Skip to content

Tag: writings

All my writing (writings?) from social media and financial services articles to science fiction novels and short stories.

Getting Inspiration from Employment

Getting Inspiration from Employment

Does employment happen at all in your writing? It probably should, even if you just mention it in passing.

Working Stiffs

Employment colors most people’s lives (or the lack of a job). And whether your job is a creative one, or has to do with business, athletics, science, the Internet, or anything else, it can help propel your creative spirit to new heights.

Employment as Metaphor

So let’s say your characters are on a spaceship deep in the Andromeda Galaxy. Hence the time frame, pretty obviously, is the deep future. Yet even if you feel we’ll all be part-cyborg pod people, you can still see your current position (or a past one) as a kind of metaphor. Because even your heroes in space suits might become peeved if someone else uses their favorite ray gun.

Or maybe they have a conflict over a meal – even if that meal is an alien carcass or a mess of nutrition pills. Since it’s your show and your universe, why not show someone who resents the person in charge?

Repetitive or Unpleasant Work

For even the most exciting and glamorous occupations, there can often be a great deal of repetitive work. Actors have to memorize lines or go to cattle call auditions or autograph stacks and stacks of head shots. Models have to travel a lot and miss their families, and they wait around a lot at photo shoots. And singers get colds. In addition, lawyers have to answer emails and phone calls and travel to court.

Furthermore, doctors – even world class ones – sometimes deal with less than cooperative patients. And politicians deal with the polls and the press.

Most noteworthy, you’re a writer. So you know all about artist’s block.

Hence consider what you do, over and over again, at work. Maybe it’s running database queries. Or filing papers. Maybe you fill out tax forms or dig holes to embed fence posts or you clean animal cages or perform oil changes.

Now, please keep in mind, I want you to stay safe at all times! However, doing a repetitive task can sometimes lead to your mind wandering. So why not let it wander to and then linger on your writing? Maybe you can envision one of your characters performing your repetitive task.

Never mind if the time frame is wrong; this is just an exercise. And then start thinking about other tasks your character could be performing. While writing about a repetitive task might not make it into the final cut of your work, it could give you insights into your character’s personality and motivations.

Maybe your character makes mistakes. Or maybe they’re perfect at executing the task. In addition, some character might rebel or be repulsed by your task. So, can you extrapolate that to your work and your universe? Maybe you can.

Employment Isn’t Always 9 to 5

With all due apologies to Dolly Parton, sometimes people pour their cup of ambition at 4 PM their time.

My characters Josie James and Peri Martin are pretty much workaholics. Ceilidh O’Malley is a servant for most of the Real Hub trilogy, so she is at anyone’s beck and call. When she starts to work for Dr. Devon Grace, she is even more on call than before. Marnie Shapiro is the captain of a spaceship so she gets no time off at all.

In Mettle, Craig, Noah, Elise, Mei-Lin, and Olga are all on the job when we first see them. The only reason Nell, Kitty, Mink, and Dez aren’t on the job is because they’re still middle schoolers. And Eleanor, who has Alzheimer’s, doesn’t work any more.

Finally, in Untrustworthy, Tathrelle works as a government liaison but she’s being used. As for Ixalla, I think she’s the only working character I have ever shown getting fired.

Takeaways

Whether you’re an accountant or an astronaut, you might be able to use your employment as a vehicle for writing inspiration.Click to buy Untrustworthy on Amazon

Leave a Comment

Self-Review – Almost Shipwrecked

A Review of My Short Story – Almost Shipwrecked

This story is one of those I desperately want to read with a Queens accent. It just seems like the heroine of Almost Shipwrecked is someone who maybe isn’t what anyone would call a Rhodes Scholar. And that is okay.

Background to Almost Shipwrecked

When our narrator (Cheryl Frasier) gets out of her failing space ship, her escape pod takes her in an unexpected direction.

My main idea was to show more of a “below decks” character in a decidedly unheroic situation. There was to be no technobabble.

Plot for Almost Shipwrecked

The action starts with the narrator complaining more than anything else. And the first fact for the reader is: this was negligence. It wasn’t some fancy malfunction or an interstellar war.

Instead, the engineer got drunk one too many times, and did not do all of the necessary maintenance. The narrator and any of her shipmates who made it out, is damned lucky to be alive at all.

Characters

So the characters are really just the narrator and the folks she meets.

Memorable Quotes

I’m a payload specialist, or at least I guess I was. That’s a fancy way of saying I was in charge of inventory. I wasn’t a doctor like Mendez or an engineer like stupid Rogers or a leader like Ng. I’m more like a glorified box lifter upper and putter downer and counter and orderer.

Rating

The story has a K rating.

Takeaways and Future Plans

I am so grateful that Almost Shipwrecked was a story in the January 2019 edition of Empyreome. But alas, the site is no more.

And I also like how there is a slight bit of hopefulness at the end. But only slight. And it is only maybe. Because the narrator’s life could end that night, or a few days later if she can’t eat anything on the planet.

Also, there is a prequel to this story, Hot Mess, where I reveal the narrator’s name, Cheryl Frasier.

Cheryl is Almost Shipwrecked — and definitely at sea….

And so, I’ve worked on combining these two short stories into one longer one to give her more of a character arc. I am calling it Cheryl and the Lizard Elves. But, as of the end of July of 2025, the ending is not yet in sight.

Sorry, Cheryl, but in real life, I’ve had to deal with a ton of house repairs!


Click to buy Untrustworthy on Amazon

Leave a Comment

Getting Inspiration from the Military

Let’s Look at the Military for Writing Inspiration

Inspiration is all around. And so it should come as no great shock that the military can be another source from which to draw.

So let’s look at military service in depth.

