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Dialogue Tags — How to Use them the Right Way

Dialogue Tags — How to Use them the Right Way

Published by Janet Gershen-Siegel on February 10, 2022

“It’s time,” I said, “to talk about dialogue tags.”

What are dialogue tags? Why do they matter? For anyone who writes fiction—and even for a lot of people who write nonfiction—inevitably, a character says something or other.

Yes, yes, I know about picture books. But I’m not talking about them here. They are a rather small subset of the writing experience. And virtually ever other genre is 100% filled with books where there is at least one line of dialogue.

Oh, and if you’re here for social media advice, sorry! This one’s only for writers. Unless dialogue tags float your boat. #NotJudging

What are Dialogue Tags, Anyway?

So, what is it that I’m writing about?

These are the bits of written speech where a person is designated as being the speaker.

Er, what?

“I like cheese,” she said.

Over there ↑, that she said part? That is a dialogue tag.

So, can we pack up this blog post and go home now?

Not yet.

Because this tends to be a very misused part of the writing experience.

It also tends to be a missed opportunity (and yeah, I’ve messed these up, so I feel your pain).

Punctuation

Let’s start here. Get to know and love the humble comma (,). Because it is about to be nearly a 100% go-to for you, when it comes to writing dialogue tags.

However, I must give you one enormous caveat: British, Canadian, Australian, and other non-US English-speaking countries tend to treat punctuation differently from Americans. Neither one is specifically ‘right’ or ‘wrong’. All I can tell you is: pick one style, and stick with it.

Nearly always, these tags are married to at least one comma and often one period as well.

Let’s return to our thrilling example:

“I like cheese,” she said.

See that comma before the closing quotation mark? That sucker there is mandatory. Yeah, you’ve gotta use it, too.

But, but the speaker has made a complete statement. Shouldn’t there be a period there instead? Nope! The period, in this instance, comes after the tag. I’ll get to placement in a moment.

Just know that, nearly always, commas and dialogue tags are the literary equivalent of peanut butter and jelly.

Exceptions

There are not too many. One is body language attributions, which I will also get to later. But another is the incomplete or interrupted sentence. Such as:

“I like—” she said.

Now, can you use an ellipsis (…) instead of an emdash (—)? Eh, maybe. But I like the emdash, and I feel it looks cleaner. I’m not the only one. But be aware that a lot of people and AI tests will flag emdashes because AI programs love them so much.

And, apart from looking cleaner, it is very easy to become what is essentially an emdash addict. FYI, this is a longer dash than the one which MS Word gives you if you toss a hyphen between two spaces, or you smash two hyphens together (those are endashes).

You can make it by typing alt-0151. And if you ever need to make the shorter endash, that’s just alt-0150. Technically, the endash is used for a range of numbers or dates.

So, if you’re interrupting speech, either with an aside, or action, or other dialogue, you can use an emdash.

Examples

Here’s one (interrupted speech):

“I like—” she said.

Here’s another (interruption with other dialogue):

“I like—”

“You like everything.”

And here’s a third (speech interrupts the action):

She opened the fridge door— “I like cheese”—and all the dairy promptly fell out and onto the kitchen floor.

But again—for the cheap seats (see how easy it is to get addicted to emdashes? I need help)—almost always, you’ll use a comma.

Toss Your Dialogue Tags Up Front and Introduce the Speaker Immediately

There are three separate places where you can put dialogue tags. The beginning, middle, or the end. And no, I am not being facetious here. So, let’s start at the, well, the start.

She said, “I like cheese.”

There ya go. As with nearly any initial letter in a sentence, the s in she is capitalized. Then, after the verb comes the comma. And then, the quotation marks and your glorious sentence of speech.

Mary said, “I like cheese.”

Immediately, we know the speaker.

But try not to use this construction:

Said Mary, “I like cheese.”

That is, unless you’re trying to imitate more archaic forms of writing. To most of us, it sounds and looks wrong (even though, technically, it’s okay). Avoid this and you won’t trip up your readers.

Let’s move further into the sentence.

Middle Placement—and How it Can Help You Avoid Emdashes and Other Interruptions

Heh. But seriously, folks, the overuse of anything in fiction is not a good idea. So, how do you interrupt speech with dialogue tags? By shoveling them into the middle, of course!

“I like cheese,” she said, “and I also like lettuce.”

If the speech was all together, then it would look like this:

“I like cheese, and I also like lettuce.”

This speech is a compound sentence, which means it’s just two separate, complete thoughts, bound together by a comma, which is directly followed by a conjunction (for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so are the big ones. And yes, the acronym is FANBOYS).

You can use this method for two separate sentences, too.

“I like cheese,” she said. “I also like lettuce.”

Whoa! Wait a second. There’s a period there.

Well, of course there is. Because if the speech was kept together, it would look like this:

“I like cheese. I also like lettuce.”

No comma, no conjunction? Then in this instance, it’s just a pair of simple sentences. Hence the dialogue tag picks up the period.

Tossing dialogue tags in the middle is one way to create a level of drama, because the reader naturally pauses (this is also why so many of us love emdashes, but I digress).

Middle placement is also great when someone talks for a long time. Lots and lots of speaking in one shot can be harder to read. Hence, adding dialogue tags in the center gives the reader a break.

Caboose Dialogue Tags—Save ’em for the Bitter End

This is a very common usage. Now, our speech reads:

“I like cheese,” Mary said.

“I like cheese,” said Mary.

Either is fine. You can mix those up until the cows come home.

There is one disadvantage to this. Unless the reader can immediately infer who’s speaking, they might start reading, thinking it’s John who’s talking. But then they get to the end and, oops, it’s really Mary declaring her love of dairy products.

I wouldn’t recommend putting dialogue tags at the end of very long speeches, either. It helps the reader out a lot more for the speech to either be interrupted by a tag or at least introduced by one.

No Dialogue Tags? No Problem!

Tired of using them? It’s okay. There are times when you can avoid them entirely.

If you’re good at differentiating your speakers, then at least some of your speech can go without dialogue tags.

“Mary, you’re being selfish, hogging all the cheese.”

“No, John, you will never come between me and my dairy addiction.”

“But sweetie, I was saving that cheese for our anniversary.”

Or whatever (this example has taken a turn, eh?).

But people don’t normally say each others’ names that often in realistic speech. Still, if you can make the speaker obvious, you can probably scotch a few dialogue tags. One way to do so is with what they say. Another is with how they say it.

Maybe John is from the sticks and has a thick accent.

“But sweetie, I was savin’ that thar cheese for our anniversary.”

But beware: overdoing accents and dropping letters and using dialect will not endear you to your readers.

Let’s have Mary tell us she’s speaking without using a tag or saying John’s name:

“No, you will never come between me and my dairy addiction. I’ve craved it throughout my pregnancy.”

“… ever since I was in Girl Scouts.”

If you prefer.

I would also caution you: no matter how fabulously unique your characters’ speech patterns are, don’t lose all the dialogue tags. That way, readers won’t lose their place.

Body Language Attributions Instead of Dialogue Tags

Er, what?

A body language attribution is when you toss out said and go with an action instead.

“I like cheese.” Mary winked at the cheesemonger, and hitched up her skirt.

Or:

John threw the brie across the room. “How ya like your cheese now?”

Or:

“We’ve got a lovely camembert.” Dave the cheesemonger glanced around. “Are you sure your husband didn’t follow you into the shop?”

Showing Over Telling with BLAs (Body Language Attributions)

Using BLAs is directly related to showing versus telling. Mary’s flirtatious. We can tell this immediately from her wink and her flashing a little leg. John’s angry. We can tell this because he threw the cheese and then the follow-up line reads as angry sarcasm.

Dave’s nervous. His looking around isn’t enough to tell us that. But the second half of his dialogue makes his jitters a lot clearer to the reader.

BLAs add interest to a story, and they work as a supplement to standard dialogue tags.

Mary smiled, but there was lipstick on her teeth. “I got to the shop as fast as I could. Do you think John followed me?”

What does the lipstick on Mary’s teeth mean? Maybe she was in a rush, which she says in her speech. Or she could also be nervous, which the second line of speech tells us.

“Just how tall did you say your husband is?” Dave wiped the sweat from his brow.

Now Dave’s not just nervous. He’s scared, too.

John paced around the room. “Where did Mary go?” He punched the wall and gouged a hole in the cheap drywall.

John’s doing more than wondering. He is mad as hell. The brie might not be the only thing that goes flying. But without the BLAs, his question feels innocent and caring.

Now, let’s address something you may or may not have noticed—and don’t worry if you didn’t see it.

Say, Say, Say

For every one of these dialogue tags, I used a form of the verb to say. But, but—I hear you cry—that’s so boring!

Fret not.

Boring is kinda the point.

Wait, what?

Repeat after me:

The dialogue tags are not as important as the dialogue.

Seriously.

Using to say (and its forms) is economical and unobtrusive. Here’s what happens when you don’t:

“I like cheese,” Mary breathed.

John hissed, “How ya like your cheese now?”

“We’ve got a lovely camembert,” Dave stated. “Are you sure your husband didn’t follow you into the shop?”

“Maybe,” Mary screeched.

