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I review my own work all the time. But why? Isn’t editing enough? Welll, not quite.

Why Review, Ever?

Beyond standard editing, I think it is important to kind of see the forest amidst that big ole bunch o’ trees.

Editing, I feel, is more for the weeds and the trees. It is, in essence, the nitty gritty guts of a piece.

It’s selecting the word luggage instead of the word baggage, for example. I had to do this for The Real Heart of the Universe.

But reviewing, I feel, is a whole other ball of wax.

Here, I feel, there is a space to get a faraway, bird’s eye view of the piece.

Did the characters work? Did the plot move along well? And did the conclusion satisfy?

I feel that reviewing is also where I start to see the similarities in my works, even when a shared universe is not my intention.

A review is a good place to spot and to highlight Easter eggs in my work, as well.

When is the Best Time for Reviewing?

I would say the piece has to be more or less complete. But it does not have to have a bow on it or be published, etc. And I do not necessarily think that it even has to have gone to beta readers.

Do not hesitate! If you want to check your work in this particular fashion, then you have my blessing, for what it’s worth.

You do you.

What Does Reviewing Accomplish?

Probably the best part of this kind of an exercise is that it can be a great place to spot plot holes. And plot holes are essentially opportunities.

Consider your standard fan fiction writer, if you will.

The show or film or book has a fade to black for a love scene. But the fan ficcer wants to make it clearer as to exactly what happened. That fade to black is an ideal opportunity.

Now, of course it does not have to be about a love or a sex scene. But look for the gaps. You might just find a sequel or a prequel in them—and you would never know that unless you reviewed your work!

Self-Review – Gentrification

Review – Gentrification

Gentrification is about an extremely controversial topic—abortion. When I wrote it, Roe v Wade was still fairly secure. I didn’t intend to write a prophecy.

Background

The story idea originally came to me because house flippers are a pretty large segment of the customers for the company where I work. And then the peeling away of the layers of ownership turned into something far different. But I did not intend to write about much. But it just … happened.

Plot

While peeling wallpaper from an old house’s walls, the narrator comes across a mural, painted in pastels. So, it’s clearly for a child.

She traces down the ownership of the house, finally finding one woman who was probably around when the mural was painted.

Yet Hazel Prentice Morse wasn’t just around. She was in the thick of it.

Characters in Gentrification

The characters are the unnamed narrative, a woman who is a retired lawyer. Also, Hazel Morse, the storyteller, who was twelve at the time of the events. In addition, Hazel’s Aunt Martha and Martha’s boyfriend, Chet. Also, Hazel’s parents and her grandparents.

Memorable Quotes

That woman, Hazel Prentice Morse, agreed to meet with me. We met at a café in her much nicer neighborhood, where she was reserved and somewhat skeptical, even after seeing numerous pictures. Then I drove her to the brownstone. The four flights we had to walk up weren’t too kind to our old knees.

When we were in the room and she saw the mural in the flesh as it were, she started to cry. I didn’t really have much of a place to sit during renovations, so I went downstairs to give her some privacy and find the one folding chair I always bring so I can have a place to eat my lunch.

I brought the chair up. She sat down as I leaned against the windowsill. “What is it?” I asked. “What do you remember, Mrs. Morse? Do you know who the artist was?” When I was still practicing law, I took a ton of depositions. I know how to gently get information out of frightened witnesses. You never forget how to do that.

“Yes, I know who it was.” She stared off into the distance.

“You don’t have to tell me anything.” She was no witness. I didn’t have to indulge my morbid curiosity.

“I do, actually. Woman to woman. It’s funny. But I’m the only person alive who remembers. I imagine the statute has run by now.”

“Statute?”

“The Statute of Limitations—you know—how long you can be charged with a crime.”
Click to buy Untrustworthy on Amazon

Rating

The story has a PG-13 rating. There are some rather upsetting parts of it, and I depict deaths but not in detail.

However, I tell about the deaths via the conceit of having a character relate them decades later. So, the reader is even further removed from them.

But they’re still not the kind of thing most people like to talk about, or ever think about.

Gentrification: the Upshot

I have workshopped this story more than once and I have submitted it for publication. So for a publisher with the cojones to take it on, I think it’s a story to tell. Particularly these days.

But I have been getting the feeling that publishers are just too afraid to rock the boat right now.

Gentrification, a story that we need to tell. #amwriting


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Self-Review – Darkness into Light

Review – Darkness into Light

One of the best parts of Darkness into Light is that it’s just a catch phrase. Hence, just like ‘good morning’ or ‘hello’, the characters say ‘darkness into light’ all the time. They repeat it continuously within the story.