Basic Training on the Military

Probably the first thing to keep in mind is that it’s not all a monolith. And it’s not all about war and wartime.

In the United States, the main branches are the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, and Coast Guard. The newest addition is the Space Force.

In addition, consider that there are very big differences between people who are drafted versus volunteers. There are folks who only stay for their single tour. And there are others who reup and become career soldiers.

Yet another type is people who attend military training schools.

It’s a Job

Yep, it’s a job. It has hours, duty rosters, supervisors, and training. The TV show M*A*S*H shows the bureaucracy of the military. Watch the characters Radar O’Reilly and then Max Klinger and see all the forms they fill out.

Another good example of military bureaucracy is in the book Catch-22. In both instances, soldiers are drowning in paperwork.

And don’t forget that the military has courts, judges, and lawyers. The Judge Advocate General’s Corps can bring a legal twist to any stories about the military.

Starting with the Military

Volunteers may want to serve their country. Or they may want to go kill the enemy if we’re at war or are about to be. Or they may just want the benefits. These days, joining the military comes with major perks. It can be the ticket out of poverty for many.

But draftees, on the other hand, may resent being forced to serve. They might feel their lives have been interrupted, or they don’t want to risk themselves. In particular, if to them it feels like an unjust conflict, they could end up becoming downright dangerous.

For both types of soldier, basic training is a must. It can be very indoctrinating, turning reluctant law-abiding folks into killing machines.

Military Colleges, Academies, and Schools

There are dozens of schools for soldiers and sailors. They go from Norwich University in Northfield, Vermont to the Air War College in Montgomery, Alabama. Military prep schools offer something of the experience to high schools. Plus many universities and colleges—otherwise unaffiliated with the military—have a chapter of the ROTC on campus or nearby.

Recruiting

Recruiters promise civilians a lot. And sometimes they deliver. But during the war in Afghanistan in particular, there were a number of soldiers who hadn’t quite expected to have to fight when the only thing they were in the military for was the free education.

In addition, there’s been some spoofing of the recruitment process, in films such as Stripes.

The Front… and the Back

So the front, of course, is where the real action is. However, in this, the age of nuclear bombs, the front might just be everywhere. In addition, with the advent of drone warfare, there may not be an actual front. At least, not one that any human beings actually go to.

Contrast this with the fighting in the Somme during the first world war. Or Pickett’s Charge. But while both of those were happening, there were still soldiers who were nowhere near the fighting.

Casualties

Without getting into medical care, of course members of the military can be hurt or even killed. And sometimes the wounds are psychological, where a veteran suffers from PTSD. For a good portrayal of a veteran with PTSD, check out Downton Abbey episode two of the second season, where new valet Lang has what at the time they called ‘shell shock’.

There’s also the matter of self-inflicted injuries so as to escape the front. Again, Downton Abbey delivers; this time it’s Thomas the butler raising his hand in a trench to have it shattered so he can come home. This is episode one of the second season.

Military Deserters

Every war has soldiers who get sick of the fighting and just plain go AWOL. Changing sides and betraying your country can be great fodder for drama, as can the reaction of the folks back home.

Conduct Unbecoming and Court Martials

The court martial is a particularly good source of drama. A Few Good Men makes it the centerpiece of the film. So there’s even a court martial in the original Star Trek series.

Discharge

Getting out can mean an honorable discharge. But discharges can also be dishonorable. Soldiers get out because the war ends, or their enlistment period does. They may get out because of injuries making it impossible for them to fight. Older career soldiers and sailors can retire.

Or you can be kicked out essentially. A dishonorable discharge may be rendered only by conviction at a general court-martial for very serious offenses (e.g., treason, espionage, desertion, sexual assault, or murder) that call for dishonorable discharge as part of the sentence.

There are also general discharges and bad conduct discharges.

Military Veterans

One role for veterans in real life can be attempt to correct a less than honorable discharge. Veterans might also march in parades or speak at schools—and not necessarily for recruitment purposes. Plus there are veterans with permanent injuries. The VA administration exists to help with their transition to civilian life, but the VA is chronically underfunded.

As a result, there are homeless veterans, and vets who need medical care but aren’t getting it.

Military Inspiration: Takeaways

This barely scratches the surface when it comes to all the ways you can turn to the military for writing inspiration.

Dismissed!

The military is one hell of a place to find writing inspiration.


Click to buy Untrustworthy on Amazon

Leave a Comment

Getting Inspiration from Education

Your education (or that of others) can be a terrific place for writing inspiration.

A Vital Component of Life is Education

Education is of course something anyone in a wealthier country, who is over than the age of five (usually), has in common with everyone else.

But what does it have to do with writing?

The Process

Consider the process you go through, and even the rituals which accompany schooling. You get up in the morning. Then you often eat something and you usually leave the premises, although not always. You read a lot, and answer questions.

Plus you might perform mathematical operations. Some of these tasks may be simple. Others may be grindingly difficult.

Then at some point you knock off for the day. You might have assigned homework. And then you go to sleep so that you can do it all over again. It’s a little different if you’re homeschooled. But a lot of the activities are the same.

The Subjects

After primary classes, you start to see variations. French instead of Spanish. Physics instead of advanced Biology. College-bound students tend to track one way. Those who are going to stop with a High School diploma or GED tend to track another.

Education Means Interactions

There are some interactions with homeschooling, but not as many as when you leave your domicile and go to a school. There may be bullying. Students may self-divide into cliques. Some join clubs or teams. Or they may even go to work.

There may be divisions that students make due to athletic ability. Or academic ability. Another group might be artists, or musicians. Some students know what they want to study. E. g. they know what they want to be when they ‘grow up’. Others take longer to find themselves.

And, of course, don’t forget students who get pregnant, or marry, or drop out—perhaps all three. Their experiences are just as valid.