Dave babbled, “I’m a dead man.”

“Yer darn tootin’,” announced John.

It’s too much, isn’t it? And if it doesn’t feel like too much, then feel free to grab my stellar—heh—prose and add several more lines of dialogue. And use a thesaurus to lard it up with a bunch of words that call far too much attention to themselves.

I know, I know, you love your SAT words. I’m a fan of them, too. But they’re a lot like habanero peppers. A few touches here and there are lovely. Too many, and you end up in the Emergency Room.

A little is enough.

Exceptions to Say

It wouldn’t be a rule if it didn’t have exceptions. To say will work about 85% of the time. What about the other 15%?

A good 10% of the overall should be forms of the verb to ask. Not inquire. Ask.

That last 5%? 4.5% should go to terms like whisper and shout (and many of shout’s synonyms, like yell, holler, and scream). These are useful because they do more than act as dialogue tags. They are also a form of body language attribution.

And that final .5%? Knock yourself out with your SAT words, if you like. You’ll probably find you don’t miss them much, or that they have a lot more power when they have a lot less volume.

“Where were you last night?” John demanded.

“N-nowhere,” Mary sobbed.

“She’s in love with me and my cheese,” Dave revealed.

Sprinkle, don’t shovel.

Dialogue Tags: Takeaways

Use a form of to say almost all the time, and use a form of to ask for any questioning. Anchor with a comma at the start or end, and with two commas (one on either side) if you’re putting dialogue tags in the middle of sentences or paragraphs.

Break it up by varying where you put the tags, and even drop them altogether if the speaker’s identity is clear. Spice up your prose with body language attributions. Use alternative speech verbs sparingly.

Which Dialogue Tags to Use	How often?
To say and its forms	85.00%
To ask and its forms	15.00%
Whisper and shout (and its synonyms) and their forms	4.50%
Other verbs	0.50%
TOTAL	100.00%

And now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to make a grilled cheese sandwich.

Dialogue Tags—make them work for you!

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Character Review — Ixalla

New Cover of Untrustworthy by JR Gershen-Siegel, New Cover of Untrustworthy, Tathrelle, Ixalla, Adger, Velexio, Untrustworthy universe

Character Review — Ixalla

Published by Janet Gershen-Siegel on February 8, 2022

Consider Ixalla, One of My Original Characters

Who is Ixalla?

When I first started to write the novel Untrustworthy, the idea what that Tathrelle was going to be the main character. But I fell in love with Ixalla. Now, Tathrelle is still the protagonist. But her wife became something more while I was writing her.

Where Did Ixalla Come From?

The circumstances under which I wrote Untrustworthy are maybe a little odd. The main idea for the book came to me in a dream, as some of my book ideas have. But initially, the only ‘face’ I saw was Tathrelle’s.

In fact, there originally wasn’t a lesbian relationship. But as I got to know the characters and the plot (and keep in mind, I was writing this during 2013 NaNoWriMo, so everything happened a lot faster than it usually would), Ixalla started to take on more importance.

The Past is Prologue — Backstory for Ixalla

The truth is, there isn’t much of one. Unlike Tathrelle, Ixalla just kind of appears fully formed, as if she was the armored Athena springing from the head of Zeus.

When the story starts, all we really know about her, apart from her being pregnant, is that she’s a schoolteacher. She teaches the Tenth Form which is meant to be the high school level.

Description

Without giving away too much of the plot of Untrustworthy, Ixalla’s appearance does change within the context of the story. When we first see her, she has blonde hair and blue eyes. But later, she has brown hair, and reddish eyes.

Oh, did I mention that she’s an alien?

Yep, Ixalla is a Cabossian. There are no humans in that book. None!

So, there’s really no actress who I can point to and say, “That’s Ixalla.”

As for how she sounds, the aliens in this book have very stilted speech—and that’s the idea. They’re aliens. They shouldn’t be talking, acting, or looking like us.

Quotes

“Student Number Five!” Ixalla exclaimed, “I will remind you of the rules. You are referred to by a youthful number and not by name, and there is a very good reason for this. It is because students have varying degrees of wealth and status. By using your youthful number designations – and those are your classroom designations, and not your actual numbers, which will come when you are of age – we can educate everyone, regardless of whether their parents are in the government or drive a transportation sleigh. As a result, you cannot speak about what either of your parents does, or even if both of your parents are male, or they are both female, or if they are mixed. I trust I make myself clear? Or would you prefer having the Lead Educator explain it to you again?”

Relationships

Ixalla’s main relationship is with Tathrelle. But as the book goes on, Tathrelle is essentially taken away from her. When Ixalla leaves, an authority officer flirts with her. But it’s nothing serious.

And even later, she essentially adopts two lost children. One is just called Student Number Seventeen, whereas the other has even less of a designation. I just called her the Unknown Girl.

Conflict and Turning Point

Even though she’s technically not the main character, Ixalla essentially picks up the main thread of the narrative. She acts as the main character whenever Tathrelle is off-screen.

Hence the conflict for her is virtually the same as Tathrelle’s—something is changing their world, and those changes are not for the better.

For Ixalla, the turning point comes when she arrives at the school drunk and yells at the Tenth Form. She starts off as an outsider and spectator and the kind of person who doesn’t get involved.

And then she becomes a revolutionary.

Continuity/Easter Eggs

This work has the least amount of continuity with my other works, as it kind of can’t. The characters are far too different and the scenario is way too dissimilar. Hence there’s little to no continuity with her, or cross-referencing.

One of the closest characters to her in another universe is possibly Elise Jeffries in the novel Mettle. Elise is just as intelligent and is also a not-so-main character who gets a lot of airtime anyway. But that’s about where any similarities end.

Future Plans

Again, without getting into spoiler territory too much, I can’t have future plans for this character because the book is, at heart, a tragedy.

But I love her spirit, how she goes from being domestic and intellectual to a street smart, resourceful, scrounging survivor.

Ixalla and Future Inspiration

For this character, I think the main form of inspiration I can get from her is the idea that a character can even surprise the writer. You may have certain plans, but it’s the character’s voice and the character’s desires that will win out in the end.

Ixalla showed me that she was more than just a place to bounce Tathrelle’s thoughts off. And once she had showed me that, she became three-dimensional.

Ixalla: Takeaways

For this character, perhaps my favorite bit about her is that she was never intended to be this big and this vital. But after a few days of writing her and Untrustworthy, the genie was out of the bottle, and she became more.

Ixalla—for when you need a revolutionary in your prose.

Want More of Ixalla and the Rest of Untrustworthy?

If Untrustworthy resonates with you, then please be sure to check out my other blog posts about how an alien society all-too easily devolves into fascism.

Character Reviews: Untrustworthy

• Character Review—Adger
† Character Review—Tathrelle
• Character Review—Velexio
† Character Review—Student #17

Untrustworthy Universe
Next blog post

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Writing Various Ages

Published by Janet Gershen-Siegel on February 1, 2022

Let’s Look at Writing Various Ages

Ages change if we write about more than a year in a character’s life. And we can also find we are writing a clash of them, as parents and their offspring collide, or teachers and students collide.

Infants and Toddlers

The very young can change in rather rapid and surprising ways. Fortunately, any number of developmental charts exist to give you an idea of what a baby or child can do at a certain stage.

Hence, for example, a human newborn should not hold their head up unless they have help or you are writing some sort of fantasy. Furthermore, while these charts give an idea of what to expect, they’re not laws.

Kids develop at their own paces. So recognize that while your newborn character holding her head up is probably not going to be believable, you can still write a range for these milestones. Furthermore, you can also use standard milestones as a way to signal problems with a baby, such as by showing the reader a child who should be crawling as barely holding his head up.

Preschoolers and Elementary School Children

The start of school is a major event in a young child’s life. And so are other firsts, such as learning to read and beginning to really socialize. And their vocabularies are growing as their worlds continue to expand.

By this time, they probably have a good idea of their sexuality even if girls are icky and boys are gross.

Tweens and Teens

As with younger children, these older kids have their own developmental milestones. Puberty in girls comes with not only the development of secondary sex characteristics, but also menarche.

Adolescence in boys can arrive later than in girls. Or maybe we’re all just socially conditioned to believe that. Hmmm…

Writing a historical novel? Then recognize that menarche (a girl’s first menstrual period) occurs about three years earlier now than it did a century ago, due to, among other things, better nutrition.

Kids in these age groups tend to start to get interested in relationships (although asexual folks beg to differ) and everything can be ultra-dramatic.

Some may be losing their virginity or facing pregnancy issues. And others might be late bloomers, wondering why things are happening to everyone but them.

Still others may be finding out they’re asexual or aromantic.

Our present-day culture attaches a number of privileges to this time, including becoming old enough to drive, work, drink, marry, go to war, and even vote.

Young Adults

Young adults taper off from teenaged drama as they generally begin higher education or work or join the military. Their high school relationships might not survive long distance and college.

They might go wild for their first time away from home. Maybe drugs and alcohol are suddenly freely available. And maybe sex is possible more often, particularly as they may be able to find more private spaces.

Or maybe they buckle down, get jobs and apartments. Some might marry, some might have children, and those sets don’t necessarily fully intersect.