So, I wanted ‘darkness into light’ to be almost like ‘Hello, Comrade’. I needed for it to take on a sinister tone.

And boy, did it ever.

Background for Darkness into Light

With a 1984/Brave New World vibe, the catchphrase turned evil very, very quickly.

The idea behind it was that in a future which might not be so far-fetched, the price of equality is a ton of sameness. And that sameness means going along with the majority in every possible way. Nothing matters but full unanimity.

So for this society, there can be no deviations, no exceptions, and no delays.

Because you’ve got to be equal. And not necessarily voluntarily.

Or else.

I wrote this story during February of 2017.

Plot

Minor government functionary Susan has but one job – to make sure that all of the babies born in the Smith Hospital are the exact same color.

But then she finds a pair of faces which don’t fit the approved color scheme. And that’s got to change, fast.

Or else.
Click to buy Untrustworthy on Amazon

Characters

The characters are Susan, a minor government functionary.

So there is also the young couple she needs to convert from the dark into the light. Whether they want that to happen, or not.

Because in this world, you are not truly equal unless you’re identical to everyone else.

Memorable Quotes

There were dozens of people in Smith County in Smith State who were all expecting children, and the projection on the wall told the tale. She glanced at the faces briefly. Nearly all of them were already the correct, uniform shade and shape, dimensions perfectly aligned and proportioned as per the law.

Rating

The story has a K rating. Well, kinda, sorta.

But it should still be quite disturbing. So, I do caution readers.

Takeaways – Darkness Into Light, Indeed

I really love how quickly and easily I was able to turn Susan into something utterly sinister. Beneath a cheerful, allegedly helpful and caring façade, there is a nasty drive to make every single person conform perfectly. Whether they like it or not.

I am so glad that this story found an audience. You can find it on the Corner Bar Magazine website. And this site also published Killing Us Softly.

Darkness into Light. If I’ve done my job right, this phrase should make you shudder. #amediting


Short Stories

And finally, for a complete list of my shorter works, please be sure to also check out the Hub Page—Short Stories.

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Self-Review – The Real Hope of the Universe

Review – The Real Hope of the Universe

Hope was a huge theme in this book.

The Real Hope of the Universe picks where The Real Heart of the Universe leaves off. As the book to wrap up the trilogy, it had to resolve a number of subplots. So many subplots. Hence the first draft clocked in at over 185,000 words. Oh. My. God.

I didn’t need an editor. I needed a weed whacker. You know, a string trimmer.

Background

To wrap up the series, the aliens needed to leave our world. But how?

In addition, there were numerous subplots to resolve. For me, it can be hard to get all of that fixed and sewn up, tied neatly with a bow. This made for any number of issues with length. For after I wrote the first draft, my mission was to cut it by 50,000 words.

The second draft (what I call a second draft is often what people call a fifth or a sixth draft) was about 48,500 words less. Much, much better, but still a bear.

Plot for The Real Hope of the Universe

When we first see Ceilidh, Devon, Shannon, and Jake, they are riding in a carriage in Scotland. It’s the 1880s, and there are strange things happening throughout the planet. Some of these odd occurrences happen due to alien intervention.

But some of them happen because of what human beings do.

Unlike the other two books, I had to devote this one to far more science fiction. And so it is! Yet at the same time, I had to resolve the subplots. Hence I wrote meanderings to here and there.

But as I ruthlessly slashed away at the first draft, I tied a lot more of the subplots’ resolutions to science fiction.

Characters

The characters are the main character, Ceilidh O’Malley. Also, her beau (later husband) Jake Radford and her employer, Dr. Devon Grace.

In addition, there is the colony known as Shannon Duffy and the members of a secret society. These include men from both North America and Europe.

Memorable Quotes from The Real Hope of the Universe

They stopped on the steps for a second. “If you wish to leave now, say so.”

“If you’ll have any family you can talk to at all in the future, it shall likely be Luke.”

“So it would seem we should stay and wait it all out. So at least there’s a fighting chance of pulling out the whole truth, and he gets my side of things.”

“Not your side, Jake. Our side.”

“Ours, then. You are my truest companion.” He smiled a little, but it wasn’t in his eyes, which darted to the left for a second. His hand on hers was damp with sweat.

“Coming, you coward?” John sneered. “Or will you stand on the stairs forever, like a mental defective?”

“John,” Ceilidh said, “Kindly don’t speak to us this way. You may have arguments with my husband. He and I are willing to hear them. But a schoolyard bully’s insults are beneath you.”

