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Category: Writing

If you’re not into any kind of writing, then this is highly likely to not be the blog for you.

Ya think???

How and Why Does Writing Speak to Us?

The written word is something that we have in common with the ancient Egyptians, with people on the other side of the planet, and with celebrities who we will never meet.

Fiction writing, in particular, bridges gaps in the world, and through time. Have you ever read something written by an author who is long dead?

Whether it’s Jane Eyre or The Art of War, we can hear the author’s voice as we read (and yes, I am well aware that The Art of War isn’t fiction. I’m kind of tired, okay?).

But I digress.

Independent Writers Do It All

When we do it well, and we do it right, the indie author wears many hats. Researcher. Editor. Planner. Marketer. Cover artist (or at least hirer of the cover artist). Bookkeeper. Advertiser. Tax Preparer.

Indy writing is a small business. So, like it or not, you’ve got to know these things, or be able to hire someone who does.

Past, Present, and Future Authoring

One of the best things about authoring is the concept of eternity. Now, I don’t honestly expect anything I write to end up being studied in college or becoming movie fodder. But it is still  there, and it can be there forever if you can (and are willing to) preserve it.

This is why I encourage publishing, by the way, even if you never make a dime.

Eternity.

Writing Exposition

Exposition Should Be Your Superpower

This is because exposition works.

First of all, exposition basically means a literary device intended to describe a character’s background, or “our story so far”. It can be done elegantly, with flashbacks or dialogue or even a character finding something or other.

It can be clunky, like when characters say, “As you know, …” and then proceed to clue in the reader but then tell the other characters everything they should, logically, already know. For example, one doctor telling another one how chemotherapy works would denote really clunky exposition.

Clunkiness was rather memorably skewered by the Basil Exposition character in Austin Powers, International Man of Mystery. However, you and I don’t want that to happen with our works. So we’ve got to try to be a lot more eloquent. Hence we’ve got to figure out how to clue in our readers in a more natural fashion. So consider your setting.

Using Settings for Exposition

What do I mean by this? Your story’s circumstances and your characters’ specifics might be places to sneak in some background. Are they spies? Spies get briefings. Are they museum goers? Museums have docents (specialized guides) and tours, and they also have guidebooks and even identification for paintings or artifacts. Hikers use trails. Motorists use maps (or GPS, if the time period is right).

There is nothing wrong with a character reading a street sign, either out loud or to themselves.

Here Now the News

Love or hate it, but a character reading a newspaper or listening to radio news or watching it on television can provide a level of exposition to your story which can be seamless and even elegant.

Chapter Titles

When your chapter title is Sunday, August 6, 2017, 11 AM, San Francisco Chinatown, you get across a ton of information in a very short space. And you do so without interrupting the flow of the story unnecessarily.

Character Names and Occupations

These are more subtle, but if your characters have names like Maria, Vito, Anna, Guido, and Antonio, your reader will think Italy or at least an Italian family. If your characters have occupations such as blacksmith, miller, alchemist, and barber surgeon, your reader will think of medieval times.

The New Guy

There is a damned fine reason why a lot of television pilots involve someone coming to a new city or starting a new job. This is because explaining the story and the plot and characters to the new kid in town is perfectly natural.

“Excuse me, but where’s the spaceship parking bay?”

“Oh, it’s next to the mess hall. I’m Dave; I do the regular run to Venus every Thursday.”

It’s natural, it flows, and it doesn’t bog down the story.

Interweaving Exposition

Yet another method is to weave the exposition into the story or the dialog.

“You have great eyes. I love that color blue.”

“My mom always said they looked like the ocean. But I grew up in Kansas and I confess I didn’t see the ocean until I was thirty.”

Or

“You look like hell.” She nodded toward the wound on his arm.

“Oh, you should see the other guy.”

Get it?

Exposition, Scenes, and Character Descriptions

While not 100% the same as character descriptions, your standard bit of exposition is really just another flavor of describing … something. And while it’s a problem if the only time you describe people is when they aren’t white, it’s less of an issue when you don’t go into detail about something we should already know.

A modern day city is likely to have streets with traffic, perhaps outdoor vendors, maybe office buildings, and definitely crowds of people. Mainly, you may need to separate Philadelphia from Mumbai, or the like. For God’s sake, read some maps (and make sure they are for the correct year!) before describing a city you don’t know.

Hell, do that even for a city that you do know. And let me make one thing perfectly clear. Try not to turn it into a travelogue. I can practically guarantee to you that, unless they work there or are showing a tourist around, New Yorkers do not go waltzing into the Empire State Building all the time.

Takeaways

Exposition is truly vital in writing but you need to get it across without a dump of information. Read back your exposition. If it reads like a text book, or it goes on for too long, see about changing it but also about breaking it up. A bit of exposition here and there, even if it’s the same amount as in your big info dump, will stick out a lot less.

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Can a Character Questionnaire Help Inspire You?

What is a Character Questionnaire, and Why Might You Want One?

At its essence, a character questionnaire is a set of questions about a character. Seems obvious, right? Master Class has a good one.

A character questionnaire is not strictly necessary when putting together characters. But it can be very helpful. This is particularly the case if you are early in the process and still getting to know a character.

Some questionnaires seem to be overly complex. Or the questions address one area of a character’s personality in depth but not others.

Hence you will want to add some depth but probably some randomness as well. So, let’s look at the whole thing in pieces.

Here are some questions which might help.

Background

Of course you want to know some basics about the character. What is their name, and how old are they during the story? Gender is often important. But sexuality may or may not be. Educational level is probably also something you want to know.

• Name
† Date of birth
• Gender assigned at birth/current gender if different
† Sexuality
• Height (consider if you need English or metric measurements for this and weight)
† Weight
• Educational level
† Siblings, if any
• Place in the birth order (if applicable)
† Whether parents or other close relatives are still alive
• Socio-economic background

Details for Your Own Personal Character Questionnaire

There’s more to a name than just … the name. Was your character named after someone? Are they a junior, a senior, a seventeenth? Are they, perhaps, named for someone in popular culture (either a fictional character or an actor)?