School Shootings

Unfortunately, they have become a fact of life in American education. Fortunately, they don’t happen at every school. And even when they do happen, it’s often not every single person who’s quite literally in the line of fire.

That having been said, in the United States, kids go through active shooter drills from a very early age. Equally disturbing is the fact that kids can be in virtually any grade and become targets.

However, this unfortunate fact of life has one small silver lining. Teachers, cafeteria works, principals, and other adults in school settings now look for certain signs. Are these checks perfect, catching everything? Of course not.

But the hope is that some troubled kids get the help they need before they pull a trigger. But it’s difficult to prove that something that was perhaps going to happen, never did.

And as for gun control, well, that’s dead in the water (no pun intended) when it comes to preventing such horrors. Still, I won’t get into that issue in this blog post.

Education, Inspiration, and Takeaways

If your characters are in school, what is it like? Both Harry Potter and The Lord of the Flies allude to scholastic pursuits. Are your characters failing? Teacher’s pets? In trouble? Coasting? Ready to drop out because they think it’s pointless?Click to buy Untrustworthy on Amazon

Leave a Comment

Character Review — Rachel Gifford

Consider Rachel Gifford, One of My Original Characters

So, who is Rachel Gifford?

The exceptionally wealthy head of one of the biggest robotics companies in the Solar System, Rachel’s got … issues. For one, she’s horribly prejudiced against the relatively newcomer aliens in society, the Obolonks. But she is also running a company which she has no real business (heh) doing so. She’s not a leader. Yet she is thrust into a leadership role all the same.

Her own personal dissatisfaction stems from a number of things (see below), and a lot are of her own making. Yet, being the speciesist that she is, she pins a lot of her troubles on the orange folks who are not human.

You would think that her wealth would isolate her. But money can’t buy her solutions, not really—she wants action.

Where Did Rachel Gifford Come From?

In order to get anywhere, the antagonist had to have access to money. A lot of money, like ridiculous peak Michael Jackson or Tom Cruise or Oprah Winfrey wealth. Money where you can buy a private island or three, if you like.

I also needed a motive for them. Enter Rachel.

The Past is Prologue — Backstory for Rachel Gifford

Just before and during the events of the first Obolonk trilogy, Rachel’s mother, Camille Gifford, starts to exhibit the signs of Lewy Body dementia. I chose this diagnosis after Robin Williams’s suicide and the revelation that he had it. But it also serves a rather specific purpose.

Why? Because it’s a disease with delusions and paranoia, manifesting at the start of its progression. It’s also inheritable.

But back to Camille and Rachel. Rachel’s really just an engineer. But she gets thrust into Camille’s role—CEO—without enough preparation. And with very little desire to be in that role in the first place.

At the same time, she starts to become a victim of cyberbullying. Rachel puts all of this together and to her it spells an attack by Obolonks. With this kind of fuel for her prejudice—which isn’t exactly uncommon during this time period—she decides that the Obolonk people as a whole need to leave, and collectively pay the price for, well, being mean to her, more than anything else.

Do motives have to be highfaluting and complex? Do they need to be proportional to a villain’s reactions and plans?

Of course not.

Description

Mousy and slender, Rachel is a wealthy woman and an engineer/CEO. But she’s still not much for public speaking or the like. So, essentially, she’s the kind of woman in a twinset, sensible flats, and a gray tweed skirt who you might find at a meeting of the Junior League. She’s also someone who can quickly write a check if she decides to endow a hospital wing or college dormitory.

I don’t have an actress analog for her look. But I figure that’s all right. After all, even Nicole Kidman can get a mousy look with the right makeup, posture, lines, and gestures.

So can Jamie Lee Curtis.

Given that Rachel is in her fifties or early sixties, I would be looking for an actress more or less within their age range if I really wanted to discover an analog.

Purpose/Theme/Motivation

In The Obolonk Murders, anti-Obolonk prejudice is widespread enough that Rachel can find plenty of people who are simpatico with her. She is, in some ways, like the equally (if not more) prejudiced Robin McKenna of Time Addicts.

But one of the main differences is that Robin needs someone to bankroll her scheme—Corwin Zachary. But Rachel is wealthy enough that she can run that part of the show all by herself.

Quotes {Peri, Tommy, Lester Norris, and Luke Brody Question Rachel}

“Okay, we’re recording. State your full name for the record.”

“My name is Rachel Elizabeth Gifford.”

“What do you do for a living?”

“I’m the Chief Engineer at Polychron Enterprises. We make robots.”

“Tell us what happened from the beginning,” Norris said.

“A few years ago, every time I got on the grid, I was attacked in cyberspace. It was the worst sorts of flaming and trolling, insulting and cyber bullying.”

“Can you give us specifics?” asked Brody.

“I was called incompetent. They claimed I’d never had an original idea. The same old accusations of stealing technology and blueprints from Perfect Carol, Ltd. resurfaced. Only this time, with new twists.”

“Such as?” asked Tommy.

“They claimed to have intimate knowledge of my mother, Camille Gifford, CEO of the company.”

“What kind of knowledge?” the robot persisted.

“It was about what she was like in bed, if you must know.”

“Oh,” Tommy said softly.

“That was their first mistake. It’s how they made it clear they were orange freaks.”

“Got it,” Luke said. “So, it was about a supposed sexual relationship with an Obolonk?”

“Yes.” Gifford looked down. “My mother, until a few months ago, before she got really sick, was an avid hiker.”

“Sick?” asked Peri.

“Yes, Dorothy. You’ve been underground for a while. The Solar System keeps on spinning, even without you there to watch it,” Gifford cracked.

“Wait—why’d you call her Dorothy?” Luke asked.