Adults in Their Thirties

Not everyone has children, but by this time most people have finished their educations. And many of them are settling into work or into long-term relationships. Those with children have everything from infants to elementary schoolers, for the most part.

Furthermore, they may be starting to see their peers divorcing or even dying, and they may be seeing their parents starting to become frail.

Adults in Their Forties: Welcome to the Middle Ages

The kids – if they have any – are older, and starting to think about colleges, or at least are preparing and tracking one way or the other. Divorced folks (or those never married or in long-term relationships) may find it harder to find love. Perimenopause is common.

And for some people, this is the decade of early-onset Alzheimer’s.

Adults in Their Fifties

Things break, and people may find it harder to run or walk if knees or hips begin to go. Women go through menopause if they haven’t already.

People may find they are paying for earlier mistakes made with too much tanning, or smoking, or poor nutrition or dental care. And their own parents are generally elderly if they still number among the living.

Pretty much everyone has clear signs of aging by now. These include crow’s feet, creaky knees, gray or white hair (or balding), or age spots on their hands.

Furthermore, this can also be the start of the era of the grandparent, or at least of seeing their children graduate, marry or form long-term bonds, and start to get on their own two feet (with exceptions, of course).

However, it can also be a time of significant work responsibilities and stress. Hence some may suffer heart attacks or need coronary bypass surgery.

Adults in Their Sixties

It’s the countdown to retirement! And if a person hasn’t saved enough money, that countdown will take a lot longer.

However, younger-feeling adults can do well for quite a while, so long as they maintain healthy lifestyles. This is the age of the so-called ‘young-old’. Yet one in nine people aged 65 and older have Alzheimer’s.

Also, if these adults have parents who are still alive, those parents are pretty much guaranteed to be frail. So, these adults may be finding themselves taking over their parents’ finances or taking away the car keys.

Adults in Their Seventies: the Young-Old Ages

These are generally still young-old people. However, this is also a stage when cancer diagnoses become more common.

Alzheimer’s incidence is highest in this age group (it’s 44% for ages 75 – 84) and, because Alzheimer’s has a 4 – 8 year average span, many of those people won’t make it to their eighties.

Now, it’s exceptionally rare for anyone to have a living parent, although that’s not 100% impossible. And if the generations are particularly short (as in, having kids in one’s teens or very early twenties), a few of these people may even start to welcome great-grandchildren.

Adults in Their Eighties

If they’ve gone past age 84 and not contracted Alzheimer’s, the incidence drops to 38%. But there can be other forms of dementia. New cancer cases also drop, but that might simply mean a person already had cancer and is now suffering from a recurrence.

Even more people in this age group may have grandchildren or even great-grandchildren. Or they might be great-aunts and great-uncles or even great-grand aunts and uncles. Work should be long past them, and they may be considering mortality and their estates.

Life expectancy varies, but a man aged 65 today can expect, on average, to reach 84.3 years of age. And a woman aged 65 today can expect, on average, to make it to 86.6.

How many will still have at least one living parent? There are a few but their numbers are very small. And yes, there’s an occasional person in their nineties with at least one living parent. But that’s just about getting to be the stuff of record books.

The Nineties and Beyond – the Ages Near the End of the Line

It is harder to avoid some sort of mobility or memory issue by this age group. Adults in this group are usually no longer fully in charge of their own money. It’s rare for anyone to be driving at this age.

And living conditions are generally going to mean either being cared for by a professional aide or family member, or independent or assisted living—or memory care.

Being cared for can happen in a person’s own house or apartment, or in a relative’s, or in a community or retirement home. Adults in this age group may have issues with toileting, showers, and shopping for necessities.

Travel can be tough. Falls are scary, as are hospital stays. Either can end up being fatal.

A gender disparity becomes extremely pronounced by this time. How many men are there to women? Per the US Census in 2011, it’s 38 men for every 100 women. For ages 95 – 99, it drops to 26 to 100. And in the hundreds, the ratio of men to women is 24 to 100.

Also according to that same study, the nineties are overwhelmingly white, at 88.1%. But for all ages in the US, whites are about 75% of the population.

What’s the Uppermost Limit?

We… don’t really know. Maybe there isn’t one. But as of the writing of this blog post, the oldest person to have ever lived (where the age was independently verified) was Jeanne Calment, who lived to about 122 and a half.

But she’s the only person verified to have survived past age 120.

Also, the eight people with the longest verified lifespans were all women. The oldest man ever? He only made it to 116. But to crack the top eight, you’ve got to make it to 117 and about six months.

How Do You Get More People to Make it to the Oldest Possible Ages?

What makes a person more likely to make it to, say, 110? Or just (just!) 100? Here are a few vital factors in real life; perhaps you can use them in fiction.

Medical and Healthcare-Related Help

• Vaccinations – with many childhood diseases close to being wiped out (don’t get me started on the anti-vax crowd), many more people make it past age two. It may not seem like much, but it’s one of the first hurdles.

† Antibiotics – as a result of having antibiotics, many if not most infections don’t kill people. Of course, this is all dependent upon not unleashing pathogens that are resistant.

• Good nutrition – get enough vitamin C (citrus and other fruits and vegetables, mainly), and you won’t get scurvy. Get enough vitamin D (seafood is a good source) and you’ll avoid, among other problems, osteoporosis. Or at least it won’t have an early onset.

Exercise is important, too.

Societal and Invention-Related Help

† Safety belts and airbags – these devices save the lives of millions of people every single year.

• Drug purity laws – one of the reasons a lot of illegal drugs are so lethal is what they’re cut with. But the legal stuff has to be pure, and manufacturers are subject to inspections.

† Companionship – mental health is vital to longer life! So, mental health treatment is also important. Preventing suicides will, of course, prolong lives.

• Gun control – argue with me all you like, if you’re so inclined. But fewer guns mean fewer stray bullets, unlocked cabinets, etc. And, fewer suicide attempts which succeed. Gun control is a form of means prevention, just like putting high fencing on bridges.

† Fair and equitable (and vigilant) law enforcement – getting drunk drivers off the roads and keeping neighborhoods safe from prowlers is another preventative measure.

Of course, there are others. But these are a start. If your characters are missing one or more of these conditions, then the society you’re wrapping them around won’t have as many people making it to a ridiculously old age, if anyone.

Ages and Takeaways

So, what does this all mean when it comes to writing? Beyond the obvious issues of childhood developmental stages, a character of a certain age can be expected to have certain ailments, opportunities, relationships, injuries, responsibilities, and concerns.

In fact, society will make judgments on a person’s age, so be prepared for your readers to judge your characters based on their ages.

Ages matter. Character ages make a difference. And understanding general differences among ages can make your characters even more believable. Oh, and generations matter, too.

Oh, and please don’t give all the good lines and all the adventure to the very young. They shouldn’t be the only characters of yours who get to have any fun.

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Writing Progress Report – Fourth Quarter 2021

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Writing Progress Report – Fourth Quarter 2021

Published by Janet Gershen-Siegel on December 30, 2021

Progress Report – Fourth Quarter 2021

How was fourth quarter 2021 for writing? So, I spent fourth quarter 2021 working on Time Addicts 3: Everything is Up for Grabs for NaNoWriMo! This was the third novel in the Time Addicts trilogy.

Fourth Quarter 2021 Posted Works

First of all, I worked on pretty much just NaNoWriMo. While I did some short story work, most of my time was devoted to wrapping up Time Addicts.

Then on Wattpad I posted on the WattNaNo profile and the Star Trek Fans profile, and nowhere else.

Milestones

Also, I have written over two and a half million words (fan fiction and wholly original fiction combined). So right now my stats on Wattpad for wholly original works are as follows:

• Dinosaurs – 37 reads, 9 comments
† How to NaNoWriMo – 23,475 reads, 320 comments
• My Favorite Things (like kibble) – 974 reads, 133 comments
† Revved Up – 59,350 reads, 530 comments
• Side By Side – 17 reads, 1 comments
† Social Media Guide for Wattpad – 14, 720 reads, 591 comments
• The Canadian Caper – 493 reads, 37 comments
† The Dish – 250 reads, 24 comments
• There is a Road – 189 reads, 28 comments
† WattNaNo’s Top Picks 2018 – 1,870 reads, 45 comments
• WattNaNo’s Top Picks 2019 – 1,630 reads, 10 comments
† What Now? – 2,500 reads, 104 comments

More Published Works

Also, I am amassing quite the collection of published works!

Untrustworthy, which is my first published novel. So yay!

A True Believer in Skepticism, to be published in Mythic Magazine. Almost Shipwrecked, a story in the January 2019 edition of Empyreome (link no longer works, alas!). Canaries, a short story in the March 29, 2019, edition of Theme of Absence.

Complications, a story in the Queer Sci Fi Discovery anthology. Also, this is an anthology where the proceeds went to supporting the QSF website.

Cynthia and Wilder Bloom, stories in the Longest Night Watch II anthology.

Props, a story in the Longest Night Watch I anthology. So this is an anthology where the proceeds go to Alzheimer’s research.

Surprises, a story in Book One of the 42 and Beyond Anthology set.