John was nonplussed, and seemed to be deciding if she’d insulted or praised him. “Just get in the library already.” The library was a dark room, paneled in oak, with more decorations than books in the shelves.

Rating

The story has a K+ rating. As this one has more Gothic elements to it, there are some occasional squicky moments. For anyone who enjoys reading Gothic tales, some of the scenes should feel familiar.

Upshot

Because it was the end of the series, I struggled to let go. This is a normal pattern for me. It is quite literally nothing new. Hence the ending is dragged out far more than it ever needed to be.

When the first draft was done, it was the longest piece I had ever written. It took me about four and a half months to finish the first draft. And this was writing every day!

After leaving it for a long time, though, editing should be better. The operant word there being should.

I hope I can write more in this universe! #amreviewing


Want More of the Real Hub Universe?

If the Real Hub Universe resonates with you, then check out my other articles about Ceilidh, Devon, Jake, and the others as they keep the Earth from becoming collateral damage in the War of Knowledge.

Character Reviews:

Ceilidh O’Malley
Dr. Devon Grace
Frances Miller Ashford
Johnny Barnes
Shannon Duffy

Prequel: The East Side of the Universe
Self-Review: The Real Hub of the Universe
Self-Review: The Real Heart of the Universe
and Self-Review: The Real Hope of the Universe

Next article


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Self-Review – The Real Heart of the Universe

Review – The Real Heart of the Universe

The Real Heart of the Universe continues the main story. This sequel to The Real Hub of the Universe brings back Ceilidh O’Malley, Devon Grace, Shannon Duffy, and Jacob Radford, along with the Boston Brahmins in the 1880s. In this, the second novel in the trilogy, Ceilidh deals head on with the problems she left behind in Ireland.

The biggest of these, of course, is Johnny Barnes.

Background

The second book of a trilogy can sometimes feel like filler. The last time I wrote a trilogy, for The Obolonk Murders, the middle book ended up as a means of advancing the Peri-Dave romance. Hence I opted for a similar idea. Here, the Ceilidh-Jake romance would advance.

The Plot of the Real Heart of the Universe

But there are always complications. For Ceilidh, who is still married to Johnny at the start of the book, her dalliance with Jake is a sin. Will she lose her mortal soul? For someone brought up with faith, the idea of what is more or less adultery is quite the problem.

So, what is she to do?

Characters

The main character in the piece is (again) Ceilidh O’Malley Barnes. Her main mission in this novel is to find a way to be with her love, Jacob Radford.

The scenes shift from the Lowell House in Boston (on Beacon Hill) to Providence, Rhode Island, and then to an Atlantic ocean voyage, and then to Ireland.

Memorable Quotes from the Real Heart of the Universe

He had chosen an impeccable charcoal gray suit, for his attire from the morning apparently would no longer do. He had all of his ties strewn around on his bed when she returned after getting the luncheon dishes back to the kitchen and cleaning them. “Have you a soirée?” she asked.

“Not so much a soirée,” he paused for a moment, rolling the R with his Scottish brogue, “as an invitation to tea. Sorry for the change in plans; I had meant to tell you, but your initiation into SPHERE got in the way. Hand me that one, if you please.”

“This one?” she asked, holding up his navy blue tie.

“No, no, the tartan.”

“Oh? So you’re going to regale your companion with tales of the Grace family?”

“The Argylls, actually. We go further back than William the Conqueror and all that rot.” He positioned himself in front of the room’s full-length looking glass and tied the tie, which was bright blue and green, with hints of purple and black. “There.”

She approached and straightened his tie a little and then smoothed his light gray hair back a little with two of her fingers. “Handsome and very approachable, sir.”

He smiled slightly. “Hopefully such will be the effect. The approachable part, that is. Handsome? In all honesty, Ceilidh, you should be fitted for spectacles at this rate.”

Rating

The book has a K+ rating. For the most part, the scenes are pleasant. But there is some violence. Language is mild.

Upshot for the Real Heart of the Universe

So I think this one works rather well as a bridge story between introducing the storyline and then its end in the third book.

One of the biggest issues with this series is the need for more science fiction in it. As it is, often the series can feel like a historical novel with some science fiction thrown into it.

Yet one thing I need to do is describe Ceilidh’s life and world, as they just aren’t as well-known as readers may think.

The Victorian era may be interesting to people, but it doesn’t mean they know too much about it. So some of my writing has been to deal head on with any misconceptions.

But no matter what, it’s obvious. The real heart of the universe is Ceilidh herself. #amreviewing


Want More of the Real Hub Universe?

