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Category: Writing

If you’re not into any kind of writing, then this is highly likely to not be the blog for you.

Ya think???

How and Why Does Writing Speak to Us?

The written word is something that we have in common with the ancient Egyptians, with people on the other side of the planet, and with celebrities who we will never meet.

Fiction writing, in particular, bridges gaps in the world, and through time. Have you ever read something written by an author who is long dead?

Whether it’s Jane Eyre or The Art of War, we can hear the author’s voice as we read (and yes, I am well aware that The Art of War isn’t fiction. I’m kind of tired, okay?).

But I digress.

Independent Writers Do It All

When we do it well, and we do it right, the indie author wears many hats. Researcher. Editor. Planner. Marketer. Cover artist (or at least hirer of the cover artist). Bookkeeper. Advertiser. Tax Preparer.

Indy writing is a small business. So, like it or not, you’ve got to know these things, or be able to hire someone who does.

Past, Present, and Future Authoring

One of the best things about authoring is the concept of eternity. Now, I don’t honestly expect anything I write to end up being studied in college or becoming movie fodder. But it is still  there, and it can be there forever if you can (and are willing to) preserve it.

This is why I encourage publishing, by the way, even if you never make a dime.

Eternity.

Writing Progress Report – First Quarter 2022

Progress Report –First Quarter 2022

How was First Quarter 2022 for writing? So I spent first quarter 2022 writing, working, editing, and trying to get more organized.

First Quarter 2022 Posted Works

First of all, I worked on finishing the NaNo project from 2021.

Then on Wattpad I posted on the WattNaNo profile and the Star Trek Fans profile, and nowhere else.

Milestones

Also, I have written over two and a half million words (fan fiction and wholly original fiction combined). So right now my stats on Wattpad for wholly original works are as follows:

• Dinosaurs – 37 reads, 9 comments
† How to NaNoWriMo – 23,475 reads, 320 comments
• My Favorite Things (like kibble) – 974 reads, 133 comments
Revved Up – 59,350 reads, 530 comments
• Side By Side – 17 reads, 1 comments
† Social Media Guide for Wattpad – 14, 720 reads, 591 comments
• The Canadian Caper – 493 reads, 37 comments
The Dish – 250 reads, 24 comments
• There is a Road – 189 reads, 28 comments
† WattNaNo’s Top Picks 2018 – 1,870 reads, 45 comments
• WattNaNo’s Top Picks 2019 – 1,630 reads, 10 comments
† What Now? – 2,500 reads, 104 comments

More Published Works

Also, I am amassing quite the collection of published works!

Untrustworthy, which is my first published novel. So yay!

A True Believer in Skepticism, published in Mythic Magazine.

Almost Shipwrecked, a story in the January 2019 edition of Empyreome, a site which unfortunately is no more.

Canaries, a short story in the March 29, 2019, edition of Theme of Absence.

Complications, a story in the Queer Sci Fi Discovery anthology. So this is an anthology where the proceeds went to supporting the QSF website.

Cynthia and Wilder Bloom, stories in the Longest Night Watch II anthology.

Props, a story in the Longest Night Watch I anthology. So this is an anthology where the proceeds go to Alzheimer’s research.

Surprises, a story in Book One of the 42 and Beyond Anthology set.

The Boy in the Band, a story in the Pride Park anthology. So this is an anthology where the proceeds go to the Trevor Project.

The Interview, the featured story in the December 14, 2018 edition of Theme of Absence. So they even interviewed me!

The Last Patient, a story in the Stardust, Always anthology. This was an anthology where the proceeds go to cancer research.

The Resurrection of Ditte, a story in the Unrealpolitik anthology.

This is My Child, a short story published in the April 8, 2019 edition of Asymmetry Fiction, another site which is no more.

Three Minutes Back in Time, a short story published in Mythic Magazine.

Killing Us Softly, a short story published in Corner Bar Magazine.

Darkness into Light, a short story published in Corner Bar Magazine.

WIP Corner

So my current WIPs are as follows:

The Obolonk Murders Trilogy – so this one is all about a tripartite society. But who’s killing the aliens?

The Enigman Cave – can we find life on another planet and not screw it up? You know, like we do everything else?

The Real Hub of the Universe Trilogy – the aliens who live among us in the 1870s and 1880s are at war. But why is that?

Mettle – so it’s all about how society goes to hell in a hand basket when the metals of the periodic table start to disappear. But then what? Currently editing this one and getting people to beta read it.

Time Addicts – No One is Safe – so this one is all about what happens in the future when time travel becomes possible via narcotic.

Time Addicts – Nothing is Permanent – this is the second in this trilogy. What happens when time is tampered with and manipulated in all sorts of ways? It’s the ultimate in gaslighting, for one thing.

Time Addicts – Everything is Up For Grabs – finally finished this one, from November 2021. What happens when the timelines change every day, and sometimes more than once per day? Chaos reigns as Josie, Dalton, Carmen, Keisha, and the others have to unravel what’s happening and defeat a force known only as Zero.

Prep Work

So currently, my intention, for this year’s NaNoWriMo, is that I a will start writing the third trilogy in the Time Addicts/Obolonks universe. But I need to iron out the plot! So a lot of this year will be spent on that. I have no name for this one yet. And, I may just write a prequel about the Obolonks first landing. This is to create a reader magnet.

First Quarter 2022 Queries and Submissions

So here’s how that’s been going during First Quarter 2022.

In Progress

As of First Quarter 2022, the following are still in the running for publishing:

This list is the name of the story and then the name of the potential publisher.

• I Used to Be Happy – Gemini Magazine
† Justice – Adbusters
• Mettle – RAB
† Soul Rentals ‘R’ Us – A Thousand One Stories
• Who Do We Blame for This? – Sonder Review

All Other Statuses as of First Quarter 2022

So be sure to see the Stats section for some details on any query statuses for First Quarter 2022 which were not in progress.

