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All my writing (writings?) from social media and financial services articles to science fiction novels and short stories.

Character Review — Frances Miller Ashford

Consider Frances Miller Ashford, One of My Original Characters

Who is Frances Miller Ashford? And just why, exactly, does she matter to the story?

When Ceilidh gets a job to work for the Edwards, the first thing readers should notice is: it’s a really big house. There are obviously going to be other people working there. Lots and lots of them!

If you have ever watched Downton Abbey or Upstairs, Downstairs, then you know exactly what I mean.

But at the same time, I knew that not everyone would know the nuances of Victorian era living. Plus, I needed to have a good way to get across the look and feel of the Edwards House.

There would have to be a character who would, at least in part, behave as a kind of expository mouthpiece.

Enter Frances.

Margaret Qualley, who I see as Frances Miller
Margaret Qualley, who I see as Frances Miller. Image is intended for reference purposes only.

Where Did Frances Miller Ashford Come From?

I wanted very much to have an immigrant much like Ceilidh but better settled in the story.

Also, I needed for Ceilidh to have someone she could talk to. Frances fills the bill rather nicely in both areas. Furthermore, I love the idea of exploring a female friendship like this.

Further, I needed Ceilidh to have someone who had an English accent she could emulate. It didn’t seem realistic to have Ceilidh remember Captain Underwood perfectly for years. But Frances was a lot more plausible.

Originally, her last name was Marshall, but then I had too many scenes with a character named Barry Marsh. The names were starting to get confusing. And I could not change Marsh’s name, as he was named after someone I know.

Hence, Frances got a slight tweak. I also like the newer name better, because it flows much better with her (spoiler alert!) married name.

The Past is Prologue — Backstory for Frances Miller Ashford

An orphan who never knew her family, I never actually wrote about her extremely early life. But Frances could have been the child of people who died—perhaps of any of the many diseases flying around Britain at the time.

Or she could have been the child of an unwed mother, left at a church or even the orphanage where she grew up. Her mother could have even been a prostitute.

I don’t see her as a female Oliver Twist, the child who’s in the orphanage but should have been raised by their own wealthy family.

No. Frances was to be a real foundling, with a hard beginning. For an almost traditional look at someone who raised themselves up from their bootstraps, she is the one to look to.

Was Frances Originally Jewish?

The more I read about the Manchester Jewish Board of Guardians, the more I wonder if I could make her a Jewish child. Conversion of orphans in orphanages appears to have been pretty common at the time.

The Board of Guardians is developed in 1859, though, and I put her birth at 1858. But this can work for the story line.

So, prior to the creation of an appropriate orphanage to place a Jewish child in, the possibility is high that such a foundling would be put in a non-Jewish orphanage.

For a very young baby, which Frances would be, there really wouldn’t be anyone to object to someone just quietly baptizing her. But then again, who would ask about her ‘real’ origin, who would find out?

And why would it matter to them? It feels like a secret for the sake of having a secret. Which isn’t a good enough reason to include it. Ah, well.

Coming to America

In keeping with what really happened to some people, I wanted Frances to have kind of gotten to Boston in a roundabout way. Ceilidh means to go to Boston. But Frances? Not necessarily.

As she got older, the orphanage was clearly going to toss someone like her out on her ear. The orphanage wouldn’t necessarily care if she ended up working, married, turning tricks, or dead. They would simply want her bed for some other, younger child.

And so I decided there would be someone who would come and promise the older girls husbands if they left the country. This would be an irresistible offer for not only someone like Frances, but also for many other young girls like her and the orphanage itself.

But when they arrive in the United States, there are no waiting husbands. The promise was a false one. And so, rather, Frances and her cohorts become Lowell Girls, working for a mill in the area.

After she bides her time, eventually, she gets a day off and ventures into the big city of Boston. Frances has many advantages: a pleasant voice and demeanor, a high class-sounding accent to someone like Mrs. Edwards, and a willingness to work hard.

As a result, Frances gets a job in the scullery. She doesn’t keep in touch with the other girls, and has no idea what happened to them.

Her rise is slow, deliberate, and patient. I want it to feel believable. Frances knows the world does not owe her a living.

Frances Miller Ashford, a Description

So, Frances has dark eyes and dark brown curls. I always hear her as having a somewhat breathy voice. Her British accent is via Manchester. It is the kind of accent Americans generally think of when we think of British accents. Posh accents, that is.

She is not cockney and is not some latter-day Eliza Doolittle.

I recently decided on actress Margaret Qualley to be the face of Frances Miller. It was a bonus that Qualley appeared in a show called Maid!

The idea behind Frances is that she almost blends into the background in the beginning. But, of course, she ends up being a lot bigger and more important than that. Ceilidh is a big part of Frances coming into her own as, of course, Gregory Ashford is, too.

Quotes

Coming from Ballyvaughan, Ceilidh has never used indoor plumbing before. In this scene, Frances explains what to do: ~

Frances lifted the lid, and showed Ceilidh there was a lacquered wooden seat. “Now here’s all you do, see. You lift the lid like so and let it rest against the back here, see? And then you gather your skirts or your nightgown up and sit down, facing the back.”

“Right, yes, I see.”

“And you do your business, of course. Then you take a sheet of these papers and use it cleanse yourself.”

“What do you do with the paper afterwards?”

“You place it into the bowl, where you just did your business.”

“And then what do you do?”

“You see the lever, and the little frog pull?”

“Yes, ‘tis rather amusing.”

“You pull once and hold it for as long as it takes in your head, to say,” Frances giggled a little, “God Save the Queen.”

“Truly?”

“Truly!”

Relationships

Frances has two main relationships.

Plumber’s Assistant Gregory Ashford

Her romantic one is with her husband, Gregory Ashford. They meet when the plumber is called in, to clear away a clog in the bathroom shared by all the women servants. Gregory is the assistant. While fixing the toilet, he and Ceilidh talk a little. He asks her, “Who is the vision?”

Ceilidh asks for clarification, and he says the vision has brown curls. Ceilidh makes sure to tell Gregory that Frances is Miss Frances Miller.

For Frances, Gregory is utterly unexpected. She and Ceilidh are what anyone of the time would have called old maids. While Frances has always wished and hoped for a family, she is a practical person at heart. Her dreams of love would not necessarily come true.

And so Gregory is a pleasant surprise. He is also kind and gentle and truly cares for her. Frances gets a middle class life, and that is perfect for her.

Ceilidh O’Malley

The only other relationship (really) for Frances is her close friendship with Ceilidh. When Ceilidh arrives, unsure of whether she’ll get work, Frances is the one to help Ceilidh along and assure she gets a job as a scullery maid. Frances wants a friend, someone she can talk to.

No one else in the Edwards household can fill that need for her.

And so Frances kind of puts her thumb on the scale and rigs Ceilidh’s test to be hired. Without Frances and her help, Ceilidh would not have gotten such a good job. And certainly nowhere near as quickly.

The truest of friends, Ceilidh convinces Frances to give Gregory a chance, because plumbers will always have work, so she’ll never starve. Coming from grinding poverty, that’s an enormous plus, so far as Ceilidh is concerned.

The biggest bonus is when Gregory turns out not only to be all right, but to truly be an almost (this is the 1870s and 1880s we’re talking about) equal partner.

Other Servants

Just like Ceilidh and other women of the time, Frances is a victim of what today we would refer to as sexual harassment.

Donald Smith is nasty to everyone, and he leers at virtually every woman he sees. This comes to a stop when Gregory finally steps in and makes it clear that Frances is his girl. At least Donald backs off.

With the other servants, Frances is cordial but not overly friendly. There is nothing about the woman who Ceilidh ends up replacing. I never mention her by name, and neither does Frances. And so I feel we can conclude that the two women were not too terribly close.

