The Real Hub of the Universe tells the story of Ceilidh O’Malley Barnes, who leaves her abusive husband and runs off to America. So it’s 1876, and she works as a scullery maid, disguising her heritage with a put-on English accent and a fake name, Kay Lee Charles.
Background
One of my favorite time periods is the Victorian era. But there are still so few films which deal with it. More likely, you get something about England or the like. Yet there are not so many about America.
I also love science fiction. And so one day I got the idea – aha! – I would combine the two.
So far as I am aware, this is a more or less unique idea (yes, I know about Star Trek: The Next Generation characters going to see Mark Twain).
Plot of the Real Hub of the Universe
When Ceilidh leaves Ireland, she knows absolutely no one. She ends up as a charity case on a freighter, where there is a mysterious first mate who wears only black and never smiles.
When the ship lands in Boston, it’s July 4—the Centennial. But nothing is open and there is no place for her to go.
But through pluck and luck, and by shedding her Irish name and putting on a fake British accent, she lands a job with the wealthy Edwards family.
She endures a lot of the standard indignities of the women of her time, including being paid less and being what we would now call sexually harassed.
She also notices the master of the house conducts meetings with some sort of society. Then he taps her to serve the society’s meetings, which are attended by the luminaries of the day – Ralph Waldo Emerson, Amos Bronson Alcott, Henry Brooks Adams, Judge John Lowell, and George Walker Weld.
After being mistreated by the mistress of the house one too many times, Ceilidh lands a job with Lowell. And then a mysterious visitor arrives, who says nearly nothing and hides his face. More worryingly, he immediately figures out she is not English. What’s she to do?
Characters
So the main character in the piece is Ceilidh O’Malley Barnes. Her twin impulses are to escape her abusive husband and to find work, and a lot of the story centers around that. The scenes shift from Ireland to England to the open Atlantic Ocean and then Boston, first at the Winthrop Edwards house, and then at the Judge John Lowell house.
For this book, she meets and befriends Frances Miller, her absolute bestie.
And, to explain why such a woman would leave Ireland and everything she ever knew, I wrote the prequel, The East Side of the Universe.
Memorable Quotes from The Real Hub of the Universe
There was a cackling sound not too far away. Someone was, maybe, having a glorious time, but it sounded unnatural, and a little forced. “What’s that?”
“That might be one of those things you shouldn’t be seein’.” Ned finished tying Phoebe’s reins to a post and picked up both parcels. “Over there, I think.” He inclined his head in the direction of where the smell of fish was stronger.
The two of them walked over and there was nearly no light beyond what the moon and stars could afford. A few small gas lamps were too far apart to be useful unless a person got really close to one of them. The tide lapped against the wooden docks and Ceilidh feared that either or both of them might fall in. She about jumped out of her skin when someone pulled the hem of her dress. “Who’s there?”
“What?” asked Ned. He had apparently not seen or felt anything.
Ceilidh bent down. It was a little girl, maybe three years old. Four? “Are you lost?” Ceilidh asked, although she had no idea how she could help a child in such an unfamiliar place.
“Have you a ha’-penny?” the little girl asked, her brogue thicker than Ceilidh’s or Ned’s.
“Where’s your Mam?” Ceilidh asked.
“Don’t, Cousin.”
“Why not?” Ceilidh straightened up for a moment.
“Because they will rob you.”
“I,” Ceilidh sighed. “Maybe if I’m not a stranger.” She bent down again. “I’m Ceilidh. What’s your name?”
“Siobhan.”
“Well, that’s a rather pretty name. Where’s your Mam, Siobhan?” The little girl just turned and pointed in the direction from where the cackling had come. In the dim light, something insect-like scurried in Siobhan’s hair. Instinctively, Ceilidh sprang back. “Oh, my!”
Rating
The book has a K+ rating. While the language is extremely proper to a fault, there are some swear words. There are also a few disturbing scenes.
Upshot
So I truly loved writing this series. It was great fun! Ceilidh’s character journey was a revelation to me. I always wanted her to make it somehow, but I was unsure of what that was going to be when I started. Stay tuned to find out just what that was.
Welcome to the Real Hub of the Universe #amwriting
Ah, chapter length, the place that bogs down so many writers. “What’s an ideal chapter length?” Or they might ask, “How long should a chapter be?” Of course, asking such questions can be an avoidance mechanism so you don’t actually have to write the blasted thing. Hmmm….
So, I have often told people: the ideal chapter length is whatever you are writing. But maybe that’s not quite right?
Don’t worry. I’ll explain.
Talking About Chapters
So, the bottom line is, we need to first talk about writing chapters.
What are chapters? Wikipedia (not always the best source but this is fine) says:
A chapter (capitula in Latin; sommaires in French) is any of the main thematic divisions within a writing of relative length, such as a book of prose, poetry, or law. A chapter book may have multiple chapters that respectively comprise discrete topics or themes. In each case, chapters can be numbered, titled, or both.
Er, okay.
So, what we are talking about here is quite simply a piece of a larger work.
Often, it is a discrete bit of the story, whether it’s a scene or a day or one character’s point of view. But it doesn’t have to be perfectly, tidily wrapped up at the end. And, in fact, it should not be. I’ll explain further down.
Starting a Chapter
I have started chapters (beyond the first one, which is different) in any number of ways. So, here’s the current first paragraph of the second chapter of The Obolonk Murders:
The HQ was a large, nondescript governmental building, much in the style of governmental buildings for decades, if not centuries. It had once been Boston’s City Hall. The office was bustling but they bypassed all of that as Peri led the way to Dolan’s office. Dolan was there, in all his five hundred pounds of glory. “Ah, Detective Sergeant Martin! And you brought Detective, er, why don’t you close the door and we can talk?”
Peri is a cop in the future, and has just gotten her non-human partner. The initial purpose of this chapter is obvious from the first paragraph. It’s to get her and her new partner to headquarters. I introduce new characters (such as Dennis Dolan) and it seems pretty obvious that the characters will talk about the case.
Which they do a bit. But since the chapter has more than one scene, it also switches over to Peri’s high rise apartment. So, does a chapter have to cover more than one scene? Not necessarily.
