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Category: Opinion

I fully believe that once you are able to communicate, you will have an opinion on nearly anything. And, frankly, you probably had several opinions before then. It’s just, no one was able to understand them. Or you.

Sprinkling Opinion Sauce on Everything!

I think many of us do this, to some extent or another. We kind of feel the need to weigh in on some many different things.

But the truth is (and here’s a little secret, folks!), you do not have to.

Peace in the Middle East? It would be great, thanks.

Essential oils? Don’t bother me, thanks.

Best religion? Er, let’s all just plead the Fifth Amendment on that one, okay?

The Designated Hitter Rule? Now them’s fightin’ words.

Which Hill Do You Want to Die On?

Now, I am well aware that other people have been using this expression before or since. But me, I learned it in, I want to say, maybe 2014?

A member of Able2know was talking about a few issues with her husband. And people would tell her — some of those other things you are mentioning, maybe you should address those with him, along with the bigger stuff.

So, she just said something along the lines of, “That’s not a hill I want to die on.”

And I just plain love that, because it so perfectly encapsulates the idea of priority.

I think that can be transferred to the question of an opinion as well. Whether to reveal it or not, and whether to address someone else’s, or not.

I will die on hills like social justice, freedom of speech and religion, personal safety, and treating people with dignity and decency.

But pineapple on pizza? Oh, please. You do you.

Putting the Brakes on the AI Hype Train

It seems as if the only thing you ever hear about these days is artificial intelligence. And a lot of people and companies are riding the great AI Hype Train.

But is it overblown? What is it really about, anyway?

Buying Your Ticket to the AI Hype Train

Evidently, the term artificial intelligence predates even my birth. But why is it now so, so very hot?

In part, we can all point fingers at ChatGPT. In 2022, they developed newish technology and it took off, fast! Kind of like an express train, if you will.

By early 2023, kids were already using it to write papers.

As a result, parents and educators started to get nervous. Really, really nervous. But can you blame them?

How Did the AI Hype Train Pull Into the Station?

But let’s back up a bit. AI didn’t just spring out fully formed, like Athena vis a vis Zeus. In some ways, it can pay to have had an eclectic career. Because I can honestly explain a couple of its origination points.

Databases

I’m sure most adults have heard of databases. But how many know, exactly, what one is? Well, in a way, it’s a kind of interactive list. It’s a means of organizing (basing) information (data).

Okay, so that was clear as mud.

To best explain databases, I like to turn to a personal favorite explanation.

The Database is Coming From Inside Your House

Wait, what?

We all have a database. You, me, your weird neighbor who lives down the street, and the King of England all have at least one database. And I am more than willing to bet that it’s the same type of database.

I repeat: what?

It’s definitely on your phone, and it may also still be on paper.

I am talking about your address list.

Why is an Address List a Database?

Your address list contains a ton of nuggets of information. Here, I’ll explain.

Say, you have an Uncle Dave Smith, who lives in Idaho, but used to live in Pennsylvania. And he’s married to your Aunt Susie Smith, but she was married before, to a man named William Jones. During her first marriage, Susie was known as Susie Jones.

Susie and William had a child together, Lou Jones. But Susie and Dave had a child together, Carol. Lou is away at college, in Colorado. Carol is engaged to be married to Fred Roe.

Are you with me so far?

If you wanted to list everyone who currently lives in Idaho, you’d get Dave, Susie, Carol, and maybe Lou (after all, college is generally not your permanent mailing address) and possibly also Fred.

Who fits in a set of people who have ever been named Jones? That would be William and Lou. But it’s also Susie.

Now Multiply That Times a Hundred

Let’s say you’re Carol and Fred’s wedding planner. You need to send out the invitations. And let’s say you’re sending so many invitations that it pays to batch mail everything. Using the database, you come up with four people in Idaho.

With a large family and an invitation list as long as your arm, you end up with a lot of data to comb through. A database automatically helps you pull out whatever you want (assuming the data is in there).

The Wonderful World of Granularity

Databases have fields. A field is a specific bit of information. Above, we have first names and we have state addresses. But we also have some relationship info. And while we don’t have ages or dates of birth, we can infer that Susie, Dave, and William are all older than Lou and Carol (but not necessarily Fred). We can also infer that William is older than Carol.

Now add the usual trappings of an address book, such as full name, address, phone number with area code, and ZIP code. With this information, you have even more inferences you can draw.

For example, if two people don’t share a full address, but they share a ZIP code, you know that means they live close to each other. If the wedding is somewhere they could drive to, but it’s a far drive, you could add a note suggesting to those people that they travel together.

What Does This Have to do With the AI Hype Train?

The generative and predictive AI you’ve been hearing about is really just a fancy way of saying it’s a database.

Say what?

There’s a ton of information, and all your computer does is look it up. Just like you look up Aunt Susie’s address in a book or on your phone.

Except a computer does this millions of times faster.

Now it’s time to look at the other piece.

Language Models

A language model is a list of words. But unlike a database, it contains a bit more info. It’s essentially in terms of probabilities. This isn’t really like the chance of someone saying the word infant vs the word baby.

Rather, it’s the chance of someone saying the word the or the word pickle. Because while we don’t see those words as even close to being interchangeable, a computer doesn’t. That is, unless it is taught. But otherwise, it’s just items on a list to a computer.

But where and how does such a huge model come together?

The Derailing of the AI Hype Train

To build a large language model, you need content. Lots and lots of more or less properly written content. This content should cover a large swath of human thought and activity. It has to be very broad in scope.

So, the developers turned to a place where they knew there was a ton of content, more or less properly written, covering great, big chunks of the human experience.

The internet.

Except there’s just one problem.

The Fly in the Ointment

They didn’t get most people’s permission to use the content. Also, they never checked it for accuracy or tone. A computer can’t figure those things out (yet). But you and I can. For example, we can tell when someone’s joking about something.

