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Month: March 2023

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Writing Progress Report – First Quarter 2023

Published by Janet Gershen-Siegel on March 30, 2023

Progress Report – First Quarter 2023

How was first quarter 2023 for writing? So I spent first quarter 2023 working on this blog and website. Then there was some editing as well. So there was that… But much like fourth quarter 2022, I focused on only a few things.

First Quarter 2023 Posted Works

First of all, I worked on a number of new short stories. A lot of these had been drafted on paper and so I spent some time fixing and polishing them.

Then on Wattpad I posted on the WattNaNo profile and the Star Trek Fans profile, and nowhere else.

Milestones

Also, I have written over 3.4 million words (fan fiction and wholly original fiction combined). So right now my stats on Wattpad for wholly original works are as follows:

  • Dinosaurs – 42 reads, 11 comments
  • How to NaNoWriMo – 26,027 reads, 340 comments
  • My Favorite Things (like kibble) – 983 reads, 133 comments
  • Revved Up – 59,452 reads, 531 comments
  • Side By Side – 20 reads, 2 comments
  • Social Media Guide for Wattpad – 15,953 reads, 592 comments
  • The Canadian Caper – 506 reads, 37 comments
  • The Dish – 250 reads, 24 comments
  • There is a Road – 189 reads, 28 comments
  • WattNaNo’s Top Picks 2018 – 1,975 reads, 45 comments
  • WattNaNo’s Top Picks 2019 – 1,848 reads, 10 comments
  • What Now? – 2,812 reads, 104 comments

More Published Works as of First Quarter 2023

Also, I am amassing quite the collection of published works!

Untrustworthy, which is my first published novel. So yay!

A True Believer in Skepticism, published in Mythic Magazine.

Almost Shipwrecked, a story in the January 2019 edition of Empyreome.

Canaries, a short story in the March 29, 2019, edition of Theme of Absence.

Complications, a story in the Queer Sci Fi Discovery anthology. So this is an anthology where the proceeds went to supporting the QSF website.

Cynthia and Wilder Bloom, stories in the Longest Night Watch II anthology.

Props, a story in the Longest Night Watch I anthology. So this is an anthology where the proceeds go to Alzheimer’s research.

Surprises, a story in Book One of the 42 and Beyond Anthology set.

The Boy in the Band, a story in the Pride Park anthology. So this is an anthology where the proceeds go to the Trevor Project.

The Interview, the featured story in the December 14, 2018 edition of Theme of Absence. So they even interviewed me!

The Last Patient, a story in the Stardust, Always anthology. This was an anthology where the proceeds go to cancer research.

The Resurrection of Ditte, a story in the Unrealpolitik anthology.

This is My Child, a short story published in the April 8, 2019 edition of Asymmetry Fiction.

Three Minutes Back in Time, a short story published in Mythic Magazine.

Killing Us Softly, a short story published in Corner Bar Magazine.

Darkness into Light, a short story published in Corner Bar Magazine.

WIP Corner

So my current WIPs are as follows:

The Obolonk Murders Trilogy – so this one is all about a tripartite society. But who’s killing the aliens?

The Enigman Cave – can we find life on another planet and not screw it up? You know, like we do everything else?

The Real Hub of the Universe Trilogy – so the aliens who live among us in the 1870s and 1880s are at war. But why is that?

Mettle – so it’s all about how society goes to hell in a hand basket when the metals of the periodic table start to disappear. But then what?

Time Addicts – No One is Safe – so this one is all about what happens in the future when time travel becomes possible via narcotic.

Time Addicts – Nothing is Permanent – this is the second in this trilogy. What happens when time is tampered with and manipulated in all sorts of ways? It’s the ultimate in gaslighting, for one thing.

Time Addicts – Everything is Up For Grabs – as the timelines smack together and continue to diverge, it gets harder to tell the “real” timeline from all the newer fake ones. And what if some of the changes are for the better?

Prep Work

So currently, my intention, for 2024’s NaNoWriMo, is to write the third trilogy in the Time Addicts/Obolonks universe. But I need to iron out the plot! So a lot of this year has been spent on that. I have no name for this one yet.

For 2023 NaNoWriMo, I have decided to create a prequel for two or three more of the five main universes: Obolonks (while the Obolonks and Time Addicts are in the same universe, I just plain want to write two separate prequels!), Untrustworthy, The Enigman Cave, and Mettle.

If 2023 NaNo goes like 2022 NaNo did, then whichever one I do first will end up sticking to the script and complete relatively early, and then the second one will … meander.