The Boy in the Band, a story in the Pride Park anthology. So this is an anthology where the proceeds go to the Trevor Project.

The Interview, the featured story in the December 14, 2018 edition of Theme of Absence. Also, they even interviewed me!

The Last Patient, a story in the Stardust, Always anthology. This was an anthology where the proceeds go to cancer research.

The Resurrection of Ditte, a story in the Unrealpolitik anthology.

This is My Child, a short story published in the April 8, 2019 edition of Asymmetry Fiction, another site which is no more.

Killing Us Softly, a short story published in Corner Bar Magazine. And Darkness into Light, a short story also published in Corner Bar Magazine.

WIP Corner

So my current WIPs are as follows:

The Obolonk Murders Trilogy – so this one is all about a tripartite society. But who’s killing the aliens?

The Enigman Cave – can we find life on another planet and not screw it up? You know, like we do everything else?

The Real Hub of the Universe Trilogy – so the aliens who live among us in the 1870s and 1880s are at war. But why is that?

Mettle – so it’s all about how society goes to hell in a hand basket when the metals of the periodic table start to disappear. But then what?

Time Addicts – No One is Safe – so this one is all about what happens in the future when time travel becomes possible via narcotic.

Time Addicts – Nothing is Permanent – this is the second in this trilogy. What happens when time is tampered with and manipulated in all sorts of ways? It’s the ultimate in gaslighting, for one thing.

Time Addicts – Everything is Up For Grabs – this is the third in this trilogy. When timelines are continually shifting and changing, it gets harder and harder to determine what’s supposed to be real. And what’s not.

Prep Work

So currently, my intention, for next year’s NaNoWriMo, is that I am going to start writing the third trilogy of three in the Time Addicts/Obolonks universe. But I will need to iron out the plot! And as I look at what I’ve got written and its loose ends, I will try to formulate … something. We’ll see.

Fourth Quarter 2021 Queries and Submissions

So here’s how that’s been going during fourth quarter 2021.

In Progress

As of fourth quarter 2021, the following are still (allegedly) in the running for publishing:

This list is the name of the story and then the name of the potential publisher.

I Used to Be Happy – Gemini Magazine
Justice – Adbusters
Mettle – RAB
Soul Rentals ‘R’ Us – A Thousand One Stories
Who Do We Blame for This? – Sonder Review

All Other Statuses

So, be sure to see the Stats section for some details on any query statuses for fourth quarter 2021 which were not in progress.

Stats

So, in 2018, my querying stats were:

68 submissions of 19 stories

• Acceptances: 4, 5.88%
† In Progress-Under Consideration: 3, 4.41% (so, these don’t seem to have panned out)
• In Progress: 10, 14.71%
† Rejected-Personal: 14, 20.59%
• Rejected-Form: 24, 35.29%
† Ghosted: 13 (so, these were submissions where I never found out what happened), 19.12%

So, in 2019 my querying stats were:

23 submissions of 11 stories (so, 6 submissions carry over from 2018)

• Acceptances: 4, 17.39%
† In Progress: 11 (so, this includes 2 holdovers from 2018), 47.83%
• Rejected-Personal: 4, 17.39%
† Rejected-Form: 3, 13.04%
• Ghosted: 1 (so, these are submissions where I never found out what happened), 4.35%

2020 Stats

So, in 2020 my querying stats were:

37 submissions of 12 stories (so, 9 submissions carry over from 2019)

† Acceptances: 3, 8.11%
• In Progress: 7, 18.92%
† Rejected-Personal: 12, 32.43%
• Rejected-Form: 4, 10.81%
† Ghosted: 11 (so, these are submissions where I never found out what happened), 29.73%

2021 Stats

So in 2021 my querying stats are: 5 submissions of 5 stories (so, all of these submissions carry over from 2020); 100% Ghosted

Sigh. Yeah, it’s like that. But I’ll be the first person to admit that I need to be more proactive. A lot more proactive.

It can be pretty discouraging and hard to go on when nothing new comes up which is positive.

This Quarter’s Productivity Killers

So it’s work, what else? I am busier than ever, and I don’t see an end in sight. Because there is no way that fourth quarter 2021 will be the end of that!

Fourth quarter 2020 had more querying. Ah, well.

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NaNoWriMo—Word Count, Love, and Please Don’t Panic

NaNoWriMo, writing, chapter length, how do I write a book, Plotting 101, NaNoWriMo Advice, RIP NaNoWriMo

NaNoWriMo—Word Count, Love, and Please Don’t Panic

Published by Janet Gershen-Siegel on October 21, 2021

NaNoWrimo is Fun! But it’s Misunderstood, Too

You may have heard, somewhere in your travels, about a little thing called NaNoWriMo (including the 2023 forums scandal…). And while I don’t get paid by them or anything, I am still here to help you along in your quest.

Your quest, should you choose to accept it, should be to:

† Learn what NaNoWrimo is
• Figure out if you want to do it
† And to succeed at NaNoWriMo

Sounds simple, right?

Not so fast, my writing pals.

What is This Stuff, Anyway?

So, the first thing you need to know is that NaNoWriMo is not a competition. Rather, it’s a personal challenge.

What do I mean by this?

The 1999 original idea behind it was to see if an amateur writer could crank out 50,000 words toward a new novel during a set amount of time. November was chosen, and I suspect that was because it starts with the letter ‘N’. It’s also because it’s 30 days long.

And while neither 31 nor 30 (nor 28 or 29, for that matter) divides evenly into 50,000, that’s not really an issue.

The Rules of NaNoWriMo

Write at least 50,000 words. During the calendar month of November.

And… that’s it.

Want to write a memoir rather than a novel? Have fun. Want to write more than 50,000 words? Go for it. Want to add 50,000 words to a preexisting project? Enjoy. Want to set a NaNoWriMo word count goal that’s less than 50,000?

No one’s stopping you, although you won’t get a ‘traditional’ NaNo accomplishment.

There are no other rules to remember.

There are no NaNo police.

Math

If you divide 50,000 words by 30 days, you get 1,666.67, or 5,000 words every three days. Of course this is the minimum you need to succeed. Write 5,000 words every three days and, at 11:59 PM on November 30th, you can meet goal.

But life rarely works out that way. And God knows art does not.

There is nothing wrong with this.

Art

What happens if you write only 4,000 words in three days?

Then you’d better write 6,000 in some three-day period, not necessarily the one right after the period where, oops, you missed goal. Just do so before December 1st.

What happens if you write 6,000 words in three days, without having been behind? That is, what happens if you get ahead?

Give yourself a cookie or buy a flower or whatever you do for yourself to celebrate your small victories in life. Because, shhh—come closer now, for this is apparently a secret—getting ahead is the secret to winning NaNoWriMo.

Winning NaNoWriMo—Yes, You Can Do It!

Let’s get back to life.

Look Ma, No Plot!

So let’s say that you’re up early on November 12th, all set to write. You’ve got your lucky mouse pad. You’ve got your coffee (or tea, or juice, or cola, or whatever). And you’ve got time.

And…

… nothing.

No thoughts. No plot. And no words. The blank page or screen mocks you. You stare at it, then chug your beverage and surf the internet. All the while telling yourself that you’ll never succeed at this NaNo business.

Don’t fret, friends. Not every day will be perfect for creating. Our minds don’t really work that way. This isn’t a factory.

What Do You Do?

Give yourself a break. One big part of writer’s block is stress. So get up and stretch! Or take a walk around the block. Another thing you can do is brainstorm what should happen next. That’s even if the only thing you think of to happen next is someone gets a pedicure.

You need to write almost 1,700 words, right? Then that pedicure had better be spectacular. Describe the salon to every last detail.

Have your heroine (or hero; not judging here) hem and haw over the color(s). Or even have them unable to pay. Another idea could be them skipping out on paying.

Imagine your character running down the road, Coral Sunset polish still drying on their bare toes, as they try to avoid paying the manicurist.

Silly? You betcha.

But it’s words. And words always beget more words. Your silly idea, by the way, just might lead to a better idea. But even if you scratch out the entire day when you start editing the piece, that’s fine. Right now, your goal is to write.

Turn the key in the engine so you can drive to wherever you want to go—and don’t dwell on the fact that you had to drive through a rundown neighborhood in order to get there.

NaNoWriMo S-S-S-Sabotage!

The Facebook NaNo groups, when November (or December) rolls around, are filled with people who’ve got unsupportive families (by families, I am also referring to friends).

What if someone you live with turns on the stereo or the TV—LOUD—when you’re trying to write? Headphones to the rescue. Either yours or theirs.

What happens if your kids get into the argument to end all arguments just when you’re trying to write the most amazing sex scene in the history of literature?

Separate them, like you always do, and find something for them to do. It could be homework or chores, or contacting the parents of their friends and asking if they could have your little angels over for the afternoon. And volunteer to do the same after November 30th.

There are more ways you can be sabotaged; I’ll get to one of them when I get to the part about saving your work.

The Thrill is Gone

This isn’t writer’s block, per se. Rather, something is just plain keeping you from being creative. Major life events, even happy ones, can do that.

And that’s okay.