Relationships

Rachel Gifford mainly keeps to herself, the poor little rich girl that she is. But she still has some relationships.

Rachel and Camille

Because I see Camille as being the kind of CEO who kept everything close to the vest and wrote nearly nothing down, I see Rachel as resenting this aspect of her mother’s pre-dementia personality. Rachel, understandably, is resentful of Camille’s utter lack of planning for a succession. Even without her diagnosis, Camille was not going to live forever.

But a lot of people do act that way, so I wanted Camille to be like that. And, as a result, Rachel is left holding the bag. And she doesn’t enjoy that one bit.

At the same time, though, Rachel makes no moves to assure her own succession, or to hire someone to help her or become the CEO instead of her. The truth is, a lot of Rachel’s issues are real and they would be problematic to just about anyone. But others are her own damned fault.

Rachel and Ted

Rachel’s not exactly looking for love, or at least some sort of a connection. And, with her wealth, she’d be cautious about a lot of people. But the Reverend Theodore Moore is basically the Jimmy Swaggart of the story. And so, with money coming out of his ears, Ted isn’t a threat to Rachel’s fortune.

It also helps that they bond over their mutual prejudice against Obolonks.

Conflict and Turning Point

Much like in the rest of the story, Rachel’s turning point comes during the characters’ time on Sedna. When her identity and scheme are discovered, she fights back. But Rachel fights dirty.

Continuity/Easter Eggs

She has no continuity with other stories and, if I recall correctly, I don’t mention her in the Time Addicts trilogy. In addition, she is not a part of the prequels to either the Obolonk trilogy or Time Addicts. So, no pun intended, she is a bit unmoored.

Future Plans

Since she did not show up during the Obolonk prequel, I am at a loss as to where I could put her again. And a character like her—resentful of having to be the adult in the room, spoiled, and with a superiority complex—would likely be a lot of fun to really get into writing. Imagine her point of view!

Rachel Gifford: Takeaways

So, what I truly love about this character is that she doesn’t look like she could do anything worse to anyone beyond blackballing them at the local country club. But underestimating Rachel is a very bad idea.

Rachel Gifford — because sometimes it really is the quiet ones.


Want More of Rachel Gifford and the Rest of the Obolonk Universe?

If the story of the Obolonks resonates with you, then check out my other articles about how our society turns tripartite, with humans, robots, and Obolonks.

Character Reviews: The Obolonk Murders

Humans
Peri Martin
Greg Shapiro
Rachel Gifford

Robots
Tommy 2000
Selkhet 3000

Obolonks
TSTITO

Character Reviews: Time Addicts

The Good Guys
Josie James
Carmen D’Angelo, MD
Dalton Farouk
Tad Lewis
• Cyndi Mendez
† Bobby Brodie
• Keisha Darnell
† Vera Travers

The Bad Guys
Peter Ray
† Dae Ou Xiang
Elston Young
† Corwin Zachary

The Obolonk Universe

Self-Reviews: Obolonk Trilogy

The Obolonk Murders
Self-Review: The Polymer Beat
The Badge of Humanity

Self-Reviews: Time Addicts Trilogy

No One is Safe
Nothing is Permanent
Everything is up for Grabs

Next article

Leave a Comment

Hot or Cold, Rough or Smooth, Hard or Soft—Tactile Cues in Writing

So, is your book running hot or cold?

Hot or Cold and Other Touch Cues

Touch is a somewhat complex sense because it can evoke temperature, pressure, and our experience of surfaces—often at the same time.

Your readers are already feeling your book in their hands or on their Kindle or phone, or feeling their computer thrum if they’re reading on a laptop or a desktop.

But how do you get them to feel what your characters are truly feeling?

Let’s start by breaking down tactile cues into a few separate categories.

Hot or Cold is Only the Beginning When it Comes to Touch

No doubt I will miss something or other. But let’s look at what I’ve got, okay? And if I think of something else, I can always update this post.

Touch can also be referred to as haptic feedback or kinesthetics.

Temperature

So, this is probably the easiest area to talk about because we all understand it intuitively. Every person has been hot or cold at some time in their life. Even if you live in the tropics, you may feel cold at night—and cold is a relative feeling (as is heat).

That is, you ever notice how, at the end of winter, 50 degrees Fahrenheit or so feels warm? But at the end of the summer, that same temperature can make you shiver. It’s just a relative feeling. You get used to feeling one way or the other.

In my work, the character who easily feels the coldest is Peri Martin. But no wonder, as she ends up on Sedna! The folks in Mettle also feel a lot of cold.

Ceilidh tends to feel more heat, but that’s because it’s the Victorian era and she constantly has to wear all these layers, no matter the weather. The heat even makes her faint.

Pressure

While it’s not as varied or parsed as temperature, there are different types of pressures we feel. Consider the obvious one of holding weight. But there’s also sinus pressure. And, technically, there’s also the pressure of deadlines or the like. We can often get a rather visceral reaction to stress.

Who has the most pressure on them in my works? Probably Marnie Shapiro, who has to conduct a First Contact mission while the Earth government collapses into tyranny back home.

Pain, Itching, and Other Medical Feelings

Ouch! There’s the sting of a slap, labor, touching a hot stove, phantom limb pain, and more. And good lord, don’t get me started on mosquitoes, the singular most dangerous animal to humans on the planet. Yep, they even beat out hippos. Nasty little buggers!

Nausea and acid reflux are certainly medical feelings although nausea can often be associated with smell or taste (er, sorry!) as well.

My character with the most sickness (particularly nausea) is Josie James, hands down. She gets it so often that she’s even fetishized the cleanup.