Stats

So, in 2018, my querying stats were:

† 68 submissions of 19 stories
• Acceptances: 4, 5.88%
† In Progress-Under Consideration: 3, 4.41% (so, these don’t seem to have panned out)
• In Progress: 10, 14.71%
† Rejected-Personal: 14, 20.59%
• Rejected-Form: 24, 35.29%
† Ghosted: 13 (so, these were submissions where I never found out what happened), 19.12%

So, in 2019 my querying stats were:

• 23 submissions of 11 stories (so, 6 submissions carry over from 2018)
† Acceptances: 4, 17.39%
• In Progress: 11 (so, this includes 2 holdovers from 2018), 47.83%
† Rejected-Personal: 4, 17.39%
• Rejected-Form: 3, 13.04,%
† Ghosted: 1 (so, these are submissions where I never found out what happened), 4.35%

2020 Stats

So, in 2020 my querying stats were:

• 37 submissions of 12 stories (so, 9 submissions carry over from 2019)
† Acceptances: 3, 8.11%
• In Progress: 7, 18.92%
† Rejected-Personal: 12, 32.43%
• Rejected-Form: 4, 10.81%
† Ghosted: 11 (so, these are submissions where I never found out what happened), 29.73%

2021 and 2022 Stats

So in 2021 and 2022, my querying stats were: 5 submissions of 5 stories (so, 5 submissions carried over from 2020); 100% Ghosted.

Yeah, it was like that.

It can be pretty discouraging and hard to go on when nothing new comes up which is positive. But, I am trying to start afresh.

This Quarter’s Productivity Killers

So it’s work, what else? I am working on a ton of things and since that is also writing, it can sometimes burn me out. It’s a safe bet to say that first quarter 2022 will not be the end of that.

Other first quarters, like in 2020 and 2021 had more querying. C’est la vie.

Onward to second quarter 2022.

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Character Review — Elise Jeffries, MD

Consider Elise Jeffries, One of My Original Characters

Who is Elise Jeffries?

She sprang, semi-formed, when I was first starting to put together Mettle. I needed for Noah to have a bounce-off person. I also needed to have at least one medical character.

Elise became a runner while I was writing Mettle. That was not my initial idea for her. And so, since I didn’t have a surname for her then, I gave her the last name of a friend who is a marathon runner.

Where Did Elise Jeffries Come From?

By the time I started to put together Mettle, I had already written snarky characters like Peri Martin, Greg Shapiro, and Trixie LaRue.

I had also written LGBTQ+ characters, most notably Ixalla and Tathrelle, in Untrustworthy. So, Elise wasn’t a wholly unfamiliar idea. But her execution was different. In particular, I saw her as being mixed-race but essentially identifying as Black.

The Past is Prologue — Backstory for Elise Jeffries

In Chapter 11 – Sb, Elise reveals that she and Noah have known each other for almost twenty years. That book was written before the pandemic, and originally took place in 2020. Hence they would have met in about 2000 or 2001.

Apart from her divorce from her wife, there’s virtually nothing on Elise’s history. Although I don’t see her as a native New Englander. So, she came from somewhere or other.

Descriptions

My first description of Elise is from Chapter 2 – Ti:
… a dark-skinned woman in her early fifties already seated at the table. Her curly hair sprang in all directions, barely contained by a red bandanna which accessorized a lab coat that had Suffolk County Morgue, E. Jeffries embroidered on the breast pocket.

So, she didn’t have a lot of description, and I don’t believe I ever really rectified that in the book.

For an actress who I would use as inspiration, I originally thought of Angela Bassett. But after seeing Star Trek: Picard, it was Michele Hurd all the way.

Michele Hurd in PicardShe has a good mix of snark and smarts, and feels like she could play a character who swears pretty much nonstop, but is also, most of the time, the smartest person in the room.

Quotes

“But what? Craig, in case you hadn’t noticed, the world is ending or just about there and we are totally isolated and that’s about the best way to describe our situation. We don’t even know if there’s anyone else out there at all when you really think about it. We’ve seen no one else in months, and we sure as hell haven’t heard anyone. So maybe wrap your head around the concept that you should cut one of the last women on Earth a little slack, particularly seeing as you’re not Prince Charming yourself. Go and grab the little gusto you can because God only knows how long we’re gonna be able to sustain this.” (Mettle, Chapter 21 — Nb)
Click to buy Untrustworthy on Amazon

Relationships

Offscreen, Elise is a divorcée, already estranged from her ex-wife, Tony, for a few years when Mettle starts. She and Noah Braverman are extremely good friends. Noah has an idea that he would like more. But Elise is unsure. She doesn’t want to mess up an excellent friendship.

By the time Mettle ends, she still isn’t in a romantic relationship.

Conflict and Turning Point

Much like for the rest of the cast of Mettle, the conflict is a slow burn of how the world is ending as the metals of the period table start to disappear or undergo a transformation.

And, for the rest of the cast, the turning point is the same: the chapter where a vital metallic element starts to transform into … something.

Continuity/Easter Eggs

Much of the book takes place on the real street I live on (the street names have been changed). Elise’s home is an illegal apartment inside an old Victorian which was probably a boarding house at one time. The exterior is a house around the corner which is up an enormous, steep hill.

And the interior ground floor matches the ground floor of a house my husband and I looked at before we bought our home. That building is around the other corner from our home. As for the inside of Elise’s apartment, it’s fairly generic.

Finally, because Elise is a snarky professional woman, I can trace some of her origins back to Marnie Shapiro and even Peri Martin. All three of them could easily spout sarcasm 24/7.

Future Plans

Unfortunately, I don’t have any future plans for her because there are no future plans for any of the characters in Mettle, a one-off. But I like the character, so maybe I’ll give her a backstory one of these days.

Elise Jeffries: Takeaways

This smart, sarcastic character also loves fiercely. She was a lot of fun to bring to life.

Elise Jeffries — because doesn’t your story need a smartass?


Want More of Elise and the Rest of Mettle?

If Mettle resonates with you, then check out my other blog posts about how changes in the periodic table nearly kill us all.

Character Reviews: Mettle

Eleanor Braverman
Noah Braverman
Craig Firenze
Dez Hunter
Dr. Elise Jeffries
Minka Lopez
Nell Murphy
Olga Nicolaev
Dr. Mei-Lin Quan

The Mettle Universe
Self Review: Mettle

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Dialogue Tags — How to Use them the Right Way

“It’s time,” I said, “to talk about dialogue tags.”

What are dialogue tags? Why do they matter? For anyone who writes fiction—and even for a lot of people who write nonfiction—inevitably, a character says something or other.

Yes, yes, I know about picture books. But I’m not talking about them here. They are a rather small subset of the writing experience. And virtually ever other genre is 100% filled with books where there is at least one line of dialogue.

Oh, and if you’re here for social media advice, sorry! This one’s only for writers. Unless dialogue tags float your boat. #NotJudging

What are Dialogue Tags, Anyway?

So, what is it that I’m writing about?

These are the bits of written speech where a person is designated as being the speaker.

Er, what?

“I like cheese,” she said.

Over there ↑, that she said part? That is a dialogue tag.

So, can we pack up this blog post and go home now?