If I had to choose two which would fill the bill in that fashion, it would either be Untrustworthy + Obolonks or Mettle + Enigman Cave. This is mainly because the first in each pairing are relatively well-defined, whereas the second of the pairings? Eh, not so much. But that could change.

So, I anticipate a lot of fun and perhaps a little confusion. But it’s all good! And if I play my cards right, I can do the final pairing in 2024 and put off prepare the third trilogy till 2025.

First Quarter 2023 Queries and Submissions

So here’s how that’s been going during first quarter 2023.

Reprint

Coming right out of the blue, Mythic Magazine wants to do a second Best of Mythic and chose A True Believer in Skepticism!!! Yay!!!!

In Progress

As of first quarter 2023, the following are still in the running for publishing:

This list is the name of the story and then the name of the potential publisher.

  • I Used to Be Happy – Gemini Magazine
  • Justice – Adbusters
  • Mettle – RAB
  • Soul Rentals ‘R’ Us – A Thousand One Stories
  • Who Do We Blame for This? – Sonder Review

All Other Statuses

So be sure to see the Stats section for some details on any query statuses for first quarter 2023 which were not in progress.

Stats

So in 2018, my querying stats were:

  • 68 submissions of 19 stories
  • Acceptances: 4, 5.88%
  • In Progress-Under Consideration: 3, 4.41% (so these never panned out)
  • In Progress: 10, 14.71%
  • Rejected-Personal: 14, 20.59%
  • Rejected-Form: 24, 35.29%
  • Ghosted: 13 (so these were submissions where I never found out what happened), 19.12%

So in 2019 my querying stats were:

  • 23 submissions of 11 stories (so 6 submissions carry over from 2018)
  • Acceptances: 4, 17.39%
  • In Progress: 11 (so this includes 2 holdovers from 2018), 47.83%
  • Rejected-Personal: 4, 17.39%
  • Rejected-Form: 3, 13.04%
  • Ghosted: 1 (so these are submissions where I never found out what happened), 4.35%

2020 Stats

So in 2020 my querying stats were:

  • 37 submissions of 12 stories (so 9 submissions carried over from 2019)
  • Acceptances: 3, 8.11%
  • In Progress: 7, 18.92%
  • Rejected-Personal: 12, 32.43%
  • Rejected-Form: 4, 10.81%
  • Ghosted: 11 (so these are submissions where I never found out what happened), 29.73%

2021 Stats

So in 2021 my querying stats were:

  • 5 submissions of 5 stories, 100% ghosted

2022 Stats

So in 2022 my querying stats are:

  • 6 submissions of 6 stories (so 5 submissions carry over from 2020 and 2021), plus 1 reprint!
  • Acceptances (reprint; still waiting on it): 1,14.29%
  • Rejected-Form: 1, 14.29%
  • Ghosted: 5 (so these are submissions where I never found out what happened), 71.42%

2023 Stats

So in 2023 my querying stats are:

  • 6+ submissions of 6+ stories (so 5 submissions carry over from 2022), plus 1 reprint!
  • Acceptances: 2, 33.33%
  • In Progress-Under Consideration: 4, 66.67%

It can be pretty discouraging and hard to go on when so little comes up which is positive. But I do need to work on promotions, too!

First Quarter 2023 – Productivity Killers

So it’s work, what else? I am working on a ton of things and since that is also writing, it can sometimes burn me out. Because First quarter 2023 will not be the end of that!

For more information, go to the Progress Reports hub.

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SEO and its Discontents

Published by Janet Gershen-Siegel on March 28, 2023

Search Engine Optimization (SEO) and the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Discontents and SEO?

A look at SEO and its Discontents

Now, I am no expert by any means. But these days, I understand it a hell of a lot better than I did back in the day.But I know it’s important and so I’m going to take my shot at trying to optimize things as best as I can. The fact that the site and this blog are already on Google (and I already pretty much own jespah as a keyword – I’m #2 on Google already) is encouraging.

An Early Hint

In 2010 I met Kevin Palmer for a networking meeting, and told him I was interested in creating a new site for myself. And he told me — it’s like three legs of a stool: Content, Design and SEO.

Content I’ve got. I’ve got content coming out of my ears. I’ve got stuff to write like, like Carter’s got Liver Pills as my Dad would say.

As for design, I use WordPress. It is far, far simpler to just use their templates. They have an excellent understanding of how to put together a sweet-looking website and give it some style. And it’s mine and I made it and I am not only fully responsible for the content, I am also responsible in every way for its design and usability. With the help of WordPress, it’s prettier and more usable than ever.