Conflict and Turning Point

In the first book, The Real Hub of the Universe, the conflict and turning point for Frances are nearly the same as those for Ceilidh. Without getting too far into spoiler territory, the real issue is that both Ceilidh and Frances could have lost everything.

When Judge Lowell helps out, Frances realizes she’s come from nothing, but has come to have powerful friends.

Her gratitude goes beyond measure. She will do nearly anything to return the favor that’s been granted to her.

By the time the series ends, she has achieved a great deal of the middle class dream. In particular, in comparison to someone like the wealthy Margery Cabot Edwards, Frances has true happiness.

Continuity/Easter Eggs

Gregory’s Brighton, Massachusetts house ties in with, of all things, Mettle. It’s just down the street from the house where Craig and Mei-Lin find the solar panels—about 140 years later.

Also, as an expository character, she aligns somewhat with Ixalla from Untrustworthy. But only a little. Ixalla, after all, is well-educated. Frances, while she can ostensibly read and write, has what is likely what we would call dyslexic today.

Also, her name ties her directly to Josie James’s sixth-eldest sibling, Frances Farrah James Walsh.

But Francie is a professional ballerina, and has a divorce in her past. She shares custody of her daughter, Gina, with her ex-husband, Clayton. Francie Walsh lives on Titania, a Uranian moon. Her ex has main custody of Gina and they live on another Uranian moon, Umbriel.

And so Frances and Francie really just share a name, but nothing else.

Future Plans

I don’t really have future places for her, simply because the series is done. But never say never, for I did write a few short one-offs with her, Ceilidh, Gregory, and Devon. She may very well turn up again. Here’s hoping!

There are also enough hints that there could very well be a sequel series if I ever get a true plot together…

Frances as an old woman could be truly compelling. With her birth in 1858, she could conceivably live into the 1930s. Without it being too much of a stretch, that is. Her earlier, harder life could even give her an advantage during the Great Depression.

But she would still be about seventy-one when it starts, and that’s pretty old for that era. For a person with a difficult early life, even a survivor like Frances Miller Ashford might not live past her sixties, if that.

Frances Miller Ashford: Takeaways

Every main character needs a sidekick, a kind of bounce off person. Frances is that type of character. This survivor, against all odds, is still sweet and charming. This makes her one of the more optimistic characters I have ever written.

Frances Miller Ashford — because so many main characters need a true best friend.


Want More of Frances Miller Ashford?

If Frances resonates with you, then please check out my other articles about them, Ceilidh, Johnny, Devon, Frances, and everyone else as they work to prevent an alien war from destroying human civilization by way of collateral damage.

Character Reviews:

Ceilidh O’Malley
Dr. Devon Grace
Frances Miller Ashford
Johnny Barnes
Shannon Duffy

Self-Review: The Real Hub of the Universe
Self-Review: The Real Heart of the Universe
and Self-Review: The Real Hope of the Universe

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Writing Progress Report – Third Quarter 2024

Progress Report – Third Quarter 2024

How was third quarter 2024 for writing? So, I spent the third quarter 2024 writing new short stories. Also, I spent time seriously considering the final Obolonk trilogy and its plot.

Third Quarter 2024 Posted Works

First of all, I worked on a number of new short stories. A lot of these had been drafted on paper and so I spent some time editing them. Current shorter works include A School for Scavengers and Lizzie Borden is Vital to the Timeline.

Another story was Message in an Odd Bottle. Also, there was the full-length novel story, The Duck in the Seat Cushion.

Then on Wattpad I posted nowhere, and really just went there in order to check on my stats.

Milestones

Also, I have written over 3.5 million words (fan fiction and wholly original fiction combined). So right now my stats on Wattpad for wholly original works are as follows:

• Dinosaurs – 42 reads, 11 comments
† How to NaNoWriMo – 26,183 reads, 340 comments (pulled from Wattpad due to their severing their association with NaNoWriMo)
• My Favorite Things (like kibble) – 992 reads, 133 comments
Revved Up – 59,486 reads, 531 comments
• Side By Side – 21 reads, 2 comments
† Social Media Guide for Wattpad – 16,862 reads, 592 comments
• The Canadian Caper – 510 reads, 37 comments
The Dish – 251 reads, 24 comments
• There is a Road – 189 reads, 28 comments

Published Works as of Third Quarter 2024

Also, I am amassing quite the collection of published works! So, here’s everything that has found a home so far.

Untrustworthy, which is my first published novel. So yay!

A True Believer in Skepticism, published in Mythic Magazine.

Almost Shipwrecked, a story in the January 2019 edition of Empyreome, a site which unfortunately is no more.

Canaries, a short story in the March 29, 2019, edition of Theme of Absence.

Complications, a story in the Queer Sci Fi Discovery anthology. So this is an anthology where the proceeds went to supporting the QSF website.

Cynthia and Wilder Bloom, stories in the Longest Night Watch II anthology.

Props, a story in the Longest Night Watch I anthology. So this is an anthology where the proceeds go to Alzheimer’s research.

Surprises, a story in Book One of the 42 and Beyond Anthology set.

The Boy in the Band, a story in the Pride Park anthology. So this is an anthology where the proceeds go to the Trevor Project.

The Interview, the featured story in the December 14, 2018 edition of Theme of Absence. So they even interviewed me!

The Last Patient, a story in the Stardust, Always anthology. This was an anthology where the proceeds go to cancer research.

The Resurrection of Ditte, a story in the Unrealpolitik anthology.

This is My Child, a short story published in the April 8, 2019 edition of Asymmetry Fiction, another site which is no more.

Three Minutes Back in Time, a short story published in Mythic Magazine.

Killing Us Softly, a short story published in Corner Bar Magazine.

Darkness into Light, a short story published in Corner Bar Magazine.

WIP Corner

So my current WIPs are as follows:

The Obolonk Murders Trilogy – so this one is all about a tripartite society. But who’s killing the aliens?

The Enigman Cave – can we find life on another planet and not screw it up? You know, like we do everything else?

The Real Hub of the Universe Trilogy – so the aliens who live among us in the 1870s and 1880s are at war. But why is that?

Mettle – so it’s all about how society goes to hell in a hand basket when the metals of the periodic table start to disappear. But then what?

Time Addicts – No One is Safe – so this one is all about what happens in the future when time travel becomes possible via narcotic.

Time Addicts – Nothing is Permanent – this is the second in this trilogy. What happens when time is tampered with and manipulated in all sorts of ways? It’s the ultimate in gaslighting, for one thing.

Time Addicts – Everything is Up For Grabs – as the timelines smack together and continue to diverge, it gets harder to tell the “real” timeline from all the newer fake ones. And what if some of the changes are for the better?

Prep Work

So currently, my intention, for 2025’s 30Day50k, is to write the third trilogy in the Time Addicts/Obolonks universe. But I need to iron out the plot! So a lot of this year has been spent on that. I have no name for this one yet. However, I think I’m getting closer….

For 2022 – 2024 NaNoWriMo/30Day50k, I wanted to create a prequel for each of the 5 main universes: Real Hub of the Universe, Obolonks, Time Addicts (while the Obolonks and Time Addicts are in the same universe, I just plain wanted to write two separate prequels!), Untrustworthy, The Enigman Cave, and Mettle.

In 2022, I wrote the prequels for Time Addicts and The Real Hub of the Universe. For 2023, it was the Untrustworthy prequel and Obolonk prequels.

And for 2024, 30Day50k will be the Enigman Cave and Mettle prequels.

So, I anticipate a lot of fun and perhaps a little confusion. But it’s all good!

Third Quarter 2024 Queries and Submissions

The older ones have moved. You can find them on my Publishing Stats page.

It’s been quiet. But that has been by design. Right now, I just plain don’t feel like putting myself out there these days. There, I said it.