If you need to mourn the end of a life or a relationship, or you need to plan your wedding, then put NaNo on pause in your life. There’s Camp NaNo in April and June.

Or you can write on your own. On the site, you can use their resources pretty much any time. It doesn’t have to be November.

Preventing Common Problems with NaNoWriMo

I’ve often heard that, to succeed, you need to visualize success. But I don’t do that. Rather, I visualize failure. And then I do everything in my power to avert and avoid catastrophe.

So hear (er, read) me out, okay?

No Brain, No Words, No Ideas

Let’s look back at the three things I said could happen when you try to write (there are more, but these are big ones).

The first is not having ideas.

So get ideas!

But how, I hear you ask.

As Sonny Curtis (and Joan Jett!) sang, love is all around. And so are ideas.

Ideas don’t just exist from November 1–30. They’re everywhere. And they don’t follow a calendar or set schedule. At the time of this posting, NaNo is still over a week away.

So get out and cultivate ideas. Write down whatever strikes your fancy. Whatever will work—or at least gets you words.

If you love to outline, then do so. If you just want a bunch of sticky notes with random phrases on them, go for it. And if you’re like me, and you’re in the middle, write a bare bones outline with some listed ideas and a ton of wiggle room.

You do you.

And no, dear friends, this is NOT cheating.

Because—as I said above—it’s not a competition.

NaNoWriMo Counterspy vs Sabotage

Okay, so maybe you’re not a spy, per se. But if you have the strong feeling that the fam is going to give you grief, prepare for that NOW.

How do you do this?

Have a special day in October. Eat out, go to a film, go leaf peeping, shop, whatever works. That one should be somewhat spur of the moment. And then schedule one, with a bit of planning, for December.

With the exception of very small children (think preschool and younger), most people will be happy if they don’t feel you’re neglecting them. And most have enough patience to be able to wait 30 days.

For those who are older and should know better—and just can’t wait? Promise them something special, and of course you’ll need to deliver. A weekend away. Surprise bouquet. Cleaning the gutters without complaining or being nagged into doing it. Whatever works.

Will this perfectly eliminate every bit of sabotage? Perhaps not. But you have counterexamples to show off which can effectively combat any complaints that you’re not being attentive.

Get the Thrill Back

As I said above, you might have to put things off if life is dire or just plain too busy and hectic. Your best friend got Covid. Or your Mom is in hospice. Or the roof collapsed. You’ve got to make 200 favors for your best friend’s wedding in a month. You get the picture.

Your best bet is to keep plucking those ideas out of thin air, and writing them down. And then, when you’re ready, you’ll have a bank you can withdraw from.

And no, it’s not cheating!

Say it with me, people: NaNoWriMo is not a competition.

Practical Planning for NaNoWriMo

By the time this post goes live, you’ll have a little over a week before NaNo starts.

Clear the Decks

So—when does your family next go to the dentist? Make it for October or December. Same with haircuts and nights out. November doesn’t have to be 100% cleared of obligations. After all, Thanksgiving is right in there.

But if you can change a few things here or there, do so. Oh, and if you can get ahead at work, at least make the effort. Less external pressure is a good thing.

Plan in Advance

Do you ever cook in advance? No? Then it’s high time you started. Make a few simple things which only need to be heated up. Pasta is your friend! Freeze whatever you can and you’re basically ready to rock.

Take it out the night before to let it defrost (inside the fridge is better for food safety than your countertop) and then nuke it or toss in the oven to warm it and finish it off.

Boom, dinner is served.

You don’t have to do this every time, and you most likely won’t want to. But if you can get, say, four or five meals teed up this way, you’ll be a lot happier once you hit crunch time. And no one will have to wait for you to finish writing your epic battle scene so they can be fed.

Need to buy birthday presents, or go holiday shopping? Carve out time in October and December to git ‘er done.

Gather Your Tools

If you’re going to print anything, make sure you’ve got paper and ink, and your printer works. If you’re going to handwrite anything, make sure you’ve got pens/pencils and paper.

And make sure your computer has all the latest updates and patches.

Practical Tidbits

Go to the NaNoWriMo site and, if you don’t already have an account, create one. Make sure you can get into your account! And check on how to save your NaNoWriMo word count.

Why am I not specifying how to do that here? Because it’s changed over the years. So go to the NaNo site.

Make sure you know how to save your word count.

Save, Save, and then Save Again

While saving your work is technically a part of planning ahead and being practical, it’s so vital that it gets its own section.

But keep in mind: you do NOT save your work on the NaNoWriMo website. Don’t even try; there’s no place for it, anyway.

That’s not the purpose of the site. So, you will need to save some other way(s).

The gold standard (it’s the standard because it’s what I do, ha!) is to save in three different types of places.

Here’s how.

#1 Save to Your Hard Drive

Saving your work to your hard drive usually means you can open it more quickly. You can probably find it faster. And it may save more quickly. All are good.

But if you’re using a public computer, or traveling and using someone else’s machine, then that’s out.

Also, this is the fourth laptop I have owned, and I’m on my second tablet. Before that, I went through I think three or four desktop units. And I’m on my third phone. In short, stuff breaks.

So don’t stop with your hard drive.

#2 Save to Portable Media Storage

Er, what’s that?

It’s flash drives, thumb drives, separate hard drives, and the like. Back in the day, it was floppy discs. It can be CDs or DVDs, too.

Whatever it is, it’s something you can hold in your hand.

But beware. Flash drives, CDs, etc. can break or die. And I will never forget when a young parent came into a NaNo Facebook group and said their toddler had stamped on their flash drive and destroyed it.

Plus, if you need to work with a public computer, then this may or may not be allowed. You may find that the library doesn’t allow anyone to use a flash drive. That’s okay. There’s another way to save your work.

#3 Save to the Cloud

There are a number of services by which you can store work in what is essentially a virtual form. You’ve probably heard of OneDrive, Dropbox, and Google Drives.

Amazon also offers storage, and so does Apple (iCloud). You can use every single one of these for free, and they will most likely offer enough space for your needs without having to upgrade to a paid plan.

If you’re on a shared or public computer, this may also not be in the cards. But there’s one more way you can, in essence, save to a cloud.

Email your story to yourself.

While it’s a somewhat less elegant solution, it will still get the job done.

Let’s Get Psyched for NaNoWriMo!

You can write at any time. And you can write more, or less. You never have to sign up for NaNo, if you decide it’s not for you.

No biggie.

The main thing about NaNoWriMo is that it takes writing, an exceptionally solitary pursuit, and it turns it social. It’s also a convenient way to drum up interest in your work.

On Facebook and Twitter, I use the hashtags #CountDownToNaNoWriMo and #CountDownToNaNoWriMo2022 (or whatever the year is).

I post little bits, and I write the blurb. Over time, I’ve found that writing the blurb early can help to crystallize my thoughts. And getting out a blurb and some basic info creates accountability for me. People cheer me on, and I don’t want to disappoint them.

It must be working, because I’ve made it to 50,000 words every time.

Some Final Thoughts on NaNoWriMo

It took me about 3 hours to write this blog post. Its word count is almost 900 words above the minimum you need to write in one day to hit 50,000 words by the end of NaNoWriMo. Some days, it takes me more time than this. Other times, it takes less.

But in the end, it’s fun and rewarding. And no matter what, even if all you write is one word, that counts. If it’s a word you wouldn’t have written before, then NaNoWriMo has done its job, and you have succeeded.

Want to friend me on the NaNo site? Then go to my profile. Go get ’em, tiger.

NaNoWriMo—still relevant and still fun. Just… maybe keep away from their boards for now.

PS

It’s gotten so that I, personally, am done. But I still write 50k words in November. I just call it 30Day50k.

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Self-Review – The Badge of Humanity

Published by Janet Gershen-Siegel on October 19, 2021

Review – The Badge of Humanity

The Badge of Humanity is the upshot conclusion story in the initial Obolonks trilogy. It moves the action into more of the Peri-Dave romance. But it also follows to showing how she, Dave, and Tommy finally solve the murders.

Just like that universe’s society is tripartite, so are the three novels. So the first one, The Obolonk Murders, is devoted to the aliens. And the second work, The Polymer Beat, is dedicated to the semi-sapient and more than semi-sapient robots. Hence the third is all about humanity.

How Tommy figures out if that’s what he really wants, and how Peri regains hers.

The second and third novels also have somewhat punny titles. They both play off the police props of badges and walking a beat. But a badge is also an identifier. Hence, in this one, Tommy gets that particular badge.

Background for The Badge of Humanity

When I first started to write The Obolonk Murders, I had no plan and no idea it would turn into three books. At this point, I knew I really needed to finish up already. One thing Untrustworthy has proven, over and over again, is the value of an outline.

I knew the end had to happen, so the two biggest parts were solving the murders and, in some way, dealing with the Peri-Dave romance. I needed to tie up two very loose ends and do so in as satisfying a manner as possible.

Plot

Peri has to solve the last of the puzzle as more Obolonks are threatened. She senses they are the key to humanity’s future as the human population has swollen so much that it will soon overrun every inhabitable orb in the solar system. To leave the system means getting the secrets of interstellar travel. And the only ones who know that are Obolonks.