SEO

But then there’s SEO. My friend, Robert Gentel, who runs Able2know, which we both manage (he’s the owner, I’m the Community Manager/Project Manager/Chief Cook, etc.), had been an SEO whiz (although his methods are a bit out of date). I have talked to him about it a little bit.

As I spread my own wings, I also learn from classes at Quinnipiac and from looking at Google’s own tools and, frankly, from my own experimentation.

I’ll either fly or fall onto the pavement. The first option is more attractive, so SEO it is.

Discontents Can End—Just be Sure to Replace Them With Knowledge

Oh and the title? It’s a play on Freud’s book. I’m not a big Freudian but I do love the title.

Sometimes a title is only a title.

Pulling it Into the Present Time

As I have learned more and more about SEO, I have also found that, much like Plato, I feel like I know less and less. But for me, the easiest way to look at it is to look at Google and how it does SEO.

What I mean is, Google knows that Bing will eat its lunch if it does not give users a good experience. And so, its mission in life is to make sure that people are served up as search results the sites that they really want. And need.

If I search for bunny, then it’s my own damned fault if I get both rabbits and Playboy models.

But when I search for bunny chow, my intent is rather clear. I’m most likely to be either an owner or a prospective owner, or I work with rabbits in some manner. That could be anything from a veterinary clinic to a wildlife preserve.

The chances of me really wanting to know, say, Barbi Benton’s diet are virtually zero.

What Can a Search Engine Really Do?

Search engines can only know what we tell them. A blog about tractors is highly unlikely to have any information on bunny chow. And if it does, then the owner of that blog will have to make it abundantly clear that they’ve got a post or a page on food for rabbits.

Search engines do a lot of counting, weighing, and measuring. If your page on rabbit food only mentions the food one time, and otherwise blathers on and on about tractors, then search engines will rightfully assume that food for bunnies is not top of mind for you.

And if it’s not top of mind for you the writer, but it is for the searcher, then the searcher won’t see your page.

Or at least your page will be so buried that it’ll be as if it does not exist. This is a far better experience for the searcher. So if you want the searcher to come look at your bunny food page, then you had best rewrite your post to cover the topic a lot more closely.

Google is not a fan of either haphazard sites or haphazard blog posts and landing pages. Find a point and find a topic and stick with them. A lot of the rest is just details.

Is that everything for SEO? Of course not. But I think it’s a framework to start from.

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Social Media: Hope, Hype or What?

Published by Janet Gershen-Siegel on March 23, 2023

Social Media: Hope, Hype or What?

Hype? Hope? Now, this subject has probably been done to death but, here I will do it all over again. Perhaps (hopefully!) my perspective will be fresh and/or of some value.

First of all, this post is inspired by The ABA Journal’s take on Social Media. As in the online magazine for lawyers. And they went on about Social Media, much like I have and others have, as well.

Hype Feeds Itself

And I can’t help feeling that that, in and of itself, is feeding the ole hype machine. Is Social Media hyped? Well, let’s put out an article about just that, and we’ll rev up the hype machine and get the word out and and and …. Suddenly, there’s hype about the hype.

Ai chihuahua.

However, there is, perhaps less of a hype issue than there is one of unrealistic expectations. I suspect that most people, if they give Social Media more than a passing glance (and, in particular, if they need to touch on it for business), take one look at it and think: free. Ooh, goody!

This marvelous free thing will supplement (and perhaps eventually supplant) all of the things I have to actually pay good money for! My wealth will increase, in an incredible and exponential manner, because I can put my advertising and marketing dollars elsewhere, outside of traditional (read: expensive) channels, and instead shove it all into some investment that catches my eye. Llama ranching, perhaps.

Traditional vs. Social Media Marketing

Okay. Let’s back up. The real thing is, Social Media marketing isn’t really an apples to apples comparison with traditional marketing. It’s more like holding a town hall meeting and seeing what people have to say about your product. Or like doing community outreach (e. g. having your company send people to work at a soup kitchen or build a house).

It’s like a million networking events. In short, it’s that dreaded, over-used term: relationship building.

And creating relationships is hard. And messy. Plus it’s not necessarily terribly free, at all.

Hype and A Sense of Entitlement

Because I have seen, in many instances, when software on a website changes. And in particular with community forums, people tend to freak out. They have a mislaid proprietary interest in a whole lotta sameness. Or they want the site to be the same from day to day, because that’s familiar to them.

Hence moving the post button from the left to the right, or changing its color, is akin to moving their cheese. So it tears at them.

But, ultimately, they figure it out. And they give it a chance and come back, and pretty soon, so far as they’re concerned things have always been the new way, and were never the old way. Because for them, it’s not about the tools; it’s about the people.