Not yet.

Because this tends to be a very misused part of the writing experience.

It also tends to be a missed opportunity (and yeah, I’ve messed these up, so I feel your pain).

Punctuation

Let’s start here. Get to know and love the humble comma (,). Because it is about to be nearly a 100% go-to for you, when it comes to writing dialogue tags.

However, I must give you one enormous caveat: British, Canadian, Australian, and other non-US English-speaking countries tend to treat punctuation differently from Americans. Neither one is specifically ‘right’ or ‘wrong’. All I can tell you is: pick one style, and stick with it.

Nearly always, these tags are married to at least one comma and often one period as well.

Let’s return to our thrilling example:

“I like cheese,” she said.

See that comma before the closing quotation mark? That sucker there is mandatory. Yeah, you’ve gotta use it, too.

But, but the speaker has made a complete statement. Shouldn’t there be a period there instead? Nope! The period, in this instance, comes after the tag. I’ll get to placement in a moment.

Just know that, nearly always, commas and dialogue tags are the literary equivalent of peanut butter and jelly. Click to buy Untrustworthy on Amazon

Exceptions

There are not too many. One is body language attributions, which I will also get to later. But another is the incomplete or interrupted sentence. Such as:

“I like—” she said.

Now, can you use an ellipsis (…) instead of an emdash (—)? Eh, maybe. But I like the emdash, and I feel it looks cleaner. I’m not the only one. But be aware that a lot of people and AI tests will flag emdashes because AI programs love them so much.

And, apart from looking cleaner, it is very easy to become what is essentially an emdash addict. FYI, this is a longer dash than the one which MS Word gives you if you toss a hyphen between two spaces, or you smash two hyphens together (those are endashes).

You can make it by typing alt-0151. And if you ever need to make the shorter endash, that’s just alt-0150. Technically, the endash is used for a range of numbers or dates.

So, if you’re interrupting speech, either with an aside, or action, or other dialogue, you can use an emdash.

Examples

Here’s one (interrupted speech):

“I like—” she said.

Here’s another (interruption with other dialogue):

“I like—”

“You like everything.”

And here’s a third (speech interrupts the action):

She opened the fridge door— “I like cheese”—and all the dairy promptly fell out and onto the kitchen floor.

But again—for the cheap seats (see how easy it is to get addicted to emdashes? I need help)—almost always, you’ll use a comma.

Toss Your Dialogue Tags Up Front and Introduce the Speaker Immediately

There are three separate places where you can put dialogue tags. The beginning, middle, or the end. And no, I am not being facetious here. So, let’s start at the, well, the start.

She said, “I like cheese.”

There ya go. As with nearly any initial letter in a sentence, the s in she is capitalized. Then, after the verb comes the comma. And then, the quotation marks and your glorious sentence of speech.

Mary said, “I like cheese.”

Immediately, we know the speaker.

But try not to use this construction:

Said Mary, “I like cheese.”

That is, unless you’re trying to imitate more archaic forms of writing. To most of us, it sounds and looks wrong (even though, technically, it’s okay). Avoid this and you won’t trip up your readers.

Let’s move further into the sentence.

Middle Placement—and How it Can Help You Avoid Emdashes and Other Interruptions

Heh. But seriously, folks, the overuse of anything in fiction is not a good idea. So, how do you interrupt speech with dialogue tags? By shoveling them into the middle, of course!

“I like cheese,” she said, “and I also like lettuce.”

If the speech was all together, then it would look like this:

“I like cheese, and I also like lettuce.”

This speech is a compound sentence, which means it’s just two separate, complete thoughts, bound together by a comma, which is directly followed by a conjunction (for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so are the big ones. And yes, the acronym is FANBOYS).

You can use this method for two separate sentences, too.

“I like cheese,” she said. “I also like lettuce.”

Whoa! Wait a second. There’s a period there.

Well, of course there is. Because if the speech was kept together, it would look like this:

“I like cheese. I also like lettuce.”

No comma, no conjunction? Then in this instance, it’s just a pair of simple sentences. Hence the dialogue tag picks up the period.

Tossing dialogue tags in the middle is one way to create a level of drama, because the reader naturally pauses (this is also why so many of us love emdashes, but I digress).

Middle placement is also great when someone talks for a long time. Lots and lots of speaking in one shot can be harder to read. Hence, adding dialogue tags in the center gives the reader a break.

Caboose Dialogue Tags—Save ’em for the Bitter End

This is a very common usage. Now, our speech reads:

“I like cheese,” Mary said.

Or

“I like cheese,” said Mary.

Either is fine. You can mix those up until the cows come home.

There is one disadvantage to this. Unless the reader can immediately infer who’s speaking, they might start reading, thinking it’s John who’s talking. But then they get to the end and, oops, it’s really Mary declaring her love of dairy products.

I wouldn’t recommend putting dialogue tags at the end of very long speeches, either. It helps the reader out a lot more for the speech to either be interrupted by a tag or at least introduced by one.

No Dialogue Tags? No Problem!

Tired of using them? It’s okay. There are times when you can avoid them entirely.

If you’re good at differentiating your speakers, then at least some of your speech can go without dialogue tags.

“Mary, you’re being selfish, hogging all the cheese.”

“No, John, you will never come between me and my dairy addiction.”

“But sweetie, I was saving that cheese for our anniversary.”

Or whatever (this example has taken a turn, eh?).

But people don’t normally say each others’ names that often in realistic speech. Still, if you can make the speaker obvious, you can probably scotch a few dialogue tags. One way to do so is with what they say. Another is with how they say it.

Maybe John is from the sticks and has a thick accent.

“But sweetie, I was savin’ that thar cheese for our anniversary.”

But beware: overdoing accents and dropping letters and using dialect will not endear you to your readers.

Let’s have Mary tell us she’s speaking without using a tag or saying John’s name:

“No, you will never come between me and my dairy addiction. I’ve craved it throughout my pregnancy.”

Or

“… ever since I was in Girl Scouts.”

If you prefer.

I would also caution you: no matter how fabulously unique your characters’ speech patterns are, don’t lose all the dialogue tags. That way, readers won’t lose their place.

Body Language Attributions Instead of Dialogue Tags

Er, what?

A body language attribution is when you toss out said and go with an action instead.

“I like cheese.” Mary winked at the cheesemonger, and hitched up her skirt.

Or:

John threw the brie across the room. “How ya like your cheese now?”

Or:

“We’ve got a lovely camembert.” Dave the cheesemonger glanced around. “Are you sure your husband didn’t follow you into the shop?”