If the Real Hub Universe resonates with you, then check out my other articles about Ceilidh, Devon, Jake, and the others as they keep the Earth from becoming collateral damage in the War of Knowledge.

Character Reviews:

Ceilidh O’Malley
Dr. Devon Grace
Frances Miller Ashford
Johnny Barnes
Shannon Duffy

Prequel: The East Side of the Universe
Self-Review: The Real Hub of the Universe
Self-Review: The Real Heart of the Universe
and Self-Review: The Real Hope of the Universe

Next article


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Self-Review – The Real Hub of the Universe

Review – The Real Hub of the Universe

The Real Hub of the Universe tells the story of Ceilidh O’Malley Barnes, who leaves her abusive husband and runs off to America. Since it’s 1876, she works as a scullery maid, disguising her heritage with a put-on English accent and a fake name, Kay Lee Charles.

Background

One of my favorite time periods is the Victorian era. But there are still so few films which deal with it. More likely, you get something about England or the like. Yet there are not so many about America.

I also love science fiction. And so one day I got the idea – aha! – I would combine the two.

So far as I am aware, this is a more or less unique idea (yes, I know about Star Trek: The Next Generation characters going to see Mark Twain). And no, it is not steampunk.

Plot of the Real Hub of the Universe

When Ceilidh leaves Ireland, she knows absolutely no one. She ends up as a charity case on a freighter, where there is a mysterious first mate who wears only black and never smiles.

When the ship lands in Boston, it’s July 4—the Centennial. But nothing is open and there is no place for her to go.

But through pluck and luck, and by shedding her Irish name and putting on a fake British accent, she lands a job with the wealthy Edwards family.

She endures a lot of the standard indignities of the women of her time, including being paid less and being what we would now call sexually harassed. She also notices the master of the house conducts meetings with some sort of society.

Then he taps her to serve the society’s meetings, which are attended by the luminaries of the day – Ralph Waldo Emerson, Amos Bronson Alcott, Henry Brooks Adams, Judge John Lowell, and George Walker Weld.

All of these, by the way, are very real historical figures. Weld, who is the least well-known of the group, is actually related to actress Tuesday Weld!

After being mistreated by the mistress of the house one too many times, Ceilidh lands a job with Lowell. And then a mysterious visitor arrives, who says nearly nothing and hides his face. More worryingly, he immediately figures out she is not English. What’s she to do?

Characters

First of all, the main character in the piece is Ceilidh O’Malley Barnes. Her twin impulses are to escape her abusive husband and to find work, and a lot of the story centers around that.

The scenes shift from Ireland to England to the open Atlantic Ocean and then Boston, first at the Winthrop Edwards house, and then at the Judge John Lowell house. Both houses are on Beacon Hill.

For this book, she meets and befriends Frances Miller, her absolute bestie.

And, to explain why such a woman would leave Ireland and everything she ever knew, I wrote the prequel, The East Side of the Universe.

Memorable Quotes from The Real Hub of the Universe

There was a cackling sound not too far away. Someone was, maybe, having a glorious time, but it sounded unnatural, and a little forced. “What’s that?”

“That might be one of those things you shouldn’t be seein’.” Ned finished tying Phoebe’s reins to a post and picked up both parcels. “Over there, I think.” He inclined his head in the direction of where the smell of fish was stronger.

The two of them walked over and there was nearly no light beyond what the moon and stars could afford. A few small gas lamps were too far apart to be useful unless a person got really close to one of them. The tide lapped against the wooden docks and Ceilidh feared that either or both of them might fall in. She about jumped out of her skin when someone pulled the hem of her dress. “Who’s there?”

“What?” asked Ned. He had apparently not seen or felt anything.

Ceilidh bent down. It was a little girl, maybe three years old. Four? “Are you lost?” Ceilidh asked, although she had no idea how she could help a child in such an unfamiliar place.

“Have you a ha’-penny?” the little girl asked, her brogue thicker than Ceilidh’s or Ned’s.

“Where’s your Mam?” Ceilidh asked.

“Don’t, Cousin.”

“Why not?” Ceilidh straightened up for a moment.

“Because they will rob you.”

“I,” Ceilidh sighed. “Maybe if I’m not a stranger.” She bent down again. “I’m Ceilidh. What’s your name?”

“Siobhan.”

“Well, that’s a rather pretty name. Where’s your Mam, Siobhan?” The little girl just turned and pointed in the direction from where the cackling had come. In the dim light, something insect-like scurried in Siobhan’s hair. Instinctively, Ceilidh sprang back. “Oh, my!”

Rating

The book has a K+ rating. While the language is extremely proper to a fault, there are some swear words. There are also a few rather disturbing scenes.