And the same thing should be true for you – and that should knock the hype right out, and for good. It’s not about the tools. It’s not about Twitter, or Facebook, or TikTok, or Groupon, or Yelp, or AirBnB, or MySpace (back in the day), or LinkedIn or StumbleUpon or Snapchat or a billion others. Instead, it’s about the people.

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A Day in the Life of a Social Media Marketer

Published by Janet Gershen-Siegel on March 21, 2023

A Day in the Life of a Social Media Marketer

What does a social media marketer do all day? There’s more to social media marketing than Community Management.

Job titles vary, and nothing seems to be settled yet in terms of prescribed, expected tasks. The Bureau of Labor Statistics doesn’t really have a listing although they do acknowledge that social media is out there. They seem to be more or less placing it under Public Relations-style work.

However, a review of recent job postings reveals what social media personnel are mainly expected to do on the job, whether they’re called Social Media Marketers, Inbound Marketers, Social Media Specialists or something else.

Platforms

Tasks related to platforms. This is what most people think of when they think of Social Media Specialists, and it includes:

  • Blogging – either creating and maintaining one, or encouraging the business or engineering sides to create or maintain blogs, or commenting on and keeping blogs active. May also include polishing prose, suggesting topics and performing research
  • Facebook – creating and maintaining a fan page or pages. Possibly make an account (or more than one) to communicate with users and potentially also find rogue fan sites (e. g. those not created by the company). Perhaps to have them shut down or changed (usually at the behest of the Legal Department)
  • Twitter – creating accounts and maintaining them, tweeting to followers, reciprocally following as necessary/desired and possibly also helping to design a background or logo for the company’s Twitter account(s)
  • LinkedIn – creating and maintaining the company’s profile on LinkedIn, plus adding job openings as necessary
  • Sharing and bookmarking services (these have changed over time) – create and maintain accounts. Make sure that blog posts and any company articles and press releases go to these services, and keep track of all mentions of the company and its products on these services
  • Articles and Press Releases – working with the Public Relations Department. Release non-secret information in the form of articles and press releases as circumstances permit
  • Podcasting and YouTube – working with the PR Department and if there is a Media Relations Department at the company. Create and release appropriate content as circumstances dictate
  • Community Management – create, moderate, manage and promote any online communities owned by the company

More Tasks

Other possible tasks include:

  • Search Engine Optimization Efforts – in conjunction with the Webmaster, work to promote the site’s Page Rank on Google and other search engines, though a variety of activities including but not limited to article marketing, the addition of backlinks from quality resources and helping to select the best keywords for the site
  • Analytics – reviewing Google Analytics 4 (or Yahoo Analytics or Omniture or whatever the company is using). Help the Webmaster reduce bounce rate, increase loyalty, and increase the number of new users and page views
  • On-Site Advertising (if applicable) – work with the Marketing Department and the Webmaster. This is to increase overall online advertising presence or decide on advertising for the site (e. g. banner versus skyscraper, etc.)
  • Strategy – this is probably the biggest task for a Social Media person. Although it’s generally more of a manager’s job. Strategy should be defined and covered with the Board of Directors (or owner if the company is small). Small changes such as adding a link here or there probably don’t have to be a Board vote. But major decisions on direction should be. This can also encompass working with Marketing, such as to determine better ways of presenting and delivering content.
  • Meetings and the Like – apart from the ones above, the Social Media Specialist should find him/herself as a part of many different teams, potentially assisting with advertising, marketing, public relations, media, and web design

Social Media Marketer: Takeaways

There’s more to it than just the tools. What a real Social Media Marketer does is far more strategic and analytical and design-oriented. Twitter, etc. are only the beginning, and may be replaced by the next new thing(s) in time.

But well thought out strategy, carefully observed analytics and usable, pleasing design are timeless pieces of the Social Media Marketer puzzle.

And Later Still…

Social media marketing now can also encompass email marketing, or content marketing and management. It veers into the land of SEO as well. There’s nothing perfect about it, and it keeps on changing.