Beyond going into horoscopes, a date of birth can inform a few things, not just whether someone is the eldest in a group.

After all, if like me your character was born in early September, then if they’re in the modern world, school probably started right about the time of their birthdays.

Gender, gender roles, and gender changes all matter. If a person has body dimorphism, that is far different from if they just don’t like being (for example) female and upset that society keeps them from making more money.

Height is more than just a yardstick. It’s also whether your character can reach stuff on high shelves or needs to duck through doorways. It’s whether they work as a jockey or gymnast or ballerina, or they end up pitching in baseball games or on the basketball team.

And height can often play a role in job opportunities, leadership roles, and relationships.

Weight? These days, you can be rather quickly and unfairly judged about your weight. People will also often judge a person’s class, educational background, and income based on their weight. Is it fair? Of course not. But it’s realistic and it should find a place in your writing.

More Details

Educational level will inform how a character speaks, and perhaps also what you have them read, assuming they’re literate, that is. Are they quick on the uptake? Do they solve the puzzle first—or should they?

Siblings and place in birth order can give you an idea of whether a character feels overly responsible, or seems horribly spoiled, or doesn’t feel like they belong anywhere.

Parents—living or dead—will loom large. Is your character estranged from their parents? Orphaned? Is Mom or Dad in jail? Did the character kill one of them? Was one of them deadbeat, never known by your character? Or is your character adopted?

Socio-economic background can inform your character’s opportunities in life. It can also define if their growth was stunted, if they hoard food, or if they waste money and are used to servants catering to their every whim.

Relationship Queries

Even if a piece is not a romance, understanding a character’s relationship history can prove fruitful. Here are a few details to consider.

† First serious relationship
• Also, consider the first serious relationship after coming out, if applicable
† Marital status
• Have they ever been in love?
† Are they ace/aero (asexual or aromantic)?
• Do they let anyone get close to them?
† Do they have any kinks?

Details

Beyond the parental and sibling relationships listed above, how does your character relate to anyone they’re interested in romantically? How serious did they get, and how soon? Are they a virgin? If not, when did they lose their virginity? Are they happy with that?

Is their sexuality set or fluid? Or is it repressed or so closeted that they don’t even realize they’re closeted?

Have they ever been married? Divorced, separated, or widowed? If so, what was the wedding like? Was the marriage happy? Functional? Abusive?

Have they ever loved anyone? Was it romantic? Chaste? From afar? Unrequited? Or was it some borderline stalking?

Has anyone ever gotten close to them? Also, are they vanilla, or are they in a dom/sub situation, or something else?

Work and School

Again, even if you never show work or education, it will help to inform the piece. So, consider details such as the following:

• Highest level of education attained
† Age when classes ended (that is, were they a dropout, or did they graduate?)
• Current employment
† Industry
• Basic tasks/duties
† If a supervisor/manager, number of direct and indirect reports

Details for This Part of Your Character Questionnaire

So, can you call your character doctor or professor? Or are they even literate? Did they drop out to help the family or because they were failing?

Where do they work, or are they unemployed? If they’re currently not working, are they trying to get a job, or not? Also, do they even need to work? Are they perhaps an unpaid caregiver of some sort?

If they work outside the home (so, keep in mind that this is not necessarily literally for work from home and hybrid jobs), what’s the industry? Is it creative? Caregiving? Scientific? Something in business? Do they work with their hands?

When the working day ends, how tired are they? Are they injured? Or are they so stressed out they can barely see straight? How does the commute (if any) treat them?

Can anyone call your character boss? Also, what kind of a boss are they? Do they rule with an iron fist, or are they empathetic? Sexist? Absent? Strictly by the book? Someone with a huge HR file on them?

Favorites

So, after you’re about the age of eight or so, people stop asking you what your favorite dinosaur is. It’s as if they don’t even care! But you can always ask your characters!

Their faves can also include:

• Person
† Food
• Place
† Workout or place to walk
• Season
† Subject in school

And so on and on. Musicians can have a favorite guitar or glockenspiel. Carpenters can have a preferred hammer. The sky is literally the limit here.

Personality

Rather than listing various personality traits, it makes more sense to instead ask questions. Pretend as if you’re interviewing your character for some reason or another. Maybe it’s for a newspaper article, or a job. Whatever the pretense is, ask about things like:

• So, are you a morning or an evening person?
† In a group, do you lead, follow, check out, or something else?
• If you found a wallet full of money in the street, what would you do?
† Do you believe in God? Also, do you follow any religion?
• Who has been the most influential person in your life so far?
† What’s the most daring thing you have ever done? And would you ever do it again?
• How’s your mental health?
† If you could meet anyone from history, living or dead, who would you like to meet, and why?

Takeaways

So the truth is, the more you treat your characters like people, the more your readers will see them as people. Adding depth will also help you write them, and know when you’re having them say or do something out of character.

If you don’t know your characters, who else could possibly know them? So, ask!

Oh, and another thing. This kind of a questionnaire can even help you with getting story ideas. No lie!


Click to buy Untrustworthy on Amazon

A character questionnaire can help. Just don’t treat it like gospel.

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How to Make Main Characters

Let’s look at how to create main characters.

Main Characters, the Lifeblood of any Story

Of course you have an MC, sometimes called a protagonist. Without one, then your book or short story is … what, exactly? A travelogue, perhaps. Or maybe it’s an instruction manual. Or maybe it’s just a mishmash. Because with no chief character, what are you doing, anyway?

Notice I Didn’t Say There Were No Characters

A bunch of characters can be lovely. But an utter lack of focus isn’t just odd. It’s also likely to be something that a reader would not like. The reader may be wondering—who is it I’m supposed to root for, anyway?

When that is not clear, it creates confusion. This kind of confusion gets readers to not finish. And it also gets publishers and agents to not want to pick it up. Therefore, you will need to create a focus and a point of view.