Showing Over Telling with BLAs (Body Language Attributions)

Using BLAs is directly related to showing versus telling. Mary’s flirtatious. We can tell this immediately from her wink and her flashing a little leg. John’s angry. We can tell this because he threw the cheese and then the follow-up line reads as angry sarcasm.

Dave’s nervous. His looking around isn’t enough to tell us that. But the second half of his dialogue makes his jitters a lot clearer to the reader.

BLAs add interest to a story, and they work as a supplement to standard dialogue tags.

Mary smiled, but there was lipstick on her teeth. “I got to the shop as fast as I could. Do you think John followed me?”

What does the lipstick on Mary’s teeth mean? Maybe she was in a rush, which she says in her speech. Or she could also be nervous, which the second line of speech tells us.

“Just how tall did you say your husband is?” Dave wiped the sweat from his brow.

Now Dave’s not just nervous. He’s scared, too.

John paced around the room. “Where did Mary go?” He punched the wall and gouged a hole in the cheap drywall.

John’s doing more than wondering. He is mad as hell. The brie might not be the only thing that goes flying. But without the BLAs, his question feels innocent and caring.

Now, let’s address something you may or may not have noticed—and don’t worry if you didn’t see it.

Say, Say, Say

For every one of these dialogue tags, I used a form of the verb to say. But, but—I hear you cry—that’s so boring!

dialogue tags

Fret not.

Boring is kinda the point.

Wait, what?

Repeat after me:

The dialogue tags are not as important as the dialogue.

Seriously.

Using to say (and its forms) is economical and unobtrusive. Here’s what happens when you don’t:

“I like cheese,” Mary breathed.

John hissed, “How ya like your cheese now?”

“We’ve got a lovely camembert,” Dave stated. “Are you sure your husband didn’t follow you into the shop?”

“Maybe,” Mary screeched.

Dave babbled, “I’m a dead man.”

“Yer darn tootin’,” announced John.

It’s too much, isn’t it? And if it doesn’t feel like too much, then feel free to grab my stellar—heh—prose and add several more lines of dialogue. And use a thesaurus to lard it up with a bunch of words that call far too much attention to themselves.

I know, I know, you love your SAT words. I’m a fan of them, too. But they’re a lot like habanero peppers. A few touches here and there are lovely. Too many, and you end up in the Emergency Room.

A little is enough.

Exceptions to Say

It wouldn’t be a rule if it didn’t have exceptions. To say will work about 85% of the time. What about the other 15%?

A good 10% of the overall should be forms of the verb to ask. Not inquire. Ask.

That last 5%? 4.5% should go to terms like whisper and shout (and many of shout’s synonyms, like yell, holler, and scream). These are useful because they do more than act as dialogue tags. They are also a form of body language attribution.

And that final .5%? Knock yourself out with your SAT words, if you like. You’ll probably find you don’t miss them much, or that they have a lot more power when they have a lot less volume.

“Where were you last night?” John demanded.

“N-nowhere,” Mary sobbed.

“She’s in love with me and my cheese,” Dave revealed.

Sprinkle, don’t shovel.

Dialogue Tags: Takeaways

Use a form of to say almost all the time, and use a form of to ask for any questioning. Anchor with a comma at the start or end, and with two commas (one on either side) if you’re putting dialogue tags in the middle of sentences or paragraphs.

Break it up by varying where you put the tags, and even drop them altogether if the speaker’s identity is clear. Spice up your prose with body language attributions. Use alternative speech verbs sparingly.

Which Dialogue Tags to Use How often?
To say and its forms 85.00%
To ask and its forms 15.00%
Whisper and shout (and its synonyms) and their forms   4.50%
Other verbs   0.50%
TOTAL 100.00%

And now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to make a grilled cheese sandwich.


Dialogue Tags—make them work for you!

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Character Review — Ixalla

Consider Ixalla, One of My Original Characters

Who is Ixalla?

When I first started to write the novel Untrustworthy, the idea what that Tathrelle was going to be the main character. But I fell in love with Ixalla. Now, Tathrelle is still the protagonist. But her wife became something more while I was writing her.

Where Did Ixalla Come From?

The circumstances under which I wrote Untrustworthy are maybe a little odd. The main idea for the book came to me in a dream, as some of my book ideas have. But initially, the only ‘face’ I saw was Tathrelle’s.

In fact, there originally wasn’t a lesbian relationship. But as I got to know the characters and the plot (and keep in mind, I was writing this during 2013 NaNoWriMo, so everything happened a lot faster than it usually would), Ixalla started to take on more importance.

The Past is Prologue — Backstory for Ixalla

The truth is, there isn’t much of one. Unlike Tathrelle, Ixalla just kind of appears fully formed, as if she was the armored Athena springing from the head of Zeus.

When the story starts, all we really know about her, apart from her being pregnant, is that she’s a schoolteacher. She teaches the Tenth Form which is meant to be the high school level.

Description

Without giving away too much of the plot of Untrustworthy, Ixalla’s appearance does change within the context of the story. When we first see her, she has blonde hair and blue eyes. But later, she has brown hair, and reddish eyes.

Oh, did I mention that she’s an alien?

Yep, Ixalla is a Cabossian. There are no humans in that book. None!

So, there’s really no actress who I can point to and say, “That’s Ixalla.”

As for how she sounds, the aliens in this book have very stilted speech—and that’s the idea. They’re aliens. They shouldn’t be talking, acting, or looking like us.

Quotes

“Student Number Five!” Ixalla exclaimed, “I will remind you of the rules. You are referred to by a youthful number and not by name, and there is a very good reason for this. It is because students have varying degrees of wealth and status. By using your youthful number designations – and those are your classroom designations, and not your actual numbers, which will come when you are of age – we can educate everyone, regardless of whether their parents are in the government or drive a transportation sleigh. As a result, you cannot speak about what either of your parents does, or even if both of your parents are male, or they are both female, or if they are mixed. I trust I make myself clear? Or would you prefer having the Lead Educator explain it to you again?”

Relationships

Ixalla’s main relationship is with Tathrelle. But as the book goes on, Tathrelle is essentially taken away from her. When Ixalla leaves, an authority officer flirts with her. But it’s nothing serious.

And even later, she essentially adopts two lost children. One is just called Student Number Seventeen, whereas the other has even less of a designation. I just called her the Unknown Girl.

Conflict and Turning Point

Even though she’s technically not the main character, Ixalla essentially picks up the main thread of the narrative. She acts as the main character whenever Tathrelle is off-screen.