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Self-Review – The Myth of The Last TryShort Stories, Road, My Aliens, Last Patient, interview, Surprises, Props, shipwrecked, child, Killing Us Softly, Ditte, Band, three minutes, Longest Night Watch, Nothing Good Ever Happens, Complications, Your Call, Darkness into Light, canaries, gentrification, Cynthia, True Believer, Short Stories, Wilder Bloom, Dish, Gentrification, Mitalisque, kitten, Last Try, Minnesota Wish, Dominick and Angela, Alix, Alix’s Apocalypse, A Chance Encounter in Time, A Crime in Time, A Show for the Galaxy, Aenor the Wanted, Alien Justice, And the Band Played the Apocalypse, Babel 2.0, Back, Front, and Side Pages, Camp, Courier to the Soviets, Frozen Assets, Julie's Dollar, Mandy Goes to Aspen, Martin's Choice, Mike’s Grades, Out of the Work Camp Frying Pan, Saddle Up, Bank Teller, Sarah’s Invention, Small Acts of Defiance, The Future Has No Foundation, The Ides of the Secretarial Pool, Unexpected Help, You Will Drink Your Coffee and Like It, Unreliable, East Side of the Universe, Eros vs Thanatos, Dust Between Our Stars, A Show for the Galaxy, A Fairy Tale for Skeptical Adults, A School for Scavengers, Frozen Assets, Out of the Work Camp Frying Pan, 1960s Temporal Crimes, Lizzie Borden is Vital to the Timeline, Walls Came Tumbling Down Again, The End,

Self-Review – The Myth of The Last Try

Published by Janet Gershen-Siegel on March 16, 2023

A Review of – The Myth of The Last Try

I wrote The Myth of The Last Try as a part of writing every day in 2021. This little story hit me pretty hard, so I added a few short chapters to it.

As a result, it has more body and depth to it. Could I stretch it into a novella? Maybe? But the truth is, at a certain point, it becomes obvious stretching. And then a story like this will break.

And I don’t want that to happen to this one. I like it far too much!

Background

One of the best (I feel) parts of the multi-part short story is that it takes place in a location I know well. But it’s not called The Last Try.

Rather, the inspiration is a little place right by where I went to college—The Dugout Café.

The Dugout is a tiny hole in the wall, rumored to have opened right after Prohibition ended. Hence, the bar in the story got a rather similar back story.

Plot

Kel is just an old fellow nursing his beer when the bartender tells him to lift a particular crate. Little does Kel know, but he has been chosen. The very act of lifting the crate changes everything.

Characters

The characters are Kel (Dan Kelly), Dean, Fred, and Olivia. Kel mentions Julie, his late wife. Dean mentions Silas, a prior owner of The Last Try. There’s a little bit about Kel’s mother and his late brother, Rob. And… that’s it.

Kel is just an old man, going to his cousin’s bar. His cousin Dean is even more ancient and frail, but still running the bar. Fred is Kel’s great-grandnephew, and Olivia is his wife.

Every single one of these characters has a heavy Boston accent, although I hear Dean with a bit of a brogue.

Memorable Quotes {the first person talking is Dean}

Near the back window, there was a small door hidden by crates of supplies. “Can you get me one of those?”

Kel looked at the stack skeptically. At age 84, he wasn’t nearly as spry as he had been. “I’ll try. But you might want to get Fred or Olivia to do this.” He nodded in the direction of a great-grandnephew on his mom’s side, and the man’s new bride. Cute, if you liked scrawny. He bent over to pick up the crate.

“No, that one, over there.” Dean pointed to a truly old crate. It seemed to have been from the day Dean had opened the place. “See if you can lift it.”

“Deano, I can’t be throwing my back out, y’know. Seriously, Olivia may be a shrimp, but she’s got some moxie to her.”

“Hey, I heard that!”

“See?”

“Kel,” Dean said, looking at Kel with watery blue eyes, “that crate is for you only.”

Kel furrowed his brow, trying to figure out what the hell that meant. “Okay. But I blame you if I end up at Mass. General again.”

“Fair enough.”

Kel bent down again, squatting this time. “Lift with your knees, not with your back,” he whispered to himself.

“You say something there, Uncle Kel?” Fred hollered.

“No, no.” Kel picked up the crate and it was far lighter than he had been expecting.<

The small door opened of its own accord, and Kel nearly dropped the crate on his foot as the scenery changed.

Continuity

Dean reveals that one of the previous incarnations of the bar was in Ballyvaughan, in Ireland—which is the birthplace of Ceilidh O’Malley. Peri Martin is a graduate of Boston University (as am I!), the nearby university I reference in the story but never name.

Rating for The Myth of the Last Try

The story has a K rating.

Upshot for The Myth of the Last Try

When I was first writing this one, I was just kind of noodling around and had no plans for it. But once the small back door opens up, seemingly by itself, the story took shape.

Given the time frame and the location, there’s no reason why Kel can’t run into, say Noah Braverman and Elise Jeffries of Mettle, or even Peri Martin from The Obolonk Murders.

I like to think there’s a little Last Try in every city. #amwriting

Want More of The Myth of the Last Try?