The Single Focus Character

In The Enigman Cave, Marnie Shapiro is such a singular focus that I felt I could not show anything ‘on screen’ unless she saw it. I even ended up tying myself in some knots to make certain that she “saw” something on the screen so I could include it.

But in The Real Hub of the Universe, while Ceilidh is the single focus character, I wasn’t as strict.

The Dual Mains

Or maybe I should refer to them as dueling mains? In the first Obolonk trilogy, Peri Martin is the main, but Tommy 2000 gives her something of a run for her money. We never really get inside Tommy’s head. But he’s there, in nearly every scene. He would have made for a fascinating POV character. But I preferred Peri, and I still do.

And unlike The Enigman Cave, there were a few moments where Peri is just not with it. Yet I still felt comfortable including it on screen.

Multiple Main Characters

Welcome to the Mettle Universe, where there are multiple points of view. The character who I showcase the most is Craig Firenze. He has the most chapters devoted to him—even though I had originally thought of Noah Braverman as the MC. But the characters, as they so often do, had other plans.

The easiest way to keep it all straight is what I did. That is, each chapter was for a different character’s point of view. For example, in more than one chapter, we’re inside Nell Murphy‘s head. And so, by definition, the italicized thoughts can only be hers. And, I don’t get into anyone else’s head. In order to be able to do that, the current chapter would have to end.

In some ways, a multitude of main characters meant that I needed to find a purpose for all of them. Therefore, for Mink’s only chapter, I get to tell what happened when she was separated from the rest of the group. It’s the only occasion that I had to convey that.

Getting into Olga Nicolaev’s point of view was also fun and key, because she goes through the story sounding like an illiterate most of the time. But the reality is, she’s rather sharp.

Perhaps the toughest POV to get into was Eleanor’s. I had to show not only her thoughts, but also how they jumbled and coalesced into, eventually, a form of coherence. This made her more of a main-ish character than she would have been. Otherwise, she’s just a burden on the group.

Main But Not Quite So Main After All

Within Mettle, the people with the most POV chapters are the true main characters. These are essentially Craig, Noah, Nell, Elise, and possibly Mei-Lin (she kind of straddles the line). But this group does not include Eleanor or Mink, as they each only have the one point of view chapter apiece. Dez and Olga kind of also straddle the line. And as for Kitty, she never gets a POV chapter.

Although I will most likely write one for her when I write the prequel for this one.

Hanging Back With Main Characters

How far into characters’ heads are you willing to go?

In Untrustworthy, I refer to Tathrelle and Ixalla’s thoughts, but I never actually show them on screen. Peri was originally like that, but I have decided I prefer being deeper in her head. Same with Josie. But with Marnie, I never get that far into her head. With Ceilidh, I do, but like with Peri it was because I changed my mind and opted for a more intimate relationship.

With the multiple POV characters of Mettle, I held back. But that’s also a choice for clarity’s sake. With so many people, getting into heads would mean that readers would not necessarily immediately realize whose head they were in.

Details and Whatnot

You do not have to go overboard with details. In fact, in the Twilight books, there’s a conscious effort not to overly describe Bella Swan. Why? Because that way, just about any girl can picture herself in Bella’s shoes. This was a big part of the success of that series.

Should you do that? Or should you describe every nuance of your main characters? There is more than one school of thought. What it all boils down to is—you do you.

But make sure that your descriptions and inner voices have a meaning and a purpose to the overall story line. Telling your readers that your MC has split ends is probably too much. Unless, of course, that turns into some sort of a plot point.

And for gosh sake’s, don’t just describe people of color. This gives forth an extremely strong impression that you feel your POC characters are different and, perhaps, do not quite belong. Keeping white as the default is not a good look, for either you or your characters, main or otherwise.

Anchor your prose with main characters who feel real to your readers.

And never forget to have fun with it!

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How to Make Characters (Side Characters)

Do You Want to Know How to Make Characters for Your Writing?

There are all sorts of ways to make characters. But no matter what, a character with more than a few lines (e. g. the barista at a coffee shop where our heroes go to decompress) need a reason for existing. For any character which isn’t a main one, the questions tend to be:

• How does this character relate to the main character?
† Do they showcase them, make them look better or worse?
• Help them grow?
† Kick off the action (inciting incident)?
• Amp up the conflict?
† Work to facilitate exposition?
• Enable the ending (including HEA if appropriate)?
† Love interest? Or the one that got away?
• Bring the story to its climax/crisis?

Characters which don’t do at least one of these things need to be changed, nixed, or combined.

In my 2016 NaNo, for example, Devon Grace and Alexander help drive plot and exposition and Devon in particular helps to facilitate the ending. Jake is the love interest; Frances Miller and Bessie both showcase the MC; Johnny kicks off the inciting incident, etc.

Make Characters Believable

But add in too many quirks, and characters just plain will not feel real. Instead, they will feel like a mishmash of characteristics and foibles.

Also, too many perfect bits threaten to convert any character into the dreaded Mary Sue. So does an author insertion. Although you’d be hard-pressed to find books where the author doesn’t get into it in some way.

Long as things are imperfect.

But!

The reverse is also true. That is, if you make characters with so many flaws and horrid tragic backstories that they are just like the biblical Job, then those, too, are a form of Mary Sue.

And don’t think for a minute that this is confined to just female characters and authors. There are a ton of Marty Stu characters out there as well.

Make Characters Better Than Mary Sue

Strive for a balance, if you can. Ask yourself: would this character be the kind of person I would just want to punch in the mouth for existing? If so, then you might have a Mary Sue on your hands.

I (for real) had a sorority sister who was kind of like this. Now, being unflappable is one thing. But this girl was cheerful and enthusiastic in the face of nearly anything. While, of course, the rest of us had problems and dreams and were imperfect.

So yes, Little Miss Perfect (or Mister Perfect) can absolutely exist in real life. But they are hardly the stuff of believable fiction. Even a character based on a real life Marty Stu should have some sort of flaw or issue. Or at least a comeuppance.