As Tommy continues to seek what is essentially humanness—the badge of humanity—Peri and Dave’s relationship heats up. There are too many distractions and the president of the solar system also seems to have something to hide.

Characters

The main character (as before) is Detective Sergeant Peri Martin. Secondary characters of note are Tommy 2000 (with a Tommy McFarland alias so as to cover up his robot identity), Dave Shepherd, Greg Shapiro, Akanksha Kondapalli, and the glamorous president of the solar system, Ms. Fankald Williams.

The scenes shift from the Boston Megalopolis on Earth, to Venus, Callisto, and Eris, and back, even to the Hague on Earth (the capital).

Memorable Quotes

“What’s that?” Peri asked a woman sitting nearby, who was an octogenarian like her parents were. The woman had on a knit suit in mint green. Mrs. Franklin? Fredericks? Francis?

“I asked you where you live.”

“Oh, I’m in the Boston Meg, right downtown in a high rise.”

“Back on Earth? That seems so old-fashioned. Don’t you want to grow eggplants with your parents?”

“Uh, no, that’s okay,” Peri tried to be polite about things, but she could scarcely conceive of anything more boring than supervising a far less sophisticated robot than Tommy—the kind known as a Jack or Lumberjackbot—as it tended to the care and feeding of umpteen eggplants for sale to markets as far away as Venus or the Neptunian System. “Someone’s got to haul in the undesirables, Mrs.—er, Ma’am.” Nice save, she congratulated herself wryly.

“Oh, yes, Earth has so much more crime than we have out here,” the woman observed.

“No, thank you, Mrs. Martin,” Tommy remained polite but was getting a little bit insistent, adding just a touch of emphasis to his surprisingly lifelike tenor voice.

“Well, there’s crime everywhere, Mrs., er, Ma’am,” Peri countered, adding, “Ma, he’s not interested in the food, okay? Don’t push.”

“Perdy, honestly! Now, Thomas,” Peri’s mother addressed Tommy, “I can’t understand why you’d be fasting on a day like today. Is it for a religious reason? Do you need to keep kosher, or halal, or vegan? Because I don’t think you need to lose any weight.”

“I need to,” the sophisticated robot’s bluish-greenish-grayish eyes moved rapidly, horizontally, a few times. Peri knew that he was checking his long-term memory for a suitable response, “watch.”

Rating

The book has a T rating. It’s not quite enough for MA, but there are sex scenes and they can be a touch explicit at times. Peri and Dave have a very active relationship. As for violence, it’s more threatened than anything else.

The Badge of Humanity: Upshot

The quoted portion comes from the first scene in the first chapter. I think the series ends pretty well. In particular, as I become a more sophisticated writer, I can see the holes in it. But I can still see a ton of potential.

And that’s why this trilogy is the first of three trilogies. The Obolonk universe is far too well-developed to let go to waste.

But this book really needs beta readers! Because the last thing that I want is for the story to end on a less than perfect note. Any volunteers for the beta reader badge?

Is the badge of humanity the goal for every sapient robot? Maybe…?

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Self-Review – The Polymer Beat

The Obolonk Murders, The Polymer Beat, The Badge of Humanity, Peri Martin, Tommy 2000, Tommy 2K, Selkhet 3000, David Shepherd

Self-Review – The Polymer Beat

Published by Janet Gershen-Siegel on October 14, 2021

Review – The Polymer Beat

The Polymer Beat moves the Obolonk action toward not just the robots which have an overall story line—it also explores main character Peri Martin’s romance with spy Dave Shepherd.

Just like that universe’s society is tripartite, so are the three novels. So the first one, The Obolonk Murders, is all about the aliens.

And this, the second work, The Polymer Beat, is dedicated to semi-sapient and more than semi-sapient robots. Hence the third is all about humans and is called The Badge of Humanity.

The second and third novels also have somewhat punny titles, with both playing off the police props of badges and walking a beat. The reference to polymer is because of robots. These books all have themes. This one is robots although I will admit it’s subtle.

The beat reference also connotes hearts beating.

Background

After I picked The Obolonk Murders back up again in 2014, I realized I had the makings of a trilogy on my hands. Hence The Polymer Beat became my 2014 NaNoWriMo project.

I also had a few dangling bits from the first book, including solving the murder and Peri’s disastrous first date with Dave.

Plot

As Peri and Tommy work on the Obolonk cases, Peri and Dave Shepherd get closer. Peri knows this is a bad idea, but she goes along with it anyway. And, as she and Tommy continue to try to find the killers, she notices Tommy’s simplistic robotic feelings are taking a turn. Could Tommy become jealous?

Characters

The main character (as before) is Detective Sergeant Peri Martin. The scenes shift from the Boston Megalopolis to various places in the Solar System, including Ganymede.

Other characters include Tommy, Dave, They Say This is the One, Sally Bowles AKA They Say This One Tiles Bathrooms Adequately, and lawyer Akanksha Kondapalli.

Memorable Quotes

“Were you programmed to be an optimist?”

He considered the question briefly. “I cannot tell.”

“That’s okay. You know I’m gonna have dinner with Shepherd tonight, right?”

“Yes,” he mumbled as she hoisted her bag onto the room’s sole bed.

Peri stopped what she was doing and came close to the robot. “What is it?”

“It is nothing.”

She looked at him closely. “If I didn’t know any better, Tom, I’d swear you were upset.” He stood there stoically, although she did see him scan once, briefly.

Peri returned to her bag and began unpacking it, stuffing most of her clothing into the top drawer of the room’s sole bureau. “I’m not even so sure why I’m going out with him, truth be told.”

“I do not understand.”

“Heh, I would explain it if I could. It’s not like my mini-phone’s been chiming all day with offers since Charlie died.”

“Is this,” the robot paused, maybe to select the proper words, “your first such offer since that event?”

“Event,” she echoed, taking a shimmering silver dress out of her bag, “that makes it sound as if there were engraved invitations, or something.”

“I did not intend that definition.”

“I know you didn’t. But you gotta understand, Tom, or at least just, just try to. I saw Charlie mortally wounded by a scrubbed hot gun. It happened right in front of me.”

“That is what your psychiatric evaluation said.”

Trembling, she looked daggers at him. “What else do you know about me that’s private?”

Rating for The Polymer Beat

The book has a T rating. There are no really violent scenes but there is an explicit sex scene. Occasional bad language, but not much.

The Polymer Beat: Upshot

Middle books in trilogies tend to drag, and this one is no exception. I need to improve it! In addition, beta readers would be helpful—hello!

It would be great to get some developmental editing help with the dragging parts in the middle to last third.

But I like the idea of it, and I think Tommy in particular gets developed much better. Dave remains an enigma, but that’s the idea. He is a spy, after all.

Yet for Tommy 2000, there’s more to walking the polymer beat than simply solving crimes.

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Self-Review – The Obolonk Murders

Published by Janet Gershen-Siegel on October 12, 2021

Review – The Obolonk Murders

I started to write The Obolonk Murders several years ago (it was 2002, to be exact). But then later, I pulled it. But I loved the concept behind it. So, I dusted it off and it became a trilogy.

… and then it became the first trilogy of three planned trilogies.

Just like that universe’s society is tripartite, so are the three initial novels. So this, the first one, The Obolonk Murders, is devoted to the aliens, and the second work, The Polymer Beat, is dedicated to the semi-sapient and more than semi-sapient robots.

Hence the third is all about humans and its title is The Badge of Humanity.

The second and third novels also have somewhat punny titles, with both playing off the police props of badges and walking a beat. But the first title is just really straightforward. It may even end up as the title of the first trilogy. I don’t know.

Although if it does, then I will have to think up some other name for this story. Hmmm.

Background

The Obolonk Murders started off life as a completely seat of my pants story which I put online as postings. I had no plot, no plans, nothing. At the time, I wrote the first three chapters. And I then got stuck. I didn’t pick it up again until twelve whole years had gone by. No lie!

Plot

The relatively near future brings with it first contact from an exploring species. As a result, life changes.

Society breaks into three parts: humans, robots, and Obolonks. An Obolonk is an intersex alien (a little similar to the Untrustworthy aliens, the Cabossians), orange in color. They are of about equal intelligence to us, but with interstellar space travel and far longer lifespans.

The robots are of varying levels of sophistication. However, the most sophisticated are the creations of Dr. J. Carter Tinerrian.

But all is not as it seems, for this three-part society has cracks in its seams. Not everyone is so eager to embrace the new way of the world.

When the story opens, one of these more sapient robots is now the new partner to a human, Detective Sergeant Peri Martin, who needs to start solving the mystery of who is killing Obolonks.

Characters

The main character is Detective Sergeant Peri Martin.

Her main motivations are to find the perpetrators and to work with her new partner, Tommy McFarland. And, to get over her lost partner, Charlie Hollis.

The scenes shift from the New York Megalopolis to the Boston Megalopolis to Callisto and then back again. Other characters include a robot named Selkhet 3000, Dr. Tinerrian, and the head of the Obolonks, whose only name is They Say This is the One.