Skin, Sex, Friction, Fondling, Kisses, and Kink

Ooh la la! Well, I am not going to go into too much excruciating detail here. But keep in mind that sensual touch can take many forms. There are sweaty palms during hand holding and the thrill or fear of almost being caught during various stages of the act. And of course there’s kink, whether it’s wearing leather or the like or inflicting pain or humiliating someone.

Marnie and Lex, and Dave and Peri all have rollicking sex lives. Tathrelle and Ixalla are also very touching and affectionate with one another.  But there’s a certain point where explicit can get too explicit, and I’ve tried not to cross it. Even harder core stuff should have some sort of a limit, I feel.

Surfaces

There’s something about walking in wet grass in the summertime. But there’s also the feeling of running your hand along a wooden surface—and getting a splinter.

Probably the most surface feeling happens in Mettle, where elements change and transmute whatever they are made of.

Hot or Cold Takeaways

Tactile sensations such as hot or cold can almost become a species of character if they are vital to the plot. A pebble in your shoe can sideline you in a way that a gunshot wound does not. Too much cold means characters have to address the matter, whether it’s to wear more clothes, get inside, or build a fire.

Just… try to stay away from weather reports unless you really need them to drive the action.

How does your prose feel to the touch?

Want More of Using Hot or Cold or Other Tactile Cues and Other Background to Evoke the Senses in Writing?

If the idea of leveraging hot or cold or other tactile cues in your writing resonates with you, then check out my other articles about using sense cues.

Sense Cues:

Senses
Scene Setting
Set Dressing—Visual Cues in Writing
Hairstyles and Costumes—Visual Cues in Writing
Aroma vs Odor or Stench—Olfactory Cues in Writing
Mixing a Score in Words and Music—Sound Cues in Writing
Disgusting vs Delicious—Taste Cues in Writing
Hot or Cold, Rough or Smooth, Hard or Soft—Tactile Cues in Writing

Next articleClick to buy Untrustworthy on Amazon


Leave a Comment

Disgusting vs Delicious—Taste Cues in Writing

Are the tastes in your prose disgusting or delicious? It does matter, you know.

Tastes: Disgusting vs Delicious or In Between?

As writers, we may sometimes forget to add any sense cues beyond vision and sound. But there’s more to life than just those two. How much of the tastes of things do you put into your prose?

So, let’s look at adding tastes to your prose.

Food, Glorious Food!

It’s pretty much a cliché, but the bottom line is, if you’re struggling to meet word count during NaNoWriMo, one of the easiest ways you can do that is to sit your characters down for some food.

Disgusting vs Delicious Main Courses

I know that I have Ceilidh do a lot of cooking, and some of that was, yes, to meet word count. But it’s also because it’s a large part of her job. She originally gets a job at the Edwards House because she washes dishes and doesn’t break anything. But to get a job at the Lowell House, she makes the master of the house an omelet.

And the truth is, that’s kind of an odd thing to make for anything other than breakfast in the 1870s. However, I know I will need to edit out a lot of her cookery.

In The Enigman Cave, the crew eat from farms on board, including goats, fish, and chicken. But the Enigmans on the surface eat fern fronds. A big part of first contact is sharing food.

On the other hand, not everyone is such a good cook. In the Time Addicts prequel, the kids joke that their mother has burned soup. This is taken from real life—my mother actually left a pot of soup on the stove for too long, the water evaporated and, long story short, she burned the soup.

But there are also foods which we may find disgusting.

In Mettle, the food becomes hit or miss very quickly. Characters are eventually grateful to share a meal of squirrel. But before that, as a part of the foreshadowing, every character wastes food in some way or another.

If the story had gone on any longer, the characters would have ended up dining on rats.

Sides, Appetizers, and Snacks

Josie eats nearly nothing for breakfast, and her suppers are almost as parsimonious. But her lunches are huge, and they include everything from soup to salad to whatever appetizer works, like Crab Rangoon or jalapeño poppers. She likes to eat—she just doesn’t like being sick.

Dessert!

Whether it’s stale candy bars pilfered from Kitty’s locker, or a cake for Marnie‘s birthday, or tangerines smuggled to Peri, characters have sweet tooths. But then again, so do I.

Protein Pills and Other Oddities

The Cabossians in Untrustworthy don’t eat the same kinds of foods that we do. They subsist off manufactured nutritional supplements and wild herbs which grow along the banks of the Central River.

For spaceships like the Valentina Tereshkova or the Orlando, the last thing I wanted was to have them eating weird cubes or getting injections instead of meals. Eating is, after all, one of the great pleasures of life. It would be a shame for us, as a species, to realize we never wanted to eat normally again.

Diets and Religious Restrictions

Because Josie’s sister Hayley is modern Orthodox, she keeps a strictly kosher home. This means she won’t always eat at her siblings’ homes. It also means she’s a lot less likely to go out for a meal unless she knows for certain that a restaurant keeps kosher properly.

In The Enigman Cave, Jazzie puts Marnie on a diet—and Marnie hates it.

Drink

It’s a big part of Untrustworthy for characters to go to taverns. But they don’t drink what we drink. Rather, their drink of choice is fermented Aromossian oil. No, I don’t know what it tastes like, either. Yet tellingly, it’s not the vagrants getting drunk—it’s the so-called ‘respectable Cabossians’.

As the events of Mettle go on, characters take to drinking a lot of tea to try to stay warm. But this is not before a vat of coffee is made outdoors, in an enormous pot, with no filter for the grounds… and the occasional leaf.

During the Time Addicts prequel, Drusilla and Kent share a bottle of wine, but that happens off-camera, as it were.

And in the first Obolonk trilogy, Peri and Dave go to a number of swanky restaurants, and that often means wine or even Champagne with their meals.

