these were submissions where I never found out what happened), 19.12%
So, in 2019 my querying stats were:
23 submissions of 11 stories (so, 6 submissions carry over from 2018)
• Acceptances: 4, 17.39%
† In Progress: 11 (so, this includes 2 holdovers from 2018), 47.83%
• Rejected-Personal: 4, 17.39%
† Rejected-Form: 3, 13.04%
• Ghosted: 1 (so, these are submissions where I never found out what happened), 4.35%
2020 Stats
So, in 2020 my querying stats were:
37 submissions of 12 stories (so, 9 submissions carry over from 2019)
† Acceptances: 3, 8.11%
• In Progress: 7, 18.92%
† Rejected-Personal: 12, 32.43%
• Rejected-Form: 4, 10.81%
† Ghosted: 11 (so, these are submissions where I never found out what happened), 29.73%
2021 Stats
So in 2021 my querying stats are: 5 submissions of 5 stories (so, all of these submissions carry over from 2020); 100% Ghosted
Sigh. Yeah, it’s like that. But I’ll be the first person to admit that I need to be more proactive. A lotmore proactive.
It can be pretty discouraging and hard to go on when nothing new comes up which is positive.
This Quarter’s Productivity Killers
So it’s work, what else? I am busier than ever, and I don’t see an end in sight. Because there is no way that fourth quarter 2021 will be the end of that!
She has a good mix of snark and smarts, and feels like she could play a character who swears pretty much nonstop, but is also, most of the time, the smartest person in the room.
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