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The creation of a character is one of the more personal things that a writer ever does.

It cuts across all genres. Who is this person? How do they drive the plot? What’s the storyline that drapes around them?

Why do they matter?

Character Studies and Reviews

Any writer who tells you that they put nothing of themselves into their characters is either lying or not really making characters. They may be making mouthpieces to further an agenda.

Or they may be creating stick figures to hang a plot on. They might be impatient and looking to cut to the chase without all of the preliminary bullshit.

But there is always going to be something or other there. If you are writing people with depth and imagination, and you want them to be real, then your own experiences are going to inform them.

And, in a way, that’s why sensitivity readers matter. I am a middle-aged Jewish woman from the northeastern United States. And so, by definition, I cannot possibly be in the head of a slave from the 1770s.

Now, I do, honestly, feel that we writers can craft a character who does not have our shared experience. But we need to approach it well.

Talk to people. Is this believable? Does this person resonate with you? Are they respectful to your heritage, culture, and background?

Shakespeare wrote Lady MacBeth. Agatha Christie wrote Hercule Poirot. And so on, and so forth.

A character should be partly like you, because you inform and shape them. But you don’t have to be exactly like a character in order to be able to write one effectively.

Character Review — Frances Miller AshfordCharacter Review, Josie James, Greg Shapiro, Jazminder Parikh, MD, Johnny Barnes, Dalton Farouk, Peri Martin, Carmen D’Angelo, MD, Dr. Devon Grace, Tommy 2000, Lex Feldman, Velexio, Character Reviews are Coming, Ixalla, Elise Jeffries, MD, Frances Miller Ashford, Marnie Shapiro, Ceilidh O’Malley, Dr. Mei-Lin Quan, Trixie LaRue, Tathrelle, Nell Murphy, Craig Firenze, Adger, Astrid Hennigsen, Benjamin Chase, Bobby/Jerry Brodie, Cyndi Mendez, Dez Hunter, Eileen Bragin, Eleanor Braverman, Judge John Lowell, Keisha Darnell, Minka Lopez, Nell Murphy, Noah Braverman, Olga Nicolaev, Peter Ray, Rachel Gifford, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Sally Bowles/TSTO Tiles, Shannon Duffy, Student #17, Tad Lewis, Ginny Carey, TSTITO, Selkhet 3000, complex evil characters, Emma 1000, They Say This is the One, Elston Young, Trinity Hawthorne, Character Creation

Character Review — Frances Miller Ashford

Published by Janet Gershen-Siegel on October 1, 2024

Consider Frances Miller Ashford, One of My Original Characters

Who is Frances Miller Ashford?

When Ceilidh is hired to work for the Edwards, the first thing readers should notice is: it’s a really big house. There are obviously going to be other people working there. Lots and lots of them! If you have ever watched Downton Abbey or Upstairs, Downstairs, then you know exactly what I mean.

But at the same time, I knew that not everyone would know the nuances of Victorian era living. Plus, I needed to have a good way to get across the look and feel of the Edwards House. There would have to be a character who would, at least in part, behave as a kind of expository mouthpiece.

Enter Frances.

Margaret Qualley, who I see as Frances Miller
Margaret Qualley, who I see as Frances Miller. Image is intended for reference purposes only.

Where Did Frances Miller Ashford Come From?

I wanted very much to have an immigrant much like Ceilidh but better settled in the story. Also, I needed for Ceilidh to have someone she could talk to. Frances fills the bill rather nicely in both areas. Further, I needed Ceilidh to have someone who had an English accent she could emulate. It didn’t seem realistic to have Ceilidh remember Captain Underwood perfectly for years. But Frances was a lot more plausible.

Originally, her last name was Marshall, but then I had too many scenes with a character named Barry Marsh. The names were starting to get confusing. And I could not change Marsh’s name, as he was named after someone I know.

Hence, Frances got a slight tweak. I also like the newer name better, because it flows much better with her (spoiler alert!) married name.

The Past is Prologue — Backstory for Frances Miller Ashford

An orphan who never knew her family, I never actually wrote her extremely early life. But Frances could have been the child of people who died—perhaps of any of the many diseases flying around Britain at the time.

Or she could have been the child of an unwed mother, left at a church or even the orphanage where she grew up. Her mother could have even been a prostitute. I don’t see her as a female Oliver Twist, the child who’s in the orphanage but should have been raised by their own wealthy family.

No. Frances was to be a real foundling, with a hard beginning. For an almost traditional look at someone who raised themselves up from their bootstraps, she is the one to look to.

Was Frances Originally Jewish?

The more I read about the Manchester Jewish Board of Guardians, the more I wonder if I could make her a Jewish child. Conversion of orphans in orphanages appears to have been pretty common at the time. The Board of Guardians is developed in 1859, though, and I put her birth at 1858. But this can work for the story line.

So, prior to the creation of an appropriate orphanage to place a Jewish child in, the possibility is high that such a foundling would be put in a non-Jewish orphanage. For a very young baby, which Frances would be, there really wouldn’t be anyone to object to someone just quietly baptizing her.

Coming to America

In keeping with what really happened to some people, I wanted Frances to have kind of gotten to Boston in a roundabout way. Ceilidh means to go to Boston. But Frances? Not necessarily.

As she got older, the orphanage was clearly going to toss someone like her out on her ear. The orphanage wouldn’t necessarily care if she ended up working, married, turning tricks, or dead. They would simply want her bed for some other, younger child.

And so I decided there would be someone who would come and promise the older girls husbands if they left the country. This would be an irresistible offer for not only someone like Frances, but also for girls like her and the orphanage itself.

But when they arrive in the United States, there are no waiting husbands. The promise was a false one. And so, rather, Frances and her cohorts become Lowell Girls, working for a mill.

After she bides her time, eventually, she gets a day off and ventures into the big city of Boston. Frances has main advantages: a pleasant voice and demeanor, a high class-sounding accent to someone like Mrs. Edwards, and a willingness to work hard. As a result, Frances gets a job in the scullery. She doesn’t keep in touch with the other girls, and has no idea what happened to them.

Her rise is slow, deliberate, and patient. I want it to feel believable. Frances knows the world does not owe her a living.

Frances Miller Ashford, a Description

So, Frances has dark eyes and dark brown curls. I always hear her as having a somewhat breathy voice. Her British accent is via Manchester. It is the kind of accent Americans generally think of when we think of British accents. She is not cockney and is not some latter-day Eliza Doolittle.

I recently decided on actress Margaret Qualley to be the face of Frances Miller. It was a bonus that Qualley was in a show called Maid!

The idea behind Frances is that she almost blends into the background in the beginning. But, of course, she ends up being a lot bigger and more important than that. Ceilidh is a big part of Frances coming into her own as, of course, Gregory Ashford is, too.

Quotes

Coming from Ballyvaughan, Ceilidh has never used indoor plumbing before. In this scene, Frances explains what to do:

Frances lifted the lid, and showed Ceilidh there was a lacquered wooden seat. “Now here’s all you do, see. You lift the lid like so and let it rest against the back here, see? And then you gather your skirts or your nightgown up and sit down, facing the back.”

“Right, yes, I see.”

“And you do your business, of course. Then you take a sheet of these papers and use it cleanse yourself.”

“What do you do with the paper afterwards?”

“You place it into the bowl, where you just did your business.”

“And then what do you do?”

“You see the lever, and the little frog pull?”

“Yes, ‘tis rather amusing.”

“You pull once and hold it for as long as it takes in your head, to say,” Frances giggled a little, “God Save the Queen.”

“Truly?”

“Truly!”

Relationships

Frances has two main relationships.

Plumber’s Assistant Gregory Ashford

Her romantic one is with her husband, Gregory Ashford. They meet when the plumber is called in, to clear away a clog in the bathroom shared by all the women servants. Gregory is the assistant. While fixing the toilet, he and Ceilidh talk a little. He asks her, “Who is the vision?”

Ceilidh asks for clarification, and he says the vision has brown curls. Ceilidh makes sure to tell Gregory that Frances is Miss Frances Miller.

For Frances, Gregory is utterly unexpected. She and Ceilidh are what anyone of the time would have called old maids. While Frances has always wished and hoped for a family, she is a practical person at heart. Her dreams of love would not necessarily come true.

And so Gregory is a pleasant surprise. He is also kind and gentle and truly cares for her. Frances gets a middle class life, and that is perfect for her.

Ceilidh O’Malley

The only other relationship (really) for Frances is her close friendship with Ceilidh. When Ceilidh arrives, unsure of whether she’ll get work, Frances is the one to help Ceilidh along and assure she gets a job as a scullery maid. Frances wants a friend, someone she can talk to. No one else in the Edwards household can fill that need for her.