Hence the conflict for her is virtually the same as Tathrelle’s—something is changing their world, and those changes are not for the better.

For Ixalla, the turning point comes when she arrives at the school drunk and yells at the Tenth Form. She starts off as an outsider and spectator and the kind of person who doesn’t get involved.

And then she becomes a revolutionary.

Continuity/Easter Eggs

This work has the least amount of continuity with my other works, as it kind of can’t. The characters are far too different and the scenario is way too dissimilar. Hence there’s little to no continuity with her, or cross-referencing.

One of the closest characters to her in another universe is possibly Elise Jeffries in the novel Mettle. Elise is just as intelligent and is also a not-so-main character who gets a lot of airtime anyway. But that’s about where any similarities end.

Future Plans

Again, without getting into spoiler territory too much, I can’t have future plans for this character because the book is, at heart, a tragedy.

But I love her spirit, how she goes from being domestic and intellectual to a street smart, resourceful, scrounging survivor.

Ixalla and Future Inspiration

For this character, I think the main form of inspiration I can get from her is the idea that a character can even surprise the writer. You may have certain plans, but it’s the character’s voice and the character’s desires that will win out in the end.

Ixalla showed me that she was more than just a place to bounce Tathrelle’s thoughts off. And once she had showed me that, she became three-dimensional.

Ixalla: Takeaways

For this character, perhaps my favorite bit about her is that she was never intended to be this big and this vital. But after a few days of writing her and Untrustworthy, the genie was out of the bottle, and she became more.

Ixalla—for when you need a revolutionary in your prose.Click to buy Untrustworthy on Amazon


Want More of Ixalla and the Rest of Untrustworthy?

If Untrustworthy resonates with you, then please be sure to check out my other blog posts about how an alien society all-too easily devolves into fascism.

Character Reviews: Untrustworthy

Character Review—Adger
Character Review—Tathrelle
Character Review—Velexio
† Character Review—Student #17

Untrustworthy Universe
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Writing Progress Report – Fourth Quarter 2021

Progress Report – Fourth Quarter 2021

How was fourth quarter 2021 for writing? So, I spent fourth quarter 2021 working on Time Addicts 3: Everything is Up for Grabs for NaNoWriMo! This was the third novel in the Time Addicts trilogy.

Fourth Quarter 2021 Posted Works

First of all, I worked on pretty much just NaNoWriMo. While I did some short story work, most of my time was devoted to wrapping up Time Addicts.

Then on Wattpad I posted on the WattNaNo profile and the Star Trek Fans profile, and nowhere else.

Milestones

Also, I have written over two and a half million words (fan fiction and wholly original fiction combined). So right now my stats on Wattpad for wholly original works are as follows:

• Dinosaurs – 37 reads, 9 comments
† How to NaNoWriMo – 23,475 reads, 320 comments
• My Favorite Things (like kibble) – 974 reads, 133 comments
Revved Up – 59,350 reads, 530 comments
• Side By Side – 17 reads, 1 comments
† Social Media Guide for Wattpad – 14, 720 reads, 591 comments
• The Canadian Caper – 493 reads, 37 comments
The Dish – 250 reads, 24 comments
• There is a Road – 189 reads, 28 comments
† WattNaNo’s Top Picks 2018 – 1,870 reads, 45 comments
• WattNaNo’s Top Picks 2019 – 1,630 reads, 10 comments
† What Now? – 2,500 reads, 104 comments

More Published Works

Also, I am amassing quite the collection of published works!

Untrustworthy, which is my first published novel. So yay!

A True Believer in Skepticism, to be published in Mythic MagazineAlmost Shipwrecked, a story in the January 2019 edition of Empyreome (link no longer works, alas!). Canaries, a short story in the March 29, 2019, edition of Theme of Absence.

Complications, a story in the Queer Sci Fi Discovery anthology. Also, this is an anthology where the proceeds went to supporting the QSF website.

Cynthia and Wilder Bloom, stories in the Longest Night Watch II anthology.

Props, a story in the Longest Night Watch I anthology. So this is an anthology where the proceeds go to Alzheimer’s research.

Surprises, a story in Book One of the 42 and Beyond Anthology set.

The Boy in the Band, a story in the Pride Park anthology. So this is an anthology where the proceeds go to the Trevor Project.

The Interview, the featured story in the December 14, 2018 edition of Theme of Absence. Also, they even interviewed me!

The Last Patient, a story in the Stardust, Always anthology. This was an anthology where the proceeds go to cancer research.

The Resurrection of Ditte, a story in the Unrealpolitik anthology.

This is My Child, a short story published in the April 8, 2019 edition of Asymmetry Fiction, another site which is no more.

Killing Us Softly, a short story published in Corner Bar Magazine. And Darkness into Light, a short story also published in Corner Bar Magazine.

WIP Corner

So my current WIPs are as follows:

The Obolonk Murders Trilogy – so this one is all about a tripartite society. But who’s killing the aliens?

The Enigman Cave – can we find life on another planet and not screw it up? You know, like we do everything else?

The Real Hub of the Universe Trilogy – so the aliens who live among us in the 1870s and 1880s are at war. But why is that?

Mettle – so it’s all about how society goes to hell in a hand basket when the metals of the periodic table start to disappear. But then what?

Time Addicts – No One is Safe – so this one is all about what happens in the future when time travel becomes possible via narcotic.

Time Addicts – Nothing is Permanent – this is the second in this trilogy. What happens when time is tampered with and manipulated in all sorts of ways? It’s the ultimate in gaslighting, for one thing.

Time Addicts – Everything is Up For Grabs – this is the third in this trilogy. When timelines are continually shifting and changing, it gets harder and harder to determine what’s supposed to be real. And what’s not.

Prep Work

So currently, my intention, for next year’s NaNoWriMo, is that I am going to start writing the third trilogy of three in the Time Addicts/Obolonks universe. But I will need to iron out the plot! And as I look at what I’ve got written and its loose ends, I will try to formulate … something. We’ll see.

Fourth Quarter 2021 Queries and Submissions

So here’s how that’s been going during fourth quarter 2021.

In Progress

As of fourth quarter 2021, the following are still (allegedly) in the running for publishing:

This list is the name of the story and then the name of the potential publisher.

I Used to Be Happy – Gemini Magazine
Justice – Adbusters
Mettle – RAB
Soul Rentals ‘R’ Us – A Thousand One Stories
Who Do We Blame for This? – Sonder Review

All Other Statuses

So, be sure to see the Stats section for some details on any query statuses for fourth quarter 2021 which were not in progress.