But if you move from scene to scene, you’ll either need transitional language or a scene break. Usually three asterisks (***) works best. I’ve never liked the idea of just adding a second empty line. If you read a piece on mobile, that subtlety might not carry over. But three asterisks are pretty obvious.
So, What is the Chapter Length of That One?
Right now, it’s 3,538 words, and runs for a good 20 pages. But the line spacing is odd on that one and I need to fix it. I suspect it’s really closer to 13 – 15 pages, maybe fewer. And I know I need to edit it.
But the chapter covers some good ground. They meet Dennis and talk about the case. The computers at HQ are attacked and Peri hears from a terrorist for the first time. Then, she and her robot partner go to her apartment which they find has been ransacked.
The scenes move along at a decent clip, and I like them all together like this. But like I said, I have to edit it. Still, I like the frenetic pace. It runs from a sit-down meet and greet to eventually Peri getting angry about what’s happened to her home. Hence, within this chapter, Peri transitions from semi-overconfident to having the case personally affect her.
How Does This Chapter End?
The final paragraph is:
“Yeah,” she nodded. “C’mon, we’re going to a motel. We can get this cleaned this up later. But let me toss a few things down the laundry chute. I’ll need some clothes soon.”
Much like Peri throws her clothes down a chute, the end of this paragraph has one purpose. That purpose is to start the reader down a chute. Where’s the end of the chute? Why, it’s in the first paragraph of Chapter 3, of course.
Teasing the Next Chapter as a Part of Chapter Length
Can’t recall where I heard this, but chapters should be like teasing your annoying little brother. That is, you keep the absolute end just out of reach and don’t add it until the next one. Think of it like movie posters and book covers for romance, where the couple is just about to kiss.
Of course, this is particularly key when you are ending Book 1 and need to get the reader interested in Book 2, its sequel. If you’re not writing a standalone, you have got to make getting to the next book irresistible to the reader. This does not necessarily mean writing a cliffhanger, although that should not be utterly off the table.
In a way, it’s like a call to action when you write advertising. What’s the action you want your reader to take? It’s to be so drawn in and so curious about what happens next that they can’t wait to order (or preorder) the next book in the series
Without getting into spoiler territory, this book ends with Peri becoming overconfident again. And at the last moment, she’s knocked down several pegs. The book comes full circle, and the reader should be (I hope!) invested enough to want to get to Book 2, The Polymer Beat.
Genres and Chapter Length
When it comes to chapter length, a chapter still should be the best length for serving the story. But there are some caveats to this.
There are genre-related numbers but they are guidelines. Still, paying attention to that is a part of better serving your audience/market. And why do we want to better serve our readers? Because it makes them want to continue reading! And, let’s face it, buying our stellar prose.
So, think about the standard pacing within your genre. A mystery or a thriller tends to have short chapters because the pacing needs to be tight. But for fantasy, you’ve got some room to spread out. Science fiction tends to run to the longer side of things but mixes things up.
Describing a sci fi world may mean a lot of detail. Hence, a longer chapter length. But a fight scene, if it’s the only thing in a chapter, will likely have to be snappy and quick.
What Happens When Chapter Length is Too Long?
All of this gets me back to chapter endings. Ending chapters with a little bit that isn’t said can also serve as a model for writing all of a chapter. When your chapter length is too damned long, consider the following:
Maybe you’re explaining things too much. Maybe your characters are too slow to make decisions, and it’s bogging down the action. Or maybe you’ve got a character who you can do without.
Consider how NaNoWriMo can also affect how we write. I know it affects my own work. Wanting to make word count at all costs can mean front loading a book. It can also mean oppressive dialogue and extra characters. Meandering is great for word count. But it also adds to chapter length. And it’s often the kind of addition that isn’t necessary.
Arguments. Descriptions. Directions. Side trips. Detours. Virtually any book will be better if you cut these down. And maybe even eliminate some of them. Also, consider the fluff of normal speech. We hesitate with er, em, huh, etc. And we also say please and thank you a lot. A polite character is one thing. But you don’t need to underscore their good manners on every page.
Keep your characters and their conversations from meandering, too. You and I might cover several topics when we speak, either in person or online. Real life is rarely in such a rigidly straight line, after all.
But your characters? You can focus them. And if you think a character is now impolite, there’s no reason why you can’t use a body language attribution and have them nod their thanks. Or use the occasion of a ‘please’ or a ‘thank you’ as a moment that serves the plot.
For example, Peri Martin continually thanks robots, even though they keep telling her that it’s unnecessary. And when a robot fails to reject gratitude, it’s a sign that there’s something up. Something that is not so good at all.
What Happens When Chapter Length is Too Short?
Well, you might just be okay. But consider this. If a chapter or any other part of a book feels too short, why is that so? It could mean you’re glossing over explanations. And it could mean you’re not doing the heavy lifting of description. Do you need to describe present-day Detroit in excruciating detail? Probably not. But 2528 Callisto? You’d better believe you need to show this to your readers.
So, consider the shortening ideas above. But this time, in reverse. Do characters make decisions too quickly? Are descriptors too straightforward? Do directions and journeys always go in a perfectly straight line?
Or you could see if you’d do better to combine two chapters. Another idea is: do nothing. That’s right. Nada! And it may just turn out to be the best thing you can do.
After all, Kurt Vonnegut got away with some ridiculously short chapters in Cat’s Cradle. But then again, neither you nor I are him, alas.
Chapter Length and Serving Your Readers
And one more quick thing. Think about how so many of us are pressed for time. A lot of people read while commuting or right before bed. In both cases, shorter chapters can serve the reader better—long as many of them end with a chute to push the reader to the next chapter.
Maybe your reader will stay up to read another chapter. Or they’ll be so excited that they’ll think about it all day and then start up again once they get home or the work day ends.
So, don’t get caught up quite so much on how long your chapters end up being. Readers will be a lot more forgiving than you may think, so long as the story is good. Care a lot more about how they start, how they end, and the stuff that you put into the middle.