And so Frances kind of puts her thumb on the scale and rigs Ceilidh’s test to be hired. Without Frances and her help, Ceilidh would not have gotten such a good job. And certainly nowhere near as quickly.

The truest of friends, Ceilidh convinces Frances to give Gregory a chance, because plumbers will always have work, so she’ll never starve. Coming from grinding poverty, that’s an enormous plus, so far as Ceilidh is concerned.

The biggest bonus is when Gregory turns out not only to be all right, but to truly be an almost (this is the 1870s and 1880s we’re talking about) an equal partner.

Other Servants

Just like Ceilidh and other women of the time, Frances is a victim of what today we would refer to as sexual harassment. Donald Smith is nasty to everyone, and he leers at virtually every woman he sees. This comes to a stop when Gregory finally steps in and makes it clear that Frances is his girl. At least Donald backs off.

With the other servants, Frances is cordial but not overly friendly. There is nothing about the woman who Ceilidh ends up replacing. I never mention her by name, and neither does Frances. And so I feel we can conclude that the two women were not too terribly close.

Conflict and Turning Point

In the first book, The Real Hub of the Universe, the conflict and turning point for Frances are nearly the same as those for Ceilidh. Without getting too far into spoiler territory, the real issue is that both Ceilidh and Frances could have lost everything. When Judge Lowell helps out, Frances realizes she’s come from nothing, but has come to have powerful friends.

Her gratitude goes beyond measure.

By the time the series ends, she has achieved a great deal of the middle class dream. In particular, in comparison to someone like the wealthy Margery Cabot Edwards, Frances has true happiness.

Continuity/Easter Eggs

Gregory’s Brighton, Massachusetts house ties in with, of all things, Mettle. It’s just down the street from the house where Craig and Mei-Lin find the solar panels—about 140 years later.

Also, as an expository character, she aligns somewhat with Ixalla from Untrustworthy. But only a little. Ixalla, after all, is well-educated. Frances, while she can ostensibly read and write, has what is likely what we would call dyslexic today.

Also, her name ties her directly to Josie James’s sixth-eldest sibling, Frances Farrah James Walsh. But Francie is a professional ballerina, and has divorce in her past. She shares custody of her daughter, Gina, with her ex-husband, Clayton. Francie Walsh lives on Titania, a Uranian moon. Her ex has custody of Gina and they live on another Uranian moon, Umbriel.

And so Frances and Francie really just share a name, but nothing else.

Future Plans

I don’t really have future places for her, simply because the series is done. But never say never, for I did write a few short one-offs with her, Ceilidh, Gregory, and Devon. She may very well turn up again. Here’s hoping!

There are also enough hints that there could very well be a sequel series if I ever get a true plot together…

Frances as an old woman could be truly compelling. With her birth in 1858, she could conceivably live into the 1930s. Without it being too much of a stretch, that is. Her earlier, harder life could even give her an advantage during the Great Depression. But she would still be about 71 when it starts, and that’s pretty old for that era. For a person with a difficult early life, even a survivor like Frances Miller Ashford might not live past her sixties, if that.

Frances Miller Ashford: Takeaways

Every main character needs a sidekick, a kind of bounce off person. Frances is that type of character. This survivor, against all odds, is still sweet and charming. This makes her one of the more optimistic characters I have ever written.

Frances Miller Ashford — because so many main characters need a true best friend.

Want More of Frances Miller Ashford?

If Frances resonates with you, then check out my other articles about them, Ceilidh, Johnny, Devon, Frances, and everyone else as they work to prevent a temporally jacked-up genocide.

Character Reviews:

Self-Review: The Real Hub of the Universe
Self-Review: The Real Heart of the Universe
and Self-Review: The Real Hope of the Universe

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Leave a Comment
Character Review — Dr. Devon GraceCharacter Review, Josie James, Greg Shapiro, Jazminder Parikh, MD, Johnny Barnes, Dalton Farouk, Peri Martin, Carmen D’Angelo, MD, Dr. Devon Grace, Tommy 2000, Lex Feldman, Velexio, Character Reviews are Coming, Ixalla, Elise Jeffries, MD, Frances Miller Ashford, Marnie Shapiro, Ceilidh O’Malley, Dr. Mei-Lin Quan, Trixie LaRue, Tathrelle, Nell Murphy, Craig Firenze, Adger, Astrid Hennigsen, Benjamin Chase, Bobby/Jerry Brodie, Cyndi Mendez, Dez Hunter, Eileen Bragin, Eleanor Braverman, Judge John Lowell, Keisha Darnell, Minka Lopez, Nell Murphy, Noah Braverman, Olga Nicolaev, Peter Ray, Rachel Gifford, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Sally Bowles/TSTO Tiles, Shannon Duffy, Student #17, Tad Lewis, Ginny Carey, TSTITO, Selkhet 3000, complex evil characters, Emma 1000, They Say This is the One, Elston Young, Trinity Hawthorne, Character Creation

Character Review — Dr. Devon Grace

Published by Janet Gershen-Siegel on September 24, 2024

Consider Devon Grace, One of My Original Characters

Who is Devon Grace?

Dr. Devon Grace arose from, among other things, Peter Capaldi being tapped to play Dr. Who.

Where Did Devon Grace Come From?

Once Ceilidh is ensconced in Massachusetts, she needed something to do that wasn’t going to be just endless cookery and housework. And then the idea for Devon sprang up, and I realized it could drive the plot rather well.

The Past is Prologue — Backstory for Devon Grace

Rich and privileged, all Devon wants to do is heal people. But it’s the Victorian era, and he’s got a major secret.

He’s gay.

And so, his very existence is essentially illegal.

Female patients seem to sense something about him, so Devon becomes essentially an OB-GYN. He delivers babies and, eventually, women start to trust him to perform abortions. His track record is decent (after all, he’s no quack), but women still die.

It all goes wrong when a relative of a member of Parliament dies on the table.

Arrested, but then charged with buggery, Devon ends up in prison for a year. But he’s lucky. Since Dr. Grace is wealthy, at least he’s not executed.

Post-Disgrace

Banished from practicing medicine in the UK, he comes to America. But he feels horribly guilty and wants to atone. He does so by becoming what we would now call a Public Health Officer. In particular, he helps a morphine addict turn her life around.

Description

Peter Capaldi, who I see as Dr. Devon GraceI see Peter Capaldi, hands down. There is no one else.

Purpose/Theme/Motivation

Like the other characters in the Universe of The Real Hub of the Universe, his motivation is to protect the Earth. Much like Ceilidh, he has a redemption arc. Finding love, and finding purpose, are key.

And, along the way, he even finds a more traditional-ish family, marrying Ellen Remy and adopting her son, Richard, who was born out of wedlock.

Quotes (to help out Ceilidh in the Charles Street Jail, Devon poses as her husband)

When the church bells rang for one, the jailhouse’s bell rang and Gregory Ashford arrived, looking concerned. Less than half an hour later, the bell rang again, and Ceilidh heard Devon’s voice. “I will visit this prisoner when I please,” he complained.

“Oh, really? And who might you be?” asked the captain.

Devon came close to the bars and Ceilidh could see he was wearing an unfamiliar cloak. Either he had purchased something new, or it was Shannon. He nodded to her and she approached. Unexpectedly, Devon took both her hands in his and kissed them and then said to Marsh, “I am her husband.”

Relationships

For someone who wanted to be left alone in his misery, he ends up making friends and more.

Ceilidh O’Malley

As originally his employee, Ceilidh is a serving girl, maid, valet, and confidante. They become closer when they reveal their secrets to each other.

At her annulment hearing, he cosplays as a priest, the third necessary for a hearing. No one needs to be the wiser.

Ellen Remy

Devon loves children and sees an injustice in how Ellen and Richard are treated by most people. He proposes marriage to fix that, but also for his own purposes. If he can convince the authorities that he’s a changed man (which we would just see as him being forced even further into the closet), he can go back to Scotland to live.

At first, Ellen is afraid he’s in love with her but she doesn’t feel the same way about her. But they come to an understanding.

Carlos

Devon’s old friend is an important member of SPHERE in Europe. They can joke and laugh and end up in love.

Shannon Duffy

The entity known as Shannon Duffy has odd relationships with most human beings. With Devon, the relationship is cordial. They play draughts a lot, and team up to help Ceilidh and Jake and the rest of SPHERE.

Conflict and Turning Point

When the Yarinduin and the Xolana attack, Devon is in the thick of it.