In Progress

As of third quarter 2024, the following are still technically in the running for publishing:

This list is the name of the story and then the name of the potential publisher.

† I Used to Be Happy – Gemini Magazine
• Justice – Adbusters
† Mettle – RAB
• Soul Rentals ‘R’ Us – A Thousand One Stories
† Who Do We Blame for This? – Sonder Review

But it’s highly doubtful any of them will become acceptances this late in the game.

Third Quarter 2024 – Productivity Killers

So it’s looking for work, what else? But third quarter 2024 is about to segue into this year’s 30Day50k. I. Can’t. Wait.


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Character Review — Dr. Devon Grace

Consider Devon Grace, One of My Original Characters

Who is Devon Grace?

Dr. Devon Grace arose from, among other things, Peter Capaldi being tapped to play Dr. Who.

Where Did Devon Grace Come From?

Once Ceilidh is ensconced in Massachusetts, she needed something to do that wasn’t going to be just endless cookery and housework. And then the idea for Devon sprang up, and I realized it could drive the plot rather well.

The Past is Prologue — Backstory for Devon Grace

Rich and privileged, all Devon wants to do is heal people. But it’s the Victorian era, and he’s got a major secret.

He’s gay.

And so, his very existence is essentially illegal.

Female patients seem to sense something about him, so Devon becomes essentially an OB-GYN. He delivers babies and, eventually, women start to trust him to perform abortions. His track record is decent (after all, he’s no quack), but women still die.

It all goes wrong when a relative of a member of Parliament dies on the table.

Arrested, but then charged with buggery, Devon ends up in prison for a year. But he’s lucky. Since Dr. Grace is wealthy, at least he’s not executed.

Post-Disgrace

Banished from practicing medicine in the UK, he comes to America. But he feels horribly guilty and wants to atone. He does so by becoming what we would now call a Public Health Officer. In particular, he helps a morphine addict turn her life around.

Description

Peter Capaldi, who I see as Dr. Devon Grace
Peter Capaldi, who is the only person I see as Dr. Devon Grace

I see Peter Capaldi, hands down. There is no one else.

Purpose/Theme/Motivation

Like the other characters in the Universe of The Real Hub of the Universe, his motivation is to protect the Earth. Much like Ceilidh, he has a redemption arc. Finding love, and finding purpose, are key.

And, along the way, he even finds a more traditional-ish family, marrying Ellen Remy and adopting her son, Richard, who was born out of wedlock.

For Devon, Ellen, and Richard, it’s truly the best of all possible outcomes. She gets security and a degree of respectability, with her son’s future assured. Richard gets a father and a more stable life. And Devon gets a way to return to Scotland legally.

Quotes (to help out Ceilidh in the Charles Street Jail, Devon poses as her husband)

When the church bells rang for one, the jailhouse’s bell rang and Gregory Ashford arrived, looking concerned. Less than half an hour later, the bell rang again, and Ceilidh heard Devon’s voice. “I will visit this prisoner when I please,” he complained.

“Oh, really? And who might you be?” asked the captain.

Devon came close to the bars and Ceilidh could see he was wearing an unfamiliar cloak. Either he had purchased something new, or it was Shannon. He nodded to her and she approached. Unexpectedly, Devon took both her hands in his and kissed them and then said to Marsh, “I am her husband.”

Relationships

For someone who wanted to be left alone in his misery, he ends up making friends and more.

Ceilidh O’Malley

As originally his employee, Ceilidh is a combination serving girl, maid, valet, and confidante. They become closer when they reveal their secrets to each other.

At her annulment hearing, he cosplays as a priest, the third necessary for a hearing. No one needs to be the wiser.

Ellen Remy

Devon loves children and sees an injustice in how Ellen and Richard are treated by most people. He proposes marriage to fix that, but also for his own purposes.

If he can convince the authorities that he’s a changed man (which we would just see as him being forced even further into the closet), he can go back to Scotland to live.

At first, Ellen is afraid he’s in love with her but she doesn’t feel the same way about her. But they come to an understanding.

Carlos

Devon’s old friend is an important member of SPHERE in Europe. They can joke and laugh and end up in love.

Shannon Duffy

The entity known as Shannon Duffy has odd relationships with most human beings. With Devon, the relationship is cordial. They play draughts a lot, and team up to help Ceilidh and Jake and the rest of SPHERE.

Conflict and Turning Point

When the Yarinduin and the Xolana attack, Devon is right in the thick of it.

Continuity/Easter Eggs

Since I also see Capaldi as David Shepherd, I’ve had an intriguing idea. Perhaps Shepherd’s real name should be Devon Grace? I confess I rather like the idea.

Peter Capaldi, who I see as Dr. Devon Grace
Peter Capaldi, who I see as Dr. Devon Grace. Image is for reference purposes only.

Future Plans for Devon Grace

He will not be a part of the Real Hub of the Universe prequel. But never say never.

If I write another prequel, he would be a fascinating character to cover.

Devon Grace: Takeaways

Complex, sardonic, rueful, but ultimately kind, Devon Grace was a great character to create.

Devon Grace — a doctor character ahead of his time.


Want More of Devon Grace?

If Devon resonates with you, then check out my other articles about Ceilidh, Johnny, Devon, Frances, Shannon and everyone else as they work to prevent a temporally jacked-up genocide.

Character Reviews:

Ceilidh O’Malley
Dr. Devon Grace
Frances Miller Ashford
Johnny Barnes
Shannon Duffy

Self-Review: The Real Hub of the Universe
Self-Review: The Real Heart of the Universe
and Self-Review: The Real Hope of the Universe

Next article


Leave a Comment

Character Review — Ceilidh O’Malley

Consider Ceilidh O’Malley, One of My Original Characters

Who is Ceilidh O’Malley?

The main character in The Real Hub of the Universe series is someone I originally thought of as “a plucky Irish scullery maid”. But then she grew and changed. And I like her better now. Readers seem to love her, too.

To get truly technical and formal, this character is Ceilidh Aisling O’Malley Barnes Radford.

Oh, and her name is pronounced Kay-Lee, and her middle name, Ashling. Dance and dream.

Where Did Ceilidh O’Malley Come From?

The name came to me first. Because the idea behind Real Hub was to marry science fiction with the Victorian Era, the perfect character to observe the goings on would be in the serving class.

With a story that goes from the serving class to the Boston Brahmins and back again, she could be there for all of it.

The Past is Prologue — Backstory for Ceilidh O’Malley

Considered an old maid in her tiny home village of Ballyvaughan, Ceilidh, her sister Maeve, and her mother are starving. The crops are unreliable, and the entire village is barely on the right side of grinding poverty.

And that even includes the most powerful family in Ballyvaughan, the Barneses.

Ceilidh has stayed away from the men in her village. She’s a cousin of some degree to near all of them. But it’s more than that. She’s just plain not interested in them.

A part of this is because she (and one of the Barnes sons) is the best student in the one-room, multi-year schoolhouse. The teacher? Her father. But by the time she’s in her teens, her father has died of what was likely food poisoning. Things are not looking good.

And so, even though Maeve likes him, it’s Ceilidh who’s married off to the middle Barnes son, Johnny. When Johnny attacks her, she flees the country and the story begins, as does the Real Hub of the Universe series.

Description

Extremely pale, yet with the map of Ireland on her face, Ceilidh is semi-unique looking. But not so much that she should seem out of place. What I didn’t want was a stereotypical redheaded, freckle-faced Irish Colleen.

I decided Ceilidh would resemble Naomi Watts, an actress I like a great deal, particularly because she doesn’t seem to be afraid of looking her age.