Chapter length perfection can be fleeting…. #amwriting
Your Call is Very Important to Us – a Look at a Short Story
Your Call is Very Important to Us comes from a general concept of ‘the world turned upside-down’. I wrote this short story for the third volume of The Longest Night Watch. All of the proceeds will go to the Alzheimer’s Association. So that is, if we ever publish it.
I never name the narrator in ‘Your Call’. The reader just gets her husband’s name, Milo.
Background
The world has gone to hell in a handbasket, and we’ve dropped the bomb. And so has our unnamed other side. There’s devastation. No one and nothing will survive.
Enter our characters.
As the narrator says, her husband was a doomsday prepper. And while everyone thought he was nuts, they were okay even as the world came to an end.
So who’s sorry now?
But our narrator’s got one big problem. She’s bored out of her mind.
Plot for Your Call…
With nothing to do but read, eat, and fool around, the narrator and her husband are at the ends of their tethers. They are older people—there aren’t going to be any children. So they are not going to repopulate the earth.
The one break to the monotony comes in the form of something you and I both hate – automated telemarketer calls.
Of course, a ringing telephone in the middle of nuclear devastation is a cause for concern, wonder, hope, and fear. I will admit that a part of the idea came from Ray Bradbury’s classic Martian Chronicles story, The Silent Towns.
Characters in Your Call…
The only characters, apart from people the narrator talks to on the phone who may or may not still be alive, are the narrator and her husband, Milo. Milo never speaks and neither does the narrator. All the reader gets are her rambling, wacky thoughts, presumably in writing.
Memorable Quotes
When the bombs dropped, we were already ensconced in our shelter. Milo built it. Milo’s my husband. He was one of those doomsday preppers. People used to say he was crazy. But they’re not saying it now. Why not? Because they’re probably all dead. If the radiation and heat won’t get you, the germ warfare will, Milo says.
We live just outside of Henderson, Nevada. It’s near Las Vegas, or at least it was. I’m not so sure what’s up there anymore. It’s probably not much.
Rating
This story has a K+ rating. While the one sex scene takes place off screen (as it were), the backdrop is nuclear war, and of course that’s upsetting.
Upshot
So, one very big issue is that the volume has been delayed for what I believe is coming upon years. Yes, really. The story has been in limbo for—I believe—over four years. So will it ever be published? Right now, I’ve got to say, I have my doubts. Big, big doubts. And that’s unfortunate, because I really love this story. And I love the charity and the group. But I suppose we’ve got … issues.
Your call is very important to us — even after the end of the world. #amwriting
Mental energy is a mood, but can also be defined as ability or willingness to engage in cognitive work.
So, essentially, what I am talking about is the cerebral labor of writing. That is, as opposed to writing about it.
It’s Like Pie
Pumpkin pie slice representing mental energy. Image is for reference purposes only.
Wait, what?
So, hear me out.
The thing about pie is, of course, that it is finite. Never mind that you can always buy either a ready-made one or the ingredients for same. That is not what I am talking about.
Rather, what I mean is the concept of—this is it, it’s all I’ve got. That’s all there is, and there ain’t no more, if you will.
We Live in a Finite Universe
We have finite days and finite lives. Also, we have finite capacity. No matter how young you are, or your physical condition, you’ve got to sleep, right? At the same time, no matter how smart you are, inevitably you have to study at times. Even if that just means opening a book, memorizing it, and calling that “studying”.
Er, that’s not studying.
But I digress.
No matter what, we are talking about something that is excruciatingly finite. So, until we develop time travel, or some way to stretch time, then guess what? We have all got the same 24 hour mix to play with.
Why am I Talking About This Right Now?
When I first wrote this blog post, I was looking at Wattpad, and came across a passage in a work about NaNoWriMo. The passage essentially said that there’s always going to be someone or other who claims they wrote 100,000 words on the first day of November and is sitting pretty and essentially laughing at the rest of us poor peasants.
It’s a form of trash talking. I ignore it, and I urge everyone else to ignore it as well.
But, why?
Well, for one thing, it’s not likely to be the whole truth. Evidently, the fastest anyone has ever typed is 216 words per minute. Voice recognition isn’t necessarily any quicker, because you have to say the punctuation, formatting, and line breaks.
So, let’s do some math.
Only a little. I’m not insane. 😀
Math Time
So, 216 wpm * 60 minutes = 12,960 words/hour. And 100,000 ÷ 12,960 = just under 7.72 hours. So, it’s technically possible. But is it likely? Probably not, as this is assuming a person is typing at blazing speeds every second. No breaks, no fatigue, no distractions, no editing, and no writer’s block.
Even people with exceptionally detailed outlines will have a moment or two or twelve in there where they aren’t certain of where to go next. They will also get up to visit the facilities or pet their dogs, kiss their children, or make themselves a sandwich.
Why am I Talking About This Braggadocio?
It’s because of this. I have little doubt that those 100,000 words need a ton of editing. That’s the part which I think some folks want the rest of us to forget when they make such claims.
Writing takes time and serious mental energy.
You spend it…
Getting inspired
Planning
Writing
Editing
Packaging (i.e. marrying your manuscript to a cover, or to a title, or putting together a series, that sort of thing)
Querying
Marketing
Thinking up your next great thing
This is the finite piece. And now we go back to the pie example.
The Finite World We Live In
You can’t make the pie any bigger. Something’s got to give.
Banging out 100,000 words in a little under a full work day, without going over it, means typos. It means inconsistencies. And it means the last parts in particular are dominated by labor from a person who is exhausted. You cannot drink coffee or take speed, etc. your way out of it forever.
If you don’t spend time planning, you’ll spend it writing. And if you don’t spend time writing, you’ll spend it editing. If you don’t spend time editing, then packaging becomes enormous and takes longer. If you don’t work on packaging and spend time on it, then querying will take longer, because you’ll be faced with more rejections.
And finally, if you don’t spend time querying, and just take what you can get (and that includes self-publishing—no slam on it, but it is something we do without spending any time on querying), then you will spend that time on marketing.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
The energy will have to be used, and it will have to go somewhere. You will not be able to get away without doing the labor.
Shrinking That Finite World Down Even More
I’ve got a full-time job. I didn’t when I wrote Untrustworthy. But I do now. And that means eight (usually nine) hours are spent working. And I don’t even commute!
