I review my own work all the time. But why? Isn’t editing enough? Welll, not quite.
Why Review, Ever?
Beyond standard editing, I think it is important to kind of see the forest amidst that big ole bunch o’ trees.
Editing, I feel, is more for the weeds and the trees. It is, in essence, the nitty gritty guts of a piece.
It’s selecting the word luggage instead of the word baggage, for example. I had to do this for The Real Heart of the Universe.
But reviewing, I feel, is a whole other ball of wax.
Here, I feel, there is a space to get a faraway, bird’s eye view of the piece.
Did the characters work? Did the plot move along well? And did the conclusion satisfy?
I feel that reviewing is also where I start to see the similarities in my works, even when a shared universe is not my intention.
A review is a good place to spot and to highlight Easter eggs in my work, as well.
When is the Best Time for Reviewing?
I would say the piece has to be more or less complete. But it does not have to have a bow on it or be published, etc. And I do not necessarily think that it even has to have gone to beta readers.
Do not hesitate! If you want to check your work in this particular fashion, then you have my blessing, for what it’s worth.
You do you.
What Does Reviewing Accomplish?
Probably the best part of this kind of an exercise is that it can be a great place to spot plot holes. And plot holes are essentially opportunities.
Consider your standard fan fiction writer, if you will.
The show or film or book has a fade to black for a love scene. But the fan ficcer wants to make it clearer as to exactly what happened. That fade to black is an ideal opportunity.
Now, of course it does not have to be about a love or a sex scene. But look for the gaps. You might just find a sequel or a prequel in them—and you would never know that unless you reviewed your work!
And the Band Played the Apocalypse harkens back to my childhood. Now, of course I didn’t live through an apocalypse. And I hope I never do! Rather, whenever my family would visit my grandmother in Brooklyn, I would have very little to do.
I’d get really, really bored. I would be so bored that I would search for something, anything to read. There were two books there which I read and reread, over and over again. One was The Wizard of Oz.
The other was a set of Greek and Roman myths. These had been adjusted for what we would now call middle grade readers. It might even be this book.
The latter book had a story called Baucis and Philemon. In that story, an old married couple who provide hospitality to disguised gods are rewarded with being saved from a flood. Their wish is to die at the same time. The gods grant their wish.
They die by being transformed into trees. It was this bit of the story that I decided to emulate as the end of this story (oops, big spoiler alert!).
I wrote this story during second quarter 2021.
Background
This story came from a one-word prompt, when I was writing every day and creating random prompts in alphabetical order. This prompt was the word Jazz.
So, what better place to convey the prompt word than New Orleans? And then the plot took a few weird turns.
Plot
As the last of the human race dies out due to the effects of a virus meant to only kill rodents, the anti-Adam and Eve meet for one last song. One last riff.
Characters
The characters are the Saxophone Woman (not-Sally) and the Tambourine Guy (not-Lloyd). Plus the countless dogs and cats still alive, haunting the streets of New Orleans.
Memorable Quotes
“Pretty soon, there won’t be any more language. Except for dolphins, I guess. We should’ve been cetaceans. No opposable thumbs, no civilization. But at least no self-inflicted genocide.”
The stranger touches the instrument’s keys. “Then again, no saxophones, either. Whatever will some future alien explorers think of us? What fossils will we leave? Will it be the grillwork fences here on Bourbon Street, rusted to a fare-thee-well? Bones for my chorus’s dinner? The marble mausoleums? Stone and bone, I bet. Crumbling, rusty dust where there were once cars, and buildings. And, hell, clipboards and knitting needles. All the ephemera of our existence. Gone, like swallows at the end of summer.” A few coughs.
“Yes, yes, I am well aware that I’m being dramatic. But I don’t think overly so. After all, the end is nigh. If I can’t get bombastic now, then when can I?”
A jangle.
“What was that?”
The stranger glances around and spots a dog that still has its collar and tags. The stranger kneels, knees cracking. “C’mere! Come on! Good doggie. Good doggie.”
The dog trots over, its matted reddish-brown fur daubed with mud. “Just a sec.” The stranger unbuckles the collar and reads from the tags. “Rusty. You’re a good dog, Rusty ole pal.”
Another jangle.
The stranger freezes. In a moment, trembling, she straightens up. “More collars, I bet. Well, I suppose there are worse ways to spend your last hours. I can spend mine freeing Fido and Spot from the oppressive yoke of ownership. Humanity in our final moments goes commie. Who’d’ve thunk it?”