Purpose/Theme/Mo

Naomi Watts (as Gertrude in Ophelia) - looking a bit like Ceilidh O'Malley
This is Naomi Watts (as Gertrude in Ophelia) – looking a bit like Ceilidh O’Malley but probably too well-dressed and not as young as I’d like

Motivation

Ceilidh’s original motivator is getting away/lying. When she leaves Ballyvaughan, it’s essentially under false pretenses. But she can’t stay.

Her struggle to not only survive, but to turn her life around, is at the heart of the series.

Quotes (Ceilidh is talking to Dr. Devon Grace, who speaks first)

“And so you left?”

“Yes. I packed and my cousin was still in the village but he was leaving. So I went with him. He took me to Kinvara and I got passage on the Atlas because Captain Underwood took pity on me. We stopped in Cornwall and I met his wife and befriended her. She agreed to be the go-between for me and my mother and sister. Helen has kindly forwarded letters and even money to them for a few years now. She has exceeded my expectations a thousandfold.”

“And your mother and sister know nothing of your whereabouts?”

“That’s correct. They don’t even know I’m in America.”

Relationships

Ceilidh, like many characters, is well-defined by her relationships in life. Friend, family member, and employee—and eventually employer—she does it all.

Friendships

A true, understanding friend, Ceilidh feels it’s important to help her friends whenever she can.

Frances Miller Ashford

Ceilidh’s first friend in the states is fellow scullery maid, Frances Miller. In fact, Frances makes it easier for Ceilidh to pass a test to be able to work at the Edwards House.

To return the favor, Ceilidh works to bring Frances’s admirer, plumber’s assistant Gregory Ashford, to the house more often so the two can get to know one another. The two women are so close that they are in each other’s weddings.

Shannon Duffy

Shannon is a strange creation of mine, essentially a colony of tiny cells which, together, make up a form of collective intelligence. The colony chooses her by vote, as they choose virtually everything else. When they meet, it’s almost by random.

Shannon, at the time called Levi Altschuler, is being chased by a number of bullies in the Boston Public Garden. Running from them, Shannon runs directly into Ceilidh and knocks her down.

But when the bullies catch up, Ceilidh rises to defend Shannon, even though they have never seen each other before.

Shannon helps her in several different ways (trying to avoid too many spoilers here!), including helping Dr. Grace to save her life.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

This very real figure from history is initially snobbish and somewhat mean to a mere serving girl. But they grow on each other, and he takes the place of her father in some ways.

As he ages, he slows down and suffers what we would recognize as a form of senile dementia, possibly Alzheimer’s disease. She cares for him whenever they are in the same room together and mourns him when he dies.

Dr. Devon Grace

Devon is Ceilidh’s originally stern and mysterious employer. He likes her discretion and company, and she, initially, enjoys bouncing ideas off him. In that way, he’s also something of a father surrogate to her.

She accepts his faults, smooths out at least some of his rough edges, keeps his secrets, and they both make each other better.

Devon’s greatest gift to her is given in Ireland.

Ellen Remy Grace

As Ellen lives in somewhat genteel poverty, Ceilidh can relate. And when Ellen’s employment prospects are nearly zero due to her having an illegitimate child, it’s Ceilidh who gives the semi-starving woman a sandwich.

And it’s Ceilidh who treats Ellen like a friend and not a pariah. In her own way, Ceilidh also realizes Ellen is in mourning and has lost a great deal more than just her reputation.

Judge John Lowell and the Other Members of SPHERE

SPHERE, the secret society at the heart of the story, is the source of several relationships for Ceilidh.

Apart from Winthrop Edwards, all the members of SPHERE are real historical figures. Lowell is Ceilidh’s second employer. He treats her well and gives her responsibilities she would normally never have gotten. He and his wife treat her fairly.

Henry Adams is mainly aloof, but in the third book, he confides that he and a woman he corresponds with are involved in what we would nowadays call an emotional affair.

George Weld had been a yachtsman, but by the time Ceilidh knows him, he’s becoming disabled (possibly due to a stroke). Much like with Emerson in his later years, Ceilidh fetches him tea, helps him up and down stairs, and otherwise treats him with special care.

Alexander Graham Bell joins later, and he’s initially suspicious that a woman could possibly be a good confidante. She wins him over, in a way—but lets Mrs. Lowell speak up when Bell argues at a party that women should never be working.

When Emerson dies, Ceilidh turns to SPHERE member Bronson Alcott to take his place as the father figure in her life. Delighted, Alcott makes her promise to keep in close touch.

Finally, Winthrop Edwards is Ceilidh’s first employer in the US. Snobbish and very private, we get to know him better in the second and third books than we ever do in the first.

Family

Ceilidh’s family relationships are complex, mainly due to the tininess of her home village (so she’s related to pretty much everyone) and her immediate family’s grinding poverty.

Her beloved father dies when she is young, and so her mother, she, and her sister are forced to fend for themselves. And it does not go well at all.

Mam (Mary O’Malley)

When the first book starts, Mary has been backed into a financial corner. She and her family are members of the cottier class, a kind of tenant farmer.

But when the crops fail too many times in a row, Mary knows that Maeve in particular probably won’t survive for too much longer.

As a result, Mary surveys her valuables and essentially “sells” one of them—Ceilidh—for more food for all of them.

For the time, Mary’s actions are justifiable and even kind. Giving up Ceilidh to the Barnes family means her elder daughter will never starve. And it also means that the meager rations she, Maeve, and Ceilidh have been living on can instead be split between two people.

Furthermore, a connection to the Barnes family means occasional meals or at least allowances to be late with the rent. Jack Barnes is already Mary’s cousin. But handing over Ceilidh strengthens that.

When we finally meet her in Book Two, Mary is a doting grandmother but still starving, giving her share to her grandsons even if that means it could eventually kill her.

Maeve O’Malley Barnes

With Maeve, things are complicated. But that’s understandable. Much like in the Old Testament story of Rachel and Leah, it’s Maeve who’s originally pledged to Johnny. But things go south when the family goes through yet another bad winter.

And Johnny doesn’t want to wait for what at the time was called ‘wifely duties’.

Mary is cognizant enough of Maeve’s ill health to offer up Ceilidh instead. Ceilidh is about twenty, an old maid pretty much anywhere. Maeve is fifteen, and technically old enough to wed.

After Ceilidh flees Ballyvaughan, Johnny and Maeve take up anyway. And when Ceilidh, Jake, Shannon, and Devon go to Ballyvaughan in the third book, Ceilidh discovers Maeve is living in her cottage. Ceilidh’s cottage, that is.

Yep, like they say on Facebook, “it’s complicated”.

People Ceilidh Doesn’t Like

While technically Johnny Barnes should be here, he belongs in the next section. These people aren’t necessarily enemies, per se. But they’re not pals with Ceilidh all the same.

Margery Cabot Edwards

Like in many wealthy American households of the time, it’s the lady of the house who is in charge of the servants. Mrs. Lowell is fair and smart, running her house like a business.

Margery Cabot Edwards, on the other hand, is a snobby, spoiled rich girl, more than happy to treat all of her household help like dirt. But her maltreatment is a catalyst to get Ceilidh to find work elsewhere, with the Lowells.

Gerald Price

The lesser of the two louts working for the Lowell House, Gerald is a sexist, but that was par for the course at the time. This stable hand is a bit too nosy for his own good, but otherwise he and Ceilidh mainly stay out of each other’s way.

Ceilidh’s semi-revenge is to hire Gerald in Book Three.

Gerald has his name because I’ve been in more than one working situation where a guy named Jerry was just the biggest jerk.

My apologies to those who love people named Jerry (and hey, how about Jerry O’Connell?)! But I will often name a jerk in my writing Jerry, and that’s the case in the Time Addicts trilogy as well.

Donald Smith

This character got his name due to the election of the 45th/47th president, a person who has never impressed me.