Unless you count walking from the bedroom to the office.
Hence let’s pull a third of a day out and toss it. I can’t spend it on writing this way. And neither can most people who have full-time employment.
Sleep? Cut another third of the day right off the top and 86 it. Even if you don’t sleep the full eight hours, it will catch up to you eventually. Not getting enough sleep means you’re not performing at peak efficiency. Plus, that can make you sick, so you would be out of commission for that reason, if nothing else.
So, even if you’ve got, say, an extra two hours, it’s likely that you’re not able to produce within those extra two hours (or several other hours, for that matter) if you don’t get enough rest.
What’s Left?
Personal hygiene, fitness, and meals tend to lop off at least another two hours, maybe as many as four. Household stuff like cooking, washing up, paying bills, cleaning, etc. can average out to around one-half to one hour per day. Even if you’re independently wealthy (or really lazy) and have someone else to do those things for you, you still need to eat, and you still need to clean yourself.
Again, it’s a matter of health. Any time you’re saving by not showering (eek!), you’ll most likely end up spending going to a doctor to get rid of a rash or an infection or worse. Do not do such things to yourself!
And this doesn’t even get into spending time with family or pets, or other forms of socializing, whether in person or online. Don’t put that stuff off forever, or your mental health will suffer, big time.
So, Where Do You Find the Time and the Mental Energy?
Most of the above isn’t just a drain on time. It’s also a drain on—you guessed it—mental energy. A long day spent, say, preparing tax returns, can wipe you out.
But I’ve got the weekend, you say.
Sure you do. And you may be spending it on writing. But there are likely other activities where you’re spending your time.
If you don’t spend time or mental energy on one, then you will spend it elsewhere. Maybe it’s dates or chauffeuring kids around or food shopping. It could be catching up on your sleep, too. Or maybe you’re binge watching something or other. Candy Crush may be calling your name.
Or, you just kind of zone out and suddenly it’s 8:43 PM when you thought it was only 6:43. Not that I’ve ever done that… Heh.
You could be a weekend warrior for fitness or maybe that’s when you clean your house. You do you. But at least there’s a little bit of time in there.
Here are a few places to slip it all in. And no, I am not suggesting that you go nonstop and work yourself to death. Don’t be silly.
The Shower
We all do this. It’s something to do with the relaxation and the rhythm of water. Our minds wander, and we can come up with ideas. This is, of course, not the time to edit. But remember all the stuff I mentioned above, about needing to market, etc.? Some of your shower time can be spent on that.
You can’t write anything down, so it’s not a good place for the specifics. It’s more for the big picture. It’s for the lightbulb moments of, hey, I could advertise on TikTok.
The Commute
Mine is nonexistent these days, but it didn’t used to be. You’ve got your phone with you, right? Then if you think of something on the bus or train, why not email it to yourself? Or put it in a document on a drive you can access from both work and home. The details are yours to figure out.
If you drive, then you can get more creative. Maybe you can essentially dictate while driving, and send the documentary product of voice recognition to yourself. But keep in mind—voice recognition often requires a lot of massaging. The tech is great but imperfect.
So, look around you. In particular, people watching can be extraordinarily inspiring. Why do people make the fashion choices they do, or wear their hair a certain way? And why do they take their kids to a restaurant, say—maybe you can do something with that. Or, why do they use smaller words, or speak a different language when it’s just them?
There are countless ways to consider the human condition, and they can mainly come from observation. Find your person to watch. And then think of a character who could be like that. Or, come up with a scenario to throw that person into. For example, what happens when the guy running a food truck has to go to war?
Exercise and Mental Energy
Now, this won’t work for fitness classes. But if you’re busy riding a stationary bike or chugging along on a treadmill, or walking in the woods, again, you’ve got your phone, yes? Working with your phone also means taking photos if need be.
This is another occasion to watch people.
First Thing in the Morning
This is something I will often do. I get up, do my ablutions and exercise. Then, I hit the laptop and write for a while. How much? Probably somewhere between 85 and 385 words on average. Then I turn off the home laptop, turn on the work laptop, and go downstairs to get breakfast. By the time I am back upstairs I’m in work mode.
During November of 2021, 2022, and 2023, I was getting up 30 minutes early. Not much, but it was something. Since you need to write at least 1,667 words per day on average to hit 50k by the 30th, it was helpful to have 200 – 250 or so words banged out already. 250 words is just under 15% of the absolute bare minimum. Not bad for something like 15 – 35 minutes.
It is highly likely that I will continue with this sort of a November schedule, as it’s a proven winner.
Right Before Bed
Don’t use your phone for this, as you’ll diminish the quality of your sleep. So, get a small pad of paper and a pen and scribble. Ideas, sentences, titles, character names, whatever. And keep that pad and pen next to your bed, for the next slot.
Middle of the Night Mental Energy
Have you ever had this happen to you, where you’re sleeping away and you wake up at maybe 3 AM with some sort of amazing idea? Or that dream had some narrative you feel you can harness.
Write that stuff down. In particular, this may help with insomnia. You won’t be laying there, trying to keep from forgetting something or other.
However, I do want to point out that sometimes your amazing middle of the night revelation is something like:
The Cold War on Toast
Well, they can’t all be gems.
Distribute Your Time and Mental Energy the Best Way Possible
This is reality, folks. You cannot be 100% on, all the time. Your body naturally cycles through peaks and troughs.
Know yourself. If you’re a morning person (I mainly am), then getting up early is for you. But if you do better at tea time, then take a work break if you can for 30 minutes, and do your thing. And then make up the time, of course.
And if you are truly terrible at some of the writing tasks, then there’s no shame in outsourcing them and paying someone to do them for you. As in—editing, marketing, and packaging. You may be able to hire someone to write your query for you or at least to help you polish yours.
And ghost writing has a long and semi-noble tradition. But where’s the fun in that?
Some Last Bits of My Own Mental Energy, Beamed Straight from My Brain to Yours
Insert weird sci-fi sound effect here.