Continuity/Easter Eggs

Since I also see Capaldi as David Shepherd, I’ve had an intriguing idea. Perhaps Shepherd’s real name should be Devon Grace? I confess I rather like the idea.

Peter Capaldi, who I see as Dr. Devon Grace
Peter Capaldi, who I see as Dr. Devon Grace. Image is for reference purposes only.

Future Plans for Devon Grace

He will not be a part of the Real Hub of the Universe prequel. But never say never. If I write another prequel, he would be a fascinating character to cover.

Devon Grace: Takeaways

Complex, sardonic, rueful, but ultimately kind, Devon Grace was a great character to create.

Devon Grace — a doctor character ahead of his time.

Want More of Devon Grace?

If Devon resonates with you, then check out my other articles about Ceilidh, Johnny, Devon, Frances, Shannon and everyone else as they work to prevent a temporally jacked-up genocide.

Character Reviews:

Self-Review: The Real Hub of the Universe
Self-Review: The Real Heart of the Universe
and Self-Review: The Real Hope of the Universe

Next article

Leave a Comment
Character Review — Ceilidh O’MalleyCharacter Review, Josie James, Greg Shapiro, Jazminder Parikh, MD, Johnny Barnes, Dalton Farouk, Peri Martin, Carmen D’Angelo, MD, Dr. Devon Grace, Tommy 2000, Lex Feldman, Velexio, Character Reviews are Coming, Ixalla, Elise Jeffries, MD, Frances Miller Ashford, Marnie Shapiro, Ceilidh O’Malley, Dr. Mei-Lin Quan, Trixie LaRue, Tathrelle, Nell Murphy, Craig Firenze, Adger, Astrid Hennigsen, Benjamin Chase, Bobby/Jerry Brodie, Cyndi Mendez, Dez Hunter, Eileen Bragin, Eleanor Braverman, Judge John Lowell, Keisha Darnell, Minka Lopez, Nell Murphy, Noah Braverman, Olga Nicolaev, Peter Ray, Rachel Gifford, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Sally Bowles/TSTO Tiles, Shannon Duffy, Student #17, Tad Lewis, Ginny Carey, TSTITO, Selkhet 3000, complex evil characters, Emma 1000, They Say This is the One, Elston Young, Trinity Hawthorne, Character Creation

Character Review — Ceilidh O’Malley

Published by Janet Gershen-Siegel on September 19, 2024

Consider Ceilidh O’Malley, One of My Original Characters

Who is Ceilidh O’Malley?

The main character in The Real Hub of the Universe series is someone I originally thought of as “a plucky Irish scullery maid”. But then she grew and changed. And I like her better now. Readers seem to love her, too. To get truly technical and formal, this character is Ceilidh Aisling O’Malley Barnes Radford.

Oh, and her name is pronounced Kay-Lee, and her middle name, Ashling. Dance and dream.

Where Did Ceilidh O’Malley Come From?

The name came to me first. Because the idea behind Real Hub was to marry science fiction with the Victorian Era, the perfect character to observe the goings on would be in the serving class. With a story that goes from the serving class to the Boston Brahmins and back again, she could be there for all of it.

The Past is Prologue — Backstory for Ceilidh O’Malley

Considered an old maid in her tiny home village of Ballyvaughan, Ceilidh, her sister Maeve, and her mother are starving. The crops are unreliable, and the entire village is barely on the right side of grinding poverty. And that even includes the most powerful family in Ballyvaughan, the Barneses.

Ceilidh has stayed away from the men in her village. She’s a cousin of some degree to near all of them. But it’s more than that. She’s just plain not interested in them.

A part of this is because she (and one of the Barnes sons) is the best student in the one-room, multi-year schoolhouse. The teacher? Her father. But by the time she’s in her teens, her father has died of what was likely food poisoning. Things are not looking good.

And so, even though Maeve likes him, it’s Ceilidh who’s married off to the middle Barnes son, Johnny. When Johnny attacks her, she flees the country and the story begins, as does the Real Hub of the Universe series.

Description

Extremely pale, yet with the map of Ireland on her face, Ceilidh is semi-unique looking. But not so much that she should seem out of place. What I didn’t want was a stereotypical redheaded, freckle-faced Irish Colleen.

I decided Ceilidh would resemble Naomi Watts, an actress I like a great deal, particularly because she doesn’t seem to be afraid of looking her age.

Naomi Watts (as Gertrude in Ophelia) - looking a bit like Ceilidh O'Malley
This is Naomi Watts (as Gertrude in Ophelia) – looking a bit like Ceilidh O’Malley but probably too well-dressed and not as young as I’d like

Purpose/Theme/Motivation

Ceilidh’s original motivator is getting away/lying. When she leaves Ballyvaughan, it’s essentially under false pretenses. But she can’t stay.

Her struggle to not only survive, but to turn her life around, is at the heart of the series.

Quotes (Ceilidh is talking to Dr. Devon Grace, who speaks first)

“And so you left?”

“Yes. I packed and my cousin was still in the village but he was leaving. So I went with him. He took me to Kinvara and I got passage on the Atlas because Captain Underwood took pity on me. We stopped in Cornwall and I met his wife and befriended her. She agreed to be the go-between for me and my mother and sister. Helen has kindly forwarded letters and even money to them for a few years now. She has exceeded my expectations a thousandfold.”

“And your mother and sister know nothing of your whereabouts?”

“That’s correct. They don’t even know I’m in America.”

Relationships

Ceilidh, like many characters, is well-defined by her relationships in life. Friend, family member, and employee—and eventually employer—she does it all.

Friendships

A true, understanding friend, Ceilidh feels it’s important to help her friends whenever she can.

Frances Miller Ashford

Ceilidh’s first friend in the states is fellow scullery maid, Frances Miller. In fact, Frances makes it easier for Ceilidh to pass a test to be able to work at the Edwards House. To return the favor, Ceilidh works to bring Frances’s admirer, plumber’s assistant Gregory Ashford, to the house more often so the two can get to know one another. The two women are so close that they are in each other’s weddings.

Shannon Duffy

Shannon is a strange creation of mine, essentially a colony of tiny cells which, together, make up a form of collective intelligence. The colony chooses her by vote, as they choose virtually everything else. When they meet, it’s almost by random. Shannon, at the time called Levi Altschuler, is being chased by a number of bullies in the Boston Public Garden. Running from them, Shannon runs directly into Ceilidh and knocks her down. But when the bullies catch up, Ceilidh rises to defend Shannon, even though they have never seen each other before.

Shannon helps her in several different ways (trying to avoid too many spoilers here!), including helping Dr. Grace to save her life.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

This very real figure from history is initially snobbish and somewhat mean to a mere serving girl. But they grow on each other, and he takes the place of her father in some ways. As he ages, he slows down, and suffers what we would recognize as a form of senile dementia, possibly Alzheimer’s disease. She cares for him whenever they are in the same room together, and mourns him when he dies.

Dr. Devon Grace

Devon is Ceilidh’s originally stern and mysterious employer. He likes her discretion and company, and she, initially, enjoys bouncing ideas off him. In that way, he’s also something of a father surrogate to her. She accepts his faults, smooths out at least some of his rough edges, keeps his secrets, and they both make each other better.

Devon’s greatest gift to her is given in Ireland.

Ellen Remy Grace

As Ellen lives in somewhat genteel poverty, Ceilidh can relate. And when Ellen’s employment prospects are nearly zero due to her having an illegitimate child, it’s Ceilidh who gives the semi-starving woman a sandwich. And it’s Ceilidh who treats Ellen like a friend and not a pariah. In her own way, Ceilidh also realizes Ellen is in mourning and has lost a great deal more than just her reputation.

Judge John Lowell and the Other Members of SPHERE

SPHERE, the secret society at the heart of the story, is the source of several relationships for Ceilidh.

Apart from Winthrop Edwards, all the members of SPHERE are real historical figures. Lowell is Ceilidh’s second employer. He treats her well and gives her responsibilities she would normally never have gotten. He and his wife treat her fairly.

Henry Adams is mainly aloof, but in the third book, he confides that he and a woman he corresponds with are involved in what we would nowadays call an emotional affair. George Weld had been a yachtsman, but by the time Ceilidh knows him, he’s becoming disabled (possibly due to a stroke). Much like with Emerson in his later years, Ceilidh fetches him tea, helps him up and down stairs, and otherwise treats him with special care. Alexander Graham Bell joins later, and he’s initially suspicious that a woman could possibly be a good confidante. She wins him over, in a way—but lets Mrs. Lowell speak up when Bell argues at a party that women should never be working.