Upshot

The bottom line is, I truly loved writing this series. It was great fun! Ceilidh’s character journey was a revelation to me. I always wanted her to make it somehow, but I was unsure of what that was going to be when I started. Stay tuned to find out just what that was.

Welcome to the Real Hub of the Universe #amwriting


Want More of the Real Hub Universe?

If the Real Hub Universe resonates with you, then check out my other articles about Ceilidh, Devon, Jake, and the others as they keep the Earth from becoming collateral damage in the War of Knowledge.

Character Reviews:

Ceilidh O’Malley
Dr. Devon Grace
Frances Miller Ashford
Johnny Barnes
Shannon Duffy

Prequel: The East Side of the Universe
Self-Review: The Real Hub of the Universe
Self-Review: The Real Heart of the Universe
and also Self-Review: The Real Hope of the Universe

Next article


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Self-Review – Your Call is Very Important to Us

Your Call is Very Important to Us – a Look at a Short Story

Your Call is Very Important to Us comes from a general concept of ‘the world turned upside-down’. I wrote this short story for the third volume of The Longest Night Watch. All of the proceeds will go to the Alzheimer’s Association. But I’m afraid that is, if we ever publish it.

Which isn’t looking so good these days. Damn.

I never name the narrator in ‘Your Call’. The reader just gets her husband’s name, Milo.

Background

The world has gone to hell in a handbasket, and we’ve dropped the bomb. And so has our unnamed other side. There’s devastation. No one and nothing will survive.

Enter our characters.

As the narrator says, her husband was a doomsday prepper. And while everyone thought he was nuts, they were okay even as the world came to an end.

So who’s sorry now?

But our narrator’s got one big problem. She’s bored out of her mind.

Plot for Your Call…

With nothing to do but read, eat, and fool around, the narrator and her husband are at the ends of their tethers. They are older people—there aren’t going to be any children. There is no chance at all to repopulate the earth.

Pretty soon, the one break to the monotony comes in the form of something you and I both hate – automated telemarketer calls. The people and the companies may be gone. But robocalls, apparently, are forever.

Of course, a ringing telephone in the middle of nuclear devastation is a cause for concern, wonder, hope, and fear. I will admit that a part of the idea came from Ray Bradbury’s classic Martian Chronicles story, The Silent Towns.

Characters in Your Call…

The only characters, apart from people the narrator talks to on the phone who may or may not still be alive, are the narrator and her husband, Milo. Milo never speaks and neither does the narrator. All the reader gets are her rambling, wacky thoughts, presumably in writing.

Memorable Quotes

When the bombs dropped, we were already ensconced in our shelter. Milo built it. Milo’s my husband. He was one of those doomsday preppers. People used to say he was crazy. But they’re not saying it now. Why not? Because they’re probably all dead. If the radiation and heat won’t get you, the germ warfare will, Milo says.

We live just outside of Henderson, Nevada. It’s near Las Vegas, or at least it was. I’m not so sure what’s up there anymore. It’s probably not much.

Rating

This story has a K+ rating. While the one sex scene takes place off screen (as it were), the backdrop is nuclear war, and of course that’s upsetting.
Click to buy Untrustworthy on Amazon

Upshot

So, one very big issue is that the volume has been delayed for what I believe is coming upon a good decade.

Yes, really. The story has been in limbo for way too long at this point.

So will it ever be published? Right now, I’ve got to say, I have my doubts. Big, big doubts. And that’s unfortunate, because I really love this story. And I love the charity and the group. But I suppose we’ve got … issues.

Your call is very important to us — even after the end of the world. #amwriting


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Self-Review – Untrustworthy

So, Let’s Look at Untrustworthy

Untrustworthy is my first-ever published novel.

Background

And, much like a fan fiction novel called Reversal, it begins with a dream. Yet that makes perfect sense, as a dream inspired it.

And the dream, originally, was of seeing scenery change before my eyes. I have had this same dream before and since, and have written about it before and since, yet in different ways every time.

Yes, I am well aware that this is a cliché. Ah, well.

Plot

As Tathrelle begins the part of her life related by the story, the reader sees flashbacks of what seems like a dream and then seems like an earlier existence. However, the older life gets cut short in favor of the new.

Tathrelle’s waking life, instead, centers around her wife Ixalla, and the children they are about to have. Past is prologue.

The Cabossians, a species made up by me, can have children in any combination, so long as both parties are fertile. Hence both mpreg and all varieties of marriage (same- and mixed-sex) figure in the plot.