How Does the Character Relate to Your MC (Main Character)?

Let’s set aside how to make characters who are the focus for a moment. What are the sidekicks and side chicks like?

As I noted, they should have some sort of a point for the plot. But let’s distinguish a character with a purpose versus a fill-in character necessary but not important. Here’s an example.

In the second of the books in the first Obolonk trilogy (The Polymer Beat), and in the third (The Badge of Humanity), main character Peri Martin spends some time in the Washington Megalopolis on a few separate occasions.

In the second in particular, she hangs out with Greg Shapiro. Greg is a character who requires some depth. He serves a few purposes: expository mouthpiece and ending enabler.

But in the third book, Peri spends some time in a coffee shop. There is a barista there to take her order and make her coffee. But do we really care what the barista looks like? Not really. I think I just describe her as a young woman of Asian extraction. And that’s enough.

Unless I had made it a self-serve place, the coffeehouse needed a barista. But that person could be anyone.

What if You Create Characters That Deserve a Promotion?

Side characters can be fun to write. You can pour a lot into them, and the stakes feel lower. They feel like a place where a writer can experiment. But sometimes they are so vital that they steal the show.

What happens when you realize the side character really should be the main one?

In the novel Untrustworthy, that went down (a bit) in that side character Ixalla turned from an expository mouthpiece into a driver of the action and a facilitator of the ending. Frankly, I found I preferred writing her to Tathrelle, the actual main character.

Now, that book suffers from some head-hopping. I get the reader into Tathrelle’s head for the most part, but also into Ixalla’s at times.

For me, the trick was to keep the balance tilted a lot more heavily toward Tathrelle’s point of view. It was only when I could not use Tathrelle that Ixalla’s POV came front and center.

Another instance is Trinity Hawthorne in Time Addicts. Trini isn’t much of a side character. But I realized I wanted to write a prequel to serve the entire Obolonk universe. And so, I turned to Trini to run that particular show. She also fits in particularly well vis a vis the year.

Character Interactions and Intersections

When you use a method such as the snowflake novel writing method, the intersections of characters are at the forefront of creation. I have also found that it helps me to avoid creating a character who is unmoored from the MC.

Make your side characters work for you!


Click to buy Untrustworthy on Amazon

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Writing Progress Report – First Quarter 2023

Progress Report – First Quarter 2023

How was first quarter 2023 for writing? So, I spent the first quarter 2023 working on this blog and website. Then there was some editing as well. So there was that… But much like fourth quarter 2022, I focused on only a few things.

First Quarter 2023 Posted Works

First of all, I worked on a number of new short stories. A lot of these had been drafted on paper and so I spent some time fixing and polishing them.

This included 1960s Temporal Crimes.

Then on Wattpad I posted on the WattNaNo profile and the Star Trek Fans profile, and nowhere else.

Milestones

Also, I have written over 3.4 million words (fan fiction and wholly original fiction combined). So right now my stats on Wattpad for wholly original works are as follows:

• Dinosaurs – 42 reads, 11 comments
† How to NaNoWriMo – 26,027 reads, 340 comments
• My Favorite Things (like kibble) – 983 reads, 133 comments
Revved Up – 59,452 reads, 531 comments
• Side By Side – 20 reads, 2 comments
† Social Media Guide for Wattpad – 15,953 reads, 592 comments. This is under my actual name, Janet Gershen-Siegel.
• The Canadian Caper – 506 reads, 37 comments
The Dish – 250 reads, 24 comments
There is a Road – 189 reads, 28 comments
† WattNaNo’s Top Picks 2018 – 1,975 reads, 45 comments
• WattNaNo’s Top Picks 2019 – 1,848 reads, 10 comments
† What Now? – 2,812 reads, 104 comments

More Published Works as of First Quarter 2023

Also, I am amassing quite the collection of published works!

Untrustworthy, which is my first published novel. So yay!

A True Believer in Skepticism, published in Mythic Magazine.

Almost Shipwrecked, a story in the January 2019 edition of Empyreome, a site which unfortunately is no more.

Canaries, a short story in the March 29, 2019, edition of Theme of Absence.

Complications, a story in the Queer Sci Fi Discovery anthology. So this is an anthology where the proceeds went to supporting the QSF website.

Cynthia and Wilder Bloom, stories in the Longest Night Watch II anthology.

Props, a story in the Longest Night Watch I anthology. So this is an anthology where the proceeds go to Alzheimer’s research.

Surprises, a story in Book One of the 42 and Beyond Anthology set.

The Boy in the Band, a story in the Pride Park anthology. So this is an anthology where the proceeds go to the Trevor Project.

The Interview, the featured story in the December 14, 2018 edition of Theme of Absence. So they even interviewed me!

The Last Patient, a story in the Stardust, Always anthology. This was an anthology where the proceeds go to cancer research.

The Resurrection of Ditte, a story in the Unrealpolitik anthology.

This is My Child, a short story published in the April 8, 2019 edition of Asymmetry Fiction, another site which is no more.

Three Minutes Back in Time, a short story published in Mythic Magazine.

Killing Us Softly, a short story published in Corner Bar Magazine.

Darkness into Light, a short story published in Corner Bar Magazine.

WIP Corner

So my current WIPs are as follows:

The Obolonk Murders Trilogy – so this one is all about a tripartite society. But who’s killing the aliens?

The Enigman Cave – can we find life on another planet and not screw it up? You know, like we do everything else?

The Real Hub of the Universe Trilogy – so the aliens who live among us in the 1870s and 1880s are at war. But why is that?

Mettle – so it’s all about how society goes to hell in a hand basket when the metals of the periodic table start to disappear. But then what?

Time Addicts – No One is Safe – so this one is all about what happens in the future when time travel becomes possible via narcotic.

Time Addicts – Nothing is Permanent – this is the second in this trilogy. What happens when time is tampered with and manipulated in all sorts of ways? It’s the ultimate in gaslighting, for one thing.