When Emerson dies, Ceilidh turns to SPHERE member Bronson Alcott to take his place as the father figure in her life. Delighted, Alcott makes her promise to keep in close touch.

Finally, Winthrop Edwards is her Ceilidh’s first employer in the US. Snobbish and very private, we get to know him better in the second and third books than we ever do in the first.

Family

Ceilidh’s family relationships are complex, mainly due to the tininess of her home village (so she’s related to pretty much everyone) and her immediate family’s grinding poverty. Her beloved father dies when she is young, and so her mother, her, and her sister are forced to fend for themselves. And it does not go well at all.

Mam (Mary O’Malley)

When the first book starts, Mary has been backed into a financial corner. She and her family are members of the cottier class, a kind of tenant farmer. But when the crops fail too many times in a row, Mary knows that Maeve in particular probably won’t survive for too much longer. As a result, Mary surveys her valuables and essentially “sells” one of them—Ceilidh—for more food for all of them.

For the time, Mary’s actions are justifiable and even kind. Giving up Ceilidh to the Barnes family means her elder daughter will never starve. And it also means that the meager rations she, Maeve, and Ceilidh have been living on can instead be split among two people. Furthermore, a connection to the Barnes family means occasional meals or at least allowances to be late with the rent. Jack Barnes is already Mary’s cousin. But handing over Ceilidh strengthens that.

When we finally meet her in Book Two, Mary is a doting grandmother but still starving, giving her share to her grandsons even if that means it could eventually kill her.

Maeve O’Malley Barnes

With Maeve, things are complicated. But that’s understandable. Much like in the Old Testament story of Rachel and Leah, it’s Maeve who’s originally pledged to Johnny. But things go south when the family goes through yet another bad winter. And Johnny doesn’t want to wait for what at the time was called ‘wifely duties’.

Mary is cognizant enough of Maeve’s ill health to offer up Ceilidh instead. Ceilidh is about twenty, an old maid pretty much anywhere. Maeve is fifteen, and technically old enough to wed. After Ceilidh flees Ballyvaughan, Johnny and Maeve take up anyway. And when Ceilidh, Jake, Shannon, and Devon go to Ballyvaughan in the third book, Ceilidh discovers Maeve is living in her cottage. Ceilidh’s cottage, that is.

Yep, like they say on Facebook, “it’s complicated”.

People Ceilidh Doesn’t Like

While technically Johnny Barnes should be here, he belongs in the next section. These people aren’t necessarily enemies, per se. But they’re not pals with Ceilidh all the same.

Margery Cabot Edwards

Like in many wealthy American households of the time, it’s the lady of the house who is in charge of the servants. Mrs. Lowell is fair and smart, running her house like a business. Margery Cabot Edwards, on the other hand, is a snobby, spoiled rich girl, more than happy to treat all of her household help like dirt. But her maltreatment is a catalyst to get Ceilidh to find work elsewhere, with the Lowells.

Gerald Price

The lesser of the two louts working for the Lowell House, Gerald is a sexist, but that was par for the course at the time. This stable hand is a bit too nosy for his own good, but otherwise he and Ceilidh mainly stay out of each other’s way. Ceilidh’s semi-revenge is to hire Gerald in Book Three.

Gerald has his name because I’ve been in more than one working situation where a guy named Jerry was just the biggest jerk. My apologies to those who love people named Jerry (and hey, how about Jerry O’Connell?)! But I will often name a jerk in my writing Jerry, and that’s the case in the Time Addicts trilogy as well.

Donald Smith

This character got his name due to the election of the 45th president, a person who has never impressed me.

In the books, Donald is the gardener to not only the Edwards and Lowell Houses, but really to all or most of the Boston Brahmins. Talented and hard-working, he turns that on its head and uses his good qualities to get away with a lot. As a result, he has a girlfriend in nearly every house he works in, and most if not all of those relationships are sexual in nature.

With Ceilidh, he’s rough and nasty. Jealous of her education and her position with Devon, he’s also sexually attracted to her. He calls her Duchess, and he’s not trying to be flattering.

Donald’s comeuppance happens in Book Three (if you’ve only read the first two, trust me, it’s coming), and I spent a lot of time trying to come up with what would punish him the most. Did I succeed? You tell me.

Romantic Relationships

Johnny Barnes

The first time we see Johnny, he’s attacking Ceilidh for having the audacity to try to bring him home after he’s been on a multi-day bender. Most women of the time would have accepted his treatment, although a lot of Irish villages and towns would have held a shivaree.

While Johnny’s behavior is far from defensible, some of it stems from marrying the wrong sister. In some small way, he loves Maeve, but he doesn’t treat her much better than he does Ceilidh. But at least with Maeve, he ostensibly provides care for her and their sons. Well, kinda.

Jacob Radford

Their meeting is far from auspicious, as they first see each other at the Charles Street Jail, on opposite sides of bars. But there is something about Jake. Originally, he’s just her handsome, pleasant, polite suitor. And when he learns the truth of her marital status (covered in her quote, above), he’s all set to do the honorable thing and bow out. But when he learns why she’s in America, he takes up her cause, and is a large part of proving her case in the annulment hearing.

When they wed, he reveals real heat under his manners and Southern charm, and their sex life is certainly more active and consensual than it was for a lot of women at the time. But the time they truly grow close is when he reveals his secrets to her about his service in the Civil War. And when both of them see a possible future for themselves, he includes her in the decision-making, treating her far more like an equal than most husbands did in the 1870s and 1880s.

Conflict and Turning Point

Ceilidh experiences several turning points within the series, and the first one happens in the first scene. Wwhen the series starts, it’s 1876. In this time period, most women would have accepted abuse as their lot in life. But not Ceilidh. She’s not going to continue pretending everything is fine.

In the second book, I tackle more of her marriage to Johnny. The abuse is just the cherry on a nasty sundae.

Without giving away too many spoilers, Ceilidh changes with major upheavals in her life. This is whether they’re from the start or end of relationships, or from external factors like trouble with the law. And, of course, the main change in her life is by aliens.

Continuity/Easter Eggs

Second Harrison Gray Otis House, Mount Vernon St., Boston
                                                                                               Ceilidh lives in two separate houses when she gets to the states. The first is at 85 Mount Vernon Street (the second Harrison Gray Otis House, pictured above). The other one is at 60 Beacon Street. Both are on Beacon Hill in Boston, and are exceptionally expensive properties.

Future Plans for Ceilidh O’Malley

I don’t necessarily have a lot of plans for Ceilidh, because I have already finished the trilogy. But people love her, and I suspect her early life or her future could be of interest to readers. So, I may not have seen the last of her.

Ceilidh O’Malley: Takeaways

For a character whose first appearance is a beating, Ceilidh O’Malley grows to become a somewhat middle class. She grows to become a certainly respectable member of Boston society.

And she ends up with powerful friends, a great love, and a promising future. Her happy ending is the kind any of us would wish for.

Ceilidh O’Malley — a character who turns around completely.

Want More of Ceilidh O’Malley?

If Ceilidh resonates with you, then check out my other articles about Ceilidh, Johnny, Devon, Frances, Shannon and everyone else as they work to prevent a temporally jacked-up genocide.

Character Reviews:

Self-Review: The Real Hub of the Universe
Self-Review: The Real Heart of the Universe
and Self-Review: The Real Hope of the Universe

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Writing Needs Editing Part 2

Published by Janet Gershen-Siegel on August 22, 2024

Writing and Editing Part 2

For editing part 2 let’s get past acting like your own biggest fan, like we did in Editing Part 1. Time to get out the scissors. Or the weedwhacker.

More Editing

Let’s go to editing Part 2!

So last time, we looked at some general issues surrounding editing. Although the process may seem daunting, it still must be done. For this post, I will assume you have done the tasks outlined in the first part.

If not, then this methodology will still work. But I think you’ll find you will need to do the preliminary steps anyway. Hence you might as well get them done now. Then it’s on to Editing Part 2.

Spell Check

Maybe it sounds dumb. Perhaps it’s obvious. But you still need to run a spell checker. Don’t have one? Then try a free spell checker online. But if you have a spellchecker in your application, use it.

Understand that certain typos will be a problem. If you type ‘that’ for ‘this’, it will not show up, as those are both real words. Hence your spellchecker provides only a preliminary solution. Have the program ignore names, in order to eliminate them from contention.

Find and Replace

Your find feature is a godsend; use it! Furthermore, if you use names which might have typical typos, try searching for them with ctrl-F. For example, the main character in my 2015 NaNoWriMo novel had the name of Marnie. Hence I searched for the word ‘Marine’. But I made sure to check on usage before I hit ‘replace’.