In the books, Donald is the gardener to not only the Edwards and Lowell Houses, but really to all or most of the Boston Brahmins. Talented and hard-working, he turns that on its head and uses his good qualities to get away with a lot.

As a result, he has a girlfriend in nearly every house he works in, and most if not all of those relationships are sexual in nature.

With Ceilidh, he’s rough and nasty. Jealous of her education and her position with Devon, he’s also sexually attracted to her. He calls her Duchess, and he’s not trying to be flattering.

Donald’s comeuppance happens in Book Three (if you’ve only read the first two, trust me, it’s coming), and I spent a lot of time trying to come up with what would punish him the most. Did I succeed? You tell me.

Romantic Relationships

Johnny Barnes

The first time we see Johnny, he’s attacking Ceilidh for having the audacity to try to bring him home after he’s been on a multi-day bender. Most women of the time would have accepted his treatment, although a lot of Irish villages and towns would have held a shivaree.

While Johnny’s behavior is far from defensible, some of it stems from marrying the wrong sister. In some small way, he loves Maeve, but he doesn’t treat her much better than he does Ceilidh.

But at least with Maeve, he ostensibly provides care for her and their sons. Well, kinda.

Jacob Radford

Their meeting is far from auspicious, as they first see each other at the Charles Street Jail, on opposite sides of bars. But there is something about Jake. Originally, he’s just her handsome, pleasant, polite suitor.

And when he learns the truth of her marital status (covered in her quote, above), he’s all set to do the honorable thing and bow out. But when he learns why she’s in America, he takes up her cause and is a large part of proving her case in the annulment hearing.

When they wed, he reveals real heat under his manners and Southern charm, and their sex life is certainly more active and consensual than it was for a lot of women at the time.

But the time they truly grow close is when he reveals his secrets to her about his service in the Civil War.

And when both of them see a possible future for themselves, he includes her in decision-making, treating her far more like an equal than most husbands did in the 1870s and 1880s.

Click to buy Untrustworthy on Amazon

Conflict and Turning Point for Ceilidh O’Malley

Ceilidh experiences several turning points within the series, and the first one happens in the first scene. When the series starts, it’s 1876. In this time period, most women would have accepted abuse as their lot in life.

But not Ceilidh. She’s not going to continue pretending everything is fine.

In the second book, I tackle more of her marriage to Johnny. The abuse is just the cherry on a nasty sundae.

Without giving away too many spoilers, Ceilidh changes with major upheavals in her life. This is whether they’re from the start or end of relationships, or from external factors like trouble with the law. And, of course, the main change in her life is by aliens.

Continuity/Easter Eggs

Second Harrison Gray Otis House, Mount Vernon St., Boston
                                                                                               Ceilidh lives in two separate houses when she gets to the states. The first is at 85 Mount Vernon Street (the second Harrison Gray Otis House, pictured above). The other one is at 60 Beacon Street. Both are on Beacon Hill in Boston and are exceptionally expensive properties.

Future Plans for Ceilidh O’Malley

I don’t necessarily have a lot of plans for Ceilidh, because I have already finished the trilogy.

But people love her, and I suspect her early life or her future could be of interest to readers. So, I may not have seen the last of her.

Ceilidh O’Malley: Takeaways

For a character whose first appearance is a beating, Ceilidh O’Malley grows to become somewhat middle class. She grows to become a certainly respectable member of Boston society.

And she ends up with powerful friends, a great love, and a promising future. Her happy ending is the kind any of us would wish for.

Ceilidh O’Malley — a character who turns around completely.


Want More of Ceilidh O’Malley?

If Ceilidh resonates with you, then please be sure to check out my other blog posts about Ceilidh, Johnny, Devon, Frances, Shannon and everyone else as they work in order to prevent a temporally jacked-up genocide.

Character Reviews:

Ceilidh O’Malley
Dr. Devon Grace
Frances Miller Ashford
Johnny Barnes
Shannon Duffy

Self-Review: The Real Hub of the Universe
Self-Review: The Real Heart of the Universe
and Self-Review: The Real Hope of the Universe

Next blog post


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Reviewing – Positive Reviews

Positive Reviews

Consider this: positive reviews are the lifeblood of any independent author. We live for them! And they help us sell more books, which is really awesome. But how can you make them even better?

Caveats

Don’t provide a positive review in exchange for a positive one you just got. And don’t provide one in the hopes that you’ll get one in return. Personally, I very rarely give out five stars. A book has to truly leave me sock-free. I can enjoy a book immensely but still not give it five stars. However, I give out a lot of 3- and 4-star reviews, particularly to indie authors.

And if my review is a positive one, I spread it to as many places as I can.

Length

Just saying you loved a piece is not enough. It’s better than nothing, of course. But you, too, are a writer. You can do better than that! While you don’t have to hit an actual word count, it is more helpful if you give the review some time and attention. Naturally, if you are pressed for time or you have to do a lot of reviews, then you will not get into things like you would if your time was more open.

Plus it does not have to be a novel. A 50 – 150 word review should do nicely, unless it is a blog post. In that case, best practices for blog posts is 300 or more words. So adjust accordingly.

Specificity

Writers often get crippling self-doubt. Imposter syndrome is common. Generalized reviews don’t help much. Be clear about what you loved.

Scarlet O’Hara was a strong female character in a man’s world. What is most impressive about her is the fact that she was written in 1936. Hence Margaret Mitchell was almost revolutionary in writing her. While today we might scoff at some of Scarlet’s machinations, she still manages to be a memorable and memorably flawed character. Her motivations are clear and logical. Her endgame is satisfying.

While the author is no longer alive to read my praise, the paragraph still gets across my admiration for the work (I do, for real, like the book, although it’s not one of my absolute favorites, and I know it’s problematic). This is also a meatier review than just “It’s great!” The review does not just make the writer feel good; it also provides vital information for potential readers. As a result, it’s can help more with sales.

Spoiler-Free Positive Reviews

Please don’t give away the ending! My above review snippet about Gone With the Wind does not give away the ending. In fact, it gives away just about none of the plot at all.

I would write a longer review (the above bit is really just a part of it) where I would probably mention the US Civil War and Rhett Butler. I might get into Ashley Wilkes and Melanie Hamilton, particularly if I were writing a blog post and needed to make word count.

Spread the Love

There are several online places which take reviews.

Amazon reviews most directly affect a writer’s sales and potential sales. If you provide positive reviews on an obscure book blog read by only a few people, then the impact will not be as great. You can also review on other countries’ versions of Amazon (UK, Canada, etc.), GoodReads, CreateSpace, Barnes & Noble, or iBooks.

Positive Reviews Should Have a Call to Action to Read the Author’s Other Works

A call to action is anything from ‘click here’ to ‘buy this’. It is a statement online whereby you are asking someone to do something. It does not have to feel like a hard sell. Instead, you can write things like:

• This book was fun and I can’t wait to see what else the writer has written.
† I hear there is a sequel and I can’t wait.
• I checked out the writer’s Amazon page (provide the link) and they are blogging there. I’m excited to read what they have to say.

Above all, you are really doing someone a solid.

Positive reviews will make ANY author’s day! #amreviewing


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Reviewing – Middling Reviews

Middling Reviews

Let’s be honest: fair to middling reviews are harder to write than either positive reviews or negative ones. Why? Because there is definitely a skill involved. But you are probably going to write more of them than any other type of review. Why is that? Because truly superlative works are uncommon. At least, they should be.

As always, kindness should be your guide. The work isn’t out and out awful. It just needs some help. Mid-level reviews can be extremely helpful. They can provide valuable feedback for a new author. Because it is sweetened with praise and other positives, it is more palatable.

Consider the Audience

But who is most likely to read your review? If you review on Amazon, then anything you write is going to rather directly affect someone’s sales and potential sales. If you review on an obscure book blog read by only a few people, then the impact will not be as great.