The AI takes it seriously.

And what about all the personal data online? The GDPR law specifically says that individuals must give clear consent to the processing of their personal data. Did AI and its creators take the time to figure out which of the trillions of web pages have personal data?

The answer to that would clearly be: no.

Finally, there’s also the matter of copyright. There’s a ton of original material online. It may be snippets of professionally written fiction, like in a blurb. Or it could be places for posting fiction, like Wattpad.

Did the creators of the language model used in AI stop to ask the authors whether they could have permission to train the model on their prose or poetry?

What do you think?

The Caboose at the End of the AI Hype Train

So, it’s mainly just a fancier, easier to use version of the databases that have been around for decades. And its training process for the language model is more than a little suspect. It can’t read your mind. It’s not Skynet. Yet.

There are plenty of companies which are trying to replace content writers with generative AI. But this technology, in that area, really isn’t ready for primetime. Predictive AI, on the other hand, more or less is.

Predictive is the kind of AI being used to cull through thousands of records to compare the data from one medical test results to determine the likelihood of the patient getting cancer. This is the kind of speed which humans just can’t do.

So when you read another breathless article or blog post about artificial intelligence, check to see if the author is riding the AI hype train.

Because Casey Jones, you’d better watch your speed.

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Writing Freedom and You

What is writing freedom, and why is it important? It’s a piece of the writing puzzle that you simply cannot leave out.

Do You Have Writing Freedom?

The best definition I can give of this term is not only freedom of the press and freedom of speech, but also the freedom to write more or less what you want to. Of course, there are some exceptions even in an extremely free society.

But imagine living in a place where your choice of topics or genres or characters was dictated by the state. I couldn’t honestly find one (if you can, please comment!). But of course there have been plenty of times when tyrants controlled what the press could write about.

That’s more or less what state media is all about.

But let’s look at some other limits.

Libel

Of course, defaming someone in print is problematic. Sure, there’s no one staying your hand, or anything. But you really, really do not want to go down that road.

You would be on the business end of what could easily turn into a rather expensive lawsuit. That is not a place where anyone should ever want to be.

So, Dante notwithstanding, writing less than flattering things about your enemies is not a good idea.

A better idea? Change names and circumstances until the originals are no longer recognizable. If Zach from San Francisco becomes Amy from Buffalo, that’ll help.

Cultural Appropriation/Cultural Ignorance

Should men write women? After all, they’ve never been women. Yet this has being going on for centuries. If men did not or could not write female characters, we would never have literary characters like Juliet Capulet, or Dolores Claiborne.

Should younger people write older people? After all, they’ve never been in their sixties, eighties, nineties, or beyond. But we wouldn’t have Atticus Finch if authors didn’t do this.

Should people of one religion write people of another? That one’s a little trickier. I would suggest studying the rituals and the liturgy of the faith that’s not your own. And talking to adherents is never a bad idea.

At the same time, writers should keep in mind that adherents are all different, even those within the exact same sect.

… And Then There’s Race

Folks, we have now entered the minefield.

If you’re writing a Black character, for example, and you’re Asian, you probably don’t have the same experiences. And basing your character off Black characters you’ve seen on TV or in the movies is a surefire way to miss the boat on doing it right.

After all, popular culture is rife with exaggerations. But that’s kind of the point, particularly in comedy. Eddie Murphy as Axel Foley is rather different from Diahann Carrol as Julia Baker.

If you Frankenstein together your character based on that, well, you’re bound to be writing something truly offensive. And don’t get me started with characters who are essentially an illustration of White Savior Syndrome.

But Shouldn’t Writing Freedom Include the Freedom to Write a Diverse Cast of Characters?

Absolutely! Not only is this all right, it’s downright necessary if your writing takes place in the present time. Never seeing a Black doctor in your medical drama, or an Asian construction worker kinda denies reality.

Unless you’re trying to illustrate discriminatory hiring, or maybe all a racist character ever sees or hears.

It’s also a good stretch. Adding characters who are different from you can add some depth to your prose.

Respectfully Handling the Writing Freedom to Write Characters Who Are Not Like You

What is the easiest and most effective way to make sure you’re writing from a position of respect when you’re writing people who are not like you? The method should come as no great shock.

Talk to the people who are in the same race, religion, gender, etc. of the character you’re trying to write. Ask them if your prose works. Find out what they’re okay with, and what they’re offended by. And ask lots of people! Again, one opinion is not enough.

Don’t Abuse Your Writing Freedom

Just because society or the government doesn’t restrict the kinds of characters or stories you can write, doesn’t mean you should go out and just write whatever, willy-nilly, because you feel like it. Not when respect for real people’s identities is at stake.

Being sensitive to different kinds of people, and different kinds of characters, makes you a better writer.

So, remember, remember the fifth of November—which also happens to be Election Day here in the US—and I hope you’ll also remember to treat diverse characters with as much dignity and respect as you do real folks.

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RIP NaNoWriMo

Dammit. So, have you heard the latest, about how NaNo has essentially shot themselves in the foot, again? This one is harder to forgive than the community management debacle. And so, I am drawing a line in the sand (finally, I suppose). Sorry, but RIP NaNoWriMo.

Why Would I Ever Say RIP NaNoWriMo? And Why Now?

I’ll start from the semi-beginning. NaNoWriMo was fun and cute and kinda wholesome. It’s how Untrustworthy was published in the first place. Then, in the last year or so, their forums moderation truly fell apart. Apparently, pedo-type content was being served to minors. Lovely, not.

And so, NaNo decided, okay, we’ll certify our volunteer moderators. But then I thought, well, it’s not great, but it’s something. And, I’ve seen plenty of places simply fall down when it came to moderation. Yeah, I’m looking at you, Facebook.