Stats

So, in 2018, my querying stats were:

68 submissions of 19 stories

• Acceptances: 4, 5.88%
† In Progress-Under Consideration: 3, 4.41% (so, these don’t seem to have panned out)
• In Progress: 10, 14.71%
† Rejected-Personal: 14, 20.59%
• Rejected-Form: 24, 35.29%
† Ghosted: 13 (so, these were submissions where I never found out what happened), 19.12%

So, in 2019 my querying stats were:

23 submissions of 11 stories (so, 6 submissions carry over from 2018)

• Acceptances: 4, 17.39%
† In Progress: 11 (so, this includes 2 holdovers from 2018), 47.83%
• Rejected-Personal: 4, 17.39%
† Rejected-Form: 3, 13.04%
• Ghosted: 1 (so, these are submissions where I never found out what happened), 4.35%

2020 Stats

So, in 2020 my querying stats were:

37 submissions of 12 stories (so, 9 submissions carry over from 2019)

† Acceptances: 3, 8.11%
• In Progress: 7, 18.92%
† Rejected-Personal: 12, 32.43%
• Rejected-Form: 4, 10.81%
† Ghosted: 11 (so, these are submissions where I never found out what happened), 29.73%

2021 Stats

So in 2021 my querying stats are: 5 submissions of 5 stories (so, all of these submissions carry over from 2020); 100% Ghosted

Sigh. Yeah, it’s like that. But I’ll be the first person to admit that I need to be more proactive. A lot more proactive.

It can be pretty discouraging and hard to go on when nothing new comes up which is positive.

This Quarter’s Productivity Killers

So it’s work, what else? I am busier than ever, and I don’t see an end in sight. Because there is no way that fourth quarter 2021 will be the end of that!

Fourth quarter 2020 had more querying. Ah, well.

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Longest Night Watch 2

A Look at Longest Night Watch 2

The Longest Night Watch 2 is the second indie author anthology dedicated to fighting Alzheimer’s. All of the writers are independent authors. And we all hate Alzheimer’s.

In the United States, 5.4 million Americans have the disease. That number will rise in the next few decades as the population continues to age. We are not doctors. But we are writers. And so we are offering this work. All of the proceeds go to research. Because we don’t keep a dime of it.

Who Are We?

The team consists of: Amanda Parker Adams, Andrew Barber, AR Harlow, Becca Bachlott, Brittany Tucker, Carol Gyzander, Cayleigh Stickler, D.R. Perry, Debbie Manber Kupfer, Fiona Teh, Georgette Frey, and Janet Gershen-Siegel (er, that would be me).

Also, Jennifer Stibbards, Joshua L. Cejka, Kate Post, Katelyn Scarlett, L. Anne Wooley, Michael J. Medeiros, Michael Walton, R.R. Virdi, Ryn Richmond, Skye Hegyes, Thomas E. Harper, Trine Jensegg, Virginia Carraway Stark and the team of The Longest Night Watch.

So this was our second time doing this. Last year, we all came together because of Sir Terry Pratchett’s death. That book was a success. Therefore, the second time around was to see if lightning will strike again.

This Year’s (2016) Urgency

Last year, it was Terry Pratchett. But this year it was Gene Wilder. And now we have also learned Terry Jones of Monty Python is afflicted. Because this disease shows no mercy. As much as we love these entertainers (and Jones is a medieval studies scholar), Alzheimer’s just plain does not care.

But we do.

My Contributions to The Longest Night Watch

For this year, I added two stories. Cynthia is about the decline of Alzheimer’s as witnessed by a rather unexpected narrator. Wilder Bloom was written rather quickly and was, of course, about Gene Wilder.

Where You Can Get The Book

Right now, the book is listed on Amazon (currently it is available on Kindle only, but that will change) and it is on GoodReads.

How You Can Help

Please buy the book, and leave a review. Even bad reviews help, as they put our link in more places. So you don’t have to love the book. That’s okay.

And so we thank you.

Oh, and there was going to be a third…

Whither Longest Night Watch 3?

We did have plans for it, back in the day. But those have fallen apart. A pity, as I have truly loved working with these people. Also, this is an important cause to me. But alas, such was not to be.


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Self-Review – Revved Up

Review – Revved Up

Revved Up rocks.

It is the kind of story I tossed off rather quickly and then it just sort of took on a life of its own. Which was very cool but also rather unexpected.

Background

I got the idea for this story because I had recently stayed at my childhood home and noticed something odd in the front yard. And the truth is, it was nearly nothing. However, I sometimes have an overactive imagination, and so I took this idea and I ran with it.

What did I notice? It was only a few ruts near a flower bed. They were nothing, really, and were most likely made by a hoe or a rake. However, in my mind, I decided they would be tire tracks. And then the fun started.

The Plot of Revved Up

A holier than thou narrator starts telling a story to an unnamed police officer. The plot circles around the narrator’s elderly parents’ next-door neighbors. Pretty soon, the narrator starts referring to them as the POJ Family. That is, the “Pair of Jerks”.

As the story progresses, our narrator gets more and more self-righteous as the POJ Family continues to perform more and more outrageous acts in her parents’ sleepy, leafy Northern New Jersey suburban street.

Note: my folks lived on Long Island at the time, and my father doesn’t even live in the inspiration house any more.

Sharp-eyed readers should be able to follow along, at least in part. The narrator keeps a lot of information close to the vest, so it pays, actually, to read the book again. And no, I’m not trying to inflate read counts.

Characters

I never actually name anyone in the story. The main character is the narrator, who is telling the story to an officer of the law. The other characters are her elderly parents, her son and daughter, various neighbors, and her next-door nemeses, the so-called POJ family.

The narrator is a divorced middle-aged woman and that’s all a reader learns about her. Her children are teenagers; her parents, elderly and coming to the time in their lives when they’re just about ready to move into assisted living.

As for the POJ family, they have a decidedly more earthy philosophy than our heroine. And so she takes matters into her own hands.

Memorable Quotes

I returned to my parents’ home and the three of us began washing the many plates – eighteen in all. My mother declared that perchance these city people did not understand our ways and so she carefully hand-lettered a number of delicately-worded thank you notes to everyone in the neighborhood. We knew who had provided the apple pie, the cherry cobbler and even the New York-style cheesecake.

Story Postings

The story’s sole posting is on Wattpad, where it became a Featured Story a few years ago. I hope you’ll get a chance to check out Revved Up on Wattpad

Rating for Revved Up

The story has a K rating.