So what happens if you post your middle of the road review only on the obscure book blog? Once the writer sees the review, he or she might not want to push for you to share it on Amazon, GoodReads, CreateSpace, Barnes & Noble, or iBooks. Or maybe the author will want to see your review spread all over the internet. It’s hard to say. Your mid-level review may be the best one they get.

And consider that the sheer number of reviews an author gets on Amazon will help with sales. A book with 500 reviews of varying stars and enthusiasm levels will have a link in at least 500 places (each reviewer has a page—wait, you didn’t know that?). If you click on the name of a reviewer, it lists all of their reviews.  But a book with 5 stellar reviews? It’s only listed on the pages of 5 reviewers.

Now, both are important. But you can see that a volume of reviews will help an author. And if the best you can muster up is a fair to middle review, then go for it.

The Value of Middling Reviews

For a new author, potential buyers are often suspicious of 100% stellar reviews. Hence if the 5-star reviews are peppered with some 3-stars, then potential buyers tend to feel more comfortable that they are seeing accurate reviews that were not bought and paid for.

Furthermore, if the author has enough reviews (the number seems to be ten or more), Amazon will sort them by most helpful positive and most helpful negative. If your middling reviews are the most helpful negative reviews, that can actually help writers.

So, how do you get started?

The Shit Sandwich

Yeah, you read that right. Since this is not going to be a wholly negative review, you can split it into thirds. This makes it feel less unremittingly negative. The first third should be the smallest or smaller positive thing you have to say. In the middle is the negative thing you need to say. Finally, end with your strongest positive.

But why am I suggesting this particular order? Let’s look at some examples.

Consider These Examples of Middling Reviews

1. The Cowardly Lion character was fantastic and very credible. The Tin Woodsman was dull. Dorothy was okay.
2. The Dorothy character was all right but could have used some work. The Tin Woodsman was hard to take at times. My favorite character was the Cowardly Lion.
3. The Tin Woodsman was terrible. Dorothy was passable. The Cowardly Lion was amazing.

In the first example, you might think it’s a purely positive review. It’s easy to forget the negative in the middle when the positive starts off so strongly. In the third example, the writer is put on the defensive nearly immediately. The review feels negative, even though the end is positive.

Further, in the second instance, the first part is generally positive albeit with constructive criticism. The middle part is negative. But it gives a specific reason for the reviewer’s negative reaction. This is also something the writer could potentially build on and fix in later works. And the final part adds a positive personal touch.

Of course you would never write such a simplistic review. Plus you are reading this blog but you are not the author of The Wizard of Oz. So, these quickie reviews are not personal to you. Therefore, substitute your own work, and consider how each review would make you feel.

Length

Because this is not a negative review, you can add some length to it. But because it’s not unremittingly positive, it does not have to be lengthy. The ideal length is probably about 50 to 100 words. If you want to say more, contact the writer in private. For self-published works, editing and republishing are usually pretty easy. Hence if you find a glaring translation error, the writer can fix it. You can save the day with your review.

Ending on a High Note

End with a positive. Seriously. Don’t lie, but there is no reason to be nasty. Be encouraging; so many indies suffer self-doubt. This is your opportunity to be kind. After all, next time, you may be in the hot seat.

Middling reviews — semi-tough love for writers. #amreviewing


Click to buy Untrustworthy on Amazon

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RIP NaNoWriMo

Dammit. So, have you heard the latest, about how NaNo has essentially shot themselves in the foot, again? This one is harder to forgive than the community management debacle. And so, I am drawing a line in the sand (finally, I suppose). Sorry, but RIP NaNoWriMo.

Why Would I Ever Say RIP NaNoWriMo? And Why Now?

I’ll start from the semi-beginning. NaNoWriMo was fun and cute and kinda wholesome. It’s how Untrustworthy was published in the first place. Then, in the last year or so, their forums moderation truly fell apart.

Apparently, pedo-type content was being served to minors. Lovely, not.

And so, NaNo decided, okay, we’ll certify our volunteer moderators. But then I thought, well, it’s not great, but it’s something. And, I’ve seen plenty of places simply fall down when it came to moderation. Yeah, I’m looking at you, Facebook.

And, in retrospect, it feels like the issue with content moderation was almost inevitable. Why? Because they really didn’t have good safeguards in place, and there were minors on the site, with very little supervision.

But now, AI is the issue. So, WTF NaNoWriMo?

Why am I Saying RIP NaNoWriMo Now?

It all started on my birthday. Er, thanks, universe. NaNoWriMo put out this FAQ about AI.

In case they yank it later, it starts off like this:

NaNoWriMo does not explicitly support any specific approach to writing, nor does it explicitly condemn any approach, including the use of AI.

Sounds kinda promising, eh?

If they had stopped there, I could have cautiously thrown my support, albeit with some personal reservations about it.  But then, they added this:

We believe that to categorically condemn AI would be to ignore classist and ableist issues surrounding the use of the technology, and that questions around the use of AI tie to questions around privilege.

Wait, what?

Classism

NaNo wrote:

Not all writers have the financial ability to hire humans to help at certain phases of their writing. For some writers, the decision to use AI is a practical, not an ideological, one. The financial ability to engage a human for feedback and review assumes a level of privilege that not all community members possess.

Using AI as a spellchecker or a grammar checker is not the issue, or at least it should not be. And if people aren’t in critique groups or can’t find one or don’t like them, using AI instead is, I suppose, a decent substitute.

So far, so good. Kinda, sorta.

But I’m already uncomfortable.

Ableism

NaNo wrote:

Not all brains have same abilities and not all writers function at the same level of education or proficiency in the language in which they are writing. Some brains and ability levels require outside help or accommodations to achieve certain goals. The notion that all writers “should“ be able to perform certain functions independently or is a position that we disagree with wholeheartedly. There is a wealth of reasons why individuals can’t “see” the issues in their writing without help.

This is why editors exist. Critique partners and groups. Friends. Hell, the reviews on Amazon (assuming they’re not just from someone with an axe to grind) can help to do this.

As real-life writers who I know, who are disabled have said—we (er, they) may do it more slowly, but they can still git ‘er done. And without dragging AI into it.

General Access Issues

NaNo wrote:

All of these considerations exist within a larger system in which writers don’t always have equal access to resources along the chain. For example, underrepresented minorities are less likely to be offered traditional publishing contracts, which places some, by default, into the indie author space, which inequitably creates upfront cost burdens that authors who do not suffer from systemic discrimination may have to incur.

… and what? The fact that some writers have less financial means than others is nothing new. And the fact that a good cover is expensive? Not news, either. Is this to somehow wrap the use of AI for a cover in virtue? Well, I got some virtue-style news for NaNo.

Given that AI is trained on all sorts of stuff with no artist permissions, it is the biggest copyright infringer on the planet. So, what’s better? A lousy cover that at least you own? But you don’t sell anything? Or a sharpish AI cover which infringes and looks creepy?

And maybe you don’t sell anything with the AI cover, either. It’s not like it’s a guarantee, or anything.

Therefore, don’t they both stink, not just in terms of virtue, but in terms of feeling like you’re doing the right thing?

Or, hey, here’s an idea.

How about paying an actual artist?

Oh, and Here’s Another Reason Not to Use AI

Training an AI model is problematic because it’s got a huge carbon footprint. Much like, surprise, surprise—cryptocurrency.

But, but Costs!

Yeah, I get it. It’s not cheap. Nope, it’s not. Writing is a pretty expensive hobby/side gig.

So, try Fiverr.

Here’s another idea. Work with someone you know who’s got a decent handle on Photoshop or Adobe InDesign, and get a good photograph. How do you get a good photograph? Take one if you’re talented or pay someone you know who’s talented.

Or buy one from a place that sells stock photos.