And, in retrospect, it feels like the issue with content moderation was almost inevitable. Why? Because they really didn’t have good safeguards in place, and there were minors on the site, with very little supervision.

But now, AI is the issue. So, WTF NaNoWriMo?

Why am I Saying RIP NaNoWriMo Now?

It all started on my birthday. Er, thanks, universe. NaNoWriMo put out this FAQ about AI.

In case it’s yanked later, it starts off like this:

NaNoWriMo does not explicitly support any specific approach to writing, nor does it explicitly condemn any approach, including the use of AI.

Sounds kinda promising, eh?

If they had stopped there, I could have cautiously thrown my support, albeit with some personal reservations about it.  But then, they added this:

We believe that to categorically condemn AI would be to ignore classist and ableist issues surrounding the use of the technology, and that questions around the use of AI tie to questions around privilege.

Wait, what?

Classism

NaNo wrote:

Not all writers have the financial ability to hire humans to help at certain phases of their writing. For some writers, the decision to use AI is a practical, not an ideological, one. The financial ability to engage a human for feedback and review assumes a level of privilege that not all community members possess.

Using AI as a spellchecker or a grammar checker is not the issue, or at least it should not be. And if people aren’t in critique groups or can’t find one or don’t like them, using AI instead is, I suppose, a decent substitute.

So far, so good. Kinda, sorta.

But I’m already uncomfortable.

Ableism

NaNo wrote:

Not all brains have same abilities and not all writers function at the same level of education or proficiency in the language in which they are writing. Some brains and ability levels require outside help or accommodations to achieve certain goals. The notion that all writers “should“ be able to perform certain functions independently or is a position that we disagree with wholeheartedly. There is a wealth of reasons why individuals can’t “see” the issues in their writing without help.

This is why editors exist. Critique partners and groups. Friends. Hell, the reviews on Amazon (assuming they’re not just from someone with an axe to grind) can help to do this.

As real-life writers who I know, who are disabled have said—we (er, they) may do it more slowly, but they can still git ‘er done. And without dragging AI into it.

General Access Issues

NaNo wrote:

All of these considerations exist within a larger system in which writers don’t always have equal access to resources along the chain. For example, underrepresented minorities are less likely to be offered traditional publishing contracts, which places some, by default, into the indie author space, which inequitably creates upfront cost burdens that authors who do not suffer from systemic discrimination may have to incur.

… and what? The fact that some writers have less financial means than others is nothing new. And the fact that a good cover is expensive? Not news, either. Is this to somehow wrap the use of AI for a cover in virtue? Well, I got some virtue-style news for NaNo.

Given that AI is trained on all sorts of stuff with no artist permissions, it is the biggest copyright infringer on the planet. So, what’s better? A lousy cover that at least you own? But you don’t sell anything? Or a sharpish AI cover which infringes and looks creepy?

Don’t they both stink, not just in terms of virtue, but in terms of feeling like you’re doing the right thing?

Or, hey, here’s an idea.

How about paying an actual artist?

But, but Costs!

Yeah, I get it. It’s not cheap. Nope, it’s not. Writing is a pretty expensive hobby/side gig.

So, try Fiverr.

Here’s another idea. Work with someone you know who’s got a decent handle on Photoshop or Adobe Indesign, and get a good photograph. How do you get a good photograph? Take one if you’re talented or pay someone you know who’s talented. Or buy one from a place that sells stock photos.

Another idea? Save your pennies. And yeah, it won’t happen immediately. Maybe your up to the minute, ripped from the headlines thriller is a rush and should be out there ASAP.

But that’s an exception, not the rule.

Here’s a Little Secret

Shh. Tell no one!

But seriously, folks. The world can wait a bit for your novel about a vampire rodeo rider from Alpha Centauri who fights crime in their spare time.

Dang, now I want to write this.

But in the meantime, I hate to say it, but I will.

I’m sorry, but it’s over. It’s not me, it’s you. So RIP NaNoWriMo. We had a good run, you and me. I loved you fiercely. But it’s over.

But What About This November and the Others, Ever Onward?

Here’s another little secret.

You don’t need them, and neither do I. We can write whenever we want to. I loved the urgency of it, and the event feeling of it. But the event feeling has been gone for a while now. And guess what? I (and you, too) can create my own urgency.

I like doing this in November, partly for nostalgic reasons but also because it’s a holiday-like event. And I like that it’s near the end of the year, but not quite.

So, I’ll be doing something similar. But I’ll call it 30Day50k.

You want to join me? It’s free. There are no forums. No police. And no counters. It’s totally the honor system. Ain’t got no prizes.

Just… write.

RIP NaNoWriMo. Long live 30Day50k.

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Sharing Less

Sharing Less

Did you know that sharing less can help you out in dozens of ways? Because there is something to be said for mystery.

For a fan dancer’s artfully concealing fans, if you will. For a dark corner where the camera does not go, and where we do not allow others to see. Perhaps not even our lovers, our mothers, our children and, most assuredly, not our government.

Origins

This post is a riff on Learning Not to Share, an article by Rich Barlow in my alumni magazine, Bostonia.

Wait a second, oops! I just told you where I went to college. Better cover that up, and sweep it out of the way.

Oh no, wait! I just told you it was undergrad. Good thing I didn’t tell you one of my professors studied under Wittgenstein.

D’oh! I probably just gave away that I majored in Philosophy! Wait, I’ll come in again.

We Keep on Sharing

It is like this, over and over and over again online. We share. And we share again. And then we overshare. While the above few tidbits probably don’t tell you too much about me, there is plenty of additional information out there. There are plenty of minefields. So I might accidentally drop something whereby someone could steal a password, stalk me, take my identity, burgle my house while I’m away, etc.

Digital Nosiness

Stephen Baker, the author of The Numerati, talks about what essentially amounts to digital nosiness – too much information out there, and we’re all inviting it in. And we do so in the name of greater security, or peace of mind. We want to make sure our teenagers are driving safely so we agree to put a black box in the car.