This entire post is essentially about setting your priorities, when you get right down to it. Decide what you value in your life. And if that’s spending time with your child to the exclusion of a lot of other things, then hey, that’s fab. You do you. But also recognize that this means it’ll take longer for you to write and get to whatever you feel is your own personal finish line.
After all, you can always put your slice of pie in the freezer, to have another day.
Your writing mental energy is finite. Use it wisely.
How can demystifying Facebook help you, the independent writer? Is it passé? Can you even sell on it? Hint: it’s not just for Candy Crush anymore.
Demystifying Facebook for Independent Writers
Like other small business persons (for that is what an indie author is, right?), you have two separate lives on any social network. One is as an individual. You have friends, you have opinions. You might play games or write about politics. Or you might post memes or videos. You have fun, you express support or sympathy. And, let’s face it, you give and receive attention.
Your other life is as a writer. A writer who might need help marketing. Maybe a writer who might to bounce ideas off other authors. A writer who might need some help with a plot, or at least a sympathetic ear. You might want to talk to others who have been where you are.
Plus you might want to connect with people who can help you improve your craft. Those are beta readers, cover artists, and editors. They might be writers you admire, or even publishing houses which interest you.
And, let’s face it. You may be there to sell your stuff.
Demystifying Facebook and Socializing
As a writer, there is no reason for you to stop socializing online. On Facebook in particular, hanging out with other writers is a great idea.
But Why?
Because writing is, by definition, a solitary pursuit. Even collaborators and co-authors don’t trade the article for the noun for the verb for the adjective for another noun, or sentence for sentence or paragraph for paragraph. Instead, collaborators will generally write their own portion of a work and then give it to their partner, as the partner does the same.
They beta read for each other and combine the pieces, whether those are chapters or sections or the like. The details may differ, but it’s pretty inefficient to hang out together for the actual writing process (although they may get together to discuss plot).
Hangouts for Indie Writers
For independent writers, you have a few places on Facebook where you can hang out. These are my faves.
NaNoWriMo group online – if you compete to write 50,000 words in November or do Camp in April or June, then this is your scene. The group is large and generally friendly, although there are sometimes stretches of people stepping on toes. It’s best to hang back at the start and see how things go before you plunge in. There are also local NaNo Facebook groups.
Wattpad – if you belong to Wattpad, check them out on Facebook. Befriend fellow Wattpadders? And tell them your real name? Why not?
Queer Sci-Fi and other specialty genre groups – do some research, as these can have varying activity levels.
Services trading groups – your mileage will vary. Some are more active than others. And some might be more spammy than others.
Advertising groups – these tend to be bottom-feeding. If they are just a bunch of ads, and no one is liking or replying to the ads, then you know how effective they are.
Have I missed any groups? Add them in the Comments section!
Of course there is a lot more to demystifying Facebook. I’ll get to it soon. Stay tuned!
Let’s Look at Almost Everything But the Tweet — Twitter Metrics and the Art and Science of Tweet Timing
Metrics and timing. When you tweet may not seem to matter too much. In particular, if you don’t tweet too terribly often, your tweets will still be out there, so why bother to even care about timing?
Not so fast.
Patterns
According to The Science of Retweets, Twitter users tend to follow some recognizable patterns.
First thing Monday morning is prime time for retweeting; so is five o’clock on a Friday afternoon. And it’s always 5 o’clock … somewhere.
Yet that makes sense, as tweeters are either settling into the work week or are just about to start the weekend. Weekend tweeting is another animal as well.
Noon is another good time for retweeting—people are at lunch or are about to go. That’s true for people who go into an office and also those who work from home.
Plus there’s also the matter of accounts (often for job sites) that pump out a good dozen tweets, one right after another. These have little individual impact and seem only to be useful for later searching.
Timed tweeting seems almost counterintuitive. But for a business to use Twitter effectively, the tweets should be planned anyway. Why not plan not only their content but also their timing?
Scheduling Software
Here’s where services like Tweet Deck, Social Oomph (formerly Tweet Later) and HootSuite can provide some assistance. By scheduling the most important tweets for the very start and end (and middle) of each business day, you can add to their impact.
Separating out your tweets can also get them all out there while simultaneously preventing a flood of tweets which many users are generally just going to ignore.
Another positive upshot to spacing out your tweets is giving you content that can be used later. For Social Media platforms, it’s easy to initially attack them with an enormous amount of enthusiasm and then taper off or even fizzle out entirely.
If you regularly spit out twenty tweets per day, you’ll be tweeting 100 times during any given work week. Even your most dedicated followers are probably not going to read every single one. Plus, you’re setting yourself up for burnout.
Repeating tweets is pretty much a given, particularly when you consider how many touches people need before they buy just about anything. If someone missed your “Everything’s on sale!” tweet, then you want to catch them on the flip side, eh?
Time Zone Scheduling
So, instead, how about scheduling only two tweets per day (say, at 9:00 and 5:00 PM in the time zone where you have the greatest market share)? That way, you’ll have more people reading and no one will feel overwhelmed. Plus your 100 tweets will work for a little over a month or even two, if you are judicious and don’t tweet on the weekends.
So long as your tweets aren’t intimately tied to a specific time (e. g. announcements of an upcoming event), it shouldn’t matter. And, if they are, you might want to consider splitting them over several Twitter accounts. Perhaps open up one for just events in Seattle, for example.
Now, what about metrics?
URLs
Unfortunately, Twitter itself doesn’t do much, so you’ll mainly have to cobble things together yourself and use off-Twitter resources. One idea is to use a URL-shortening service that tracks basic metrics, such as Social Oomph or HootSuite. You may not get much more data from them than click count, but it’s still something. Hoot Suite provides .owly link metrics, with two free reports.
Another idea is to use a unique URL for the site URL in your profile, say, https://yoursite.com/twitter. If you’ve got Google Analytics set up, you can track when that page is used for landings to your site, and its bounce rate.
For commercial ventures, you might even make up a coupon code and tweet about it. Or use your Twitter landing page as a means of communicating certain special offers available only to Twitter users.
This is also useful for segmenting your audience when you want to send them email (with their double opt-in permission, of course!).