If The Myth of the Last Try resonates with you, then check out my other articles about Boston short stories and Boston characters.

Character Reviews:

Self-Review: The Boy in the Band

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Self-Review – Wilder BloomShort Stories, Road, My Aliens, Last Patient, interview, Surprises, Props, shipwrecked, child, Killing Us Softly, Ditte, Band, three minutes, Longest Night Watch, Nothing Good Ever Happens, Complications, Your Call, Darkness into Light, canaries, gentrification, Cynthia, True Believer, Short Stories, Wilder Bloom, Dish, Gentrification, Mitalisque, kitten, Last Try, Minnesota Wish, Dominick and Angela, Alix, Alix’s Apocalypse, A Chance Encounter in Time, A Crime in Time, A Show for the Galaxy, Aenor the Wanted, Alien Justice, And the Band Played the Apocalypse, Babel 2.0, Back, Front, and Side Pages, Camp, Courier to the Soviets, Frozen Assets, Julie's Dollar, Mandy Goes to Aspen, Martin's Choice, Mike’s Grades, Out of the Work Camp Frying Pan, Saddle Up, Bank Teller, Sarah’s Invention, Small Acts of Defiance, The Future Has No Foundation, The Ides of the Secretarial Pool, Unexpected Help, You Will Drink Your Coffee and Like It, Unreliable, East Side of the Universe, Eros vs Thanatos, Dust Between Our Stars, A Show for the Galaxy, A Fairy Tale for Skeptical Adults, A School for Scavengers, Frozen Assets, Out of the Work Camp Frying Pan, 1960s Temporal Crimes, Lizzie Borden is Vital to the Timeline, Walls Came Tumbling Down Again, The End,

Self-Review – Wilder Bloom

Published by Janet Gershen-Siegel on March 9, 2023

Review – Wilder Bloom

I wrote Wilder Bloom quickly as I was under a time crunch. I wrote this short story for the second volume of The Longest Night Watch. And all of the proceeds go to the Alzheimer’s Association.

So with the (at the time) very recent death of actor Gene Wilder to Alzheimer’s, the participants decided to honor his memory. So this was much as the original volume was to honor Sir Terry Pratchett.

The story is a simple one. Wilder – called by his real name, Jerome Silberman, cycles through his many roles as he loses his true sense of self. And so the reader, by definition, sees his roles as essential facets of his personality.

Wilder Bloom: Background

With Wilder’s death, it became imperative to me to commemorate him in some fashion. But how? And then it came to me. Since I know Alzheimer’s often affects your short-term memory first, longer term memory would work for my purposes. But what would a long-term actor remember?

Their roles.

Plot

So much like in Props, Mr. Silberman is in a nursing home where he is slowly and not so slowly losing himself. But while in Props the main character plotted her escape, Silberman instead relives his biggest roles. No longer able to distinguish fantasy from reality, he becomes his characters again.

And so, the story essentially turned into countless Easter eggs.

The following films get shout outs:

  • Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
  • The Producers
  • Silver Streak
  • Blazing Saddles
  • Young Frankenstein

I went with these as they are, more or less, his best-known film roles. And I also decided on these because the characters are so indelible. I felt that they would resonate with Mr. Silberman and, by extension, with the reader.

Characters

The only character is an unnamed nurse who observes Mr. Silberman. Through her, the reader learns about Mr. Silberman (Wilder).

Memorable Quotes from Wilder Bloom

He said his second wife – perhaps she was his third – she was a comedienne who died young, of ovarian cancer. He did not speak about her much, but it was always with great affection.

Rating

This story has a K rating.

Upshot

The anthology is stalled in developmental hell. Sad, really.

A wilder Bloom there never was. #amwriting

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Character Review — Johnny BarnesCharacter Review, Josie James, Greg Shapiro, Jazminder Parikh, MD, Johnny Barnes, Dalton Farouk, Peri Martin, Carmen D’Angelo, MD, Dr. Devon Grace, Tommy 2000, Lex Feldman, Velexio, Character Reviews are Coming, Ixalla, Elise Jeffries, MD, Frances Miller Ashford, Marnie Shapiro, Ceilidh O’Malley, Dr. Mei-Lin Quan, Trixie LaRue, Tathrelle, Nell Murphy, Craig Firenze, Adger, Astrid Hennigsen, Benjamin Chase, Bobby/Jerry Brodie, Cyndi Mendez, Dez Hunter, Eileen Bragin, Eleanor Braverman, Judge John Lowell, Keisha Darnell, Minka Lopez, Nell Murphy, Noah Braverman, Olga Nicolaev, Peter Ray, Rachel Gifford, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Sally Bowles/TSTO Tiles, Shannon Duffy, Student #17, Tad Lewis, Ginny Carey, TSTITO, Selkhet 3000, complex evil characters, Emma 1000, They Say This is the One, Elston Young, Trinity Hawthorne, Character Creation

Character Review — Johnny Barnes

Published by Janet Gershen-Siegel on March 7, 2023

Consider Johnny Barnes, One of My Original Characters

Who is Johnny Barnes? What connection does he have to the Real Hub Universe?