And we want to know that our elderly parents are all right (but we are not committed enough to move them home with us, or move to their homes or cities, even briefly), so we install sensors in their beds to make sure they get out of them every day. So then, as privacy erodes, we accept more and more of these intrusions until they are no longer seen as intrusive. And a privacy (and shame!) tradition that harkens back to biblical times is canned in favor of The Age of TMI.

Stop Volunteering Information

Is it possible to shut the barn door, when the horse has hightailed it for the next county? Sadly, probably not. But this oversharing is nothing new. I well recall, when I was practicing law (uh oh, another identifier!), prepping witnesses for depositions. E. g. if the opposing counsel asks, “Were you driving?”, the answer is yes, no or I don’t remember. It is not, yes, and the car is blue. If the lawyer wants to know the color of the car, she’ll ask. Don’t volunteer anything.

Yet, inevitably, people would do just that – they would volunteer all sorts of stuff. The vast majority of it was completely harmless. However, every now and then, it opened up different things, and drew others into question. Or it got the whole thing onto some wacky tangent and it then became hard to throw a lasso over the proceedings and get them back to the matter at hand.

And a deposition, once, which was going to take maybe 45 minutes took the better part of a week as a witness and opposing counsel kept feeding one another more digressions – even after I repeatedly told the witness to just stick with answering the actual questions and nothing more.

This tactic, by the way, did not, ultimately, harm my client or help the opponent. All it did was make the matter stretch out that much longer. And, I am sure, it nicely increased my opponent’s bill. I was on salary – a deposition could take three years and I would not make any extra money. Dang, there I go again, oversharing!

Wiping Away Shame

Some sharing, particularly in the face of things that have been taboo for too long, seems to be, to me, to be a very good thing. Take, for example, the physical demands and changes that go along with weight loss. In the interests of full disclosure, this is a subject rather near and dear to my heart.

So I put it out there – the fact that stretch marks don’t really go away and what post-weight loss plastic surgery is really like and how sometimes, no matter how much you want to convince yourself otherwise, the oatmeal just does not taste one bit like fried chicken.

I think that this kind of oversharing can have a true benefit. Give hope, or at least some amusement and information. And trample away shame until it’s gone.

But there is plenty more out there where that came from, and it is often all too much, and it can be damaging. Give away too much and you are the naked fan dancer, all out of fans.

How to Strike a Balance by Sharing Less

So my suggestion is: tread lightly, and as wisely as you can, and ask yourself: will this information do more harm than good? Will it hurt me or my family? So even if the answer to both questions is no, my advice is: consider it and weigh it anyway. And decide, one way or the other.

Do this based upon reasoned understanding and not on expediency, or going along to get along, or trying to be cooler than everyone else in school. Above all, do not sleepwalk and step backward into these kinds of giveaways. If you are going to toss aside that last fan, at least look your audience in the eye when you do so.

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How Social Media Can Ruin Your Life

Do You Know How Social Media Can Ruin Your Life?

Woo doggy, social media can really do it to you.

Oh. My. God.

You did WHAT???!?!?!?

Quick, lemme tweet it!

No, I’ll take a picture and upload it to Instagram.

And I can’t forget to blog it!

This kind of gaffe deserves a Facebook post, too!

Really?

So you know what’s it like. You post a selfie taken at the ballgame. Except you told your boss that you were home sick, with the flu. You were supposed to be with your significant other. But, oops, you checked into Foursquare. With your friend. You know, the one with benefits. Or maybe you rant against your kid’s soccer coach on Twitter. And he calls you out on it.

Hence in May of 2014, The Boston Globe presented a half a dozen ways that social media can ruin your life.

And the article presents some boneheaded moves, including a poor choice of a Halloween costume (because evidently the victims of the Boston Marathon bombing are a laugh riot to someone out there), a Candy Crush addiction, and some poorly thought out tweets.

You Did What?

I’m sure that the following will, eventually, be the kinds of behaviors that could be added to a successor article (Note: some of these are real, some are speculative. I won’t name names. So you decide whether any of these have really happened, or are still in the ‘maybe’ column):

  1. How about claiming a permanent injury for your lawsuit and then checking in from a dance contest
  2. What about a court-ordered Gamblers’ Anonymous meeting blown off for a trip to the track – and a selfie with the dogs or horses running their hearts out in the background.
  3. Or dissing your ex, big time, on Facebook or Twitter, and your child growing up to read your sunshiny status updates.
  4. And then maybe a job interview, as you tout your fine record of academic achievement, with old Instagram photos of you showing off your barely passing C-average transcript.
  5. Finally, politicians caught with underage drinking photos, sexting, pictures of their junk, and a panoply of other nuggets of oversharing.

I love social media but man oh man, people! Have a little self-control and some common sense.

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The Power of Social Media (Neurotic Writers’ Edition)

Welcome to The Power of Social Media (Neurotic Writers’ Edition)

We neurotic writers welcome you. And now we’ll go hide, if you’ll excuse us.

Chicken Scratch

Neurotic Writers. So, I know aspiring writers. Lots and lots of them, actually.

You probably do, too. There are lots of people with a manuscript out there … somewhere. Perhaps it’s just in a hard drive. Or maybe it’s been uploaded to a fiction site. Or perhaps it has gotten a little exposure by having a chapter or a tantalizing fragment tossed onto a forums site.

It might take the form of a blog (Gee, I wonder if I’m doing that …?). There are some that are typed (Remember that?). Others are only in long hand. And still others are locked away in brain form only.

Attention Monsters, All

Whatever form it has taken, there is one thing I have learned about aspiring writers. And this includes fan fiction writers, by the way. Don’t dis ’em. They care about what they do, too! This may also be true of established writers as well. Although I’m not even so sure where “established” starts happening.