Follower/Following Ratio Metrics
Your number of followers, and the ratio of followers to who you follow, is all well and good, but it’s hard to say what you’re measuring. On Twitter, as on much of the web, popularity tends to breed even more popularity. And, it doesn’t really mean much if you have a number of purely spammy sites following you. They aren’t reading your tweets, anyway, so what’s the point?
This dilutes any idea of what these numbers might provide regarding influence, but if for some reason you really want to be followed by a bunch of spammers, just place the term weight loss into your profile and never block the spammers. In fact, follow them back, and you can get even more of them.
It hardly seems a worthwhile trophy to be followed by the biggest-ever village of spammers, eh?
And for God’s sake, don’t buy followers! That way lies madness. And it’s a fine ticket to being banned, or at least it used to be.
Some Metrics
Some sites, such as Audiense, show number of followers and their influence and activity. You can see which inactive people you follow (so you can drop them if you like), which famous people follow you, etc. Some of these are admittedly vanity metrics, but they are helpful.
Tweet Stats demonstrates, among other things, a graph of daily aggregate tweets. And it also contains your most popular hours to tweet and who you retweet. You’ll probably have to pay a different site for stats like exposure and reach. E. g. this means impressions and mentions of any topic, be it a word, a phrase, a user id or a hashtag.
In conclusion, keep up with Twitter, but don’t overwhelm your followers with floods of content. And measure your influence as well as you can, both using your own and external tools. If you can adjust your tweets to better serve your followers, your true influence will surely rise.
It can often be hard to start plotting. Yet start you must. Characters have got to do… something or other.
So, here are some ideas to get your characters and you moving.
Scenarios. Start there. So this is the small stuff, just one scene. Here are a few possibilities.
Meet cute in a coffee shop (or whatever the equivalent is in your universe).
Fight over the last piece of pie.
Announcing something startling (e.g. I’m gay! I’m not! Hey, I’m your dad! Soylent Green is people! ~ whatever floats your boat).
A hard decision has to be made regarding the future of an elderly or disabled family member (can also be a pet if you prefer).
A character is being pushed to go to fight in a war they do not believe in.
An academic or athletic competition is tainted by a cheating scandal.
Don’t like my scenes? So do something else. You won’t hurt my feelings.
Or something similar. So the idea here is, throw your characters into various situations. This also means you probably aren’t using all your characters in each of these situations. Maybe Aunt Mary and your biker chick character do best in the fight over the pie. Maybe your sailor character and the dentist character do best in the cheating scandal.
Plotting and Swapping and the Ole Switcheroo
Now swap characters. Move those chess pieces around. Why do your lawyer character and your dog trainer character work so poorly in the announcement scene? Why do your Italian designer character and your drum majorette character do so well in the war scene, but so poorly when they’re paired with anyone else?
Also—the weird variety is the point. You’re throwing Jell-O against the wall to start. So, what sticks? What flops?
You may find a scenario works better if you change something or other. So, maybe the hard decision is about a child. Maybe the competition is a bake-off. Whatever. You do you.
Start to Tie it Together
As you change and manipulate this stuff, and pull the characters’ puppet strings, start to think of how the stuff ties together. And also write the before and the after. Those scenes I reeled off, above? They’re not the first or the last one. They’re like Scene #14 out of 63 scenes. So, you’ve got room for the ramp-up and the denouement.
Wait, is This Plotting? Why Yes, It Is!
And hey, guess what? Every time you change up the situation, you are plotting. Every time you write the sequel and the prequel (or at least imagine them), you’re plotting. And every time you swap the characters, you’re also plotting.
Now it’s time to fit things in better. A medieval fantasy world won’t have coffee shops and maybe no one can meet cute. So now it’s a tavern, or a jousting tournament. Maybe pie doesn’t exist in your universe (quelle horreur!) and starving characters are fighting over a crust of bread. Or the war is a nuclear one, and no one wants to go who isn’t some out of touch general.
Again, you do you.
What’s Next?
And write this stuff down! At some point, when you start to see some winner ideas, think about what the connective tissue is between them. The war and the meeting cute could bookend a relationship. The pie and the cheating could be symptoms of narcissism.
So, once this starts to become second nature, you’ll have your own scenarios. And maybe you won’t need to try quite so many combinations.
As is true in many areas of life, practice makes perfect, or at least perfect-er.
Let’s Look at the Conquest of LinkedIn and its Last Little Bits
What sort of last little bits? Now, there’s more to LinkedIn than what I’ve already covered. And, truth be told, the number and diversity of add-ons and features is only going to keep growing. As with any other truly viable online business, LinkedIn keeps adding new bells and whistles, and constantly A/B testing. It is already a far different site from the one I joined a few years ago. And, by the way, I have never gone Premium. I think it’s a waste of money, particularly for job seekers who are often watching every dime.
However, there is an appreciable difference between making and keeping your page lively and interesting, versus making it too busy. I don’t think that you need everything. Really. I think a bit of restraint is in order.
Connections List
Your connections list is not as granular as it once was, possibly a function of LinkedIn getting larger. After all, by 2025, LinkedIn is projected to have over a billion users. Hence the demands of data, and server speed and size, mean that they aren’t going to give you as many opportunities to add metadata about your connections.
Instead, the site offers groups. Create a group, and invite likely people to join it. Your High School’s graduating class, or your sorority chapter might be good choices, as your High School is probably already represented and your sorority might be as well. But these groups provide more specificity. Of course, not everyone you invite will join one of these groups, but it’s worth a shot. Still, LinkedIn is no longer trying to be like a CRM system. That’s, I feel, for the better, as it gives the site more focus as a networking platform.
Events
Another tool that is gone is events. A pity, in some ways. But again, the site is looking to focus itself better. That includes eliminating some of the fat.
Following a Company
LinkedIn provides the ability to follow a company. If you are in charge of your company’s LinkedIn profile, you can help to stimulate this information stream by listing comings and goings, promotions and transfers. Got an event going on, with an interesting or attractive look to it? Take a picture and post it!
Profile Page Shortcut
The shortcut to your profile page is an easy way to make yourself stand out a bit more. Just select a reasonable shortcut for yourself. Mine is my last name, because it’s unique.