Time Addicts – Everything is Up For Grabs – as the timelines smack together and continue to diverge, it gets harder to tell the “real” timeline from all the newer fake ones. And what if some of the changes are for the better?

Prep Work

So currently, my intention, for 2024’s NaNoWriMo, is to write the third trilogy in the Time Addicts/Obolonks universe. But I need to iron out the plot! So a lot of this year has been spent on that. I have no name for this one yet.

For 2023 NaNoWriMo, I have decided to create a prequel for two or three more of the five main universes: Obolonks (while the Obolonks and Time Addicts are in the same universe, I just plain want to write two separate prequels!), Untrustworthy, The Enigman Cave, and Mettle.

If 2023 NaNo goes like 2022 NaNo did, then whichever one I do first will end up sticking to the script and complete relatively early, and then the second one will … meander.

If I had to choose two which would fill the bill in that fashion, it would either be Untrustworthy + Obolonks or Mettle + Enigman Cave.

This is mainly because the first in each pairing are relatively well-defined, whereas the second of the pairings? Eh, not so much. But that could change.

So, I anticipate a lot of fun and perhaps a little confusion. But it’s all good! And if I play my cards right, I can do the final pairing in 2024 and put off prepare the third trilogy till 2025.

First Quarter 2023 Queries and Submissions

So here’s how that’s been going during first quarter 2023.

Reprint

Coming right out of the blue, Mythic Magazine wants to do a second Best of Mythic and chose A True Believer in Skepticism!!! Yay!!!!

In Progress

As of first quarter 2023, the following are still in the running for publishing:

This list is the name of the story and then the name of the potential publisher.

† I Used to Be Happy – Gemini Magazine
• Justice – Adbusters
† Mettle – RAB
• Soul Rentals ‘R’ Us – A Thousand One Stories
† Who Do We Blame for This? – Sonder Review

All Other Statuses

So be sure to see the Stats section for some details on any query statuses for first quarter 2023 which were not in progress.

Stats

So in 2018, my querying stats were:

† 68 submissions of 19 stories
• Acceptances: 4, 5.88%
† In Progress-Under Consideration: 3, 4.41% (so these never panned out)
• In Progress: 10, 14.71%
† Rejected-Personal: 14, 20.59%
• Rejected-Form: 24, 35.29%
† Ghosted: 13 (so these were submissions where I never found out what happened), 19.12%

So in 2019 my querying stats were:

• 23 submissions of 11 stories (so 6 submissions carry over from 2018)
† Acceptances: 4, 17.39%
• In Progress: 11 (so this includes 2 holdovers from 2018), 47.83%
† Rejected-Personal: 4, 17.39%
• Rejected-Form: 3, 13.04%
† Ghosted: 1 (so these are submissions where I never found out what happened), 4.35%

2020 Stats

So in 2020 my querying stats were:

• 37 submissions of 12 stories (so 9 submissions carried over from 2019)
† Acceptances: 3, 8.11%
• In Progress: 7, 18.92%
† Rejected-Personal: 12, 32.43%
• Rejected-Form: 4, 10.81%
† Ghosted: 11 (so these are submissions where I never found out what happened), 29.73%

2021 Stats

So in 2021 my querying stats were 5 submissions of 5 stories, 100% ghosted.

2022 Stats

So in 2022 my querying stats are:

† 6 submissions of 6 stories (so 5 submissions carry over from 2020 and 2021), plus 1 reprint!
• Acceptances (reprint; still waiting on it): 1,14.29%
† Rejected-Form: 1, 14.29%
• Ghosted: 5 (so these are submissions where I never found out what happened), 71.42%

2023 Stats

So in 2023 my querying stats are:

• 6+ submissions of 6+ stories (so 5 submissions carry over from 2022), plus 1 reprint!
† Acceptances: 2, 33.33%
• In Progress-Under Consideration: 4, 66.67%

It can be pretty discouraging and hard to go on when so little comes up which is positive. But I do need to work on promotions, too!

First Quarter 2023 – Productivity Killers

So it’s work, what else? I am working on a ton of things and since that is also writing, it can sometimes burn me out. Because First quarter 2023 will not be the end of that!

For more information, go to the Progress Reports hub.

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Self-Review – The Myth of The Last Try

A Review of – The Myth of The Last Try

I wrote The Myth of The Last Try as a part of writing every day in 2021. This little story hit me pretty hard, so I added a few short chapters to it.

As a result, it has more body and depth to it. Could I stretch it into a novella? Maybe? But the truth is, at a certain point, it becomes obvious stretching. And then a story like this will break.

And I don’t want that to happen to this one. I like it far too much!

Background

One of the best (I feel) parts of this little multi-part short story is that it takes place in a location I know well. But it’s not called The Last Try.

Rather, the inspiration is a little place right by where I went to college—The Dugout Café.

The Dugout is a tiny hole in the wall, rumored to have opened right after Prohibition ended. As in, the day of or the day after. Hence, the bar in the story got a rather similar back story.

Plot

Kel is just an old fellow nursing his beer at a dive bar when the bartender (his cousin Dean) tells him to lift a particular crate. Little does Kel know, but he has been chosen. The very act of lifting the crate changes everything.

The Last Try is a lot older than Kel ever knew. And Dean? He’s ancient, too. As in, record-breaking years alive.

Characters

The characters are Kel (Dan Kelly), Dean, Fred, and Olivia. Kel talks about Julie, his late wife. Dean mentions Silas, a prior owner of The Last Try. There’s a little bit about Kel’s mother and his late brother, Rob. And… that’s it.

Kel is just an old man, a regular at his cousin’s bar. His cousin Dean is even more ancient and frail, but still running the bar. Fred is Kel’s great-grandnephew, and Olivia is his new wife.

Every single one of these characters has a heavy Boston accent, although I hear Dean with a bit of a brogue.

Memorable Quotes {the first person talking is Dean}

Near the back window, there was a small door hidden by crates of supplies. “Can you get me one of those?”