Legal and Illegal Drugs

While Josie is sick, she isn’t on any sorts of medications. But in Mettle, Dez is a pot dealer—and he’s not above taking the medical marijuana that belongs to Mink’s Aunt Doreen. Marnie is treated for knee problems, but those are injections and not swallowed.

Disgusting vs Delicious Takeaways

Not all of your characters have to eat. In fact, you can go through an entire NaNo-sized novel without feeding any of them.

But eating scenes are relatable and easy to put together. And, if you’re pressed to meet word count, they are life savers!

How good does your prose taste?

Want More of Using Disgusting vs Delicious Tastes and Other Background to Evoke the Senses in Writing?

If the idea of leveraging disgusting vs delicious tastes in your writing resonates with you, then check out my other articles about using sense cues.

Sense Cues:

Senses
Scene Setting
Set Dressing—Visual Cues in Writing
Hairstyles and Costumes—Visual Cues in Writing
Aroma vs Odor or Stench—Olfactory Cues in Writing
Mixing a Score in Words and Music—Sound Cues in Writing
Disgusting vs Delicious—Taste Cues in Writing
Hot or Cold, Rough or Smooth, Hard or Soft—Tactile Cues in Writing

Next article


Leave a Comment

Mixing a Score in Words and Music—Sound Cues in Writing

Let’s consider words and music in writing.

Sound and Fury, Full of Words and Music, Signifying, Well, What, Exactly?

Of course, our books are full of words! Otherwise, they would be picture books. And not very good picture books, to boot! Because even picture books for the newest reader will have some sort of verbiage in them.

Words and What They Do In Your Writing

I have blogged a lot about writing, including descriptive prose, etc. But I haven’t really gotten into word choice and other aspects of the very instrument we use to create books—the words themselves.

Words and Culture

How do your characters talk? Not so much what they say. But how do they say it?

Josie comes from a big Jewish family. Her sister Hayley is the most Orthodox of her siblings. So, she might lapse into Yiddish at times. Or Hebrew, because Hayley lives in what was once Tel Aviv.

Ceilidh is Irish through and through. So, when she meets Barry Marsh, he talks to her a bit in Gaelic.

In The Enigman Cave, Trixie is from London, Kentucky, whereas Jazminder is from Leeds, England. They have different expressions, different slang, and different ways of expressing everything from fear to disgust to taking a stand.

In Mettle, all the characters have potty mouths. It’s practically a requirement. In fact (by design), the first word anyone utters is an f-bomb.

The characters in Untrustworthy don’t really use contractions. As a result, reviewers have said their speech seems stilted. But that’s by design.

In the Obolonk universe, certain terms change over time. Peri might say dollars to doughnuts, whereas Josie would say mercs to doughnuts, because dollars no longer exist, and the Solar System’s unit of currency is the mercury.

The phrase loses its alliteration. So, maybe I’ll change to something like mercs to muffins, so it can get its alliteration back.

In all of my works, intelligent people tend to use longer words and discuss more complex concepts.

Political Correctness or Its Lack

Not all of the talking is words of affection or pleasantries. Sometimes, there’s a sting in there.

Peri and her pal Greg trade witticisms and ironic pet names, including mook, which basically means an idiot.

In Mettle, Elise refers to Noah as a genius most of the time, and it’s often to put him in his place and remind him that he’s not the only smart person in the room.

Kitty in particular is mean and definitely not PC in her insults, often using the R-word and her one use of the N-word is cut off mid-syllable.

Sweet Music in Your Works

Characters might hum or belt out show tunes. Music is important to a lot of people. For youth, it’s often a means of expression. Don’t leave it out of your storylines!

Soundtracks to Your Prose AKA YouTube is Your Friend

You will need to keep copyright in mind. Lyrics are subject to copyright. But common turns of phrase aren’t.

In Respect, when Aretha Franklin sings about giving her her ‘propers’ when she gets home, there is nothing that her estate can copyright in that one word or even in that short phrase. It would be a lot like trying to copyright the letter B.

But too much wholesale copying will get you into hot water. So, if you’re thinking of starting each chapter with a stanza from a pop song, think again.

But don’t despair. There is nothing wrong with creating a playlist (like a soundtrack) for your prose. I have, and I highly recommend it. Not just to help your readers get into the storyline, but for you to get into it.

During Novembers in particular, I tend to listen to at least one applicable playlist song before I start to write for the day. It gets me going!

Without further ado, here are my playlists.

Untrustworthy

The truth is that this story really just has one song. It was everywhere when I was writing the book, and parallels a lot of the action. How much was I influenced? How much of this was by design? Even I don’t know anymore.

The song? It’s Bastille’s Pompeii. It’s the only soundtrack for the prequel as well.

The Enigman Cave

I didn’t put a lot into this playlist, but I wanted to give some tunes over to Marnie’s conflicted feelings and problems. I didn’t create a separate one for the prequel.

The Obolonk Universe

The playlist for the first Obolonks trilogy is loaded with songs either connecting to Boston or about machines or the like.


I even have a playlist for its prequel, which is dominated by songs about breaking up and making up.

Time Addicts

For this story about the abuse of time travel, all the songs in the playlist are about time or are about units of time (days, etc.).


Since I wrote the prequels for both Time Addicts and Real Hub for the same NaNo, they ended up on the same playlist. The dividing line is, of course, Black 47’s Funky Ceili.

Words and Music in the Third Obolonk Trilogy

This trilogy is still in a very amorphous state (which is why I’m writing prequels these days—I need to work out the plot better), and so is the playlist.

The Real Hub of the Universe

To evoke Ceilidh’s roots, the playlist for this trilogy is dominated by Irish songs.

Words and Music in Mettle

The playlist for Mettle is all songs by groups related in some way to Boston or at least Massachusetts. A lot of these songs are directly related to chapters (although I may end up rearranging some of them). The prequel works with the same playlist.