Every story needs some sort of a villain. Johnny fills the bill a little too well.

Where Did Johnny Barnes Come From?

I wanted to create a character who would be hard to redeem. He would be uncultured, uncouth, and selfish. Complicating matters, he would be one of the sons of the richest man in Ballyvaughan.

The Past is Prologue — Backstory for Johnny Barnes

So, the Barnes family has five sons: Christopher, Paul, Alfred, Johnny, and Arthur.

Christopher, the heir, marries the respectable Harriet, who he meets in Scotland. They have a daughter, Darragh. Paul goes into the church, and is ordained earlier than he is supposed to be. But money talks, so no one questions that.

Alfred is one of Ryan O’Malley’s star pupils, the other being Ceilidh herself. Alfred is probably gay, and goes to the university at Galway. Arthur, something of a wastrel, ends up in the army. He even fights a native uprising in Malaya.

And then there’s Johnny.

He does not have the inheritance or the calling. And he’s not bright enough to rival Alfred. Not even close. And while he’s just as much of a ne’er do well as Arthur, he isn’t even perceptive enough to go into the military.

So, he drifts. Starting off in rough carpentry, Johnny has no talent for it. Jack (the patriarch) and Christopher eventually give Johnny his own patch of land to work. The bottom line is, he’s not much better in status than the cottiers in Ballyvaughan.

Description

Rough, dark, and unkempt, I think of Oliver Reed in the movie, Oliver! Reed was a difficult person all around, and died relatively young. He wasted his life and his talent.

So, in a lot of ways, he and Johnny are like two peas in a pod.

Purpose/Theme/Motivation

Because they have no other use for Johnny, and Mary O’Malley needs to stay in the village, Jack and Mary come up with a plan. They’ll marry Maeve to Johnny. So, this should have worked out. In particular, he and Maeve actually like each other.

But the reason it doesn’t at first is because of one person — Nora Barnes.

Dying of cancer, Nora wants another grandchild. Harriet is forbidden from having another child, due to her health. Although Ceilidh doesn’t necessarily believe this. But either way, Harriet and Christopher are out of the picture. The other sons are unavailable for some reason or another.

Maeve is still very young and scrawny and has not yet gone through menarche.

As a result, Jack, Mary, and Nora turn to Ceilidh.

Quotes (in the Prequel, Johnny and Ceilidh are Left Alone for the First Time)

Johnny got up and came closer. “Now, Ceilidh, ya can do this in a way that’s at least kinda pleasant—although I don’t think girls like this stuff much, not even Maeve—or it can be rough an’ unpleasant. So, ya should tell me, Ceilidh, what’s it gonna be?”

She bit her lower lip and stared at him, looking into his eyes, a dark brown that was almost black. I see naught but coldness and cruelty there. I don’t know what you see in Maeve, or she sees in you, but at least you’re suited for one another.

She shut her eyes for a second. I curse every day of hunger, every moment that made it harder for Maeve to get taller and stronger. She sniffled a little. I should have given her more of my portion. I should have worked harder. Ceilidh trembled. I should have sold the last of the books. I should have—

“Well?” Johnny came closer and breathed on her neck, making the hairs stand up. “Like I said, this could be kinda pleasant, at least for me. An’ if I like it, I’ll be more agreeable ta ya an’ your Mam an’ Maeve, too.” With a rough, paw-like hand, he clumsily caressed her cheek. “Harriet’s a good girl, come from a fine family. An’ ya’re not neither o’ those things. But dress ya up in good things, like silk an’ lace an’ all that, an ya could pretend ta be. No one would ever need ta know ya came from dirt.”

Relationships

Johnny is a brute at the best of times. His relationships often reflect this.

Maeve O’Malley

He has fun with Maeve, who is smitten with him. I have toyed with the idea of him being developmentally disabled. But I think Maeve (who is smarter than she behaves) would not be so taken with him if he was. In the main books, he is abusive to her. But he is also a decent father, particularly for the time.

Ceilidh O’Malley

Scared of him and disgusted by him, Ceilidh is appalled when the topic of switching the bride is brought up. But in a small way, she can thank him, for he got her to leave Ballyvaughan.