Last Little Bits on Your Profile Photograph
The last, and perhaps most important bit is your profile picture. To add, or not to add? I say, add it. It’s not like you’re going to hide your race, your age, or your gender if you meet someone. So you may as well come forward so that, if you meet in person, they can recognize you. Use a recent, clear headshot, and for God’s sake, smile! Look professional and approachable, and try to keep it current. That reminds me; I should probably update mine.
Last Little Bits and Some Takeaways
There will undoubtedly be more changes and last little bits as LinkedIn dreams up new ways to connect business persons. Perhaps virtual reality is in its future. Stay tuned – I may blog more about LinkedIn and its last little bits as it continues to reinvent and improve itself.
LinkedIn is constantly changing. These might end up not being the last little bits after all.
Much like a fan fiction novel called Reversal, it begins with a dream. And that makes perfect sense, as a dream inspired it.
And the dream, originally, was of seeing scenery change before my eyes (I have had this same dream before, and have written about it before, yet in different ways every time).
Yes, I am well aware that this is a cliché.
Plot
As Tathrelle begins the part of her life related by the story, the reader sees flashbacks of what seems like a dream and then seems like an earlier existence. However, the older life gets cut short in favor of the new.
Tathrelle’s waking life, instead, centers around her wife Ixalla, and the children they are about to have. Past is prologue.
The Cabossians, a species made up by me, can have children in any combination, so long as both parties are fertile. Hence both mpreg and all varieties of marriage (same- and mixed-sex) figure in the plot.
Furthermore, Tathrelle’s new job drives a lot of the action, as she has won an election and represents the people in what obviously starts off as a military dictatorship. Also, in the background, a disembodied voice tells the people what to do.
The first statements come out more as helpful hints and requests, such as to thank the public transportation driver or set the thermostat to a particular setting.
The main characters are Tathrelle, Ixalla, Velexio, Adger, and Students Number Five and Seventeen, along with a character just referred to as the unknown girl. The scene is solely on the planet Caboss, in the Central City.
One thing that surprised me as I wrote is that the main character, Tathrelle, did not turn out to be my favorite. Instead, that honor belongs to Ixalla. Ixalla was originally not much more than an expository mouthpiece. She really took flight when she became a revolutionary.
Memorable Quote
Ixalla yelled to them all, “This is the very last vestige of your privacy, and it is going up in smoke! You are all voluntarily giving it up! And for what? Is it for some vague notion of security? For the new requirement that anyone who is fertile is not just privileged, but that they are – we are – somehow, now, required to prove our fecundity? What will we have to prove next?”
Music
The inspirational song for this book is Bastille’s Pompeii. Years later, and I am still incapable of hearing the song without thinking of the book, and vice versa.
Story Postings
Unlike any other works in this blog (as of now), this story is for sale. It is not truly ‘posted’ anywhere. Even on the NaNoWriMo site, all you can find is a very short snippet.
Rating for Untrustworthy
The story is Rated T.
Untrustworthy Takeaways
Without giving away more of the plot, I think the story is okay but the truth is, I have written better since then. However, it is a great first effort for publication. Furthermore, I feel it works in some ways to get me into the publishing game, but then what?
I feel the book had pretty good promotions but not great promotions. I know it has more reviews than a lot of other indie works, but not as many as others. Sales come few and far between.
Can Untrustworthy serve as an entrée for diverse works such as the space opera of The Enigman Cave, the science fiction detective stories in The Obolonk Murders and its successor series, the Victorian urban fantasy of The Real Hub of the Universe and its two sequels, or the odd science fiction dystopia of Mettle?
Stay tuned, and thank you, as always, for your kind and unwavering support.
Untrustworthy has been good to me. But it’s tough to make it a hashtag! #amreviewing
Consider Marnie Shapiro, One of My Original Characters
Who is Marnie Shapiro?
The main character of The Enigman Cave went through a lot of changes. But that makes sense, as the story itself has been through a number of alterations as well.
I originally conceived of Marnie as being a person who was kind of in the midst of a crisis. She was to be getting a divorce while on a deep space mission. And that’s an idea I may very well work with at some later date. I think it’s kinda cool. And there is no question in mind that this would be a story worth exploring. Yet I didn’t write it. I did kind of mean to, though.
But then things got … a little different.
Where Did Marnie Shapiro Come From?
First of all, I was at first going to name this character Marnie Chase. But then she just plain didn’t “feel” like a Chase. I don’t know. But no matter how I felt, it didn’t seem suitable for the character. And so her name was changed.
This was to be my NaNoWriMo story for 2015, and I had to change the name of the main character? As it happened, I ended up changing Josie James’s name as well. Sometimes, you don’t get it right the first time.
And … the character won’t come alive until you do. It’s as if they’re standing there, hands on hips, shaking their head—sheesh, she still can’t get this stuff right?
So, she’s Marnie Chase Shapiro, I suppose.
The Past is Prologue — Backstory for Marnie Shapiro
Marne’s past is told in a few little dribs and drabs in the manuscript. Her marriage to Dr. Ben Chase (he’s a botanist)? As I wrote in the book (chapter 4—and it’s so much exposition that I will likely have to edit out a good chunk of it, anyway):
They had met years before, as young adults, and had fallen in love, kind of, even though they were both emotionally unavailable. It was a marriage of intellectual equals who sparred as much as they had sex and generally admired each other’s brains more than other body parts. Even Marnie’s own brother had said they seemed to be the kind of couple that coexisted, parallel lines never truly intersecting.
But there’s more. As essentially a power couple, the brass want both of them for deep space missions. If not for Ben, it’s possible Marnie would not have been brought in. The brass wanted the people going into space to be young, attractive, athletic, and personable. Marnie’s far from young or athletic. And she doesn’t suffer fools gladly. So, in a lot of ways she owes Ben her position. But he’s still a jackass to her.
Deep Space Training School
Marnie attends Deep Space Training School, along with a number of captain and first officer candidates. This includes the woman who becomes her first officer, Trixie LaRue.
There was one person in their class getting straight A’s—and since they only saw posted grades with no names, there’s no way to know who it was. But at graduation, the powers that be reveal everyone in grade order, starting with the bottom of the class.