Other Obolonks have their own reputationally-based names, such as They Say This One Tiles Bathrooms Adequately. So, that disaffected Obolonk…

Er, sorry, #spoilers.

Memorable Quotes

“Through that door,” motioned the robot.

“Thanks,” Peri smiled the half-smile she usually used when addressing robots.

“Your gratitude is unnecessary. I am merely performing my function,” replied the robot before turning and gliding away.

The door slid open after Peri underwent the same security protocols as at the front door. “Ah, come in, come in! I’m J. Carter Tinerrian. This lovely woman is Selkhet and this is your new partner.” Dr. Tinerrian was a nerdy sort of a fellow. He indicated a man in a suit sitting at a desk. The seated man was maybe 40, 45, seemingly younger than 50-year-old Peri, with a bit of salt to his brown peppery hair, and hazel eyes that varied in shade. He was well-built, too, although his nose looked like it might have been broken some time in his youth.

“Hi, there,” said Peri, shaking hands with the doctor and Selkhet and making her way to the man at the desk. He failed to respond. “Is he deaf? The department’s relaxed almost all physical rules but I don’t think total deafness is one of them.”

“Oh, he’s not deaf. He just needs to be activated,” explained Selkhet. Then, addressing the robot, she commanded sharply, “Tommy 2000, it is time.”

“A robot?” Peri asked. The doctor nodded but said nothing. “What the —?”

Rating for the Obolonk Murders

The book has a T rating. There are no sex scenes and maybe one or two stray swear words. Rather, the real issues are the acts of terrorism. They are violent but the violence is mainly offscreen although the characters talk about it. Plus there’s the aftermath, which is not pretty.

The Obolonk Murders: Takeaways

The plot is … okay. I like the idea of cops and robbers in space, and in November 2019 for NaNoWriMo, I started writing a successor trilogy. Still, there are parts where this book could be better.

But I have to admit it. I have come a long, long way since I first started writing it. It could use more beta readers!

In the meantime, the best thing about the Obolonks is the world building. It is potentially the best-built world I have ever created. Hence the sequels. And there’s even a prequel! There is so much room in this universe!

Because the Obolonk murders are just the beginning…

Want More of This Tripartite Society?

If the story of the Obolonks resonates with you, then check out my other articles about how our society turns tripartite, with humans, robots, and Obolonks. And how such radical changes aren’t always so easy for people to accept.

Character Reviews: The Obolonk Murders

Humans
† Peri Martin
• Greg Shapiro
† Rachel Gifford

Robots
† Tommy 2000
• Selkhet 3000

Obolonks
† TSTITO

Character Reviews: Time Addicts

The Good Guys
• Josie James
† Carmen D’Angelo, MD
• Dalton Farouk
† Tad Lewis
• Cyndi Mendez
† Bobby Brodie
• Keisha Darnell
† Vera Travers

The Bad Guys
• Peter Ray
† Dae Ou Xiang
• Elston Young
† Corwin Zachary

The Obolonk Universe

Progress Report—Third Quarter 2021

How was third quarter 2021 for writing? So, I spent third quarter 2021 writing short stories and working on planning NaNoWriMo. Work continued to be mega-busy, but I learned voice recognition on Word. It’s helped me tremendously with speed.

Third Quarter 2021 Posted Works

First of all, I worked on a number of new short stories. A lot of these had been drafted on paper and so I spent some time fixing and polishing them. Some of these short stories work well together, so they have chapters and the like.

I wrote, among others, Saddle Up, Bank Teller!, Unexpected Help, and Frozen Assets. In addition, I wrote Peddler and Uninformed.

Plus, I wrote The Future Has No Foundation, Never, and Glad All Over the Galaxy.

In addition, I started but did not finish Building Trust and Martin’s Choice.

Then on Wattpad I posted on the WattNaNo profile and the Star Trek Fans profile and nowhere else.

Milestones

Also, I have written over two and a half million words (fan fiction and wholly original fiction combined). So right now, my stats on Wattpad for wholly original works are as follows:

† Dinosaurs – 38 reads, 9 comments
• How to NaNoWriMo – 23,785 reads, 323 comments
† My Favorite Things (like kibble) – 974 reads, 133 comments
• Revved Up – 59,368 reads, 530 comments
† Side By Side – 17 reads, 1 comments
• Social Media Guide for Wattpad – 14,856 reads, 591 comments
† The Canadian Caper – 496 reads, 37 comments
• The Dish – 250 reads, 24 comments
† There is a Road – 189 reads, 28 comments
• WattNaNo’s Top Picks 2018 – 1,913 reads, 45 comments
† WattNaNo’s Top Picks 2019 – 1,700 reads, 10 comments
• What Now? – 2,553 reads, 104 comments

More Published Works

Also, I am amassing quite the collection of published works!

Untrustworthy, which is my first published novel. So yay!

A True Believer in Skepticism, to be published in Mythic Magazine.

Almost Shipwrecked, a story in the January 2019 edition of Empyreome (link no longer works, alas!).

Canaries, a short story in the March 29, 2019, edition of Theme of Absence.

Complications, a story in the Queer Sci Fi Discovery anthology. So, this is an anthology where the proceeds went to supporting the QSF website.

Cynthia and Wilder Bloom, stories in the Longest Night Watch II anthology.

Props, a story in the Longest Night Watch I anthology. So this is an anthology where the proceeds go to Alzheimer’s research.

Surprises, a story in Book One of the 42 and Beyond Anthology set.

The Boy in the Band, a story in the Pride Park anthology. So this is an anthology where the proceeds go to the Trevor Project.

The Interview, the featured story in the December 14, 2018 edition of Theme of Absence. So they even interviewed me!

The Last Patient, a story in the Stardust, Always anthology. This was an anthology where the proceeds go to cancer research.

The Resurrection of Ditte, a story in the Unrealpolitik anthology.

This is My Child, a short story published in the April 8, 2019 edition of Asymmetry Fiction, another site which is no more.

Three Minutes Back in Time, a short story published in Mythic Magazine.

Killing Us Softly, a short story published in Corner Bar Magazine.

Darkness into Light, a short story published in Corner Bar Magazine.

WIP Corner

So my current WIPs are as follows:

The Obolonk Murders Trilogy – so this one is all about a tripartite society. But who’s killing the aliens?

The Enigman Cave – can we find life on another planet and not screw it up? You know, like we do everything else?

The Real Hub of the Universe Trilogy – so the aliens who live among us in the 1870s and 1880s are at war. But why is that?

Mettle – society goes to hell in a hand basket when the metals of the periodic table start to disappear. Can a ragtag group in Boston figure out what’s going on before it’s too late?

Time Addicts – No One is Safe – so this one is all about what happens in the future when time travel becomes possible via narcotic.

Time Addicts – Everything is Up For Grabs – coming in November 2021!

Prep Work

So, currently, my intention, for this year’s NaNoWriMo, is that I am writing the third novel in the Time Addicts/Obolonks universe. But I need to iron out the plot! So a lot of this year has been spent on that. I am calling this one Time Addicts – Everything is Up for Grabs.

Third Quarter 2021 Queries and Submissions

So, here’s how that’s been going during third quarter 2021.

In Progress

As of third quarter 2021, the following are still in the running for publishing:

This list is the name of the story and then the name of the potential publisher.

I Used to Be Happy – Gemini Magazine
Justice – Adbusters
Mettle – RAB
Soul Rentals ‘R’ Us – A Thousand One Stories
Who Do We Blame for This? – Sonder Review

But I am doubtful about all of these. I just don’t have the time or energy to devote to regular querying, and I don’t expect that to change any time soon.

All Other Statuses

So be sure to see the Stats section for some details on any query statuses for third quarter 2021 which were not in progress.

Stats

So, in 2018, my querying stats were:

† 68 submissions of 19 stories
• Acceptances: 4, 5.88%
† In Progress-Under Consideration: 3, 4.41% (so, these don’t seem to have panned out)
• In Progress: 10, 14.71%
† Rejected-Personal: 14, 20.59%
• Rejected-Form: 24, 35.29%
† Ghosted: 13 (so, these were submissions where I never found out what happened), 19.12%

So, in 2019 my querying stats were:

• 23 submissions of 11 stories (so, 6 submissions carry over from 2018)
† Acceptances: 4, 17.39%
• In Progress: 11 (so, this includes 2 holdovers from 2018), 47.83%
† Rejected-Personal: 4, 17.39%
• Rejected-Form: 3, 13.04%
† Ghosted: 1 (so, these are submissions where I never found out what happened), 4.35%

2020 Stats

So, in 2020 my querying stats were:

• 37 submissions of 12 stories (so, 9 submissions carry over from 2019)
† Acceptances: 3, 8.11%
• In Progress: 7, 18.92%
† Rejected-Personal: 12, 32.43%
• Rejected-Form: 4, 10.81%
† Ghosted: 11 (so, these are submissions where I never found out what happened), 29.73%

2021 Stats

So, in 2021 my querying stats are: 5 submissions of 5 stories (so all of these carry over from 2020).

It can be pretty discouraging and hard to go on when nothing new comes up which is positive.