Kel looked at the stack skeptically. At age 84, he wasn’t nearly as spry as he had been. “I’ll try. But you might want to get Fred or Olivia to do this.” He nodded in the direction of a great-grandnephew on his mom’s side, and the man’s new bride. Cute, if you liked scrawny. He bent over to pick up the crate.

“No, that one, over there.” Dean pointed to a truly old crate. It seemed to have been from the day Dean had opened the place. “See if you can lift it.”

“Deano, I can’t be throwing my back out, y’know. Seriously, Olivia may be a shrimp, but she’s got some moxie to her.”

“Hey, I heard that!”

“See?”

“Kel,” Dean said, looking at Kel with watery blue eyes, “that crate is for you only.”

Kel furrowed his brow, trying to figure out what the hell that meant. “Okay. But I blame you if I end up at Mass. General again.”

“Fair enough.”

Kel bent down again, squatting this time. “Lift with your knees, not with your back,” he whispered to himself.

“You say something there, Uncle Kel?” Fred hollered.

“No, no.” Kel picked up the crate and it was far lighter than he had been expecting.

The small door opened of its own accord, and Kel nearly dropped the crate on his foot as the scenery changed.

Continuity

Dean reveals that one of the previous incarnations of the bar was in Ballyvaughan, in Ireland—which is the birthplace of Ceilidh O’Malley. Peri Martin is a graduate of Boston University (as am I), the nearby university I reference in the story but never name.

Rating for The Myth of the Last Try

The story has a K rating.

Upshot for The Myth of the Last Try

When I was first writing this one, I was just kind of noodling around and had no plans for it. But once the small back door opens up, seemingly by itself, the story took shape.

Given the time frame and the location, there’s no reason why Kel can’t run into, say Noah Braverman and Elise Jeffries of Mettle, or even Peri Martin from The Obolonk Murders.

Kel could turn out to be a bridge character between two very separate universes. Hmmm.

I like to think there’s a little Last Try in every city. #amwriting


Want More Short Stories Like The Myth of the Last Try?

If The Myth of the Last Try resonates with you, then check out my other articles about Boston short stories and Boston characters.

Character Reviews:

Peri Martin
Nell Murphy
Josie James
Frances Miller Ashford
Marnie Shapiro
† Self-Review: The Boy in the Band

And for more short stories, be sure to check out a complete list of my shorter works, at Hub Page—Short Stories.

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Self-Review – Wilder Bloom

Review – Wilder Bloom

I wrote Wilder Bloom quickly as I was under a time crunch. I wrote this short story for the second volume of The Longest Night Watch. And all of the proceeds go to the Alzheimer’s Association.

So with the (at the time) very recent death of actor Gene Wilder to Alzheimer’s, the participants decided to honor his memory. So this was much as the original volume was to honor Sir Terry Pratchett.

The story is a simple one. Wilder – called by his real name, Jerome Silberman, cycles through his many roles as he loses his true sense of self. And so the reader, by definition, sees his roles as essential facets of his personality.

Wilder Bloom: Background

With Wilder’s death, it became imperative to me to commemorate him in some fashion. But how? And then it came to me.

Since I know Alzheimer’s often affects your short-term memory first, longer term memory would work for my purposes. But what would a long-term actor remember?

Their roles.

Plot

So much like in Props, Mr. Silberman is in a nursing home where he is slowly and not so slowly losing himself. But while in Props the main character plotted her escape, Silberman instead relives his biggest roles.

No longer able to distinguish fantasy from reality, he becomes his characters again.

And so, the story essentially turned into countless Easter eggs.

The following films get shout outs:

• Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
† The Producers
• Silver Streak
† Blazing Saddles
• Young Frankenstein

I went with these as they are, more or less, his best-known film roles. And I also decided on these because the characters are so indelible. I felt that they would resonate with Mr. Silberman and, by extension, with the reader.

Characters

The only character is an unnamed nurse who observes Mr. Silberman. Through her, the reader learns about Mr. Silberman (Wilder).

Memorable Quotes from Wilder Bloom

He said his second wife – perhaps she was his third – she was a comedienne who died young, of ovarian cancer. He did not speak about her much, but it was always with great affection.

Rating

This story has a K rating.

Upshot

The anthology is stalled in developmental hell. Sad, really.

A wilder Bloom there never was. #amwriting


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Character Review — Johnny Barnes

Consider Johnny Barnes, One of My Original Characters

Who is Johnny Barnes? What connection does he have to the Real Hub Universe?

Every story needs some sort of a villain. Johnny fills the bill a little too well.

Where Did Johnny Barnes Come From?

I wanted to create a character who would be hard to redeem. He would be uncultured, uncouth, and selfish. Complicating matters, he would be one of the sons of the richest man in Ballyvaughan.

The Past is Prologue — Backstory for Johnny Barnes

So, the first thing you need to know is that the Barnes family has five sons: Christopher, Paul, Alfred, Johnny, and Arthur.

Christopher, the heir, marries the respectable Harriet, who he meets in Scotland. They have a daughter, Darragh. Paul goes into the church, and is ordained earlier than he is supposed to be. But money talks, so no one questions that.

Alfred is one of Ryan O’Malley’s star pupils, the other being Ceilidh herself. Alfred is probably gay, and goes to the university at Galway. Arthur, something of a wastrel, ends up in the army. He even fights a native uprising in Malaya.

And then there’s Johnny.

He does not have the inheritance or the calling. And he’s not bright enough to rival Alfred. Not even close. And while he’s just as much of a ne’er do well as Arthur, he isn’t even perceptive enough to go into the military.

So, he drifts. Starting off in rough carpentry, Johnny has no talent for it. Jack (the patriarch) and Christopher eventually give Johnny his own patch of land to work. The bottom line is, he’s not much better in status than the cottiers in Ballyvaughan.

Description

Rough, dark, and unkempt, I think of Oliver Reed in the movie, Oliver! Reed was a difficult person all around, and died relatively young. He wasted his life and his talent.

So, in a lot of ways, he and Johnny are like two peas in a pod.