This feature also works when you change a character’s name.

Find and Count

Do you overuse some expressions? Repetitive language isn’t bad. But too much of it is dull. Consider usage, and adjust repeated sentences accordingly.

That Attack

My good friend D. R. Perry taught me this one, and I love it.  Have your program count how often you use the word ‘that’. Of course, it’s not a bad word outright. But overusing anything can be dull. By counting this particular word, you get a handle on your use of certain idiomatic phrases. E. g. ‘he thought that’, ‘she said that’, ‘they felt that that was funny’.

In all three of these instances, the word ‘that’ can be cut without losing any sense.

Synonym Sweep

This time, search for the word ‘very’. As with ‘that’, the word is perfectly fine, despite what Stephen King says. However, he is right (as was Robin Williams in Dead Poets Society) insofar as it’s a not so precise use of language. What’s better: ‘very big’ or ‘gigantic’? For a children’s book, probably the former. For any other kind of book, it may be the latter.

If you can clip the adverb and instead enhance the adjective with a better synonym, your writing will be more interesting. Stay away from obscure adjectives (e. g. ‘Brobdingnagian’). Also, your characters can use all the adverbs they like when speaking. But try to cut them in your scene setting, your transitions, and your exposition.

That’s the first half of Editing Part 2. Now onto the second half.

Fat Cutter

You’ve been doing this all along, with ‘that attack’ and ‘synonym sweep’. The idea is to excise unnecessary words. Unlike the former two methods, this one will require some reading. Up until now, everything has been done programmatically. Now you need to do some digging. But first check how long your chapters are.

There is no hard and fast rule for chapter length, but if all of your chapters are 20 – 35 pages and one is 63, then that one might have some fat you can cut. Or maybe you can just split it into two or even three chapters.

Consider descriptive text and exposition. You need it, but how long does it have to be? Familiar places in the current time period probably just need a few words: downtown Detroit, the Great Barrier Reef, etc. Or familiar places in the past need more but can still be pretty spare, such as Victorian-era London, or ancient Rome during Claudius Caesar’s reign.

Familiar places in the future need more but you can build on today: 2023 Berlin maybe has taller buildings, 3116 Istanbul might be enclosed in a geodesic dome. Unfamiliar places will need more lavish attention to detail. But metaphors and similes are your friends. The new planet might be as big as Saturn but without rings, and smell like wet dog.

Scene Shifts and Plot Changes

These are much bigger and will take up a lot more of your time. Before you do either, you might want to consider whether your story can be understood by beta readers without doing either. If so, then keep this in mind (maybe take some notes) but don’t do it. See what beta readers say. Maybe you won’t need to make such drastic changes at all.

Final Read-Through Before Betas

Give it one last read-through. Look for the right words in the wrong places (e. g. a typo which turned out to be a correctly spelled word, so spellchecker missed it). Look for sense and ease of understanding. Make sure your plot makes sense.

Then kiss your manuscript good-bye (for the time being) and send it off to beta readers.

Post-Beta Readings and Editing Part 2

After betas, Editing Part 2 should be followed by a kind of Editing Part 3. Consider your betas’ advice. You don’t need to take it all, but listen with an open mind. Do one last read-through and then send your work to a professional editor, if you can afford one.

Why should you, if you’ve done all this? Because you (or I) may have missed something. In addition, all this preliminary work was free. Your edited work will come back a lot faster and cleaner.

Then, and only then, can you consider querying.
Editing Part 2—yep, there was a part 1, as well.

Want More on Beta Reading and Editing?

If you want more on beta reading and editing, check out the following posts:

Beta Reading:

Editing:

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Character Review – Dez HunterCharacter Review, Josie James, Greg Shapiro, Jazminder Parikh, MD, Johnny Barnes, Dalton Farouk, Peri Martin, Carmen D’Angelo, MD, Dr. Devon Grace, Tommy 2000, Lex Feldman, Velexio, Character Reviews are Coming, Ixalla, Elise Jeffries, MD, Frances Miller Ashford, Marnie Shapiro, Ceilidh O’Malley, Dr. Mei-Lin Quan, Trixie LaRue, Tathrelle, Nell Murphy, Craig Firenze, Adger, Astrid Hennigsen, Benjamin Chase, Bobby/Jerry Brodie, Cyndi Mendez, Dez Hunter, Eileen Bragin, Eleanor Braverman, Judge John Lowell, Keisha Darnell, Minka Lopez, Nell Murphy, Noah Braverman, Olga Nicolaev, Peter Ray, Rachel Gifford, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Sally Bowles/TSTO Tiles, Shannon Duffy, Student #17, Tad Lewis, Ginny Carey, TSTITO, Selkhet 3000, complex evil characters, Emma 1000, They Say This is the One, Elston Young, Trinity Hawthorne, Character Creation

Character Review – Dez Hunter

Published by Janet Gershen-Siegel on November 21, 2023

Consider Dez Hunter, One of My Original Characters

So, who is Dez Hunter?

Kitty and Mink were easy and I thought of them almost immediately. But then I needed a boyfriend for Kitty.

Where Did Dez Hunter Come From?

I first decided that Kitty’s boyfriend would be a kind of bad boy. So, Dez comes with the trappings—skateboard, attitude, and a sparse goatee. Then, when I was developing his father in particular, I realized that he and his father would not get along. This works to keep him where he is—and get Dad out of the picture.

The Past is Prologue — Backstory for Dez Hunter

The class bad boy is growing up in a working class home, his father on a construction crew, working as a supervisor. His mother is a diabetic. I haven’t decided if she was working outside the home. But either way, they could afford some discretionary spending.

Much like Kitty, he can’t be bothered to do class work. So when he and Kitty start dating, he gets in on Mink doing his homework. It’s probably the only way he’ll pass History.

At the start of the book, he’s sent to the principal’s office—and he makes it clear that this is not going to be his first detention.

Was he kicked out of his home before the power blew? Or did he leave more or less voluntarily? I confess even I’m not 100% certain.

Description

I like Dylan O’Brien from The Maze Runner. But I’m not 100% sold on him and could potentially be persuaded to choose another young actor for this look. For one thing, he’s probably already too old.

Purpose/Theme/Motivation

Dez provides two things that the other characters need for their very survival. The first is the air rifle (it’s a .22). Without it, things would have gotten a lot more desperate, a lot more quickly. Craig is the one who really knows how to use it. But he wouldn’t have one in the first place without Dez.

The other gets us heavily into spoiler territory. So, let’s just say that Dez’s physical strength become vital at just the right moment.

Quotes {Craig and Dez are talking; Craig speaks first}

“My pappy was sharp as a tack to the end. It is possible.” Craig looked at the mess of electronics skeptically. “When I was younger than you, I used to take stuff apart all the time. My momma didn’t know what to do with me. I’d take apart the TV remote, put it back together, stuff like that. Used to have pieces left over. It’s a big part of why I went into engineering. And I went into civil on account of a hankering to build bridges. The Army paid my way. Then I was introduced to a guy who worked at NASA. That’s more or less how I ended up there after retiring early from the Army. You got plans?”

“Do they matter?”

“You tell me.”

“I guess they do. I don’t know. Dad was pushing me to go to college or he’d put me in his construction crew.”

“Wait, did your parents leave without you?”

Relationships

Like everyone else in Mettle, Dez has a relationship of some sort with everyone. But these two are his closest relationships.

Dez and Kitty

Of course Kitty would have a boyfriend. But they don’t treat each other well at all. They aren’t truly together due to any real affection between them. Rather, for her, it’s being with a bad boy. And for him, it’s being with the hottest girl in the school. But when all is said and done, they really don’t have anything in common.

When she goes to seek FEMA aid, it’s got to be a relief for him.

Dez and Mink

I have kind of flirted with an idea of them getting together. But I really only hint at it. So, I leave it to the reader’s imagination. So, have at it!

Conflict and Turning Point

For Dez, the conflict and the turning point are the same as they are for the other characters in Mettle. When the power goes out, he becomes unmoored. But when his father becomes somewhat unhinged, Dez has to get out. So, he and Kitty go to Mink’s.

But this also means leaving his sick mother. With no power and no way to restore it, a diabetic like her is not going to survive. To Dez’s credit, at least he realizes this. But it’s still a bitter pill to swallow.

Continuity/Easter Eggs

He doesn’t really have any continuity with any other storylines. Dez exists on his own, more or less.

Future Plans

He will definitely show up in the prequel!

Dez Hunter: Takeaways

Dez almost fancies himself James Dean—if he knew who James Dean was, that is. And the events of Mettle give this rebel a good cause.