Takeaways for Your Choices of Words and Music in Your Books

Words and music can give your stories window dressing. They can set a mood and they can subtly indicate class, education, intellect, status, and more. Now go add a few earworms to your works!

Which sounds are ringing through your prose? What’s the soundtrack to your story?

Want More of Using Words and Music and Other Background to Evoke the Senses in Writing?

If the idea of leveraging words and music in your writing resonates with you, then check out my other articles about using sense cues.

Sense Cues:

Senses
Scene Setting
Set Dressing—Visual Cues in Writing
Hairstyles and Costumes—Visual Cues in Writing
Aroma vs Odor or Stench—Olfactory Cues in Writing
Mixing a Score in Words and Music—Sound Cues in Writing
Disgusting vs Delicious—Taste Cues in Writing
Hot or Cold, Rough or Smooth, Hard or Soft—Tactile Cues in Writing

Next article


Leave a Comment

Aroma vs Odor or Stench—Olfactory Cues in Writing

Well, which one is it, when you’re considering aroma vs odor or stench in your writing?

How Choosing Aroma vs Odor or Stench Affects Your Writing

I can’t recall where I read this (and it may have just been in a Facebook group on writing), but using three or more senses can really get your readers into the story. It’s a lot more intimate than just sketching.

For many of us, the visuals and the sound are kinda, sorta a no-brainer. At least, we realize that we should do them. But what about smells?

Perhaps the most vital part of this is knowing that we have a few different words for smells. It’s not just aroma vs odor or stench. Don’t forget there are also bouquet, smell, scent, stink, trace, perfume, and redolence.

Even the verb form can run the gamut of a delicate whiff to an animals’ sniff to a snort. So, let’s pull your readers in, by using smells.

You know, just like bakeries and their freshly-made cakes and cookies can bring in customers.

Why and How Aroma vs Odor or Stench Can Change Readers’ Perceptions

Your readers want to get into the storyline. But they might not be ‘getting it’. So, if you add some smells, they can, potentially, become more immersed.

The Pleasant Stuff: Aromas

In the prequel to The Real Hub of the Universe, Ceilidh sees roses for the first time, in the Barnes House in Ballyvaughan. For a life spent in poverty, roses are an exceptional luxury. It’s a testament to how wealthy the Barnes family is. At the same time, the aroma is a far cry from the working people of the village (I’ll get to them in a moment).

In The Obolonk Murders, Peri jokes with Dave that he has more personal grooming products than she does. During a particularly (ahem) intimate sex act, she smells one of his products, which is redolent of the tropics.

And in Mettle, when Mink returns, she uses very expensive shampoo and conditioner, left behind by the previous tenants.

There’s also, of course, the aromas of cooking in most of my work. The chef on Marnie’s ship makes chicken soup with matzoh balls—even though the chef is an Irish Catholic.

The Middle-of-the-Road Stuff: Smells

One of my favorite conceits in the Obolonk universe is that terraforming operations give off an odor that people want to mask. As a result, the orbs have their own signature smells. Venus, for example, smells like pineapple. These aren’t always the greatest smells (there’s an orb that smells like a fireplace). But, for the most part, it’s a pleasant experience.

It’s also an easy way to tell which orb you’re on.

The Icky Stuff: Stenches

In Ceilidh’s world, people quite simply don’t bathe as often as we do these days. And, when they do, her fellow villagers bathe in the deepest part of the Ballyvaughan creek. But in between occasions to go to the creek, the people work hard and they wear wool or flax for the most part.

In short, they’ve probably got a lot of body odor. This doesn’t get any better when she gets on a ship. There’s rotting fish, and of course it reeks.

And for Josie, a lot of the smells of cooking can make her gag, particularly in the morning. So, we might not be bothered by the smell of slightly burned meats. For her, it’s probably going to mean a trip to the head.

No Smells at All!

And finally, the aliens in Untrustworthy don’t have much in the way of noses. So, it’s not a big deal one way or the other how things smell.

Takeaways

You can truly elevate your writing by tackling multiple senses. It can be subtle like perfume, or overpowering, like a carcass.

Our sense of smell is fleeting. And, compared to dogs, it’s weak. But it can still evoke memory, and it can add another dimension to any scene.

Which aromas are wafting through your prose?

Want More of Using Aroma vs Odor or Stench and Other Background to Evoke the Senses in Writing?

If the idea of leveraging aroma vs odor or stench in your writing resonates with you, then check out my other articles about using sense cues.

Sense Cues:

Senses
Scene Setting
Set Dressing—Visual Cues in Writing
Hairstyles and Costumes—Visual Cues in Writing
Aroma vs Odor or Stench—Olfactory Cues in Writing
Mixing a Score in Words and Music—Sound Cues in Writing
Disgusting vs Delicious—Taste Cues in Writing
Hot or Cold, Rough or Smooth, Hard or Soft—Tactile Cues in Writing

Next articleClick to buy Untrustworthy on Amazon


Leave a Comment

Hairstyles and Costumes—Visual Cues in Writing

What do hairstyles and costumes really have to do with writing?

Hairstyles and Costumes and How They Can Help Your Readers Out

Now, you may very well be thinking that this kind of stuff does not, truly matter. So what if a character wears shorts or jeans? How could it matter if they wear their hair down, or in a ponytail?

A lot more than you may think.

Let’s start with clothes.

Clothes Maketh the Character

When I tell you that Nell‘s clothes are often too big for her, and that the burgundy down jacket she wears is really big on her and is shedding feathers, what do you think of? How about when I tell you that Jeannie wears a Gucci blouse that’s over the top?

And these are just examples from Mettle.