Furthermore, Tathrelle’s new job drives a lot of the action, as she has just won an election and represents the people in what obviously starts off as a military dictatorship. Also, in the background, a disembodied voice tells the people what to do.

The first statements come out more as helpful hints and requests, such as to thank the public transportation driver or set the thermostat to a particular setting.

But that’s all about to change.

Characters

The main characters are Tathrelle, Ixalla, Velexio, Adger, and Students Number Five and Seventeen, along with a character just referred to as the unknown girl. The scene is solely on the planet Caboss, in the Central City.

One thing that surprised me as I wrote is that the main character, Tathrelle, did not turn out to be my favorite. Instead, that honor belongs to Ixalla. Ixalla was originally not much more than an expository mouthpiece. But she really took flight when she became a revolutionary.

Memorable Quote

Ixalla yelled to them all, “This is the very last vestige of your privacy, and it is going up in smoke! You are all voluntarily giving it up! And for what? Is it for some vague notion of security? For the new requirement that anyone who is fertile is not just privileged, but that they are – we are – somehow, now, required to prove our fecundity? What will we have to prove next?”

Music

The inspirational song for this book is Bastille’s Pompeii. Over ten years later, and I am still incapable of hearing the song without thinking of the book, and vice versa.

Story Postings

Unlike some of the other works in this blog (as of now), this story is for sale (see below). It is not truly ‘posted’ anywhere. Even on the NaNoWriMo site, all you can find is a very short snippet.

There is a prequel, Unreliable. I suspect it will be better for me to make and keep that one permanently free. Perhaps it could be a perk for signing up for my writer newsletter? I’m not sure yet.

Rating for Untrustworthy

The story is Rated T. When the messages from the disembodied voice start to turn nasty, the story becomes violent very quickly. Click to buy Untrustworthy on Amazon

Untrustworthy Takeaways

Without giving away more of the plot, I think the story is okay but the truth is, I have written better since then.

However, I feel it is a great first effort for publication. Furthermore, I feel it works in some ways to get me into the publishing game, but then what?

I feel the book had pretty good promotions but not great promotions. I know it has more reviews than a lot of other indie works, but not as many as others. Sales come few and far between.

And, I can lay a lot of the blame for lackluster sales on myself. I needed to be more proactive.

In the meantime, I write about different things.

Can Untrustworthy serve as an entrée for diverse works such as the space opera of The Enigman Cave, the science fiction detective stories in The Obolonk Murders and its successor series, the Victorian urban fantasy of The Real Hub of the Universe and its two sequels?

Or the odd science fiction dystopia of Mettle? Or the fictional coming of age story/memoir of The Duck in the Seat Cushion?

Stay tuned, and I thank you, as always, for your kind and unwavering support. I appreciate you every single day.

Untrustworthy has been good to me. But it is tough to make it a hashtag! #amreviewing


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Self-Review – Revved Up

Review – Revved Up

Revved Up rocks.

It is the kind of story I tossed off rather quickly and then it just sort of took on a life of its own. Which was very cool but also rather unexpected.

Background

I got the idea for this story because I had recently stayed at my childhood home and noticed something odd in the front yard. And the truth is, it was nearly nothing. However, I sometimes have an overactive imagination, and so I took this idea and I ran with it.

What did I notice? It was only a few ruts near a flower bed. They were nothing, really, and were most likely made by a hoe or a rake. However, in my mind, I decided they would be tire tracks. And then the fun started.

The Plot of Revved Up

A holier than thou narrator starts telling a story to an unnamed police officer. The plot circles around the narrator’s elderly parents’ next-door neighbors. Pretty soon, the narrator starts referring to them as the POJ Family. That is, the “Pair of Jerks”.

As the story progresses, our narrator gets more and more self-righteous as the POJ Family continues to perform more and more outrageous acts in her parents’ sleepy, leafy Northern New Jersey suburban street.

Note: my folks lived on Long Island at the time, and my father doesn’t even live in the inspiration house any more.

Sharp-eyed readers should be able to follow along, at least in part. The narrator keeps a lot of information close to the vest, so it pays, actually, to read the book again. And no, I’m not trying to inflate read counts.

Characters

I never actually name anyone in the story. The main character is the narrator, who is telling the story to an officer of the law. The other characters are her elderly parents, her son and daughter, various neighbors, and her next-door nemeses, the so-called POJ family.

The narrator is a divorced middle-aged woman and that’s all a reader learns about her. Her children are teenagers; her parents, elderly and coming to the time in their lives when they’re just about ready to move into assisted living.

As for the POJ family, they have a decidedly more earthy philosophy than our heroine. And so she takes matters into her own hands.