Dez Hunter — a character who gets a chance to shine.

Want More of Mettle?

If Mettle resonates with you, then check out my other articles about how changes in the periodic table nearly kill us all.

Character Reviews: Mettle

The Mettle Universe
Self Review: Mettle

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Pocket Conflicts in Writing

Published by Janet Gershen-Siegel on October 5, 2023

What are Pocket Conflicts?

So, pocket conflicts are the kinds of conflicts which are tiny. They aren’t wars and they don’t lead to divorce or a firing. Instead, they are more about the speed of “who moved my cheese?”

Hence they are kind of trivial, yet they can add a lot of annoyance into anyone’s life. And they can add color and interest to your characters, too.

Sibling Rivalry

Because the sibling relationship is often fraught with conflict, it can be the perfect vehicle for these types of conflicts. And if you have ever seen two children in the back of a car arguing about who last touched whom (or if you have ever been either of those children), or who last sat in front, then you know exactly what I am talking about.

And sibling rivalry does not necessarily go away when the siblings have grown up. Old resentments can crop up even when going through a deceased parent’s things. And the ‘kids’ might even be in their sixties by then.

Work Relationships

Pocket conflicts abound at work. And it’s not just cheese moving. What happens when someone moves somebody else’s desk? Or maybe someone was passed over for a promotion. Furthermore, colleagues can resent when a person has a different schedule if they don’t know why.

If a parent has to drop their children off at daycare, and has permission to do so, then there’s every possibility that employee will, on occasion, be late. And that can create a conflict with that person’s coworkers if the boss doesn’t explain things properly.

And let’s not even get started with the kinds of conflicts that come from being vaccinated—or not.

Pocket Conflicts: Takeaways

Get your characters out of their comfort zones, but only a little bit. Because sometimes the small pebble in your shoe can hold your thoughts more than the metaphorical gunshot wound to your gut. And your characters should be no different, if you want them to seem real.

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Character Review — Noah BravermanCharacter Review, Josie James, Greg Shapiro, Jazminder Parikh, MD, Johnny Barnes, Dalton Farouk, Peri Martin, Carmen D’Angelo, MD, Dr. Devon Grace, Tommy 2000, Lex Feldman, Velexio, Character Reviews are Coming, Ixalla, Elise Jeffries, MD, Frances Miller Ashford, Marnie Shapiro, Ceilidh O’Malley, Dr. Mei-Lin Quan, Trixie LaRue, Tathrelle, Nell Murphy, Craig Firenze, Adger, Astrid Hennigsen, Benjamin Chase, Bobby/Jerry Brodie, Cyndi Mendez, Dez Hunter, Eileen Bragin, Eleanor Braverman, Judge John Lowell, Keisha Darnell, Minka Lopez, Nell Murphy, Noah Braverman, Olga Nicolaev, Peter Ray, Rachel Gifford, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Sally Bowles/TSTO Tiles, Shannon Duffy, Student #17, Tad Lewis, Ginny Carey, TSTITO, Selkhet 3000, complex evil characters, Emma 1000, They Say This is the One, Elston Young, Trinity Hawthorne, Character Creation

Character Review — Noah Braverman

Published by Janet Gershen-Siegel on August 1, 2023

Consider Noah Braverman, One of My Original Characters

Who is Noah Braverman?

Noah Braverman is a linchpin character in Mettle. But he was downgraded from leading man status in favor of Craig Firenze.

Where Did Noah Braverman Come From?

Noah (like Josie James in the Time Addicts trilogy) actually lives in my house. Because Mettle takes place in my neighborhood, what better place but the one I know the best?

The Past is Prologue — Backstory for Noah Braverman

Noah has the best defined family in all of Mettle. Apart from Craig and Jeannie, and Nell with Gran, he is the only person who the reader ever sees with a family member.

Description

The only person I have ever seen for Noah is the actor David Schwimmer. In part, it’s the air of intelligence. Noah is no dope, even though he’s not a doctor like Elise Jeffries or Mei-Lin Quan, and he’s not a PhD like his mother, Eleanor.

It is also because I try to pair characters with actors who are similar in terms of background. I wanted only a Jewish actor to play this Jewish character.

And, it’s also because of Schwimmer’s hangdog look, which he should probably just patent already.

Purpose/Theme/Motivation

Noah doesn’t have the last name of Braverman by accident, of course. But his bravery is not based on anything like battle skills or the like.

Rather, it is based on trust. Without knowing much about most of the other characters, Noah takes in Craig and gets to know and truly love and appreciate people he would never normally run into, like Nell Murphy, Minka Lopez, and Dez Hunter.

In fact, he is one of the reasons why the story seems to not quite get started until chapter 7 or so. I needed for Noah to know Craig at least a little bit, for why would he take in a stranger to live with him, particularly while people are going nuts?

Quotes {the Power Outage is Happening; He is Taking Craig to Brighton}

Noah did a fast three-point turn, getting the car onto Cambridge Street and abandoning Storrow Drive altogether. He gunned the engine, running red lights and weaving in and out of traffic. “Sorry for the white-knuckle ride.”

“That’s fine. You’re handy with the jalopy.”

“I learned how to drive in this car. Hang on.”

Noah turned in front of St. Botolph’s where some flickering lights were still on. But other lights were going out all over the rest of the area. He gunned it down Adams, passing a drug store and a taco place before the car sputtered to a halt and died across the street from the organic market.

Noah and Craig got out. “This way,” Noah said, “Go here and then straight for a while. It’s a bit downhill, then left on Hancock, number three oh one if you can see anything. If you can’t, the house has smooth pillars in front.”

The two men strode quickly, Craig holding the carryon and Noah holding the briefcase. One by one, lights in the houses started going out. Striding turned into jogging and then full-blown running as they turned onto Hancock and all the lights went out and even ambient car noises went silent.

Relationships

Much like any other character, Noah has interactions with the main cast, but he also has pointed and more important ones with a select few.

Noah and Elise

Best pals for years, he has a bit of thing for her but she doesn’t really reciprocate. It’s not that she doesn’t care. It’s more that she just plain does not feel a spark with him.

But they can clown around and kid each other, and they do a lot of that. Elise is also pretty much the only person who Noah knows by name in his neighborhood, apart from the people he lives with.

And speaking of them…

Noah and Olga

Olga Nicolaev is the caregiver for Noah’s mother, and she has a semi-thankless job as Eleanor slips deeper and deeper into Alzheimer’s.

Noah involves Olga in care decisions about Eleanor and trusts (there’s that word again) her wise counsel. And this is despite the fact that Olga has major issues with English.

Yet when the story starts, and throughout it, she refers to him as Mr. Braverman whereas he calls her by her first name. Now, that is pretty much something you would expect in a relationship between and employer and employee, but still!

Considering the intimacy of their lives together (nothing romantic), you would think he would insist on her calling him Noah.

But he never gets a chance to.

Noah and Eleanor

An exceptionally devoted son, Noah has never actually left home. Rather, when his father died and his mother became ill, the best response was to simply stay.

However, when the story starts, he is getting a little tired of Eleanor continually asking about his late father. She doesn’t know any better, of course. And he does have a great deal of patience. But his reservoirs of it are not without limit.

Conflict and Turning Point

Noah’s turning points are virtually the same as those for the other characters in the story. When it seems as if the entire world has gone mad, he has but one purpose—to get home. There is nothing else he can think about.

And this should follow for a character who is, in part, defined by family and home.

Continuity/Easter Eggs

Noah isn’t really the one with the Easter egg; it’s his mother, whose maiden name is Shapiro.

Future Plans for Noah Braverman

I do not have any future plans for him, but he will show up in the prequel, as will the rest of the cast.

Noah Braverman: Takeaways

Noah Braverman is a somewhat different kind of hero, sort of a hero as homebody, if you will. While Craig turned out to be the lead, it’s Noah who holds the story together.

Mettle would fall apart without him.

Noah Braverman — the character who brings everyone together.

Want More of Noah Braverman and the Rest of Mettle?

If Mettle resonates with you, then check out my other articles about how changes in the periodic table nearly kill us all.

Character Reviews: Mettle

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How to Make Main Characters

Published by Janet Gershen-Siegel on April 6, 2023

Let’s look at how to create main characters.

Main Characters, the Lifeblood of any Story

Of course you have an MC, sometimes called a protagonist. Without one, then your book or short story is … what, exactly? A travelogue, perhaps. Or maybe it’s an instruction manual. Or maybe it’s just a mishmash. Because with no chief character, what are you doing, anyway?