More jangling. But this time, in a semblance of rhythm.
Trembling, the stranger calls out, “Who’s there?” And then, thinking better of it, the stranger blows a few notes on the sax. An old song by Bob Dylan. “… there ain’t no place I’m going to.”
A pause.
“Ain’t that the truth?”
Rating for And the Band Played the Apocalypse
The story has a K rating. While the prospect of the end of the world is always going to be unsettling, the characters do their best to make do in a bad situation. Nothing violent happens ‘on screen’.
Takeaways for And the Band Played the Apocalypse
I think my biggest takeaway is that inspiration can strike in all sorts of wacky and unexpected ways.
As writers, everyone tells us to read—constantly—and this story is proof of that concept. Essentially, you can get ideas this way. And in the case of this particular story, my memory of the myth I had read during my childhood came in handy a good four decades later.
Want More of my Short Stories and Novellas?
If this story resonates with you, then check out my other articles about my shorter works.
Short Stories
Finally, for a complete list of my shorter works, please be sure to check out the Hub Page—Short Stories.
Due to the rise in antisemitic incidents since October 7, 2023, I decided to write … And the Walls Came Tumbling Down Again in order to, essentially, create a story with Jewish heroes and heroines.
Review – … And the Walls Came Tumbling Down Again
For this story, I dug back. Way back.
My idea was to treat the Hebrew Tanakh (the 5 books of Moses plus the rest of the Torah) as historical fact—and for those facts to be jeopardized by careless time traveling by bad actors.
I wrote this story during first quarter 2024.
Background
After the awful attack on October 7, 2023, I wanted to write a story where Jewish people in particular would be heroic.
Their power and heroism would not come from oppression. Rather, they would come from cooperation. And from smart, fast, out of the box thinking.
This meant digging back to a person in any of our ancient books who was at all like an action hero—Joshua.
Plot
It’s the December holidays, 3863. When a new guy comes to work at the temporal experience, change, travel control agency (TECTA), the Jewish employees take him under their wing. But while they’re meeting to shmooze and get to know him, time changes.
Suddenly, place names are changed. So are people’s names. The menorah (chanukiah), Kwanzaa candleabrum, and Christmas tree in the main reception area are gone. In their place, there’s a barbecue pit for animal sacrifices. And there’s a golden calf.
Can Rachel Shapiro and her team find the problem and fix it, even as their boss calls her Athena Arno and threatens the death penalty for daring to say that slavery is wrong?
Characters
The characters are Rachel Shapiro, Max Freedman, Chief Engineer Kevin O’Connor, Quartermaster Penelope Schulman, Cheri Nicolaev (an analyst), Dave Miller (in PR), Steve Bernstein (a historian), Diana St. John, their boss Victoria Chilton, and Mohammed Hamdi.
Rachel also refers to two other travelers on her team, Phil and Sharon. Sharon is Sharon Ensley, thereby neatly giving her more of a backstory.
Nicolaev is a direct link to the character Olga Nicolaev in Mettle
There are also characters on the planetary Senate committee, Chair Margaret Johnson, Michael Peterson, Jerome Simon, David St. James, and Elizabeth Angelini. Angelini is a direct link to a minor character in The Real Hub of the Universe.
But that reference is fleeting and I do not make it at all obvious.
Memorable Quotes
It was December 19, 3863. Offices were decked in all manner of holiday fluff. There was an enormous Christmas tree in the front reception area, plus a menorah, and a Kwanzaa candelabra. Along with my usual mezuzah on my office door, there was an electric chanukiah on my credenza. I was in the middle of dictating a report on a recent trip to 1976 Romania and had my door shut. There was a knock. “Computer, pause. Come in.”
The guy who had knocked was maybe in his twenties, a little nebbishy-looking and short, with the start of a beard. “Hi,” he said. “I hope I’m not intruding.”
“Not at all. Late-stage communism isn’t the most exciting thing to report on. What brings you here, stranger?”
“Oh, yes, I’m Max Freedman. I couldn’t help but notice your mezuzah, Ms…..” his voice trailed off as he checked the name plate mounted on the wall, just outside my office door, “… Shapiro. I’m hoping you celebrate Chanukah.”
“I sure do. I had sufganiyot sent over from a deli on Pluto, but I bet the break room already looks like a tornado went through it. Please call me Rachel. Come in and have a seat, Max.” As he sat down, I asked, “Which department are you in? I know you’re not a traveler, as I do the hiring for my team.”