If it starts when you’ve gotten a check for writing, then count me in the established camp. If not, well, then it might be that I am still waiting for my established writer card. But I digress. What have I learned about aspiring writers?

It’s that we are all attention monsters.

We all crave attention. But it’s more than just “Look at me! Look at me!” Instead, it’s more like, “Please oh please oh please read my stuff and leave detailed feedback so I know you really read it and don’t forget to tell me how kick-bun awesome I am!

Er, yeah.

Now, pretty much everyone on the planet adores hugs and positive attention and love and happiness. For aspiring writers, though, it’s poured onto a page.

The soul is naked, for all to poke at.

Erm, that wasn’t meant to evoke an NC-17 image. Shame on you for thinking so. And now that’s all you can think of, am I right?

It is scary and it is daunting. And it is exhilarating when you get even a scrap of positive feedback.

Enter Social Media

For aspiring writers with a backbone and a somewhat thicker skin, social media can be a way to get some of that craved feedback.

But how?

The first and probably most obvious method is to have a Twitter stream dedicated to your writing. I doubt that most people want to read about writer’s block, so you need to have something going on. Perhaps you could write about inspirations, or earlier works, or how things fit together in your universe.

Hence I am also talking about a blog. You can blog about writing. The creative process can be fascinating for people who are into it. Maybe you’d like to review your own work, and comment on what you’ve learned, and how you’ve grown as an author. Put both of these together, and you’ve got a pretty dynamic combination. You write, you blog about it and then you tweet about your blog posts and your writing.

Plus writing begets writing. Even blog writing (which is a rather different animal from book-writing) can help keep writer’s block at bay. It helps to exercise these muscles fairly regularly.

Is There Another Option for Us Neurotic Writers?

Post on social sites. Hence for fan fiction, there are sites like Fanfiction.net. And for purely original stories, they have a sister site, Fiction Press. Or you could try Wattpad. In addition, plenty of more specialized fiction and fan fiction sites exist. Google is your friend!

But be aware of scams; they do exist. Furthermore, putting your work out there does not guarantee that you retain full rights to it. And this is despite the laws in your own country. In addition, understand there’s a lot of plagiarism and downright theft out there. So remain as cautious as with any other information you put online.

I honestly cannot stress that last one enough.

Understand, too, that if you neurotic writers are going to submit to a traditional publisher, they often don’t want you to have posted your story elsewhere beforehand. Because this has to do with the full rights to your product. Hence you might want to put out your smaller or less important works, and save your really big one, if you are ever planning to submit to a traditional publishing house.

Competitions

Yet another option is competitions. Here are some. Because the inspiration from this blog post came from learning that a friend had a story in an old (now offline) competition. The competition ran as a pure social media experiment. Hence, while good storytelling and story-crafting matter, so does publicity.

Like with any other social media site, “likes”, comments and popularity all play a role. For my friend, and for others trying to make it, putting the link onto Facebook or Twitter is essential to getting the word out. Even this blog post is helpful. FYI, and just for the record, this post is my own idea and she did not request or suggest it.

Let’s Head on Over to the Reader End of Things

The community of aspiring writers is, truly, a community. And that means give and take. But what kind of give and take? The kind that goes along with reviews and comments. Because for those who are trying to write for a living, commenting and reviewing should be a part of that. Readily and cheerfully provide constructive criticism, if desired.

Aspiring neurotic writers write for exposure. And often they get exposure from fellow aspirants. What better way to forge a sense of community than to read one another’s works, and comment thereon?

The Upshot of It All for Neurotic Writers Just Like Me (and Maybe Even You?)

For those of us neurotic writers who put it out there every day, who bare ourselves and our souls with prose or poetry, fiction or nonfiction, fan or wholly original, short story or multi-novel series, we all have a major issue in common – we want recognition.

We don’t even necessarily want to be famous, but we want to be the one at the fireside who spins a yarn as others sit, enraptured. And with social media, we hope, there just might be some people listening.

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Online Personas and Cyber Infidelity, Oh My!

A Look at Online Personas and Cyber Infidelity—Oh My!

Cyber Infidelity? Yep, it sure exists.

Years ago, author Sophie Hannah did some research for a book she was writing. And so, she conducted a survey of Twitter, OKCupid and other sites, in conjunction with just plain out and out asking people – is online infidelity worse than in-person infidelity?

Results

Her results were mixed.

Some of the respondents saw less harm in a relationship where the parties never actually, physically, meet. Others saw it as being more or less the same as a physical affair, or at least an emotional one.

Hannah did this research for her book, The Telling Error. She says,

“The thing about Twitter is that everything is on there, so whatever you’re interested in is there.But it is capable of being incredibly nasty. I noticed that whenever somebody either does something wrong or offends somebody, Twitter will form a kind of aggressive, vindictive mob and start slagging off that person. Almost always, the punishment is worse than the crime.”

Cyber Infidelity: Some Takeaways

For bored and isolated people, social media can often serve as a godsend. Yet with worries such as this, spouses might do well to be cautious. Not necessary jealous, but at least to be wondering a bit, if someone spends seemingly forever online. It does not help that a lot of online behaviors encourage an almost addictive obsession. Because we crave the latest tweets.

We can’t wait to read the next gem from the Huffington Post, or take the latest meaningless quiz from Buzz Feed, or try to prank our friends with the most recent fake news from The Onion. And do not get me started on Candy Crush.

In fact, many of these algorithms and reward systems are designed for, you guessed it, keeping us on the edge of our seats and fully engaged.

Hence the opportunities are all too ample for vulnerable, lonely people to end up typing a little too much with someone else, and for it to turn into sexting and worse.

Where Do We Go From Here?