Third Quarter 2021 Productivity Killers

So, my productivity killers are work, what else? See, I got a raise and more responsibility. And I’m supposed to be getting another person under me soon. As may be expected, that made it harder to get fiction writing accomplished.

I am working on a ton of things. Since that is also writing, it can sometimes burn me out. There’s been a ton of stress but I am making an effort to at least write something every night. Because third quarter 2021 will not be the end of that!

Maybe third quarter 2022 will have more querying?

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Writing Progress Report – Second Quarter 2021

Published by Janet Gershen-Siegel on June 29, 2021

Progress Report – Second Quarter 2021

How great was second quarter 2021? So I spent second quarter 2021 working on planning Nanowrimo and some short stories.

Second Quarter 2021 Posted Works

First of all, I continued working on a number of new short stories. A lot of these had been drafted on paper and so I spent some time getting them into electronic format. One of these was The Myth of the Last Try. Another was The Courtship of Jeremy and Mitalisque.

I also wrote A Show for the Galaxy, Camp, and the weirdly twisted You Will Drink Your Coffee and Like It. In addition, I wrote Alien Justice.

Other stories include Brown Eyes are the Law and Prom Night Was Never Like This.

Then on Wattpad I posted on the WattNaNo profile and nowhere else.

Milestones

Also, I have written over two and a half million words (fan fiction and wholly original fiction combined). So right now my stats on Wattpad for wholly original works are as follows:

† Dinosaurs – 323 reads, 9 comments
• How to NaNoWriMo – 22,775 reads, 308 comments
† My Favorite Things (like kibble) – 972 reads, 133 comments
• Revved Up – 59,320 reads, 530 comments
† Side By Side – 10 reads, 0 comments
• Social Media Guide for Wattpad – 14, 070 reads, 591 comments
† The Canadian Caper – 485 reads, 37 comments
• The Dish – 250 reads, 24 comments
† There is a Road – 189 reads, 28 comments
• WattNaNo’s Top Picks 2018 – 1,855 reads, 45 comments
† WattNaNo’s Top Picks 2019 – 1,551 reads, 10 comments
• What Now? – 2,471 reads, 104 comments

More Published Works

Also, I am amassing quite the collection of published works!

Untrustworthy, which is my first published novel. So yay!

A True Believer in Skepticism, to be published in Mythic Magazine.

Almost Shipwrecked, a story in the January 2019 edition of Empyreome (link no longer works, alas!).

Canaries, a short story in the March 29, 2019, edition of Theme of Absence.

Complications, a story in the Queer Sci Fi Discovery anthology. So this is an anthology where the proceeds went to supporting the QSF website.

Cynthia and Wilder Bloom, stories in the Longest Night Watch II anthology.

Props, a story in the Longest Night Watch I anthology. So this is an anthology where the proceeds go to Alzheimer’s research.

Surprises, a story in Book One of the 42 and Beyond Anthology set.

The Boy in the Band, a story in the Pride Park anthology. So this is an anthology where the proceeds go to the Trevor Project.

The Interview, the featured story in the December 14, 2018 edition of Theme of Absence. So they even interviewed me!

The Last Patient, a story in the Stardust, Always anthology. This was an anthology where the proceeds go to cancer research.

The Resurrection of Ditte, a story in the Unrealpolitik anthology.

This is My Child, a short story published in the April 8, 2019 edition of Asymmetry Fiction, another site which is no more.

Three Minutes Back in Time, a short story published in Mythic Magazine.

Killing Us Softly, a short story published in Corner Bar Magazine.

Darkness into Light, a short story published in Corner Bar Magazine.

WIP Corner

So my current WIPs are as follows:

The Obolonk Murders Trilogy – so this one is all about a tripartite society. But who’s killing the aliens?

The Enigman Cave – can we find life on another planet and not screw it up? You know, like we do everything else?

The Real Hub of the Universe Trilogy – so the aliens who live among us in the 1870s and 1880s are at war. But why is that?

Mettle – so it’s all about how society goes to hell in a hand basket when the metals of the periodic table start to disappear. But then what?

Time Addicts – No One is Safe – so this one is all about what happens in the future when time travel becomes possible via narcotic.

Time Addicts – Everything is Up For Grabs – coming in November 2021!

Prep Work

So currently, my intention, for this year’s NaNoWriMo, is that I am writing the third novel in the Time Addicts/Obolonks universe. But I need to iron out the plot! So a lot of this year has been spent on that. I have called this one Time Addicts – Everything is Up for Grabs.

Second Quarter 2021 Queries and Submissions

So here’s how that’s been going during second quarter 2021.

In Progress

As of second quarter 2021, the following are still in the running for publishing:

This list is the name of the story and then the name of the potential publisher.

I Used to Be Happy – Gemini Magazine
Justice – Adbusters
Mettle – RAB
Soul Rentals ‘R’ Us – A Thousand One Stories
Who Do We Blame for This? – Sonder Review

All Other Statuses

So, be sure to see the Stats section for some details on any query statuses for second quarter 2021 which were not in progress.

Stats

So, in 2018, my querying stats were:

68 submissions of 19 stories
Acceptances: 4, 5.88%
In Progress-Under Consideration: 3, 4.41% (so, these don’t seem to have panned out)
In Progress: 10, 14.71%
Rejected-Personal: 14, 20.59%
Rejected-Form: 24, 35.29%
Ghosted: 13 (so, these were submissions where I never found out what happened), 19.12%

So, in 2019 my querying stats were:

23 submissions of 11 stories (so, 6 submissions carry over from 2018)
Acceptances: 4, 17.39%
In Progress: 11 (so, this includes 2 holdovers from 2018), 47.83%
Rejected-Personal: 4, 17.39%
Rejected-Form: 3, 13.04%
Ghosted: 1 (so, these are submissions where I never found out what happened), 4.35%

2020 Stats

So, in 2020 my querying stats were:

37 submissions of 12 stories (so, 9 submissions carry over from 2019)
Acceptances: 3, 8.11%
In Progress: 7, 18.92%
Rejected-Personal: 12, 32.43%
Rejected-Form: 4, 10.81%
Ghosted: 11 (so, these are submissions where I never found out what happened), 29.73%

2021 Stats

So, in 2021 my querying stats are: 5 submissions of 5 stories carried over from 2020; In Progress: 5, 100%

It can be pretty discouraging and hard to go on when nothing new comes up which is positive.

This Quarter’s Productivity Killers

So, it’s work and the pandemic, what else? But we also spent the end of the first quarter clearing out my mother-in-law’s apartment. Second quarter 2021? Dealing with the rest of it.

I fear second quarter 2021 will not be the end of that!

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Tag: writings

“It’s time,” I said, “to talk about dialogue tags.”

What are Dialogue Tags, Anyway?

Punctuation

Exceptions

Examples

Here’s one (interrupted speech):

Here’s another (interruption with other dialogue):

And here’s a third (speech interrupts the action):

Toss Your Dialogue Tags Up Front and Introduce the Speaker Immediately

Middle Placement—and How it Can Help You Avoid Emdashes and Other Interruptions

Caboose Dialogue Tags—Save ’em for the Bitter End

No Dialogue Tags? No Problem!

Body Language Attributions Instead of Dialogue Tags

Showing Over Telling with BLAs (Body Language Attributions)

Say, Say, Say

Exceptions to Say

Dialogue Tags: Takeaways

Like this:

Consider Ixalla, One of My Original Characters

Where Did Ixalla Come From?

The Past is Prologue — Backstory for Ixalla

Description

Quotes

Relationships

Conflict and Turning Point

Continuity/Easter Eggs

Future Plans

Ixalla and Future Inspiration

Ixalla: Takeaways

Want More of Ixalla and the Rest of Untrustworthy?

Character Reviews: Untrustworthy

Like this:

Let’s Look at Writing Various Ages

Infants and Toddlers

Preschoolers and Elementary School Children

Tweens and Teens

Young Adults

Adults in Their Thirties

Adults in Their Forties: Welcome to the Middle Ages

Adults in Their Fifties

Adults in Their Sixties

Adults in Their Seventies: the Young-Old Ages

Adults in Their Eighties

The Nineties and Beyond – the Ages Near the End of the Line

What’s the Uppermost Limit?

How Do You Get More People to Make it to the Oldest Possible Ages?

Medical and Healthcare-Related Help

Societal and Invention-Related Help

Ages and Takeaways

Like this:

Progress Report – Fourth Quarter 2021

Fourth Quarter 2021 Posted Works

Milestones

More Published Works

WIP Corner

Prep Work

Fourth Quarter 2021 Queries and Submissions

In Progress

All Other Statuses

Stats

2020 Stats

2021 Stats

This Quarter’s Productivity Killers

Like this:

NaNoWrimo is Fun! But it’s Misunderstood, Too

What is This Stuff, Anyway?

The Rules of NaNoWriMo

Math

Art

Winning NaNoWriMo—Yes, You Can Do It!

Look Ma, No Plot!

What Do You Do?

NaNoWriMo S-S-S-Sabotage!

The Thrill is Gone

Preventing Common Problems with NaNoWriMo

No Brain, No Words, No Ideas

NaNoWriMo Counterspy vs Sabotage

Get the Thrill Back

Practical Planning for NaNoWriMo