“Mechanics, actually.”
“Temporal or tinkering with the hardware?”
“A bit of both.” He scratched the back of his neck for a second. “Rachel, I am so glad I saw your door. I was starting to think I was the only Jew working on TECTA.”
Rating for …And the Walls Came Tumbling Down Again
The story has a K+ rating. There’s a very small amount of swearing and a woman is murdered. But her killing takes place offscreen.
Takeaways for … And the Walls Came Tumbling Down Again
Unlike a lot of my other short stories from 2024, I like the ending. It conveys a sense of menace and opens up the storyline for sequels. This, easily, could become a series for Rachel Shapiro, but also for Sharon Ensley.
Want More of my Short Stories and Novellas?
If this story resonates with you, then check out my other articles about my shorter works.
Short Stories
Finally, for a complete list of my shorter works, please be sure to check out the Hub Page—Short Stories.
I wrote 1960s Temporal Crimes by the seat of my pants. But I don’t think it shows its seams too badly.
Review – 1960s Temporal Crimes
Welcome back to my universes, time traveling bounty hunter (at times) Sharon Ensley.
I wrote this story during first quarter 2023. It’s kind of long. So, I’m not so sure it qualifies as a short story. Maybe it’s a novella? I don’t know. I just work here. 😉
Background
It was maybe half a year after I had been working closely with a critique group. It went all right, but they were on the west coast. When time switched to daylight savings, I could not make the meetings any longer.
One of the stories was about a Jewish gangster. This may very well have been on my mind when I dreamt up small time Jersey thug Ray Hall.
Plot
On her first solo trip in time, Sharon Ensley’s tech cracks. Unable to get home, she enlists the help of small time mobster Ray Hall. Sharon has to capture criminal Marcus Vandermore and bring him back to their time. And the only way she’ll be able to do that is to take Marcus’s tech.
But the trip to 1961 New Jersey isn’t all it seems, because Ray isn’t what he seems. For Sharon to do the right thing, but also do her job, it’ll take some fancy footwork. Is the rookie time traveler up to it?
Characters
The characters are Sharon Ensley, Ray Hall, Peggy O’Shaughnessy and her father Declan, Marcus Vandermore (in the past, he calls himself Victor), mob boss Les Hargreaves, and mob lieutenant Ralph Appleton.
I really enjoyed giving the hoods such all-American/nonethnic names.
Ray also refers to nurse’s aides named Rosalie (with her son, Jean-Paul) Baptiste, Juanita Rodriguez, May St. John, Micheline St. John, and Deborah Toussaint.
The story is from Sharon’s point of view.
Memorable Quotes {Ray and Sharon are Speaking}
“Oh, no, you don’t. Don’t be changing the subject on me. How can I help you? Tell me, flat out, the whole truth.”
Peggy arrived with the fries. “The complete, flat out, whole truth is these were reheated.” She winked at Sharon. “But you never heard me say that.”
“Of course not.” Sharon took a still-hot fry and tasted it. Good Lord, real potatoes are amazing. I don’t even care that they were reheated. These people have no idea what they’ve got.
Once Peggy was gone again, Ray leaned over, closer to Sharon. In a low voice, he asked again, “What’s the whole truth? You know, so help you God and everything.”
Sharon sighed. If this wasn’t my first time soloing, I’d probably have a good answer for that. So, I guess my only choice is to tell the truth. “The guy I’m looking for, Vandermore, can be dangerous. I figure you can put your hand on weapons if you ever have to.”
“And?”
“And part of my taking him back is taking possession of his tech.”
“Er, why? Don’t you have some sort of a machine or whatever of your own? Otherwise, how could you have gotten here in the first place?”
“I do. But it’s not working quite right.”
“Ah, and there it is.” He stole one of her fries. “You’re afraid you’re stuck here.”
“Well, yeah. And you’ve got fries of your own.”
“I prefer a little petty larceny. But in all seriousness, there are other people you could have turned to. So, I repeat, why me?”
“When I scanned you, I found traces of Vandermore’s DNA. Ray, you met him.”
Rating for 1960s Temporal Crimes
The story has a K+ rating. There is no real violence, although there are hints of it. Also, there is some swearing, but not too much.
Takeaways for 1960s Temporal Crimes
Like a lot of my stories, I am not too thrilled with how it ends. So, I will most likely start to think of an alternative one of these days.
It was fun bringing Sharon back. This story works as a prequel to A Chance Encounter in Time. But since both stories involve her being stuck due to her tech failing, I should probably rethink the pretext as well.