Making friends online is truly fun and, for a lot of people, the only thing that truly keeps them sane. Consider the shut-in, the 24/7 caregiver, or the spouse of someone on deployment. Or the person crippled by anxiety. They probably aren’t getting a lot of opportunities to talk to people within spitting distance of their age group.

And of course there are people who have a significant other who does not share their fandom. Or just plain bored people.

Every single one of these folks is vulnerable, in some way, to this kind of cheating.

I wonder who will tweet The Scarlet Letter now.

Cyber infidelity? It’s here to stay.


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Hesitation Generation

What do I Mean by Hesitation Generation?

So, the Hesitation Generation. So as I travel around the ‘net, I also take note of what is happening in my own backyard. What I have seen is an odd and somewhat disturbing trend.

I am the Project Manager for Able2know and in some ways it’s got its finger on the pulse. But, a caveat, this is a rather limited pulse. This is a mere fraction of the web and therefore, by extension, an even tinier fraction of the world. Yet this is the world I know, and so I will report on it.

Relationships

A2K is a generalized Q & A website where people can post all manner of questions. The availability and quality of the answers varies greatly. Keep in mind: no one is paid to answer questions on Able2know.

Hence inquiries about voltage are generally answered with an admonition to hire a licensed electrician. Requests for medical advice are answered vaguely, and nearly always involve telling the poster to follow up with their personal physician. Inquiries about the law receive a nearly identical treatment, save for the advice to contact an attorney.

And then there’s relationships.

You don’t need a degree in psychology to be able to dispense advice. Anyone who appears to be clinically depressed is told to seek treatment. Anyone who appears to be abused is advised to leave, and to contact their local authorities.

But it’s the people in the middle who I’m talking about.

Communications

What does it mean when someone stares at you? What is a good idea for a first date? How do I ask someone out? How do I get someone to ask me out? And the saddest – how do I get over a heartache?

And it’s amazing to me (and it really should not be anymore) how many people are paralyzed at the thought of actually speaking to the object of their desire. They wait and think they are seeing signals, and then they ask what those supposed signals mean. It’s like reviewing the Zapruder film, frame by agonizing frame.

My advice is usually – ask.

  • How do you feel about me?
  • Do you want to go out for coffee?
  • Are you seeing anyone right now?
  • What would you like to do together?

So many of them thank me and promise they will ask (I have heard back from some, and  they tend to report either success or relief that they finally know).

But why the heck couldn’t these people have figured that out from the get-go?!?!?!

Back to Ike

It can be a little bit like the 1950s, where girls preen and sit by the telephone, waiting for Prince Charming  to deign to call – and heaven forfend he should take more than 20 minutes to get on the stick and call!

And guys hem and haw about the most letter-perfect thing to say, when the reality is that the perfect thing to say is something, as that beats the pants off saying and doing absolutely nothing. The same is true in non-cis relationships, of course.

I’m not so sure who that dynamic favors, except for the phone companies. Because minute numbers go sky high, and Facebook’s advertisers benefit as people check each other’s statuses and relationship statuses obsessively. And  then they get to serve yet more ads.

It seems as if everyone wants to fast-forward through the movie, and cut the suspense. Instead, all they seem to want is the sunset and the fateful kiss. Dorothy clicks her heels together before she ever leaves Kansas. And nobody seems to miss the Munchkins and the Wicked Witch and the Tin Man and the rest of the middle part. All that matters is the destination, and never the journey.

Risks

Something is missing here, and what’s missing is the taking of chances. I get that these are generally rather young people. The vast, vast majority of them are between the ages of 13 and 28. That 15-year span is the worst – it’s a combination of raging hormones and self-absorption.

But nowadays that’s spiked with a seemingly inbred inability to take a chance. Plus it’s all fueled by the artificial immediacy of far too much social media.

Instead of risk-taking, everyone seems to want the risks scrubbed out of their lives. They want the endgame handed to them on a silver platter yet refuse to do even a smidgen of the legwork required in order to get there.

Sample Size

A second caveat – this is, to be sure, a small group of people. Furthermore, they are self-selecting. Very confident folk are far less likely to request advice in any endeavor. Plus there is the age issue, as I have already mentioned.

People in their forties ask relationship questions, too, but those tend to be different. They are less about an initiation of connections and more about either reentering the dating pool or the dynamic of being a parent (or dating one) while in the game.

Upshot, Kinda, for the Hesitation Generation

So, where does that leave the Hesitation Generation and the rest of us?

An inability to take risks does not bode well. It clouds decisions on everything from trying a new brand of fabric softener to consenting to an experimental drug trial. It colors employment and investment choices, and keeps people out of new business ventures and away from new books, films and music.

The upside, naturally, is that it may be preventing sexually risky behaviors. That’s a good thing, of course.

However, risks are often good, and a life without them is rather dull indeed. It can be mindless consumerism as people give themselves the same personal rewards over and over again.

The trick, as in all things, is to find a balance.

And now, a bonus.

How Can You Mend a Broken Heart?

One last thing – here, for free, for Hesitation Generation, is my standard heartache cure. Your mileage, of course, will vary.

  • Expect to feel lousy for a while, and understand that that is a natural reaction. Congratulate yourself – you were affected enough to really feel something.
  • Relationships often keep us from doing other things, such as seeing other friends. So spend some time with your friends.
  • Explore things to do on your own. Some are inward, such as making art or even baking cookies. Others are more outward, like taking a class.

More You Can Do

  • Fill up your time. Being busy gives you few opportunities to wallow in misery. Your boss is likely not without sympathy, but you still need to write the reports, etc. or do whatever it is that you do. Treat your leisure time a little bit more like a job, in the sense that you should make some commitments and stick by them. If your leisure time is to paddle a canoe, then paddle the damned canoe. Don’t back out of that.
  • Do something physical. Exercise can not only fill up your time, it can also help with depression.
  • Do something for someone less fortunate than you. Read to a blind person. Serve at a soup kitchen. Visit people in a nursing home. Volunteer at a group home. These actions don’t just help the community, they can also help you gain some sorely needed perspective.
  • Don’t jump into a new relationship right away. Being single does not have to automatically mean being lonely. This is a time to cultivate your inner resources.
  • If you think you need it – and in particular, if you are experiencing suicidal ideation – please seek out the care of a professional. There is no shame whatsoever in getting the help that you need. If you need medical help to mend a broken heart, it should be no different from seeking medical help to mend a broken arm.