Nora Barnes

Since Nora rules with an iron fist, Johnny is no exception. She disdains him and often treats him the same way she treats many of the cottiers — like something to wipe off her shoes.

Her only interest in him, at the end of her life, is as a means to an end. But that’s her interest in virtually everyone else as well.

Johnny and the Rest of the Barnes Family

Apart from his BFF Arthur, no one in the Barnes family is terribly impressed with Johnny. Harriet is clearly uncomfortable with him. Jack is disappointed. Christopher and Paul essentially order him around. But to be fair, they order just about everyone out.

Conflict and Turning Point

Johnny’s real turning point is twofold. One piece is the initial turning point where Ceilidh leaves Ballyvaughan—and him. He tells everyone in the village that she’s died, lost at sea. But she sends money, and he has no problem intercepting it or spending it.

His second turning point is when she returns to Ballyvaughan a few years later, with Jake Radford and Devon Grace. Her return makes his story of her death fall like a house of cards. Much like money changes Ceilidh’s circumstances, it also changes his. But at least he can be honest about things.

Continuity/Easter Eggs

Johnny Barnes doesn’t really have any continuity, and there are no connections or Easter Eggs when it comes to him.

Future Plans

I have no real future plans for him. He’s an unpleasant character, meant for really just one purpose.

Johnny Barnes: Takeaways

Like Ceilidh’s hard early life, Johnny is a symbol of how harsh the world really was, particularly for poor women. As such, he has nearly nothing to recommend him.

Johnny Barnes is more than the reason why she leaves Ireland.

Want More of Johnny Barnes?

If Johnny resonates with you (or he makes your skin crawl), then check out my other articles about him, Ceilidh, Johnny, Devon, Frances, Shannon, and everyone else as they work to prevent a temporally jacked-up genocide.

Character Reviews:

Self-Review: The Real Hub of the Universe
Self-Review: The Real Heart of the Universe
and Self-Review: The Real Hope of the Universe

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Reinvention

Published by Janet Gershen-Siegel on March 2, 2023

In Which I Turn Myself Inside Out With Reinvention

Reinvention for fun and, hopefully, some profit? Well, kind of. At least, that’s the idea.

Moving Onward and Upward

Reinvention is such a lonely word, isn’t it? We are so used to being one way, and the world is used to it, too. But then there we go, screwing it all up.

I mean, changing it up.

Oops, I mean, improving ourselves.

Well, but what if we liked everything just the way it was?

Ready or not, changes are going to happen. So we may as well embrace them.

Changes

For quite a while, Adventures in Career Changing ended up somewhat stagnant. At the same time, I was running a blog for independent writers called Lonely Writer. The numbers for that other blog were not so great, and they fell off dramatically after I graduated in the summer of 2016. Furthermore, it was costing me some bucks. Hence I decided to simply not allow that URL to renew when it came up again.

Instead, I decided to combine the two works, back here, on Adventures. Because career changing, for me, has also been about writing.

As a result, a lot of the Lonely Writer has simply been republished here.

Cosmetics

You may have noticed me making some housekeeping changes. There is a lot more color. The theme is considerably livelier. But beneath the surface there is another change, and it is not merely a cosmetic one. For these changes also contain adding the Lonely Writer videos, updating what I post here, and what I put on Facebook as well.

And then there’s Twitter (or Twitter for Lonely Writer). Plus of course there is still a YouTube channel, although I may eventually figure out a way to rebrand it.*

Some things cannot be changed (such as the audio in preexisting YouTube videos). But for the most part, I have changed anything that can possibly be changed.

*Just about ten years after graduating, and I still haven’t changed it. Heh, ewps.

Reinvention and Going Pro… ish

These transformations are folding Lonely Writer into my professional social media brand.

But please do not worry! What is free is still free! Rather, I want to introduce you to what I can do. So, that is another purpose behind this particular blog post, all right?

I can blog about virtually any topic, and I can write landing pages. I can create WordPress sites, and I can develop and manage them. See, I can get you started on social media platforms. And I can help you with SEO.

As a freelance blogger, my job was to write about maritime law one day and ad retargeting the next, and then about real estate a few days later. And I can still do that, of course.

Reinvention: Takeaways

In the old, pre-Internet days, people like me would put out a shingle.

So, here’s my shingle.

Almost Six Years Later…

I have worked in regular jobs and not so regular ones. Yet through it all, I have been writing! So, maybe there’s something to this after all?

And why am I reposting this a few weeks after Valentines’ Day? Because self-love is important. And reinvention is a part of that.

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