Short Stories and Novellas
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If this story resonates with you, then check out my other articles about my shorter works.0
Short Stories
For a complete list of my shorter works, please be sure to check out the Hub Page—Short Stories.
I like Mandy Goes to Aspen because the character is so matter of fact about everything. Even the fact that she’s been hurt pretty badly. But then again, it’s nothing compared to what happened to other people.
This story was written during first quarter 2021. The initial prompt was a single word: avalanche.
It is the first of the short stories I wrote that year. My intention was to write every single day, and I followed through pretty well.
Background
These prompts were more or less random, and I had no plot or plan for this story. But I think it turned out pretty well. Still, the truth is, it did not start to truly come together until I changed Avalanche to A. Valanche.
And one of my favorite parts of this little story is the opening line:
Well, that sucked.
Plot
Somewhat ditzy and average-level talented Mandy Johnson goes to Aspen in order to schmooze with agents, acting coaches, directors, and other actors.
But things take a turn when Mandy is trapped in snow after an avalanche during skiing buries her.
With sardonic humor and a lot of very necessary ingenuity, this aspiring ingenue survives the big one.
Characters
The characters are Mandy (er, Amanda Catherine Johnson, to get technical) and Carol. I never give Carol a last name. There’s also Mandy’s agent, Arlene. But Mandy only mentions Arlene and we never see or hear her ‘on screen’, as it were.
There are also people in the lodge but again, Mandy only refers to them but the reader never sees them. Most of the story is more like a soliloquy.
Memorable Quotes
You know, those huge, slobbery dogs that I am totally afraid of? Those great big lumbering beasts. I hope they have tequila. Or is it brandy? Scotch? Can you tell them your preference?
I’d like a not too slobbery Saint Bernard. And put margaritas in that little keg thing they wear around their necks.
If I absolutely must sacrifice, then I suppose I will live without salt. So uncivilized.
Who am I kidding? I would kiss the first rescue dog I saw.
But not French; it’s not in my contract.
Rating for Mandy Goes to Aspen
The story has a K+ rating. After all, falling down the side of a mountain would make anyone swear.
Takeaways for Mandy Goes to Aspen
I like Mandy. She’s not only a survivor. She’s also self-aware enough to realize that she’s not going to win any prizes. Mandy would be lucky to get a part as Go-Go Dancer #3 in some screamfest. Most importantly, she can figure out how to solve a lot of her own problems.
I have no plans for a sequel or anything else. But I should probably clean this story up and submit it somewhere.
Consider Frances Miller Ashford, One of My Original Characters
Who is Frances Miller Ashford?
When Ceilidh is hired to work for the Edwards, the first thing readers should notice is: it’s a really big house. There are obviously going to be other people working there. Lots and lots of them! If you have ever watched Downton Abbey or Upstairs, Downstairs, then you know exactly what I mean.
But at the same time, I knew that not everyone would know the nuances of Victorian era living. Plus, I needed to have a good way to get across the look and feel of the Edwards House. There would have to be a character who would, at least in part, behave as a kind of expository mouthpiece.
Enter Frances.
Margaret Qualley, who I see as Frances Miller. Image is intended for reference purposes only.
Where Did Frances Miller Ashford Come From?
I wanted very much to have an immigrant much like Ceilidh but better settled in the story. Also, I needed for Ceilidh to have someone she could talk to. Frances fills the bill rather nicely in both areas. Further, I needed Ceilidh to have someone who had an English accent she could emulate. It didn’t seem realistic to have Ceilidh remember Captain Underwood perfectly for years. But Frances was a lot more plausible.
Originally, her last name was Marshall, but then I had too many scenes with a character named Barry Marsh. The names were starting to get confusing. And I could not change Marsh’s name, as he was named after someone I know.
Hence, Frances got a slight tweak. I also like the newer name better, because it flows much better with her (spoiler alert!) married name.
The Past is Prologue — Backstory for Frances Miller Ashford
An orphan who never knew her family, I never actually wrote her extremely early life. But Frances could have been the child of people who died—perhaps of any of the many diseases flying around Britain at the time.
Or she could have been the child of an unwed mother, left at a church or even the orphanage where she grew up. Her mother could have even been a prostitute. I don’t see her as a female Oliver Twist, the child who’s in the orphanage but should have been raised by their own wealthy family.
No. Frances was to be a real foundling, with a hard beginning. For an almost traditional look at someone who raised themselves up from their bootstraps, she is the one to look to.