Trixie herself ends up in the top ten, but she’s commissioned as a first officer, due to personality issues. The last two people called are Bill Levinson and Marnie. And, the valedictorian position goes to Marnie, who must deliver a speech with no preparation whatsoever. It’s a bit of passive-aggressive nastiness from the powers that be.
It’s evident that, deep down, they just plain don’t like her.
This is a taste, for Marnie, of things to come.
Description
Marnie is in her fifties, a bottle blonde who’s holding onto a few extra pounds. Her poor diet and exercise regimen, plus stress, have caused her meniscus (that’s cartilage in the knee) to fail. She is, as people used to say, A Woman of a Certain Age.
I go back and forth for an actress approximation of her. Maybe Elisabeth Shue?
But the most important thing about her is that she’s really in her fifties and she really looks and talks and acts that way. So, I can’t see her in the guise of a somewhat younger actress with aging makeup. Nope. I want the real thing.
After all, that’s exactly what Marnie would want, too.
Purpose/Theme/Motivation
Marnie’s main motivator is a desire for justice. For someone unfairly overlooked and underestimated, the concept of wanting to protect the weak and keep the crew from harm feels like a natural internal motivator. Also—at the time—I had a meniscus tear, and I hobbled around a lot like Marnie does. So, we have that in common.
In fact, a lot of my main characters have gotten whatever ailment I had at the moment. Marnie, if she were real, would be happy that she’s not Josie.
Quotes
While trying to prove Enigman intelligence, the hearing is also an occasion to get a covert message back to Earth. Here’s part of it.
“Carter is threatening all of us. We don’t even know if what he’s saying is true. But if those detention camps exist, then I implore you, I beg of you, I hope you will do the right thing. Find those places. Please. We are years away from Earth, even at top speed. Please, please find those places, and tear down their gates, and free those people. I know you can do it. Please don’t be afraid of Carter. These things happen because good people like you are afraid to stand up for what’s right. But I know you; you’re good and brave people. You won’t let him push anyone around.”
Relationships
Like many characters, one way to get insight into Marnie is to inspect her relationships with the other characters.
Marnie and Ben
Marnie has to deal with her ex-husband, Ben, because he runs the Botany Department, and he reports directly to her. Ben annoys Marnie incessantly, in particular insisting on referring to her by her full name, Mariana. But that’s all a part of how such a narcissist would hold her at arm’s length.
Still, they have to deal with each other. But for the most part, they stay out of each others’ hair. Much more problematic for Marnie is that Ben is engaged to Nurse Kristen Watson, a woman he cheated on Marnie with, while they were all in the middle of the mission. Kristen is young, pretty, and bubbly. Little Miss Sunshine is everything Marnie is not.
Marnie and Trixie and Jazminder
One fantastic (if I do say so myself) part of The Enigman Cave is the female friendships. The book passes the Bechdel test, and blows it away, in the first chapter alone. The three women at the heart of the story and their ship, the Valentina Tereshkova, are almost Kirk, Bones, and Spock. Except the doctor (Jazminder) is a bit more like Spock. But no matter.
Trixie and Marnie meet in Deep Space Training school, where they give Marnie’s roommate, Missy Mahoney, a hard time. This includes juvenile pranks like short sheeting her bed. When it comes time to tell the powers that be who they want to work with, they both pick only one person—each other.
Jazzie comes in later. Of course, any spaceship will have to have a doctor. From a posh suburb of Hyderabad, educated in England, Jazzie has an accent plummier than a Christmas pudding. She’s also a lesbian, and she drinks.
But in the first chapter, one of the first scenes is of the three of them getting drunk in Marnie’s quarters. They laugh, they joke, they get serious, and they behave exactly like three old friends should act.
Marnie and Lex
As the assistant veterinarian on board, Lex isn’t exactly at the top of the heap. But this is helpful, because he doesn’t report directly to Marnie. Hence, their relationship can go ahead. Unlike with Ben, Marnie can open up to Lex, and he will listen to her without judgment. Their fellowship is the kind of friendship/love affair that has every indication of going the distance.
He’s also 25 years younger than her—and good-looking.
Is he wish-fulfillment for me? Not really; I’m happily married and all. But I do love the idea of the semi-ugly duckling (as it were) getting the swan. Fortunately for Marnie, Lex is not just a pretty face. He is truly devoted to her, and he’s kind.
Conflict and Turning Point
Without giving away too many spoilers, Marnie’s conflict is the story’s—when the crew finds the first sapient life outside of Earth, it’s a cause for celebration. But that quickly devolves into worry, as the government at home collapses into a dictatorship.
The first of two shining moments for Marnie is the scene above, where she devises a way to do an end-run around the nasty commands they’re getting from the new dictator, Monroe Carter, who fancies himself a latter day Cortez.
And the other shining moment is first contact. An exciting plot point for pretty much any space opera, Marnie’s solution for how to talk to the life form they’ve found is to do something extremely female. And it is an utterly maternal thing to do, even though Marnie doesn’t have children.
It’s not treaties or speeches, and it’s certainly not a show of arms and force. Rather, it is completely, 100% peaceful in intent and act.
Marnie’s solution is to sit down and tell them a story.
Continuity/Easter Eggs
Like other characters named Shapiro, Marnie is a callback across universes. Her middle name, Robin, even ties in with Robin McKenna, a pivotal character in the Time Addicts series. Marnie is also a Bostonian, although I don’t outline that well enough.
Future Plans for Marnie Shapiro
The end of the story allows for the possibility of a sequel, if there’s interest.
I am also planning on writing a prequel, which will most likely cover Marnie and Trixie at Deep Space Training School. That will be as a part of NaNoWriMo in either 2023 or 2024.
Marnie Shapiro: Takeaways
For a person who many would overlook, Marnie is the heroine of her own story. Her imperfections and quirks add interest, and she is the kind of character who can believably make a speech like the quote above.
Bet on Marnie.
Never bet against Marnie Shapiro — a character who exceeds expectations.
Want More of Marnie Shapiro and the Rest of The Enigman Cave?
If The Enigman Cave resonates with you, then check out my other articles about how our society handles first contact with a species that may be as primitive as Australopithecus.
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