Purpose/Theme/Motivation

Because they have no other use for Johnny, and Mary O’Malley needs to stay in the village, Jack and Mary come up with a plan. They’ll marry Maeve to Johnny. So, this should have worked out. In particular, he and Maeve actually like each other.

But the reason it doesn’t at first is because of one person — Nora Barnes.

Dying of cancer, Nora wants another grandchild. Harriet is forbidden from having another child, due to her health. Although Ceilidh doesn’t necessarily believe this. But either way, Harriet and Christopher are out of the picture. The other sons are unavailable for some reason or another.

Maeve is still very young and scrawny and has not yet gone through menarche.

As a result, Jack, Mary, and Nora turn to Ceilidh. Why? Because they’re under a time crunch. Nora is not expected to live for very long.

Quotes (in the Prequel, Johnny and Ceilidh are Left Alone for the First Time)

Johnny got up and came closer. “Now, Ceilidh, ya can do this in a way that’s at least kinda pleasant—although I don’t think girls like this stuff much, not even Maeve—or it can be rough an’ unpleasant. So, ya should tell me, Ceilidh, what’s it gonna be?”

She bit her lower lip and stared at him, looking into his eyes, a dark brown that was almost black. I see naught but coldness and cruelty there. I don’t know what you see in Maeve, or she sees in you, but at least you’re suited for one another.

She shut her eyes for a second. I curse every day of hunger, every moment that made it harder for Maeve to get taller and stronger. She sniffled a little. I should have given her more of my portion. I should have worked harder. Ceilidh trembled. I should have sold the last of the books. I should have—

“Well?” Johnny came closer and breathed on her neck, making the hairs stand up. “Like I said, this could be kinda pleasant, at least for me. An’ if I like it, I’ll be more agreeable ta ya an’ your Mam an’ Maeve, too.” With a rough, paw-like hand, he clumsily caressed her cheek. “Harriet’s a good girl, come from a fine family. An’ ya’re not neither o’ those things. But dress ya up in good things, like silk an’ lace an’ all that, an ya could pretend ta be. No one would ever need ta know ya came from dirt.”
Click to buy Untrustworthy on Amazon

Relationships

Johnny is a brute at the best of times. His relationships often reflect this.

Maeve O’Malley

He has fun with Maeve, who is smitten with him. I have toyed with the idea of him being developmentally disabled. But I think Maeve (who is smarter than she behaves) would not be so taken with him if he was.

In the main books, he is abusive to her. But he is also a decent father, particularly for the time.

Ceilidh O’Malley

Scared of him and disgusted by him, Ceilidh is appalled when the topic of switching the bride is brought up. But in a small way, she can thank him, for he got her to leave Ballyvaughan.

Nora Barnes

Since Nora rules with an iron fist, Johnny is no exception. She disdains him and often treats him the same way she treats many of the cottiers — like something to wipe off her shoes.

Her only interest in him, at the end of her life, is as a means to an end. But that’s her interest in virtually everyone else as well.

Johnny and the Rest of the Barnes Family

Apart from his BFF Arthur, no one in the Barnes family is terribly impressed with Johnny. Harriet is clearly uncomfortable with him. Jack is disappointed. Christopher and Paul essentially order him around. But to be fair, they order just about everyone out.

Conflict and Turning Point

Johnny’s real turning point is twofold. One piece is the initial turning point where Ceilidh leaves Ballyvaughan—and him. He tells everyone in the village that she’s died, lost at sea. But she sends money, and he has no problem intercepting it or spending it.

His second turning point is when she returns to Ballyvaughan a few years later, with Jake Radford and Devon Grace. Her return makes his story of her death fall like a house of cards.

Much like money changes Ceilidh’s circumstances, it also changes his. But at least he can be honest about things.

Continuity/Easter Eggs

Johnny Barnes doesn’t really have any continuity, and there are no connections or Easter Eggs when it comes to him.

Future Plans

I have no real future plans for him. He’s an unpleasant character, meant for really just one purpose.

Johnny Barnes: Takeaways

Like Ceilidh’s hard early life, Johnny is a symbol of how harsh the world really was, particularly for poor women. As such, he has nearly nothing to recommend him. If he makes your skin crawl, then I’ve done my job right. So, yay?

Johnny Barnes is more than the reason why she leaves Ireland.


Want More of Johnny Barnes?

If Johnny resonates with you (or if he makes your skin crawl), then please be sure to check out my other blog posts about him, Ceilidh, Devon, Frances, Shannon, the very real historical Boston Brahmins, and everyone else as they work to prevent a temporally jacked-up genocide.

Character Reviews:

• Ceilidh O’Malley
Dr. Devon Grace
Frances Miller Ashford
Shannon Duffy

Self-Review: The Real Hub of the Universe
Self-Review: The Real Heart of the Universe
and Self-Review: The Real Hope of the Universe

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Character Review — Greg Shapiro

Consider Greg Shapiro, One of My Original Characters

So, who is Greg Shapiro?

I needed to have someone perform research for The Obolonk Murders. Once I started to create him, Greg turned into, essentially, Peri’s work BFF.

Where Did Greg Shapiro Come From?

The concept of a “work husband” is nothing new, although the terminology may be. Greg is quite easily, Peri Martin’s work pal, her lunch buddy, and all that. And until Tommy comes around, he is one of the only people who she will ever confide in.

The Past is Prologue — Backstory for Greg Shapiro

Kinda short and losing his hair, Greg is just a regular guy from what used to be called Hamden, Connecticut. He’s unassuming and self-deprecating to a fault.

Description

I am a bit conflicted about his look. He could be a bit taller and darker, like the late Bruno Kirby. Or a bit fairer, like Jason Isaacs.

I prefer to “cast” Jewish characters with Jewish actors whenever I can. But I do have to admit that it was Kirby I was originally thinking of when I started writing the character.

Purpose/Theme/Motivation

Unlike cops you would normally see in a film or on TV, Greg isn’t much for guns and chases. Rather, he’s a researcher. For all the clichés about someone not wanting to be a pencil pusher, that would likely be his dream job.