Was Frances Originally Jewish?
The more I read about the Manchester Jewish Board of Guardians, the more I wonder if I could make her a Jewish child. Conversion of orphans in orphanages appears to have been pretty common at the time. The Board of Guardians is developed in 1859, though, and I put her birth at 1858. But this can work for the story line.
So, prior to the creation of an appropriate orphanage to place a Jewish child in, the possibility is high that such a foundling would be put in a non-Jewish orphanage. For a very young baby, which Frances would be, there really wouldn’t be anyone to object to someone just quietly baptizing her.
Coming to America
In keeping with what really happened to some people, I wanted Frances to have kind of gotten to Boston in a roundabout way. Ceilidh means to go to Boston. But Frances? Not necessarily.
As she got older, the orphanage was clearly going to toss someone like her out on her ear. The orphanage wouldn’t necessarily care if she ended up working, married, turning tricks, or dead. They would simply want her bed for some other, younger child.
And so I decided there would be someone who would come and promise the older girls husbands if they left the country. This would be an irresistible offer for not only someone like Frances, but also for girls like her and the orphanage itself.
But when they arrive in the United States, there are no waiting husbands. The promise was a false one. And so, rather, Frances and her cohorts become Lowell Girls, working for a mill.
After she bides her time, eventually, she gets a day off and ventures into the big city of Boston. Frances has main advantages: a pleasant voice and demeanor, a high class-sounding accent to someone like Mrs. Edwards, and a willingness to work hard. As a result, Frances gets a job in the scullery. She doesn’t keep in touch with the other girls, and has no idea what happened to them.
Her rise is slow, deliberate, and patient. I want it to feel believable. Frances knows the world does not owe her a living.
Frances Miller Ashford, a Description
So, Frances has dark eyes and dark brown curls. I always hear her as having a somewhat breathy voice. Her British accent is via Manchester. It is the kind of accent Americans generally think of when we think of British accents. She is not cockney and is not some latter-day Eliza Doolittle.
I recently decided on actress Margaret Qualley to be the face of Frances Miller. It was a bonus that Qualley was in a show called Maid!
The idea behind Frances is that she almost blends into the background in the beginning. But, of course, she ends up being a lot bigger and more important than that. Ceilidh is a big part of Frances coming into her own as, of course, Gregory Ashford is, too.
Quotes
Coming from Ballyvaughan, Ceilidh has never used indoor plumbing before. In this scene, Frances explains what to do:
Frances lifted the lid, and showed Ceilidh there was a lacquered wooden seat. “Now here’s all you do, see. You lift the lid like so and let it rest against the back here, see? And then you gather your skirts or your nightgown up and sit down, facing the back.”
“Right, yes, I see.”
“And you do your business, of course. Then you take a sheet of these papers and use it cleanse yourself.”
“What do you do with the paper afterwards?”
“You place it into the bowl, where you just did your business.”
“And then what do you do?”
“You see the lever, and the little frog pull?”
“Yes, ‘tis rather amusing.”
“You pull once and hold it for as long as it takes in your head, to say,” Frances giggled a little, “God Save the Queen.”
“Truly?”
“Truly!”
Relationships
Frances has two main relationships.
Plumber’s Assistant Gregory Ashford
Her romantic one is with her husband, Gregory Ashford. They meet when the plumber is called in, to clear away a clog in the bathroom shared by all the women servants. Gregory is the assistant. While fixing the toilet, he and Ceilidh talk a little. He asks her, “Who is the vision?”
Ceilidh asks for clarification, and he says the vision has brown curls. Ceilidh makes sure to tell Gregory that Frances is Miss Frances Miller.
For Frances, Gregory is utterly unexpected. She and Ceilidh are what anyone of the time would have called old maids. While Frances has always wished and hoped for a family, she is a practical person at heart. Her dreams of love would not necessarily come true.
And so Gregory is a pleasant surprise. He is also kind and gentle and truly cares for her. Frances gets a middle class life, and that is perfect for her.
Ceilidh O’Malley
The only other relationship (really) for Frances is her close friendship with Ceilidh. When Ceilidh arrives, unsure of whether she’ll get work, Frances is the one to help Ceilidh along and assure she gets a job as a scullery maid. Frances wants a friend, someone she can talk to. No one else in the Edwards household can fill that need for her.