Another idea? Save your pennies. And yeah, it won’t happen immediately. Maybe your up to the minute, ripped from the headlines thriller is a rush and should be out there ASAP.

But that’s an exception, not the rule.

Here’s a Little Secret

Shh. Tell no one!

But seriously, folks. The world can wait a bit for your novel about a vampire rodeo rider from Alpha Centauri who fights crime in their spare time.

Dang, now I want to write this.

But in the meantime, I hate to say it, but the world can wait. There’s no reason to feel it’s got to get a release date of right now, no matter how impatient you may be.

I’m sorry, but it’s over. It’s not me, it’s you. So RIP NaNoWriMo. We had a good run, you and me. I loved you fiercely. But it’s over.

But What About This November and the Others, Ever Onward?

So, here’s another little secret.

You don’t need them, and neither do I. We can write whenever we want to. I loved the urgency of it, and the event feeling of it. But the event feeling has been gone for a while now. And guess what? I (and you, too) can create my own urgency.

I like doing this in November, partly for nostalgic reasons but also because it’s a holiday-like event. And I like that it’s near the end of the year, but not quite.

This gives me an incentive to plan all year, particularly in October.

So, I’ll be doing something similar. But I’ll call it 30Day50k.

You want to join me? It’s free. There are no forums. No police. And no counters. It’s totally the honor system. Ain’t got no prizes.

Just… write.

RIP NaNoWriMo. And long live 30Day50k.

So, RIP NaNoWriMo FerRealz

I received this on March 31, 2025, and, frankly, it just plain saddens me.

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Character Creation

Let’s Look at the Background of Character Creation

Character creation is rather personal. It depends on how organized you are, and how much you like to plan. So every writer’s character creation will vary. This is what I tend to do. However, my methods are not necessarily the best or the most consistent ones.

Your mileage, when it comes to character creation, will undoubtedly vary. And that is perfectly okay.

Origins for Some of My Character Creation

For me, characters arise in a few ways. One is just that I can ‘hear’ their ‘voices’. Or I might see a face clearly. Lots of situations or activities can create a focus.

One way is, I might walk around my neighborhood and consider what I see. This is whether it’s something from nature or just someone’s illegally parked car. Music in particular can be helpful for this, although it is not absolutely necessary.

For a fanfiction bad girl character I named Pamela Hudson, her personality came barreling in when I heard the Amy Winehouse song, You Know I’m No Good.

And sometimes, characters just appear, fully formed. I tend to consider names in the context of how they sound and what they mean.

Hence a character like Marnie Shapiro Chase came out of nowhere because I liked how her name sounded. Then I worked on putting her together. The same was true of Colonel Craig Firenze. He started off sounding good and I built from that.

For Josie James, I didn’t hear her voice until I changed her name from Jodie James.

Character Creation: Ethnicity

Still other characters might arise out of names and ethnicity. Or even national origin. Jazminder Parikh and Akanksha Kondapalli are both Indian women, but Jazzie is a doctor, whereas Akanksha is an attorney.

I also tend to like someone to be from the southern US. Hence Jeannie Louise Scutter and Patricia LaRue arose.

Characters from the UK might be Dave Shepherd, super-spy, or Dr. Devon Grace. Plus there are also scullery maids Frances Miller and Ceilidh O’Malley. And psychiatrist Dr. Carmen D’Angelo. So it runs the gamut of rich and poor.

In addition, I try to write some characters of races different from my own. These run the gamut from Dr. Elise Jeffries and Dr. Mei-Lin Quan to Solar System President Fankald Williams and her sister, Tamara Woods.

What’s in a Name?

While draping a character around the meaning of their name is kind of silly, it can sometimes help to inspire. I liked the name Ceilidh O’Malley, and it was a bonus that her name means a type of jig.

Hence someone who grew up in grinding poverty had a rather frivolous name. So I gave her the middle name of Aisling, which is Irish Gaelic for dream.

Dave Shepherd didn’t originate as a protector in the Obolonk universe, but as I wrote him, he became one.

Other characters just almost tell me their names. This was certainly the case with Craig Firenze and Kitty Kowalski in Mettle. In Mettle, the two bratty tweens were always going to be Kitty and Mink. Tathrelle was another name that sprang up, for Untrustworthy.

Frances always existed in The Real Hub of the Universe, but her surname started off as Marshall, not Miller. But I ended up changing her name, as a character named Marsh was mentioned too often with her.

Other characters are named for people I know, in whole or in part. The Enigman Cave is particularly chock full of such characters.

It’s everyone from the Chief Veterinarian to a space defender to the Chief Engineer. The Real Hub of the Universe has some, including the Chief of Police. Plus the Ashford baby is named for a man I know from the online writing community.

Character Creation: Time to Show Some Emotion

Characters also exist to make the main character feel something. And this isn’t always something good. Ben Chase exists to piss Marnie off in The Enigman Cave.

Johnny Barnes exists in The Real Hub of the Universe to terrify Ceilidh and force her into action. Jeannie exists in Mettle to anger Craig and eventually make him not feel too bad about getting on a plane.

And one of the reasons Dave Shepherd exists in the Obolonk universe is to help Peri get over Charlie.

Oh, and Bobby Brodie exists to be an uncouth lout. Which he does a little too well.

Plus there are always love interest characters, even if they don’t last. For example, that’s Lex Feldman in Enigmans and Dalton Farouk in Time Addicts, the 2019 NaNoWriMo novel.

Shapiro, Shapiro, Shapiro

As a kind of personal ‘tell’ and Easter egg in my works, every longer piece (except for Untrustworthy, as none of those characters are human), somebody is named Shapiro.

This is even true in fan fiction, where characters Ethan and Rebecca Shapiro (father and daughter) figure prominently in the overall storyline.

The Obolonks series has Greg Shapiro. He’s a wisecracking cop living in Connecticut. The Enigman Cave has Marnie Shapiro Chase, the captain of the spaceship. Marnie’s kind of frumpy and nerdy but also very smart.

Then in Real Hub of the Universe, the name is subtle. Blima Shapiro Taub is a character never actually seen ‘on screen’. Blima is known more for her jealousy than anything else. But I give her a bit of a voice in the short story, The Bride.

In Mettle, Shapiro is Eleanor Braverman’s maiden name. Eleanor suffers from Alzheimer’s.

So you can see that the Easter egg characters are all rather different.

In the November 2019 NaNoWriMo novel, the name shows up as a the married name of Josie James’s older sister, Hayley.

Character Creation: Purposeful Characters

Sometimes characters are necessary to fulfill some purpose or another. Technically, that’s supposed to be the case with all characters (oops!). Either advance the plot or be background exposition.

Hence Noah Braverman’s fellow reporter, Francine O’Donnell, serves to give him a bit of a reason to express his thoughts out loud in Mettle.

Ben Chase serves as Marnie’s foil, but he also makes a big discovery which helps drive the Enigman plot. And I needed Livia Thorson in Obolonks to explain some of the robotics, just as I needed Ned O’Malley in Real Hub to explain how Ceilidh was going to get to the states.

Sometimes purposeful characters come in the form of radio or TV show hosts, or nameless people reading news stories aloud or commenting on them.

How many times have you stood in line at a coffee shop and heard people discuss the events of the day? Even if it’s the sports section or politics or whatever, it can still help to orient readers as to time and place.

In Untrustworthy, Ixalla started off as a kind of explainer character, but then the role grew when I turned her into a revolutionary.

Takeaways

Why do you need a character? Do you like them? Do they drive the plot? Will you kill them off if you have to? Make characters to fulfill these purposes or to add depth and background. Give your story dimension with people who feel real.

Character creation is a personal process. It can be planned and detail-oriented. Or it can be haphazard. You make the call!