But there’s really no substitute for Untrustworthy when it comes to leveraging what the characters are wearing as a plot point. In that book, the people are told what to wear. There’s no choice. It’s a mandate.

So, as Tathrelle starts to figure out something is going on, the divisions between people based on clothing get deeper and deeper. And while I didn’t intend it that way, the thugs end up wearing black.

So, let’s go from top to bottom and see what we can determine, all right?

Hats

In Mettle, people wear hats for warmth. But in The Real Hub of the Universe, people wear them for style, and to indicate class.

Ceilidh‘s original hat is just a flat little thing to wear because you can’t go outside without a hat on. But when they want her to look rich, Devon buys her a better one. And she knows things are serious with Jake when he purchases her the latest style in bonnets.

As for Jake himself, I wanted the hat which Rhett Butler wears in Gone With the Wind—a plantation owner’s hat.

Plantation Owner's Hat (for sale at Poshmark). Image is for reference purposes only.
Plantation Owner’s Hat (for sale at Poshmark). Image is for reference purposes only.

This was not just because his family is wealthy, and they had owned slaves. It is also because, frankly (heh) I did not like the looks of other hats of the time.

Shirts and Blouses

There’s a big difference between a low cut, tight blouse versus a boxy, nondescript garment that someone is swimming in.

In The Enigman Cave, when they conduct first contact, Marnie does not want uniforms. So, the squad get different shirts. These include a shirt worn to remember a deceased person and another to commemorate a band.

Belts and Shoes, Pants and Skirts, Dresses and Jumpsuits

Much like Ceilidh needs a hat for basic decency, men probably needed belts. And, characters will likely need to be shod somehow. And, if they aren’t, the best example I can give of that mattering is in the film Die Hard.

Essentially, if a character is barefoot, is broken glass or the like too far behind?

Whether a character wears a skirt can depend on gender, tradition (kilts), or just fashion. But if Ceilidh was to wear pants, it would most likely be for only one purpose—to hide and play at being a man if necessary.

Dresses are Ceilidh’s uniform, more or less, even when she is not working.

But what about jumpsuits? They give off a cool sci fi vibe to a lot of people. One reason may be that they are less fussy. Also, the wardrobe department might not have to conjure up futuristic buttons. Although they will have to repair zippers, most likely.

Undergarments

For Ceilidh, it is corsets all the way. I had to research whether they would lace up in the front, or in the back, like for Scarlett in Gone With the Wind.

Fortunately, I found that she could wear a corset with the laces in the front. Otherwise, I would have had issues with her taking it off to sleep at night while traveling by ship (and with no other woman to help her).

Peri occasionally wears a black nightie for rollicking times with Dave Shepherd. Otherwise, I don’t really delve into underwear because I generally didn’t need to.

Outerwear

Apart from Nell’s down jacket, outerwear can be stylish, warm, waterproof, or an advertisement to everyone that the wearer is wealthy. Or, it can be none of these things. A shabby jacket with holes in it says a lot about a character.

When Ceilidh goes from wearing a shabby old cloak to a new pink coat which Devon buys for her, it’s a major step up in status.

Of course, there are other categories of clothing, but you get the idea, yes?

Hairstyles

There’s a difference between the bun Ceilidh wears originally, but in the prequel to Real Hub… she starts to wear her hair in a chignon. It’s a relatively similar hairstyle, except that it sits lower on the neck.

In part, it is a symbol of leaving younger and more girlish times behind and facing womanhood, ready or not.

For Marnie, a change in her attitude about herself starts to come about when she has the quartermaster touch up her dye job and give her a long-overdue haircut. But you may notice that Lex is nervous around her even before she undergoes this small makeover.

Peri’s hair is chin length, but in a flashback (it also shows up in the prequel), it’s long enough for a ponytail.

In Mettle, anyone with longish hair braids it, including Elise, who hasn’t done that since she was a kid.

And, in part, you can gauge the passage of time with Craig’s crewcut growing out—and it comes full circle, with Jeannie going from big Texas-style hair to culturally misappropriating dreadlocks.

In Untrustworthy, Tathrelle and Ixalla wear their hair a particular way because it’s the law.

Facial Hair

While I made Jake Radford and Devon Grace clean-shaven, many men of the Victorian era had at least a moustache. Another gauge of time passing in Mettle is the appearance of beards, and then their length.

Craig says of his own that he could make a fine living selling cough drops.

Hairstyles and Costumes Leads Me to Makeup

I don’t want to go too nuts with this. Ceilidh doesn’t wear makeup as that would be vulgar. Peri uses some and even jokes that Dave has more personal grooming products than she does. Marnie uses it at times.

As for Josie, it’s a display which she can control with a wave of her hand.

Ixalla and Tathrelle have never heard of it. And as for the people of Mettle, Kitty and Mink use a lot, but only at the start of the book. Otherwise, it becomes another thing to just drop as no longer being important.

Takeaways on Hairstyles and Costumes (and Makeup!)

Do your characters want to look sexy? Straightlaced? Cool? Like they belong? These basic details can clue your readers into how you see your characters—and how you want your readers to see them as well.

Hairstyles and costumes maketh the characters!

Want More of Using Hairstyles and Costumes and Other Background to Evoke the Senses in Writing?

If the idea of leveraging hairstyles and costumes in your writing resonates with you, then check out my other articles about using sense cues.

Sense Cues:

Scene Setting
Set Dressing—Visual Cues in Writing
Aroma vs Odor or Stench—Olfactory Cues in Writing
Mixing a Score in Words and Music—Sound Cues in Writing
Disgusting vs Delicious—Taste Cues in Writing
Hot or Cold, Rough or Smooth, Hard or Soft—Tactile Cues in Writing

Next article


Click to buy Untrustworthy on Amazon

Leave a Comment