And so Frances kind of puts her thumb on the scale and rigs Ceilidh’s test to be hired. Without Frances and her help, Ceilidh would not have gotten such a good job. And certainly nowhere near as quickly.
The truest of friends, Ceilidh convinces Frances to give Gregory a chance, because plumbers will always have work, so she’ll never starve. Coming from grinding poverty, that’s an enormous plus, so far as Ceilidh is concerned.
The biggest bonus is when Gregory turns out not only to be all right, but to truly be an almost (this is the 1870s and 1880s we’re talking about) an equal partner.
Other Servants
Just like Ceilidh and other women of the time, Frances is a victim of what today we would refer to as sexual harassment. Donald Smith is nasty to everyone, and he leers at virtually every woman he sees. This comes to a stop when Gregory finally steps in and makes it clear that Frances is his girl. At least Donald backs off.
With the other servants, Frances is cordial but not overly friendly. There is nothing about the woman who Ceilidh ends up replacing. I never mention her by name, and neither does Frances. And so I feel we can conclude that the two women were not too terribly close.
Conflict and Turning Point
In the first book, The Real Hub of the Universe, the conflict and turning point for Frances are nearly the same as those for Ceilidh. Without getting too far into spoiler territory, the real issue is that both Ceilidh and Frances could have lost everything. When Judge Lowell helps out, Frances realizes she’s come from nothing, but has come to have powerful friends.
Her gratitude goes beyond measure.
By the time the series ends, she has achieved a great deal of the middle class dream. In particular, in comparison to someone like the wealthy Margery Cabot Edwards, Frances has true happiness.
Continuity/Easter Eggs
Gregory’s Brighton, Massachusetts house ties in with, of all things, Mettle. It’s just down the street from the house where Craig and Mei-Lin find the solar panels—about 140 years later.
Also, as an expository character, she aligns somewhat with Ixalla from Untrustworthy. But only a little. Ixalla, after all, is well-educated. Frances, while she can ostensibly read and write, has what is likely what we would call dyslexic today.
Also, her name ties her directly to Josie James’s sixth-eldest sibling, Frances Farrah James Walsh. But Francie is a professional ballerina, and has divorce in her past. She shares custody of her daughter, Gina, with her ex-husband, Clayton. Francie Walsh lives on Titania, a Uranian moon. Her ex has custody of Gina and they live on another Uranian moon, Umbriel.
And so Frances and Francie really just share a name, but nothing else.
Future Plans
I don’t really have future places for her, simply because the series is done. But never say never, for I did write a few short one-offs with her, Ceilidh, Gregory, and Devon. She may very well turn up again. Here’s hoping!
There are also enough hints that there could very well be a sequel series if I ever get a true plot together…
Frances as an old woman could be truly compelling. With her birth in 1858, she could conceivably live into the 1930s. Without it being too much of a stretch, that is. Her earlier, harder life could even give her an advantage during the Great Depression. But she would still be about 71 when it starts, and that’s pretty old for that era. For a person with a difficult early life, even a survivor like Frances Miller Ashford might not live past her sixties, if that.
Frances Miller Ashford: Takeaways
Every main character needs a sidekick, a kind of bounce off person. Frances is that type of character. This survivor, against all odds, is still sweet and charming. This makes her one of the more optimistic characters I have ever written.
Frances Miller Ashford — because so many main characters need a true best friend.
Want More of Frances Miller Ashford?
If Frances resonates with you, then check out my other articles about them, Ceilidh, Johnny, Devon, Frances, and everyone else as they work to prevent a temporally jacked-up genocide.
For my social media writing class at Quinnipiac, we were required to purchase Stephen King On Writing although it turned out to be an optional work. I think the work was decent.
A lot of people seem to fall over themselves with praise for King. Me? Eh, not so much. I would say, though, that this is the best thing I have read from him.
Nuts and Bolts
One area that I feel he handles well: the question of how meticulous attention to detail needs to be. On Pages 105 – 106, he writes,
“For one thing, it is described in terms of a rough comparison, which is useful only if you and I see the world and measure the things in it with similar eyes. It’s easy to become careless when making rough comparisons, but the alternative is a prissy attention to detail that takes all the fun out of writing. What am I going to say, ‘on the table is a cage three feet, six inches in length, two feet in width, and fourteen inches high’? That’s not prose, that’s an instruction manual.”
Agreed, 100%. I see far too many fiction writers getting into far too much detail, and it’s maddening. Readers are intelligent (generally), and can follow basic instructions. However, the writer needs to provide the framework and then let the reader run with it. Otherwise, it’s an instruction manual, as Stephen King states.