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Writing Needs Editing Part 2

Writing and Editing Part 2

For editing part 2 let’s get past acting like your own biggest fan, like we did in Editing Part 1. Time to get out the scissors. Or the weedwhacker, as is the case.

More Editing Part 2 of a 2-Part Saga

So, let’s go to editing Part 2!

Now last time, we looked at some general issues surrounding editing. Although the process may seem daunting, it still must be done. For this post, I will assume you have done the tasks outlined in the first part.

If not, then this methodology will still work. But I think you’ll find you will need to do the preliminary steps anyway. Hence you might as well get them done now. Then it’s on to Editing Part 2.

Spell Check

Maybe it sounds dumb. Perhaps it’s obvious. But you still need to run a spell checker. Don’t have one? Then try a free spell checker online. But if you have a spellchecker in your application, use it.

Understand that certain typos will be a problem. If you type ‘that’ for ‘this’, it will not show up, as those are both real words. Hence your spellchecker provides only a preliminary solution. Have the program ignore names, in order to eliminate them from contention.

Find and Replace

Your find feature is a godsend; use it! Furthermore, if you use names which might have typical typos, try searching for them with ctrl-F.

For example, the main character in my 2015 NaNoWriMo novel had the name of Marnie. Hence I searched for the word ‘Marine’. But I made sure to check on usage before I hit ‘replace’.

This feature also works when you change a character’s name.

Find and Count

Do you overuse some expressions? Repetitive language isn’t bad. But too much of it is dull. Consider usage, and adjust repeated sentences accordingly.

That Attack

My good friend D. R. Perry taught me this one, and I love it.  Have your program count how often you use the word ‘that’. Of course, it’s not a bad word outright. But overusing anything can be dull.

By counting this particular word, you get a handle on your use of certain idiomatic phrases. E. g. ‘he thought that’, ‘she said that’, ‘they felt that that was funny’.

In all three of these instances, the word ‘that’ can be cut without losing any sense.

Synonym Sweep

This time, search for the word ‘very’. As with ‘that’, the word is perfectly fine, despite what Stephen King says.

However, he is right (as was Robin Williams in Dead Poets Society) insofar as it’s a not so precise use of language. What’s better: ‘very big’ or ‘gigantic’? For a children’s book, probably the former. For any other kind of book, it may be the latter.

If you can clip the adverb and instead enhance the adjective with a better synonym, your writing will be more interesting. Stay away from obscure adjectives (e. g. ‘Brobdingnagian’).

Also, your characters can use all the adverbs they like when speaking. But try to cut them in your scene setting, your transitions, and your exposition.

That’s the first half of Editing Part 2. Now onto the second half.

Editing Part 2: It’s Time for the Fat Cutter

You’ve been doing this all along, with ‘that attack’ and ‘synonym sweep’. The idea is to excise unnecessary words. Unlike the former two methods, this one will require some reading. Up until now, everything has been done programmatically.

Now you need to do some digging. But first check how long your chapters are.

There is no hard and fast rule for chapter length, but if all of your chapters are 20 – 35 pages and one is 63, then that one might have some fat you can cut. Or maybe you can just split it into two or even three chapters.

Consider descriptive text and exposition. You need it, but how long does it have to be? Familiar places in the current time period probably just need a few words: downtown Detroit, the Great Barrier Reef, etc.

Or familiar places in the past need more but can still be pretty spare, such as Victorian-era London, or ancient Rome during Claudius Caesar’s reign.

Familiar places in the future need more but you can build on today: 2023 Berlin maybe has taller buildings, 3116 Istanbul might be enclosed in a geodesic dome. Transportation is likely a lot faster.

But unfamiliar places will need more lavish attention to detail. Consider this: metaphors and similes are your friends. The new planet might be as big as Saturn but without rings, and smell like wet dog.

Editing Part 2 of Scene Shifts and Plot Changes

These are much bigger and will take up a lot more of your time. Before you do either, you might want to consider whether your story can be understood by beta readers without doing either. If so, then keep this in mind (maybe take some notes) but don’t do it.

See what beta readers say. Maybe you won’t need to make such drastic changes at all.

Final Read-Through Before Betas

Give it one last read-through. Look for the right words in all the wrong places. E. g. a typo which turned out to be a correctly spelled word, so spellchecker missed it. Those can be devilishly hard to find, so look closely.

Look for sense and ease of understanding. Make sure your plot makes sense. Then kiss your manuscript good-bye (for the time being) and send it off to beta readers.

Post-Beta Readings and Editing Part 2

After betas, Editing Part 2 should be followed by a kind of Editing Part 3. Consider your betas’ advice. You don’t need to take it all, but do listen with an open mind. Do one last read-through and then send your work to a professional editor, if you can afford one.

Why should you, if you’ve done all this? Because you (or I) may have missed something. In addition, all this preliminary work was free. Your edited work will come back a lot faster and cleaner.

Then, and only then, can you consider querying.

Editing Part 2—yep, there was a part 1, as well. See below for the link.


Click to buy Untrustworthy on Amazon

Want More on Beta Reading and Editing?

If you want more on beta reading and editing, then please be sure to check out the following blog posts:

Beta Reading:

Beta Reading for Indie Writers
Beta Reading, Part 2
Working With a Beta Reader
Beta Readers and Editors

Editing:

Writing Needs Editing, Part 1
Choosing an Editor
Editing Tips

Next blog post

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Writing Needs Editing Part 1

A look at editing Part 1. Writing is why we’re here. But editing is what makes it sing.

What’s this All About? Editing Part 1 – in a Nutshell

Check out editing part 1. If you don’t do any editing, then don’t expect people to read your work.

Unless you normally write six-word horror stories, you are going to need an editor. Everybody needs this service. However, you should edit your work before handing it over to a professional.

In particular, if you are just coming off something like NaNoWriMo,such as #30Day50k, then you need to trim the fat. Because we all pad in order to make word count for NaNoWriMo.

Don’t be ashamed of this! And a lot of it might turn out to be the good kind of fat. In particular, if it helps you introduce a new and interesting character, or set a new scene, or transition a story line properly, it can be terrific.

But you still need to go through it with a fine-toothed comb. Everybody needs to do this. And there are no exceptions. So never, ever think that you can just wiggle your way out of this one. Because, spoiler alert, you just plain can’t.

Adding Words

Sometimes, you actually add words in order to edit a story. And that is perfectly fine. If a description was rushed, or a scene feels forced, you may need to add words.

In particular, if you wrote your story with placeholders such as: fix this later or add transition here, you must address those problems!

Getting Started With Editing Part 1

Are you wondering why this post was not added back in November? It’s because editing requires some ‘leave it alone’ time. Frankly, this is too early. Because I highly recommend leaving your work for a full month before tackling editing.

Just, find something else to do during the month of December or the like. Between the holidays and the end of the quarter and the end of the tax year (and up here in New England, you might get some snow to shovel), I’m sure you can think of something.

Okay, Now We’ll Really Get Started With Editing Part 1

So you’ve set your work aside for a month. Your first job is to read your manuscript through from start to finish. Want to take notes? Sure. Or not. This is your show. But read all 50,000 or 100,000 or whatever words.

You’re not a writer, and you’re not reading as the writer. Rather, you are reading like a fan.

In the next article, I’ll show you where to go from here.

Writing Needs Editing part 1 means, yes, there’s a part 2 a-comin’….!


Click to buy Untrustworthy on Amazon

Want More on Beta Reading and Editing?

If you want more on beta reading and editing, then please be sure to check out the following blog posts:

Beta Reading:

Beta Reading for Indie Writers
Beta Reading, Part 2
Working With a Beta Reader
Beta Readers and Editors

Editing:

Writing Needs Editing, Part 2
Choosing an Editor
Editing Tips

Next blog post

Leave a Comment