Notice I Didn’t Say There Were No Characters

A bunch of characters can be lovely. But an utter lack of focus isn’t just odd. It’s also likely to be something that a reader would not like. The reader may be wondering—who is it I’m supposed to root for, anyway?

When that is not clear, it creates confusion. This kind of confusion gets readers to not finish. And it also gets publishers and agents to not want to pick it up. Therefore, you will need to create a focus and a point of view.

The Single Focus Character

In The Enigman Cave, Marnie Shapiro is such a singular focus that I felt I could not show anything ‘on screen’ unless she saw it. I even ended up tying myself in some knots to make certain that she “saw” something on the screen so I could include it.

But in The Real Hub of the Universe, while Ceilidh is the single focus character, I wasn’t as strict.

The Dual Mains

Or maybe I should refer to them as dueling mains? In the first Obolonk trilogy, Peri Martin is the main, but Tommy 2000 gives her something of a run for her money. We never really get inside Tommy’s head. But he’s there, in nearly every scene. He would have made for a fascinating POV character. But I preferred Peri, and I still do.

And unlike The Enigman Cave, there were a few moments where Peri is just not with it. Yet I still felt comfortable including it on screen.

Multiple Main Characters

Welcome to the Mettle Universe, where there are multiple points of view. The character who I showcase the most is Craig Firenze. He has the most chapters devoted to him—even though I had originally thought of Noah Braverman as the MC. But the characters, as they so often do, had other plans.

The easiest way to keep it all straight is what I did. That is, each chapter was for a different character’s point of view. For example, in more than one chapter, we’re inside Nell Murphy‘s head. And so, by definition, the italicized thoughts can only be hers. And, I don’t get into anyone else’s head. In order to be able to do that, the current chapter would have to end.

In some ways, a multitude of main characters meant that I needed to find a purpose for all of them. Therefore, for Mink’s only chapter, I get to tell what happened when she was separated from the rest of the group. It’s the only occasion that I had to convey that.

Getting into Olga Nicolaev’s point of view was also fun and key, because she goes through the story sounding like an illiterate most of the time. But the reality is, she’s rather sharp.

Perhaps the toughest POV to get into was Eleanor’s. I had to show not only her thoughts, but also how they jumbled and coalesced into, eventually, a form of coherence. This made her more of a main-ish character than she would have been. Otherwise, she’s just a burden on the group.

Main But Not Quite So Main After All

Within Mettle, the people with the most POV chapters are the true main characters. These are essentially Craig, Noah, Nell, Elise, and possibly Mei-Lin (she kind of straddles the line). But this group does not include Eleanor or Mink, as they each only have the one point of view chapter apiece. Dez and Olga kind of also straddle the line. And as for Kitty, she never gets a POV chapter.

Although I will most likely write one for her when I write the prequel for this one.

Hanging Back With Main Characters

How far into characters’ heads are you willing to go?

In Untrustworthy, I refer to Tathrelle and Ixalla’s thoughts, but I never actually show them on screen. Peri was originally like that, but I have decided I prefer being deeper in her head. Same with Josie. But with Marnie, I never get that far into her head. With Ceilidh, I do, but like with Peri it was because I changed my mind and opted for a more intimate relationship.

With the multiple POV characters of Mettle, I held back. But that’s also a choice for clarity’s sake. With so many people, getting into heads would mean that readers would not necessarily immediately realize whose head they were in.

Details and Whatnot

You do not have to go overboard with details. In fact, in the Twilight books, there’s a conscious effort not to overly describe Bella Swan. Why? Because that way, just about any girl can picture herself in Bella’s shoes. This was a big part of the success of that series.

Should you do that? Or should you describe every nuance of your main characters? There is more than one school of thought. What it all boils down to is—you do you.

But make sure that your descriptions and inner voices have a meaning and a purpose to the overall story line. Telling your readers that your MC has split ends is probably too much. Unless, of course, that turns into some sort of a plot point.

And for gosh sake’s, don’t just describe people of color. This gives forth an extremely strong impression that you feel your POC characters are different and, perhaps, do not quite belong. Keeping white as the default is not a good look, for either you or your characters, main or otherwise.

Anchor your prose with main characters who feel real to your readers.

And never forget to have fun with it!

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Character Review — Johnny BarnesCharacter Review, Josie James, Greg Shapiro, Jazminder Parikh, MD, Johnny Barnes, Dalton Farouk, Peri Martin, Carmen D’Angelo, MD, Dr. Devon Grace, Tommy 2000, Lex Feldman, Velexio, Character Reviews are Coming, Ixalla, Elise Jeffries, MD, Frances Miller Ashford, Marnie Shapiro, Ceilidh O’Malley, Dr. Mei-Lin Quan, Trixie LaRue, Tathrelle, Nell Murphy, Craig Firenze, Adger, Astrid Hennigsen, Benjamin Chase, Bobby/Jerry Brodie, Cyndi Mendez, Dez Hunter, Eileen Bragin, Eleanor Braverman, Judge John Lowell, Keisha Darnell, Minka Lopez, Nell Murphy, Noah Braverman, Olga Nicolaev, Peter Ray, Rachel Gifford, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Sally Bowles/TSTO Tiles, Shannon Duffy, Student #17, Tad Lewis, Ginny Carey, TSTITO, Selkhet 3000, complex evil characters, Emma 1000, They Say This is the One, Elston Young, Trinity Hawthorne, Character Creation

Character Review — Johnny Barnes

Published by Janet Gershen-Siegel on March 7, 2023

Consider Johnny Barnes, One of My Original Characters

Who is Johnny Barnes? What connection does he have to the Real Hub Universe?

Every story needs some sort of a villain. Johnny fills the bill a little too well.

Where Did Johnny Barnes Come From?

I wanted to create a character who would be hard to redeem. He would be uncultured, uncouth, and selfish. Complicating matters, he would be one of the sons of the richest man in Ballyvaughan.

The Past is Prologue — Backstory for Johnny Barnes

So, the Barnes family has five sons: Christopher, Paul, Alfred, Johnny, and Arthur.

Christopher, the heir, marries the respectable Harriet, who he meets in Scotland. They have a daughter, Darragh. Paul goes into the church, and is ordained earlier than he is supposed to be. But money talks, so no one questions that.

Alfred is one of Ryan O’Malley’s star pupils, the other being Ceilidh herself. Alfred is probably gay, and goes to the university at Galway. Arthur, something of a wastrel, ends up in the army. He even fights a native uprising in Malaya.

And then there’s Johnny.

He does not have the inheritance or the calling. And he’s not bright enough to rival Alfred. Not even close. And while he’s just as much of a ne’er do well as Arthur, he isn’t even perceptive enough to go into the military.

So, he drifts. Starting off in rough carpentry, Johnny has no talent for it. Jack (the patriarch) and Christopher eventually give Johnny his own patch of land to work. The bottom line is, he’s not much better in status than the cottiers in Ballyvaughan.

Description

Rough, dark, and unkempt, I think of Oliver Reed in the movie, Oliver! Reed was a difficult person all around, and died relatively young. He wasted his life and his talent.

So, in a lot of ways, he and Johnny are like two peas in a pod.

Purpose/Theme/Motivation

Because they have no other use for Johnny, and Mary O’Malley needs to stay in the village, Jack and Mary come up with a plan. They’ll marry Maeve to Johnny. So, this should have worked out. In particular, he and Maeve actually like each other.

But the reason it doesn’t at first is because of one person — Nora Barnes.

Dying of cancer, Nora wants another grandchild. Harriet is forbidden from having another child, due to her health. Although Ceilidh doesn’t necessarily believe this. But either way, Harriet and Christopher are out of the picture. The other sons are unavailable for some reason or another.

Maeve is still very young and scrawny and has not yet gone through menarche.

As a result, Jack, Mary, and Nora turn to Ceilidh.

Quotes (in the Prequel, Johnny and Ceilidh are Left Alone for the First Time)

Johnny got up and came closer. “Now, Ceilidh, ya can do this in a way that’s at least kinda pleasant—although I don’t think girls like this stuff much, not even Maeve—or it can be rough an’ unpleasant. So, ya should tell me, Ceilidh, what’s it gonna be?”

She bit her lower lip and stared at him, looking into his eyes, a dark brown that was almost black. I see naught but coldness and cruelty there. I don’t know what you see in Maeve, or she sees in you, but at least you’re suited for one another.