Quotes (Greg and Peri are discussing Selkhet 3000 and Dr. Tinerrian)

“Martin, haven’t you ever liked anyone who didn’t like you back?” She nodded, so he added, “Or get this: haven’t you ever loved someone who did not love you back?”

Peri was silent as she tried to figure out how to answer him. Her eyes were filling up, fast, and then they were brimming and threatening to spill over, a situation as precarious as the stacks of books on the library’s sole table. Her lower jaw trembled a bit, too. She swallowed a few times, in an effort to keep her response an even one. But her voice cracked. “I, well, yeah.”

“Oh, damn, I’m sorry. I put my big foot in it this time, eh? It was Hollis, right?”

“Yeah,” she managed to squeak out.

“Well, he was a total mook and a jerk and all of that, anything you want to call him, for being that way. You are rough around the edges and no one’s ever going to invite you to a ball at the Junior League on Dione. But my considered opinion, Detective Sergeant Peri Martin, is that you did not deserve to be treated that way. You did not deserve to be made to feel like this. I am not saying that you shouldn’t feel bad about Hollis being hit by a hot gun. The illegal ones are particularly nasty—you know this. And I understand that losing a partner is just a terrible thing for any cop to have to go through. And please don’t think I’m hitting on you when I say this.”

She smiled wryly, a lone, low chuckle escaping from her mouth. “I’m not a redhead.”

Relationships

Greg’s already been married a few times. He even admits to having hit on Peri when he was newly single.  But they are more pals than anything else. If anyone, he’s got an interest in Akanksha Kondapalli. But Akanksha is probably a bit young for him.

I don’t have an actual birth date for him, but Peri is 50 when the series starts. Greg is probably a year or two older or younger than she is.

Their friendship is truly Greg’s biggest relationship in the series. They joke and laugh and make fun of each other pretty much constantly.

Conflict and Turning Point

Greg has a few turning points within the overall story arc. He experiences a part of the first crisis in the first book, but it’s from a distance. And aside from presumably hearing about it, he doesn’t experience the second crisis at all.

Probably the time when he really gets to shine is at the end when he and Peri bring in a confederate—someone who they did not initially suspect was a perpetrator.

Greg Shapiro and His Continuity/Easter Eggs

Like every other Shapiro character I have ever written (Marnie Shapiro Chase, Eleanor, etc.), Greg joins a proud Easter Egg/Afikomen tradition in my writing.

Future Plans

He’s definitely going to show up in the Obolonk prequel! But after that, I confess I am not so sure.

Greg Shapiro: Takeaways

Once I got him going in The Polymer Beat, he was a joy to write. He and Peri come across, at times, like Tracy and Hepburn or, more likely, like Nichols and May. I really should find something else for that mook to do!

Greg Shapiro — because there will still be work spouses in the future!


Click to buy Untrustworthy on Amazon

Want More of Gregory Shapiro and the Rest of the Obolonk Universe?

If the story of the Obolonks resonates with you, then please be sure to check out my other blog posts about how our society turns tripartite, with humans, robots, and Obolonks.

Character Reviews: The Obolonk Murders

Humans
Rachel Gifford
Peri Martin

Robots
Tommy 2000
Selkhet 3000

Obolonks
The Obolonk leader, TSTITO
• Sally Bowles

The Obolonk Universe

Self-Reviews: Obolonk Trilogy

• The Obolonk Murders (link is below)
Self-Review: The Polymer Beat
The Badge of Humanity

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Self-Review – A Kitten

Review – A Kitten

I like A Kitten, and I think it’s one of the cuter short stories I have ever written. At some point, I would love for it to have a home… somewhere. But I imagine it may not. So, it is entirely possible it will become a free giveaway.

Background

I wanted to write something which would be sweet and very all-ages friendly. But because of the kind of writer I am, I could not resist a little surprise…

Plot

This story has very little plot. Rather, its charm and its uniqueness come from the twist ending.

But the story is, essentially, that Suzy will be turning six years old very soon. So, the entire plot essentially revolves around deciding whether it is such a good idea. And, when it is decided that it is a good idea, getting Suzy her heart’s desire.

It is a gentle story, and the surprise is nothing in the vein of jump scares in the dark, or anything.

Characters

The characters are Suzy, and her two friends who she associates with. Oh, and there’s also Smoke.

One thing a reader who is paying attention may realize is… something is odd here. Who are these people? Why are they in charge of whether Suzy can get such a gift? They are clearly not her parents. So, how do they fit in with her? Why are they even necessary in her life at all?

Also, everyone uses American Sign Language. There is only one scene where people are actually speaking out loud to each other.

Memorable Quotes from A Kitten

We entered Suzy’s room and she came over. Ever the gracious hostess, she signed, “It is good to see you, Scott. Do you want a cup of water? Do you?” she turned to me.

“I’m good.” Scott asked, “Suzy, do you know how to take care of a kitten?”

“I think so,” Suzy replied after a while. “You feed and give water and play and they get a comfy place to sleep.”

“There’s a litter box, too,” I explained. “A kitten will need a place to poop.”

“I understand,” Suzy replied.

“That’s very good,” Scott praised. “Do you think you could be responsible enough to care for a kitten?”

“Oh yes! Oh yes!” Suzy got excited and started jumping a little.

“Do you understand, Suzy,” I pointed out, “that a kitten will grow up to be a cat? And that a cat might not want to play as much?”

“I understand,” Suzy replied. “I will be sure to remember and be careful. And I will love a kitten just as much when it grows up to be a cat. I promise!” To emphasize her point, she crossed her heart.

“We will think about it,” I stated cautiously.

Rating

The story has a K rating.
Click to buy Untrustworthy on Amazon

A Kitten – Takeaways

Suzy is one of those characters that I have no future plans for. But I sometimes think I would like to.

After all, how does she get along with Smoke? Does it all work out? So, in all honesty, I do not truly know.

Doesn’t every vaguely described child want a kitten? #amwriting”


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