Enjoy the Bee Gees, Hesitation Generation.

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Of Ice Buckets and Virality

An Observation, Of Ice Buckets and Virality

You have to be on another planet (or, offline) to not know about this. It has, most likely, been in the mainstream offline media by now. I don’t watch a lot of television, and I have not yet seen it in newspapers, but that does not mean it is not coming. It has virality in spades.

I am, of course, talking about the terrifically inventive charitable idea du jour – The ALS Ice Bucket Challenge.

Background

On July 31st of 2014, Pete Frates, who has ALS, challenged some celebrities, including New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady, to what would become known as the ice bucket challenge.

The challenge was already going on, per the article, but the concept did not begin to gain viral social media traction until July 31st .

The premise is simple – either donate $100 to ALS research or douse yourself with ice water. You’ve got 24 hours and, once you’ve done either (or both), challenge at least three more people.

The idea spread virally. A lot of people were happy to see something other than Gaza and Ferguson in their news feeds.

ALS

ALS (Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis) is a serious medical condition for which there is no known cure. It is a disease of the nerve cells in the brain and spinal cord that control voluntary muscle movement.

ALS is also known as Lou Gehrig’s disease. Complicating matters is the fact that there are only about 30,000 or so people in the United States who definitely have it.

Hence big drug manufacturers aren’t pursuing cures, as such cures and research are not profitable enough. It is essentially an orphaned disease.

But let’s get back to the challenge.

Purpose of the Challenge

I can come up with five purposes, and probably three (maybe four) of them were not the original ones.

  1. Raise money for ALS research
  2. Boost awareness of the disease
  3. Lean on drug companies to pressure them to work on developing a cure
  4. Lean on politicians to push them to pressure drug companies or perhaps pass laws subsidizing or otherwise encouraging research into orphan diseases
  5. Hire a celebrity spokesperson (or more than one) to advocate for the victims of the disease

The challenge performs the first two tasks perfectly. Either you pony up the funds or you get soaked. And that all goes on camera and becomes an upload on social media. Most people reveal their choice on Facebook, which has over 1.4 billion users.

The last three purposes are the kinds of things that you can use this sort of attention for. I do hope the big folks in ALS research don’t squander this opportunity, and try for all three.

Why is it Viral?

The challenge hits about every mark when it comes to virality. Here are some reasons.

  1. It has a strong visual and auditory appeal. The dousing, the screaming, or even smug people signing checks and getting wet anyway? Don’t underestimate how much humor there is in seeing someone getting their (allegedly deserving) comeuppance.
  2. Humor is one component to virality, or at least it is one of the elements that is somewhat more likely to be present when any piece of media goes viral. By definition, the flipping of super-chilled water onto anyone’s head is going to be funny.

More Reasons

    1. Another component that is often present in viral media is uplifting images, text, and actions. This is why Upworthy does as well as it does. When people write a check instead of dump water, they hit this mark instead. Either way, if they speak a bit about ALS, they also hit this mark.
    2. Timing – initiating the challenge in January would not have worked as well. While people have been answering polar bear-style challenges for years, if you want to go viral, you want the majority to participate, or at least believe that they might want to participate. Selecting the month of August was brilliant, as this is either the warmest or second-warmest month in most years in the Northern Hemisphere. That is, the hemisphere where people are, in general, more likely to be wealthy and more likely to be online. In short, these were the people most likely to either participate in the challenge or at least watch videos of it and read articles (like this one!) about it.

Yet More Reasons

  1. The second piece of timing is how it came when so many people had seen a lot about Gaza and Ferguson, as I stated previously. For many, the challenge was a welcome bit of good news in an otherwise dreary Dog Days of Summer media landscape.
  2. There is an element of daring in it but, except for the elderly (Sir Ian McKellan notwithstanding) and the gravely ill, it’s not really dangerous. But do watch out for slippery floors. Yes, there are already blooper videos out there (many of them are NSFW; Google is your friend if you’re interested in such things).
  3. Virality is baked right into it. One aspect of the challenge is to call out at least three other people and challenge them. Furthermore, they have 24 hours to respond either way. Hence you have added three more names. However, the names begin to repeat after a while. So the trebling of participants slows down, eventually shrinking a lot closer to a doubling of participants. The duplication of names also happens because most people run in somewhat small circles and share neighbors, friends, family members, etc. The 24 hour time limit plays very well into most people’s demands for more and more and different entertainment to consume, on daily, hourly, or even minute by minute basis.

Still More Reasons

  1. Social media has shaped a lot of our behaviors, and the ice bucket challenge plays nicely into how ordinary people are finding out that they are now entertainers online. They have followers, and they are beginning to understand that they need to provide content for their followers. As a result, so many people obsess with taking selfies, or Instagramming everything they eat or wear. Because they know they need to provide content, but they’re stumped as to what to provide! The challenge provides a perfect prompt.
  2. The involvement of celebrities added a cool factor. The involvement of all sorts politicians on the political spectrum allowed a way for political rivals to talk to each other. After all, who could be against trying to defeat a horrible disease?

The challenge has even spawned parodies and copycats. There’s the rice bucket challenge in India, the rubble bucket challenge in Gaza, and the Orlando Jones bullet bucket challenge. It’s a helluva clever campaign, and deserves all the props it’s been getting.