Upshot for Revved Up

This story has had better traction than nearly anything I have ever written. With (as of the time of the updating of this blog post) over 59,500 reads and over 500 comments (many of which referenced the surprise ending), Revved Up remains an unqualified success. Of course having had Featured Story status for several months helped a great deal.

Could I sell it? I have toyed with that idea, but the story is so odd and it’s really too short for a novel. Plus it does not really lend itself to a sequel or even a prequel. While sequels are far from necessary, it can help if that’s an option. But I am totally fine without one.

Revved Up — because villains don’t have to look evil on the outside….


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NaNoWriMo Advice for All

NaNoWriMo Advice for All

NaNoWriMo advice? Yes; I’ve won it every year I’ve entered.

This is (for real!) how to do NaNoWriMo. Learn from my mistakes!

Preliminaries

1) Plan if you can and if that helps you. I would suggest even pantsers should at least do research in advance. No sense in looking up how to say “I love you” in Latvian during November if you can do it beforehand. And no, that’s not cheating.

Dailies

2) Write every single day. It should be at least 1667 words, but even 1 word beats the hell out of none. I have found this is some of the best NaNoWriMo advice I have ever gotten. Writing every day gets you into a habit.

Move Ahead if You’re Stuck

3) Can’t write chapter 4? Then skip it and write chapter 5. You’ll go back, or maybe chapter 4 will turn out to be superfluous. You’ll stitch it together later.

Don’t Edit!

4) Don’t edit! Do that in January or February (in December, either finish or just leave it). In November, it’ll eat up time when you should be writing.

Manage Family Expectations

5) Tell your family or whoever you live with that you’re doing it. Ask someone else to take the kids for an hour, or say you’ll make dinner all December if someone else does it in November, etc. Just, set expectations and get some help from others to get all the other little things done around your home. E. g. my husband isn’t a writer but he’ll put on his headphones at his desk while I’m writing so his computer sounds won’t bother me. Little things like that help.

Getting Ahead

6) If and when you can get ahead, do so. Can you write 1800 or 2000 words or more instead of 1667? Then go for it. No law says you have to stop at 1667 and call it a day. If you’re feeling it, have at it!

November 30th Isn’t Some Magic Day When Suddenly You Have to be Done With Your Story

7) The story does not have to be finished at 11:59 PM on November 30th. You just need 50,000 words. For the last two years in a row, I finished NaNoWriMo in the middle of November but didn’t finish the books (they were both over 100,000 words) until January. No, this is not cheating.

Nixing Writer’s Block

8) Got writer’s block? Then step away from the keyboard and exercise for 15 – 30 minutes. Pump iron, take a walk, play frisbee, beat the rugs, shovel snow. I don’t care. Just burn calories and then go back to it. Because it really does help.

Comparison is the Thief of Joy

9) Don’t compare your accomplishments to others. Because there will always be someone who writes 100,000 words in one day or something like that. And there will always be people complaining that they’re behind. Also, there will always be people typing up until the very last second, and there will always be people wasting time online. Don’t worry about them.

Just take care of your own work and leave them to theirs. Their issues, quirks, and complaints are none of your concern.

Very Important NaNoWriMo Advice: Back Up Your Work!

10) Back up your work! I back up in three rather different places – my hard drive, a flash drive, and OneDrive, which is Microsoft’s cloud storage. So I highly recommend a similar setup for everyone. I had to replace a computer right before 2017 NaNo but I lost none of my prep work because it was on two places other than my old laptop’s hard drive.

There is always someone who loses their work during November. And I have seen it all, from soda on keyboards to toddlers stomping on flash drives and breaking them, to power outages. Don’t be that person.

Sabotage

Lots of people get this, and sometimes a friend or a loved one doesn’t even realize they are doing this. Remember what I said about managing family expectations? You may need to reiterate this. Or you may need to put it in writing so it’s not “forgotten”. Your solutions might be to get up early to write before others are up, or at lunch break, or during a commute, or late at night when everyone’s gone to bed.

Got headphones (or at least earbuds)? Then put those suckers on, even if you play no music at all. This is body language. You are busy and working; others will just have to wait. And tough on them.

You Take Care of You – And Guard Your Writing Time Jealously

Here is also where expectation management comes in handy. If your family was already told you would not be cooking in November, then they can’t say on the fourth that you didn’t warn them. You can also stave off some of this with family preparations before the first rolls around. Got a slow cooker? Then make a bunch of meals and freeze them for during the month. Get the kids’ haircuts and dentist appointments out of the way in October. You get the idea.

If it’s someone or something that really can’t wait (your toddler is screaming, your mother is in the emergency room, or your spouse is seriously threatening divorce), then by all means stop what you’re doing in order to deal with that.

And if you don’t make it to 50,000 words, it’s okay. Really, it is. NaNoWriMo exists so that writing, which is an often solitary endeavor, gets a social component. But that’s it. If you write in December or October, or you write less than 50,000 words, or you never validate, it’s equally okay.

Some Final Words of NaNoWriMo Advice

The best NaNoWriMo advice I can give anyone is to have fun with it. Otherwise, what’s the point?

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Self-Review – The Badge of Humanity

Review – The Badge of Humanity

The Badge of Humanity is the upshot conclusion story in the initial Obolonks trilogy. It moves the action into more of the Peri-Dave romance. But it also follows to showing how she, Dave, and Tommy finally solve the murders.

Just like that universe’s society is tripartite, so are the three novels. So the first one, The Obolonk Murders, is devoted to the aliens. And the second work, The Polymer Beat, is dedicated to the semi-sapient and more than semi-sapient robots. Hence the third is all about humanity.

How Tommy figures out if that’s what he really wants, and how Peri regains hers.

The second and third novels also have somewhat punny titles. They both play off the police props of badges and walking a beat. But a badge is also an identifier. Hence, in this one, Tommy gets that particular badge.

Background for The Badge of Humanity

When I first started to write The Obolonk Murders, I had no plan and no idea it would turn into three books. At this point, I knew I really needed to finish up already. One thing Untrustworthy has proven, over and over again, is the value of an outline.

I knew the end had to happen, so the two biggest parts were solving the murders and, in some way, dealing with the Peri-Dave romance. I needed to tie up two very loose ends and do so in as satisfying a manner as possible.

Plot

Peri has to solve the last of the puzzle as more Obolonks are threatened. She senses they are the key to humanity’s future as the human population has swollen so much that it will soon overrun every inhabitable orb in the solar system. To leave the system means getting the secrets of interstellar travel. And the only ones who know that are Obolonks.