And the corollary is also true – for writing which requires meticulous instructions and step by step information, woe be unto the writer who decides everybody knows what a flange is, or a balloon whisk, or EBITDA. Or any other term of art known more to insiders than to the general public.
Stephen King also exhorts would-be writers to read a lot and write a lot. Basic information, to be sure, but it makes good sense. Without practice or comparisons or even attempts to copy, none of us would learn how to properly craft prose.
What the Hell Did Adverbs Ever Do to You, Steve?
Here’s where we part ways.
King writes, on Page 124, “The adverb is not your friend.” On Page 195, he clarifies his statement:
“Skills in description, dialogue, and character development all boil down to seeing or hearing clearly and then transcribing what you see or hear with equal clarity (and without using a lot of tiresome, unnecessary adverbs).”
It’s funny how he makes the above statement with the use of the adverb clearly.
Show us on the doll where adverbs hurt you.
I see his point. But I’m not so sure that a lot of aspiring authors do. The gist of it? Make sure to choose your words well. A part of this is what editing is for, but it’s also to be able to best get across your point(s). You can write –
She waited nervously.
Or
She waited, drumming her fingers on the table until her brother told her to cut it out or he’d relieve her of the burden of having fingers.
The second example is more vivid. It shows, rather than tells. But sometimes you just want to cut to the chase. There’s nothing wrong with that. Adverbs, like passive voice and other parts of speech and turns of phrase (even clichés!), are legitimate writer tools.
You can still use them.
In all, a decent work, albeit a bit redundant in parts. I didn’t want to read the memoir portions of the work although I can see where they would interest others.
Book Review: The Elements of Style, by Strunk, White, and Kalman
As a part of the Quinnipiac social media writing class, we had to purchase and reference The Elements of Style (illustrated) by William Strunk, E. B. White, and Maira Kalman.
Rather than just reference this work, I read it from cover to cover. And it turned out to be an easy read, considerably more comprehensive and better than I had remembered.
If you ever want to easily know what to do, and how to do it, when it comes to grammar and punctuation, read this book.
Simple Rules
Simple rules emerge in clear and concise prose which never talks down to the reader. It contains all of the rules that so many people should have known, and should have learned years ago. Yet these days it seems that so many people just plain don’t know.
Case in point: forming possessives. Therefore, on Page 1 the guide just says, “Form the possessive singular of nouns by adding ‘s.”
That’s it, no more.
It seems a pity to so much as comment on this.
Seriously, apostrophes aren’t for pluralization unless the sense would suffer (e. g. The Oakland A’s is obvious, but The Oakland As makes it appear as if you’re missing a word or two).
Punctuation
Information about punctuation remains equally succinct. Hence on Page 15, the guide says,
“A colon tells the reader that what follows is closely related to the preceding clause. The colon has more effect than the comma, less power to separate than the semicolon, and more formality than the dash.”
Easy to follow and remember, the above two sentences tell more about colons, semicolons, and dashes than I think I learned in most of my formal education.
Do YOU Know the Elements of Language?
Furthermore, language comes across as something knowable, with rules and formal logic. This is instead of what English can sometimes seem like, e. g. a messy stew of words from all over the world. The work gives the English language structure and predictability. Both of these things make it a lot easier to know the rules.
Rules, of course, can be broken. They were probably made to be broken. But at first you need to know what you’re throwing out. Keep the baby, not the bath water.
There is but one thing left to say, and the Elements of Style certainly says it.
Write better.
This classic, timeless work will help you to do just that.
So Complications is one of those stories where it takes me a moment to remember – oh, yeah, it’s that one. And that never bodes well for readers.
Background
So this was originally a het fan fiction story. But with a few changes, it could go in another direction. And both of the characters were wholly original. But in the published version, it’s two different characters anyway.
Essentially, the only thing I used was the scenario and some of the dialogue.
So it shows. This was, unfortunately, not exactly a big effort on my part. If I was to do it again, I would have worked harder on this. But when I needed to hand it in, I was pressed for time.
The Plot of Complications
The truth is, this story has very nearly no plot. Basically, it is a vignette with little plot, only sketches of characters, and no crisis or conflicts at all. Hell, it is barely even a scene.
Characters
The characters are the narrator, Suzanne, and her lesbian lover, Tellina. Tellina is not a human.
Memorable Quotes from Complications
“And you’ve never done this with a human before?”