Upshot

Amusing and upbeat, the challenge has, as of the writing of this blog post, raised over $50 million for research. Please give generously and, in the meantime, enjoy Bill Gates getting drenched.

Takeaways from a Few Years Later

Frates passed away in 2019. But his legacy is not just one of increased awareness about the disease. It’s also a legacy of increased donations to attempt to cure it.

Pretty good for a guy who went to BC 😉

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Just Trying to Make Some Sense of it All

Be aware, there are adult words in here, for very adult events. Turn back if four-letter words bother you more than terrorism. That makes no sense to me. But maybe it does to you.

Stay Strong and Keep Every Sense About You

For all who have been living under rocks, things here in Boston have been astounding over the course of the past week. If it were a film script, it would never be made. Because no one would believe it.

On Monday, April 15th, 2013, the unthinkable happened, when two bombs went off at the finish line of the Boston Marathon. Three people died, and nearly 180 were wounded, many gravely.

Adventures in Career Changing | Janet Gershen-Siegel | Trying to Make Sense
Close call in Brighton – the blue star is more or less where I live

 

 

Then, going from Thursday, April 18th at night, into about 24 hours later, Friday, April 19th, at about 8:40 PM, there was a lockdown and a manhunt here. To give you an idea of how close it all was, check out this map – I can scarcely fathom it.

And I have friends, former colleagues, who were even closer, people who heard shots and explosions.

This is reality.

But I want to put in what, to me, is a bit of perspective, I hope.

A Sense of Destruction and Despair

There are plenty of horrible images and I will, mainly, not focus on them.

But this image should tell the tale of Friday. We, like most people, did as requested and stayed in our home.

I took maybe 20 minutes at about lunchtime and sat on my front porch. I saw a guy walking his dog and another getting a smoke. Plus maybe three cars went by.

And that was it.

I firmly believe that staying out of law enforcement’s collective way was vital in not just keeping bystanders from being harmed but also in the swift conclusion to the manhunt. Also, I will not publicize the alleged (yes, alleged; I believe in the right to a fair trial) perp’s name.

A Sense of Hope and Glory

There are a lot of images and words and I cannot possibly cover them all so I will cherry pick a few.

Neil Diamond and Sweet Caroline

So Neil Diamond hopped on a plane yesterday morning at 4:30 AM.

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He just showed up, 40 minutes before the Red Sox game was to start, and asked if he could sing “Sweet Caroline“.

Sure thing, Neil.

David Ortiz (who never made more sense than at this very moment)

David Ortiz got on a microphone and dropped the f-bomb on live TV. The FCC shrugged and said the equivalent of, hey, no sweat.

David Ortiz: This is our fucking city! He made the most sense of all
David Ortiz: This is our fucking city! And boy did he ever make sense.

Ortiz, I am sure, did not plan what he would say. He just spoke from his heart.

And I am sure most of us agree with him and aren’t about to hold the f-bomb against him. I know I don’t.

People care. And they have also expressed their caring in some amazing and offbeat, quirky ways. These are the ways that make the most sense to them.

Always & Forever

The Always & Forever Tattoo Salon in Watertown has a sidewalk memorial going. Add to it, if you like.

Fundraising

There are multiple fundraisers going on. The big one is OneFundBoston. This charity was started by Mayor Menino and Governor Patrick and is of course legitimate.

The local running club, the Brighton Bangers, also held a fundraiser.

Sense, Memory, and Healing

I refuse to provide the names of the alleged perps. But I will gladly share the names of the lost and the injured.

Krystle Campbell

This young woman was 29. She was a restaurant manager at Jasper White’s Summer Shack and mainly worked in Hingham and Cambridge, putting in 70- and 80-hour weeks.

I celebrated my 50th birthday at the Cambridge location last September, and may very well have seen her.

Sean Collier

This MIT police officer lost his life in the Thursday night shootout. Boston Police stood at attention with respect as his hearse passed, remembering this young man who gave his all.

Lingzi Lu

This young woman was a graduate statistics student at Boston University, my alma mater.

Lingzi Lu
Lingzi Lu

The wildly generous trustees of Boston University have already raised over half a million dollars for a scholarship in her name.

Martin Richard

This eight-year-old child was wiser than most of us, eh? His father, mother and sister were also hurt. So please remember them, also.

Jeff Bauman

This young man‘s image was all over the news, as Carlos Arredondo helped get him to safety and care. Some images were cropped. Others showed the full extent of the awful damage to his legs. This site is a legitimate fundraising site to help pay for his care.

Also, if you want to send him a card, send it to:

In care of Jen Joyce
for Jeff Bauman
117 Tynsboro Rd.
Westford, MA 01886

Celeste and Sydney Corcoran

Sydney and Celeste Corcoran at Boston Medical Center
Sydney and Celeste Corcoran at Boston Medical Center

These women are mother and daughter, and they were both also hurt (Celeste has more extensive injuries). Also, there is a legitimate fund to help with their care.

 

 

 

Dic Donohue

Officer Dic Donohue
Officer Dic Donohue

This police officer and Navy veteran was also wounded in the Thursday night gunfight. And so here is a legitimate fundraising site for him.

Patrick and Jessica Downes

These newlyweds also each lost a leg. This is a legitimate fundraising site to help pay for their care.

Marc Fucarile

So he is neighbor to a friend who lives in Stoneham. And this young roofer has already lost one leg, and there is shrapnel in his heart. There is a legitimate fund to help him, too.

In Every Sense, It’s Personal

I have loved Boston ever since I attended BU (I am from the Class of ’83) and am also a runner (but only 5K races – marathons are too long for me).  Many of these directly affected people are second and third degree of separation from me.

I cannot begin to describe just how personal it all feels, and I know that my feelings are rather small within the scope of this immense tragedy.

So I leave you with this image –

The Strip and sense
The Strip made a ton of sense!

and with this song.

Peace. Please.

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