As Tommy continues to seek what is essentially humanness—the badge of humanity—Peri and Dave’s relationship heats up. There are too many distractions and the president of the solar system also seems to have something to hide.

Characters

The main character (as before) is Detective Sergeant Peri Martin. Secondary characters of note are Tommy 2000 (with a Tommy McFarland alias so as to cover up his robot identity), Dave Shepherd, Greg Shapiro, Akanksha Kondapalli, and the glamorous president of the solar system, Ms. Fankald Williams.

The scenes shift from the Boston Megalopolis on Earth, to Venus, Callisto, and Eris, and back, even to the Hague on Earth (the capital).

Memorable Quotes

“What’s that?” Peri asked a woman sitting nearby, who was an octogenarian like her parents were. The woman had on a knit suit in mint green. Mrs. Franklin? Fredericks? Francis?

“I asked you where you live.”

“Oh, I’m in the Boston Meg, right downtown in a high rise.”

“Back on Earth? That seems so old-fashioned. Don’t you want to grow eggplants with your parents?”

“Uh, no, that’s okay,” Peri tried to be polite about things, but she could scarcely conceive of anything more boring than supervising a far less sophisticated robot than Tommy—the kind known as a Jack or Lumberjackbot—as it tended to the care and feeding of umpteen eggplants for sale to markets as far away as Venus or the Neptunian System. “Someone’s got to haul in the undesirables, Mrs.—er, Ma’am.” Nice save, she congratulated herself wryly.

“Oh, yes, Earth has so much more crime than we have out here,” the woman observed.

“No, thank you, Mrs. Martin,” Tommy remained polite but was getting a little bit insistent, adding just a touch of emphasis to his surprisingly lifelike tenor voice.

“Well, there’s crime everywhere, Mrs., er, Ma’am,” Peri countered, adding, “Ma, he’s not interested in the food, okay? Don’t push.”

“Perdy, honestly! Now, Thomas,” Peri’s mother addressed Tommy, “I can’t understand why you’d be fasting on a day like today. Is it for a religious reason? Do you need to keep kosher, or halal, or vegan? Because I don’t think you need to lose any weight.”

“I need to,” the sophisticated robot’s bluish-greenish-grayish eyes moved rapidly, horizontally, a few times. Peri knew that he was checking his long-term memory for a suitable response, “watch.”

Rating

The book has a T rating. It’s not quite enough for MA, but there are sex scenes and they can be a touch explicit at times. Peri and Dave have a very active relationship.  As for violence, it’s more threatened than anything else.

The Badge of Humanity: Upshot

The quoted portion comes from the first scene in the first chapter. I think the series ends pretty well. In particular, as I become a more sophisticated writer, I can see the holes in it. But I can still see a ton of potential.

And that’s why this trilogy is the first of three trilogies. The Obolonk universe is far too well-developed to let go to waste.

But this book really needs beta readers! Because the last thing that I want is for the story to end on a less than perfect note. Any volunteers for the beta reader badge?

Is the badge of humanity the goal for every sapient robot? Maybe…?


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Self-Review – The Polymer Beat

Review – The Polymer Beat

The Polymer Beat moves the Obolonk action toward not just the robots which have an overall story line—it also explores main character Peri Martin’s romance with spy Dave Shepherd.

Just like that universe’s society is tripartite, so are the three novels. So the first one, The Obolonk Murders, is all about the aliens.

And this, the second work, The Polymer Beat, is dedicated to semi-sapient and more than semi-sapient robots. Hence the third is all about humans and is called The Badge of Humanity.

The second and third novels also have somewhat punny titles, with both playing off the police props of badges and walking a beat. The reference to polymer is because of robots. These books all have themes. This one is robots although I will admit it’s subtle.

The beat reference also connotes hearts beating.

Background

After I picked The Obolonk Murders back up again in 2014, I realized I had the makings of a trilogy on my hands. Hence The Polymer Beat became my 2014 NaNoWriMo project.

I also had a few dangling bits from the first book, including solving the murder and Peri’s disastrous first date with Dave.

Plot

As Peri and Tommy work on the Obolonk cases, Peri and Dave Shepherd get closer. Peri knows this is a bad idea, but she goes along with it anyway. And, as she and Tommy continue to try to find the killers, she notices Tommy’s simplistic robotic feelings are taking a turn. Could Tommy become jealous?

Characters

The main character (as before) is Detective Sergeant Peri Martin. The scenes shift from the Boston Megalopolis to various places in the Solar System, including Ganymede.

Other characters include Tommy, Dave, They Say This is the One, Sally Bowles AKA They Say This One Tiles Bathrooms Adequately, and lawyer Akanksha Kondapalli.

Memorable Quotes

“Were you programmed to be an optimist?”

He considered the question briefly. “I cannot tell.”

“That’s okay. You know I’m gonna have dinner with Shepherd tonight, right?”

“Yes,” he mumbled as she hoisted her bag onto the room’s sole bed.

Peri stopped what she was doing and came close to the robot. “What is it?”

“It is nothing.”

She looked at him closely. “If I didn’t know any better, Tom, I’d swear you were upset.” He stood there stoically, although she did see him scan once, briefly.

Peri returned to her bag and began unpacking it, stuffing most of her clothing into the top drawer of the room’s sole bureau. “I’m not even so sure why I’m going out with him, truth be told.”

“I do not understand.”

“Heh, I would explain it if I could. It’s not like my mini-phone’s been chiming all day with offers since Charlie died.”

“Is this,” the robot paused, maybe to select the proper words, “your first such offer since that event?”

“Event,” she echoed, taking a shimmering silver dress out of her bag, “that makes it sound as if there were engraved invitations, or something.”

“I did not intend that definition.”

“I know you didn’t. But you gotta understand, Tom, or at least just, just try to. I saw Charlie mortally wounded by a scrubbed hot gun. It happened right in front of me.”

“That is what your psychiatric evaluation said.”

Trembling, she looked daggers at him. “What else do you know about me that’s private?”

Rating for The Polymer Beat

The book has a T rating. There are no really violent scenes but there is an explicit sex scene. Occasional bad language, but not much.

The Polymer Beat: Upshot

Middle books in trilogies tend to drag, and this one is no exception. I need to improve it! In addition, beta readers would be helpful—hello!

It would be great to get some developmental editing help with the dragging parts in the middle to last third.

But I like the idea of it, and I think Tommy in particular gets developed much better. Dave remains an enigma, but that’s the idea. He is a spy, after all.

Yet for Tommy 2000, there’s more to walking the polymer beat than simply solving crimes.


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