Memorable Quotes

I returned to my parents’ home and the three of us began washing the many plates – eighteen in all. My mother declared that perchance these city people did not understand our ways and so she carefully hand-lettered a number of delicately-worded thank you notes to everyone in the neighborhood. We knew who had provided the apple pie, the cherry cobbler and even the New York-style cheesecake.

Story Postings

The story’s sole posting is on Wattpad, where it became a Featured Story a few years ago. I hope you’ll get a chance to check out Revved Up on Wattpad

Rating for Revved Up

The story has a K rating.

Upshot for Revved Up

This story has had better traction than nearly anything I have ever written. With (as of the time of the updating of this blog post) over 59,500 reads and over 500 comments (many of which referenced the surprise ending), Revved Up remains an unqualified success. Of course having had Featured Story status for several months helped a great deal.

Could I sell it? I have toyed with that idea, but the story is so odd and it’s really too short for a novel. Plus it does not really lend itself to a sequel or even a prequel. While sequels are far from necessary, it can help if that’s an option. But I am totally fine without one.

Revved Up — because villains don’t have to look evil on the outside….


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Self-Review – The Badge of Humanity

Review – The Badge of Humanity

The Badge of Humanity is the upshot conclusion story in the initial Obolonks trilogy. It moves the action into more of the Peri-Dave romance. But it also follows to showing how she, Dave, and Tommy finally solve the murders.

Just like that universe’s society is tripartite, so are the three novels. So the first one, The Obolonk Murders, is devoted to the aliens. And the second work, The Polymer Beat, is dedicated to the semi-sapient and more than semi-sapient robots. Hence the third is all about humanity.

How Tommy figures out if that’s what he really wants, and how Peri regains hers.

The second and third novels also have somewhat punny titles. They both play off the police props of badges and walking a beat. But a badge is also an identifier. Hence, in this one, Tommy gets that particular badge.

Background for The Badge of Humanity

When I first started to write The Obolonk Murders, I had no plan and no idea it would turn into three books. At this point, I knew I really needed to finish up already. One thing Untrustworthy has proven, over and over again, is the value of an outline.

I knew the end had to happen, so the two biggest parts were solving the murders and, in some way, dealing with the Peri-Dave romance. I needed to tie up two very loose ends and do so in as satisfying a manner as possible.

Plot

Peri has to solve the last of the puzzle as more Obolonks are threatened. She senses they are the key to humanity’s future as the human population has swollen so much that it will soon overrun every inhabitable orb in the solar system. To leave the system means getting the secrets of interstellar travel. And the only ones who know that are Obolonks.

As Tommy continues to seek what is essentially humanness—the badge of humanity—Peri and Dave’s relationship heats up. There are too many distractions and the president of the solar system also seems to have something to hide.

Characters

The main character (as before) is Detective Sergeant Peri Martin. Secondary characters of note are Tommy 2000 (with a Tommy McFarland alias so as to cover up his robot identity), Dave Shepherd, Greg Shapiro, Akanksha Kondapalli, and the glamorous president of the solar system, Ms. Fankald Williams.

The scenes shift from the Boston Megalopolis on Earth, to Venus, Callisto, and Eris, and back, even to the Hague on Earth (the capital).

Memorable Quotes

“What’s that?” Peri asked a woman sitting nearby, who was an octogenarian like her parents were. The woman had on a knit suit in mint green. Mrs. Franklin? Fredericks? Francis?

“I asked you where you live.”

“Oh, I’m in the Boston Meg, right downtown in a high rise.”

“Back on Earth? That seems so old-fashioned. Don’t you want to grow eggplants with your parents?”

“Uh, no, that’s okay,” Peri tried to be polite about things, but she could scarcely conceive of anything more boring than supervising a far less sophisticated robot than Tommy—the kind known as a Jack or Lumberjackbot—as it tended to the care and feeding of umpteen eggplants for sale to markets as far away as Venus or the Neptunian System. “Someone’s got to haul in the undesirables, Mrs.—er, Ma’am.” Nice save, she congratulated herself wryly.

“Oh, yes, Earth has so much more crime than we have out here,” the woman observed.

“No, thank you, Mrs. Martin,” Tommy remained polite but was getting a little bit insistent, adding just a touch of emphasis to his surprisingly lifelike tenor voice.

“Well, there’s crime everywhere, Mrs., er, Ma’am,” Peri countered, adding, “Ma, he’s not interested in the food, okay? Don’t push.”

“Perdy, honestly! Now, Thomas,” Peri’s mother addressed Tommy, “I can’t understand why you’d be fasting on a day like today. Is it for a religious reason? Do you need to keep kosher, or halal, or vegan? Because I don’t think you need to lose any weight.”