She shut her eyes for a second. I curse every day of hunger, every moment that made it harder for Maeve to get taller and stronger. She sniffled a little. I should have given her more of my portion. I should have worked harder. Ceilidh trembled. I should have sold the last of the books. I should have—

“Well?” Johnny came closer and breathed on her neck, making the hairs stand up. “Like I said, this could be kinda pleasant, at least for me. An’ if I like it, I’ll be more agreeable ta ya an’ your Mam an’ Maeve, too.” With a rough, paw-like hand, he clumsily caressed her cheek. “Harriet’s a good girl, come from a fine family. An’ ya’re not neither o’ those things. But dress ya up in good things, like silk an’ lace an’ all that, an ya could pretend ta be. No one would ever need ta know ya came from dirt.”

Relationships

Johnny is a brute at the best of times. His relationships often reflect this.

Maeve O’Malley

He has fun with Maeve, who is smitten with him. I have toyed with the idea of him being developmentally disabled. But I think Maeve (who is smarter than she behaves) would not be so taken with him if he was. In the main books, he is abusive to her. But he is also a decent father, particularly for the time.

Ceilidh O’Malley

Scared of him and disgusted by him, Ceilidh is appalled when the topic of switching the bride is brought up. But in a small way, she can thank him, for he got her to leave Ballyvaughan.

Nora Barnes

Since Nora rules with an iron fist, Johnny is no exception. She disdains him and often treats him the same way she treats many of the cottiers — like something to wipe off her shoes.

Her only interest in him, at the end of her life, is as a means to an end. But that’s her interest in virtually everyone else as well.

Johnny and the Rest of the Barnes Family

Apart from his BFF Arthur, no one in the Barnes family is terribly impressed with Johnny. Harriet is clearly uncomfortable with him. Jack is disappointed. Christopher and Paul essentially order him around. But to be fair, they order just about everyone out.

Conflict and Turning Point

Johnny’s real turning point is twofold. One piece is the initial turning point where Ceilidh leaves Ballyvaughan—and him. He tells everyone in the village that she’s died, lost at sea. But she sends money, and he has no problem intercepting it or spending it.

His second turning point is when she returns to Ballyvaughan a few years later, with Jake Radford and Devon Grace. Her return makes his story of her death fall like a house of cards. Much like money changes Ceilidh’s circumstances, it also changes his. But at least he can be honest about things.

Continuity/Easter Eggs

Johnny Barnes doesn’t really have any continuity, and there are no connections or Easter Eggs when it comes to him.

Future Plans

I have no real future plans for him. He’s an unpleasant character, meant for really just one purpose.

Johnny Barnes: Takeaways

Like Ceilidh’s hard early life, Johnny is a symbol of how harsh the world really was, particularly for poor women. As such, he has nearly nothing to recommend him.

Johnny Barnes is more than the reason why she leaves Ireland.

Want More of Johnny Barnes?

If Johnny resonates with you (or he makes your skin crawl), then check out my other articles about him, Ceilidh, Johnny, Devon, Frances, Shannon, and everyone else as they work to prevent a temporally jacked-up genocide.

Character Reviews:

Self-Review: The Real Hub of the Universe
Self-Review: The Real Heart of the Universe
and Self-Review: The Real Hope of the Universe

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Character Review — Greg ShapiroCharacter Review, Josie James, Greg Shapiro, Jazminder Parikh, MD, Johnny Barnes, Dalton Farouk, Peri Martin, Carmen D’Angelo, MD, Dr. Devon Grace, Tommy 2000, Lex Feldman, Velexio, Character Reviews are Coming, Ixalla, Elise Jeffries, MD, Frances Miller Ashford, Marnie Shapiro, Ceilidh O’Malley, Dr. Mei-Lin Quan, Trixie LaRue, Tathrelle, Nell Murphy, Craig Firenze, Adger, Astrid Hennigsen, Benjamin Chase, Bobby/Jerry Brodie, Cyndi Mendez, Dez Hunter, Eileen Bragin, Eleanor Braverman, Judge John Lowell, Keisha Darnell, Minka Lopez, Nell Murphy, Noah Braverman, Olga Nicolaev, Peter Ray, Rachel Gifford, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Sally Bowles/TSTO Tiles, Shannon Duffy, Student #17, Tad Lewis, Ginny Carey, TSTITO, Selkhet 3000, complex evil characters, Emma 1000, They Say This is the One, Elston Young, Trinity Hawthorne, Character Creation

Character Review — Greg Shapiro

Published by Janet Gershen-Siegel on February 28, 2023

Consider Greg Shapiro, One of My Original Characters

Who is Greg Shapiro?

I needed to have someone perform research for The Obolonk Murders. Once I started to create him, Greg turned into, essentially, Peri’s work BFF.

Where Did Greg Shapiro Come From?

The concept of a “work husband” is nothing new, although the terminology may be. Greg is quite easily, Peri Martin‘s work pal, her lunch buddy, and all that. And until Tommy comes around, he is one of the only people who she will ever confide in.

The Past is Prologue — Backstory for Greg Shapiro

Kinda short and losing his hair, Greg is just a regular guy from what used to be called Hamden, Connecticut. He’s unassuming and self-deprecating to a fault.

Description

I am a bit conflicted about his look. He could be a bit taller and darker, like the late Bruno Kirby. Or a bit fairer, like Jason Isaacs. I prefer to “cast” Jewish characters with Jewish actors whenever I can. But I do have to admit that it was Kirby I was originally thinking of when I started writing the character.

Purpose/Theme/Motivation

Unlike cops you would normally see in a film or on TV, Greg isn’t much for guns and chases. Rather, he’s a researcher. For all the clichés about someone not wanting to be a pencil pusher, that would likely be his dream job.

Quotes (Greg and Peri are discussing Selkhet 3000 and Dr. Tinerrian)

“Martin, haven’t you ever liked anyone who didn’t like you back?” She nodded, so he added, “Or get this: haven’t you ever loved someone who did not love you back?”

Peri was silent as she tried to figure out how to answer him. Her eyes were filling up, fast, and then they were brimming and threatening to spill over, a situation as precarious as the stacks of books on the library’s sole table. Her lower jaw trembled a bit, too. She swallowed a few times, in an effort to keep her response an even one. But her voice cracked. “I, well, yeah.”

“Oh, damn, I’m sorry. I put my big foot in it this time, eh? It was Hollis, right?”

“Yeah,” she managed to squeak out.

“Well, he was a total mook and a jerk and all of that, anything you want to call him, for being that way. You are rough around the edges and no one’s ever going to invite you to a ball at the Junior League on Dione. But my considered opinion, Detective Sergeant Peri Martin, is that you did not deserve to be treated that way. You did not deserve to be made to feel like this. I am not saying that you shouldn’t feel bad about Hollis being hit by a hot gun. The illegal ones are particularly nasty—you know this. And I understand that losing a partner is just a terrible thing for any cop to have to go through. And please don’t think I’m hitting on you when I say this.”

She smiled wryly, a lone, low chuckle escaping from her mouth. “I’m not a redhead.”

Relationships

Greg’s already been married a few times. He even admits to having hit on Peri when he was newly single.  But they are more pals than anything else. If anyone, he’s got an interest in Akanksha Kondapalli. But Akanksha is probably a bit young for him.

I don’t have an actual birth date for him, but Peri is 50 when the series starts. Greg is probably a year or two older or younger than she is.

Their friendship is truly Greg’s biggest relationship in the series. They joke and laugh and make fun of each other pretty much constantly.

Conflict and Turning Point

Greg has a few turning points within the overall story arc. He experiences a part of the first crisis in the first book, but it’s from a distance. And aside from presumably hearing about it, he doesn’t experience the second crisis at all.

Probably the time when he really gets to shine is at the end when he and Peri bring in a confederate—someone who they did not initially suspect was a perpetrator.

Continuity/Easter Eggs

Like every other Shapiro character I have ever written (Marnie, Eleanor, etc.), Greg joins a proud Easter Egg/Afikomen tradition in my writing.

Future Plans

He’s definitely going to show up in the Obolonk prequel! But after that, I confess I am not so sure.

Greg Shapiro: Takeaways

Once I got him going in The Polymer Beat, he was a joy to write. He and Peri come across, at times, like Tracy and Hepburn or, more likely, like Nichols and May. I really should find something else for that mook to do!

Greg Shapiro — because there will still be work spouses in the future!

Want More of Gregory Shapiro and the Rest of the Obolonk Universe?

If the story of the Obolonks resonates with you, then check out my other articles about how our society turns tripartite, with humans, robots, and Obolonks.

Character Reviews: The Obolonk Murders

Humans

Robots

Obolonks

Character Reviews: Time Addicts

The Good Guys

The Bad Guys

The Obolonk Universe

Self-Reviews: Obolonk Trilogy

Self-Reviews: Time Addicts Trilogy

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