“I’ve never done this with anyone before, Suzanne.” They kissed.
“And,” Suzanne asked, “When does it all, er, end?”
“I’m uncertain. I don’t know how much precedence there is for such things. What do you generally do after, uh, afterwards?”
“Get a snack, watch the viewer, go to sleep, hell, I’ve left on occasion.”
“Most of those are out of the question right now. Could you sleep, perhaps?”
Rating
The story has a K+ rating. While the action occurs “off screen”, there are certainly some allusions to it.
Upshot
So while it was great for Queer Sci Fi to publish it, Complications really did not deserve to be published anywhere. Because it is just not that good a story. I have written far, far better, both before and since. So be it. They can’t all be gems.
So Nothing Good Ever Happens at 3 AM was the kind of strange story which I often love to write but equally often can’t find an audience. Yet this one did.
So my main idea with Nothing Good Ever Happens at 3 AM was to create a First Contact story that would be totally and utterly off the wall. Because, so far as I am concerned, there is just no way in hell that aliens are ever going to behave like us. They won’t think like us. I mean, we don’t think like pigeons—and they’re actually from here. Aliens have gotto be different from us.
Whatever we think is logical, they might find wacky. Hence, wacky aliens.
Plot
Insomnia has our narrator in its nasty grip. So instead of trying to sleep, she gets up, in an effort to make the most of it. Until one day, she learns how – and why – she can’t sleep. And it’s got nothing to do with caffeine intake, exercise, or worry.
Characters
The characters are the unnamed narrator and the ‘people’ she meets. Some are human. Others? Not so much.
Memorable Quotes from Nothing Good Ever Happens at 3 AM
For the past year, I have woken up, without fail, at 2:58 AM and then not gotten back to sleep. It isn’t even that I’m so troubled or busy. I stopped using caffeine and all of that. I even – horrors – gave up chocolate. But it’s no use. I am destined to get up at that ungodly hour, even if I just got to bed not fifteen minutes previously.
Rating
The story has a K rating.
Nothing Good Ever Happens at 3 AM: Upshot
The notion of aliens doing something strange and, perhaps, the antithesis of what we would expect, was irresistible. Where we would see an enemy as wanting to decimate the numbers of its rivals, these aliens do the opposite.
The Boy in the Band came about because I wanted to write something special for an LGBTQ+ anthology.
So the first person I thought of, immediately, was Richard Holmstrom.
Background
So at the time I wrote the story, I had no idea what had happened to Rich. As it turned out, a mutual friend did some sleuthing. And so, I learned the truth. It was what I had been afraid of; he was dead.
Rich was the first gay man who ever came out to me. And I consider that to be one hell of an honor.
The Plot for The Boy in the Band
So the story is more or less accurate. Hence it wrote itself. And I was merely there to take mental dictation. And the title, of course, comes from the film.
In 1981 or 1982, my friend Rich asked me to the movies. And I had a crush on him and thought – this is great! He chose the films: Cabaret and The Boys in the Band. So I had no idea what I was in for. My innocent nineteen or twenty year old soul thought we were going to see a pair of musicals.
I swear to God this is true.
Characters
The characters are the narrator, Rich, and Paul. He was Rich’s boyfriend at the time. But unfortunately, I have no idea if they stayed together. Since I do not know Paul’s last name, I can’t even look him up.
Memorable Quotes
I gamely watched with Richard. Maybe he meant for it to be artsy? I had no idea, but then the Cowboy character showed up – a male prostitute. And so Richard asked, “What do you think of him?”
I replied, “He reminds me a bit of Rocky from The Rocky Horror Picture Show.”
“Which do you think is cuter?”
“Rocky.”
“So we will agree to disagree.”
And then I knew.
Rating
The story has a K rating.
Upshot for The Boy in the Band
So this one was highly emotional for me. And then when I learned, later, that I had been right, it all hit me rather hard. See, because of when we knew each other, it was the dawn of the age of AIDS. And I knew he was, let’s just say, a bit loose. Since no one really had any idea what was in store, and AIDS was a 100% painful death sentence at the time, being ‘loose’ was being foolish.
Yet it apparently did not kill him. At least, I can tell myself this. I think I’m right. I hope I’m right. But there is only so much the internet can tell me.
He did not even live long enough to see 9/11, President Obama, or even the Red Sox win the World Series (:)). So he is frozen in time, at age 39. And before I knew this much, he was frozen at age 21. Forever young.
The Boy in the Band — this one’s for you, Richard.
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