“I need to,” the sophisticated robot’s bluish-greenish-grayish eyes moved rapidly, horizontally, a few times. Peri knew that he was checking his long-term memory for a suitable response, “watch.”

Rating

The book has a T rating. It’s not quite enough for MA, but there are sex scenes and they can be a touch explicit at times. Peri and Dave have a very active relationship.  As for violence, it’s more threatened than anything else.

The Badge of Humanity: Upshot

The quoted portion comes from the first scene in the first chapter. I think the series ends pretty well. In particular, as I become a more sophisticated writer, I can see the holes in it. But I can still see a ton of potential.

And that’s why this trilogy is the first of three trilogies. The Obolonk universe is far too well-developed to let go to waste.

But this book really needs beta readers! Because the last thing that I want is for the story to end on a less than perfect note. Any volunteers for the beta reader badge?

Is the badge of humanity the goal for every sapient robot? Maybe…?


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Self-Review – The Polymer Beat

Review – The Polymer Beat

The Polymer Beat moves the Obolonk action toward not just the robots which have an overall story line—it also explores main character Peri Martin’s romance with spy Dave Shepherd.

Just like that universe’s society is tripartite, so are the three novels. So the first one, The Obolonk Murders, is all about the aliens.

And this, the second work, The Polymer Beat, is dedicated to semi-sapient and more than semi-sapient robots. Hence the third is all about humans and is called The Badge of Humanity.

The second and third novels also have somewhat punny titles, with both playing off the police props of badges and walking a beat. The reference to polymer is because of robots. These books all have themes. This one is robots although I will admit it’s subtle.

The beat reference also connotes hearts beating.

Background

After I picked The Obolonk Murders back up again in 2014, I realized I had the makings of a trilogy on my hands. Hence The Polymer Beat became my 2014 NaNoWriMo project.

I also had a few dangling bits from the first book, including solving the murder and Peri’s disastrous first date with Dave.

Plot

As Peri and Tommy work on the Obolonk cases, Peri and Dave Shepherd get closer. Peri knows this is a bad idea, but she goes along with it anyway. And, as she and Tommy continue to try to find the killers, she notices Tommy’s simplistic robotic feelings are taking a turn. Could Tommy become jealous?

Characters

The main character (as before) is Detective Sergeant Peri Martin. The scenes shift from the Boston Megalopolis to various places in the Solar System, including Ganymede.

Other characters include Tommy, Dave, They Say This is the One, Sally Bowles AKA They Say This One Tiles Bathrooms Adequately, and lawyer Akanksha Kondapalli.

Memorable Quotes

“Were you programmed to be an optimist?”

He considered the question briefly. “I cannot tell.”

“That’s okay. You know I’m gonna have dinner with Shepherd tonight, right?”

“Yes,” he mumbled as she hoisted her bag onto the room’s sole bed.

Peri stopped what she was doing and came close to the robot. “What is it?”

“It is nothing.”

She looked at him closely. “If I didn’t know any better, Tom, I’d swear you were upset.” He stood there stoically, although she did see him scan once, briefly.

Peri returned to her bag and began unpacking it, stuffing most of her clothing into the top drawer of the room’s sole bureau. “I’m not even so sure why I’m going out with him, truth be told.”

“I do not understand.”

“Heh, I would explain it if I could. It’s not like my mini-phone’s been chiming all day with offers since Charlie died.”

“Is this,” the robot paused, maybe to select the proper words, “your first such offer since that event?”

“Event,” she echoed, taking a shimmering silver dress out of her bag, “that makes it sound as if there were engraved invitations, or something.”

“I did not intend that definition.”

“I know you didn’t. But you gotta understand, Tom, or at least just, just try to. I saw Charlie mortally wounded by a scrubbed hot gun. It happened right in front of me.”

“That is what your psychiatric evaluation said.”

Trembling, she looked daggers at him. “What else do you know about me that’s private?”

Rating for The Polymer Beat

The book has a T rating. There are no really violent scenes but there is an explicit sex scene. Occasional bad language, but not much.

The Polymer Beat: Upshot

Middle books in trilogies tend to drag, and this one is no exception. I need to improve it! In addition, beta readers would be helpful—hello!

It would be great to get some developmental editing help with the dragging parts in the middle to last third.

But I like the idea of it, and I think Tommy in particular gets developed much better. Dave remains an enigma, but that’s the idea. He is a spy, after all.

Yet for Tommy 2000, there’s more to walking the polymer beat than simply solving crimes.


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